Chapter VII

Before I could resume my story, she puts a hand on my arm.  I look at her and she asks, “When did you ask your mama... you know, about being in love?”

“I need to back up a little for that.”  She nods.  “After our two weeks traveling together, I went home and Edward went to his assignment.  Mother didn’t confront me about him, demanding to know what was going on.”  I chuckle.  “Instead we talked about what I had seen and done; the people I’d met; and the places I’d been.  I suppose it was almost a month after I came home before Edward even came up in conversation – real conversation, I mean, and not just a passing mention.  And even then, she was pretty subtle about the whole thing.”

“How so?”

“She talked about how glad she was that we were staying in touch; asked what he was doing; how he was enjoying being stationed back on Earth for a while.  And not all at once, either – little mentions here and there mixed in with our other discussions.  And it wasn’t like it was completely unexpected.  After all, they knew we were in touch and spoke often.”  I chuckle.  “She never made mention of the fact that they knew often meant every single day.  And I’m pretty sure she had more than one talk with Daddy about keeping quiet and letting me work out things for myself.  I’m really not sure who was more surprised by my question when I did finally ask her about it.”

“She didn’t expect the question?”

“I’m sure on some level that’s true.  But more, I don’t think she expected me to talk to her about it.  I loved Mother, and she became one of my best friends when I finally reached adulthood.  But for my whole life, I was Daddy’s girl – and with the exception of when I started cycling, I went to him with my questions whenever I could.  And not just for the ice cream,” I add, getting a smile for my efforts.

“So why did you go to her about this?  It seems about the most important question you could possibly ask.”

“That’s why I went to Mother.  I knew how Daddy felt about Edward; he’d told me point blank the day he came to confront me about running away.  Oh, not about coveting him for a son-in-law,” I say, waving my hand to dispel her confusion.  “But I knew Daddy liked and respected Edward like he would one of his own, and that’s saying a lot coming from a Marine.  If I went to him with this, he’d tell me whatever was necessary to get Edward and me together.”

“Your mama wouldn’t do that?”

I smirk.  “I’m sure she would have if she’d had time to prepare.  But she didn’t.  I just sort of put it out there, and she was left trying to answer it on the fly.”

“So what happened?”

“I asked just like you did.  Mother’s eyes kind of bugged out of her head, and she swallowed hard a couple times before she cleared her throat and told me what I told you earlier... about it being too late if you had to ask.”  She nods but doesn’t speak.  “I nodded and we continued making dinner, which is what we’d been doing when I asked, but after dinner was over I went out for a while.”

“Alone or with friends?”

“Alone.  I needed some time to process what Mother had said and to think about what that meant for me.  I got on my bike and just rode for a while, and when I got tired I pulled off at a little out-of-the-way joint.  I walked in and went to the bar and ordered a dirty martini – the barkeep didn’t even blink.  Just poured my drink and took my money.”

“You were old enough for alcohol?” eyebrow raised in disbelief.

“I was a Marine’s kid.  You think I didn’t know how to play the system before I was out of high school?”

“Point,” she concedes and I smirk.

“Damn straight.”

“So how long did you sit there drinking?”

I shake my head.  “Two completely different questions.”

************

I only had the one drink all night.  But I was there for the better part of three hours.  For the first little while, I sat quietly at the bar, sipping on my martini and watching the sports channel that was on.  About forty-five minutes and halfway into my drink, this old man sat down next to me.  He didn’t speak – just motioned the bartender over and in a minute, there was a cold beer sitting in front of him.

I don’t know how he signaled the bartender, but as soon as he gave the old man his beer, he went to the other end of the bar and stayed there until I left.

We sat there silently for a little while, watching the game and occasionally drinking, and I figured the old man just wanted to be near the screen to watch the game.  It was only when he started to speak that I realized he had chosen that seat so he could talk to me.

************

“Did that not scare you?”

I look at her funny.  “No... why would it?  Arianna, I wasn’t unarmed.  Daddy had taught us all self-defense from the time we were old enough to walk and know left from right.  The only way the old man could have hurt me would have been if he’d pulled a gun... or if the whole bar had ganged up on me.  But this wasn’t that kind of place.”

“How could you tell?  Had you been in many bars at that point in your life?”

I pause, considering how to explain it.  “You know, how when you walk into an interview, you get a feel for the room?  How you can tell if the press is going to be hostile or if the interviewer is looking forward to talking to you?”

“Um... no, not really.  I just assume they’re all hostile and hope I’m wrong.”

I cover my eyes with my hand.  Given what I know of her history, I should have expected that.  I sigh.  “Well when I walk into a room, I get a feel for it.  I can tell if people are excited or hostile or ambivalent.  It serves me well in my job.”

“I can see how it would,” she agrees.  “So you had a feeling about this bar?

“And about the old man.  And then he started talking and he had my undivided attention.”

************

“You remind me of myself... sixty-odd years ago,” he said to me by way of introduction and I turned to find his kindly eyes watching me with understanding and a hint of humor.

“Excuse me?”  I was polite – Mother would kick my ass otherwise if she found I was disrespecting my elders even if I didn’t know him.  I looked to see if there was someone else he could have been addressing.  Surely he wasn’t talking to me. 

He smiled and I smiled back in reflex because he reminded me of my Grampa.  “Don’t worry, young lady.  You don’t know me, but I was talking to you.  Because you remind me of myself a long time ago.”

I cocked my head.  It wouldn’t hurt me to listen if he needed to talk and now I was a little curious too.  “How so?”

His smile grew a little bit melancholy and his gaze went distant.  “Believe it or not, I was once a youngster like you – had my whole life in front of me.  I was going to school on a scholarship, involved in sports and clubs and working weekends playing in a band.   And then I met this girl, and she knocked me for a loop.  I mean really – she blew everything else clean out of my mind.  She was all I could think about.  I almost lost my scholarship because of her,” he said with a glance in my direction and I wondered what this had to do with me.  “You think I’m crazy telling you about this, don’t you?”

“No sir,” I answered without thought.

He held my eyes for another moment, measuring my sincerity.  I guessed he found what he was looking for, because he turned his head back towards the game and lifted his beer to his lips.  After he swallowed, he spoke again.  “I wasn’t really sure how to deal with her – she was so far out of my league – and yet that was part of her charm.  I was so taken with her.  She was... amazing.  And I decided I was going to do whatever it took to make her mine.”

“And how did she feel about it?”

The old man snorted.  “She wasn’t particularly impressed.  She thought I was barbaric.”

“I’m kinda inclined to agree with her… especially with that attitude.”  He laughed.

“I am too... now.  But then the only thing I could focus on was the fact that I wanted her in my life – no matter what.”

“And how did that work out for you?”

“Not at all to begin with.  Like I told you, I almost lost my scholarship I was so focused on her.  Then I realized that destroying my future wasn’t the best way to impress her.  And once my focus was back on track, it was a lot easier for me to get to know her.”

“Did that help?”

“Immensely,” he laughed.  “I was a much more interesting person when I wasn’t... how did she put it?  Oh yeah – when I wasn’t acting like a stalker.”

I laughed.  I could understand where the other girl was coming from though I was certainly not going to tell the stranger who had introduced her to me.  Polite meant I listened; it didn’t mean I shared.   “What happened?”

“We went through college and we actually became good friends over the course of the four years we were there together.  But when graduation came, she left.  She had a dream, and she needed to be somewhere else to fulfill it.  I wasn’t part of it – I couldn’t be.”

“So you let her go?”

He smiled, the sadness back in his eyes.  “I had to.  She wasn’t mine to hold onto.”  He picked up his beer and drained it, setting the bottle back on the bar and pushing it away before he turned to look at me again... and waited.  He knew he had me hooked.

“What did you do?”

He shrugged.  “What I could.  I kept in touch; supported her the best I could; I even comforted her through a couple broken hearts when her romances didn’t work out the way she wanted.”

“That seems like... I dunno – it seems kind of unfair of her to use you like that.  Like she was taking advantage of you.”

“But was it really taking advantage if I allowed it to happen?  Besides, she didn’t know how I felt.”

“But....”

He waved away my objection.  “She had no reason to think I meant what I told her when we first met.  Remember, I went out of my way to become friends with her, and to do that I had to let her think she’d slipped from my romantic radar.  So the fact that at that point all she really thought of me as was her staunch best friend was completely my doing.  I had to decide if I wanted to risk that friendship for the relationship I really wanted with her.”

“What did you do?”

He looked around the bar we were sitting at.  “I came to a place like this and drank myself stupid trying to decide if it was infatuation or if it was love.”

“You decided you were in love?”

He shook his head and I frowned in frustration.  “I decided I loved her, but I wasn’t sure if that translated to being in love.”

“My mother told me if I had to ask if I was in love it was already too late.”

“I don’t think that’s true.  It’s very possible to love someone without being in love with them; and the fact that you’re questioning means there’s a definite possibility and that you’re open to it.  But only you know if it’s something you can build a life on.”

“What did you do?”

“Aside from drinking myself stupid?” he joked and I nodded.

“I thought about her; I thought about me; I thought about us together and what she meant to me the way things were.  Then I thought about how it would feel if she was no longer part of my life – I couldn’t breathe. THAT’S when I knew I was in love.  And I realized that if I didn’t try, I would lose her anyway and that it was worth the risk to have her finally be mine.”

He grew quiet and waited.  I swallowed the last of my drink, grimacing at the lukewarm temperature.  Then I looked him in the eye and finally spoke.  “So what happened?”

“She slapped me.”

“Excuse me?”

“She slapped me... on the arm as it happened, but still.  Then asked me what had taken me so long – that she’d been waiting for years for me to finally figure it out.  We married less than a month later and were together fifty-one years before....”  He trailed off, but I didn’t need him to finish to know what he meant.  The expression on his face was telling enough.  “My only regret is the time we missed being together, but I never regretted taking the chance to be with her.”

I was curious, but I hesitated to ask.  After all, it wasn’t really my business.  It obviously showed on my face, and he cocked his eyebrow in question, his expression letting me know it was all right to ask.  “How long?”  He tilted his head and I elaborated.  “How long have you missed her?” not wanting to rub salt in what I could see was still an open wound.

He smiled, though there were tears in his eyes now.  “Feels like forever,” he replied.  “But she’s been gone from me for almost four years.”  He dropped some money on the bar and stood, placing a hand on my shoulder as he stepped behind me.  “I’m not saying you’re in love with your young man or woman – it’s not my place to make that call.  You’re the only one who can decide that.  But if you’re to the point that you are entertaining the possibility, let an old man give you some advice.  There is no greater regret than the chance not taken.  And even if he or she breaks your heart, it just means there is something better waiting.”

He squeezed my shoulder and made his way out the door, leaving me to my solitude once more.  In another few minutes, I took a deep breath and rose from my seat, signaling the bartender for my tab.  He shook his head and told me the old man had covered it.  I thanked him and walked out the door.  It was time for me to go home.

************

“I didn’t say a word to Mother when I got home, and she didn’t ask.  Although she didn’t know where I had gone, she appreciated why I had done so.  And she knew that if I needed to and when the time was right, I would talk to her about what I had discovered on my ride.”

“Did you?”

“Tell her?”  Arianna nodded.  “No, not in so many words.  But she knew, in the way that mamas seem to know.”

“How could you tell?”

“Little comments... actions – things that let me know she comprehended my unspoken indicators.  Still things went on much like they had been before I asked – I attended classes; my sisters went to school or work.  Or as it was in the case of one of my sisters, they joined the military.  I talked to Edward every day, and the conversations grew longer and more personal as time passed.  Then he got his orders for his next off-world assignment, and he came home on leave very briefly to say goodbye.”

“Was it romantic?”

“Not at all,” I say with laughter in my voice.  “We literally had about five minutes alone before his shuttle left, because as I later learned, he shouldn’t have been there at all.  The stop was a special concession for him.  He promised to stay in touch and so did I, but otherwise, there were no promises between us.  Then he kissed me and boarded without looking back.  He told me later if he’d turned around he would have stayed, and that would have gotten him thrown in the stockade or worse.”

“That sounds a little romantic.”

“In hindsight, yes – knowing that was the reason he refused to look back.  But at the time, it hurt.”

“You thought he was dismissing you,” she says matter-of-factly.

“I did,” I agree.  “And it made me a little angry.”  I look at her.  “Have you ever heard the saying, ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’?”

“No, but I understand the implications.”

“That was me.  Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t go out and do anything particularly stupid.  But I did become more social... going out with groups of friends and spending time hanging out with girls and guys that liked spending time with me – trying to see if what I felt for him was real or just a fluke I could mark down to the attention he had paid me.  Mother frowned at me a lot, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.  Only the month before I was wondering if I was in love, and now I was acting like it meant nothing.  And not having heard from Edward in almost a month....  I knew what kind of pull he had – he’d shown me that at the beginning of our relationship.  And now when it actually meant something to me to hear from him, he was silent.”

“Why?”

“He realized he’d made a mistake leaving me the way he had... with things unresolved and me not understanding why.  So he’d made a deal with the devil.  If he took care of a certain assignment, he could come home for a week to take care of our situation.  But to complete his task, he had to be out of communication until it was finished.  It was the only way they couldn’t track him.”

“I take it he was successful.”

I grin.  “Oh yes.  And when he came home....”

“That’s when the picture was made?”

“That’s when the picture was made.  Daddy had Mother bring me to the airfield... said something was coming in special delivery for me.  I couldn’t imagine what, but I decided to humor them.  After all, just because I was in a pissy mood didn’t mean I needed to take it out on the world at large.  When Edward stepped off that shuttle, I went virtually dumb and mute – I couldn’t move and I couldn’t speak.  He raced down the ramp before it was fully extended, jumping the last couple feet to the ground before kneeling in front of me.  I did move enough to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from screaming.  Daddy snapped this picture the moment I said yes.”


Chapter VIII

“So he came home and literally swept you off your feet with a grand romantic gesture.”  I’m not really sure what to make of her tone, but there is a slight smile on her face and a little twinkle in her eyes.

“Kind of.  I mean, I had already figured out I was in love with him.  It didn’t take much for me to let him sweep me off my feet.”  I give her a smile.  “But we still had things to work out and lots of talking to do, and it would take us a little while to iron everything out.  But at least we were finally on the same page.”  She nods but bites her lip and I arch my eyebrow in her direction.  “Go ahead and ask.” I instruct her.  I don’t have the first clue what she’s thinking, but obviously it’s important to her.

“What about his parents?”

I blink.  Surely I misunderstood because that wasn’t even on my radar as a subject of conversation since they hadn’t come up until now.  “I beg pardon?” trying to buy a little time to coalesce my thoughts into some sort of coherence.

The look she gives me should peel the plaster from the walls.  “We’ve talked about your parents.  I know that they accepted him in your life immediately.”  She snorts.  “They accepted him before you did.”  I nod.  “What about his parents?  You haven’t said a word about either of them.”

“Not much to say.  They didn’t like me at all.”

“Why?”

I snort.  “Pick a reason.  I was too young.  I was too crass.  I was a military brat.  I was beneath them socially.”  I look at her.  “Shall I go on?”

She shakes her head.  “What did Edward do?”

I smile in memory.  “You have to remember that Edward had been on his own for over five years by the time we met – almost seven by the time he proposed.  When they explained to him in front of me all the reasons I was unsuitable, he ushered me to his vehicle to wait.  Then he told them explicitly how things were going to be, and what it would take for them to be part of our lives again.”

“He disowned them?”

“He did.  They were never part of our lives from that day.  They didn’t attend our wedding and never knew their grandchildren.  When the kids were old enough to ask about his parents, we told them their father’s parents were dead.”

“You lied?”

“Technically, yes.  But in reality?  No.  They were dead to us and had been for years at that point.”

“And that didn’t bother him?  Edward, I mean.  He didn’t miss them in his life?”

I frown, trying to figure out what I’m missing.  I bite my lip and search her expression, but her eyes are hidden from me, focused now on the hands she’s twisting in her lap.  I shift so I can lay the Pad on the table beside me, and I can feel her relax now that my attention has been diverted.  “We only spoke of it twice – once right after it happened and the second time after his father passed away.  The first time he was full of righteous anger and hatred at their treatment of me.  The second time....”  I pause and clear my throat.  “He was saddened by his father’s death, but he told me he’d do it all over again if it meant having what we had together... that it had been worth it.”

“Do you think he meant it?”

“I know he did.  The fact that my parents welcomed him as a son contributed to that greatly because with them he had a family that loved him despite his parents’ actions.  I know his parents hurt him by rejecting me because that meant they rejected him as well.  But Edward was a strong man, and he had been on his own for a number of years by the time all this happened.”

There is silence for a few minutes and I let it linger.  She obviously still has something on her mind.  Maybe if she can unload whatever is still bothering her, we can get back to the real reason she’s here.  Finally she looks at me.  “If it had been the other way around, could you have done it?  If your parents threatened to disown you if you stayed with Edward – because they disapproved of him for whatever reason – could you have walked away from them like he did for you?”

I look at her, covering her hands with mine and squeezing lightly.  “Look at me,” I command softly.  She hesitates for a long minute before raising her chin and allowing her brown eyes to meet mine.  “When I first met him, at the age of eighteen, no.  I knew nothing of the world or anything in it.  And he really did freak me out on a pretty big scale when we first met – he was so intense.  But as I got to know him - as I fell in love with the military man and the romantic; the graceful fighter and the clumsy dancer; the man who led men into battle and the man who wrote poetry – as I fell in love with all aspects of him, yes.  It would have hurt to hell and gone because we’ve always been a close-knit family.  But I would have left my family behind to be with him.  And Arianna,” I say softly, letting one hand cup her cheek to wipe away the tears she’s permitted to fall from her eyes, “I fell more in love with him every day... even when we fought and yelled with each other.  Every trial we suffered through together?  It was worth it... because we were together.  That was always reason enough Edward said.”

She looks away from me then, focusing her eyes on the far wall and her attention even further beyond, and I can feel her willing the tears from her countenance.  I know the customs of her planet are similar to what they were on mine a century or two prior, and I can’t understand why tears are still considered a sign of weakness for anyone.  We’ve learned that the strong become stronger when allowed to express their joy AND their sorrow instead of being forced to hide parts of themselves for fear of mockery and derision.

I don’t want to embarrass her with my scrutiny, however, and I slip from the bed and cross to the refrigerator to grab another bottle of cold water.  I have adjusted to drinking it at practically any temperature while on this assignment, but I still appreciate that first feeling of cold sliding down into my belly.  I turn to offer her another, but she shakes her head, keeping her eyes focused on the wall as she blinks rapidly.  I cock my head, then come to the sudden realization that she’s waiting for my permission.

Without pausing, I drop onto the small space beside her, facing her and covering her hands with my own.  I don’t move, waiting for her to acknowledge me, and after a long moment, she can’t help but.  Her head turns, but her eyes shift to her lap.  I still don’t move, nor do I speak.  The ball is in her court now.  If she’s going to share with me, she’s going to have to do it on her terms.

“You said you had files on me... on everyone who is being considered for the project?”  I nod and her eyes flicker up at the motion before they drop back to her lap.  “How much do you know?”  I frown, not completely understanding the question.  She looks up at me and though there are tears on her lashes and in her eyes, there is nothing in her expression to give away her thoughts.

“About?” I query, trying to get some sort of illumination on what exactly she’s looking for.  She glares, then realizes I am truly unsure about what specifically she’s asking about.  She shakes her head and sighs.

“I suppose that was somewhat vague, wasn’t it?” giving me a smirk when I arch an eyebrow in her direction.  Her mien sobers and her eyes return to her lap as she sighs again.  “Let me start over.  How long have you been doing this... watching us, I mean?”

I move one of my hands from hers, rubbing across my forehead and eyes before letting it slide down my face.  Of all the questions she could have asked, this is one of the most loaded.  I go to remove my other hand, by she grabs on tightly enough to draw a wince.  I pat her hands, and she looks at me almost involuntarily, and this time her façade isn’t nearly as solid.  I let my free hand cup her cheek.

“Arianna, I’m not leaving, and I am going to answer your question.  I was simply going to move back to my side of the bed so I could lean against the headboard.”

Instead of releasing my hands, she simply shifts over towards the middle of the bed far enough that I have room to sit beside her on the edge of her side of the bed.  I wonder, but I’ve been around long enough to know when to take a hint.  So I pull my hand from hers and turn so I’m leaning against the headboard, not at all surprised when she leans into me, recovering one hand to hold onto. I let the other wrap around her shoulders even as I consider if her mother has ever done this for her.  I feel more than hear her sigh of contentment and decide she probably never did; it makes me angry on Arianna’s behalf.  Still, there’s nothing to be done for it at this point, so I just smile and tip my head down to observe her profile.

“Better?” I ask softly, knowing it is on a number of levels.  She nods.

“I miss being held like this.  It seems like it’s been forever.”

My eyebrows jump in surprise.  “How long?”

She shrugs.  “Mama held me like this when I was little, but once I started training, it seemed to happen less and less.  And not at all since….”  She stiffens and then forces herself to relax, tilting her head briefly then settling back into a more comfortable position.  “So... how long?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Well, what you originally asked was how long I’ve been doing this.  Then you asked how long I’ve been watching all of you.  Those are two different things – more than that, if I’m completely honest.”  She taps the hand she’s holding, and I sense her impatience in the motion.  I smile just the smallest bit.  “I told you I started doing this gig when my daughter’s security was threatened,” feeling her nod.  “She was seven, so close to twenty years I’ve been in this business.”

“Someone threatened your daughter when she was a seven-year-old child??”

“Um hmm.”  My expression is serene, but I still growl when I think about the fucker that thought he could threaten what was mine.  “And it only happened once.  We were proactive after that – determining threats before they were ever allowed to blossom beyond the obsession stage.  The reason my sons are still at an Academy is because they were part of my team and they were asked to stay and teach for their first term of service. Extending their scholastic careers in such a manner meant they were able to qualify in more than one field of expertise.”

“What happened to him?” I glance down at her and cock an eyebrow.  “The man who threatened your daughter.”

“I found him, and Edward made certain he was never able to threaten another child again.”  There is a note of finality in my voice and she nods her understanding.

“So you’ve been taking care of threats for twenty years.  How long have you been working on this project?”

“I’ve been here since before the beginning.  I was brought in when it was only in the idea stage.”

“But this idea has been around for....”

“Quite a while, yes.  It’s been talked about since before you started playing with combining nuclear fission and nuclear fusion.  But your brilliance in that regard spurred more serious discussion, which led to ideas.  That’s when I was brought into the project.”

“To do what?”

“Our purpose was two-fold.  We were to monitor possible candidates as well as to ensure your safety.  We looked into your backgrounds; watched your progress; followed your success and failures; monitored your lives as well as your aptitudes.  As prospects were dropped from our register, we were able to do more exclusive monitoring and research.”

“So you know everything?”

I burst into laughter – I can’t help it.  She jerks her head back to frown at me, and I take a deep breath to contain the rush of humor.  “Sorry,” I apologize.  “I haven’t had a kid ask me if I know everything in a very long time.”  I hold up a hand before she can protest.  “I know you’re not really a kid nor is that what you meant, but it struck me funny.  Cut me a little slack.  It’s really, really late.”

She yawns, causing me to do the same.  “Thanks for reminding me,” she grumbles at me with a glare.

“Sorry,” I return, wiping my eyes.  “And no, we don’t know everything.  We didn’t tap into comm devices or rooms nor did we wire each of you for sight and sound.  We did allow you a modicum of privacy where we could, and we never shared more than was required and then only with those who needed to know.  So you do still have some secrets... even from us.”

She sighs and I wait.  “Do you know...?”  She hesitates, and I keep waiting.  I’m not going to give this to her – she’s got to do it on her own for it to mean anything to her.  After another deep breath she speaks again.  “Do you know about Eli?”

I blink – it takes me a minute to realize to whom she’s referring.  I nod.  “I know many things.  Tell me what you think I need to know,” I encourage.

I feel her shudder and she shifts away, sitting up against the headboard beside me though she retains her hold on my hand.  “You know about my growing up,” smiling softly when I nod.  “You probably know more about it than I do,” she adds with a smirk, “given what you’ve shared with me already.  I was put into school at Mama’s behest, though I really didn’t like it much until towards the end of my scholastic career.  My personality made it hard for me to make friends and my position made it nearly impossible.”  She shrugs.  “Still, it made Mama happy, so I kept my own counsel about it, and it wasn’t so bad at the last.  I mean, I finally had friends and was allowed a certain amount of freedom to participate in school activities with them.”

I nod.  I know all of this, of course and we’ve been over most of this already, but if it helps her, then I’m happy to listen to it again… especially if she continues to share details I haven’t heard before.

“As soon as school was over, I accepted the crown and my role as heir to the throne – that is when my work began in earnest.”

“That’s when you were pulled into the project.”

She nods.  “Yes; even though I was spending less time in the lab, that’s when I was pulled into the project... with the caveat that I be allowed to remain at home until it progressed beyond my contribution.  I knew everything else depended on my work.”

“Did that bother you?”

“What?”  She snaps her head around to look directly at me.  “No,” she replies before I can repeat my question.  “I knew I could bring the reality of combining nuclear fission and fusion to fruition – it was just a matter of how long it would take.  And I had other responsibilities beyond the project; there was no reason to remove me from them before it was necessary.”

“Your choice?”

“My request.  As Papa pointed out, this project would take years regardless and there was no guarantee it would happen in my lifetime.  There was no reason to put my entire existence into upheaval until we were sure it was a go.”

“So once it advanced into the selection process?  How has this impacted your other responsibilities?”

“Papa is convinced it is a necessary evil.”

“I’m not following.”

She snorts.  “Yeah... it took me a little while to understand as well.”  She sighs.  “The reason he hasn’t protested my participation – has in fact encouraged it – is because of the prestige it brings not only to our household, but to our planet as a whole.  We’re being recognized as a first-world contributor and that’s important to him.”

“But not to you.”

She shakes her head.  “No... not really.  I mean don’t get me wrong – the recognition was kind of incredible to start with.  But I did this – *I* earned this.  Not him and not anyone else.  And the responsibility for my success or failure lies on my shoulders.  And as my work goes, so goes the project to a very great extent.”

I nod, because she’s absolutely correct.  The success of everything lies in her work – she is the foundation everything else is being based from – everything is being tailored to utilize her energy source.  She nods as well and resumes her telling.

“So, Papa expects me to be part of this project initially.  As far as he’s concerned, it’s a done deal.  For my work and my research to be included, I will be by necessity a part of this from the beginning.  And he’s thrilled because of the distinction and respect it has garnered us.  But he also believes that I will do my time and come home.”

My eyebrows shoot into my hairline.  “Does he understand what kind of time is involved here?”

“No.  And I’m not going to be the one to explain it to him.”

“And what of your responsibilities to the realm?”

She cuts her eyes in my direction.  “Whose side are you on?”

“No side,” I reply, holding up our hands.  “I just want to make sure I understand everything clearly.”

She squeezes my hand but returns her focus to the far wall.  “If I was given my way, the monarchy would be replaced by a democracy.  In lieu of that, I’d settle for a regent until such time as my work is complete and I return home.  But for now, he and Mama are still in good health and firmly entrenched as ruling monarchs so the point is moot as far as I’m concerned.  Since most of my royal involvement in anything is currently of a ceremonial nature, he is willing to let my royal duties slide to ensure my participation in this project.  Therefore I presently have no responsibilities to the realm as it were.”

“Okay.  So how does all this tie into Eli and Malcolm and...?”  She’s turned to look at me with amusement in her eyes and I can’t help but smile despite the hand covering my mouth.

“I’m getting there,” she chides.  “You have to let me tell it, though.”

I nod and she removes her hand.  I grin evilly at her.  “So what happened next?” I ask.

She narrows her eyes at me and huffs.  I smirk and she can’t contain her grin though it is brief.  Then she starts speaking again.


Chapter IX

“So Papa fully expects me to be part of the original team heading up this project; as far as he’s concerned, it’s a given.  This,” motioning around us, “is merely a formality that must be observed for appearances’ sake so that everyone is seen to have been given a fair shake to be part of the Alpha team.  Once this is taken care of I, and whatever other members of the team are chosen to join me – including Malcolm – will begin making the concepts we have been developing reality.”

“Your father does understand that he has no control over who is chosen, right?”

She cocks an eyebrow.  “He likes to think he does.  To that end, he betrothed me to Malcolm.”

I blink.  “Seriously?”

“Do I look like I’m making this up?”  Her voice is more than a little harsh and her agitation is clear in the way she’s squeezing my fingers sporadically.  I make a mental note to get a therapy appointment – I’m going to need it on my hands before we’re done here.  She releases a breath slowly and relaxes her grip on my hand.  “Sorry,” she mutters.  “Let me start over.”

“When I was approached by the Committee, Papa was thrilled,” she starts dryly.  “Finally we were getting the recognition he felt we deserved.  And it was easy to negotiate the terms I wanted – allowing me to remain home until there were more candidates than just myself to consider.  Papa tried to dictate.”   She gives me a look.  “You can imagine how well that went over.”

I snort.  “Not at all?”

“Not at all.  It almost ended my participation before it started.”

“Would you have let it?” I interrupt.  She angles her head to one side as she considers my query.

“Maybe then,” she admits softly.  “But it wouldn’t have stopped my work.  And eventually I would have sought out a way to utilize it on a bigger scale.  That would have brought me back into the Committee’s purview.  I just wouldn’t have been the basis for the rest of the work going into the project – I would have been an alternate.”

“I take it your father realized that and gave his blessing instead of continuing to make demands the Committee wouldn’t begin to entertain?”

Her smirk is more than a bit angry, and the nod of her head is sharp.  “Yes.  Instead he asked that other scientists from my planet be considered as well.  The Committee agreed and things settled down for a couple years.  I continued my work and carried out whatever royal assignments were handed to me.  Then the Committee tapped me to begin this process and everything changed.”

She clenches my hand again, and it’s all I can do to keep from wincing.  I give silent thanks for whole milk and the strength of my bones.  I reach out with my free hand and loosen her clasp, rubbing my thumb over her hand to persuade her to relax.  She looks at me with a myriad of emotions swirling in her dark eyes, and I give her a tender smile.  “Tell me.”

She nods and closes her eyes, which causes a lone tear to trail down her cheek.  She ignores it and takes a deep breath.  “You know most of this, but....  When work progressed enough on every front, all the scientists were brought here from their home worlds and placed into an environment similar to the one we will be functioning in.  The objective was to see how we fit together as individuals and as team members as well as to weed out any potential unworkable ideas.  I probably don’t need to tell you how that went over.”

“Tell me from your side.  I’m pretty sure you had a different perspective than we did.”

“There were a number of candidates that were under the impression that having made it to that point meant they were in.  They weren’t at all happy to discover this was just another elimination stage.”

“Did it cause issues?”

“It could have... probably would have if Eli hadn’t stepped into the breach before it blew sky high.”

“So what happened?”

************

There was a lot of discontent as more and more scientists arrived in the relatively small underground bunker.  It was easy to see we would be forced to share space living and working.  And most of us were loners... by nature or by necessity.  It was going to be awkward, to say the least – downright miserable at worst.

The most disconcerting thing about the entire situation was no one seemed to be in charge.  No one was there to greet us – handing out assignments or instructions.  Instead we were left to our own devices... which was a dangerous thing with all the egos in the room.

************

“Was that deliberate?” her eyebrow cocks in question.

I smirk.  “What do you think?”

“So it was.  I wondered.”  She sighs.  “It makes sense now, of course, but at the time it was just....”

“I know.  But it told us a lot about everyone.”

She rolls her eyes.  “I’ll bet.  Besides, as Eli aptly pointed out, we weren’t going to be able to rely on outside influences to structure things for us when we got to the final project.”

“Tell me,” I say again, and she nods.

************

There was a lot of grumbling – some of it was downright nasty.  Malcolm tried to put me in charge... pulling the royalty card, which only put people’s back up against me right from the start.  Especially since most of the individuals participating were from democracies... not monarchies.  They certainly didn’t recognize my right to rule anything.  And to be honest, I’d lost a lot of my brashness and outspokenness in the intervening years since high school.  I had to practice a certain amount of decorum in the course of my royal duties, and lab work tended to drive me towards reclusiveness because so much of my work and research I did alone.

The only thing Malcolm did was to unite all the malcontents against me.  And unintentional or not, it was an uncomfortable position for me to be in.

Then from the back of the room, a husky voice spoke up, and Eli was making her way to the front of the room.  I was entranced.

************

“Why?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why were you entranced?”

She freezes... as though she’s never considered the question before.  “She was....”  The pause is thoughtful and I wait.  “She was different – so different from anyone I had ever met.”

“In what way?”

Her smile is wistful.  “In every way that matters,” she replies, her eyes focused on something beyond sight now.  “She was confident without being obnoxious.  And when she spoke, people naturally listened even if they argued with her.  She still had their attention.”  She hesitates and I remain silent.  “She stood up for me,” her voice a mere whisper of sound that I had to strain to hear.

“No one had done that before?”

“Not like that,” shaking her head.  “She didn’t know me – she had no reason to.”

“So what happened?”

************

“All right... listen up.  Here’s what we’re gonna do.”

“Who died and put you in charge, bitch?” a big man snarled from one side of the room.  “Despite her supposed ‘royal pedigree’,” motioning towards Arianna, “we’re all equals here.” 

“No,” Eli drawled slowly, staring at him with the slightest smirk on her face.  “We’re really not.  Some of us are actually intelligent outside our work specialties and a few of us even have the sense to get in out of the rain without being told.  Obviously you’re not one of them.  And if she’s really some sort of royal,” gesturing at Arianna in much the same manner her detractor had, “she’s probably got leadership experience.  But she didn’t volunteer – some other dipshit put her out there.  Why are you assuming he knows anything?  Or that she *wants* to take responsibility for any of you?”  It grew quiet and Eli looked around.  “Now as I was saying, here’s what we’re going to do.”

“Again... who the hell left you in charge?” a woman in the middle of the room asked.

“You think you can do better?  Please,” Eli offered with a cocked eyebrow, waving her hand for the woman to join her at the front of the room.  The woman snarled at Eli, but didn’t move.  “All right.  Then sit down and shut up – all of you.   The fact is we aren’t going to be able to rely on outside influences to structure things for us when we get to the final project.  If we can’t work out a way to live together here, we’re not going to make it there.  I’ll bet a place on the Alpha team that this is just another test.”  There were groans heard throughout the room, but also a majority of heads nodding their agreement.

“Okay, so here’s what we’re gonna do,” Eli repeated for a third time... only this time there was no disparagement.  She looked around the room and found a sense of expectancy.  She nodded sharply.  “We need to decide how we want to split living space first.  We can figure out workspace once we’re settled.  I’d like to suggest that we pair up with people we don’t know... especially if you won’t be working with them.  Part of the purpose to this has got to be getting to know one another,” seeing heads in accord even as people started shifting around.

Malcolm headed towards Arianna, but a look quelled his progress and he quickly turned his steps elsewhere.  Eli turned to Arianna.  “Whaddya say, Angel?  You and me?”

Arianna smiled.  “I’d like that.”

************

“It really wasn’t that difficult,” she says softly, her eyes still fastened on a spot on the far wall.  “Once we were all on the same page, we realized Eli was probably more right than she knew.  And once we had pairs, it was easy to do a raffle to decide who ended up where.”

“There wasn’t any more grumbling?”

She snorts and I grin.  “Not on that account anyway.  There was plenty of grumbling as I’m sure you’re aware.  But Eli managed to get everyone settled into living quarters pretty easily, all things considered.  Dividing up workspace was a different challenge, but surprisingly not difficult.  I mean, a lot of it was a given simply due to the various specialties that were present.  And Eli was always there to mediate a dispute on the occasion that it was necessary.  After she took charge that first day, everyone just looked to her naturally for leadership.”

“Even Malcolm?”

Her face hardens and her lip curls in disgust; I wonder why she’s still tied to him if she disdains him the way she seems to.  She turns to look at me and I thank God for the years I’ve had to practice my stoic demeanor.

“Malcolm, despite Papa’s belief otherwise, has never been particularly bright... especially when it comes to dealing with people he’s convinced are his lesser.  He was one of the disruptive members of the group – there were a few.  Most of them have already been weeded out because their efforts were less than stellar.”

She doesn’t say it, but I know she is more than a little curious to understand how Malcolm has managed to maintain his status as a peered member of the project.  Because she’s right – he’s not nearly as brilliant as the rest.  She probably believes that her father’s influence has something to do with it – and she’d be right... just not the way she thinks.  However, it’s not my place to reveal the truth to her.  I will do that to the Committee when the time is right.

“So I take that as a no then?”

Her laughter lacks humor, and her reply is as droll and dry as any I have ever heard.  “Take it as a no.  He spent much of what little free time we had trying to undermine her authority – authority we had given her willingly and which she had accepted grudgingly because no one else wanted to step up into the leadership role we deemed necessary to be successful.”

“So what happened?”

Her head drops and I realize we must be getting close to the crux of the matter.  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  None of this was supposed to happen!”

I cup my fingers under her chin and bring her head up until our eyes meet.  There are tears in her eyes again, but I ignore them, searching her face before I whisper.  “Tell me.”

“You have to understand – this was so far out of my experience....”

“Arianna, you don’t have to justify yourself or anything that happened to me.  I’m not here to judge, all right?  I’m here to listen... and maybe help.”

“I don’t think you can.”

“Let me decide that.  Now tell me.”

************

Things with Eli just fit in a way they hadn’t with anyone in my life before.  Even Kip and my friends in high school – it had taken me years and vast amounts of effort to get them to see *me*.  Not the Princess or the genius or the obnoxious kid... just me.  And suddenly....  It was like Eli took one look at me, and she just knew.

She didn’t treat me as a freak or something special – she treated me like everyone else, and that was soooo....  I had never met anyone like her.  She never asked if I was royalty or not – she didn’t care.  To her I was just Arianna; I was just her friend.  And that meant more to me than anything... even Papa’s approval.

The first couple months were hard for everyone.  There was a lot of adjusting on some pretty steep curves.  But for Eli and me, it was like we had always been.

I should have seen it coming, I guess.  After all, opposites attract, right?  And it was... magical.

************

She grows silent, and though I know exactly where this is going I need for her to tell me.  She’s got to face this head on if we’re ever to get to where we need to be.  I look at the clock.  And we’re running out of time.

“What was?  What was magical?”

“You have to understand – Eli was everything I wasn’t... except brilliant.  She was brilliant... is brilliant actually; just not in the same vein that I am.  Her brilliance lies in her ability to see the big picture and make things come together so they fit like they should.  I tend to focus on what I am doing, tuning out everything around me while she....”  Arianna shakes her head.  “But it wasn’t just her mind that was different – it was everything.  And in that regard, it made us impossible from the start.”

I cup her cheek, bringing her eyes back to mine.  “Arianna, assume I know nothing of what’s gone on.  Give me the details.”

She nods again and bites her lip, willing the tears back.  A deep breath then she starts speaking in a whisper and I strain to catch her words.

************

Eli was brilliant, but she was wild... untamed by the standards I had always known.  She came from a place based on matriarchal societies; where people were governed by those they elected to office; where everyone was a warrior by choice and considered it an honor to serve thus.  Consumption of flesh is an acceptable practice on her home world and people there are free to choose a mate they feel love for.  It’s not decided by dowry or suitability or parental wish.

And being with her... being her friend... was a liberating experience for me.  She taught me so much, even in the first few months when we were all trying to adjust to functioning together in this new environment as a society.

Of course, she had to adjust to a non-meat diet, and that was probably my biggest contribution to helping her to adjust to the constraints of the project.  After all, I had never eaten meat so I knew how to make the best of what was available.  And it made me happy to be able to provide for her that way – in a way I knew most of the others couldn’t.  It made me special, and I liked that feeling... especially as it regarded her.

And she was so patient with me about... well, everything.  I suppose I really should have seen it coming.

************

“I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.  I had never....”  She takes a shuddering breath and I wait.  “I never considered....  And when she kissed me the first time, I was lost.  I knew what it was to feel... really feel and I let myself fall headlong into feeling without stopping to consider the consequences for anyone.”

“What sort of consequences?”

“The kind of consequences that end with me betrothed to a man I can’t stand.  The kind of consequences that alienate the only person I have ever felt strong emotion for and cause her to not just hate me, but loath my very existence.”

I sigh silently.  Finally.  “Tell me the rest.  Then we’ll see what I can do.  Miracle Worker, remember?  Have a little faith.”

“This is going to take more faith than I’ve got, Mary.”

“We’ll start with a little and build from there.  Now tell me.”


Chapter X

The first few months were furiously busy – Eli and I passed one another coming and going most of the time.  If we were in the room at the same time to sleep, it was fortuitous timing more than anything else.  Aside from the labs and workstations that had to be established, there were domes to be built and common areas to set up and stock.  It was a madhouse, but once it was decided where each discipline would be housed, it went rather smoothly.  Because we knew it was going to take effort from everyone if we wanted to see the project succeed.  Not that it was without argument, of course – we still had our few dissenters and all our egos, but mostly it was understood that we all stood a better chance if we stopped competing with one another and worked together. 

Eventually of course, things settled down into a less hectic, more human pace, and we were able to do more than work sixteen to eighteen hours a day.  That was such a relief, and that more than anything allowed us to start becoming a family.

We had agreed that a twenty-four hour day was necessary at the beginning to ensure nothing got by us.  Eli worked out a schedule that rotated hours on and time off.  And since everyone involved was degreed in more than one science, she made it so we worked in more than our own area... allowing us to get to know not only one another, but the sheer magnitude of the intricacies involved in actually bringing things to fruition.

When we finally reached the place where twenty-four hour monitoring in every lab wasn’t needed, Eli reworked the schedule.  We were allowed an entire day off every couple weeks and it felt like such an indulgence because our hours also got cut – we went from eighteen hour days to ten or twelve hour days.  So we suddenly had the luxury of free time and it was wonderful.

Of course, some of that free time was spent ‘bonding’ as a group – watching movies; playing sports; cooking family style meals together.  We even had game nights and card tournaments.  It was fun and good for us too.  It was relaxing, and that went a long way towards making life smoother.

It was during this time that Eli and I found time to spend together.  It wasn’t deliberate... not at first.  There were just opportunities to do more in our room than sleep and many evenings we found ourselves curled up in our beds just talking to one another.  Not about anything important – not what you’d consider important anyway.  We tried not to discuss the project or our work – we got enough of that when we were working.  Instead we talked about life and philosophy and music... things that mattered to us.  She told me of her home and I shared about mine.  I actually watched her gray eyes go completely black with anger more than once on my behalf and that did something to me – put a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

We probably did that for a month or two before we were really comfortable with each other. It took us a while, but we were finally friends.

We weren’t quite halfway through our yearlong tenure when we decided to add evening walks to our repertoire.  Not exercise, mind you – we started our days with that.  She was a runner; I preferred yoga.  No, our evening walks were just that – walks around the compound.  We’d visit the different labs to enjoy the fruits of labor our colleagues had produced – the scent of pine and citrus; the fragrance of flowers; even the food gardens weren’t to be missed.  And we’d always stop and talk to whoever was about.  Those who were working appreciated the chance to bring Eli up-to-date personally, and those that weren’t loved the chance to interact with her socially.  I was included by default at first and then on my own merit; it meant so much more than I expected.

It was on one of these walks that she first held my hand... guiding me to something she wanted to show me.  She simply neglected to release her hold once we reached our destination, and I saw no reason to change the situation.  It was on another of these walks that she kissed me for the first time, and it was... it was everything.

I didn’t know then how much.

************

“You know,” she says softly, and I strain to hear her words.  “You wouldn’t think anyone as exceptionally gifted as I am could be so ignorant.  But it’s the truth – my sole defense rests in the fact that I was still ignorant of a great many things.”

“Like what?”

She blinks and looks at me briefly, before dropping her eyes to her lap and shaking her head.  “Everything that matters it seems.”

“Like what?” I ask again, pushing her for an answer.

She sighs, knowing I’m not going to let this one go.  “Like what that kiss really meant.  Like not realizing what sex with her would be like.  Like not knowing how far Malcolm would go or what my father would do.”

“Tell me.”

“You need to understand something about the culture I come from,” she says, meeting my eyes and waiting for me to nod my agreement.  When she gets what she’s looking for, she takes a deep breath and glances at her hands before returning to stare me in the eyes.  Whatever she has to share is important enough to her that she wants to ensure I absorb the intent of her words.  “On my planet, once a person reaches the age of majority and consent, they become sexually active.  Interest is indicated by a kiss, and if it is returned and both parties agree, then sex follows as a matter of course.  The idea is to gain experience with a multitude of partners before marriage so that you and your mate will have the knowledge and skill to make one another happy during your union.  It is believed to make marriage partners more faithful to one another.”

My eyes widen, but I refrain from making any comments.  She’s not looking for commentary and it’s not my place to judge anyway.  I nod slowly.  “Okay.  I’m with you so far.”

“Right,” she says with a sigh.  “This behavior generally continues for two to five years – until betrothal is arranged.  After that, we are celibate until the wedding night, at which time we pledge ourselves and our fidelity to our new mate.”

“And how long does each liaison last... generally speaking?”

“Well, it depends on the people involved of course, but usually there are a few encounters before moving on to new associates.  Most never last more than a few weeks; more than a month is considered long-term.”

“Uh huh,” I drawl slowly, rubbing my forehead in an effort to defeat the headache I can feel forming there.  Seriously, who comes up with this stuff??  No wonder I’ve got a fubar of epic proportions on my hands now.

“I know you don’t agree with it,” she says softly, and I drop my hand to look at her again.  “But until recently, it’s worked for us.”

“What happened recently to change that?”

“Eli – when I wasn’t looking.”

“Tell me.”

************

When Eli kissed me, it was wonderful.  She had obviously been taught by those with considerable experience on her planet.  And I was thrilled to return it enthusiastically.  I wanted her to know I thought we would be well-matched in the sexual arena.  So imagine my surprise when after a single kiss, she walked us back to our quarters... and said good night.

I was confused.  Had I done something wrong?  Was I too inexperienced for her?  I would have asked, but aside from the embarrassment and humiliation I felt, she had already turned out her light and rolled over to sleep. I was completely unwilling to degrade myself further by waking her to ask.

I would have set it aside as a fluke, except it happened again – every single night for the next two weeks.  And every night, I tried to adjust my kiss to convey my desire to have sex with her.  Things progressed – our make-out sessions grew quite heated, but they never moved beyond kissing.  Finally though, I grew frustrated and demanded she show me what I was doing wrong.  She looked at me like I was crazy.

“Angel, you’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Then why don’t you want to have sex with me, Eli??”

Her brow furrowed and she pursed her lips.  “Who says I don’t want to have sex with you, Angel?”

I slammed my clenched fists into the sides of my legs.  “You do!  You have every night for the last two weeks.  So I’m obviously still doing something wrong!” glaring at her.

The lines on her forehead relaxed and her lips creased into a smile.  “Angel, you’re not doing anything wrong.  I like kissing you.  And I’m looking forward to making love with you as well.  I didn’t realize we were on a schedule.”

I was flabbergasted.  So I hadn’t done anything wrong and she wanted sex with me as well.  The fact that she called it love-making instead of sex was something I put down the differences in our cultures.  I had no idea how true that was, but at the time I missed the importance of her words.  I was too focused on the fact that sex with her was not only still a possibility, but a likelihood... and in the very near future if I was reading the signs correctly.  To say I was excited was an understatement.

I met her eyes and realized that she was waiting for a response, and I frowned as I tried to remember what she’d said that might require one.  Her brows furrowed and her lips parted to speak.  Then it occurred to me what she was looking for and I clutched at her arm.  “OH!” my mouth curling up in a smile, causing hers to follow in reflex.  “Sorry – I was so happy to hear you’d like to have sex with me that I almost missed the rest.  We’re not on a schedule... except our own.”

“That’s good to know, Angel.  Now c’mon... it’s late and we’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

“And an early start,” I grumbled, making her chuckle.

“And an early start,” she agreed. 

************

“It was like that talk took the pressure off both of us and allowed us to move forward without the expectation of sex.  I mean... we both knew we wanted it, and we were definitely looking forward to engaging in sexual activity together, but by putting it out there, it was as if it became less of a goal and more of an eventuality that we would get to in our time.  We grew closer – which was an anomaly for me, but it was so welcome.  Eli touched something within me....  I never knew....”  She sighs and looks at me, willing me to understand what she can’t seem to articulate.

“You’d never felt like that before?”

“Exactly!” she exclaims, pointing a finger in my direction.  It’s all I can do not to jerk away from her.  “In my culture, feelings don’t come until after betrothal or marriage... if they come at all – it keeps things from getting messy, you know?”

“I can see where that could certainly be for the best.  But how do you keep from feeling?”  She looks at me like she doesn’t get what I’m asking and I sigh. She probably doesn’t.  “When you choose your sexual partners, how do you do so?  Aren’t there some kind of feelings involved?  Like attraction or lust or desire?”

She looks at me like I’m stupid, and I guess by her standards I am.  “Of course.  But those are superficial feelings – things that can be sated in an encounter or two... something manageable.”

“And what you feel for Eli isn’t so transitory.” I make a statement, and the look it garners me from her should burn me to ash.

“What I felt for Eli....”

“NO.  You can lie to your daddy and your fiancé and every single person outside of this room if you think it’s necessary to do so.  But you don’t get to lie to yourself or to me.”  She opens her mouth to make a rebuttal and I shake my head.  “NO,” I repeat.  “Despite what you think, I’m not stupid.”

“I never said....”

“You didn’t have to,” I cut her off.  I take a deep breath.  Now is not the time for me to lose whatever progress I’ve made.  But before I can speak, she does.

“You’re right – oh... not about thinking you’re stupid.  If I thought you were stupid, I never would have agreed to talk to you about this even if it meant I went home tomorrow.  But you deserve better than me lying to you, and lying to myself....”  She shakes her head and gives me a tragic smile.  “It hasn’t been particularly successful for me.”

“It never is,” I agree.  I wait a moment, but when she doesn’t speak further, I prompt her.  “So what happened?”

“We became lovers, and it was incredible.”

“Tell me.”

************

It was surprising when it finally happened and yet I felt as if I’d finally come home.  It was one of our regular evenings – we’d eaten with a group of our friends and had a dance contest afterwards, which was one of the funniest activities we ever held in the bunker.  Because let’s face it, most of us were far too involved in our work to do more than shuffle our feet occasionally and hope we did it to the beat.  Practice makes perfect, however, so we were marginally better then when we started – but it was still highly entertaining to watch any of us try to do complicated dance moves.

It was a night full of laughter, and after we had our turn, Eli and I left to take our evening stroll through the compound.  There wasn’t really anything notable about it... not really.  We went through the gardens, and the scent of the flowers and the hum of bees was heady.  She kissed me, and I wrapped myself up in her when I kissed her back.  When she pulled away from me, she looked into my eyes for the longest moment, her gray eyes black in the shadows.  She traced the skin on my face and gave me a tiny smile, then without a word, she pulled me out of the labs and headed towards our room.

She locked the door behind us when we stepped inside – something she had never done before due to her position in the community.  The sound made me smile because I knew what it meant, and I was so ready to share that intimacy with her.

Her touch was slow and tentative at first, but I let her lead the private dance we had started together.  She reached places in me I hadn’t been aware of before, and when I touched her in return, I did my best to return the tenderness and pleasure she’d shown me.  When our first encounter was over, she cried in my arms.  And I discovered I was her first.  That was so humbling, but it made me cherish the experience even more.  It brought us even closer together... which for me was unusual.  I didn’t remember my first sexual encounter with any sort of fondness, but I felt protective towards her after hers.

And so we became more than sexual partners – we became lovers and it was wonderful until I was removed from the underground portion of the project at Papa’s request.  Then everything went to hell in a hand basket.

************

“Do you know what he told the Committee?” I ask her when the silence goes on for too long.  “Do you know how he was able to get you removed from the underground facility without jeopardizing your place in the project?”

She shakes her head.  “I never asked.  I was ambushed the moment I returned home and by the time things were over, I really didn’t care.”

I’ve never seen or heard such defeat in her before and I wonder how her father can believe he’s doing what’s best for her.  What’s best should never cause this kind of confusion or unhappiness.  “Would you like to know?” I offer.

“Do you?  Do you really know?”

I give her a lopsided smile.  “I know many things.  This is one I really do know.”

She gives me a sardonic look.  “Let me guess – he claimed it was something necessary to my position as Princess.”

I nod my head, not surprised that she figured it out.  “He did indeed.  He refused to elaborate, and since the Committee doesn’t actually have a claim to you until you are chosen as part of the final selection, they had no grounds to dispute his words.”  She nods but she doesn’t speak.  “Tell me what happened when you went home.”

************

I managed a bare nod of my head towards the throne when I entered the room.  I was still furious that I had been removed from my position – and from her – and I made no effort to hide my upset.  I did have presence enough to note that Papa was scowling behind the beaming smile I could see; that Mama was nervous; and that Malcolm was present and wore the smuggest smirk I had ever seen on his face.  I stood and waited, not at all happy to be home for whatever reason... especially since I could feel in my guts that I wasn’t going to be happy by the end of this.

Papa began to welcome me effusively, and in my anger, I cut him off.  “Don’t patronize me, Papa.  Simply tell me why you summoned me home so I can get back to work.”

“And her?” he sneered.  “I know what’s been going on with you and that animal, Daughter.”  It was an odd sensation – I could feel the blood drain from my face even as my fury rose.  “I could excuse your curiosity about sexual intimacy with someone not of your species – after all, it’s not usual in our culture to be placed in such close proximity to someone so different and you’re a scientist.  Curiosity is part of your genetic make-up.  I could even excuse the fact that she’s a meat-eater and a warrior if you had adhered to the rules of engagement we utilize during sexual awakening and moved on after sating your curiosity.  But despite knowing how things work in our society, you’ve been with the same individual for three months now.  Obviously it is time to betroth you to your marriage partner.”

“Papa!”

“NO!!” he roared.  “This isn’t a vote.  You and Malcolm are hereby formally betrothed to one another!  He will accompany you everywhere you go from now on.  Because of the rules made by the Committee, you cannot be married to one another until you return from this project.  Therefore the wedding will take place when you return from your current assignment.  Until then you are betrothed to one another and I expect you to behave thus!”

“Papa!!”

“NO, Arianna!  I have spoken.  My word is final!”

************

“We were both sent back to the bunker to continue our work.  Malcolm announced the betrothal the moment we re-entered the compound.  Eli looked devastated, but she didn’t say a word.  She simply left the common room.  By the time I made it to the room we shared, my things were outside the door and it was locked against my entrance.  She hasn’t spoken to me since the day before I left for home.”

“Is that all?”

“Is that all?” she laughs, though the sound is close to hysterical.  “Isn’t that enough?"

I take her hands and wait for her eyes to track to mine.  “Arianna – Is. That. All?”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, but her eyes never leave mine.  “I love her.  I know I’m in love with her and I’d do anything to fix this.  With her and with them.”

I nod.  This is what I’ve been waiting to hear.  “Go to sleep.  It’s time for the Miracle Worker to do her magic.”

“You can fix this?”

“I can give you a chance.  Now go to sleep.”  She closes her eyes obediently and in mere moments slips into deeper sleep.  I look at her enviously for a moment, then ease my hands from hers and stand.  I cover her carefully and move towards the door.  We’ve got work to do.


Chapter XI

I open the door and Caleb moves from the end of the hallway where he’s been watching from for most of the night.  Smoothly the rest of the security contingent spreads out to keep everything covered while Caleb and I talk.

“Chief?

I rub my eyes and and sigh.  “How’s everything out here, Caleb?”

“Quiet, Chief.  Except for that little disturbance with Jacob and of course Arianna’s little episode, it’s been a fairly uneventful night.”

I give him a wry look.  “Yeah, that was enough commotion to last me for a while. Thanks.”

Caleb gives me a sympathetic look.  This job has been a logistical nightmare among other things, and this bump in the road is just the pinnacle of my frustration at this point.  I rub my burning eyes again and he clears his throat to speak.  “How is she, Chief?”

“Physically, she just needs some rest.”  He glances at his watch and gives me a smirk.  “Yeah, yeah – we could all use some rest right about now.  Too bad there’s no time for it at the moment.”  I sigh.  “Otherwise... well, I’ve got to work pretty quickly to straighten this out before the Committee makes its final selections.”

“Can you make it right?”

“With enough time, I can give them the chance to fix it.”  I yawn and stretch, smiling when Caleb clenches his jaw against the same thing.  “Sorry,” I mumble when I finish; he just glares at me... then shrugs.

“S’okay, Chief.  I’m not really sure how you’re still awake myself.”

I snort.  “Years of practice being a mom.  But I’m going to go get a shower and see if I can wake up a little bit before I have to meet with The Powers That Be.”

“You want me to have room service send something up?”

“Rocket fuel,” I joke, drawing the grin I expected.

“I’ll get right on it, Chief.”

I nod.  “I should be back out here in fifteen minutes or so.”

“I’ll make sure the coffee’s hot and the biscuits are fresh.”

“You’re a good man, Caleb.”

He laughs and reaches for his comm unit.  “Remember that when raise reviews roll around, will ya?”

“Do my best.”  I push the door open and step back across the threshold.  “I’ll be back.”  Then I close the door before Caleb can offer a smart remark.  I glance at the bed long enough to notice that Arianna hasn’t moved.  I move to the closet and grab some clean clothes, then walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me.

************

I feel better when I step out of the bathroom – at least I’m awake and somewhat reinvigorated though there’s no guarantee how long that will last.  Arianna still hasn’t moved and I ease the door closed behind me when I exit the room.  Caleb is as good as his word, and there is a stocked room service cart waiting for me.  I pour myself a cup of coffee and prepare it to my liking, sucking it down as though it’s nectar.  The team remains in their assigned places and I savor the bit of calm before the storm.

When the first cup is history and the second cup is made, I lean back against the closest wall and let my eyes wander the long corridor.  Up and down its length and at the corners of the intersections, my security team stands carefully vigilant.  Caleb arches his brow at me and my shoulders drop even as I nod slightly.  He wouldn’t be asking if something hadn’t come up.

“Caleb?”

“Chief, we got word about five minutes ago that Arianna’s father intends to be here this morning to lodge a formal complaint against you for removing Malcolm from the premises.  He claims you have neither the right nor the jurisdiction to take such action.”

The smile I give him makes him flinch instinctively even as he smirks.  Caleb recognizes that particular smile and he knows it bodes no good for any number of people and things.

“I welcome him to try.”

“You know something more...?”

“I know many things.  But mostly I know he doesn’t have nearly the leverage that I do, and he’s not as powerful as he likes to think he is.”

“I’m glad you’re on their side.”

I cock my head.  “I would still like to talk to the other party involved, but I can shut him down without knowing their side.  It helps that the Committee is looking for a way to rid itself of Fernando without losing Arianna’s knowledge or work in the process.”

“You think she would go against him?”

“If it gave her the chance to get rid of Malcolm and reclaim the one she truly wants... in a heartbeat,” I confirm.  “She’s not particularly enamored with a lot of her realities right now and her father is at the heart of her biggest conflict.”  I release a deep breath.  “What time?”  Caleb cocks his head in question and I arch my eyebrow in response.  “What time is Daddy Dearest expected?”

Caleb looks at his watch.  “His shuttle should touch down in three hours.  We got word to postpone the interviews by an hour this morning, so the Committee will see him at the beginning of their business day and have allotted an hour for him to make his argument.”  He gives me a knowing smile.  “Are you going to be there?”

I smirk and nod.  “Wouldn’t miss it.”  I swallow my last mouthful of coffee, grimacing at the bitter, lukewarm taste.  I set the cup back on the cart and grab a danish, knowing I will need the fortification if I’m not going to get any sleep in the near future.  And thanks to Arianna’s father, I’m pretty sure sleep is going to be nothing but a pipe dream for a while longer as far as I’m concerned.

Caleb looks at me for a long moment, then pours me a glass of milk.  I nod my thanks, chugging it like I haven’t had sustenance in days.  Caleb takes the empty glass from my hand and refills it as I finish chewing and swallowing the remainder of my breakfast.  It isn’t the first meal we’ve had on the run, and it won’t be the last.  In our line of work, it’s as common as not.  I take the second glass of milk from him and drain it a little slower than the first, but still quickly enough to leave a moustache.  Caleb chuckles and offers me a napkin.  I stick my tongue out at him, then wipe it away with a smile.  Leaving it would certainly not make the impression I need it to make.

“Better?” I ask.  He nods.

“Much.  How do you feel?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.  “Like I’m getting too old for this shit,” I reply honestly.  “I thought I gave up all-nighters when my kids moved out of the house.”

Caleb laughs, not even trying to contain himself.  “You might have, Mary... if you hadn’t invited another hundred into your life once your kids were out on their own.”

I face palm.  “What was I thinking?” I mutter.  He smirks.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

I snort.  “Not if you’d like to see your bed anytime soon.”  I look around and sigh.  “I’m going to go get my Pad and review a few things before these kids start stirring.  Let me know if anything happens I need to be aware of in the meantime.”

“You’ll be in there?” nodding towards my room.

“Yes.  It’s not like there’s anywhere else much for me to go, and I’m not going to invade her privacy and use her room just because she fell asleep in my bed.  It’s not like I read out loud or anything.”

Caleb grins.  “Okay, just... keep the monitor close, will you?  I’d rather not disturb her if we need you, and given the way the past few hours have gone, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear from at least a few more of these kids like we did from Jacob earlier – concerned about her in spite of themselves.  I know they still care.”

I feel my gaze sharpen in the blink after his words and he does an admirable job containing his reaction.  It’s nothing more than a widening of his own, but it’s there.  I frown.  “What have you heard?”

“Little things,” he admits.  “Things that didn’t make much sense on their own – just random bits of information.  But with what Jacob said tonight....”

“You heard that, did you?”

“You know I did.  I was never out of listening range.”

I nod – it’s true. No one else would have believed Caleb was able to overhear our conversation, but I knew for a fact his hearing was superior to humans.  He was among the best of his kind.  “So what else have you heard?”

“There are a few who are angry at her, but most of those that are left are more hurt by her disregard of them than they are angry.  The smart ones know that something happened when she went home, and they believe it was done against her will.  But since her planet is not welcoming of outsiders as visitors, they really can’t imagine what it could be.  And since she’s never shared much about her home world, there’s just a lot of rampant speculation.”

“Is any of it close?”

“Surprisingly, yes.”  He nods his head towards one end of the hall.  “Jacob has been particularly insightful about possibilities.”

“And the rest?”

“Of those we expect to make the Alpha team with her?”  I nod.  “Several agree with him; a couple have offered other viable options; a couple want to write her off as a snot; and one....”

“Yes?” I prod when he doesn’t continue.  He sighs.

“One hasn’t said a word – not to offer an opinion or to participate in a discussion.  When the subject comes up, she leaves the room.  No excuses – she simply walks out.  She’s actually caused them to stop talking about it when she’s around... mostly because the two or three who think Arianna is just being a snot told the rest she didn’t need to be hurt anymore and their conversation was doing just that.”

My eyebrows fly into my hairline.  “When did that happen and why am I just now hearing about it?”

“About a week ago.  And because I just now put the pieces together... mostly because of Jacob’s actions tonight.”

“I’m not following.”

“I only got bits of that original conversation – the one where they asked the group to please stop talking about Arianna.  But after what Jacob said to you tonight – they still care... even the ones who are angry or discontent with Arianna.  They want things to go back to what it was before Malcolm was dropped into the middle of their lives, so to speak – when they were all still a family.”

“Even Eli?”

“She verified it?”  He glances at the door.  “She actually told you?”

“She told me enough.”

Caleb shakes his head.  “She’s hard to get a read on, Chief.  Keeps her own counsel and minds her business... plays things real close to the vest if you know what I mean.”

“My father was a Marine, Caleb.  I do indeed.”

He clears his throat.  “I guess you would at that.”  He looks around the corridor, noting that the agents are beginning to position themselves for the beginning of the day, and glances at his watch again.  “I better get moving, Chief.  The kids are going to start waking up soon and we need to be ready for anything today.”

“I trust your gut, Caleb.  I’ll have the monitor nearby... just in case.”

“Thanks, Chief.”

I nod and re-enter my room, not at all surprised to see Arianna hasn’t stirred a bit.  Aside from being up well beyond normal curfew, that kind of emotional confession tends to be draining.  She could very well sleep until tomorrow morning. 

I slip off my shoes by the door and padded silently to the bedside table where the Pad still rests.  I slip my glasses on my face, then pick the Pad and the monitor up quietly and turn off the small lamp, letting my eyes adjust before I move to the rather uncomfortable chair that sits at an angle to the bed.  I sit down carefully, curling my legs up under me and placing the monitor on the nearby table.  Then I unlock the encrypted files I’ll need later for the meeting in front of the Committee with Arianna’s father and settle down to read.

************

Some time passes before the monitor crackles to life, and my attention is instantly removed from my files as I wait for Caleb to speak.  Instead he taps out a code he knows I’ll understand, and without hesitation I lock the files on the Pad and shift so my feet are touching the floor.

I curse my own stupidity – while curling up in this chair is the most comfortable way to sit, it is absolutely murder on my old bones when I have to unfold and actually pretend to some semblance of mobility.  I muffle the groan I feel clambering in the back of my throat as I shift forward, entirely conscious of the woman still sleeping in the bed across the room.  I pick up the monitor and click back a brief missive to Caleb, letting him know I got his message and I will be there as quickly as I can restore the circulation to my lower extremities.

I do a few stretches, sighing unconsciously when I feel the blood rushing towards my feet.  When the tingling subsides, I slowly stand and shuffle towards the door, knowing the movement will do more to promote blood flow than anything else.  I slide into my shoes with a grimace, then realize I left the locked Pad on the table.  I walk back the other way, glad that my steps are getting faster even if my brain cells are not.  I grab the Pad and head to the door, dropping the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign in place before closing the door softly behind me.

I exit, fully expecting to see Caleb waiting for me.  What I get is something totally different.

************

They are lined up like pins behind her, offering her their support while acceding to her authority as their chosen leader.  In front of me stand fourteen of the fifteen scientists I expect to be selected as the Alpha team on this project.  The fifteenth is still sleeping in the room I have just left.  I tuck the Pad under my elbow and lean against the door, casually crossing my ankles.  I’m not going to make this confrontational if I can avoid it.

“Where is she?” the blonde standing in front of the rest asks, her gray eyes boring into mine.  I don’t move my gaze from her but I can see Jacob just barely shake his head in my peripheral vision.  Before I can speak, she continues.  “She missed breakfast and she’s never missed breakfast with us... even when....”  She pauses but never drops her scrutiny.  “So where is she?”

I jerk my thumb at the door closed securely behind me.  “She was unwell last evening.  I’ve been up most of the night making sure she recovers.  She simply needs to rest now.”

“You’re certain?” she asks cautiously.

“I am.  I had Malcolm removed for being disruptive,” I watch as every one of them sighs in relief, “and brought her to my room where she fell asleep after a bit of care.  She should be able to return to the interview process tomorrow as scheduled.”

Eli stares at me hard for another long moment before turning around and facing her teammates.  I watch as she meets each set of eyes, waiting for a signal from all of them before turning back to me with a nod.  “Thank you, Ms. Wellesly.  We were... concerned.”

“I can appreciate that.  Thank you for coming to me.”

“Mary?” This from Jacob and I turn in his direction with an arched brow.  “If Arianna is not doing interviews today, does that mean the rest of us have the day off as well?” giving me a cocky smirk that reminds me so much of my Marine son.

“You’d like to think it works that way, wouldn’t you, Jacob?” I ask with a smile as I push off the door.  “Unfortunately, it doesn’t.  Each of you still have your interviews to complete though I’ve been informed they’ve been pushed back an hour to accommodate some other business the Committee needs to address.  So you’ve got an extra hour to rest if you’d like.  The team will make sure you’re up and ready to go at the appropriate time.”

“Awesome!” Jacob exclaims and I wonder how he could possibly be from this planet using such antiquated expressions.  On the other hand, it does seem to suit him so I just smile.  He looks around at his companions.  “Anyone up for a game of Nuke ‘em Duke ‘em?”

The boys almost as a singular entity head towards Jacob’s room.  By unspoken consent, the girls turn and head in the opposite direction.  Only Eli remains separate.  Before I can speak, she looks at me – her eyes sad and her smile melancholy.

“Hey Eli!” one of the other girls shouts down the hallway.  “You coming?”

She shakes her head and waves them on.  “Not now.  Maybe later.”  They nod as a group, as though they’d been expecting that sort of reply from her.  Then they continue on their way, disappearing into one of the rooms at the end of the corridor.  She waits until she hears the door close behind them, then turns to me.

“Can we talk?”

I nod and follow her down the hall.


Epilogue

Her room, like mine, is pretty standard for a luxury hotel – bed, chairs, table, nice sized closet and a decent bathroom.  The only personal property I can see from my place at the door is her Pad that is on the bedside table much like mine had been.  Otherwise you wouldn’t know someone was occupying the room unless you opened the closet door.

She shuts the door behind me and motions me further into the room.  I feel like an intruder, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Arianna was asleep in my room, I would have insisted we meet there instead.  These kids deserve whatever privacy can be afforded them, and this to me is an unnecessary invasion... even if she did invite me.  She chuckles as she walks around me and drops onto the end of the bed. 

“You can come in, you know.  I did ask you to be here.”

“Right... sorry.  It’s been a long night.”

“Yeah... about that.  What’s really going on?”  I tilt my head in question and she stares at me for a long moment, trying to gauge my honesty.  “Is Arianna really sick?”

“Arianna was unwell last evening, but I think we’ve resolved that issue.  A little rest should take care of any lingering problems.”

“I don’t believe you.”  She holds up her hands.  “Oh... I believe Arianna is still sleeping, and that she’s doing so in your room for whatever reason.  I even believe that you removed the ass known as Malcolm.  But something about this whole story is off, and I want to know the truth.”

“Why?”

She blinks at me – gray eyes showing her confusion as blonde eyebrows crease her forehead.  “Excuse me?”

“Why do you think something is off?  Why do you want to know the truth?  From what I have gathered in my observations of you two, you’re not friends.  You’re barely colleagues at this point.”  Truth as far as it went.  But my actual observations and what I know as truth are two completely different things.  “So why do you care?  Shouldn’t it be enough that she’s being taken care of and should resume her normal schedule again tomorrow?”

She glares at me, but the sadness in her expression undermines whatever threat she is trying to convey.  Finally she speaks softly – so low I almost miss her words.  “Can I trust you?”

“Eli, I know things about each of you that you probably don’t know yourselves – things I haven’t shared with anyone and never will.  But only you can decide if I’m worthy of your trust or not.”

She stares at me again, studying me, and I keep my eyes on hers, allowing her scrutiny.  Eventually she nods to herself as though she’s reached a decision.  “I’ll make a deal with you,” she says at last in her soft, husky voice.  “I’ll tell you why, but then you have to level with me.  You have to tell me the truth about Arianna.”

I can see the clock behind her and realize it’s going to be a bit of a race to get this done before I need to go meet with the Committee.  But at least I will be going armed with both sides of the story.  I nod.

“All right, Princess.  You’ve got yourself a deal.”  The look of startlement on her face means I’ve got her attention.  This is turning out to be a hell of a night.

END PART ONE
12/11-01/12

Storm Warning