Chapter LXXIX

It had taken longer than she anticipated for Charisma to get all the loose ends taken care of before she was able to send her staff home for the rest of the day.  So it was mid-afternoon by the time she was able to lock her study and go into the family room where her son was currently playing some game while Kent sat beside him pointing out various parts that might be helpful.  Charisma stood in the doorway just watching them until Kent caught her profile out of the corner of his eye.  He leaned down and whispered something to Adam.  Adam dropped the controller and ran pell-mell towards Charisma.  She leaned down and scooped him into her arms.

“Look Mama!  I winning!” pointing to the television.

“I see that,” Charisma chuckled.  “Good job Son!”

“Mama’s big boy.”

“You sure are.”  She set him down and he ran back to take his spot in front of the big screen. Kent got to his feet slowly and moved to sit in one of the recliners with a barely contained groan.  Charisma smirked.  “You sound like you’re getting old.”

Kent snorted.  “There’s no ‘getting’ to it.  I’m already there and I should know better than to get down on the floor like that.  I have to get back up and that gets harder everyday,” shaking his head in disgust.  Charisma laughed lightly though she didn’t make any effort to dispute his claim.  Instead she took a seat in the other recliner, and they sat silently watching Adam play his video game – a silence only broken by Adam himself once in a while when he got excited enough to cheer or point things out to them.  This lasted for a few minutes before Adam’s attention shifted to one of his favorite storybooks.  Then Kent turned and tapped Charisma on the hand as the silence lengthened and started to become awkward.  She started with the touch, then faced him with an eyebrow arched in question.

“I was just thinking,” he said without preamble.  “When was the last time we just sat together like this?  Was it the Christmas after Adam was born?”

Charisma bit her lip and scrunched her forehead in thought. “I think it might have been.  We’ve always been busy, on-the-go people.  We’ve never slowed down for much.”

Kent nodded his head in acknowledgement of the truth of her words.  Even when they had been dating, very little time had been devoted to just being.  When they’d gone out it was to be seen together and that had lasted until Adam had been born.  After that event they’d rarely gone out together in an effort to keep Adam’s face out of the press.  He glanced to see that their son was completely preoccupied with his book, then lowered his voice and spoke.

“Do you think we’d still be together if Adam hadn’t been born?”

“Do you?” Charisma responded instantly.  “You’re the one that filed for the separation, Kent, so you tell me.”

He held her eyes and slowly shrugged his shoulders after a moment’s consideration.  “I think probably we would since one of our major reasons for getting married was to produce a child.”  He paused.  “I don’t think we’d be any better of a couple though so probably no happier under the circumstances.”

“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned happiness as being a reason for this separation.  Are you that unhappy, Kent?”

“I don’t think I’m unhappy at all,” he replied honestly.  “But I’m not happy either.  I am....”  He hesitated while he searched for the right word.  “I’m content – I think we both are.  But I’d like to be happy, and I’d like to see you happy too.”  Charisma nodded slowly.  “Not to change the subject,” he continued before she could speak, “but why are you still here anyway?” looking pointedly at his watch.

Her eyebrows flew into her hairline and Charisma gave him and incredulous look.  “Excuse me?? I live here, Kent.  This is my home – where else would I be?”

Kent snorted.  “Yeah... that didn’t come out right.  What I meant was – isn’t there some sort of party or cocktail hour or dinner you should be attending this evening?  There usually is a social mixer you attend this time of day – especially with Congress reconvening tomorrow.”

“There are several actually – two cocktail parties, a dinner party and at least one gathering for after-dinner drinks.”

“Okay,” Kent finally said when he realized she wasn’t going to add anything else.  “So you’re not going out because...?”

“I didn’t make plans to go to any of them.  I wasn’t sure when I’d be back in town, and I wasn’t going to rush my visit with my family.  I see them so little as it is.”  Then she noticed the sad expression in Kent’s eyes.  “What is it?” she asked, tilting her head.

“We’ve never done that,” Kent replied, taking as much blame as he was placing.  “We’ve never made any kind of extra effort to spend time with one another.  That should have clued me in to reality long before Brianna Walker stepped back into your sphere.  I guess it was too easy to ignore it just to maintain the status quo.”

“So I should blame her for all this?” motioning around the room vaguely, a hint of heat in her tone.

“NO.”  Kent’s answer was firm and vehement.  “WE are to blame for what has transpired between us... for better or for worse.  Her reappearance was just the catalyst I needed to face the truth of what we are... what we have always been – friends... co-parents... roommates.  I want more, Charisma!  I want the brass ring; I want everything!  Don’t you??”

“Mama?” Adam queried from the floor, looking at her with a frown.  Charisma opened her arms and he ran into them, cuddling into her just like he’d done earlier with Brianna.  Kent sighed.  He felt he’d been on the verge of a breakthrough with her, but of course Adam’s needs came first.  Kent reached for Adam, and Charisma tightened her grip for a moment before reluctantly releasing Adam to his father.

“C’mon, Boy.  Pa’s gotta go catch the train so I can get back to work.  You can walk me to the door, okay?”

“Mama come too?”

“Yeah, Mama can come too,” holding out his hand to Charisma and helping her rise from her seat before letting go.  Then they headed out of the family room towards the front door.  Kent hugged Adam and savored the joy of being hugged back.  Then Adam cradled his face and leaned their foreheads together, laughing aloud when Kent crossed his eyes.

“You sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?” Charisma invited as she witnessed their interaction.  Despite everything and no matter what happened between them from here on out, she was glad she and Kent had shared enough of their lives together to have been blessed with Adam.  She had a feeling he might be their saving grace.  “I thought you didn’t have to go back until late tonight.”

Kent smiled and gave Adam a kiss that he returned wholeheartedly.  Then Kent leaned him in Charisma’s direction, and Adam shifted into her arms without hesitation.  “I’m sure.  We’ll set up some kind of schedule for me to visit soon, but I think it’s time for me to go for tonight.  You’ve got a lot of things to think about and consider and work starts up again full steam for you tomorrow.  Besides, by the time I get to the station and get squared away, it should be about time for my train to leave.  Call me if you need me, all right?”

“I will,” though they both knew something drastic would have to happen to Adam before Charisma would make that particular call.  “And I’ll let you know,” gesturing in the direction of the study where the separation papers were safely tucked away.

“Take your time and think about it, Charisma.  I want you to make the right decision for everyone involved.”

She nodded but didn’t answer him verbally.  Instead she held the door when he opened it, then whispered in Adam’s ear.  Adam waved goodbye frantically.  “Bye Pa!!” his enthusiasm bringing a smile to both adult countenances.

“Bye Boy... be a good boy for Mama, all right?  I’ll be back again before you know it.”

“Love Pa!”  This time the words brought tears to Kent’s eyes, but he smiled and traded glances with Charisma.

“Love you too, Boy.”  Then he was out the door and back in the rental car.  Charisma opened the gate for him and waited for his taillights to disappear out of the drive before she closed it and locked up the house for the night.  There was much to consider, but as Kent had pointed out, they had time.  And tonight she planned to spend that time with her son.  She could worry about the future tomorrow.

************

The knock on the door brought Charisma’s head up with a jerk.  The first day back at work after the extended holiday was always something of a strain, and this year it was compounded by a number of other factors all pressing into her consciousness for consideration.  Still she and her staff had been kept remarkably busy taking care of the business of the Senate; even now she was engrossed in reading the amendments to several bills that had been presented in chambers that day.  So the sound of a knock on her door this late in the evening startled her out of the bubble she’d encapsulated herself in.

“Come in?” blinking rapidly as she tried to orient her vision to the lights that were suddenly flipped on, then smiling in genuine welcome when Esmeralda stuck her head in the door.  “ES!!” she exclaimed, rising from her seat and moving around the desk to give Esmeralda a hug.  Though they’d spoken on the phone regularly during the holidays, nothing was quite as reassuring as seeing one another face-to-face.  Charisma gently grasped Esmeralda’s arms when the hug was over and checked her over carefully from head to toe and back again.  When she met Esmeralda’s eyes, she grinned in response to the one she was getting.  “You look wonderful,” Charisma offered.  “I guess your time off was exactly what you needed.  How do you feel?”

Esmeralda smiled.  “I feel really good... like a new woman almost.  Maybe whatever was hanging on before is finally gone.”

“We’ll hope so,” Charisma added fervently.  “It stayed around long past its welcome.  And how is Saphira?”

Now Esmeralda’s smile became radiant and her eyes glowed with an almost heavenly light.  “She’s amazing as always.  Even though she was working hard during most of the holiday season, there’s a joy to her now; a peace I haven’t seen in her for a very long time.”

“A lot of that has to do with you feeling better, I’ll bet.”

Esmeralda chuckled.  “No bet from me.  Pretty sure I watched that particular burden slide from her shoulders a little more each day as I’ve gotten noticeably better.”  She turned to her cart and began gathering her supplies.  “And how are things with you?”

“Kent filed for separation.”

The statement was so calm and matter-of-fact that Esmeralda had to reign in the impulse to whirl around.  Instead she finished collecting the things she needed and setting them out in the order they would be used before clutching her duster and turning to face Charisma.  “Okay then,” she offered slowly.  “And how do you feel about it?”

Charisma walked around her desk and resumed her seat, propping her elbow on the chair arm and her chin on her fingers as she studied Esmeralda thoughtfully.  Esmeralda remained quiet, continuing her work around the office while Charisma pondered the question.

“You know something?  I don’t think I do... feel anything about it, I mean.  I’m mostly ambivalent about the whole thing at this point.  I thought about getting angry, but why?  Kent made some good points, and as unsettling for me as this is I’d like him to find happiness.  He’s a good man and a good father – he deserves to be happy.”

“And you?”

Charisma shook her head and though tears flooded her eyes, she refused to let them fall.  She took a cleansing breath before she spoke.  “I missed my chance for happiness both times it was offered to me.  I don’t think there’ll be a third opportunity.”

“And if there was?”

“I’d grab it with both hands and never let go.”

“Just remember you said that, Charisma.”

Charisma snorted.  “Your faith is far greater than mine, my friend.”

“Perhaps.  But being optimistic can’t hurt, right?”

“I love you, Es.  Don’t you ever go changing.  Oh... before I forget, let’s plan to get together again soon.  I think Adam misses you both.  I know I do.”

“You give us a time and place and we’ll be there.”

“Not this weekend because Kent is coming back to town so we can work out a schedule for him to visit Adam.  He wants to take him to the Natural History Museum.  How about the following weekend?”

“As far as I know, we’re free.  I’ll talk to Saphira and let you know tomorrow, all right?”

“Sounds good,” Charisma agreed.  “Let me get out of your hair so you can get done and go meet her.  I’m sure she’s anxiously waiting to hear how your first day back was.”

Esmeralda laughed.  “Actually she’s less anxious now than she was when I returned a few months ago.  She can see the difference in my health.  But I imagine she is a little less than patient in her waiting.  Poor Matilda.”

Charisma smiled. “I don’t know – I think Matilda probably has a pretty good handle on things.”

Esmeralda smirked.  “You’re probably right.”  She continued working as Charisma shut down her computer and gathered up the stacks of paper the day’s session had earned her.  Charisma made a quick call, then picked up her briefcase.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Es?”

“I should be here,” she commented with a smile.  “Have a good night, Senator.”

Charisma stuck out her tongue at the formal address.  “You too.”  She left the office and Esmeralda finished up her work in short order.  Then she moved down the hall to Brianna’s office.  It was completely dark, and Esmeralda moved swiftly through the outer office in the hope that Brianna was simply waiting in the dark for her arrival.  When her knock wasn’t answered, however, she figured that she was wishing in vain – a fact that was confirmed when she opened the door to an empty office.

Esmeralda turned on the lights and looked around slowly.  Everything was in place, except....  Esmeralda frowned.  The pictures had been rearranged slightly as though Brianna was making room for a new set.  Esmeralda nodded to herself.  Opal had mentioned there should be new pictures from Brianna’s trip to Dubai.  Otherwise everything seemed pretty much the same.

She got out the tools of her trade and slowly made her way around the room, straightening as she dusted.  It was only when she got to Brianna’s desk that she realized what was different.

Aside from the note that rested prominently in the middle of the otherwise empty blotter, the Waterford frame that held the picture of Brianna and Charisma at the Trevi Fountain was gone.  Esmeralda found it interesting that she hadn’t replaced the picture with something else – instead Brianna had simply removed the entire memory.

She wondered if Brianna had simply removed it from public view and tucked it into one of the desk drawers.  She made a mental note to ask Indi and Coral when she saw them because she was unwilling to risk the trust and friendship she had established with Brianna to rummage through her desk.

Esmeralda turned her attention to the sheet of paper that had her name across the top in big, bold letters.  Obviously Brianna was eager to make sure Esmeralda found the note.  Esmeralda tilted her head and picked the letter up to read it, then smiled.

    Esmeralda, (it read)

    I’m not here – clearly – but not because I am trying to avoid you.  I missed lunch today and decided I needed a piece of Matilda’s chocolate cake to fill the gaping chasm my empty belly has become in the intervening hours since dinner last night.  And before you start scolding... yes, I will actually have some dinner to go with my dessert.  Do you really think Matilda - or Saphira for that matter - would let me get away with anything else?  Honestly, sometimes it’s like having another Okasa or two in my life – not that that’s a bad thing.  For a kid who grew up with no real parental interest, having so many at this point in my life is something I consider a blessing... mostly.
    I did try holding out until you arrived, but when I felt my blood sugar drop unexpectedly I decided it would be in my best interest to go ahead and call the day done... especially since I know you’ll go straight to the diner when you’re done here.
    Anyway I’ll be at Angel’s when you get there.   I have some great new pictures to share with you and Saphira.

    B.

Esmeralda chuckled and tucked the note into her pocket.  Then she resumed her work, ready to get to the diner.

************

When the bell jingled, Saphira looked at the door as a matter of course... only to rush to Brianna’s side when she recognized her face and saw the pallor lurking beneath the new tan she sported.  Without a word she led Brianna to a place at the counter and immediately poured her a glass of milk. 

“Drink,” she instructed, and Brianna did so with alacrity, sighing when the cold milk hit her empty stomach.  Then she winced and clutched her head.

“Brain freeze,” she mumbled, waiting for it to pass before raising the glass to her lips again and finishing off her milk.  Then she sighed in satisfaction again and smiled at Saphira.  “That hit the spot.  Thank you.”

“Good... so what can I get you to eat?”

Brianna frowned.  “How did you know?”

“You’ve got that same hungry look in your eye as you had the night you stumbled in here lost.”  Brianna narrowed her eyes and Saphira chuckled and held up her hands.  “I’m a waitress, Brianna.  I know what hungry looks like.”

“Smartass,” Brianna grumbled but gave Saphira a smile.  “I’ll have the special.... wait,” she qualified, looking around the small restaurant.  “It’s not liver and onions is it?  I hate liver and onions.”

Saphira wrinkled up her nose in disgust.  “EW... doesn’t everyone??  No, it’s not liver and onions – I don’t think that’s been on the menu since I started working here.  Tonight’s meatloaf.”

Brianna smiled and nodded.  “I like meatloaf.  I’ll have the special and a BIG slice of Matilda’s chocolate cake.”

“And to drink?”

“I’ll stick with milk.”

Saphira nodded and slid the order to Joe, then refilled Brianna’s glass.  “Won’t be but a couple minutes,” she promised.  “And in the meantime you can tell me why you’re really here.  I figured you’d wait to see Es tonight.”

“That was the original plan, but sometimes plans change,” Brianna offered with a sad smile.  “Besides, I thought I’d share my latest pictures with both of you together.  That way I don’t have to bore Es twice.”

Saphira laughed.  “Fair enough,” turning to grab Brianna’s plate as Joe passed it to her.  She set it in front of Brianna with the admonishment, “You get started, and I’ll be back.”  Then she moved to check on her other customers, willing Esmeralda to hurry with her work and get to the diner.


Chapter LXXX

“So Dubai was a good choice then?” Esmeralda asked as she accepted another glass of milk from Saphira. She covered Saphira’s hand with her own and squeezed lightly; Saphira lifted their clasped hands to her lips and brushed Esmeralda’s knuckles with a kiss.  All this was done unconsciously as far as Brianna could tell – they never broke eye contact with her.  She cleared her throat to remove any trace of tears from her voice.

“It was a fantastic choice,” she enthused.  “I don’t know what made Indi choose it, but it was fabulous.  I tried to bring my masseuse Ramon back with me, but his wife strenuously objected... mostly because she couldn’t get away to come with him,” Brianna added with a little laugh.  Esmeralda and Saphira both chuckled.  “I figured he could make a mint with all the tension in this town.”

“The town would probably fall apart without it,” Saphira mumbled, then yelped when Esmeralda pinched her.  “Whaaaaaat?” she added in a whine.  “I’m just saying.”

“Yes, well don’t just saying.  It would be nice if the world could live without stress and tension for a week.  Maybe they’d figure out how to play nicer together.”

“It’s a nice dream, Es, but I don’t think real life works that way,” Brianna said.  “But it’s so good to see you’re feeling better.  You really had us worried there for a while.  Guess you just needed some extended rest, huh?”

“I guess,” Esmeralda agreed slowly.  “Personally I was beginning to think it might take a miracle so if that’s not what this is, then He provided grace in His own way and His own time.”

“I’m glad your faith proved out, my friend.  Even though you’ve been in my life just a short time, you’d have left a big hole if something had happened to you.  And what would that have done to Saphira?” seeing the blood drain from both faces.  Before she could say anything to make things better, however, Matilda came in from the back cheering enthusiastically.

“Oh, Esmeralda... when Joe called, I wanted to rush right over.  But I was helping my grandson make cookies to take to his school tomorrow; it’s his birthday, you know. Stand up and let me look at you,” Matilda commanded without missing a beat, spinning Esmeralda around slowly, then circling her again while she studied her up and down.  “Look at me – how are you feeling?  And don’t lie to me – I’ll know.”

“I feel good, Matilda.  Better than I have in a long time.”

“So the rest did you good then?”

“The rest did me great, Matilda.  I feel made over.”

“You look it too.  And you,” turning her attention to Brianna, “where did the tan come from in the middle of all this cold and snow?”

“The beach,” Brianna replied with a teasing smirk.  “There are these really cool inventions called airplanes – they’ll take you away from the cold and snow and into the warmth of the sun.  They’ll also bring you back to the cold and snow, but I’m working on changing that.”

Matilda laughed.  “You, young missy, are nothing but a genuine troublemaker.  Now,” looking around at the three younger women, “have you three had dinner?”  Seeing everyone nod she smiled.  “Good – then it’s time for all of you to get on home and get to bed... you especially,” pointing a finger in Esmeralda’s direction.  “It’s only Monday, and you’ve got the rest of the week to go before you get another day off.  So let’s go....” shooing them in the direction of the door.  “There’s always tomorrow if you want to continue your conversation.”

They couldn’t really argue; the diner was closed and had been for a while.  And no one including Esmeralda wanted to see her health fail again.  So they slowly donned their cold weather clothing and walked towards the door.  Matilda took Esmeralda aside for a moment, and Brianna and Saphira moved ahead to give them privacy.  Brianna held out a folded bill to Saphira who recoiled sharply from it.  Brianna calmly intercepted her hand and curled the money into her palm.

“Saphira, I know we’re friends, and I appreciate that facet of my life more than you could possibly understand right now.  But I also know that a majority of your income is derived from the tips you make working in this diner as a waitress.  Please don’t turn down money you’ve earned because of your pride.  If Es is right and He is watching, I don’t want there to be a mark against either of us because of something like this.”

Saphira frowned.  “Why would there be a mark against you?  It’s my pride.”

“And isn’t there a Bible verse somewhere that compels us to not be beholden to anyone... to pay our debts?  You took care of me again, Saphira; let me make some sort of contribution towards the time and effort that took.  The friendship part I can only repay with my own.”

Saphira took a deep breath.  “That was very sneaky and underhanded,” she commented with a wry grin.  “We are happy to have your friendship, Brianna – your acceptance of us means so much.  As for the money... well, I certainly wouldn’t want to be responsible for a black mark on your record so I will just say thank you and add it to the jar that is going towards paying off Esmeralda’s medical bills.”

“Are there many?”

“Many what?” Esmeralda asked as she joined them in the doorway.  They waved goodbye to Matilda and walked out of the diner together.  Brianna had dismissed her car so they all headed towards the closest Metro station.  Esmeralda and Saphira silently agreed to see Brianna home before they went to their own.

“Cousins,” Brianna said without missing a beat.  “You’ve mentioned large families but no siblings.”

Esmeralda blinked.  She didn’t really think they had been discussing their families, but it was a legitimate question.  If something else was going on, Saphira would share the details with her when they got home.  She cleared her throat.

“Oh... well, yes – there are quite a few actually although Saphira does have a sister.”

“Oh that’s right – I had forgotten.”  Brianna closed her eyes in thought.  “Amber, wasn’t it?”

Saphira wrinkled her nose.  “That’d be her,” gently guiding the two smaller women towards the correct platform.  Brianna stopped walking and looked at them in bemusement when she realized they were accompanying her instead of going to their own train.

“You know, guys... I’m a big girl.  I can take care of myself.”

Saphira just held her eyes.  “You remember those marks we were talking about earlier?  Do you know how big and black the one I’d get would be if we let you go wandering around down here by yourself when it would only take a few minutes of our time to see you safely home??”

“That was very sneaky and underhanded,” Brianna commented with a wry grin. 

Saphira chuckled.  “I know; I learned from the best,” sketching a half-bow in Brianna’s direction.

“So the two of you are going to share with me exactly what I am missing here, right?” Esmeralda growled....

... only to suck in a breath when a stranger seemed to deliberately run into Brianna.  He knocked her off-balance and it was only Esmeralda’s swift action in reaching out that kept Brianna from hitting the concrete face first.  That was about all he had time to do as Esmeralda’s gasp had spurred Saphira to action.  Before he could open his mouth to say a word, he was face down on the ground with his arms wrenched so far up his back he couldn’t whimper without causing himself excruciating pain.  Brianna immediately found a law enforcement officer and then the real circus began.

************

It was closer to daylight than dark when Esmeralda and Saphira dragged themselves into the house to be met by every member of their household except for those on duty.  They looked at each other and then at the rest before Esmeralda turned her attention to Ruby.

“Ruby??  Is everything okay?”

Ruby blew out an unsteady breath.  “That was going to be our question – are you two all right?  Coral gave us a quick rundown, but....”

“She did?  When?”

“Just a little while ago – probably right before you left the police station because it was right after Brianna called Jas to come pick you all up from there.  I’m still not completely clear on what happened tonight... only that there was some kind of trouble.”

“Were you up all night?”

“I started to be,” Ruby answered honestly.  “When you were late I considered staying up to wait for you.  Then I realized that if something was wrong and you weren’t late taking care of Angel business, I could do more good if I got some sleep last night and covered for Saphira today.  Don’t even,” she added fiercely with a look in Saphira’s direction.  Saphira held up her hands in surrender and Ruby knew whatever had happened, it had been hellacious for Saphira to capitulate so easily.  She turned back to Esmeralda with concerned eyes.  “So?”

“So it should already be on the news and in the early edition of the paper.  Some punk kid tried to mug Brianna – Saphira put a stop to it.”

“Then why does she look like she just ran a marathon in her mortal body carrying a sack of gold bars in each hand?” Opal asked, ignoring the glare she got from Saphira.

“Because the rescue was easy. The paperwork on the other hand....”

“Hell is not fire and brimstone,” Saphira growled, drawing surprised looks from all the Angels who had indeed witnessed the fire and brimstone of Hell.  They waited for her to continue.  “It’s drowning in government paperwork that has to be filled out in triplicate.”  She looked at Esmeralda.  “I’m glad I didn’t go with my first instinct and kill that idiot.  I’d still be doing the paperwork to get out of that place while I suffocated under the weight of it.” 

The rest laughed at her description and Saphira stuck out her tongue.  Esmeralda looked around at them with tired eyes.  “Brianna is safe.  She refused to stay here saying we needed to sleep and she needed to get ready for work.”

Indi snorted. “Is she crazy??”

“We prefer to think of her as dedicated no matter how nuts we consider her to be at the moment.  However, she is going to work for at least part of the day today so you all will need to be there as well.  If you will excuse Saphira and me, we’re going to bed as well.  I’d hate to undo all that recuperation with one night of excitement, and I’m really tired.  I don’t need to tell you to keep your eyes peeled and your ears open.”

Everyone shook their heads and waited for Esmeralda and Saphira to enter their room and close the door behind them before they stirred... ready to start another day.

************

“Senator? Senator Walker has entered the building.”  Opal’s voice was calm as it came over the speakerphone in Charisma’s office.  Charisma jerked her head in the direction of her desk and scowled.

“Are you certain, Opal?”  Surely Brianna had needed to sleep after the night she’d had.

“Yes ma’am,” Opal replied without hesitation.  “Turq just called me and said her car had just pulled up.  Apparently Senator Walker’s driver called ahead and asked for some help to get through the press presence that’s gathered around outside.”

Charisma closed her eyes and breathed deeply to will herself to calmness.  When she had heard the news that morning, Charisma’s first instinct had been to rush over to Brianna’s to check on her personally.  Then she realized that she had lost the right to be so familiar, and she determined to wait until Brianna contacted her.  She decided this was close enough to contact for her to show a concerned interest without being accused of hawking over or mothering.  God knew the last impression Charisma wanted to make was that of a mother.

Not that she hadn’t had her staff do some checking – Charisma knew more than any of the news agencies did at this point and probably almost as much as the parties involved in the incident did.  But it didn’t lessen her need to assure herself that her friends were all right.  The only reason she hadn’t called yet was that she fully expected them all to be sleeping soundly.  She wondered what had caused Brianna to choose to come to work instead of getting a little rest.  Then she shook her head – that wasn’t as important as the fact that she was here and Charisma could now go see how she was doing personally.

“Thank you, Opal,” Charisma said and she stood and straightened her clothing.  She took a deep breath and walked to the door, opening it with confidence before passing through her outer office without a word.  The staff exchanged glances, then simply got on with their day’s work.  If and when Charisma Tagherty needed their input, they’d be the first to know.  Until then they would do their assigned tasks and be thankful for the respite from a moody boss.

Charisma paused outside the door, hearing the cacophony of noise that indicated Brianna and her entourage was headed towards her.  So Charisma determined to wait for their arrival.

She watched as Brianna came up the hallway.  It was obvious to her at least that Brianna was running on adrenaline and sheer grit and part of her admired Brianna for that.  It reminded her greatly of their college days when they’d been able to stay up for thirty-six or forty-eight hours straight... especially around exam time.  On the other hand Charisma felt more than a twinge of anger at Brianna’s lackadaisical attitude towards herself.  It took her the intervening time of Brianna’s closing the distance between them for her to swallow that feeling and put on a calm façade. 

“Brianna?” she asked quietly as the group surrounding Brianna reached her.  Charisma saw Brianna’s eyes flutter closed for the merest second, then those green eyes met hers for a beat before turning back to her staff.

“You guys go ahead and get started with what I’ve already given you.  I’ll catch up to you in a minute.”  Every member of her team met her look and nodded sharply before they turned as a singular body and headed further up the hallway into their office.  Only once the door was closed behind them did Brianna turn back to Charisma and meet her eyes.  “Charisma,” she greeted cordially though the smile on her lips never reached her eyes.  “What can I do for you?”

“Nothing.  I squandered my chances and I know that.  I just wanted to see for myself that you were all right.”

“You could have called,” Brianna chided gently.  Charisma just shook her head.

“Not the same thing.  Besides I expected all of you to be sleeping this morning.”

“Well, I certainly hope Esmeralda and Saphira are.  I have a lunch meeting that I couldn’t miss, or believe me I’d have called in sick today.”

Charisma chuckled.  “I’m pretty sure your lunch meeting would have understood.  After all, you made the paper and the news.”  She paused and searched Brianna’s face carefully.  “Are you certain you’re all right?  You know Mama is going to ask me if she doesn’t ask you first.”

Brianna smiled though the expression was as tired and sad as any Charisma had ever seen.  “I’m sure she will regardless of what I told her.  I’m fine,” she continued without allowing Charisma to comment.  “I was never in any danger; Saphira and Esmeralda saw to that.  Esmeralda caught me before I could kiss the ground and Saphira had the assailant down and disarmed before Esmeralda and I could even straighten up from the near fall the kid caused.  It was over before it got started.  I’m fine, Charisma,” Brianna reiterated.  “Really.”

Charisma nodded slowly.  “I won’t even ask what you were thinking riding the Metro that time of night,” holding up her hands before Brianna could say a word.  “I’m just glad you had Saphira and Esmeralda with you.  Are they all right?”

“Everyone is okay.  The worst thing that happened to any of us was the mountain of paperwork we had to deal with at the police station.  Honestly, you’d have thought we were the criminals the way the cops were acting for a while.”

Charisma nodded.  “I’m glad you’re all right, Brianna.”  She let her hand rest briefly on Brianna’s arm and gave it a slight squeeze before removing it.  “I’ll....”  She motioned in the general direction of Brianna’s office before dropping her hand to rest on the doorknob of her own.  “I’ll let you get to work.  The sooner you get done, the sooner you can go home and get some sleep.”

“Yeah... don’t think I’m not counting the minutes for that little phenomenon to occur either.”  She turned and headed up the hallway a couple steps, then whirled back around to catch Charisma’s eyes following her retreat.  “Thanks for asking, Charisma.  I think Esmeralda plans to be here tonight if you want to stick around and check on her.”

Charisma frowned hard.  “Are you kidding me?”

“Not at all.  She told me she didn’t have any time left on the books.  I think part of her time off during her illness was unpaid leave.  The only reason she didn’t lose her job is because she’s well-liked and trusted by the Senators she works for, and she does exceptional work besides.”

“That’s not right!”

“No, but I suspect it’s the truth.  I just know she said they can’t afford for her to miss any more work for a while.”

“I may have to look into that,” Charisma grumbled, looking at the ground for a long moment.  Brianna watched in silent fascination as Charisma turned her focus inward.  Finally Charisma seemed to come to a decision within herself and when that was settled she met Brianna’s eyes once more.  “Thank you, Brianna.  I appreciate you stopping to talk to me.  I know we’re not supposed to be friends anymore....”

“Charisma, we will never be best friends again, but I think we will always be friends even if it’s only casually.  And it’s all right for casual friends to be interested in each other’s lives, especially when something scary like last night happens to one of them.  Thanks for being interested enough to check up on me.”

Before Charisma could find words to respond, Brianna turned away from her again and made her way down the hall to her office.  When the door closed behind her Charisma released the lip she’d been biting and shook her head while blinking furiously to clear the tears from her eyes before they started rolling down her cheeks unchecked.  Then she took a deep breath and opened the door to her office, calling out orders as she made her way back into her inner sanctum.  Opal and Luke just exchanged looks.  She scrambled to keep up with Charisma’s voice and he started making phone calls.

Down the hall it was much more subdued.  Though they all observed Brianna surreptitiously, her staff didn’t need any more directives from her.  So they watched her sail through the outer office and into her inner one, wondering what Charisma had said to their boss to put the slump in her shoulders.  They didn’t ask; they knew Brianna would blame it on her fatigue though the slump hadn’t been present before her rendezvous with Charisma in the hallway.

Brianna closed the door softly behind her and crossed to the refrigerator, confidently removing a pint of milk before walking to her desk.  Once seated and assured of at least a few minutes of privacy, she shook the milk and popped it open, guzzling half of it before opening the bottom right-hand drawer where she usually stashed her purse.  There, face down, was the Waterford frame that had been prominently placed on the desk of every office she had worked in until now.

She glared at the back of it as though willing it to get up out of the drawer and walk away from her.  She didn’t really care where.  She just couldn’t keep the reminder out anymore and she knew she wasn’t strong enough to get rid of it on her own.  Without a word Brianna dropped her purse on top of the crystal, then closed and locked the drawer.

Maybe if she was lucky a good fairy would dispose of it on their own, and she wouldn’t have to worry about it.  Then she snorted and shook her head.  She’d stopped believing in magic a long time ago, and recent events had only reinforced that.  Brianna finished her milk and tossed the bottle in the recycle bin.  Then she pulled forward the papers she needed to work on before her lunch meeting.  Maybe then she could go home and sleep.


Chapter LXXXI

The sound of movement in her outer office brought Charisma out of the haze she’d let herself fall into.  Ostensibly she was working of course, but the truth was that her focus was much more concentrated on listening for Esmeralda than it was on actually reading what was in front of her.  So as soon as she heard stirring in the front office, Charisma straightened the papers on her desk and rose, crossing to the door quickly and opening it.

Esmeralda was already engrossed in her work and with her back towards Charisma, it made it easy for Charisma to study her unobserved.  Esmeralda didn’t seem to be moving any slower than normal though there was a tired droop in her overall body language.  When she shifted enough to glimpse her face Charisma was pleased not to see the exhaustion she expected to be there.

After a long moment Esmeralda stiffened, realizing she was no longer alone.   She turned slowly, unsurprised to see Charisma’s eyes on her though her sight seemed to be somewhere beyond the room they were standing in or Esmeralda herself.  Esmeralda approached Charisma deliberately, recognizing the exact moment she was once again aware of her surroundings.  “Senator Tagherty?” watching Charisma frown and her eyes narrow.  “Charisma... are you all right?” feeling a distinct sense of déjà vu settle over her.  Charisma looked her over carefully before offering Esmeralda a wry expression.

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” she asked drolly.  “After all, I’m not the one who was getting attacked in the Metro at oh-my-God-o’clock this morning.”

“Well in fairness, neither was I,” Esmeralda stated plainly.  “But I understand what you mean,” she continued when Charisma glowered at her.  “We’re fine,” she continued.  “I think Saphira fared the worst of the three of us, and that only because she was nearly buried by the ton of paperwork they shoved at her.  And then they wonder why humans are so adverse to getting involved when there is trouble; you’d have thought we were the criminals the way they went on there for a while.”

“Do you regret it... helping Brianna, I mean?”

“Oh no of course not.  But that was easy – Brianna is our friend.  But I’m sure the treatment would have been the same had it been a stranger... maybe even worse.  It’s very disheartening when you really stop and think about it.  I know Saphira was ready to smack some heads together.”

Charisma laughed.  “I’d have paid to have seen that.”

“You wouldn’t have needed to – she’d have gladly done it for free.  At least it’s over with, and with a little luck we won’t have to testify.  Brianna’s statement combined with ours and the video footage should be enough to put the kid away for a while.”

“Did he say anything?  Do you know why she was the target?”

Esmeralda shook her head.  “By his own admission, he thought she’d be an easy mark.  He had no idea she was a Senator, and he never could have predicted Saphira’s prowess.”

“Well, he should have plenty of time to consider his actions.”  Charisma paused and cleared her throat.  “Listen... are you sure you should even be here tonight?  I don’t want you having a relapse, Es… none of us do.”

“That’s sweet, Charisma.  But this is my job, and I need to be here.”  She smiled to take any sting out of her words.  “Don’t worry – I promise I’m going slow enough to not needlessly tire myself out, and Rick is keeping an eye on me too.  I won’t overdo and as soon as I’m done, I’m going home and going straight back to bed.”

“All right.” Charisma nodded.  “Fair enough.  Help yourself to a chocolate milk or two – I don’t want you falling down on my watch either,” said in a scolding tone but with a glimmer of a twinkle in her eye.

Esmeralda chuckled.  “Aye aye sir... ma’am,” she corrected with a grin.  “Trust me, Charisma.  I have no desire to feel the way I felt before.  I’ll do what it takes to keep from feeling that way ever again.  Oh... and for some reason,” rolling her eyes, “I didn’t get to talk to Saphira about next weekend last night.  I’ll try and do it tonight.”

“I think I can forgive you the oversight this once,” Charisma returned drolly.  “Just don’t let it happen again, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” Esmeralda agreed.

“Good.  Let me just pack up and I’ll get out of your way for the evening.”

Esmeralda nodded and continued on with her work.  When she was ready to go Charisma lifted the phone on her desk and called down to the drivers’ room.  Then she gazed thoughtfully at Esmeralda.

“I’m headed out for the evening.  You get some rest, and I’ll see you tomorrow night.”  She paused and Esmeralda waited.  “I’m glad you’re all right, Es... you and Saphira both.  And thank you... for looking out for Brianna.”  She took a deep, shuddering breath and dropped her scrutiny to the floor.  “I know I don’t have any right, but I wouldn’t have… well, I can’t imagine....”

Esmeralda moved so silently and swiftly that Charisma didn’t realize she was there until she turned around and found Esmeralda within her personal space.  She stared into green eyes, surprised to find no pity - only compassion – and she let herself relax into the embrace Esmeralda offered.  Charisma sighed and soaked up the comfort.

After a long moment she pulled away in embarrassment.  Before Charisma could speak, Esmeralda cupped her cheek and shook her head.  “No,” she commanded quietly.  “Don’t apologize for your feelings especially to me.  When you’re ready to talk you know where to find me.”

“How did you...?”

Esmeralda chuckled.  “Charisma, I know you think I’m a kid compared to you, but trust me when I tell you that I’ve lived through a lot in my lifetime.  And I know what it’s like to have an epiphany about yourself that changes everything you ever thought about yourself.  I’ve seen the expression in your eyes before when I’ve looked in the mirror.”

Charisma leaned in for a second and hugged Esmeralda again before totally withdrawing and picking up her briefcase.  “Thank you, Es.  For so much.”  Then without another word she let herself out of the office and closed the door behind her.  Esmeralda watched her go, staring at the door for another long moment before she took a deep breath and got back to work.

************

“Wow – she really...?”  Saphira set a plate in front of Esmeralda and poured them both a glass of milk before taking a seat beside her at the kitchen table.  Ruby had insisted on covering her shift; Saphira had called and Matilda had agreed when she’d heard about the way their previous evening had ended though she called in the new girl to help Ruby so Ruby had come home earlier and gone straight to bed.  Now it was just the two of them sitting together at the table while Esmeralda indulged in a rare peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“She did.  I dunno, Phira – I don’t know what to think about this mission anymore.  This has gone so far beyond anything I ever even considered as a possibility.  I know we’re not done.  Obviously... He hasn’t called us... them... home.  But I’m at a loss to know what to do anymore.”

“Maybe you’re not supposed to do anything at this point.”  Saphira sighed and wrapped her hands around her glass of milk.  “If you’re completely honest, this whole project has been one snafu after another.  You haven’t been able to access the information you need or direct things like you normally would and it’s become a complete fubar, correct?”

Esmeralda sighed.  “That’s probably a little harsher than I would have put it, but it about sums things up, yes.”

“Maybe you’re... we’re... just supposed to be here for them.  Because Charisma has lived in the closet so long she’s become wallpaper.  Her mindset won’t change overnight, no matter what happens in her life.  Things like last night might help speed her thinking along, but she’s going to have to be the one that ultimately changes her life – because that’s what this will be for her.  Maybe we’re just supposed to be there and support them while she comes to the realizations she needs to.”

“Maybe,” Esmeralda agreed slowly, taking another bite of her sandwich and chewing thoughtfully.  “Still I was amazed by her tonight.”

“But what about Brianna?”

“I don’t know.  I think if Charisma wants, she’s gonna have to be willing to risk everything.  Brianna won’t believe her otherwise.”  Esmeralda swallowed the last bite of her sandwich and finished her milk before she stood and took her dishes to the sink.  “Well, tomorrow is another day.  Maybe we’ll get a few more baby steps; eventually they might add up to a step forward.”  She rinsed off her dishes, then did the same with Saphira’s glass.  “C’mon... it’s past my bedtime.”

Saphira accepted the hand Esmeralda extended and led them into the bedroom.  Tomorrow would come soon enough for them.

***********

The rest of the week passed rather casually for everyone.  Brianna and Charisma only met in the hallway twice and otherwise had no real interaction.  Scott Patterson wondered aloud if they’d had a lovers quarrel as neither woman suddenly seemed to have the time of day for the other, but several Senators pointed out they had all been busy trying to get back into the swing of things.  Another two had taken him aside privately and reminded him that speculation like that outside his office was likely to get him the kind of press no politician wanted.  So he let it go with murmurings and grumblings – and vowed to keep an eye on both women.  Tagherty especially was someone he wouldn’t mind undermining.  She held a chair he coveted for his own.  So he sat back to wait... and watch.

For their own parts, Brianna and Charisma were both actually quite busy with work.  New sessions always meant restarting from scratch on a lot of things, and they were in and out of committee meetings constantly.  For Brianna it was a relief.  It allowed her to settle back into work without the pressure of resuming a more familiar friendship with Charisma.  That might happen one day, but it wasn’t going to be immediate.

For Charisma it was an exercise in frustration.  Her mind was being pulled in so many directions – not the least of which was her last conversation with Okasa.  As predicted Okasa had called as soon as she’d heard the news about Brianna’s attack.   And that phone call just kept replaying over and over in Charisma’s mind.

************

“Charisma, it’s Mama.  What’s going on down there?  Do I need to send Hunter down there to look after you girls?  What happened??  How’s Brianna?  And is someone looking after Saphira and Esmeralda?  I’m sure they need....”

“Mama... MAMA – slow down a minute and let me get a word in edgewise, all right?  Brianna’s fine; I spoke to her earlier today.  She came into work for a little while this morning, and then went home to get some sleep.  I’ll see Es before I go home tonight.  She told Brianna she’d be in to work tonight.”

“What??  Is she crazy??  That child needs to rest... especially after that kind of excitement.  And what about Saphira?  I know your brother said she should have been in law enforcement, but what on Earth was she thinking, taking on an armed thug like that??  Don’t get me wrong – I’m thrilled she was able to take him out without anyone getting hurt but my God!!  What if something had happened to her... or Esmeralda... or Brianna??  Do you kids have any idea how much I worry??  There’s a reason there’s more salt than pepper in my hair, you know.”

“Yes, Mama – I know,” Charisma broke in before Okasa really got wound up.  “Do you want me to ask Brianna to call you?  You know she would.”

“NO.”  The reply so sharp that Charisma expected it to draw blood.  “No,” Okasa repeated a second time though much more softly than the first.  “She’s asked for space and I’ll be damned if we don’t give her that.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to worry any less.”  She took a deep breath.  “You talk to Es and you call and let me know how she seems to you.”

“I will, Mama.”

“All right, Baby Girl – how are you holding up?”

Charisma snorted.  “You know how new sessions are.”

“I know I’m glad I never went into politics. You take care of yourself and my grandson.  And if you need us, Paddy and I are only a phone call away.”

“I know, Mama, and I appreciate it.”

“I love you, Charisma.”

“Love you too, Mama.  Bye.”

************

That conversation, combined with the rumors Charisma was fairly sure Scott Patterson had a hand in as well as Brianna’s distinct avoidance of her combined to be running her mind in a vicious circle.  She idly wondered what Patterson would think if her separation from Kent became public knowledge.  Charisma made a mental note to stick around a little late tonight and talk to Esmeralda.  Maybe Esmeralda could help her get things straight in her mind... so to speak.

************

“Charisma?  Is something wrong?”

Charisma’s head popped up at the sound of her name and she regarded Esmeralda with quizzical eyes.  “Why would you think something was wrong, Es?”

Esmeralda smirked.  “It’s Friday night.  You should either be home with your son or out having dinner and drinks with your colleagues.  Instead you’re curled up on your office couch reading....”  Esmeralda tilted her head trying to read the title of the book Charisma still had open on her lap.  “Well, I’m not sure what you’re reading; I’m pretty sure it’s not any sort of legislation though.  So either something is up in a bad way or you’re waiting to talk to me.”

“I want you to know that is still a little freaky to me.  No one has ever been able to read me the way you can.  It scares me a little.”

“I’m not trying....”

“I know.  I’m just thankful you use your powers for good,” Charisma offered with a smile.  She patted the seat beside her.  “Come sit down because you’re right... I was waiting to talk to you.  And I’m not sure I can wait until next Sunday.”

“Sounds serious.”

“It is serious.  I....”  Charisma bit her lip and looked down at the book still open in her lap.  With single-minded focus, she marked her place precisely and closed the book with due deliberation.  Once she was satisfied that her bookmark was perfectly even and the book jacket corners were seated correctly, Charisma put the book carefully on the table in front of her.  Then she clasped her hands in her lap so tightly that her knuckles turned white – quite noticeable on her olive-toned skin.  She started when Esmeralda covered her fists with a gentle touch and raised confused blue eyes to meet understanding green.

“Talk to me, Charisma – it’s just you and me here, and I don’t bite unless your name is Saphira and you ask nicely,” drawing the laugh she was looking for.  Charisma nodded her head and looked down at their joined hands, then sucked in a shaky breath.

“I’ve messed up, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Do you know what you did wrong?”

“I think so.  I think I took too much and gave too little.”

“Do you know what you want your results to be?”

“I don’t understand,” Charisma replied, frowning in genuine bewilderment.

“Yeah... I didn’t phrase that very well, did I?”  Esmeralda sighed.  “Let me lay this out a little and you can tell me if I’m on the right track or not, all right?”  Charisma nodded and waited for Esmeralda to continue.  “Since Brianna returned to your life, she’s bent over backwards for you – trying to make you comfortable with her again; offering you friendship that took you a little while to accept; returning to your family with you because you asked her to.  Right so far?”

“Yes, but....”

“Shh,” the directive causing Charisma’s mouth to snap shut so quickly, she almost bit her tongue.  “You were jealous... DON’T, Charisma,” before she could deny Esmeralda’s words.  “I was there; I know what I saw.  And I wasn’t the only one either.  You were almost insane with jealousy.  Then you realized why Brianna had said goodbye to you in Barcelona – why she’d walked out of your life.  So you decided you could have it all – a husband and son for appearances and the best friend you’d missed like crazy.   It was all yours for the taking.  Except things didn’t quite work out that way did they?” her voice gentle.

Charisma snorted.  “Not even close.  I don’t know... hell, I don’t know a damn thing evidently.  My life has gone to hell in a hand basket and I’m not sure what to do to fix it – I’m not sure what I can do at this point, much less what I want to do.  My husband has filed for separation, and every reason he gave was a viable one.  He even made it possible for me to have the final say on whether we stay married or not.  As for Brianna....”  Charisma shook her head.  “I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to fix the damage I’ve done there.  I don’t think she cares anymore.”

“What if I told you she does?”  Charisma met Esmeralda’s eyes in an intense stare.  “Charisma, she has done all the giving in this relationship since she returned to the forefront of your life.  Don’t you think it’s time you offered her the same courtesy?”

“Es, you’re asking me to be someone I’m not.”

“No, Charisma – I’m asking you to be honest about who you are.”  Esmeralda paused and took a deep breath.  “Let me ask you something, Charisma, and I want you to think about your answer.  If you’re so concerned with your image, why haven’t you destroyed those separation papers?  I can understand why you didn’t shred them right away.  If Kent took you by surprise when he served them to you, I’m sure your first reaction was one of shock.  But Charisma... if I have this figured right, it’s been almost a week if not longer – which tells me you’re considering it as a possibility.  And what about the letters Brianna wrote you – have you read them yet?”

“How did you...?”

“Don’t ask – I promised not to tell.  The other I guessed based on when you originally told me about Kent filing separation papers.”  Esmeralda shook her head to get back on track.  “Charisma, I’m not trying to make you feel bad or add to your confusion.  You don’t like what your life is at the moment so you need to change it, correct?”  Charisma nodded.  “Assume you only have this one chance to make your life over into what you want it to be from now on.  What kind of result do you want to come from the changes you make?  That’s the first thing you need to decide.  You can’t really move forward until you know where you’re headed.”

“You’re pretty smart, Es,” Charisma whispered.

“Hard won experience, Senator.”

Silence for several long moments.  “I don’t know if I can do this, Es.  I don’t know if I am strong enough or unselfish enough.”

“You won’t be alone, Charisma, no matter what you choose to do... not if you don’t want to be. Maybe you should go home and think about what’s really important to you.  Decide what will make you happiest.  Once you figure that out, the rest should fall into place.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s only hard if you let it be.”

“Was it easy for you?”

“Once I realized what my life would be like without Saphira in it, it was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.  I’ve never regretted it even with the hardships we’ve experienced because we’ve been together.  And that’s enough for me.  You’ll have to determine what’s best for you, Charisma.  But regardless of what you choose, you’re going to have to learn the art of giving.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“I’m not asking you too.”

Charisma held Esmeralda’s eyes.  “I have a feeling I’m going to have to learn a good many things.”


Chapter LXXXII

Saturday morning Charisma called Ame and asked her to take Adam out for a while.  “Anywhere,” she instructed, “except the Natural History Museum.  Kent is planning to take him there tomorrow.”

“How about the Bounce House?”

Charisma cut her eyes at Ame but nodded her reluctant agreement.  “Call Turq.  I don’t want you riding out there on the Metro.  And before you ask, McDonald’s is fine for lunch as long as you make sure he gets milk to drink.”

“What time would you like us home, Senator?”

“You can come home when you’re ready Ame, but if I’m not downstairs, I’d like to ask you to stay here with Adam.  Once I come downstairs, you’ll be free to go.”

“Of course Senator,” Ame replied without inflection and Charisma felt the need to apologize.

“I’m sorry for taking so much of your personal time lately, Ame.  I will try to make it up to you somehow.”  Ame shook her head and laid a hand on Charisma’s arm lightly.

“It’s all right, Senator.  I don’t have much use for personal time at the moment and Adam and I get along splendidly, don’t we?” looking at Adam and smiling.  He nodded his head enthusiastically.  Charisma chuckled.

“Fair enough,” Charisma replied.  She knelt to look at Adam eye to eye.  “You be good for Ame, okay?”

“Adam good boy,” he assured his mother.  She opened her arms and he jumped into them, giving Charisma a sloppy kiss and rubbing their noses together before letting go.  When he stepped back Charisma stood and turned back to Ame.

“I’ll get him ready, Senator and take care of locking up when we leave.  You go ahead and....” trailing off and motioning towards the stairs.  “We’ve got it covered.”

“Thanks, Ame,” Charisma said.  “Bye, Son.”

“Love Mama.”

“Love you too, Adam.” Then Charisma turned and headed upstairs without another word.  She had one more selfish act to indulge in before she could do as Esmeralda had asked of her.

************

Charisma steeled herself as she crossed the threshold into her bedroom, closing the door and locking it firmly behind her.  She leaned against the door and closed her eyes, breathing deeply for almost a full minute.  Then she pushed away from the door and moved to her closet, flipping on the light and leaving the door open as she entered.  Charisma made her way to the back and pulled out the plastic box Brianna had given her.

She knelt beside it, lifting the lid and closing her eyes as her senses were once again assaulted by memories of another lifetime.  She wasn’t sure how it had happened – especially considering that Okasa’d had possession of the container until just recently – but she could smell the essence of her life with Brianna in the box.  Perhaps it was a lingering trace of her perfume, but there was something quintessentially Brianna in the scent that rose to Charisma’s nostrils now.

Charisma let the memories wash over her – one big wave of thoughts and feelings she’d put away when Brianna had walked away from her all those years ago.  There would be time and opportunity to examine them one by one later, but for now she was a woman on a mission.

She removed the thickest packet from the box, knowing it was also the oldest, smiling sadly when she recognized the ribbon Okasa had used as one Brianna had given her.  Charisma untied the silky material, rubbing it through her fingers.  Then she picked up the top envelope and slit it open carefully.  She took a deep breath and slid out the folded paper.  Then she flipped it open and let her eyes focus on the handwriting that had once been as familiar as her own before she started to read.

************

    Dear Charisma, (it read)

    I am writing this to you because Okasa asked me to, and truthfully I think it may be the only chance I have of purging everything that’s inside of me without causing you any undo stress or upset.  Here I can be completely honest... with you, with me, with the world-at-large because I figure no one but me will ever see these letters.  I will certainly never share them with anyone else and unlike Okasa, I’m not some sort of cockeyed optimist – I know you will never ask about me so you will never know about them.  Because you will never want to admit that you know why I said goodbye.

Here Charisma stopped reading, drawing in a shuddering breath before she lay the letter carefully down on the floor and rose.  When she returned to the closet she’d already used one tissue to wipe her face and blow her nose, and she carried a box of them in one hand and a water bottle in the other.  She wisely set the water in a corner away from the box and placed the tissue beside her.  Then Charisma picked up the letter and resumed her reading.

    You see, I realized something recently – well, that’s not completely true.  The truth I realized some time ago, but I have only recently admitted it to myself.  I love you.  There... I said it.  I love you, Charisma Tagherty and I am in love with you.  There are probably a hundred reasons why, and maybe one of these days I’ll sit down and write them all out for us both here in these pages.  But for now suffice it to say that I do love you – heart and soul.
    When I finally acknowledged my love for you to myself, I knew I had no choice – I had to walk away.  I’m sure you’re angry right now... maybe hurt that I am out of your life.  But deep, deep in your heart, you know why I left and that’s why I know you won’t come looking for me.  Because you feel the same thing I do – I’ve seen it.  The difference is you would never be willing to love me, and I won’t stay around and be a martyr... I can’t.  Right now the only way I can protect myself is to be away from you... to erect some walls and barriers against you so that eventually you won’t matter to me the way I already don’t matter to you.
    Maybe one day we’ll run into each other again and we can be polite and civilized to one another.  We can give each other those fake smiles and hugs politicians and actors are known for, then we can reminisce about the ‘good old days’.  You’ll introduce me to the husband and children I’m sure you’ll have by then, and maybe I’ll be able to introduce you to my partner and our family.  With any luck though, that will be years and years from now.  Because right now all there is in my heart is you, and I can’t see beyond that.
    I read back over this letter and saw that I haven’t really said anything yet.  There is so much inside of me dying to get out, but all I can think of at the moment is how long the rest of my life is going to be without you in it... and how much that thought hurts. 
    I am going to wait a few days before I try this again.  Maybe then, I can channel some of the anger I feel... or some of the pain... or some of the hatred.  Because it’s all there... in spades.  Still despite everything I know and everything I feel right now, I don’t think my love for you will ever change.  Maybe I should just write a book.
    I love you Charisma.  I just wish you could love me too.

    B

************

Charisma took a deep breath and reached for her water bottle, drinking down half of it and closing her eyes against the words staring back at her from the page she’d just read.  Gently she returned the first letter to its envelope and placed it face down beside her before turning her attention to the next envelope in the stack.  Slicing it much as she had the first one, she removed the folded paper from inside and opened the letter and started reading Brianna’s next missive.

One followed another in this fashion, and Charisma found Brianna had been very honest about the multitude of feelings and emotions contained within each epistle.  Some made her heart hurt; some made her furious; some made her suck in her breath in surprise; and one or two made her smile wistfully.  But despite the pain or anger or hatred that Brianna spoke about, she always reminded Charisma that she loved her before she ended each note.

As the letters went on, Brianna started sharing a little more about what was happening in her life and less about what she felt.  It was almost as though Charisma became her pen pal or her diary though there was very little personal in anything Brianna said.  She wrote nothing about Kay or any of the other love affairs she’d been involved in.  Mostly she wrote about interesting things that happened or about the cases she was immersed in as though they were college confidantes again.  And Charisma found herself laughing aloud at some of the things Brianna deemed fit to share.

Then she reached the letter that was written after her engagement to Kent was announced to the family, and she realized how few letters Brianna had written since then.  Slowly Charisma cut the envelope open and removed the paper from it.  Then she steadied herself and began reading.

************

    Dear Charisma, (it read)

    Okasa called me today – she wanted to tell me about your engagement before it made the news.  I’m not quite sure what to say here.  I’d like to say congratulations, but I wouldn’t really mean it.  It’s not that I wish you ill, Charisma – it’s because I know that you’re settling. 
    Okasa tells me your fiancé is a nice guy that you like and someone you feel will be a good father to whatever children you have together. Oh my God, Charisma… are you kidding me??  Is he aware that all you feel for him is ‘like’, Charisma?  Is he willing to settle for being second, third or fourth place in your line of priorities behind your job, your children and the rest your family?  Whatever happened to love, Charisma?  What happened to the passionate woman I knew in college... the one who wouldn’t compromise what she wanted for anything??
    However, I hope you find happiness with Kent Rockwell, Charisma... I really do.  But I also think you’re a fool for conforming to what you think is expected of you instead of simply being who you are.  More fool me for thinking you ever could.
    I don’t think I’ll be writing you many more letters, Charisma.  It’s been obvious to me for years that you never thought of me as anything more than someone to fill a gap that leaving your family for the first time created in your life.  And that time has long since passed both of us by.
    I will always love you, Charisma, but I won’t allow you to be more than a memory anymore.

    B

************

Charisma started to clench her hands before she realized she still held the letter.  Prudently she folded the paper and tucked it back into its envelope, then gently set it back on the pile of untied notes.  She shifted until she could lean against the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees and simply cried.

She had no idea how much time had passed, but when the tears slowed Charisma’s face was swollen and her eyes burned.  She grabbed a handful of tissues and dabbed at her face, hissing at the tenderness of her skin.  Charisma pushed herself upright and eased out of the closet, the pounding in her head from crying so hard making it a difficult process at best.

She made it to the bathroom and ran cool water over her face until she couldn’t feel the cold from it any longer.  Then she leaned her arms on the counter and stared at the reflection gazing back at her. Charisma flinched slightly – there was no way to hide the crying spell she’d just subjected herself to, and eventually she was going to have to go downstairs if only so Ame could go home and get some rest. 

She blew out a breath, weighing her options, then she moved back to the closet.  With only a couple more letters to read, Charisma decided to finish them before she took a shower.  Maybe that would make her a little more presentable.

Charisma sat back down and picked up the first of the last three letters and realized it had been written shortly after Adam’s birth.

************

    Dear Charisma, (it read)

    I saw a picture of your son today.  Okasa couldn’t wait to show me her newest grandson... not that I blame her.  He’s a beautiful baby, Charisma... reminds me very much of his mama.  I hope he brings you all the happiness in the world. 

    B

************

Charisma wondered at the shortness of the letter – surely there was more Brianna had wanted to say about the birth of Charisma’s child, wasn’t there?  After all, it had been the most momentous event in Charisma’s life with the possible exception of meeting Brianna Walker for the first time.  Then Charisma bit her lip.  Of course, Brianna had no way of knowing that... at least not when this note was written.  Charisma wondered what Brianna would have said if she had been there at Adam’s birth.  Would she have cooed over him?  Doted on him?  Held him and rocked him to sleep?  Charisma closed her eyes in silent acknowledgment of the truth of all of those options.  Of course she would have; she had done as much for each of her brother’s children, and all of them held Brianna in as high a regard as Adam did.

Charisma blew out a shaky, frustrated breath and reached for the next letter.  She opened it, then froze as the words on the page started to make sense in her mind.

************

    Dear Charisma, (it read)

    I was in an accident today.  Nothing too damaging – after all, I’m sitting here writing to you about it, right?  Still it was enough to freak me out pretty good.  It actually scared the bejesus out of me; I’m still shaking.  It wasn’t actually my fault this time – I wasn’t even driving.  But some moron ran a red light and crashed into the passenger side of the car I was riding in.  Thank God for airbags.
    Pretty sure the airbag impact knocked me out for a few minutes because I remember coming back to myself wondering what the hell had happened and why the hell my head felt like it was being used as a punching bag.  My ears are still ringing in point of fact.  But aside from some achies and some owies, I’m okay.  I’m going to be bruised and sore in the morning, but I’m walking on two good legs and there are no broken bones or a concussion in sight.  So really things could be a lot worse than they are.  I’m counting my blessings at this juncture.
    I supposed you wonder why I’m writing now after so much time away since I don’t really count the short note of congratulations I wrote just after Adam’s birth as writing to you.  While I was trapped in that car trying to get my bearings and praying that I didn’t puke all over myself from the nauseating headache that was pounding in my brain, I realized that I kind of missed talking to you like this.  After all, here you’re still my best friend.  Here you still listen to what I have to say and care about who I am.  And since you’re never going to see these little missives, the only person missing out if I don’t write these letters to you is me.
    So I may try writing you again.  I have a lot less time than I used to have – working in the DA’s office cut into my free time considerably, but nothing like becoming the DA did.  What the hell was I thinking when I decided that was a good idea??  I’ve a good mind to chuck the whole business and just write full-time, but I think I would miss the challenge if I did that.
    Still it’s something to think about.
    I was on my way to a meeting with the Governor when the accident happened.  Guess he’ll have to wait until the ringing in my ears stops before we get together.  Hopefully it wasn’t too pressing.

    B

************

Charisma shook her head and noticed her hand was shaking.  She wondered how long it had taken Brianna to recover from the achies and owies and if she still felt occasional twinges from the impact.  She offered up a small prayer of thanks for the fact that Brianna had not been severely injured or worse, feeling a tremor of terror settle in her guts when she considered how much worse it easily could have been. Then she turned her attention to the final letter in the pile and slowly opened it. 

************

    Dear Charisma, (it read)

    This will be my last letter for a while.  That meeting with the Governor?  He wants me be a placeholder for a Senate seat.  Seems Senator Whitman is in need of some recovery time and he and Michael think I’m the perfect candidate to keep his seat while he does so. 
    I tried to make them both understand that I’m not interested in politics – apparently *that* is why they chose me for the job.  This way, if Richard is able to run again in two years, he won’t be running against me... only the candidate from the other party.
    Whatever – it’s shaping up to be a clusterfuck if you ask me.  However, it’s only for two years – I should be able to stay out of your sphere for the most part, and I think we could both manage to be cordial to one another if we have to.
    Okasa – hell, your whole damn family – seem to think this is a sign from God or something... that I should take this opportunity and make sure you know the whole truth.  That would be a big hell to the no!
    I will take this assignment because I want to see you again one more time, and I know that the only way that’s ever going to happen will be in a professional setting.  I can do two years... at least I hope I can do two years.  I will see you and talk to you and no one will ever have a reason to question my professionalism as far as you are concerned.  They will never know we knew one another before my arrival in Washington from me.
    And when my two years is up, I will retire from politics and the law and find somewhere else to be.  Because I know as surely as I am writing this letter that you will let me go again, and when I do it will be for good... mine as well as yours.
    I wish things had been different – I wish they would be different than I know they will, but I just don’t have that kind of faith anymore.  Maybe if I’m lucky, you’ll be kind and we can be friendly for the next two years.
    But I’m not holding my breath on that possibility either.

    B

************

Charisma folded up the last letter and tied the batch back together with that yarn she recognized as being part of a baby blanket Okasa had made for Adam.  Without a sound she neatly replaced the bundles in order and closed the lid before tucking the box away and grabbing her things.  Then she shut off the light and closed the closet door.

With a deep breath she moved towards the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help her relax and help her put her thoughts in order.


Chapter LXXXIII

Charisma’s shower turned into a bath, and as she slowly relaxed into the hot water she turned her mind to the letters she’d read.  She realized that many of Brianna’s shared memories came from time she’d spent with the Tagherty clan and Charisma knew regardless of anything else, she had to give Brianna back the family she’d had with the Taghertys.  Too much of their life and too many of their memories were shared and no one else should have to suffer for her foolishness.  Her mind made up, Charisma bathed quickly in the cooling water, then wrapped herself in the fluffiest robe she owned and left the bathroom in search of Adam and Ame.

The house was dark when she exited her bedroom, and she wondered.  Swiftly she crossed the hall to Adam’s room, breathing a sigh of relief to find him curled in his bed sound asleep.  Then she frowned – how late was it that he was already in bed?  And where was Ame?

Charisma closed the door softly behind her and looked around, noting that the door of one of the guest rooms was closed.  She bit her lip thoughtfully, then shook her head and went downstairs.

It was dark down there as well with the exception of a few strategically located nightlights.  Charisma looked around carefully, noting everything was locked up tight and the alarm had been set.  She walked into the kitchen, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head when she realized the clock really did read one forty-seven.  Charisma blinked rapidly, trying to reconcile what her eyes were telling her with what she’d thought was reality. 

She flipped the light switch, not surprised to find a note on the table.

    Senator Tagherty, (it read)

    It’s eleven o’clock and Adam’s been fed, bathed and put to bed.  I knocked on your door earlier, but you didn’t answer so I’ve taken the monitor and gone into the guest room next to Adam’s room.  If that is not acceptable, please wake me.  Otherwise I will be happy to keep an ear out for him tonight.

    Ame

Charisma blinked – she really was going to have to find something amazing to do for Ame soon.  God knew the woman had been going above and beyond for some time.  She covered her mouth as she yawned and felt the weight of her exhaustion suddenly pressing down on her.  Anything she decided was going to have to wait until tomorrow;– suddenly all she wanted was to close her eyes and let oblivion take over for just a little while.  Charisma debated the merits of getting something to eat, then decided she was too tired to chew.  With a sigh she turned off the light and trudged slowly back upstairs.  Tomorrow was going to come far too soon even if she didn’t show up until lunch.

Speaking of – she made a mental note to call Opal first thing to arrange lunch with Brianna.  Sighing again she dropped the robe she wore onto the floor and climbed into bed naked.  She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

************

Opal closed her cell phone and looked around the kitchen before focusing her gaze on Indi.  “That was Ame.  Apparently Charisma asked her to call me - she would like me to set up lunch between her and Brianna immediately.  Can you...?”

“She does know today is Sunday morning, right?  Very early on Sunday morning; I may not even be able to reach Brianna.”

“I don’t know.  You heard my side of the conversation.  Ame was just delivering a message.”

Indi sighed, not really liking where this was going.  “Personal or professional?”

“Personal,” Opal said with a grimace that Indi matched.  “But she said it was urgent.”

“All I can do is try and set it up.  Time?”

“One-thirty.  According to Ame, Charisma will probably be running late this morning.  She was up late last night reading the letters Brianna wrote her.”

“Well hallelujah – progress,” Ruby said with a hint of snark.  She looked around at the others who were staring at her in disbelief.  “What?” she whined plaintively.  “Every one of you were thinking it as well, and since Saphira isn’t awake yet to say it aloud I figured someone needed to.”

“Speaking of... do you think we need to wake them – let Es know what’s going on?”

“No,” Ruby replied instantly.  “Nothing is going to change what’s already happened so we can wait until they get up on their own.  We’ll all still be here when they do.  It’s not like we have to be in a rush to be anywhere this morning.”

“Who’s rushing where?” Amber asked as she stepped into the kitchen.  “What?” she asked when everyone turned and looked at her.  “I didn’t do anything.”

“But you did have an interesting evening, didn’t you?” Ruby queried even as she eased Amber into her chair.  “Did Ame send you home?”

“Pretty much.  Since she stayed the night I made sure she slept; so we decided I’d come home now to let Es know what happened last night,” accepting the coffee cup Ruby put in front of her with a smile and a grateful nod.  “Are they still...?” jerking her head towards the bedroom door.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m gonna wake them.  Es needs to know... what?” looking at Ruby when the older woman put a restraining hand on her arm.  “Ruby?”

“Amber, don’t you think it can wait a little while?”

“What can wait?” Esmeralda asked as she rubbed her eyes.  “Good morning,” she greeted as she made a beeline for the coffeepot.  “What are we waiting on?”

Amber smirked.  “You,” she teased.  “It’s been busy since you went to bed.”

“Seriously?”  Esmeralda looked at the clock.  “Is that why you’re home so early?  Where’s Coral?  And Ame?”

“That’s part of the story, Es.  Pull up a chair and I’ll bring you up to date on what happened last night.”

“And we’ll tell you about the phone call this morning,” Opal added.

Esmeralda dropped into the chair Amber held for her and looked around expectantly.  “All right,” she conceded with a nod.  “Let’s hear it.”

************

They all sat silently when Amber finished recounting the events of the previous day at Charisma’s home.  Esmeralda held her gaze for a moment longer, then turned to Opal who shared the details of Ame’s phone call earlier.  When she was done Esmeralda closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair.  After a few minutes of silence Esmeralda looked up.

“I thought I’d call Brianna about nine,” Indi offered.  “It’s not so early that she’d resent being woken up if she’s still in bed but it’s not so late that she can’t make plans to meet Charisma if she wants to do so.”  Indi met Esmeralda’s eyes.  “Would you like to listen in?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, yes.  I’d like to hear her reaction and her tone as much as what’s being said.  Sometimes those are more telling than the actual words that are being used.”  Esmeralda looked around the table.  “Thank you, ladies.  I know this mission has gone well beyond the scope of anything we’ve ever done before.  Just keep me posted as things happen.  I’d hate to be caught unaware if we were suddenly called home.”

“Do you think you’ll get called, Es?” Ruby asked.

Esmeralda shrugged.  “I dunno; I’ve learned not to try and second-guess Him.  But I’d like to be prepared... just in case.”

“I don’t blame you there,” Ruby replied with a smile.  “There’s nothing worse than being blindsided by something.”  She turned to Amber.  “I’m sorry about earlier.  I know you usually function as Es’ second, but I... I guess I’m still in mothering mode.”

Amber’s lips twitched and she wrapped an arm around Ruby’s shoulders.  “You’re always in mothering mode, Ruby; it’s what you do.  That’s not a bad thing.  Heaven knows we all need it from time to time, and it’s probably a big part of what helped Es get back on her feet.  We’re square, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now that that’s all settled, I think we all have things to take care of.  I’m going to wake up Saphira; Indi, I’ll meet you back here just before nine.”  Without another word Esmeralda stood and went to the sink to rinse out her coffee cup.  Then she moved back to the bedroom and entered it without a backwards glance, closing the door firmly behind her.  Everyone waited until the door was shut, then they moved off to get their day started.

************

“Problems?” Saphira mumbled from her spot with her face still half-buried in her pillow.  Esmeralda shook her head and crossed to the bed, crawling to lean against the headboard as she sat beside Saphira.  Saphira immediately took advantage and slid her head from the pillow to Esmeralda’s lap, sighing in contentment when Esmeralda’ started combing her hands through long, dark locks.  Saphira purred and Esmeralda gazed down on her fondly.

“Comfortable?” she asked with an indulgent smile.

“Perfect,” Saphira rumbled.  “No place else I’d rather be,” squeezing the thigh her arm was wrapped around before allowing her fingertips to stroke the smooth skin beneath them.  “So... problems?” she asked again.

“Progress actually,” Esmeralda replied wryly.  “Charisma finally read Brianna’s letters.”

Saphira went perfectly still for a long moment before she turned enough to look up into Esmeralda’s eyes.  “Did she?” waiting for Esmeralda to nod.  “And...?  C’mon, Es... that might be considered progress, but I can’t believe that’s all that happened.”

Esmeralda chuckled and ruffled Saphira’s bangs, pushing them out of her eyes.  “Actually that’s significant progress, all things considered.  Baby steps, remember?  But Charisma came to some sort of decision; she had Ame call Opal to set up lunch with Brianna.”  Esmeralda held up her hand.  “All we know is that it’s for personal reasons and Charisma deemed it urgent.”

“And Brianna?”

“Indi hasn’t called her yet.  It’s still early.”

“But if it’s urgent...?”

“I think Brianna’s definition of urgent is going to differ greatly from Charisma’s.  Besides, if it was truly urgent, Charisma would have called Brianna directly or gone to see her.  She wouldn’t be trying to set up lunch.”

“Do you think Brianna will be receptive?”

Esmeralda shrugged.  “It’s hard to say at this point.  If this had happened even a week or two ago, I would have said absolutely.  Now?”  She shrugged again and absently began combing her fingers through Saphira’s hair once more.  “I think she’s pulled away sufficiently to allow her to begin rebuilding the defenses she set up against Charisma so long ago.  Only this time I’m not sure she’ll let them come down even if it’s Charisma doing the breaking.”

Saphira held Esmeralda’s eyes for another long moment, but instead of making a smart remark she simply closed her eyes and rolled back over, butting her head against Esmeralda’s stomach until she felt the light scraping of fingernails against her scalp.  Saphira brushed her lips over Esmeralda’s thigh.  “I hope they figure it out.  I can’t imagine choosing to be without you.”

“Neither can I,” Esmeralda whispered.  Then there was no more talking as they simply absorbed the peace surrounding them, appreciating the fact that they were alone together.  Both knew their day would have to start for real very soon and that circumstance would change so they enjoyed it while they could.

Sure enough, sometime later a knock sounded at the door and Esmeralda blinked open eyes that had unexpectedly closed in sleep during their peaceful interlude.  She shifted when she felt Saphira do the same, biting her lip to keep from giggling.  Saphira turned her head and frowned.

“You were tickling me,” Esmeralda replied to the unspoken question.  Saphira grinned evilly and returned her head to its previous position, this time deliberately using her eyes and lips to good effect.  Esmeralda jumped and swatted at her just as a second knock sounded at the door.  “Be good!” Esmeralda hissed with a gentle swat on Saphira’s hip.  Saphira just huffed and scowled, crossing her arms over her chest but refusing to move from her current position.

“Es?  It’s Indi.  Um... it’s nine o’clock and I was about to call Brianna.”

“Give me five minutes, Indi, and I’ll be right out.”  Indi could hear scrambling from the bed and a muffled squeal from Esmeralda.  She bit her lips to keep from laughing aloud, then cleared her throat. 

“I’ll be in the living room, Es.  Take your time.”

Esmeralda glared at Saphira, who leaned back into the pillows with a smug grin on her face.  “We will finish what you started later.  I’ve got work to do.”

Saphira reached for Esmeralda and pulled her onto the bed before Esmeralda could dart away.  Without hesitation Saphira claimed Esmeralda’s lips for a long, passionate moment before she eased back enough for them both to breathe.  “I love you, Es.  Never forget that.”

Esmeralda’s gaze softened and she offered Saphira a tender smile.  “I love you too, Phira... so much.”

Saphira stole another kiss, then patted Esmeralda on the behind.  “All right – you’ve got work to do, and I’m pretty sure there are things I need to take care of as well.  Meet you back here later?”

Esmeralda grinned.  “You’ve got yourself a date, Lover.”

Saphira growled and Esmeralda laughed aloud.  Their day was off to a fabulous start.

************

“Senator Walker, this is Indi.  I’m sorry to bother you at home on your day off, but I received a call from Senator Tagherty’s PA earlier.  Senator Tagherty would like to set up a luncheon meeting with you at your earliest possible convenience.”

Brianna rubbed her eyes and sighed.  Though she hadn’t been asleep when the phone rang, she hadn’t been awake for very long either.  She hadn’t even had her first cup of coffee, which was just finishing up its brewing cycle.  She stretched and rose, shuffling slowly to the coffeepot, then reached for a cup and poured her first cup of the day.  All this was done in silence while she thought over Indi’s words, and she waited until she had her coffee prepared and had downed her first swallow before she deigned to reply.  Indi, who could hear all the noise in the background, simply waited for Brianna to decide she was ready to answer.

“Did she tell you what it was about, Indi?” Brianna asked, closing her eyes and she savored the next bit of coffee.

“No ma’am – only that it was personal and that it was urgent.”

Brianna sighed again.  If it had been urgent, Charisma would have taken care of this directly... personally.  As it was....

“Okay, here’s what I want you to do.  When you call Charisma’s assistant back, you tell her you were unable to reach me today.  Then set up a meeting between us for tomorrow some time.  It doesn’t have to be lunch, but it can be if that’s what’s available.  If tomorrow doesn’t work, try for later this week.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Thanks, Indi.”

“Not a problem, Senator.  It’s my job after all.”

“Yeah, maybe, but what time did your phone ring this morning?” Brianna asked with a lilt in her voice.  Indigo cleared her throat.

“Let’s just say it was dark and I was still sleeping.”

Brianna laughed briefly, then covered her mouth with her hand.  “I’m sorry, Indi.  It’s really not funny, but it is very typical of the woman I remember Charisma Tagherty to be.  Thank you for waiting to call me.”

“Yes ma’am.  Would you like me to call you back with the details, or should I just let you know when I see you in the morning?”

“Unless it’s a breakfast meeting, just give me the details when I see you in the office tomorrow.”

“Will do, Senator.  Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“Yes – go do something fun, will you?  I’ll see you tomorrow, Indi.”

“Goodbye, Senator Walker.”

“Bye, Indi.”

The line went dead and Indi and Esmeralda looked at one another, then turned their attention to Opal who had been waiting in the room with them expectantly.  Now she had to call Charisma and break the news to her.  She picked up her phone and dialed, then pressed speaker so they could all hear.  Then it was simply a matter of waiting for Charisma to pick it up.


Chapter LXXXIV

Charisma came down the stairs putting her earrings on, nearly dropping one of the studs when Kent stepped from the kitchen.  She hesitated and frowned.  “Kent?  What are you doing here?  Where’s Ame?”

Kent’s eyebrows flew into his hairline.  Charisma’s tone wasn’t accusatory, but it was honestly confused.  He looked at her carefully and recognized that she was dressed for work and not a casual Sunday at home.  “Charisma, it’s Sunday.  I came down so we could work out a visitation schedule and to take Adam to the Natural History Museum.  I sent Ame home when I got here; she said you had a late night. It’s why Adam and I haven’t left yet.”

“It’s Sunday?” looking down at herself with a frown.

“Yes, Charisma,” Kent offered with a smirk.  “I’m not sure how you lost a day – especially one where you don’t have to go into work, but....”  His voice trailed off and he looked at her closer.  “Are you okay, Charisma?”

Charisma pinched the bridge of her nose.  “Yeah... I think so.  I’m not sure how....”  She took a deep breath and met Kent’s eyes.  “Are you in a hurry?”

He motioned her back up the stairs.  “Go change into your Sunday ‘relaxing-around-the-house’ clothes.  We have plenty of time.  Adam should be up from his nap in a few minutes.”

“Nap?”

Kent chuckled.  “We ate brunch so I decided to let him catch a few zzz’s while we waited for you.  Maybe we’ll actually get to go through the museum today.”

Charisma smiled.  “You’re really excited about this aren’t you?”

Kent blushed but held her eyes with his when he nodded.  “I am.  No matter what you decide about us, Charisma, Adam is a blessing that we will always share.  I will never regret our decision to be a couple if only for his sake.”

“Neither will I,” she agreed, then turned and went upstairs without another word.

************

“MA!” Adam greeted some minutes later when Charisma returned downstairs and joined the rest of her family in the den.  He scrambled off of Kent’s lap and ran to wrap his arms around Charisma’s legs, knowing she would lift him into her arms.  He brushed their noses together with a laugh, then threw his arms around her neck.  “Love Mama!”

Charisma held Adam to her and kissed his head.  “I love you too, Son.”  She loosened her grip and Adam squirmed to get down.  Charisma rolled her eyes but released him and Adam ran to the table and picked up a pamphlet.  “Look, Mama – ‘saurs!”

She took the brochure from Adam’s hand and realized it was for the Natural History Museum.  “Dinosaurs, huh?” grinning when he nodded enthusiastically.  “You ready to go see some dinosaurs with Daddy?”

“YES!!”

Charisma’s eyes twinkled, and when she looked at Kent she saw the same expression on his face.  “Well then... let’s go get your coat on so you can go see some dinosaurs with Daddy.  It’s still winter and just because it’s not freezing at the moment doesn’t mean that won’t change and change again before you boys are done today.”

“Mama come?”

“Not today, Sweetie.  Today is just for you and Daddy.”

“You’re welcome to....” Kent started then trailed off when Charisma adamantly shook her head.

“No.  You said it yourself - if we’re going to do this... be separated, we need to do this right from the beginning.  Besides, you need some time with Adam and I’m waiting on a phone call,” her eyes skittering away from his at the last.  Kent cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh?  Anyone I know?” he asked with an understanding smile.

Charisma shrugged.  “I’m hoping to have lunch with Brianna, but....”  The phone rang at that moment and Charisma looked at the display with a frown.  “Excuse me.”  Kent nodded though she was already moving away from him.  He watched her go, then extended his hand to Adam.

“C’mon Boy... let’s go get your coat and go see some dinosaurs.”

“And Br’anna?” Adam asked guilelessly.

Kent looked in Charisma’s direction.  “I don’t know about that, Son.  I don’t know if Brianna will be at the Mall today.  But we’ll go see the dinosaurs.  That’ll be fun, right?”

“YES!” Adam declared vehemently, then he took Kent’s proffered hand and together they headed upstairs to Adam’s room.  Kent chanced to look back just as they reached the landing and saw Charisma’s shoulders slump slightly before she straightened and nodded.  When she hung up the phone she went into her office without a backwards glance and Kent and Adam continued on to Adam’s room.

Within minutes Adam was kitted out and ready to go, and he dashed down the stairs to find Charisma.  Kent followed at a much more leisurely pace, not surprised to see Charisma step from her office and close the door behind her before Adam reached her.

She reached down and lifted him off the ground with a groan.  “You’re soon going to be too big for Mama to pick you up like this anymore, Son.  You go have a good time with Daddy, and I’ll see you later, all right?”

Adam hugged her tightly, then used her body as a catapult to launch himself in Kent’s direction.  Only good reflexes kept it from being a disaster, and Kent scooped Adam out of mid-air even as Charisma tried to catch her breath.  Kent turned concerned eyes on her.

“You all right?”

She grimaced and nodded.  “It’s been a while since he stepped there; I think he was still on the inside then and he wasn’t quite as heavy as he is now.  You boys go have a good time; I’ll be here when you get ho... back.”

“I take it lunch is a no-go then,” Kent spoke as he set Adam down to retrieve his outerwear.

“You’d be right,” Charisma replied, not meeting his eyes.

“Pa?”

“I need to get ready, Boy, then we’ll go all right?  I need to put on my coat and things so we match.”

“Kay.”  Kent looked back at Charisma, and noted her attention was focused on Adam.  Kent finished adjusting his coat over his body and flattened his collar, then stepped into Charisma’s personal space and lifted her chin.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Charisma shook her head emphatically, driving him to free her chin from his grasp.  “No!  That would just be... weird.  I can’t talk to you about this.”

He buttoned his coat and pulled a hat from his pocket, pulling it low over his ears, but not so low as to inhibit conversation.  “Why?”  He held up his hand to keep her from answering. “Charisma, we were friends first and you are still one of my very best friends, remember?  Friends are there for each other and I don’t think there are going to be many other people you can really talk to about this – not that will try to understand and support you.  There’s Brianna of course, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk to her until you’ve got things clear in your own heart and mind.  There’s Okasa, but that could get awkward considering she loves you both like her own.  I suppose you could talk to your friend Esmeralda; she does have the advantage of being a lesbian in a long-term relationship.  I don’t really know her well enough to know if she could offer the kind of support you need though.  We won’t even go into your political colleagues and acquaintances,” smirking when Charisma shivered delicately.  “So as I see it I’m your best bet.”  He paused when a flash of honest confusion washed over Charisma features.

“Why?  Why would you want her to take your place?”

This time he took her face in both hands and forced her to look at him when he spoke.  He wanted her to see his sincerity and to know he meant what he was saying.  He also wanted her to recognize the truth of his words.  “Charisma, Brianna Walker will never take my place.  For years she’s had a place in your heart and your mind that I will never touch - she doesn’t need mine.  So when you get ready to talk and you need someone to talk to, call me.  I’ll be there for you.”

“Why?” she asked again.

“Because you deserve to find real happiness, and you need Brianna Walker to do that.”

Kent leaned forward and brushed a kiss over Charisma’s forehead, noting her stiffening that melted almost immediately.  She covered the hands that cupped her face and pressed them with her fingers gently before releasing it and stepping through the kitchen towards the back door.  Kent took her cue and turned to the alarm, keying in the code, then nodding at her.  She opened the door, and Kent grasped Adam’s hand and together they walked to the SUV.  Kent got Adam secured into his car seat, then he pulled out of the garage as they headed out to hunt dinosaurs.  Adam turned and waved, and Charisma stood at the door and waved back.  Kent just gave her a crooked smile, and it reminded her why she’d married him.

She waited until Kent closed the garage door behind them, then she shut the door and moved back towards her study.  It was going to be a long day.

************

One of the nicest things about having a politically minded wife, Kent Rockwell decided, was having access to a parking garage within the city limits of Washington, D.C. proper.  He pulled the SUV into Charisma’s space, then removed Adam from all the belts and buckles holding him fast in his car seat.  Adam knew to wait for Kent so he clutched Kent’s pant leg until he could take his daddy’s hand.  Then together they crossed the garage to the elevator and headed out towards the Mall.  The day was cold, but not biting and it was a nice walk across the street to the Mall.  Adam held Kent’s hand tightly and looked around with wide eyes.

“Br’anna?” he finally asked, recognizing the place where they’d run into her the week before.  Kent looked around carefully and shook his head. 

“I don’t see her, Boy,” his shoulders dropping just the least bit.  He’d been hoping for luck today.  He wanted to talk to her and Kent had the distinct feeling that Adam’s presence might be the icebreaker they needed.  Still he wasn’t going to go traipsing through the National Gallery looking for her.  If he was to stumble upon her here, it was going to have to happen like it did before.  Otherwise he would make it a point to seek her out privately either at her apartment or in her Senate office.

Kent looked down at Adam.  “C’mon, Son.”  He pointed to another museum down from the gallery.  “That’s where we’re going.  That’s where the dinosaurs are.”  Adam grinned and started tugging on Kent’s hand, laughing infectiously when Kent scooped him up and spun them around.  Then Kent set Adam back on his feet and they raced off across the Mall for the museum.

************

Brianna stood on the steps of the National Gallery, hidden behind a column but still able to see the tableau taking place just below her.  She smiled wistfully at the happiness she was witnessing.  Then she turned her back and made her way into the gallery itself.  Maybe a few more minutes spent looking at Diana would restore a measure of her peace.

************

Charisma seated herself at her desk and pulled her work forward, determined to get something productive done while she waited for Kent and Adam to return from their outing.  She assumed it wouldn’t be a problem; many were the Sundays when she’d buried herself in her study to work while Kent and Adam were elsewhere.  But today she couldn’t seem to settle down and concentrate on much of anything.  She blew out an impatient breath when she realized she’d checked the clock six times in five minutes.

With a frustrated sigh Charisma pushed the papers away from her and stood, crossing to the window to stare sightlessly across the yard that still held snow in the shady spots.  She glanced at the clock again.  Despite what Kent had implied earlier, there was actually something she could talk to Okasa about regarding the whole situation.  She just had to wait until her parents were back from Mass.  Thankfully they tended to go to early service, which meant they should be home shortly.  Patrick and Okasa always went out to brunch with friends after church, but they were still usually home in the very earliest part of the afternoon.

Charisma decided to go fix herself a cup of coffee to pass a bit of time, and when she returned to her office she decided to chance a phone call.  The phone rang three times before it was answered and when it was picked up, Patrick was on the other end.  “Hello?”

“Hi Daddy.”

“Hi Princess,” he replied and Charisma could hear the smile in his voice.  “How’s my baby girl today?”  Patrick wondered what was going on.  Charisma never called at this time of day.  Even on Sunday she was always working.

“Not much.  Kent took Adam to the Natural History Museum a little while ago.”

“That’s nice,” wondering any number of things, but mostly why Charisma was indulging in small talk.  “Is everything okay, Charisma?”

“Yes, Daddy.  I just... is Mama there?”

“She’s getting changed out of her Sunday clothes.  Hang on a second.”

Charisma could hear the rustle of material as Patrick moved and then there was a low murmur of voices.  It seemed like only a minute passed before Okasa spoke into the receiver.  “Charisma?  What’s wrong, Baby Girl?”

Charisma took a deep breath, and Okasa waited patiently.  They had a fairly regular schedule that they followed and had for years.  It meant they knew when to expect visits and phone calls so they could plan accordingly.  So for Charisma to call unexpectedly out of the blue meant something was up.   Okasa suddenly realized that had happened... especially the phone calls... with much greater frequency since Brianna had crashed back into Charisma’s life, and she wondered fleetingly if that was what this was about as well.  Then Charisma was speaking and she didn’t have time to wonder anything except how honest to be.

“Mama, how did you respond when Brianna told you how she felt... about me, I mean?”

There was silence for a moment while Okasa considered her answer.  “She never told me, Charisma.  I knew.  Just as I knew....”  Okasa trailed off, not willing to start down that road with Charisma  especially over the phone.

“You knew what, Mama?”

“I knew that Brianna loved you, Charisma.”

“That wasn’t what you were going to say, Mama,” Charisma accused but Okasa remained silent, waiting for Charisma to pursue that line of thought.  Instead Charisma took a deep breath.  “Tell me what your reaction was when you discovered Brianna was in love with me?”

“What do you want to know, Charisma?  I had a long time to understand what was happening; I watched it take place in front of me over the course of years.  It didn’t change how I felt about either of you – you’re still my children... both of you.”

“And how did you reconcile that with the teachings of the Church?”

Okasa blinked.  Whatever she’d expected this hadn’t been on the list of possibilities.  She was well aware that Charisma only attended church with the family when she was home because it was expected of her.  But Okasa didn’t know what Charisma really believed or what had turned her away from the Church in the first place.  Okasa bit her lips as she considered her words carefully.  “Over the years there has been more than one occasion when the Church’s doctrine and my personal faith haven’t meshed for any number of reasons.  This would be one of those instances.  I cannot believe that the God who loved the world so much He gave His Son for it would condemn love of any kind.  Do you remember your Catechism – I Corinthians thirteen?”

“The love chapter,” Charisma whispered.

“Yes... the love chapter.  Love never fails; so the Church and I go our separate ways on this issue.  For me it’s a matter of faith... what I believe in my heart.”

“And it never bothered you that Brianna was a woman?”

“I never quite understood the desire to be with another woman that way myself.  But did it bother me?” Okasa pinched her lip between her fingers while she pondered Charisma’s question.  “No... I can honestly say it didn’t bother me.  I know Brianna’s heart – she is a wonderful, caring human being.  And frankly speaking she’s a beautiful woman.  What’s not to love?”  Charisma smiled at the truth of her mother’s words, then the smile faded and her expression grew pensive.  The silence grew so large Okasa was finally compelled to break it.  “Charisma?  Are you still there, Daughter?”

“When did you know about me, Mama?” the query so quiet that Okasa had to strain to make out the words.

“Oh, Sweetheart – I told you... I watched it happen over the course of years.  I don’t know if I could pinpoint a moment when I realized just exactly what Brianna was to you.  But I knew Brianna was someone special to you the first time you brought her home.  Paddy had told me about her when he got back from the university, and I honestly couldn’t wait to meet her.”

“Mama, I wasn’t in love with Brianna when I brought her home with me the first time.  I just... I just couldn’t leave her to fend for herself... not after I met her parents,” cringing at the memory her words conjured.  “She deserved better than them for a family, and I knew that we could give that to her.”

“When did you realize you were in love with Brianna, Daughter?”

“I don’t... I’m not....”

“Charisma... take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  The only one who refuses to see or acknowledge who and what Brianna Walker is to you is you.”

“Mama, it’s not that simple.”

“Sweetheart, you’re the one making it hard.  Maybe you should sit down and figure out what is important to you.”

“What about Kent... and Adam?”

“Sweetheart, we love Kent and he will always be a part of this family no matter what just like Brianna has always been.  I have a feeling when you figure out what is best and right for you, everything else will fall into place... for them and for you.”

Silence as Charisma absorbed Okasa’s words.  Then, “I need to go, Mama.  I love you.”

“We love you, Charisma.  That will never change.”

The sound of a dial tone was Charisma’s only response.  Okasa turned to Patrick who had been standing close enough to overhear the entire conversation.  “You think...?”

“I can only hope.”

Part 15