Disclaimer: None of the characters herein belong to me - seriously. They belong to Fox/20th Century Fox Productions and were created and produced by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan. However I can honestly say that story is all mine, so.... If you’re still reading my stuff at this point, you pretty well know what you’re getting into even though this is a little different than anything else I have written. If you don’t have an open mind, why exactly are you still reading? However, if you do read it and you find something you think needs disclaiming, you are still more than welcome to let me know. It won’t change anything, but it may make you feel better. Ugliness will earn you a smack to the back of your head.
Thanks: To Phil for beta reading this for me. She picked up all kinds of dropped letters and missed quotation marks because Pink and Fluffy tend to leave a trail of them. And she did her very best to make sure I got the details right because I went into this one with even less canon knowledge than I did the first time I wrote SVU. Her diligence is greatly appreciated. All errors belong strictly to me.
Author’s Notes: I only watched Seasons 1 & 2 of Glee so there may be some mistakes in the details... especially from Season 4 because neither of us suffered through that debacle. We did our best to get them right, but some stuff may have slipped through the cracks. I would like it noted that I have never cared for the character of Finn Hudson, and once he made a simpering idiot out of Rachel Berry – who at the beginning was such a strong, determined, fierce character - I was done. However, since I imagine they are going to turn Cory’s death into a PSA for Finn who was supposedly finally getting his life on track, I decided to write this. This is what I would like to see them do for Finn’s character in the wake of Cory Monteith’s untimely death.
Unfulfilled Promise
By D
“Hey Bitches!”
Blue eyes met brown and two heads shook in tandem as they grimaced at the address. Then the young man continued reading aloud.
“Listen to the machine and let me know. Me and Quinn are in if you guys are up to it.
Laters,
Tana.”
Kurt looked up from the paper they’d found taped the door and met Rachel’s eyes. “Well, my curiosity is piqued at any rate. Shall we go see what has our erstwhile roomie so excited she felt the need to leave us a note on the door instead of inside?”
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose. Things that made Santana excited tended to be nerve wracking for Rachel – fun and thrilling, but terrifying just the same. She looked up and met Kurt’s twinkling eyes, then smiled and nodded as she accepted his proffered hand. “We shall.”
He unlocked the door and gestured her in, then followed quickly, dropping his messenger bag beside the door as Rachel continued into the loft. She dropped her bags onto the futon and turned to the phone they’d installed as an emergency measure. Too many times they had tried to reach one another at home and failed because of phones charging or simply out of hearing range. The analog device and machine gave them another way to contact one another and a little extra feeling of security.
The light was a steady red, indicating a message that had already been heard. Rachel looked at Kurt who nodded as he crossed to the kitchen area. Rachel reached over and pushed the button, jaw dropping and eyes widening when she heard the voice.
“Hi, guys. It’s um... it’s Finn.”
Kurt jerked his head out of the refrigerator and met her eyes in shock. He absently shut the door and moved to stand beside her, clutching at her hand. They hadn’t heard hide nor hair from Finn Hudson in months - for Kurt, not since Finn had promptly disappeared after his fight with Will Schuester following the non-wedding. Rachel had spoken with him briefly over the phone right before her audition, but that had been the extent of her contact. They were so busy gawking at each other in shock that they missed the message, and it wasn’t until the ‘beep’ brought their attention back to the fact that they were hearing from Finn again. Kurt kept Rachel’s hand clasped in his as he leaned forward and pushed the button once more.
“Hi, guys. It’s um... it’s Finn.
I know it’s been a while. I had some things I needed to do… and um... yeah, um.... Anyway, I know this is kinda late notice and everything, but I was wondering if you were gonna come to Lima for Thanksgiving. I um... I’ve got a band together and we’ve got our first gig that Saturday night. I’d really kinda like it if my friends could kinda be there and um....
I’ve um... everyone else is gonna try. Puck said he’d be there with Artie; Mercedes is coming and so are Mike and Tina. I tried to reach Quinn but her phone was out of service or something. I left her a message on Facebook but if one of you could let her know...? She’s the only other Gleek I haven’t talked to.
Anyway, I um... I hope you guys can make it. It won’t be the same without you... all of you. Besides, my band - we’re really good, you know? I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
There was a stretch of silence, then.... “All right... yeah - that was all I had to say. Hope to see you soon. Yeah. Bye.” There was a click followed by the ‘beep’ of the answering machine and then the only noise in the room was the white noise of the refrigerator compressor humming and two sets of breathing. Finally Kurt and Rachel turned to one another and collapsed on the couch, leaning against each other in an awkward show of support. Kurt cleared his throat.
“So what do you think?” cutting his eyes in her direction so he could study her profile.
“Didn’t you have plans with...?”
“To see the Parade? Yes, I did,” admitted carefully. “But I think this is more important. He’s kind of my brother, you know?”
“I know,” Rachel smiled softly and patted his knee.
“But...?” covering her hand with his.
Rachel ran her free hand through her hair – wanting to pace but loath to give up the comfort Kurt provided. “I love Finn, you know? He was so many of my firsts - my first real friend; my first boyfriend; my first love and my first lover.” She paused and her gaze grew distant. Eventually, Kurt felt the need to prompt her.
“But?”
“But we’re not the same people we were even a year ago. Certainly not who we were in high school.”
“Of course we’re not, Sweetie. Neither is Finn.” He frowned in confusion when Rachel shook her head. “What am I missing?”
She sighed. “Sometimes I get the feeling that Finn expects us to end up together – you know... after I get New York and Broadway out of my system,” rolling her eyes and smiling slightly when Kurt did the same. “New York and Broadway are never going to be out of my system, Kurt – they’re part of who I am! And I’m just not sure me and Finn being together is going to happen anymore.” She sighed again. “I’m not sure I want it to.”
Kurt nodded. “I completely get where you’re coming from, Rachel, but where are you going with this? He’s not asking you to come home and marry him. He’s asking all of the original New Directions members to show him some support. You don’t need to be in love with him to do that.”
Rachel held Kurt’s eyes for a long moment before nodding decisively. “You’re right. He’s the only one out of all of us who stayed in Lima. Maybe with all of us rallying around him, he might be able to find his own path out.”
“Or at least figure out what makes him happy.” Rachel more than Kurt knew some of what had happened in Lima between Finn and Will, but Kurt knew enough to recognize that Finn was still searching for his path in life. Neither of them knew of his aspirations to become a teacher.
“Right,” Rachel agreed. “So we’re doing this?”
Kurt nodded. “We’re doing this.” He looked around nervously. “Now we just need to tell Santana.” Rachel’s eyes widened, but she remained prudently silent.
************
As the only real restaurant in Lima, Breadstix was regularly busy. And on weekend nights, it was almost insufferable. With that in mind, Rachel contacted each member of the original New Directions to find out if they were attending and if they were bringing anyone. To her surprise, everyone except Brittany – who was doing an internship program at CERN - and Matt – who was currently stationed in Afghanistan - was going to Lima to see Finn’s band and only one of the members were bringing a guest. Sam was tagging along with Mercedes – just as friends, Mercedes insisted. Kurt had considered asking Blaine, but things between them were still a little awkward and he wanted to enjoy the time with old friends without any drama or the pressure of being part of a possible couple.
Once she had a firm number, Rachel called her dad Hiram and asked him to take care of reserving one of the small alcove areas in the restaurant. It was semi-private and would allow them to put the tables together so they could sit together as a group. Then it was simply a matter of making arrangements to be out of the City for a very few days.
************
Mike and Tina were the first to arrive. Although they were no longer a couple, they were still friends, and neither of them wanted to go to the restaurant alone. So they had made plans to meet there and go in together... only to find out they were the first to arrive.
They weren’t alone long though. They had barely been seated and given their drink order when they heard Mercedes squeal in excitement before leading Sam through the crowded establishment to their reserved area. “Oh my God – it’s so good to see you guys!!” she exclaimed as she hugged first Tina, then Mike. Sam followed suit and then they seated themselves. But before they could begin catching up, Puck wheeled Artie expertly through the maze of tables and the hugs started up again.
“Probably shouldn’t sit down,” Puck commented as he got a hug from Mercedes. “I saw Santana’s car turning into the parking lot as we came in. Pretty sure she’s got everybody else that’s coming.”
“I still have such a hard time thinking about Quinn and Santana being friends with Rachel,” Artie said. “I know there was a little different dynamic between all of you guys the last part of your senior year,” he acknowledged while looking at Mercedes, “but for three years....”
“Yeah,” Mercedes agreed softly. “But after Quinn’s accident... And hey, look at us now!”
“So how are things going, Hot Mama?” Puck asked with only a slight leer. “When do you start touring?”
She didn’t get to answer. Instead Santana’s sultry voice cut in. “Hey Bitches! What up?”
“You know, Santana – we all know that Lima Heights Adjacent is the most affluent area of town. And I’m pretty sure your ghetto sound isn’t that impressive in New York City,” Tina commented drolly. Everyone turned and looked at her in shock and surprise, but she was too busy holding Santana’s gaze to acknowledge them. Santana narrowed her dark eyes and clenched her jaw, but Tina didn’t flinch. Santana leered. “Damn, Girl – you up and grew a pair while I was gone! I like that in a woman!” waggling her eyebrows and grinning cheekily. Tina blanched but kept her eyes locked on Santana.
“Too bad I don’t swing that way,” she offered with the barest hint of a smirk.
“Burn!” Puck crowed before covering his man parts with both hands and ducking down behind Artie.
“Santana, are you causing trouble again?” Kurt asked as he entered the room.
“When have I ever caused trouble?”
“When have you not?” Mercedes responded, snapping her fingers and grinning as she took Santana in her arms. In a moment, she moved on to Kurt and yet another round of hugs ensued. “So where’s Rachel? And Quinn?”
“Quinn is right here,” came the answer from the alcove entry, causing a surge to flow toward her. Hazel eyes widened, but she gamely responded to each and every hug and greeting, realizing she had missed these people more than she dreamed possible. “Hey, guys!” laughing and crying at the real affection she could feel flowing from them. “Rachel’s in the ladies’. Someone,” with a glare in Santana’s direction, “rolled the window down on the way over.”
“What?? It was hot in the car – I was just cooling things off a little.”
“Next time just turn on the air. Santana,” Rachel said dryly, patting her hair as she entered the space where all her friends were gathered. Everyone but Rachel, Kurt and Quinn was taken by surprise when Santana hugged Rachel briefly from behind.
“Not near as much fun for me, Midget.” Before anyone could comment, she moved to the opening and signaled for a waitress. Everyone moved to welcome Rachel and collect hugs before taking their seats around the table.
The waitress stepped into the alcove and introduced herself, then set about collecting drink orders. Santana commanded that breadsticks be brought to the table and kept coming. Rachel and Quinn exchanged eye rolls with Kurt, and everyone turned their attention to looking over a menu that hadn’t changed in years.
By the time the breadsticks and drinks were brought to the table, everyone was ready to order. Only when they were done and the waitress gone did they sit back to catch up with one another.
************
“So where’s Finn?” Sam asked. “I kinda thought....”
Puck shook his head. “When I talked to him....” He closed one eye and scrunched up his forehead in thought. “Thanksgiving, I guess it was, so Thursday – he told me he’d meet us at the club. Him and the band have some sort of ritual they do before every practice and he didn’t want to screw up the gig by skipping it.”
Kurt nodded. “He told me the same thing. He was hoping everyone would stay around after the show and hang out a while.”
“As long as we get a few hours’ sleep before we head back, I’m game,” Santana agreed.
“Wait... you all drove together?” Mercedes asked, motioning between the four.
“Yes.”
“In the same car?”
“Yes.”
“And nobody....” She blinked rapidly and shook her head. “That’s amazing.”
“So many things are,” Quinn replied with a smirk. “So what’s everyone up to? I feel like I’m completely out of the loop anymore... holed up in New Haven by myself.”
“Well, maybe if you did something besides study all the time....” Santana snarked.
“How do you like Yale, Quinn?” Mike cut in before she and Santana could start sniping at each other.
She smiled. “I love it – I really do. I fit there.”
“I know what you mean,” he agreed. “I feel that way about Joffery. I’m having such a great time. I’ve even done some choreography for a couple local productions,” grinning when the others clapped their approval, then wincing when Tina slapped him.
“You didn’t tell me that!”
“I’m telling you now,” was Mike’s rejoinder.
“What about you, Tina?” Kurt asked.
“Columbia. Career management.”
“You’re in New York?” from Artie.
“Yeah. I got into Columbia on a scholarship. I like that I can pursue bit parts in the theatre world while still getting a real business degree I can put to use.”
“Wait – you’re studying to become a talent agent?” Mercedes asked. Tina nodded. “Girl, we need to talk. I could be your first client.”
“Still having creative differences?” Kurt asked.
“Yeah,” Mercedes replied glumly. “They want me to do things....” She shook her head. “Their vision and mine don’t seem to mesh very well. I know I could really do this if I had the opportunity. But they want me to sell my soul for the chance and I don’t think I’m willing to do that.”
“You shouldn’t have to, Hot Mama,” Puck said. “Be true to yourself. You’ll be happier that way.” Dead silence. “Whaaaaat?” he whined, looking around at everyone else staring at him.
“That was pretty profound, Puck,” Kurt acknowledged with a hint of surprise.
“Hey, I can do deep!” scowling when Kurt and the rest rolled their eyes. “Not what I meant,” he grumbled. “Though that’s true too,” said with a lascivious smirk and waggling eyebrows.
“Annnnnd he’s back,” Kurt mumbled.
“You should have let us know,” Rachel insisted with a pointed look in an attempt to change the subject as she met Tina’s eyes.
“It’s only been a couple months, Rachel. I’m still trying to settle in – everything is so different.”
“It is, and I completely understand. It can be overwhelming. But the support of friends can make a huge difference in your adjustment. We’ll work something out. Maybe Quinn can come down from New Haven and we can have our own glee club get togethers – do a karaoke night or dinner or something.”
“Munchkin might have a point,” Santana conceded. “Seems like most of us have migrated to New York.” She gave Quinn a look. “Or at least the Northeast.”
“Wait... who else is there besides Rachel and Quinn?” Mike asked. “And Tina apparently.”
“Kurt and I are both in our second year at NYADA. Santana is working and taking some extension dance classes there as well,” Rachel said as she ticked off points on her fingers. “Artie is at the Brooklyn Film Institute. And of course Quinn is at Yale.”
“I’m still here rooming with Finn at the University, but I was in Brooklyn with Artie most of the summer,” Puck offered nonchalantly. All eyes looked his way again, then they turned to Artie. He shrugged.
“I got admitted to an early projects track. Puck and I worked on it together – he’s been co-writing with me on the screenplay and I’m the director and producer. It’s actually got a chance to make it into some of the indie film festivals next year.”
Cheers rose up from the group as a whole, garnering the attention of the rest of the restaurant, but the kids didn’t even notice as they moved around to congratulate Artie. Then their waitress and several others appeared in the doorway and the process of sorting through everyone’s order began.
************
When the first pangs of hunger had been sated and eating had slowed, attention turned to Sam via Santana. “So what about you, Trouty Mouth?” hoping she wasn’t going to hear he and Brittany were an item again. Despite the fact that she knew she and Brittany were over, she couldn’t turn off the feelings she still had and suspected she always would to some degree. And she definitely didn’t want someone as brilliant as she’d always known Brittany was to be tied to someone as lightweight as Sam.
Sam shook his head at her address. He knew there was no love lost between him and Santana for a number of reasons – not the least of which was Brittany - and he even sympathized with her feelings just a little bit. Rachel reached over and lightly slapped Santana for the name calling - pouting when Santana glared at her, then grinning when Santana winked and turned her attention back to Sam. “Nothing nearly as exciting as the rest of you, I’m afraid,” he replied as he glanced around the room. “I’m a waiter at the Capitol Grille in Nashville. Most nights after work I play at one of the local honky tonks on the Row. I’ve met a few famous people and even played back-up on a couple albums, but that about the extent of it at the moment.”
“Not a bad place to be though,” Puck said. “You writing?”
Sam shook his head. “Not recently. I have the occasional bout of inspiration, but those seem to be few and far between. Most days I’m too tired to focus.” He chuckled. “I’m amassing some serious material to pull from though when I finally get time and energy and focus all together in the same place.”
“I feel that way,” Puck acknowledged. “You’d think writing would be a breeze when there’s a story there to tell, but some days....” He just shook his head.
“Puck?” Kurt broke into the silence. “What about Finn? You said you were rooming with him at the University here, but what’s he doing?”
“You don’t know?”
Kurt shook his head. “No. The first time I heard from him in months was when he called the loft to invite us all here for this gig. And except for Thanksgiving dinner – which was mostly us eating and watching a little football with my dad before he took off again - I’ve hardly even seen him in passing. He’s been real busy practicing with his band for this gig.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty stoked about this. He thinks they have a real shot at going somewhere.”
“Do they?” from Santana.
“Maybe,” Puck shrugged. “I haven’t been around to hear them much.”
“How come you’re not playing with them, man?” Sam asked. “You play a pretty wicked guitar.”
“Right?” just a little smugly. “But this is something Finn got up to while I was in Brooklyn. Not something a brother crashes his way into, ya know?” Nods around the table.
“So what’s he doing in school, Puck?”
“Studying for his teaching certificate. Said he was tired of Sue Sylvester using that to discredit him and the hard work he put into making Glee work while Schue was gone.” He shrugged. “He really seems to like it.”
Mike shook his head. “Never thought Finn Hudson would ever choose teaching as a profession. He hated school aside from sports and Glee.”
“I think he wanted to emulate Mr. Schue,” Tina offered quietly. “Schue seemed to be mentoring him until their falling out. Though they did eventually make up – that’s when Finn decided to get his certificate.”
It got quiet then... everyone afraid to broach the big pink elephant that still remained undiscussed in the room. Everyone was curious, but they all firmly believed that if Rachel had indeed gotten the part, it would have been the very first thing they’d have heard about once they were all gathered together. Finally Mercedes bit the bullet, hoping Rachel would understand she was truly interested and not simply taking a shot at her. “What about you, Rachel? Mr. Schue shared with us about you being one of the top three choices for the role of Fanny Brice in the Funny Girl revival, but we never heard anything more about it and I know it is scheduled to start previews in the spring. Did you get the part or...?”
Quinn, Santana and Kurt all exchanged looks while Rachel directed her gaze to the hands clasped in her lap. For a moment there was silence as they waited for her answer, then she started to reply... only to be interrupted by Kurt.
“Dad?”
“Mr. Schue?”
Ten heads swiveled towards the door where Burt Hummel and Will Schuester stood. Burt had removed his trademark ball cap, holding it in front of him as he gripped his wrist with the other hand. Will had his hands clasped together and pressed to his lips. There were no tears on either man’s face though it was evident they had both been crying. Kurt rose and went to Burt immediately, trying to pull him out of the alcove so they could speak privately. Burt took a deep breath and shook his head.
“No, Son. I think you all need to hear this together.”
Kurt furrowed his brow and looked around the room, a feeling of dread coiling in the pit of his belly. “Okay, Dad. Do you want to sit down or...?”
“No. I need to get back to Carole.” He shook his head and cleared his throat before Kurt could question him. “We just got the news about an hour ago. Finn died early this morning.” He held up a hand although no one moved to do more than gasp. “He became a volunteer firefighter over the summer and there was a five alarm call late last night. He died helping put out a fire at a meth lab. It exploded – he died instantly.” There was no sound beyond the extraneous sounds of the restaurant flowing around them... not even breathing, then Rachel jumped from her place and rushed out of the alcove towards the restroom. Quinn followed her without hesitation or looking back. Burt cleared his throat again. “I don’t have any more details at the moment, but I need to get back to Carole.” He looked at Kurt. “She’s devastated.”
“I’ll go back with you, Dad.”
“I’ll stay here until the kids are ready to leave,” Schuester said almost immediately. “You’ll let us know...?”
“Yes, though it’ll probably be a few days. I need to....” Kurt took Burt’s hand in his.
“Come on, Dad. I’ll drive you home.” Then they left without a backwards glance. Will looked around the room at the kids who were completely stunned and shell shocked by the news. He wasn’t at all surprised when Santana stood.
“I’ma go check on my girls and we’re gonna get outta here.” She looked around the room. “I expect you guys to keep in touch... all of you,” giving everyone including Sam a fierce glare before spinning on her heel and exiting the alcove. They watched her enter the ladies’ room before Mercedes stood, causing the rest to do the same. Will tilted his head at her in question.
“C’mon, Mr. Schue. Let’s take this somewhere more private – somewhere we can be ourselves and grieve. Let’s go to the one place we all call home.”
Schuester nodded and led the way out of the restaurant and over to the choir room at McKinley High.
************
“Rachel?” Quinn called out softly as she pushed open the restroom door. She stepped inside to find Rachel leaning against a sink staring sightlessly into the mirror. “Hey.” Brown eyes refocused on hazel and Rachel turned to lean against the sink though her knuckles were white where they grasped the edges. “C’mere.” Rachel shook her head and Quinn walked closer – not quite within touching distance and just out of her personal space. She opened her arms. “Rach....”
The soft invitation was all Rachel needed and she flung herself into Quinn’s arms. Her sobs were deep and quiet and tears slid silently down Quinn’s face in sympathy. She heard the door open and lifted her eyes to meet Santana’s in the mirror. They didn’t exchange any words, but Santana nodded her understanding of Quinn’s silent directive and leaned against the closed door and waited.
After a few moments Rachel’s sobs lessened and she pulled away from Quinn enough to meet her eyes through her tears. “What am I supposed to do now, Quinn?” Quinn frowned and Rachel shook her head and dropped her gaze to Quinn’s collarbone as her lips trembled. “He was always supposed to be there, Quinn. Finn was always supposed to be there for me... even if we weren’t together anymore! He was my friend - he wasn’t supposed to leave me here alone!”
“Oh, Rach... you’re not alone. And you never will be as long as you have all of us.”
“He broke his promise to me. He promised I wouldn’t be disappointed and now....” She sighed tremulously and her eyes watered. “How can I trust that you won’t disappoint me too?”
“Because we’re going to work on it together and trust each other to get it right.”
Rachel looked up and met sincerity in Quinn’s stare. “I loved him, Quinn. He was my first... everything really. I’m not really sure....”
“And he loved you. And you’ll always keep that love in your heart - just like I will and Kurt and Puck and maybe even Santana a little bit – even when you fall in love again. Your life isn’t over, Rach. Finn wouldn’t want it to be.”
“Yeah, Munchkin. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but we’ll be with you all the way. And one day you’ll be able to look back and remember Finn without it hurting like it does right now. For now though,” said as she pushed herself away from the door, “we’ll mourn and remember.”
“I’m going to miss him.”
“We all will, Sweetie,” Quinn assured her as she tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind Rachel’s ear before kissing her forehead. She accepted the paper towel Santana was pressing into her hand and gently wiped Rachel’s eyes and face. “C’mon. Let’s go mourn with our friends and then maybe we can find a way to celebrate Finn’s life.”
“I’d like that,” Rachel said with a tiny, watery smile as she stepped out of Quinn’s embrace. Quinn extended her hand and Rachel accepted it with alacrity, squeezing it lightly to acknowledge her gratitude and holding on for dear life. Santana wrapped an arm around her shoulders briefly, but moved away to open the door for them before Rachel could reciprocate. Then they walked out together, intent on joining their friends in mourning the unexpected death and celebrating the life of one of their own.
THE END
07/13
Thanks: To Phil for beta reading this for me. She picked up all kinds of dropped letters and missed quotation marks because Pink and Fluffy tend to leave a trail of them. And she did her very best to make sure I got the details right because I went into this one with even less canon knowledge than I did the first time I wrote SVU. Her diligence is greatly appreciated. All errors belong strictly to me.
Author’s Notes: I only watched Seasons 1 & 2 of Glee so there may be some mistakes in the details... especially from Season 4 because neither of us suffered through that debacle. We did our best to get them right, but some stuff may have slipped through the cracks. I would like it noted that I have never cared for the character of Finn Hudson, and once he made a simpering idiot out of Rachel Berry – who at the beginning was such a strong, determined, fierce character - I was done. However, since I imagine they are going to turn Cory’s death into a PSA for Finn who was supposedly finally getting his life on track, I decided to write this. This is what I would like to see them do for Finn’s character in the wake of Cory Monteith’s untimely death.
Unfulfilled Promise
By D
“Hey Bitches!”
Blue eyes met brown and two heads shook in tandem as they grimaced at the address. Then the young man continued reading aloud.
“Listen to the machine and let me know. Me and Quinn are in if you guys are up to it.
Laters,
Tana.”
Kurt looked up from the paper they’d found taped the door and met Rachel’s eyes. “Well, my curiosity is piqued at any rate. Shall we go see what has our erstwhile roomie so excited she felt the need to leave us a note on the door instead of inside?”
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose. Things that made Santana excited tended to be nerve wracking for Rachel – fun and thrilling, but terrifying just the same. She looked up and met Kurt’s twinkling eyes, then smiled and nodded as she accepted his proffered hand. “We shall.”
He unlocked the door and gestured her in, then followed quickly, dropping his messenger bag beside the door as Rachel continued into the loft. She dropped her bags onto the futon and turned to the phone they’d installed as an emergency measure. Too many times they had tried to reach one another at home and failed because of phones charging or simply out of hearing range. The analog device and machine gave them another way to contact one another and a little extra feeling of security.
The light was a steady red, indicating a message that had already been heard. Rachel looked at Kurt who nodded as he crossed to the kitchen area. Rachel reached over and pushed the button, jaw dropping and eyes widening when she heard the voice.
“Hi, guys. It’s um... it’s Finn.”
Kurt jerked his head out of the refrigerator and met her eyes in shock. He absently shut the door and moved to stand beside her, clutching at her hand. They hadn’t heard hide nor hair from Finn Hudson in months - for Kurt, not since Finn had promptly disappeared after his fight with Will Schuester following the non-wedding. Rachel had spoken with him briefly over the phone right before her audition, but that had been the extent of her contact. They were so busy gawking at each other in shock that they missed the message, and it wasn’t until the ‘beep’ brought their attention back to the fact that they were hearing from Finn again. Kurt kept Rachel’s hand clasped in his as he leaned forward and pushed the button once more.
“Hi, guys. It’s um... it’s Finn.
I know it’s been a while. I had some things I needed to do… and um... yeah, um.... Anyway, I know this is kinda late notice and everything, but I was wondering if you were gonna come to Lima for Thanksgiving. I um... I’ve got a band together and we’ve got our first gig that Saturday night. I’d really kinda like it if my friends could kinda be there and um....
I’ve um... everyone else is gonna try. Puck said he’d be there with Artie; Mercedes is coming and so are Mike and Tina. I tried to reach Quinn but her phone was out of service or something. I left her a message on Facebook but if one of you could let her know...? She’s the only other Gleek I haven’t talked to.
Anyway, I um... I hope you guys can make it. It won’t be the same without you... all of you. Besides, my band - we’re really good, you know? I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
There was a stretch of silence, then.... “All right... yeah - that was all I had to say. Hope to see you soon. Yeah. Bye.” There was a click followed by the ‘beep’ of the answering machine and then the only noise in the room was the white noise of the refrigerator compressor humming and two sets of breathing. Finally Kurt and Rachel turned to one another and collapsed on the couch, leaning against each other in an awkward show of support. Kurt cleared his throat.
“So what do you think?” cutting his eyes in her direction so he could study her profile.
“Didn’t you have plans with...?”
“To see the Parade? Yes, I did,” admitted carefully. “But I think this is more important. He’s kind of my brother, you know?”
“I know,” Rachel smiled softly and patted his knee.
“But...?” covering her hand with his.
Rachel ran her free hand through her hair – wanting to pace but loath to give up the comfort Kurt provided. “I love Finn, you know? He was so many of my firsts - my first real friend; my first boyfriend; my first love and my first lover.” She paused and her gaze grew distant. Eventually, Kurt felt the need to prompt her.
“But?”
“But we’re not the same people we were even a year ago. Certainly not who we were in high school.”
“Of course we’re not, Sweetie. Neither is Finn.” He frowned in confusion when Rachel shook her head. “What am I missing?”
She sighed. “Sometimes I get the feeling that Finn expects us to end up together – you know... after I get New York and Broadway out of my system,” rolling her eyes and smiling slightly when Kurt did the same. “New York and Broadway are never going to be out of my system, Kurt – they’re part of who I am! And I’m just not sure me and Finn being together is going to happen anymore.” She sighed again. “I’m not sure I want it to.”
Kurt nodded. “I completely get where you’re coming from, Rachel, but where are you going with this? He’s not asking you to come home and marry him. He’s asking all of the original New Directions members to show him some support. You don’t need to be in love with him to do that.”
Rachel held Kurt’s eyes for a long moment before nodding decisively. “You’re right. He’s the only one out of all of us who stayed in Lima. Maybe with all of us rallying around him, he might be able to find his own path out.”
“Or at least figure out what makes him happy.” Rachel more than Kurt knew some of what had happened in Lima between Finn and Will, but Kurt knew enough to recognize that Finn was still searching for his path in life. Neither of them knew of his aspirations to become a teacher.
“Right,” Rachel agreed. “So we’re doing this?”
Kurt nodded. “We’re doing this.” He looked around nervously. “Now we just need to tell Santana.” Rachel’s eyes widened, but she remained prudently silent.
************
As the only real restaurant in Lima, Breadstix was regularly busy. And on weekend nights, it was almost insufferable. With that in mind, Rachel contacted each member of the original New Directions to find out if they were attending and if they were bringing anyone. To her surprise, everyone except Brittany – who was doing an internship program at CERN - and Matt – who was currently stationed in Afghanistan - was going to Lima to see Finn’s band and only one of the members were bringing a guest. Sam was tagging along with Mercedes – just as friends, Mercedes insisted. Kurt had considered asking Blaine, but things between them were still a little awkward and he wanted to enjoy the time with old friends without any drama or the pressure of being part of a possible couple.
Once she had a firm number, Rachel called her dad Hiram and asked him to take care of reserving one of the small alcove areas in the restaurant. It was semi-private and would allow them to put the tables together so they could sit together as a group. Then it was simply a matter of making arrangements to be out of the City for a very few days.
************
Mike and Tina were the first to arrive. Although they were no longer a couple, they were still friends, and neither of them wanted to go to the restaurant alone. So they had made plans to meet there and go in together... only to find out they were the first to arrive.
They weren’t alone long though. They had barely been seated and given their drink order when they heard Mercedes squeal in excitement before leading Sam through the crowded establishment to their reserved area. “Oh my God – it’s so good to see you guys!!” she exclaimed as she hugged first Tina, then Mike. Sam followed suit and then they seated themselves. But before they could begin catching up, Puck wheeled Artie expertly through the maze of tables and the hugs started up again.
“Probably shouldn’t sit down,” Puck commented as he got a hug from Mercedes. “I saw Santana’s car turning into the parking lot as we came in. Pretty sure she’s got everybody else that’s coming.”
“I still have such a hard time thinking about Quinn and Santana being friends with Rachel,” Artie said. “I know there was a little different dynamic between all of you guys the last part of your senior year,” he acknowledged while looking at Mercedes, “but for three years....”
“Yeah,” Mercedes agreed softly. “But after Quinn’s accident... And hey, look at us now!”
“So how are things going, Hot Mama?” Puck asked with only a slight leer. “When do you start touring?”
She didn’t get to answer. Instead Santana’s sultry voice cut in. “Hey Bitches! What up?”
“You know, Santana – we all know that Lima Heights Adjacent is the most affluent area of town. And I’m pretty sure your ghetto sound isn’t that impressive in New York City,” Tina commented drolly. Everyone turned and looked at her in shock and surprise, but she was too busy holding Santana’s gaze to acknowledge them. Santana narrowed her dark eyes and clenched her jaw, but Tina didn’t flinch. Santana leered. “Damn, Girl – you up and grew a pair while I was gone! I like that in a woman!” waggling her eyebrows and grinning cheekily. Tina blanched but kept her eyes locked on Santana.
“Too bad I don’t swing that way,” she offered with the barest hint of a smirk.
“Burn!” Puck crowed before covering his man parts with both hands and ducking down behind Artie.
“Santana, are you causing trouble again?” Kurt asked as he entered the room.
“When have I ever caused trouble?”
“When have you not?” Mercedes responded, snapping her fingers and grinning as she took Santana in her arms. In a moment, she moved on to Kurt and yet another round of hugs ensued. “So where’s Rachel? And Quinn?”
“Quinn is right here,” came the answer from the alcove entry, causing a surge to flow toward her. Hazel eyes widened, but she gamely responded to each and every hug and greeting, realizing she had missed these people more than she dreamed possible. “Hey, guys!” laughing and crying at the real affection she could feel flowing from them. “Rachel’s in the ladies’. Someone,” with a glare in Santana’s direction, “rolled the window down on the way over.”
“What?? It was hot in the car – I was just cooling things off a little.”
“Next time just turn on the air. Santana,” Rachel said dryly, patting her hair as she entered the space where all her friends were gathered. Everyone but Rachel, Kurt and Quinn was taken by surprise when Santana hugged Rachel briefly from behind.
“Not near as much fun for me, Midget.” Before anyone could comment, she moved to the opening and signaled for a waitress. Everyone moved to welcome Rachel and collect hugs before taking their seats around the table.
The waitress stepped into the alcove and introduced herself, then set about collecting drink orders. Santana commanded that breadsticks be brought to the table and kept coming. Rachel and Quinn exchanged eye rolls with Kurt, and everyone turned their attention to looking over a menu that hadn’t changed in years.
By the time the breadsticks and drinks were brought to the table, everyone was ready to order. Only when they were done and the waitress gone did they sit back to catch up with one another.
************
“So where’s Finn?” Sam asked. “I kinda thought....”
Puck shook his head. “When I talked to him....” He closed one eye and scrunched up his forehead in thought. “Thanksgiving, I guess it was, so Thursday – he told me he’d meet us at the club. Him and the band have some sort of ritual they do before every practice and he didn’t want to screw up the gig by skipping it.”
Kurt nodded. “He told me the same thing. He was hoping everyone would stay around after the show and hang out a while.”
“As long as we get a few hours’ sleep before we head back, I’m game,” Santana agreed.
“Wait... you all drove together?” Mercedes asked, motioning between the four.
“Yes.”
“In the same car?”
“Yes.”
“And nobody....” She blinked rapidly and shook her head. “That’s amazing.”
“So many things are,” Quinn replied with a smirk. “So what’s everyone up to? I feel like I’m completely out of the loop anymore... holed up in New Haven by myself.”
“Well, maybe if you did something besides study all the time....” Santana snarked.
“How do you like Yale, Quinn?” Mike cut in before she and Santana could start sniping at each other.
She smiled. “I love it – I really do. I fit there.”
“I know what you mean,” he agreed. “I feel that way about Joffery. I’m having such a great time. I’ve even done some choreography for a couple local productions,” grinning when the others clapped their approval, then wincing when Tina slapped him.
“You didn’t tell me that!”
“I’m telling you now,” was Mike’s rejoinder.
“What about you, Tina?” Kurt asked.
“Columbia. Career management.”
“You’re in New York?” from Artie.
“Yeah. I got into Columbia on a scholarship. I like that I can pursue bit parts in the theatre world while still getting a real business degree I can put to use.”
“Wait – you’re studying to become a talent agent?” Mercedes asked. Tina nodded. “Girl, we need to talk. I could be your first client.”
“Still having creative differences?” Kurt asked.
“Yeah,” Mercedes replied glumly. “They want me to do things....” She shook her head. “Their vision and mine don’t seem to mesh very well. I know I could really do this if I had the opportunity. But they want me to sell my soul for the chance and I don’t think I’m willing to do that.”
“You shouldn’t have to, Hot Mama,” Puck said. “Be true to yourself. You’ll be happier that way.” Dead silence. “Whaaaaat?” he whined, looking around at everyone else staring at him.
“That was pretty profound, Puck,” Kurt acknowledged with a hint of surprise.
“Hey, I can do deep!” scowling when Kurt and the rest rolled their eyes. “Not what I meant,” he grumbled. “Though that’s true too,” said with a lascivious smirk and waggling eyebrows.
“Annnnnd he’s back,” Kurt mumbled.
“You should have let us know,” Rachel insisted with a pointed look in an attempt to change the subject as she met Tina’s eyes.
“It’s only been a couple months, Rachel. I’m still trying to settle in – everything is so different.”
“It is, and I completely understand. It can be overwhelming. But the support of friends can make a huge difference in your adjustment. We’ll work something out. Maybe Quinn can come down from New Haven and we can have our own glee club get togethers – do a karaoke night or dinner or something.”
“Munchkin might have a point,” Santana conceded. “Seems like most of us have migrated to New York.” She gave Quinn a look. “Or at least the Northeast.”
“Wait... who else is there besides Rachel and Quinn?” Mike asked. “And Tina apparently.”
“Kurt and I are both in our second year at NYADA. Santana is working and taking some extension dance classes there as well,” Rachel said as she ticked off points on her fingers. “Artie is at the Brooklyn Film Institute. And of course Quinn is at Yale.”
“I’m still here rooming with Finn at the University, but I was in Brooklyn with Artie most of the summer,” Puck offered nonchalantly. All eyes looked his way again, then they turned to Artie. He shrugged.
“I got admitted to an early projects track. Puck and I worked on it together – he’s been co-writing with me on the screenplay and I’m the director and producer. It’s actually got a chance to make it into some of the indie film festivals next year.”
Cheers rose up from the group as a whole, garnering the attention of the rest of the restaurant, but the kids didn’t even notice as they moved around to congratulate Artie. Then their waitress and several others appeared in the doorway and the process of sorting through everyone’s order began.
************
When the first pangs of hunger had been sated and eating had slowed, attention turned to Sam via Santana. “So what about you, Trouty Mouth?” hoping she wasn’t going to hear he and Brittany were an item again. Despite the fact that she knew she and Brittany were over, she couldn’t turn off the feelings she still had and suspected she always would to some degree. And she definitely didn’t want someone as brilliant as she’d always known Brittany was to be tied to someone as lightweight as Sam.
Sam shook his head at her address. He knew there was no love lost between him and Santana for a number of reasons – not the least of which was Brittany - and he even sympathized with her feelings just a little bit. Rachel reached over and lightly slapped Santana for the name calling - pouting when Santana glared at her, then grinning when Santana winked and turned her attention back to Sam. “Nothing nearly as exciting as the rest of you, I’m afraid,” he replied as he glanced around the room. “I’m a waiter at the Capitol Grille in Nashville. Most nights after work I play at one of the local honky tonks on the Row. I’ve met a few famous people and even played back-up on a couple albums, but that about the extent of it at the moment.”
“Not a bad place to be though,” Puck said. “You writing?”
Sam shook his head. “Not recently. I have the occasional bout of inspiration, but those seem to be few and far between. Most days I’m too tired to focus.” He chuckled. “I’m amassing some serious material to pull from though when I finally get time and energy and focus all together in the same place.”
“I feel that way,” Puck acknowledged. “You’d think writing would be a breeze when there’s a story there to tell, but some days....” He just shook his head.
“Puck?” Kurt broke into the silence. “What about Finn? You said you were rooming with him at the University here, but what’s he doing?”
“You don’t know?”
Kurt shook his head. “No. The first time I heard from him in months was when he called the loft to invite us all here for this gig. And except for Thanksgiving dinner – which was mostly us eating and watching a little football with my dad before he took off again - I’ve hardly even seen him in passing. He’s been real busy practicing with his band for this gig.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty stoked about this. He thinks they have a real shot at going somewhere.”
“Do they?” from Santana.
“Maybe,” Puck shrugged. “I haven’t been around to hear them much.”
“How come you’re not playing with them, man?” Sam asked. “You play a pretty wicked guitar.”
“Right?” just a little smugly. “But this is something Finn got up to while I was in Brooklyn. Not something a brother crashes his way into, ya know?” Nods around the table.
“So what’s he doing in school, Puck?”
“Studying for his teaching certificate. Said he was tired of Sue Sylvester using that to discredit him and the hard work he put into making Glee work while Schue was gone.” He shrugged. “He really seems to like it.”
Mike shook his head. “Never thought Finn Hudson would ever choose teaching as a profession. He hated school aside from sports and Glee.”
“I think he wanted to emulate Mr. Schue,” Tina offered quietly. “Schue seemed to be mentoring him until their falling out. Though they did eventually make up – that’s when Finn decided to get his certificate.”
It got quiet then... everyone afraid to broach the big pink elephant that still remained undiscussed in the room. Everyone was curious, but they all firmly believed that if Rachel had indeed gotten the part, it would have been the very first thing they’d have heard about once they were all gathered together. Finally Mercedes bit the bullet, hoping Rachel would understand she was truly interested and not simply taking a shot at her. “What about you, Rachel? Mr. Schue shared with us about you being one of the top three choices for the role of Fanny Brice in the Funny Girl revival, but we never heard anything more about it and I know it is scheduled to start previews in the spring. Did you get the part or...?”
Quinn, Santana and Kurt all exchanged looks while Rachel directed her gaze to the hands clasped in her lap. For a moment there was silence as they waited for her answer, then she started to reply... only to be interrupted by Kurt.
“Dad?”
“Mr. Schue?”
Ten heads swiveled towards the door where Burt Hummel and Will Schuester stood. Burt had removed his trademark ball cap, holding it in front of him as he gripped his wrist with the other hand. Will had his hands clasped together and pressed to his lips. There were no tears on either man’s face though it was evident they had both been crying. Kurt rose and went to Burt immediately, trying to pull him out of the alcove so they could speak privately. Burt took a deep breath and shook his head.
“No, Son. I think you all need to hear this together.”
Kurt furrowed his brow and looked around the room, a feeling of dread coiling in the pit of his belly. “Okay, Dad. Do you want to sit down or...?”
“No. I need to get back to Carole.” He shook his head and cleared his throat before Kurt could question him. “We just got the news about an hour ago. Finn died early this morning.” He held up a hand although no one moved to do more than gasp. “He became a volunteer firefighter over the summer and there was a five alarm call late last night. He died helping put out a fire at a meth lab. It exploded – he died instantly.” There was no sound beyond the extraneous sounds of the restaurant flowing around them... not even breathing, then Rachel jumped from her place and rushed out of the alcove towards the restroom. Quinn followed her without hesitation or looking back. Burt cleared his throat again. “I don’t have any more details at the moment, but I need to get back to Carole.” He looked at Kurt. “She’s devastated.”
“I’ll go back with you, Dad.”
“I’ll stay here until the kids are ready to leave,” Schuester said almost immediately. “You’ll let us know...?”
“Yes, though it’ll probably be a few days. I need to....” Kurt took Burt’s hand in his.
“Come on, Dad. I’ll drive you home.” Then they left without a backwards glance. Will looked around the room at the kids who were completely stunned and shell shocked by the news. He wasn’t at all surprised when Santana stood.
“I’ma go check on my girls and we’re gonna get outta here.” She looked around the room. “I expect you guys to keep in touch... all of you,” giving everyone including Sam a fierce glare before spinning on her heel and exiting the alcove. They watched her enter the ladies’ room before Mercedes stood, causing the rest to do the same. Will tilted his head at her in question.
“C’mon, Mr. Schue. Let’s take this somewhere more private – somewhere we can be ourselves and grieve. Let’s go to the one place we all call home.”
Schuester nodded and led the way out of the restaurant and over to the choir room at McKinley High.
************
“Rachel?” Quinn called out softly as she pushed open the restroom door. She stepped inside to find Rachel leaning against a sink staring sightlessly into the mirror. “Hey.” Brown eyes refocused on hazel and Rachel turned to lean against the sink though her knuckles were white where they grasped the edges. “C’mere.” Rachel shook her head and Quinn walked closer – not quite within touching distance and just out of her personal space. She opened her arms. “Rach....”
The soft invitation was all Rachel needed and she flung herself into Quinn’s arms. Her sobs were deep and quiet and tears slid silently down Quinn’s face in sympathy. She heard the door open and lifted her eyes to meet Santana’s in the mirror. They didn’t exchange any words, but Santana nodded her understanding of Quinn’s silent directive and leaned against the closed door and waited.
After a few moments Rachel’s sobs lessened and she pulled away from Quinn enough to meet her eyes through her tears. “What am I supposed to do now, Quinn?” Quinn frowned and Rachel shook her head and dropped her gaze to Quinn’s collarbone as her lips trembled. “He was always supposed to be there, Quinn. Finn was always supposed to be there for me... even if we weren’t together anymore! He was my friend - he wasn’t supposed to leave me here alone!”
“Oh, Rach... you’re not alone. And you never will be as long as you have all of us.”
“He broke his promise to me. He promised I wouldn’t be disappointed and now....” She sighed tremulously and her eyes watered. “How can I trust that you won’t disappoint me too?”
“Because we’re going to work on it together and trust each other to get it right.”
Rachel looked up and met sincerity in Quinn’s stare. “I loved him, Quinn. He was my first... everything really. I’m not really sure....”
“And he loved you. And you’ll always keep that love in your heart - just like I will and Kurt and Puck and maybe even Santana a little bit – even when you fall in love again. Your life isn’t over, Rach. Finn wouldn’t want it to be.”
“Yeah, Munchkin. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but we’ll be with you all the way. And one day you’ll be able to look back and remember Finn without it hurting like it does right now. For now though,” said as she pushed herself away from the door, “we’ll mourn and remember.”
“I’m going to miss him.”
“We all will, Sweetie,” Quinn assured her as she tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind Rachel’s ear before kissing her forehead. She accepted the paper towel Santana was pressing into her hand and gently wiped Rachel’s eyes and face. “C’mon. Let’s go mourn with our friends and then maybe we can find a way to celebrate Finn’s life.”
“I’d like that,” Rachel said with a tiny, watery smile as she stepped out of Quinn’s embrace. Quinn extended her hand and Rachel accepted it with alacrity, squeezing it lightly to acknowledge her gratitude and holding on for dear life. Santana wrapped an arm around her shoulders briefly, but moved away to open the door for them before Rachel could reciprocate. Then they walked out together, intent on joining their friends in mourning the unexpected death and celebrating the life of one of their own.
THE END
07/13
