Chapter CIII

The entire Tagherty clan was in the kitchen when they entered – even the children.  It was obvious they were all bidding Esmeralda and Brianna goodbye and though loath to interrupt their limited time with Brianna especially, Charisma knew she would regret not seizing this opportunity if she let it pass her by.  Besides, if it worked out the way she hoped it might, Brianna would be back in their lives on a more permanent basis so saying goodbye would become a moot point.

Charisma felt Kent squeeze her hand fleetingly before releasing it and urging her forward gently.  Charisma stepped further into the room and cleared her throat, drawing all eyes to her.  Kent stayed just behind her, offering his support while maintaining his distance.

Charisma looked around the room slowly, meeting the eyes that were staring back at her.  The kids – all of them – were mostly confused; her brothers and their wives questioning; her parents hopeful.  She chanced to wonder about that reaction, curious to know if Kent had spoken to them privately beforehand, but before she could settle into that line of thought, her eyes caught Esmeralda’s and she flinched at the loneliness and pain reflected back at her.  She took a deep breath and finally looked at Brianna, who was courteous enough to hold her gaze even though her eyes were shuttered against Charisma’s.  She winced at the pain that lanced through her at that truth, but she kept her eyes firmly focused on Brianna and stayed the course of action she had chosen.

“Kent and I have something to say, and I want all of you to understand that he is not to blame for this.  This was a mutual decision, but I bear the responsibility for the outcome.”  She paused and sucked in a nervous breath, never breaking her stare with Brianna.  “Kent and I have decided to separate and will in all likelihood be proceeding to divorce in the near future.  It is completely amicable.”  Here her eyes left Brianna’s and traveled around the room to meet with each adult member of the family.  “I don’t want him treated like some sort of pariah – he is still Adam’s father and part of this family.”

“And what about your career?” Kay asked and Charisma smirked.  She’d expected the doctor to be the one to bring that up no matter how much the rest wanted to know.  Though they had only known one another very short time, Kay had never been one to pull her punches, and Charisma appreciated the honesty that came with that approach.  She shrugged, eyes locking on Brianna’s once more.

“I am learning that some things are worth fighting for and that others aren’t as important as I once believed.”  Brianna finally dropped her eyes to the floor and Charisma shifted her gaze to Kay.  “If the voters I have worked twenty years serving cannot accept my honesty with myself despite everything...?”  She shrugged again.  “I guess I’ll be looking for another job when this term is over.”

“Does that bother you?” Esmeralda asked quietly.

Charisma looked at her thoughtfully, and the rest waited to hear what she had to say.  After all, the Presidency had been her dream for as long as any of them could remember and she’d worked her whole life towards that singular goal.  “Not like you’d expect it to.  Laura’s probably going to have a fit; we’ve been working together towards this for years.  But at the end of the day I’m not sure it’s all been worth it.”

“And what of you, Son?” Patrick queried, shifting everyone’s attention to Kent.  “How do you feel about all this?”

Kent cleared his throat.  “I think it’s a good thing.  I believe Charisma will eventually find happiness,” giving Brianna a pointed look, “and I couldn’t ask for more than that.”

His words seemed to be a catalyst and the room was suddenly alive with a cacophony of sound and movement as most of the family began shifting their attention away from Charisma and Kent and back to what they had been engaged in beforehand.  Patrick claimed Kent and Okasa collected Charisma and without realizing what had happened, Charisma looked up to find Brianna gone and Esmeralda on her way out.  She looked at Mama who just nodded her permission.  Charisma clenched Okasa’s hands, then scooted towards the kitchen door as rapidly as she could manage.  She didn’t notice how the room quieted behind her when she crossed the threshold into the foyer.  Brianna was just opening the door for Esmeralda when Charisma caught up to them.  “Brianna!!” seeing the slight slump of shoulders when she called out and feeling pain of that reaction cut into her again.  Steeling herself she took a deep breath and lowered her voice.  “Wait... please.”

Esmeralda and Brianna traded stares for a moment, then Brianna nodded to her once.  Esmeralda put a comforting hand on her arm and squeezed it affectionately, then she turned to face Charisma.  Charisma forced herself to look away from Brianna, knowing Esmeralda would recognize the naked longing in her eyes and not caring.  More than anyone, Esmeralda would understand and forgive her for it.  She opened her arms and Esmeralda stepped into her embrace.

“Thank you, Charisma... for everything.  I would have said something earlier, but you and Mama were so deep in conversation, I hated to interrupt.  I just figured I’d tell you tomorrow.”

Charisma pulled back enough to cup one hand around Esmeralda’s cheek.  “Thank you for letting us do something for you, Es.  Though we’d rather there never have been a reason, you know?”

Esmeralda nodded and whispered, “I know.”

“As for interrupting... you wouldn’t have been.  And if you need someone to talk to or you need to get out of the house for a little while – day or night, you call me, okay?  You’re always welcome.”

“Thank you, Charisma.”  They hugged again once more, then Esmeralda was out the door and into the waiting limo, leaving Brianna and Charisma standing awkwardly alone in the foyer.  Brianna finally broke the uneasy silence.

“Was there something you needed, Charisma?”

Charisma studied Brianna, seeing so much swirling in the depths of her eyes.  She bit her lip and nodded.  “I need you to know that what happened between Kent and me was not your fault.  Your coming here may have been the catalyst that spurred us to actually take action on the situation, but you did nothing to influence the decision we reached.  Our marriage as an intimate relationship was over long before you ever stepped foot in Washington, D.C..”

Brianna blinked slowly and sighed.  “Why are you telling me this, Charisma?” an underlying hint of sadness in her tone.

“I know I’ve made a complete mess of everything between us – from letting you walk out of my life twenty years ago to being an ass towards you when you got here to thinking nothing had to change between us once I knew your truth to rushing the pretense of a friendship that we both managed to ignore until it was gone.  So many things I’ve done wrong where you and I are concerned.”  She dropped her eyes to the ground and shook her head, hoping to clear her eyes of tears before she looked up again.  “If I could go back....”

“If wishes were horses,” Brianna muttered.

“Beggars would ride – exactly,” Charisma finished with a soft chuckle.  “However, I know the only way through is straight ahead... no reset button, right?”

Brianna snorted, knowing Charisma knew that reference strictly due to Adam.  “Right,” she agreed.

“Right,” Charisma repeated. “So, um... I know that you’ve already given me a couple chances to get this right, and I keep screwing things up left and right and sideways.  But I’ve spent the last few months trying to come to terms with things about myself that I’ve spent a lifetime denying.  I still haven’t gotten through most of my issues; it may take me the rest of my life to work through them all.  But I am trying now and I was wondering if you might be willing to offer me one more chance.  Because as much as I don’t want you and the family to break-up, I’m self-aware enough to acknowledge that I don’t want to give you up either... not again.  I’m selfish that way.”  She paused and Brianna waited, recognizing the signs that indicated that Charisma wasn’t finished.

“Esmeralda was right, you know – at least as far as I’m concerned.  I AM scared – not so much of what people will think or even of what this could do to my career.”  She saw Brianna’s brow cock derisively and shook her head.  “I am a little scared.  Politics is all I’ve ever known... all I’ve ever been a part of my entire adult life; I’m not sure what I would do instead, but I imagine the family is already working on ideas,” seeing Brianna reflect the smirk that crossed her face.  “And knowing they’ll be behind me regardless....”  She drew in a breath. “But I AM scared of letting you down... of not being what you need me to be... because my track record where you’re involved is abysmal.”

“Charisma....”

“Brianna, please,” she pleaded, tilting her head towards the ceiling so Brianna wouldn’t see the tears slide down her face.

“Charisma, look at me.”  Charisma closed her eyes and released a shaky breath before bringing her hands to her face to wipe her tears.  Only then did she turn her gaze to Brianna.  Brianna sucked in a breath of her own and bit her lip.  She’d never been able to stand to see Charisma cry, and to know she was ultimately the cause of this particular breakdown....  “What exactly are you proposing?”

Charisma couldn’t stop the hope that flared in her eyes, but she replied calmly, “I’d like us to start over... really start over.  I know we can’t actually unlearn the things we know about each other, but it seems like maybe if we go back to how we were in the beginning... when we were getting to know one another, that perhaps we could learn about the people we are now.”

“And the fact that I love you....”

Charisma took an uneven breath.  “I am still trying to understand that about us because I’m pretty sure I....”  She stopped speaking when Brianna’s fingers covered her lips.

“No,” she instructed with a shake of her head, rushing forward when she saw the tears flood Charisma’s eyes once more.  “No, I don’t want you to say it until you’re sure – until you absolutely mean what you’re saying and are prepared to live with all the consequences and commitments it brings.”  Brianna removed her fingers and Charisma stared at her momentarily before clearing her throat.

“Are you saying...?”

Brianna held up a hand and Charisma stopped.  “Did you know Laura Maxwell called me into her office yesterday?” seeing Charisma’s eyes widen in shock.  Brianna nodded.  “Mmhmm – she told me to stay away from you... said I would be detrimental to your Presidential campaign.”  Now the blue eyes darkened in anger.

“Oh no she didn’t,” Charisma growled.  Brianna nodded again.

“She did, in fact.”  Brianna chuckled.  “It was almost entertaining actually.  Made me feel like I was in the middle of a badly written soap opera.”  Charisma snorted.  “I told her you were a big girl who had been making decisions on your own for years and you could take care of yourself.”

“You’re probably the only person to stand up to her in forever.”

“Yes, well... she needed a little comeuppance.  I was just the one lucky enough to be able to give it to her,” Brianna said, making a little face.   “Still I know however misguided her intentions were, she is your friend and councilor especially in regards to your future ambitions concerning the Presidency.  Maybe before we make any decisions here, you should talk to her.”

Charisma glared at Brianna, blue eyes almost glowing in her irritation.  “Did you not just two minutes ago tell me I could make my own decisions?  I will talk to Laura; we already have a meeting scheduled for first thing in the morning to put together a more detailed press release regarding my separation from Kent.  But she has nothing to do with us.  I want you here... in my life.  I want to know if you want that enough to give me one more chance to get it right.”

“Charisma....

“Brianna, I can’t not try.... not after seeing what Es has gone through these last few days.  I don’t want to have any more regrets than I already do.  I don’t want to waste any of the time we have left together.”

Brianna scrutinized Charisma for what felt like forever before she nodded once.  “I’m willing to try, Charisma, but....”

“Brianna, all I’m asking for is a chance.”

“All right,” Brianna agreed with a sigh.  “But I need to go.  I need to get Esmeralda home.”

Charisma nodded.  “Go.  And call me when you get home... please?”

Brianna nodded and put her left hand on the doorknob before turning back and extending her right to Charisma.  “It was nice to meet you, Charisma.”

“You too, Brianna Brianna,” Charisma assured her as she clasped the smaller hand in hers.  Then they released one another and Brianna opened the door and was gone.  Charisma waited until she heard the car pull away and head down the drive.  Then she blew out a nervous breath and braced herself to return to her family in the kitchen.

************

Jas opened the door for Esmeralda when she reached the bottom of the steps.  “Thank you, Jasper,” she acknowledged in a faint whisper, then slid into the seat.  Jas looked at the front door that had closed again as soon as Esmeralda exited, then she climbed into the back to sit beside her for a minute.  Esmeralda turned tired, questioning eyes towards her and Jas shrugged.

“Everybody but me got to say their goodbyes inside before they left.  I figure I should grab my chance now.”

Esmeralda smiled and clutched the fingers resting on Jas’ knee.  “I’m glad you did.”

Jas used the hold Esmeralda had on her hand to pull Esmeralda into her, and they hugged for several minutes.  When she finally eased back she brushed a light kiss over the blonde hair, not quite surprised to see some silver threads woven into it now.

“I’m gonna miss you, Es.”

“I’ll miss you, Jas.  Thank you....” stopping when Jas shook her head.

“We were glad to do it, Es.  We volunteered, you know?  We weren’t going to leave you stranded with just anybody.”

Esmeralda smiled.  “Well, I was glad it was you guys despite how screwy the assignment went.”

“Speaking of,” Jas segued with a frown, jerking her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the door.  “What’s going on?”  Esmeralda shrugged.

“Best guess?  I think Charisma might be finally stepping out of the closet… or at least peeking out of an open door.  The real question is if Brianna will be willing to give them the opportunity to be happy together.”

Jas shook her head.  “I don’t know why anyone would choose to be miserable, but even after centuries of working among mortals I have to admit that I still don’t understand them.”

“I don’t think they understand themselves most of the time, Jas.  I think that’s part of the problem.”

“That would certainly explain a lot.  Oh,” pulling out of her loose embrace with Esmeralda and sliding to the door.  “I think the boss is headed this way.  Time to play chauffer one more time.”  Jas opened the door and stepped from the vehicle, then bent down so she could say goodbye.  “Love you, Es.”

Esmeralda gave her a small smile.  “Love you too, Jas.”  Then Brianna was approaching and looking between the two of them with concern.

“Is everything okay?”  Esmeralda nodded.

“I just wanted to offer Es my condolences,” Jas spoke before Esmeralda could.  Brianna saw Esmeralda’s agreement and bobbed her head. 

“Thank you, Jas.  Let’s get Es home, all right?”

“Yes ma’am.”  Jas closed the door behind her, then climbed in behind the wheel, and they headed away from Charisma’s home.  Brianna was pensively quiet, and Esmeralda sighed.  Despite the fact that her job here was finished, she couldn’t stop caring about the two women who had become friends to her.  She moved her gaze from the window to Brianna’s troubled countenance.

“Brianna?” wincing when her neck popped as she jerked her head around to face Esmeralda.  Brianna tilted her head in question.  “Are you okay?”

Brianna chuckled wryly.  “Pretty sure I should be the one asking you that, Es.  I’m... I’m not really sure what I am actually.  Did I understand you correctly when you spoke to Charisma – that you plan to be at work tomorrow?”  Esmeralda nodded and Brianna shook her head though she didn’t make any comments as to her thoughts on that particular subject.  “Ask me again tomorrow.  I’ll have the chocolate milk chilled and waiting.”

“I’d like that,” Esmeralda agreed.  The two were silent for the rest of the ride home.

************

Charisma steadied herself as she approached the kitchen, easily noting the relative silence throughout the room.  When she reached the threshold, she realized that at least part of that was due to the fact that the kids had once more left the building – quite literally from the sounds of it.  If she didn’t know better, she’d swear they were all running around in her back yard.  The adults, however, still sat gathered around the table and all eyes turned her way as she walked into the room.  Kent was the first to break the silence.

“Everything okay?”

Charisma looked at him and saw the hopeful twinkle in his eyes and the tremulous smile on his face.  She smiled back at him.  “I think so.  She’s agreed to give me one more chance to see if I can get things right.”  She felt the release of tension in the room as a palpable thing and chuckled.

“Does this mean she’s part of the family again?” Forrest asked hopefully.

“That will be up to her, Orrie.  She and I are going to start from the beginning again – try to learn about the people we are now and be friends again.  So it may be a little while before she’s comfortable being part of the family again.  I don’t know.  Just be ready to welcome her back when she’s ready.”

“Not a problem,” he assured her.  “The kids wouldn’t stand for anything else anyway.”  Hunter laughed. 

“God that’s the truth.  That’s all we’ve heard about since she missed Christmas.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Kay cut in, “she’s missed you all terribly.  But don’t pressure her... please.  There are things she has to make peace with too.”  They nodded their agreement and let their attention turn to figuring out what they were going to do for dinner.  Kay approached Charisma who simply waited for her with a sardonic smirk.

“What’s up, Doc?” she asked when Kay was close enough to hear her without Charisma needing to raise her voice.  Kay rolled her eyes, but let a smile cross her face even as she examined Charisma’s body language.  She nodded in satisfaction.

“You’ve changed,” watching a dark brow shoot into an equally dark hairline.  “You’re more settled... more at peace with yourself – even since yesterday.”

“I am.  I realized Es was right, and I was a coward to choose misery.”

Kay nodded.  “I hope it all works out, Charisma.  It would be nice to see you both happy.”

“You mean that.”

“I really do.  Just take things slow; I think you’ll be fine.”  Charisma inclined her head, but before she could respond Kent wrapped an arm around both of them.

“C’mon, ladies.  Mama’s calling and reserving an entire section of Outback for us.  She figured they deserved some warning.”

Kay looked down at her funeral garb and frowned.  “Are we going like this?”

Kent shook his head.  “Everybody’s headed upstairs to change.  Theresa said she’s about your size if you want to borrow something – first door on the right at the top of the stairs. Just meet back here in fifteen minutes.”  Kay nodded and headed upstairs and Charisma realized she and Kent were the only ones left in the kitchen.  He extended his hand and tugged on hers briefly when she caught his.  “C’mon, Charisma.  Harley’s watching Adam until we can get upstairs to change him.”  A beat. “I’m pretty proud of you, Charisma,” releasing her hand to guide her up the stairs ahead of him.  She smiled.

“I’m pretty proud of you too.”


Chapter CIV

“Charisma, please... have a seat,” Laura Maxwell commanded as soon as Charisma stepped into her office.  “That’s all, Jess,” dismissing her assistant with a negligent wave.  Jess nodded and closed the door.  Charisma continued on until she was sitting across the desk from Laura.  She had the distinct impression this was not going to go well and sighed.  It was too damn early in the morning for DRAH-MAH but better that they get this over with now.

Laura leaned her weight on her hands against the desk as she studied Charisma silently.  Charisma didn’t squirm or appear uncomfortable.  She simply returned Laura’s gaze with an arched eyebrow and the slightest hint of a smirk.  Laura sighed – she wasn’t looking forward to this, but it needed to be done.  So without a word she took her seat and folded her hands on top of the desk.  “It has come to my attention that we have a serious problem that needs addressing.”  Charisma cocked her head but didn’t speak.  “Brianna Walker needs to be removed from your life.”

Both eyebrows flew into Charisma’s hairline.  “Excuse me?” her voice calm, but Laura could see the fury stirring in the back of those blue eyes.  She cleared her throat delicately.

“Brianna Walker could easily become an issue in your campaign... especially with your separation from Kent.  We need to make sure she stays at the periphery of your life if not completely outside of it.”

“No.”

“Good. Next order of... wait - what??  What do you mean, no?”

“What part of no is not clear, Laura?  I’ll be happy to explain either the ‘N’ or the ‘O’ to you.  I’ve become quite adept with Adam.”

Laura could feel her blood pressure rising and took a deep breath before saying something she could not possibly take back.  Because unlike her meeting with Brianna, she and Charisma were on the same page about a good many things; all she needed to do was remind Charisma of that.  “Charisma, I’m quite serious.  Need I remind you of how long and hard we’ve worked to get to this place?  I can spin the separation from Kent.  The voters won’t be thrilled, mind you, but they’ll accept the fact that you have outgrown one another... especially since you’ve indicated that you’ll still be raising Adam together.  Spinning your past with Senator Walker won’t be that difficult either... as long as she stays in your past, Charisma.”

“No.”

Laura slapped her hands on the top of the desk and huffed out a breath.  Charisma flinched but held her ground.  Laura ground her teeth together before leaning back with a grimace, crossing her arms over her chest and sighing.  “Why are you being so difficult about this?  Do you know anything about who this woman is now?”

“I know what I need to know, Laura.”

“Oh really?  You know she’s a lesbian.”

“Old news and not even news worthy to be honest.  I don’t think the world cares if my best friend is gay,” not seeing Laura flinch at her slip of the tongue.  “And frankly if that’s all they’ve got to worry about, then I’m going to be out of a job anyway – we’ll be living in Paradise.  There are far more important issues to be concerned with.”

“And if she’s gay for you?”

“That’s between her and me.”

“Are you really that naïve, Charisma??  It may not be news, but it will certainly derail your campaign... especially if people believe you’re gay for her as well.”

“If that’s all it takes to stop this campaign from moving forward, then it’s not really going anywhere to begin with, is it?  Laura, I’m not removing Brianna Walker from my life.  As long as she’s willing to be a part of my life again and let me be a part of hers, she’s staying.  End of discussion.”

Laura growled.  “Why the hell did she have to come back now, anyway?  Why couldn’t she have just stayed the hell away from you?”

Charisma narrowed her eyes at Laura for a long moment, then rose from her seat.  “I think we’re done here.  If you decide that we actually need to work on an expanded press release about my separation from Kent, let me know and I’ll put something together.  But stay away from Brianna Walker, Laura.  She’s off limits to you.”

“You’re serious.”

“As a fucking heart attack,” her words causing Laura to cringe noticeably.  Charisma walked to the door, stopping when she heard Laura’s voice again.

“Did you know she’s a writer?  Or has ties to the Mob?”

Charisma sighed.  “She was a writer in college, Laura.  She could have made a living at it if she’d chosen to go that route.  As for the Mob... I met her family.  She can’t help what she was born into, but she can be damned proud of who she became in spite of them.”

“She did.”

“Excuse me?  She did what?”

“Made a career out of being a writer.”  Charisma turned and met Laura’s eyes, which were smug with confidence in her knowledge.

“I beg your pardon.”

“You don’t have to beg, Charisma – just ask.  Or better yet, go ask your supposed best friend why you never knew she’s the writer known as Heather Athena Fontana.  And when you’re ready to get serious about this campaign again, call me.”

Charisma didn’t respond.  She simply left Laura’s office and headed for her own.

************

Charisma’s day passed quickly enough.  There was always something going on and it was enough to keep her busy and her mind off the conversation she’d shared with Laura.  So when Esmeralda knocked on the door much later that evening, she was startled to realize just how late it had gotten.  She glanced up as Esmeralda stuck her head in the door, then waved her forward.

“Come in, Es,” standing and crossing from behind her desk to offer Esmeralda a hug.  The embrace was strong but brief, and Charisma leaned back to look into tired green eyes.  “Can I interest you in chocolate milk?”

Esmeralda bit her lip.  “I’m supposed to have some with Brianna in a little while, but I don’t suppose a little more will hurt me, will it?”

“Well, it hasn’t messed me up yet,” Charisma offered with a smile, “though I think Kent was expecting Adam to come out that color I drank so much of it when I was pregnant.”

Esmeralda snickered.  “Because, of course, chocolate cows give chocolate milk so chocolate milk drinkers give birth to chocolate colored babies.”

“Of course,” Charisma agreed drolly as she passed a bottle to Esmeralda and took one for herself.  “How are you doing, Es?” sitting next to her on the couch.

Esmeralda released a shuddering breath and slowly shook up her milk.  “I’m... I’m taking it one day at a time – sometimes one minute at a time.  Sometimes I feel her so close to me that I think....”  She sucked down a mouthful of milk and shook her head.  Charisma moved closer and put an arm around Esmeralda, smiling sadly when the blonde head came to rest on her shoulder for a moment.

“Have you received her ashes yet?”

“Mr. Prescott delivered them first thing this morning.”

“Would you... are you planning to scatter them?  Do you need...?” trailing off when Esmeralda shook her head vehemently.

“No... thank you, Charisma.  I’m not planning to scatter them.  I’m pretty sure the Father is not happy about the fact that I... I had... that I had Saphira cremated, but I couldn’t bear to put her in the ground.  She was too much of a free spirit to be so confined.”

“She really was, wasn’t she?” Charisma asked with a smile, chuckling when Esmeralda nodded her head.  They stayed that way for another minute before Esmeralda sat up and met Charisma’s eyes.

“I supposed I should get to work, and I’m sure you probably have other things you need to be doing as well.”  She paused.  “Thank you, Charisma.”  Charisma’s brow furrowed.

“For what, Es?”

“Being a friend,” Esmeralda replied.  Charisma brushed a kiss over her forehead and stood, offering her hand to Esmeralda and pulling her up as well.

“You were a friend first, Es.  And you were a friend when I needed one the most.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too... even when I was angry with you,” smiling when Esmeralda’s eyes widened.  “I was angry because you were right and because you had the guts to say something to us about it in front of each other.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m wishing you had kicked us in the backsides a long time ago; because she gave me that other chance and I’m determined to try.”

“I think you might just succeed,” Esmeralda said as she moved back to her cart and began removing her supplies and tools.

“I hope so,” Charisma replied softly.  “I would like to be happy again, and I would love to be the one that makes her smile for the rest of her life.”

Esmeralda’s eyes widened, but she kept them on the duster as she moved around the room.  “That um... that sounds pretty serious, Charisma.”

“Especially from someone who’s been living in Narnia for twenty years?”

“Well... yeah – exactly.”

“I’m not ready to say the ‘L’ word yet – either of them.  I’m pretty sure that’s going to take me a while; just like looking into a career that isn’t politics is going to be a slow-moving process for me.  But I’ve had time to regret a number of things in my life, and in the past few months I’ve come to accept a few hard truths as well.  I don’t want to be the cause of her pain anymore, Es.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Charisma, I think this is gonna be a good thing for both of you.  And of course I’m willing to listen any time you need to talk.”

“That goes both ways, my friend,” Charisma answered.  “Now let me get out of your way.  I need to get home and make sure the family hasn’t toilet papered the inside of my house,” laughing aloud at the expression on Esmeralda’s face.  “Trust me... they’ve done it before.  It’s not pretty.”

“I’m not even gonna ask.”

“Good choice.  OH – before I forget – Mama said to tell you that she expects to see you this week before everyone heads home.  They’re leaving Sunday afternoon.”

“I’ll try.”

“Hard, Es,” Charisma warned with a finger pointed at her.  “You don’t want to know what will happen if Mama has to come looking for you.”

“Probably not,” putting the dusting materials away and unwinding the cord on the vacuum.  “Go check on your family.  And I want pictures if they’ve redecorated the interior of your home.”

Charisma rolled her eyes.  “I’ll see what I can do.”  She packed away her laptop and shouldered her briefcase, then gave Esmeralda a wave and left her to her work.

************

Brianna glanced at the clock when a knock sounded on her door, a little surprised.  Esmeralda must be ahead of schedule tonight she thought and called out, “C’mon in, Es.”  She was therefore more than a little surprised to see a dark head and blue eyes peer around the doorframe.

“I’m not Es – can I come in anyway?”

Brianna chuckled and shook her head at Charisma’s playfulness.  This, like the phone call they had shared the night before, reminded her so much of why she and Charisma had become friends in the first place.  She motioned Charisma in.

“What can I do for you, Charisma?” Brianna asked, the smile lingering on her lips.

“I won’t stay but a minute, Brianna, because I know you’re waiting to talk to Es.  I was just wondering if you’d give me a call when you got home tonight.”

“Didn’t I do the calling last night?  Isn’t it your turn to call?” her voice alight with a hint of laughter.

“It would be if I wasn’t going to be home well ahead of you with no idea of when you will be arriving.”

Brianna nodded slowly and looked at her watch.  “How about you call around eleven-thirty?  I’ll be home and we should both be winding down by then.”

“Fair enough,” Charisma agreed.  “I want to talk to you about H.A. Fontana.”

Brianna winced and scratched the back of her neck.  “Oh you’ve heard about that, have you?”

“Laura was quick to inform me this morning.  I’m not mad except at myself for not catching on to it sooner.  She’s one of my favorite authors, you know.”

“Really?”

“Um hmm – she’s always made me feel like part of her stories.”

Brianna couldn’t stop the smile that crossed her face.  “”Mission accomplished then.”

Charisma couldn’t stop the slight blush that crept up her cheeks and she cleared the throat.  “I’ll just let you get back to it,” she said, motioning around Brianna’s office.  “Expect the phone to ring at eleven-thirty.”  Then she was out the door and closing it behind her before Brianna could say a word.

“Well... all righty then,” Brianna offered to the empty room, then turned her attention back to the work on her desk.

************

“So how are you doing, Brianna?” Esmeralda asked as she accepted the bottle of chocolate milk Brianna offered.  Brianna drank a deep draught of milk, swishing it around in her mouth before swallowing.  Then she shrugged.

“I’m trying to decide if I’m an idiot or just a fool,” smiling slightly when Esmeralda frowned.  “Despite my best intentions – despite myself... despite everything – I agreed to trying again with her... to starting over and seeing what that could be for us.  Do I love her so much that I’m willing to do anything to see that she’s happy?

“Isn’t that part of loving someone, Brianna?  Doing what’s best for them even if it’s not what’s best for us?”

“This will break me, Es.  If it doesn’t work, it will... I’m not sure....”  Brianna sighed.

“Do you think it won’t?”

“Do you think it will?  Es, I don’t know what to think anymore.  I’m not sure I can trust my judgment because I want this so... so much.  I thought I could walk away again... that things would be like they were before and I’d adjust to her not being in my life once more.  But I couldn’t stay mad and now....”

“Can I tell you something?” waiting for Brianna to nod.  “It’s okay to be scared, Brianna.  You’ve been on the wrong end of a bad situation for a long time.  But I’ve seen how she looks at you – it’s the same way you look at her; the same way Saphira and I looked at one another.”  She paused to draw a shaky breath and she sipped on her milk so she wouldn’t choke when she tried to swallow down a swollen throat.  “The fact that she wants to start over from the beginning... to get to know the person you are instead of who she remembers or imagines you to be – that’s significant progress.  I think it will lead to happiness for both of you if you’ll let it.”

Brianna smiled.  “Always the optimist, Es?”

“It makes my day better than if I focus on the negatives, Brianna.  Besides,” she added as she glanced around the room until her eyes landed on the crystal frame that was once again displayed prominently on the desk.  “I’m pretty sure you’re an optimist too.”

Brianna chuckled deprecatingly.  “Maybe a little.  Maybe I just want... a lot.”

“It’s okay to want, Brianna.  And if it helps, I’m wanting for you too.”

“I’ll take all the good vibes I can get at this point.”

“And if you want to talk....”

“That goes both ways, Es.  I’m pretty sure I would have gone screaming back home before I even got settled here if not for you and Saphira so don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything, all right?  I’d like to think I can be the kind of friend that doesn’t forget about their friends no matter what else is happening in my life.”

“Thank you, Brianna.  You’ll never know how much....”

“That’s okay.  I’m pretty sure you won’t either.  But I’ll always appreciate it.  Now c’mon.  It’s time to get out of here.”

“But my work....”

“... will wait until tomorrow.  It’s not like I’m an exceptionally messy person, and you’ve done enough for one day.  I’m sure it will all be here tomorrow for you to take care of, and if it makes you feel better....”  Brianna lifted the shredded trash and dropped it into Esmeralda’s cart.  “There – all done.”

Esmeralda laughed and shook her head.  “All right, Senator.  I can take a hint.  You must have a hot date tonight.”

Brianna flushed.  “Not quite, but I am looking forward to a phone call,” matching Esmeralda’s smile with one of her own.  “And I’m not leaving you here alone tonight.  So let’s go... chop, chop.”

Esmeralda couldn’t argue so she laughed and put things away, then together they walked out of Brianna’s office.  Tomorrow would definitely be another day.


Chapter CV

Brianna was comfortably propped up in bed, sipping a cup of hot chocolate and looking over some notes from her editor when the phone rang.  She couldn’t stop the smile that crossed her face when Charisma’s name flashed on the screen.  Still she was careful to greet Charisma warmly without giving away a hint of the racing heart she could feel beating in her chest.

“Hello, Charisma.”

“Hey, Brianna Brianna.  You wouldn’t happen to want to help me dispose of the dead bodies that will soon be occupying my house, would you?”

Brianna’s brows popped into her hairline, but she couldn’t halt the snort of laughter that escaped her throat.  “Do I even want to ask?” hearing Charisma shut a door and wondering where she was that she was just closing everyone out.

Charisma sighed.  “My brothers – you remember them right?  Tall, annoying... law enforcement personnel – yes, well they decided that the family needed a little levity after the funeral and wake yesterday. So they utilized those illegal skills they have acquired as police officers to pick the lock on my office door,” moaning slightly when she stretched out on the bed.

“Oh dear,” Brianna murmured.  “Toilet paper?” she asked sympathetically, remembering when the boys had decorated their apartment like that after having helped them move in senior year.

“If only,” Charisma lamented and sighed again.  “Silly string.”

Brianna laughed even as she groaned aloud at the visual.  “They didn’t!”

“Oh yes they did.  Mama is standing in the doorway with a broom as we speak, directing their clean-up of the mess.  I’m pretty sure they’re going to have to replace a couple pieces of furniture.”

“Yea for Mama,” Brianna commented, setting her cup on the bedside table and pushing her editing to the far side of the bed.

“Yes, and speaking of....”

“I’ll try,” Brianna cut in.

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“Sure I do, Charisma.  We may be just starting to learn about one another again, but Mama hasn’t changed in twenty-five years... not about some things anyway.  You were going to tell me that I need to try to come over again before the family leaves.”

“Too damn smart for your own good,” Charisma mumbled, smiling when Brianna’s chuckle came across the line.  “So tell me about H.A. Fontana.”

“There’s not much to tell, really – I found that giving up writing was harder than I thought it would be.  I was... distracted from my day job because of the stories I wanted to tell.  And losing you....”  She shook her head.  “Fontana was a way for me to remember without it being too personal because I could make the stories about the characters instead of us.  And it fulfilled my need to write.”

“So Mac was right then – you should have become a writer.”

“Mac was right,” Brianna agreed with a smile in her tone.  “I wrote and told him about it a long time ago.  He was gracious about it – he never said ‘I told you so’; he just asked for a first edition of each book and tickets to the premiere when... if it goes beyond the book.”

“Do you think they will?”

“There’s been talk,” Brianna admitted.  “But talk is all it’s been for a while.  It doesn’t matter right now though.  I don’t have time for it to be more than it already is.”

“Maybe someday?” Charisma’s voice a little wistful.

“Maybe.”

“And your pen name?  That came from our European trip, didn’t it?”

“It did indeed – some of my fondest memories are tied up in that name.”

“Mine too,” Charisma confessed.  “Did you talk to Es?” feeling Brianna’s hesitation.  “I know she’s a wonderful confidante, Brianna, and I’m not asking you to spill secrets.  I was wondering how you thought she was doing.”

Brianna tilted her head thoughtfully even though Charisma couldn’t see the action.  “I think... you know, I’m not really sure.  Part of me wants to believe she’s going to get through this despite everything, and another part of me wonders if that’s even possible.  I’ve never met two people so in tune with one another before.”

“Neither have I.  But I didn’t get the same sense of despair I felt right after Saphira died.  I just wish I knew if that meant she was dealing with her loss or if she’s just numb to it all.”

“This close in, I’d have to go with the numb theory myself,” Brianna stated.  “I don’t see how she could make peace so quickly,” thinking of her own experience with Charisma.

“Good point,” Charisma agreed.  “Well, we’ll try to keep an eye on her.  Would you be interested in going to Angel’s after work one night this week?  Maybe we could get Es to go with us.  I don’t think she’ll ever go back there alone and Matilda’s going to want to look after her as well.”

“Sure,” Brianna agreed.  “Wednesday night, maybe?  I think that is pot roast night, and Joe does a killer pot roast.”

“Sounds good.”  Charisma yawned.  “Your turn to call tomorrow night.”

“You betcha,” Brianna said with a laugh.  “Get to bed, Charisma.  Tomorrow is another day.”

“Thank you, Scarlett,” Charisma replied drolly before she yawned again.  “Night, Brianna Brianna.”

“Happy dreams, Ri.”

************

A storm broke that night and with the falling of the rain, the cold of winter became the chill of spring, and no one was happier to see that change than Esmeralda.  It gave her hope that she might one day soon get to see the blooms of home once more.  She looked for Saphira in her dreams, hoping she might know when that might be, but Esmeralda drifted into a deeper sleep without ever finding their dell.  She wondered when the Father would deem her need for Saphira necessary to fulfill again.

So it wasn’t hard to get Esmeralda to agree to go to dinner with them – Brianna called Matilda who in turn called Esmeralda to let her know she was expected.  Esmeralda wanted to be mad at the interference from both of them, but she was so lonely with the house empty and everyone gone that she accepted the mandate without argument.  And Brianna and Charisma carried on so that she couldn’t fault them or Matilda for being so obvious.

The first weekend both Brianna and Esmeralda spent most of Saturday at Charisma’s house at Mama’s behest.  The children were thrilled to have Brianna among them again and claimed her almost as soon as she walked in the door.  Mama, on the other hand, took possession of Esmeralda and the rest simply followed behind. 

That day was renewing for Esmeralda, and if she couldn’t find Saphira at all in her dreams at least she had the love and caring of the human family that had adopted them.  And the love and attention they lavished on her that day reminded her that there were still good things in the world to be thankful for.  Seeing the looks on their faces knowing that Brianna had returned to them – watching the shy glances stolen between Brianna and Charisma when they thought no one was looking was a bonus; it made her heart glad that there was good coming from the tragedy that had befallen her.

Esmeralda had always looked forward to the evenings she worked – it meant conversation with her colleagues and the Senators she worked for.  But now it was her lifeline... practically the only interaction she had with others, and she appreciated it in a way she hadn’t when Saphira had been her life.  The nights were the hardest because that’s when she was alone, and many were the nights that she cried herself to sleep, hoping to find Saphira in her dreams and always being disappointed when she wasn’t to be found.  Still she tried to keep the faith like she had promised – wondering what was behind this whole debacle and hoping the Father had gotten whatever conclusion He had been looking for.

************

In the next few weeks after the Tagherty family returned to their homes, things settled into something of a routine for Charisma and Brianna.  At least one of them stayed late every night to talk to Esmeralda, and some nights both of them did.  Wednesdays they all went to the diner to share a late meal with Joe and Matilda and Esmeralda always hugged them all before leaving.  It wasn’t the same as hugging Saphira, but she craved the contact just the same and was thankful beyond measure that each of them was willing to provide her with such comfort.

Brianna and Charisma spoke on the phone every night – sometimes briefly, like Wednesdays when they were together until late.  Sometimes they talked for an hour or more, gossiping and giggling about things they had seen or heard during the day.  But they took turns calling – it was like their own inside joke – the only person who knew how much they both anticipated this interaction was Esmeralda. 

Their days were filled with work, and though they saw one another at some point during the day several times a week things were no longer forced between them.  They had yet to share lunch, but that was due mostly to conflicting schedules than them trying to avoid one another.  They were hoping to find time to schedule lunch together before they finished this session, but they had already determined to let it happen instead of making it.

Laura Maxwell seethed over their interaction while Scott Patterson watched with interest.  Something had changed between them, and he wanted to know what it was.

************

“So what’s the story?” Patterson asked Brianna as he sidled up to her one afternoon on the way to yet another committee meeting.  Her eyebrows went into her hairline and she looked at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry – what’s the story about what?” shifting the papers she’d been reading until they were clutched against her chest.

“You and Tagherty.  There’s a weird vibe... not like before, but just....”  He let it lie, hoping she would take the hint and answer without him having to elaborate further.  Brianna just shrugged.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Scott.  Charisma and I are friends.”

He snorted.  “You were friends before, but you could cut the tension with a knife.  Since she and her arm candy husband separated, however....”  His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and Brianna would have laughed at the picture he made had there not been a ball of dread growing in the pit of her belly.  “You two are screwing around together, aren’t you?” laughing aloud at the delicious irony of it all.  This knowledge – true or not - would make impossibly easy to unseat Charisma from the untouchable golden throne she occupied.  His laughter was cut off in conjunction with his stumble as Brianna jerked him by the arm into a quiet corridor.  She sent her staffers ahead with a nod of her head, and his followed without hesitation.  Patterson chanced to wonder how someone of her stature had managed such a feat, then his attention was taken by her words.

“Mr. Patterson,” Brianna’s voice low and deadly.  “I’m not sure what your issue with Charisma Tagherty is, and I frankly don’t care.  Charisma and I are friends and that is all you need to know and understand.  We have been friends since we were roommates in college. Anything more than that would be sheer speculation on your part and I don’t like it when rumors start floating around about me.”  She gave him a look.  “Are we clear?”

“And what’s to stop me from...?” he gasped out, only to choke when her hand tightened around his arm painfully and she poked him hard in the chest with her other hand, causing him to wince.  He wondered how it was that there was no one in the hallway to witness this assault.  At that moment she released him unexpectedly and went about straightening his tie while he tried to read her fierce expression. Then his attention was taken by her words once more.

“Mr. Patterson, if any kind of speculation or hearsay was to come out about this from you – and believe me... I’ll know where the leak comes from – I guarantee you’ll never see re-election.  I have tried being polite and cordial while I’ve been here because I don’t want to make enemies I don’t have time to deal with, but if you want to play hardball, bring it.  Just be aware that the gloves will come off and I don’t play fair.  I do, however, play to win.”

He looked at her askance.  “Did you just threaten me??”

“Not at all, Scott,” picking up the papers she’d let fall when she’d needed to make her point more forcefully.  “But if you think I’m going to let you destroy something that Charisma has worked her whole life for because of your petty jealousies and insecurities, let me just remind you of Trevor Carlson,” smiling in satisfaction when Patterson’s face went ghastly pale.

“How do you...?”

“I told you – all bets are off.  So you need to think very carefully about how important your career and your marriage and life as you know it is to you.  I will ruin you.”

“You’re bluffing,” straightening his stance until he could look down at her.  She smirked at his power play and stepped right into his personal space.

“Wanna bet?” she asked with a smile.  Then her phone rang.  “Gotta go,” she threw over her shoulder as she headed back towards the committee room.  “Yes, Indi?” was the last thing Scott Patterson heard before she walked out of hearing.  He leaned against the wall for a long moment trying to calm the thrumming of his heartbeat, only to jump in surprise when he felt his phone vibrate against his chest.  He grabbed the device from his coat pocket and pushed off the wall to head back towards his office.

“I know I’m late, Murray.  Tell them to start without me – something’s come up.  Take good notes for me.”  And he pushed the off button and jammed it back into his pocket, missing the days when he could slam a cover closed or a receiver into its cradle.  It would have been a much more satisfying way to relieve some of the stress he suddenly felt.

************

“You’re quite the celebrity,” Esmeralda commented with a small smirk when she entered Brianna’s office much later that evening.  “I don’t know what the Senators have heard, but the lower echelon is buzzing about you putting Senator Patterson in his place.” 

Brianna scrubbed a hand over her face and sighed.  “What’re they saying?” watching as Esmeralda started her cleaning routine around the office.

“Just that it was about time someone gave him his due – he’s not particularly well-liked by the lower levels because of his superior attitude.  Most of them are dying to know what you said to him to make him cower.”

Brianna frowned.  “If they don’t know what was said, how do they know what happened?”

Esmeralda turned and met Brianna’s eyes.  “His staff and yours were both aware of the altercation that took place in the hallway this afternoon; and apparently he missed the rest of his day sitting in his office brooding.  Talk is that you um... handed him his ass... is the quote I got the most.”

“I told him to mind his business.”  Brianna swiveled to face the crystal frame, staring at the picture she had replaced the original with.  It was Charisma’s shot of the two of them in front of Trevi Fountain and the feelings she’d felt that night shot through her again.  “Do you think I’m crazy, Es?  Trying to protect her from rumors and speculation?  We’ve only been working at being friends again for a few weeks... a couple months at most and people are already talking.”

“Let them talk,” Charisma instructed from the doorway, startling Brianna and Esmeralda from their conversation.  Charisma pushed off from the doorjamb and sauntered into the room.  Esmeralda continued working but moved to the periphery so she was only an observer.  Brianna leaned back in her chair and studied Charisma as she leaned against the desk facing her.

“Charisma....”

“Brianna,” Charisma replied, crossing her ankles and leaning back on her arms.  “I knew when I asked for this chance with you that there was every likelihood that people would start talking about us sooner or later.  They did in school for a little while too, remember?  Eventually no one even thought twice about it and just assumed we came as a matched set.  We’re friends, and even if... when that changes to something more... we’re not doing anything wrong, are we?”

“No... no – of course not,” reaching out a hand and twining their fingers together when Charisma extended her own.  “I just don’t want you to resent me when... if… your career falls apart over this.  And it’s hard for me to believe that you’d be willing to give up everything you’ve worked for....”

“...after living in denial for twenty-some odd years?” Charisma asked with a sad smile, closing her eyes when Brianna nodded her head as tears sparkled in her eyes.  “I considered this possibility, Brianna, and even though it took me twenty years to get here I’m willing to take the risk because I want....”  She paused and glanced at Esmeralda who had continued to clean.  “Es?” watching the blonde head pop up and green eyes focus on her.  “Do you remember when you first came back to work after your illness – right before Brianna came to town?”

“Of course, Senator.  It was right before I met Adam for the first time.”

“Do you remember asking me when I’d been happy last?” waiting for Esmeralda’s head to nod.  “What did I tell you?”  Esmeralda scrunched up her face in thought before she started speaking.

“I think it was after my college graduation.  I took a trip to Europe with the very best friend I had in the world,” quoting Charisma word for word.  Charisma nodded her agreement.

“I haven’t been truly happy in such a long time, Bri.  Every decision I’ve made since I was five has been for the advancement of my career, and for a while that was enough.  But when you left – when I let you go – the most I ever found in my life was contentment.  Nothing made me genuinely happy.  I want to be happy again.  Please don’t let this give you cold feet.”

“I just want you to be sure, Charisma.”

“Oh Sweetheart,” loosening their fingers so she could cup Brianna’s face in her own.  “I’ve had twenty years to make sure.  And a family that will ensure neither of us ever doubt again.”

Brianna covered the hands caressing her cheeks with her own, pulling them away so she could hold them.  “Yea for the Taghertys!” Brianna replied.  “I only want what’s best for you, Ri.”

“How lucky I’m holding it in the palm of my hands,” Charisma said as she squeezed the hands she was clasping.  Their eyes met and they started laughing, relieving the tension that had come from their conversation.  “That was incredibly cheesy, wasn’t it?” Charisma snorted through her giggles.

“Yes!” Esmeralda complained before Brianna could say a word.  “Thank you for letting me be witness to that.  It made me happy.”

“Good!” Charisma responded emphatically.  “Since it was your kick or six in the butt that got us to this place, it seems only fair that you got to see the denouement.”  Esmeralda shook her head and Charisma and Brianna exchanged worried glances.  “No?”

“No, Charisma – this wasn’t a denouement because it’s not the end of anything.  This is a new beginning.”


Chapter CVI

Esmeralda was right of course when she told Charisma and Brianna that their conversation that day was a new beginning for them even though there was nothing overt about it.  They were still old friends who had lost touch with one another, then been reconnected by a strange twist of fate. From the outside, no one could see the difference in their relationship because it didn’t change publicly.   It couldn’t... not for a while yet.  Brianna refused to do anything that would make her a home wrecker, and while Kent and Charisma were separated they were still legally married.  So while things did become a little more intimate between them privately, they were still slowly working their way towards rebuilding a strong foundation they would eventually be able to expound upon.

Their phone conversations became less gossip sessions about the people around them and more about who they were and where they had been in life and what they thought and felt about a vast array of subjects.  That isn’t to say they didn’t gossip though both of them would have denied the accusation to their graves.  And they did still talk about family – Kent and Esmeralda and Kay and ALL the Taghertys, but that was to share things of interest the other may not have been privy to for whatever reason.

They did continue their Wednesday night dates with Esmeralda – for her sake as well as theirs.  She needed the interaction and since Matilda had insisted she keep in touch, this was the best way to accomplish that for everyone involved.  And since Brianna and Charisma were adjusting to being together again – even as simply friends - having Esmeralda as a buffer made it easier to just be.

Esmeralda, for her part, was happy to be included.  She was never made to feel like a third wheel or an add-on but more like a member of the family.  She was able to watch their friendship slowly strengthen and blossom, and it gladdened her heart just a little... which given her circumstances was more than she expected to feel ever again.

For whatever reason, none of her angelic teammates had been back to visit... not even Amber.  Esmeralda had begun to wonder if they had been forbidden to return to her or if they had been immediately reassigned to another case or if she had simply been wiped from existence as far as they were concerned.  Saphira remained elusive in her dreams and it was wearing on Esmeralda in a way she couldn’t explain to anyone.  She didn’t need to however.  Everyone could see that despite their best efforts, Esmeralda was slowly wasting away in front of them.

Charisma and Brianna tried to include her in more of their lives, but other than their Wednesday evening meals together, Esmeralda adamantly refused, citing their need to learn how to be a couple together.  After spending nearly two hours on the phone discussing their options, they decided to call in reinforcements.

So Charisma placed a call to Mama and Brianna rang up Kay.  And after just a few minutes of explaining their dilemma, Kay and Mama agreed to come in for the weekend to see if they could help. 

************

Since Esmeralda wouldn’t come to them, the four women decided to go to her instead.  Kent was in from the City to spend some time with Adam, which Charisma believed was fortuitous timing.

She met him at the door and led him immediately to her study where Brianna, Mama and Kay were currently ensconced with Adam.  Kent looked surprised but hid it fairly well, barely getting out his greetings before being mauled by his son.

“PA!” jumping into Kent’s arms for a hug and giving his father a sloppy kiss.  Kent returned the embrace fervently and laughed aloud at Adam’s exuberance.

“Hey, Boy!  You ready to have some fun with your old man?”

Adam frowned and shook his head.  “No, Pa.  Go fix Es.”  Kent turned and looked at Charisma. 

“What’s wrong with Es?”

“She’s not doing well,” Charisma replied, unwilling to elaborate more in front of Adam, but Kent was quick on the uptake and he nodded his understanding.  “We thought we’d go visit her this morning while you and Adam were out having fun.  Then maybe you could stop by to say hello.”

“I think we could do that.  Whaddya say, Adam?”

“Go fix Es?”

“Well, Mama and Gramma and Brianna and Kay are going to go see if they can make Es feel better first.  Then in a little while, you and me can stop by to cheer her up.  Sound good?”

“We bring ice cream?”

The women listening to the conversation chortled softly, but Kent nodded seriously.  “I think that’s a good idea, Son.  Ice cream will help cheer Es up.”

“’Kay!  We go now,” Adam replied imperiously, pointing towards the door.

“Well, how about we go see the airplanes and rocket ships for a little while?  Then we’ll go pick up some ice cream before we go to Es’ house.”

“Yes!  Bye Mama!” he called out, waving as he urged his father forward.  Now Kent laughed and turned towards Charisma.

“Give Mama a kiss, Son,” Kent instructed, holding onto Adam’s bottom half while he leaned into Charisma’s embrace and kissed her.  “Call me if you need anything,” Kent offered to Charisma in a whisper.  She nodded her thanks and walked them to the door.  She waited until they were out of sight before closing the portal, then went back to her study to collect the rest so they could head out to Esmeralda’s.

************

Esmeralda was surprised to see them on her porch when she opened the door at their knock, but her good manners held and she invited them inside. The place was spotless and smelled of cleaning fluid and each of them wondered if she did anything besides clean when she was home.  Before she could lead them to the living room, Brianna headed for the kitchen, putting the bag she carried on the table and smiling when the others followed suit.  Esmeralda stood in the doorway and watched bemusedly as they started unloading the groceries they’d brought with them.

“Is this an intervention of some kind?” she asked with a hint of sad humor in her voice.

“You could call it that,” Charisma replied softly.  “We’re worried about you, Es.  You’re dying in front of us, and that’s not acceptable!  And we’re going to do whatever it takes to change that.”

Esmeralda could hear the tears Charisma was biting back and she crossed the room and placed a hand on Charisma’s arm.  Charisma’s motion stilled at the touch and the rest of the room halted their work in deference to that lack of movement.  Esmeralda smiled sadly at Charisma and shook her head.

“There’s nothing you can do, Charisma.  Without Saphira....”  She shook her head.

“C’mon, Es,” Brianna begged softly.  “You have to want to live; you have to try.  Don’t you want to see Adam grow up?  Don’t you want to know how our story turns out?” reaching out a hand to Charisma who took it without hesitation.  “After all, you’re at least partially responsible for us getting this far.”

“Adam is going to become a wonderful man.  He is such a precious child, and with so many brilliant adult role models, I have great faith in his future.  As for you two, I have to believe that in choosing happiness, you have finally discovered that your true path in life lies in being together no matter where it takes you.  The only thing I’m responsible for is calling it like I see it; you two are responsible for the rest.”

“Es, is there anything we can do?” Kay asked, confident of the answer but wanting to hear Esmeralda’s explanation.  It might help the others to accept the truth of what Kay knew to be true.

“I don’t think so, Kay.  It’s not that I want to die – I just don’t want to live very much.  There’s nothing left for me here.”  Esmeralda held up a hand before the protestations could start and they respected her unspoken request to remain silent.  She took several deep breaths before expelling a sigh and resumed speaking.  “It’s not that I don’t love all of you or appreciate your places in my life.  I will never be able to convey what you mean to me.  But Saphira and I were always a part of one another from the very beginning.  I felt what she did; she knew my pain and my happiness.  We started together and we were supposed to be together forever; we were promised forever.  And yet I haven’t seen her... haven’t felt her near since the night before her funeral service.  I thought she was going to watch over me....”  Esmeralda shook her head.  “It doesn’t really matter what I thought.  The fact is that when she died so did I.  It’s just taking my body longer to catch up to that truth.”

“Bullshit!!” Charisma and Brianna exploded together, drawing startled looks from two of the other women in the room.  Esmeralda didn’t flinch; she merely held their gaze with her own sad one.  “You’re choosing this, Es.  You’re choosing to die!” Brianna accused.

“No... I’m really not.  If I was choosing death, it would already be over.  And I promised Amber I would do everything in my power to not put her through this again.  But my heart is broken, and the only thing... the only person... that could have fixed it is no longer around to do so... not even in my dreams.”

“So you’re dying from a broken heart?” Okasa queried.

“Essentially yes,” Esmeralda replied.  “I felt it fracture before I got the news of Saphira’s death.  And when I said goodbye to her in the hospital....”  She looked at the ceiling and blinked back her tears.  “I felt it stop beating.”  Charisma and Brianna snorted.

“I don’t believe that,” Charisma scoffed.  “I don’t think it’s possible.”

“It is possible,” Kay confirmed, drawing a glare from Charisma that she ignored, choosing to focus on Esmeralda instead.  “It’s rare, but it’s completely conceivable especially between partners who are mated and have spent a lifetime together.  Can we help make it easier, Es?” taking Esmeralda’s hands in her own and clasping them gently.

“I don’t think so,” Esmeralda returned quietly.  “I’m just taking things one day at a time.”  She turned to look at Charisma and Brianna who were clutching one another’s hands, knowing that their anger was due in large part to the guilt and helplessness they felt.  Kay released her hands, and Esmeralda cupped each of their faces with one hand, forcing them to raise their eyes to meet hers.  “Please don’t,” she pled softly.  “Please don’t feel guilt over this and please don’t refuse to be happy now.  The only thing that has given me any real joy since Saphira’s death is knowing that the two of you have finally found happiness together.  Please don’t take that away from me.”

Charisma covered the hand covering her cheek and smiled through her tears.  “You don’t play very fair at all,” she grumbled.  Esmeralda laughed.

“Of course not.  I live in a political town – I play to win,” causing the other four women to snicker.

Brianna took Esmeralda’s hand from her face and enfolded it between hers.  “We don’t want you to go, Es.  What’ll we do without you?”

“The same thing you’ve always done, Brianna – live.  I promise to stay with you as long as I can, and I’ll be watching over you once I’m gone.”

“Like a Guardian Angel,” Charisma whispered, fingers touching the pin she wore every day that Esmeralda had given her those many months ago.

Esmeralda nodded.  “Exactly like a Guardian Angel.  Now how about we make some lunch?”

“Good idea – especially since Kent and Adam will be by with ice cream soon.”  And with that they stood and began preparing the food that had been brought.

************

“Es?” Brianna asked as they cleaned up the kitchen sometime later.  “What happened to Amber and Ruby?  I expected them to stick around for a while... especially Ruby since she came here to help you out to begin with.”

“They both had other responsibilities, and Ruby being here was creating a hardship for other members of the family, I think.  I couldn’t justify asking either of them to stay when they had so many other obligations they were accountable for.”

“That kinda sucks,” Kay commented as she dried a pan and passed it to Esmeralda to put away.

Esmeralda shrugged.  “Life does sometimes.  We just have to appreciate the good when it happens.”

Okasa put a hand on Esmeralda’s arm.  “Is there any way I can convince you to stop working and come stay with us for whatever time you have left?”

Tears welled in Esmeralda’s eyes, but she refused to allow them to fall.  “Oh, Okasa... you have no idea how tempting that sounds, but I can’t.  I still have medical bills and funeral debts that have to be taken care of.  I can’t leave that for Amber to worry about.  It’s going to be hard enough for her to deal with my death.”

Kay tilted her head curiously and Esmeralda proffered her full attention.  “If your dying will bother her so much, why isn’t she here spending time with you while you’re still alive?”

Esmeralda studied Kay’s expression, finding nothing but compassion and curiosity in her gaze.  “I don’t think she can be.  For one thing, she’s still trying to deal with Saphira’s death; she was less prepared for that possibility than I was.  For another, I don’t think the Father will allow it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Saphira and I were banished from our home – disowned, if you will.  She basically had to demand the right to attend Saphira’s service with me.  I think the Father has refused her permission to return.”

“And she’s incapable of defying Him?”

Esmeralda chuckled unexpectedly, and the sound drew smiles from everyone.  “Oh no – she’s quite capable of defiance. She could be a professional.  I asked her not to.  I won’t be the cause of her being banished as well, and I’d prefer she stay in His good graces... just in case I need her.”

“And I thought my family was screwed up,” Brianna mumbled, causing the rest to laugh.  Before Esmeralda could question, a knock sounded at the door, and she excused herself to answer it.  Then Adam had thrown himself into her arms and Kent had entered behind him carrying yet another grocery bag.  Esmeralda just squeezed Adam for all she was worth and shook her head at the amount of food that was suddenly occupying space in her house.  Then she led the way to the kitchen so she could share ice cream with people she was proud to call family.

************

“Mama?” Adam asked hours later when Charisma was tucking him into bed.  She cocked an eyebrow at him and he giggled and traced it with his finger.  Then he frowned seriously and tipped his head to one side.  “Es all better now?”

Charisma bit her lip and closed her eyes briefly.  “I think we made Es happy today, but I don’t think she’s going to get better, Sweetie.  She misses Saphira too much.”

Adam threw his arms around her neck.  “Love Es, Mama.”

“I know, Son; we all love Es.  But part of Es is missing with Saphira gone, and she needs that part to be all better again.  None of us can fix that.”

Adam considered her words carefully, then nodded and hugged her again.  “Love Mama.”

Charisma smiled and returned his embrace.  “I love you too, Adam... so much.  Sleep now with happy dreams, okay?” feeling him nod against her chest.  She laid him down on his pillow and pulled the covers up over his shoulders.  He yawned once and closed his eyes, nodding off before Charisma could rise from the bed.  Then she made her way back downstairs where everyone else was assembled.

“He asleep already?” Kent asked.  He hadn’t put their son to bed because Adam had specifically requested Charisma, and though he was a little hurt by it Kent understood that some things a boy sometimes needed his mama for.  Charisma nodded and made a beeline for Brianna, curling up on the couch next to her and taking her hand without conscious thought.

“Yes.  He wanted to know if Es was all better,” feeling the wince that went around the room.

“I wish there was more we could do for her,” Brianna said.  Kay shook her head.

“The most important thing any of us can do is to share our happiness with her... especially the two of you,” watching Brianna and Charisma blush and exchanging smirks with Okasa and Kent.  “I know you’re taking things remarkably slow, but I think knowing she played even a small role in seeing you happy together has eased her pain somewhat.  Be thankful you could do that much.”

The room fell silent and Charisma allowed her thumb to absently trace over the soft skin on Brianna’s knuckles.  Kent chuckled and rose from his chair, walking behind them and dropping a hand onto each of their shoulders.  They jumped but didn’t shift from their positions.  Kent leaned forward until his head was on a level with theirs and took their joined hands in both of his.

“I just want to say I’m glad to see this,” squeezing the clasp lightly.  “I know it’s only been a few months, but really, it’s been a couple decades.  So if you’re going slow because of my feelings, please don’t.  I know I made the right decision.  However, if you’re going slow for each other, I suppose that’s all right then.  Just be happy, okay?”

Brianna and Charisma swapped startled glances, wondering about everyone’s seemingly sudden need to ensure they were happy.  Then they realized it could be much worse and decided to take whatever small blessings they could find – especially since they had be given almost unwavering support from those that meant the most to both of them.  Mischief sparkled in their eyes briefly, then they both leaned forward to brush a kiss on either side of Kent’s face, smiling greatly at the blush that followed their actions.

“Thank you, Kent,” Charisma said sincerely as she met his eyes.  He nodded and cleared his throat.

“You betcha,” he replied with a smile.  “Just remember you owe me an invitation to the wedding when it happens,” he added as he dropped their hands and stood.  “Gotta go – I’ll be back tomorrow,” and without another word he saw himself out, not bothering to look back at the two flushed faces still sitting stunned at his parting words.  Kay and Okasa looked at one another then immediately away in an effort to keep their laughter in check.  After another moment Okasa cleared her throat, forcing Brianna and Charisma to glance up at her.  She noted they avoided each other’s eyes though their hands had tightened convulsively around one another’s.  Kay spoke before Okasa could.

“Lighten up, you two.  We all know it’s going to happen eventually but it’s totally up to you when it happens though and how public it becomes.”

Blue and green eyes flew to Kay’s face, observing the smirk she wore.  They couldn’t help but chuckle at her words and demeanor, and with that they relaxed.  Okasa snorted.

“Now that we’ve got that settled, I need to know what you want to do about your trip to Europe in a couple months.”  Startled eyes jumped back to hers and she cocked an eyebrow.  “Did you forget you asked me to take care of arranging that twenty years ago?”

“I didn’t think....”
“I didn’t expect....”

“Everything was taken care of years ago except the flight.  I decided to hold off on that in case you were both successful enough to travel first class this time.”  Her words garnered smiles all around and Okasa shrugged.  It was the truth, if not the entire truth.  “So you two need to talk and decide what you want to do.”

Finally Brianna and Charisma looked at one another, holding their gazes for a long time before turning back to Okasa.  “Yes, Mama,” they replied in unison, knowing they would talk about it when they were alone.  Okasa nodded.

“I’m going to go say goodnight to my grandson and then go to bed.  It’s been a long day.”

Her words were like a catalyst, and everyone rose from their places and exchanged hugs, then watched Okasa head upstairs.  Brianna turned back to Charisma.  Charisma just covered her lips with a finger and shook her head; Brianna leaned her forehead against Charisma’s and neither of them noticed when Kay slipped from the room to wait in the hall.

“Call me when you get home?”

“Of course,” Brianna assured her, kissing the finger still resting lightly on her lips.  Charisma shivered and closed her eyes.  “Goodnight, Ri.”

“Goodnight, Brianna Brianna.”


Chapter CVII

When Esmeralda closed the door behind her guests, she did so with a melancholy smile on her face.  It was becoming a regular thing for the four women to visit her as a group, and she appreciated their efforts on her behalf.  Despite the fact that the growth in Brianna’s and Charisma’s relationship was exceptionally slow, it was good to see they were making progress at last... even if it only meant they had just reached the public handholding stage.  At least it was something she could recognize as genuine headway.  Still it wasn’t enough to alleviate her own sense of loss. What she had said to Kay at their first visit had been the absolute truth.  It wasn’t that she wanted to die; it was simply that she had no will to live.  And the happiness and love they had brought into her life that day couldn’t begin to touch the loneliness and despair that was the gaping maw where her heart and soul had once resided – a cavity that only grew a little greater every single day she was apart from Saphira.

She glanced at the calendar, noting with a hint of surprise that this second ‘intervention visit’ had been four months to the day since Saphira’s passing.  Esmeralda felt her hands start to shake as she raised them to cover her mouth.  A few slow, deep breaths and the tears were pushed hack behind her eyelids again.  In some ways it had been forever, and in others it felt like it had only just happened.

She locked up the house tightly, and crossed into their bedroom... her bedroom now, she supposed idly – closing the door and moving straight to the bathroom.  Even though spring had sprung and summer was literally roaring in with both barrels, Esmeralda never felt warm anymore.  And the cooler air in the evenings tended to give her a genuine chill that made her shake down to her bones.

She ran the water as hot as she could stand it, sighing in relief when she stepped under the spray.  Esmeralda stood there for long moments, letting the warmth flow over and around her until she felt the shivers subside.  Then she bathed as quickly as she could, drying off and dressing in the overheated little room before stepping back into the cooler bedroom….

... only to stop short when she realized she was no longer alone in the house.

“Hello, Es,” Amber offered as she folded her wings neatly behind her until only the feathered arches peeked over her shoulders.  She opened her arms, stunned when Esmeralda didn’t immediately move into her embrace.  “Es?”

“Hello, Amber,” Esmeralda replied coolly, clenching her jaw to keep the tears at bay once more.

“Es?  Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Of course I am, Amber.  I’m just not sure you’re real.  Unlike my earthly family that has kept in touch with me almost daily since Saphira’s death, it feels as though my heavenly family deserted me for the last four months.  I’m not convinced you’re more than a figment of my rather vivid imagination.”  Her voice wasn’t accusatory – it was resigned.

“Oh Es – this is the first time I’ve been able to get away.  I badgered Michael until he secured permission for me to come.”  She sighed and her wings drooped behind her.  “I’ve been trying to do like you asked,” Amber said in a near-whisper.  “I’ve been trying to stay out of trouble so I could be here when you truly needed me to be.”

“And I need you now more than I have since Saphira died?” her voice a mixture of hurt and confusion.

Amber shrugged.  “I dunno.  I just know the minute I got the go-ahead from Michael, I came.  We’ve missed you, Es.  Everyone has been trying get back here.  Turq managed to wind up on probation from her efforts.”

“Should I ask?” Esmeralda asked with a chuckle, despite the tears in her eyes.

Amber blushed.  “Probably not.  I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a while before Heaven recovers.”

The tears spilled down her cheeks and Esmeralda covered her mouth.  “Oh Amber....” waiting until Amber looked up before she leaped into her arms.  Amber braced herself for the impact, then hugged Esmeralda as tightly as she dared.  With her enhanced senses, she could easily feel the frailty in the human form she held, and Amber felt the tears roll down her face.

“You promised me, Es – you promised me.”

Esmeralda gathered her courage and took a deep breath.  Then she leaned back so she could meet Amber’s eyes... the gold dimmed to a washed-out brown.  Esmeralda leaned forward just enough to brush her lips over Amber’s forehead.

“I’ve been trying too, Amber.  But my heart – it’s broken and I just don’t know how to fix it.  I don’t know how to make it better.  I miss her, Amber – I miss her so much.”

Now it was Amber’s turn to lean forward, and she did so until their foreheads were touching – keeping her arms wrapped snugly around Esmeralda.  “I was afraid of this,” she whispered.  “I told Michael....”  Amber broke off and pulled away just slightly.  “It doesn’t matter; I didn’t want to be right about this.”

“If it makes you feel better – I didn’t want you to be right either.  I just... I can feel myself slipping away, Amber.  And I don’t know how to stop it; I’m not sure I really want to.”  Esmeralda sighed and left Amber’s clasp, shivering as soon as Amber’s warmth was gone.  Without a word Amber tugged Esmeralda to the bed and tucked her in, then went around to the other side and clambered under the covers to share her warmth once more, wincing only slightly at the discomfort she felt when her wings contorted slightly to accommodate her position.  Esmeralda sighed contentedly and Amber smiled.  It wasn’t much, but given the rest she was happy for small blessings.

There was silence for a time, then Esmeralda shifted until she could look up at Amber’s face.  Amber felt the movement and glanced down.  “Es?”

“Amber, has anyone... has anyone located Saphira?”

Amber sighed and shook her head.  “No.  And that alone makes me curious.  The last time someone couldn’t be found, it was Moses, and He hid Moses because He willed it so.  I’m beginning to wonder if something similar happened to Saphira.  The only thing I don’t understand is why He would feel the need to keep her away from us.”

“Do you think He’s afraid it would become another rebellion like Lucifer led?”

Amber shrugged.  “I dunno.  It’s just peculiar, and you know how that grates on me.”

“I know,” Esmeralda offered through a yawn.  “Sorry.”

“Why?” Amber inquired affectionately.  “I know how much sleep humans need, and it’s probably worse for you with everything that’s going on.  Sleep.  I’ll stay and watch over you for as long as I can.”

Esmeralda yawned again and snuggled deeper into Amber’s hold.  “Love you, Amber.”

“Love you too, Es.”

************

“Wake up, Es,” the voice prodded gently, causing a frown to mar Esmeralda’s otherwise angelic features.  “C’mon, Sweetheart – wake up and let me see those beautiful eyes.”  Esmeralda blinked, but scrunched her eyes closed when the bright light nearly blinded her.  It had just been coming on to dark when she’d lain down with Amber.  Had she really been asleep that long?  Then she took a deep breath and stiffened even as she felt darkness fall around her.  The warmth and scent of Saphira surrounded her and the low, husky voice was her undoing.  “Es?”

“Phira?” shivering when strong arms tightened around her.  She turned in Saphira’s arms and tucked her head beneath her chin, greedily inhaling the smell that encompassed her.  “Oh God, Love – how I have missed you so!”  Then she cuddled into Saphira’s embrace and just cried.

“I’ve been here, Sweetheart – just waiting for you,” Saphira whispered.  Saphira just held Esmeralda and let her cry, praying that the sobs wracking her body would give her the relief she sought.  Saphira could feel Esmeralda’s pain, and it was nauseating.  Tears escaped blue eyes while Esmeralda cried and Saphira let them fall unchecked as she rocked her mate.

After an incalculable span of time, Esmeralda calmed and though Saphira refused to release her hold, she did ease back just enough to determine if Esmeralda had in fact fallen asleep.  What she found was a pair of green eyes swirling with pain and anger and love and devotion staring back at her.  She brushed a kiss over Esmeralda’s forehead, only a little surprised when Esmeralda pulled her head down until their lips met.

The kiss wasn’t angry or passionate, but full of love and reassurance and they let it linger for long minutes. Finally though, Esmeralda pulled back, sitting up and pushing Saphira over until she was laying flat on her back.  Esmeralda leaned over her, studying her blue eyes and resisting the touch that was urging her to meld their bodies together and just forget everything for a while.  She shook her head and Saphira blew out a frustrated breath but relented.

“What is it, Es?” she finally asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.  Esmeralda bit her lip, and let the anger that had been stirring fade into the background as her sadness moved to the forefront of her countenance.

“Why did you lie to me, Saphira?” seeing the shock widened blue eyes as the accusation rang in her ears.  “Why did you tell me you didn’t choose this?  Don’t,” she commanded softly when Saphira looked like she was going to erupt.  “You told me you had taken care of everything – that implies you made a choice to ensure I would be all right.  You told me you were no longer being punished for your actions – that means you were reinstated and moved home while I was left on Earth to suffer alone without you.”  She took a breath and allowed resignation to underscore her tone.  “What I don’t understand is why – why the charade?  Why rip my soul apart making me believe you were dead?  Why, Saphira?  What did I do that was so horrible that you couldn’t be with me anymore?”  Saphira wrapped her arms tighter around Esmeralda’s body, forcing them together while holding on for dear life.  “Saphira... I can’t breathe,” Esmeralda gasped.  Saphira loosened her hold without giving Esmeralda an opportunity to move away.

“I didn’t lie, Es.  I didn’t choose this – not to die or to be separated from you.  Es, you weren’t getting better; you were still dying.  I was desperate to make sure that wasn’t gonna happen; all I wanted to do was make sure you were gonna be okay.  I didn’t know this would be a consequence of my actions.”

“Maybe not at first, but you knew afterwards – when I met you here right after....”  She shuddered and shook her head, trying to clear it of the myriad of thoughts and feelings that rippled through her.  She couldn’t stop the memory, however.  It was still too fresh and Esmeralda let it roll to its conclusion before she met the guilt in Saphira’s eyes.  This time when she tried to pull away, Saphira let her go... but only far enough that she could look Esmeralda squarely in the eye.

“I didn’t lie, Es,” said through gritted teeth.  “I have never lied to you.”  Saphira raked a hand through her hair almost viciously, welcoming the pain as a distraction from the agony she could feel tearing them apart.  “When I talked to the Father – when I accepted responsibility for the mistake that got us both tossed from home, it was with the understanding that He would make you well again.  I couldn’t... I can’t live without you, Es and watching you continue to suffer for my actions....”  Saphira shook her head.  “I expected it meant that He’d heal you and eventually we’d get to go home again when your mission was complete.  But I never thought it would mean I had to die first... certainly not leave you behind.”  She bit her lip, but a single tear still rolled down one cheek and she wiped it away savagely.  “When He brought us together here, I was given strict instructions on what I was and was not allowed to reveal to you.  I still don’t know why; He hasn’t seen fit to share much with me since my return,” the last stated with more than a hint of bitterness.

“So you’re alive?  And you’re home?”

“Not exactly,” Saphira replied with a huff.  “I did die – the human me did anyway.  When that happened, the Angel part of me was brought here... wherever here is.  I am waiting for you to join me before I can be truly alive again.  Until we’re together, I am simply existing... marking time.”

“Then who were the others you talked to – to know that Brianna’s and Charisma’s case was so well known?  Amber said no one knows where you are and you know she’s asked around.”

“She probably hasn’t asked the cherubs though.  You know how crazy they make her just on general principal and then you add in their dangerous target practice and all, it’s not surprising she hasn’t found me.  They’re the only ones who stop by occasionally; I think He sends them periodically to check on me because no one else has been by which indicates He doesn’t want me found yet.”  Saphira shrugged.  “And they always tend to show up when I least expect them to.”

“So you’re a prisoner here?” Esmeralda’s voice almost screeching.

“More like a tenured guest.  It was indicated to me that this is only temporary, and though I don’t have any outside contact with anyone other than the sporadic cherub visit, I can still watch over you from here.  That’s enough for me.  He promised we would be together again; I have to trust that.  And until then I get to watch over you.”

Saphira reached for Esmeralda again, gratified when Esmeralda fell into her arms.  THIS had been the reaction Saphira had been waiting for and the joy she felt resonated through her soul and into Esmeralda who shuddered beneath her touch.

“Oh Saphira,” Esmeralda whispered, clinging to her mate’s warm body and committing her faith to Saphira’s strength to keep them upright.  “I’m sorry....”

“No,” Saphira replied fiercely.  “No – I should have told you that I talked to Him.  We could have talked about what it meant to both of us – maybe made a few contingency plans.”

“I should have given you a chance to explain before I accused, but I was so angry when I thought about it.”

“I guess we both could have done things a little bit differently, but Es, I don’t blame you for being angry with me.  Truth is – I was pretty furious at myself when I realized what had happened, but by then it was too late.”

“I love you, Phira... so much.”

“I love you too, Es,” Saphira reassured her with a smile.  “And nothing about that is ever gonna change except that I’ll love you more every day.”

Esmeralda blushed but couldn’t stop the sly smile that crossed her face.  “That was pretty corny, Phira.  I think you were human too long.”

“Without a doubt, Es,” Saphira agreed with a snort.  “But that doesn’t negate the truth of the sentiment and the feelings behind it.”

“Show me, Phira,” Esmeralda growled aggressively.  “I want to feel it; I want to feel you.”

Saphira didn’t need any other enticement and Esmeralda followed her to the ground.  Then there was no more talking - only feeling.

************

“If you have been here this whole time,” Esmeralda contemplated aloud sometime later, “why couldn’t I find you?  I’ve searched every night since you....”  Saphira held her tighter and Esmeralda snuggled into her embrace.

“I dunno, Es,” Saphira answered.  “I’m sure He had a reason.”

“Of course I did,” a deep voice replied, and Saphira automatically shifted them so she could cover their modesty with her wings.  He allowed them to settle before He stepped into view and both Angels lowered their eyes in respect.  The Father took a seat beside them, in their periphery but without making them feel as if He was scrutinizing them.  “It’s good to see you again, Esmeralda.”  Esmeralda bit back the retort she wanted to make and simply nodded her acceptance of His words.  He chuckled lightly.  “I know you’re angry, Es.  I’d be worried if you weren’t.  I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I needed to know you were ready – both of you.”

When He didn’t elaborate further, Saphira blew out an impatient breath, but her tone was the epitome of patience when she spoke.  “Ready for what?”

“The one request both of you have made of Me aside from the welfare of the other.”  Esmeralda and Saphira looked at one another, their expressions a conundrum of confusion.  Finally they both looked back and Him. He smiled.  “I think it’s time for you to come home, Es.  It’s time you both resume your rightful place in the hierarchy.” He offered with a smile.   Esmeralda’s eyes widened.

“What about Brianna and Charisma, Father?”

He nodded, not at all surprised by Esmeralda’s compassionate nature.  “You did well with them, Es.  They’re on their way to happiness together.  But it’s up to them now.  They have to be willing to take the steps to claim it.  If they do....”  He shrugged.  “I have high hopes for them.”

Esmeralda sighed and Saphira hugged her tighter.  “You did good, Sweetheart.  I’m so proud of you.”

The Father laughed, the sound a rumbling thunder in the quiet of the meadow.  “I’m proud of both of you.  You far surpassed my greatest expectations and you’ll be well-rewarded for it.”

“I’d be happy just to come home again,” Esmeralda murmured.  “I’m so tired.”

“I know you are, Es,” the Father said benevolently.  “Close your eyes,” noting that Saphira did the same even though He hadn’t instructed her to do so.  “Close your eyes and relax, Es.  When you open them again, you’ll be home.  Your health will be restored and you will be among my Chosen again.”

“And Saphira?”

“Saphira’s been waiting for you, Esmeralda.  When you return, so will she.”  With that assurance Esmeralda closed her eyes and waited for the world to shift around her.

************

“NO!!  No, Es!  C’mon... you can’t do this to me!  You promised!” Amber screamed when she felt Esmeralda slump against her lifelessly.  “C’mon!!” she pled.  “What am I gonna tell the rest??  Don’t do this!!” shaking the body leaning against her none too gently.

“Amber....”

Her head jerked in the direction of Michael’s voice, but she couldn’t see him for the tears in her eyes.  He stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder.  She flinched but didn’t pull away; she knew he wasn’t to blame, but it was hard not to react.

“Amber... it’s all right.  The Father called her home is all.”

“She’s not...?”

“No.  And apparently neither is Saphira.  He sent me to fetch you home.”  He grinned and Amber couldn’t help the small smile that etched itself onto her face.  Michael didn’t smile often... much less grin and she wondered what could be better than to know Saphira and Esmeralda were alive.  Then he spoke.  “He’s restoring them.  They’re resuming their places in the Family.”

“Oh Michael – seriously?”

Michael laughed aloud.  “Seriously.  And He has an announcement to make as well.  So c’mon.  We don’t want to miss this.”

“What about....?” motioning to Esmeralda’s lifeless body still tangled with her own.

“It’s just her human shell, Amber, but we need to leave it for someone to find.  It will give closure that her simply disappearing from their lives won’t.  He’s sending someone to both Charisma and Brianna to give them the idea to check on her.  When they do, they’ll find that she passed in her sleep.  I imagine you’ll be getting a phone call shortly thereafter so c’mon.  We don’t want to miss the proceedings before you have to return to being human again for a little while, right?”

Amber untangled herself from Esmeralda and reverently laid her on the bed, pulling the cover up and brushing a cheek against already cooling flesh.  Then she stood and took Michael’s hand.  “It still hurts, you know.”

“I know,” he replied sympathetically.  “But it’s not real, I promise.”

Amber nodded.  “Let’s go.  I wanna see this for myself.”  And in a blink they were gone.


Chapter CVIII

Esmeralda kept her eyes closed and her hand clasped tightly in Saphira’s even when she realized they had been whisked from the meadow.  Without seeing she could tell that they had been shunted directly into their home, and she kept her eyes closed for another moment, absorbing the scents and sounds she had missed for an eternity.  Then she felt Saphira’s arms slide around her middle and she naturally leaned into the strong body behind hers.

“Open your eyes, Es,” Saphira whispered directly into her ear.  “Open your eyes – we’re home.”

Esmeralda sucked in a deep breath, causing a smile to settle on her lips as the combined scents of home and Saphira filled her lungs.  She let her eyes blink open and meet Saphira’s, unable to keep a few tears from slipping down her cheeks.

“Tears, Sweetheart?”

Esmeralda chuckled and cupped her hand around Saphira’s jaw.  “Happy ones, Love.”  They both started when the Father cleared His throat nearby, gently reminding them of His presence.

“I’ll give you a little while to clean up and prepare yourselves, but reacquainting yourselves,” gesturing around the home they stood in, “will have to wait until after the announcement.”  He waited until they nodded their understanding, then He smiled and glided to the door.  “I’ll send a cherub for you shortly.”

“We’ll be ready, Father,” Saphira assured Him and Esmeralda bobbed her agreement.  Without another word He left them alone.  For another moment they simply stood still – soaking in the change in their reality.  “We’re home, Es.  We’re really, finally home.”

“We’re together again, Saphira.  Everything else is just a bonus as far as I’m concerned.  An amazing bonus, but....”

“... still just a bonus.  I know,” Saphira confessed with a grin.  She slid her arms down Esmeralda’s body until she could clasp her hands.  “C’mon.  I don’t know how much time we’ve got, but I don’t think it’s gonna be a lot.  And I really don’t want to attend His party naked.  That might be okay for the cherubs, but it’s not appropriate for an Angel of Vengeance.”

Esmeralda turned and brought their bodies flush, loosening her hands from Saphira’s and winding them around her neck instead.  “I don’t care if it’s appropriate for an Angel of Vengeance or not.  You’re mine and I don’t share.”

Saphira threw her head back and laughed aloud even as she pulled Esmeralda tighter into her.  “I seem to remember that about you,” Saphira stated factually.  “You’ve always lived up to those green eyes, but then I’m not known for sharing either.  Now c’mon – before we get caught naked by a cherub.”  And together they disappeared to prepare for their reception.

************

Michael had been correct if not accurate about someone alerting Charisma and Brianna about Esmeralda’s passing. Jade had been delegated to the task of ensuring they felt the need to check on her – Jade chose a more direct approach.

Knowing that Brianna and Kay were staying the night with Charisma and Okasa – they had hoped to coax Esmeralda to join them, to no avail – Jade went directly to Charisma’s home and made her way into Adam’s room.  It only took a few minutes of stroking her fingers through the dark hair before Adam’s blue eyes blinked open sleepily... then widened when he saw an Angel sitting beside him on his bed.  He reached out a hesitant hand, and Jade grasped it gently.

“Are you a real Angel?” he whispered, looking her over carefully.  “You look kinda like Phira.”

Jade blinked but otherwise gave no reaction to his words.  Instead she offered him a small smile.  “I am indeed a real Angel; Saphira was my friend.  And our Father sent me here on a special mission, but I need your help.”

“I get to be a Angel?” he asked, head cocked to one side as he gave Jade a beguiling smile.

“You get to be an Angel helper.”

Adam studied Jade’s eyes for a long moment, then nodded, satisfied with what he found there.  “’Kay.”

Jade grinned.  “Good boy,” messing up his hair slightly.  Adam just laughed and Jade laughed with him before she sobered and met his eyes seriously.  “Adam, what do you think would make Es happy again? 

“Phira,” he replied without hesitation.  “Es misses Phira.”

“You’re right.  And Es misses Phira so much that she needs to go find her and be with her again.”

“Es is going ‘way?”

Jade nodded.  “Es is going away so she and Phira can be together.”

“And Es will be happy again?”

“Es will be happy again.”

“Good.  Love Es – love Phira.”

“And they love you.  You were a very special blessing to them, and they will always hold you very dear in their hearts.”  Adam frowned and Jade waited while he considered her words carefully.  Only when he nodded his understanding did she speak again.  “Close your eyes.”  He scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Adam, you have to close your eyes so I can tell you how to be an Angel helper.  It won’t work otherwise.”  He pouted, then relented, closing his eyes so tightly they were crunched shut.  Jade smirked and began running her hands through his hair again, feeling him relax into her touch.  Just before he fell back into sleep, Jade leaned down and whispered into his ear.  “When you wake up, tell your mama about your Angel dream.”

“’Kay,” he mumbled sleepily.  Jade waited another minute until she was certain he was asleep again, then she left as silently as she’d come.

************

“So do you think the Father’s announcement is about us being restored to the Family?” Esmeralda asked as she extended her wings fully for the first time in ages.  The groan she made was almost orgasmic, but Saphira understood it was simply relief in being able to unfurl a part of her that had been tucked away for so long, Esmeralda had forgotten what it felt like.  She stretched them to their fullest until they shook with the effort.  Only then did she let them fall naturally behind her and turn to face Saphira directly.  Saphira shrugged as she adjusted her robes.

“I guess.  I’m not sure what we both requested.  The only thing I ever really asked for that I can think of was for you to be restored to health.  As much as I wanted to come home, I never asked for it.”  She shrugged again.  “I guess we’ll find out in a few minutes.”

Esmeralda tipped her head to one side.  “You don’t seem very excited... or very curious, for that matter.”

“I’m not.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m glad to be home and thrilled about being restored to my place in the grand scheme of things, I guess.  But I’ve done without both so it’s not something I HAVE to have anymore.  I have you again and as long as I never have to ever be without you again, it’s all good.”

Esmeralda reached up and brushed a kiss over Saphira’s cheek.  “I love you,” she said simply.

Saphira lifted her up and Esmeralda automatically wrapped her legs around Saphira’s waist.  “Good thing,” Saphira stated, smiling when Esmeralda tangled her hands in long, dark tresses.  “I love you too,” urging Esmeralda closer....

... only to freeze when an embarrassed cough sounded from the doorway.  “<Ahem> If the two of you can pull yourselves away from one another long enough to join us, the Father is ready and the rest of heaven is waiting.”

Saphira and Esmeralda exchanged a long glance as Esmeralda slid back to the floor.  Saphira extended her hand and squeezed tightly when Esmeralda clasped hers.  “Fine, Rudy,” Saphira said with a smirk and a hint of exasperation in her tone though her eyes were twinkling in merriment.  “If everyone is waiting on us, I suppose we should go,” shooing him ahead of them.  “Lead on,” she commanded when he hesitated.  “We don’t want to keep everyone waiting.”  With a nod the cherub scampered out in front of them and then they were heading to the Father’s throne. 

It was a soundless walk – apparently Rudy hadn’t been kidding when he said the rest of heaven was waiting for them.  No one was out – the streets of gold were empty; the choir loft was silent; no cherubs were at practice; even the saints had apparently retired to their mansions.  Saphira and Esmeralda looked at one another, but they didn’t have any answers and Rudy was intent on getting them into the Father’s presence as quickly as possible.

In another moment, they were standing in front of the second set of Pearly Gates – these guarded the throne room instead of the entrance to heaven.  Rudy came to a stop and turned to face them.  “Wait here – and no funny business.  I need to announce you.”

“But He knows....”

“Of course HE knows, but the rest don’t. Now wait here.”  Then he disappeared inside the gates.

Esmeralda frowned and looked at Saphira who was scowling hard enough to peel the opalescent finish from the gates.  “He’s awfully bossy for a cherub.”

Saphira couldn’t stop the snort that escaped her and they both snickered.  “This is probably the most important task he’s ever been assigned.  I suppose I can’t blame him for taking it so seriously.”

“Maybe... but a please would have gone a long way.”

Saphira snickered, biting her lip to keep it from becoming full-fledged laughter.  “Maybe you should ask about instituting manners training for those that don’t interact with mankind like you do.  I don’t think they appreciate the niceties in the same way.”

“A little courtesy doesn’t hurt.”

Saphira held up her hands in surrender.  “No argument from me, Love.  The world would be a much nicer place if everyone felt the same.”

Before Esmeralda could make any kind of retort, the gates pushed open and Rudy was beckoning them inside with a broad smile.  “Welcome home, you two,” he said quietly.  Then they crossed the threshold and entered a cacophony of sound that was nearly deafening.  Their hands tightened around one another and they moved forward together.  It was time to return to the Family.

************

Their laughter wound down and Charisma looked around.  “I’m glad we did this again.  I just wish we could get Es to join us.  I think it would do her a world of good.”

Kay sighed.  “You know she’s not going to get better, Charisma – right?”

“You can’t know that,” Charisma ground out, trying desperately not to lash out at Kay in anger.  If Brianna was going to remain in her life – and Charisma was determined to make that a permanent fact sooner rather than later – then she needed to stop resenting Kay and try to be friends with her.  But it was really hard... especially now when Kay was the voice of reason telling Charisma something she definitely didn’t want to hear.  And despite what she’d told Adam only a couple weeks before, Charisma didn’t want to believe that Esmeralda was dying.

“I can... and I do,” Kay said with resignation.  Some days she hated her job, and today was the epitome of that emotion.  “I don’t want to be right, but this is what I do for a living, Charisma.  And Es is so honest she’s an easy read.  Her will to live died when Saphira did.  It’s simply a matter of her body catching up with her soul.”

“That’s not....”

“Fair?  Right?” Kay asked sympathetically.  “Maybe not from our point of view.  But we’re selfish and want to keep Es with us for as long as possible.  But from her point of view it’s not right or fair that she’s had to be apart from her mate for so long.  The best we can do is spend as much time with her as we can manage so her last memories are of being with family who loves and cares for her.”

“That’s hard when most of us are in another state,” Okasa commented.  Kay nodded her concurrence.  “We’ll do the best we can... keep doing these bi-weekly get-togethers for whatever time we have left with her.”  She looked at Kay.  “Do you have any idea...?”

Kay shook her head.  “There’s no way to tell.  Unlike a physical ailment, there aren’t any monitors we can hook her to or any reading we can take.  It all depends on how strong her will is, and I don’t think Es’ will is very strong as far as this goes.  She’s been worn down by so many other things for too long.”

“I wish I knew how to contact her family – Amber and Ruby.  They just disappeared after the funeral, and although Es was understanding about it I know it hurt her,” Brianna said.

“Maybe we should ask for her contact information when we see her again – you know... just in case.  If something happens, we need to be able to get in touch with them,” Charisma remarked and the rest dipped their heads in accord.

“Do we want to go over again tomorrow?” Okasa asked.  “We don’t want her to feel like we’re smothering her.”

“Mama?”  The voice from the doorway caused all four women to snap their heads around; Brianna patted Charisma’s hands and rose before Charisma could move.  She walked to the doorway and knelt next to him.  Adam threw his arms around her neck and she lifted him into her arms and stood.

“Hey Little Man – aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”  He yawned and rubbed his eyes furiously.  “Did you have a bad dream?”  He shook his head as much as he could with it tucked under her chin and Brianna frowned.  “Then what’s wrong, Son?” not noticing the smiles her choice of address brought to the three faces watching in concern.

“Angel said....”  He yawned again and smacked his lips.  “Angel said Es with Phira now.  Es happy again,” he reported, snuggling deeper into Brianna’s embrace.  She tightened her hold even as she turned her alarmed gaze to the others in the room.  They stood almost as a single unit and approached her from all sides.  She leaned her head down and whispered into Adam’s ears.

“Adam?  Son, can you hear me?”

“Love Br’anna,” he mumbled but didn’t open his eyes.  Brianna sighed but a nod from Charisma made her whisper again.

“Adam, when did you talk to the Angel?”  But the only answer they got from him was the soft, even breaths of sleep.  She looked at Charisma and shook her head.  Charisma looked at Kay and Okasa before returning her attention back to Brianna. 

“I think we should go check... just in case.  How about if Kay and I go?”  Brianna started to object, then realized Charisma might want to talk to Kay privately.  And as nervous as that made Brianna, she knew they needed to form their own friendship outside of her if they were ever to become truly comfortable together – something she and Kent were going to have to work on as well.

“All right,” she acquiesced.  “Okasa and I will tuck Adam back into bed.  Call when you get there?”

Charisma leaned over and brushed their lips together without thought, then froze.  She hadn’t intended their first kiss to be so casual or in front of an audience.  “Um....”

“Go,” Brianna commanded.  “We’ll talk about that when you get home.”

“Um....”

Kay snickered and turned Charisma towards the door.  “C’mon, Senator.  I’m pretty sure you want to have that conversation as soon as possible in great length and with enthusiasm.  The sooner we get your brain cells back on track and see about Es, the sooner you can come home and try that again without your son between you and an audience around.”

“Kay,” Brianna said sternly.  “Stop teasing Charisma and go check on Es.  One of you call us once you know something.”

Kay frowned but bobbed her head as she and Charisma made their way to the garage.  “I’d forgotten how bossy she gets,” she muttered as she climbed into the passenger seat.  Charisma chuckled.

“It’s good to know some things never change.”  Then she pulled out of the garage and turned the SUV towards Esmeralda’s house.

************

The house was dark and silent when they arrived, and they stared at one another with apprehension before exiting the SUV and walking to the door.  Charisma knocked and rang the bell, but there was no response.  Kay took her phone out – they could hear the phone inside ringing, but there was no sound to indicate anyone was home to answer it.  They looked at one another before Charisma lifted the potted plant neat the door to swipe the extra key.

“Are you sure, Charisma?”

Charisma nodded.  “Yes.  Something’s not right; we both know that.  If Es is just sleeping deep, she’ll forgive us; if not, we need to know.”

“All right,” Kay said, stepping aside.  “You want me to...?” 

Charisma shook her head.  “No.  I think this is something I need to do,” sliding the key into the lock and opening the door.  “Es?” she called out.  “Es?  It’s Charisma.  It’s Charisma and Kay.”  They poked their heads into the living room and the kitchen before reaching the bedroom.  The minute Charisma opened that door, they knew.  But they crossed to the bed so they could check to be sure, tears welling when they saw the smile that graced Esmeralda’s face in death.

“I think she found Saphira,” Kay commented as she put the phone to her ear.  Charisma nodded but didn’t answer, then Kay’s attention was taken explaining the situation to Brianna.  “Don’t speed,” Kay cautioned Brianna.  “We’ll be here, but you need to get here safely, all right?” nodding when Brianna replied in the affirmative.  Kay hung up and turned to Charisma.  “Okasa is going to call the authorities in a few minutes and she’s going to stay with Adam.  Brianna is on her way over, and I’ll head out when she arrives.  I figure the two of you would like to say goodbye alone.”

“Thank you,” Charisma said quietly.  “Thank you for understanding and for....  I want you to know that I’m trying, Kay.  I know you’re important to Bri and that makes you important to me.  I would like to try to be friends, but you’re going to have to be patient with me.  I’m selfish sometimes and I don’t share very well – I never have.  And I don’t always like being told the truth even if it’s something I need to hear.”

Kay smiled.  “Do you love her, Charisma?”

“Heart and soul, Kay.”

“That’s all I need to know.  The rest we can figure out as we go along.”  She saw bright lights turn into the drive.  “Gotta go.”  She walked down the steps and intercepted Brianna, taking her keys and whispering something before getting into Brianna’s vehicle and leaving.  Brianna met Charisma in the doorway, and they embraced for a long moment before Brianna stepped back slightly and grasped Charisma hand. 

“C’mon.  Time to say our goodbyes before this place becomes a circus.”

Part 19