Chapter LXVII

Brianna smirked as she leaned against the doorjamb, watching Charisma dig through her purse for the keys she swore she had.  They were just back from Gypsum’s party, and it was closer to the next morning than it was to the previous night.  She wasn’t sure what exactly they had accomplished by attending, but it had been interesting.  Brianna had learned all kinds of fascinating things through simple observation and listening.  It was amazing what you could learn by staying sober when everyone around you was getting plastered.

Brianna turned her attention back to Charisma, a frown furrowing her brow as she wondered how much alcohol Charisma had consumed once they’d been separated.  Since it had been a political party that had happened fairly early as there was wheeling-dealing to be done and pacts to be made with the devil though Brianna had stayed outside most of that simply due to her very junior status.  Because despite the fact the she held a senior Senator’s seat, she herself was considered a plebe.  So she was free to wander from group to group and observe.

With an impatient sigh she took the purse from Charisma and tucked it under her arm, then removed the keys from Charisma’s hand.  Brianna found the appropriate one and inserted it, then opened the door and motioned Charisma to enter with a flourish.  Then she turned to wave Turq off as she followed and closed the door behind them.

Charisma set the alarm code, then accepted the keys from Brianna with a smirk though the color of her skin told its own story.  She stepped out of her shoes with a sigh and dropped her purse on the hall table, then headed straight for the kitchen.  Brianna chuckled and followed suit then consented to the water Charisma offered with a nod of her head.

“Man, that’s good,” she said after guzzling down half the bottle.  “I think everything being served to night was at room temperature.”

Charisma grimaced.  “I think so too.  I know my martini could have used a little more ice.”

“Martini singular?” Brianna asked causing Charisma’s head to jerk up until Brianna found herself pinned by a bright blue stare.  Brianna met her glare for glare and added an arched eyebrow for good measure.  “Hey, you were the one who couldn’t find the keys in your hand.”

“Yes, martini singular,” Charisma replied gruffly.  “There was no way I was even getting slightly punch drunk tonight.  There were too many sharks circling.”

Brianna’s second eyebrow joined the first in her hairline.  “Trouble?” she asked, taking another swallow of water.

Charisma bit her lips thoughtfully as her eyes grew distant, then finally shrugged and brought her attention back to Brianna.  “I’m not sure.  I always keep an eye out at these functions; you never know what’s brewing until the alcohol starts flowing.  But there was a lot of weirdness tonight.”  She shook her head.  “What did you think of your first political soiree?”

“I think these people need to work more and drink less,” Brianna replied dryly without a second’s hesitation.  Charisma’s burst into unexpected laughter and Brianna just stared at her with fond amusement.  When Charisma was able to contain herself she put a hand on Brianna’s shoulder.

“Don’t you ever go changing, Brianna Brianna.  I love you just the way you are.  Now,” turning and scooping up her water bottle, “what do you say to calling it a night?  I don’t know about you, but I’m beat and ready to get out of these fancy clothes and into bed.”

“Yeah... I’ve been ready to put on some comfortable clothes since I tried this dress on this morning,” Brianna said in a slightly higher tone than normal.  Though she knew Charisma meant nothing suggestive by it, Brianna’s mind had taken Charisma’s words as an invitation and gone to town with her libido.  She cleared her throat and willed the images away.  “Besides, I’d like to get a few z’s before the sun comes up in a little while,” gesturing towards the clock.

Charisma winced.  “On the plus side, we don’t have a schedule to keep tomorrow.  Do you have anything going on Monday?”

Brianna tilted her head in thought.  “Not that I can think of, but honestly, I’m not firing on all cylinders either at the moment.”

“I can relate,” Charisma said with a yawn.  She wrapped her free hand around Brianna’s arm and hauled her towards the door gently.  “C’mon.  I’m pretty sure I hear a couple beds calling our names,” stopping to pick up her shoes and purse before maneuvering them up the stairs together.  “I’ll see you in the morning?” as they reached Brianna’s room for the night.

“It won’t be bright and early,” Brianna chuckled, “But I’m pretty sure I’ll be here when you get up.”

Charisma hesitated, then lightly squeezed the arm she held before releasing her grip.  She crossed the few steps that led to her room, giving Brianna a wave before she opened the door and entered.  Brianna watched her go, then went into the guest room Charisma had given her.  It only took a few minutes to remove the dress and brush her teeth.  She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

************

Kent entered the house some time later.  He wasn’t particularly quiet, but he didn’t announce himself either as he had no expectation of anyone being in the house with him.  He walked upstairs and went straight to his rooms, which were at the opposite side of the house from Charisma’s.  He looked around with an unbiased eye, recognizing that his space in this place was much like his apartment in New York – it was his space. He could still remember sharing space with Charisma though that had ended once Adam had been born.  And now that he considered it, it had been as much his decision as it had been her request. He spent a few minutes wondering why he’d let things come to this without taking some sort of decisive action one way or another.

Unwilling to waste time in pointless speculation Kent went directly to the closet and grabbed his largest suitcase, opening it and placing it on the bed.  Then he turned back to the room and began to consider the things he wanted to take with him to make his apartment more than a stopping point.  It was time to make that his home.

He went downstairs to the family room first.  There were a few pictures and mementos that he definitely wanted... things from before his time with Charisma as well as those that marked their years together. There weren’t many, but there had been some good times, and he wanted something to remember them by.

Keepsakes in hand, he made his way back upstairs to begin his packing.

************

Coral arrived at the house at almost the identical minute that Mal did, having been sent by Amber the moment Kent had shown up to let Esmeralda know what was going on.  Surprisingly everyone was up and gathered around the table eating breakfast when the two of them walked into the kitchen side by side.  Esmeralda took one look at both of them and motioned them to take a seat.  Without a word Saphira and Ruby rose and put two plates together while Opal poured them coffee.  Saphira topped off her cup as well as Ruby’s then they took spots behind Esmeralda leaning against the counters while the rest waited for Esmeralda to speak.

“I’m guessing that Kent is at Charisma’s,” glancing at Mal, “and Amber sent you to make sure I knew.”

“Pretty much, yeah.  I stuck around long enough to see him grab a suitcase.”  Coral turned and met Mal’s eyes.  “Where were you?  We figured we’d see you as soon as he showed up.”

“You would have if I hadn’t been trying to get a hold of someone here.  Is the phone off the hook or something?  Because I kept getting a busy signal.”

Esmeralda frowned.  “I don’t think so.  Phira?”

“I’m on it,” Saphira said as she padded out into the hall.  “Oh,” she said after a moment’s inspection.  “It appears we disconnected the phone from the wall jack at some point.  Not really sure what that’s all about.  But it’s fixed now.”

“Thank you, Love,” Esmeralda said as Saphira re-entered the room.  Saphira gently squeezed her shoulder but didn’t say anything as she resumed her sentinel position behind Esmeralda.  Esmeralda looked back at the two newcomers and focused her attention on Mal once more.  “So I take it Amber sent you as soon as she saw you?”

“Pretty much.  Said she’d keep an eye on things; that I needed to get here and find out why the phone lines weren’t working.”

“Did you see anything?” Ruby asked, startling Esmeralda and everyone else seated around the table.   “We know he got out a suitcase – did you see him put anything in it?”

“Just some oddball stuff,” Mal offered with a frown.  “I was downstairs when I was trying to call you – I knew he couldn’t leave without going by me so I figured I was safe enough there, ya know?” seeing the nods of agreement.  “Instead when he came downstairs he went into the den and gathered up some things... mostly pictures... and headed straight back to his room.  By that point I figured someone must be on the phone since I couldn’t get through so I followed him.  That’s when I met Amber and she told me she’d stay until I could get back to relieve her or Opal and Indi showed up.”

“All right, ladies,” Esmeralda said with a smile at Opal and Indi.  “Go get ready to start your day.  As soon as Mal’s done with breakfast, you can leave together.  I know it doesn’t matter when you’re ethereal and not using earthly transportation, but I’d feel better if you would all stick together.”

“You think something’s gonna happen?” Saphira asked, a concerned frown covering her face.

“I certainly hope not,” Esmeralda said fervently.  “But Mal has been on her own for a few weeks except for her few dashing visits back here while Kent was shadowing Charisma.  It won’t hurt to let her enjoy a few minutes of company with us... or them,” gesturing to Opal and Indi who had stopped at the door when Saphira voiced her concerns.  “Besides, I’m fairly certain Charisma and Brianna will spend most of their day indoors after last night.  And speaking of which,” she added, turning to Coral, “how was that little get together?”

“Brianna could write a tell-all book just on the things she learned last night and she’d be able to retire on the profits from it... let alone the movie rights.  Charisma... well, you’ll pretty much have to talk to Amber.  They got split up almost immediately, and it was only when Charisma went in search of Brianna so they could leave that they were together again.”

“Like culling the herd?”

“I’m not sure that’s the right analogy,” Coral replied slowly.  “Charisma was pulled into the movers and shakers who were trying to put together some sort of deal.  Brianna was basically left to her own devices – they don’t see her as part of them, nor do they think she’s a threat.  After all, she’s only a place saver right?  How much damage can she do?”

Esmeralda smirked.  “They have no idea who she really is, do they?”

Coral’s laughter was contagious and it went around the table swiftly.  “No... and I don’t think she’s going to let them know until it’s too late.”

“I wonder if Charisma is even aware.”

“I doubt it.  It’s not something her family would have shared before, and they won’t share now thinking it’s Brianna’s place to do so if she thinks she should.”

Saphira cleared her throat and shook her head.  “And the hits just keep on coming.”

************

It was the sound of a door closing that brought Kent out of the brown study he’d fallen into as he went through his rooms choosing things to take back to Manhattan with him.  His brow furrowed and he wondered if he was just imagining things.  Charisma wasn’t supposed to be home today, was she?  He was pretty sure she hadn’t mentioned anything to him, but there was a lot of her life he wasn’t privy to, he was discovering.

He heard a second door close and went to his door, intending to let Charisma know he was home and see if perhaps she wanted to join him for brunch somewhere later.  His packing could wait – after all, he was on his own schedule for getting things moved, and maybe if he and Charisma talked, they might resolve a few things.  At least Kent would know for certain where he stood instead of coming to his own conclusions though he was the first to admit that his conclusions were sound and backed by the evidence of his own eyes and ears.

When he reached the door and opened it however, he discovered not Charisma, but Brianna Walker making her way slowly down the stairs.  She paused along the way, looking at the pictures hung along its length, and Kent wondered what she thought about them.  Most of them were of Adam as he grew, but a few of them were of them as a family.

He watched until she was far enough down the staircase that her head disappeared from view.  Only then did he close the door and resume his packing, wondering curiously what would change if he announced his presence in the house. 

He let himself contemplate that scenario for a long moment, then shook his head.  He had a feeling it would only make them all uncomfortable.  So he decided to finish his packing and wait until they were engrossed in whatever they had planned for the day before he took his leave.  He doubted Charisma would even notice the rental car parked by the garage unless they went out.  And judging from the lateness of the hour, he doubted that would happen for a while.  If it did, well... he’d figure it out when it happened.  He had enough to consider at the moment.

The scent of coffee wafting up the stairs made his stomach growl and Kent realized he was more than a little ravenous.  He turned his attention back to his half-filled luggage – the sooner he was done, the sooner he could get a bite to eat.

************

“Morning,” Charisma offered handing Brianna a cup of coffee as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen.  Brianna inhaled deeply, a satisfied smile crossing her face before she allowed herself that first fulfilling sip.  “How’d you sleep?”

“Ahhhh....” Brianna breathed.  “That’s wonderful,” arching a brow at Charisma’s cocky smirk.  “What??  It’s good coffee – this is made just the way I like it.”

“I was hoping I remembered correctly,” Charisma said.

“Oh yeah... this is perfect.  Thank you, Ri.”

“Welcome anytime, Bri... you know that.  Now, how’d you sleep?”

“Wonderfully if not nearly long enough.  I don’t know how you keep this pace.”

Charisma snorted.  “What pace?  We’re off as often as we’re working.”

“Maybe, but even when you’re off, there’s always something going on.”

“Wasn’t it that way with the law as well?  Especially once you started working for the DA’s office?”

“Not like this,” Brianna admitted.  “There’s politics, and then there’s POLITICS.  And politics doesn’t involve nearly as much schmoozing as POLITICS does.  However,” she added before Charisma could break in, “I’m learning a lot.  It’s funny thing things you see and hear when you’re an observer in a room full of posturers.  I could write a book.”

Charisma snorted.  “I’ll just bet you could.  Of course for your own safety, you’d have to live in another country once it was published.”

“Yeah, but imagine the made-for-TV movie it’d make.”

“You are very, very bad.”

“Thank you,” Brianna accepted with a smirk.  “I’ve been perfecting my technique for years.”

“Well, if worse comes to worst, you can sell it on eBay.”

“Oh no you didn’t,” Brianna stated flatly.  Charisma laughed.

“Sure I did.  It was easy.”  She reached for Brianna’s coffee cup.  “You want another?”

Brianna hesitated for a split second before she nodded.  “I shouldn’t, but yes, please.”

“All right.  It’ll take a couple minutes.  Why don’t you go upstairs and grab your album then meet me at my office door?  It’s the room you found me in that night....” trailing off with a sense of relief when Brianna nodded her head in understanding.  “Good... see you in a few then?”

”You betcha.  Be right back.”

Brianna left the kitchen and headed back upstairs slowly, still fascinated by the pictures that lined the wall.  Many of them were of Adam, but there were a few of the three of them; posed studio pictures but lovely shots nonetheless.  Brianna smiled though there was as much sadness in her heart as there was happiness.  She was glad that Charisma was happy; she just wished she had been the one to put the smile on her face.  With a shrug Brianna straightened her shoulders and put her fruitless thoughts behind her.  Then she entered the guest room she was using and claimed the photo album that held the memories she still held dear to her heart, and without a backwards glance ran lightly down the stairs to meet Charisma.

Maybe she could finally lay these ghosts to rest.

************

Kent finished with his packing just as he heard Brianna make her way down the stairs once more.  He wondered what was so important that she felt the need to break one of Charisma’s cardinal rules and run down the stairs.  He was a little surprised he didn’t hear Charisma say something about it as even he had been admonished for it a time or two.  Of course, Adam didn’t seem to be around so perhaps it wasn’t quite as important to worry about setting a good example.

Regardless Kent looked around the rooms once more, then nodded his head in satisfaction and zipped his suitcase closed.  He hefted it with a bit of a grunt and headed downstairs.  With a bit of luck they would be engrossed in whatever and he’d be able to make a clean getaway.

They were neatly ensconced on the couch in Charisma’s study, heads bent together over something he couldn’t see but that obviously meant a lot to both of them.  He stood off to one side of the doorway, realizing that once again Charisma had left the door open thinking she was alone in the house except for the company she was obviously sharing in her private space – bringing home again just how little of her life he actually shared.

He sighed as he watched them, seeing more than they probably realized they showed.  There was amusement and adoration and love that flowed between them like a palpable thing even though nothing untoward was going on.  They weren’t sitting too close or gazing too long and yet it was clear to him that there was certainly more between them than simple friendship.

He wondered if he should fight for his wife... for their marriage and family.  Then he saw a smile that hadn’t graced her face once in the years they had known one another.  And he picked up his bag and walked through the kitchen towards the garage.  He had places to be.


Chapter LXVIII

Brianna accepted her coffee from Charisma as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, eyebrows popping when Charisma put a key in the lock of her study door before opening it and ushering Brianna in ahead of her.

“Adam,” Charisma said succinctly, leading the way over to the sofa.  She set her mug on the table next to the album she’d moved downstairs the day before, prior to Brianna’s arrival.  Brianna followed her example, easing the thick book onto the table and placing her cup beside it.

“Adam?”

“You were wondering why the door was kept locked – Adam.”  Charisma took a seat and motioned Brianna to do the same, smiling when Brianna dropped onto the couch beside her.  “When Adam was first learning to get around – crawling and walking – we discovered no place was safe from him.”  Charisma sighed.  “I’ve always kept this room closed and Kent has always respected that.  This is my space – I do a lot of work in here and before Adam was born, I conducted a lot of business with my colleagues here as well.  Not as much anymore, but there was a time this place was utilized almost as much as my office on the Hill.”

Brianna looked around and nodded.  “I can see that.”

Charisma laughed.  “Oh it was much more pretentious at one time – very awe-inspiring,” she added with a dramatic roll of her eyes.  “But once Adam came along, I started changing it.  I had to.  There were times he had to be in here with me regardless of what else was going on around me.  And then he started being mobile.”

“I take it was a steep learning curve.”

Charisma snorted.  “I really hadn’t thought about it – I mean... he was a baby, right?  How much harm could he do?”  She shook her head and smiled wryly when Brianna erupted into undisguised hilarity.  “I didn’t even realize he was big enough or coordinated enough to open the door on his own, but I completely underestimated the force of his determination.”

“What did he get into?”

“Fortunately nothing that could hurt him, and nothing that wasn’t fairly easy to replace.  It took a week to get all the ink off of his skin, and I did have to replace the carpet in here.”

“Which is why it’s a nice deep burgundy.”

“And why my printer cartridges are currently in a locked drawer out of his reach.”

Brianna chuckled.  “Would you have believed this?  If ten or fifteen years ago someone had told you we’d be sitting here having coffee together, laughing over the antics of your son, would you have believed them?”

“I’d have had them committed,” Charisma returned dryly though Brianna could see the latent pain in the back of her blue eyes.  “For any number of reasons,” she added as a belated afterthought.  “I mean I wasn’t even married ten years ago, and you KNOW what Mama would have done if I’d come home pregnant without a husband.”

“It would have sucked to have been you,” Brianna said sagely.

Charisma chuckled.  “No kidding.”  She leaned forward, snagging her coffee cup in one hand and her album in the other.  “C’mon... we need a starting place to begin catching up, and I think the beginning is probably going to be the best place.”

Brianna took a deep breath and nodded, then followed Charisma’s example – clutching her mug in one hand and grasping the book with the other.  Then they leaned back and looked at one another, and as though touched by the same unseen hand they opened the albums to the first picture of their trip and sat looking in silence for a long moment before exclamations overcame them.

Not surprisingly the first picture in both albums was similar – them at the airport, arms wrapped around each other waving wildly at the camera.  They stared at the photographs, then looked at one another.

“Mama O gave it to me when I went to see her that first time after....”  Brianna broke off and Charisma nodded her understanding.  “I couldn’t say no – especially since it reminded me how happy we’d been setting off on that trip of a lifetime.”

“When did you put your album together?” Charisma asked suddenly, her curiosity overriding her prudence.  Brianna frowned and pursed her lips in thought.

“Not long after I came home, I guess.  I was at law school and I was... truthfully, I was depressed.  Now I’ll admit that it was my own fault – I was the one who walked way, and I’m the one that decided I could suffer three New England winters to get my JD from an Ivy League school – but that knowledge didn’t make me less depressed.  It was after my first family holiday without you but before Christmas....”  Brianna closed her eyes and let herself travel back across the years she and Charisma had been apart.  Those first had been the most painful so they were harder to dredge up.

“Bri... it’s not critical if it hurts you to remember,” Charisma offered softly.   Brianna opened her eyes and gave Charisma a sad smile.

“It does, but I think it’s good to remember.  I think it’s time these memories were purged.  Maybe it will eradicate the pain and we can replace them with happier thoughts.”

“If you’re sure....”

“I am.”  Brianna scrunched up her forehead.  “It was right before finals and I couldn’t focus on anything.  So I called Mama O.  I didn’t know whom else to call.  I had made a few friends in law school, but it wasn’t anything serious at that point.  We were all still feeling our way around the whole law school thing and worried about projects and grades and it was just a whole lot of craziness at the time.”

“You did make friends, though... right?” Charisma broke in unexpectedly.

“Oh yes,” Brianna assured her.  “It got easier after the first semester – we had time to do more than eat sleep and breathe the law.  I think they use that semester to weed out all the candidates that see big bucks without seeing all the work that goes into it.”

Charisma dipped her head in acknowledgement.  “I think all the programs beyond a bachelor level tend towards that.  Saves a lot of grief if you get out early.”

“Saves a lot of student loan debt,” Brianna agreed wryly. 

Charisma laughed, then waved her hand in a ‘continue’ motion.  “I’m sorry I interrupted.  Please go on.”

“Where was I?” Brianna asked, rubbing her forehead.  “Oh yes – calling Mama O,” she responded before Charisma had a chance to react.  “I needed someone to talk to before I blew every chance I had of earning my JD to holy hell.  So I picked up the phone and dialed Okasa without even hesitating. I don’t remember what we talked about anymore – settling in, my studies, the family – I’m sure they were all part of the conversation at one point.  I do remember near the end of the discussion, she mentioned you and told me how you were doing.  She knew I needed to know, I guess, but she also knew I was too proud and too stubborn to ever ask.”

“What did she tell you?  Do you remember?”

“Just that Washington suited you and you seemed to be winning friends and influencing people already even as a Congressional aide.”

“I was, you know.  And I made sure to get pictures with all of them... for two reasons.”

“Which were?” Brianna asked when Charisma let the silence drag on.  Charisma smirked and Brianna rolled her eyes.

“The first was of course for my own benefit so I could show my brothers that I really did meet Presidents and foreign dignitaries and lesser political beings like Senators and Congressmen.”

“And the second?”

“I knew I’d need them for that tell-all book you would write about me someday.”

“Uh huh,” Brianna drawled out so slowly Charisma despaired of her actually finishing the word.  “And you were so sure I’d write that story despite everything that had happened?”

“Yes,” Charisma stated emphatically.  “You promised, and I knew that despite everything, you’d keep that promise when the time came.  Of course, I have to become President first.”

“Never say never, Ri.”

Charisma shrugged.  “We’ll see.  I’m not always sure I want it anymore.  Adam changed a lot for me.”

Brianna held her gaze for a long moment.  “I guess he did,” was her only comment. 

Charisma looked down at the albums and realized they hadn’t even turned a page yet.  “Good grief – at the rate we’re going, my son will have graduated from the Naval Academy before we get done.”

“The Naval Academy?” Brianna asked.  “Should I ask where that came from?”

“It’s Kent’s dream for Adam.  He always wanted to go, but he didn’t qualify scholastically.  Adam may not want that for himself, and when the time comes he’ll choose his own path.  But for the time being, we can use Kent’s dream for him.”

“It’s a nice dream,” was all Brianna said.

“Shall we?” Charisma asked readying the sheet to turn the page.  Brianna did the same and bobbed her head, and together they moved to the next picture... and the next memory... in their books.

************

There had been a lot of laughter and a lot of tears as they slowly made their way across Europe through their memories.  They were almost halfway when they reached Rome and Brianna shivered in pure reaction when she saw the photo Charisma had in her album.  Charisma looked up in concern, then grimaced when she noticed Brianna’s unnatural paleness.  She rapidly closed the book and set it on the table, then slid Brianna’s from her lap.  A moment later she was chafing Brianna’s cold fingers between her warmer ones.

“Oh God, Bri... I’m so sorry.  I didn’t even think....”

Brianna blinked and took a deep breath, then she squeezed Charisma’s hands lightly as she met her eyes.  “It’s okay, Ri.  I should have realized you might have pictures of the Coliseum – it is an impressive structure, after all.”

“Yeah, but I should have remembered how you reacted to the real thing when we were there and taken that picture out or something.”

“Charisma, it’s all right.  I didn’t even think about it; and I certainly didn’t expect to react that violently to a photograph.”

“Are you all right now?”

Brianna nodded.  “I think so.  It was like I was there again.”  She shook her head to clear the thought.  “I like it here much better.”

“Me too.  You want to keep going or do you need a time out?”

Brianna cocked her eyebrow and smirked.  “You are such a mom.  A time out?”

Charisma chuckled.  “At least I didn’t offer you the time-out chair,” motioning to a kid’s size chair next to her desk.  “I’m pretty sure you’d be more uncomfortable than Adam is when he sits there.”

Brianna looked at the chair and then back to Charisma.  “I’m pretty sure my knees would be up around my ears,” recognizing Charisma’s tactics and appreciating the effort.  “How about a bio break and maybe a snack stop before we start again?”

“Sounds like a plan.  Meet you back in here in fifteen?”

Brianna wasn’t gone that long, but Charisma had removed the Coliseum picture from her album and had snacks out on the table by the time Brianna made it back in the room.

“Better?” she asked solicitously though a smile graced her features as she noted the color that had returned to Brianna’s face.

“Much, thank you.  Now where were we?”

Charisma opened her album once more, to a picture of the two of them at the Vatican.  A lovely old nun had offered to take their photograph in front of the Pieta.  They had been appropriately somber for the picture, in deference to the older woman’s serious devotion as well as the stunning beauty of the work itself.

“Is it wrong,” Brianna asked in a hushed voice, “that I found that to be the most amazing thing about the Vatican?”

“I hope not.  I felt much the same way... as though its sheer simplicity was much grander than the obscene displays of wealth.”

Brianna’s eyebrows flew into her hairline at Charisma’s tone of disgust.  “I thought you were a good Catholic.”

“I am a recovering Catholic.  I have found parts of the religion that do not mesh with my faith.  So I don’t practice that religion anymore except to attend holiday mass with the family when we’re there.  It keeps Mama happy, and I don’t think it hurts anything.”

“Oooo-kaaay,” Brianna drawled slowly, letting her nod communicate that she did understand the intent of what Charisma was saying even if she wasn’t quite clear on the details.  “So any other pictures of Rome in that book?” she asked.

“Of course,” Charisma said with a smile.  “Augustus’ tomb, the Baths, the Spanish Steps....”

“So let’s see them,” Brianna goaded with a smile of her own.  “C’mon... you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

Charisma imagined and discarded several retorts before deciding to say, “Oh... you sweet talker you.  Show me what you’ve got.”

Brianna answered by reopening her album and Charisma did the same.  Then they stopped and blinked at the pages that were facing them.  Similar pictures this time, but noticeably different as well.  They stood in front of Trevi Fountain.  In Brianna’s they were facing the camera, arms wrapped tightly around one another as they were caught in a moment of laughter after having thrown their coins into the fountain.  Charisma’s however....

“I don’t remember that being taken,” Brianna said softly, keeping her eyes on the page.  Charisma glanced at the page, then focused her eyes on the far wall, hoping it would give her the answers she needed.  Brianna’s voice didn’t sound accusing, but it did sound a little lost.  Charisma took a deep breath, then started to speak.

“I’m not quite sure when that was taken.  You remember the lovely little girl that offered to take our pictures – we gave her our cameras,” seeing Brianna’s nod out of the corner of her eye.  “I think she took a picture using my camera first because I’m almost positive that was just before we turned to throw our coins over our shoulders.”

“Did you have two pictures in front of the fountain?”

Charisma shook her head.  “No... just the one.”  She took another deep breath.  “I’ve always felt like it was trying to tell me something, but....”  She shrugged.  “I don’t know.”  Finally she turned and looked at Brianna whose focus was still on the photograph in front of the fountain.

“Do you think I could have a copy of this?”

“Sure... absolutely – as long as I can have a copy of yours as well.”  Charisma paused.  “That was such a magical night, you know?  Everything about that trip was wonderful, but if I close my eyes, I can still hear the hawkers and smell the garlic and taste the gelato... well, not all at once of course,” grinning at the mental picture she’d painted.  “But I remember so clearly the rushing sound of the water; the lights and the shadows they cast; your smile; our laughter....”  Charisma sucked in a breath as truth dawned and recognition bloomed in her eyes.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Charisma?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you loved me?”

“I....”

“Don’t!!” fierce and commanding.  “Don’t play semantics with me about this.  You know what I mean.  Why didn’t you tell me that you were in love with me??”  She didn’t even give Brianna the chance to respond; Charisma shot off the sofa and crossed to the dark fireplace, absently wishing for flames to gaze into.  “Why didn’t I see it?” flinging her arm in the direction of the albums.  “It seems so obvious.  How did I miss this??”  Charisma turned back to the empty grate, keeping her eyes fastened there as though they would give her the answers she sought.  When she heard movement behind her, Charisma’s head shot up, and she glared balefully at Brianna.  “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I was....”

“I’d think very carefully about my answer if I was you.”  A beat.  “You were running away from me again, weren’t you?”

“I was just going to give you....”

“This was why you left me before, wasn’t it?” Charisma broke in again, running her hand through her hair in agitation.  She pinned Brianna with her eyes, and Brianna willingly held Charisma’s gaze.  “You promised you’d be honest with me – that you’d tell me why you left me that day in Barcelona if I asked the right question,” waiting for Brianna to nod.  “Did you walk away from me because you loved me?”

Brianna took a deep breath, but never dropped her eyes from Charisma’s.  “Yes,” she replied steadily.


Chapter LXIX

To say the expression on Charisma’s face was flummoxed would be an understatement of massive proportions, but to her credit she held Brianna’s eyes while a myriad of emotions swirled in her eyes.  Finally the swirling slowed though Brianna couldn’t rightly read what was left when Charisma took a deep breath before consciously relaxing her shoulders.

“Okay,” she said after a long moment of silence, accepting Brianna’s confession as the truth it was.  “Where do we go from here?”

“Where do you want to go, Charisma?  The ball’s in your court.”

“How do you figure?”

“You know now why I left twenty years ago, and like it or not it’s going to change the way you see me and how you interact with me if it hasn’t already.  Do I make you uncomfortable now?  Does it bother you to be in the same room with me?”

Charisma studied Brianna for a few minutes, and Brianna kept her eyes focused on Charisma’s.  If she was going to be judged for who she was, Brianna was going to make damn sure every measure counted.  It was hard to hear anything over the thudding of her heart, however, and she almost missed Charisma’s response.

“No.”

Brianna blinked when she realized that Charisma mouth had moved and sound had issued forth from it.  “Excuse me?”

Charisma smiled gently, understanding all too well exactly just how off-balance Brianna felt at the moment.  “No... you don’t make me uncomfortable and it doesn’t bother me to share space with you.  I would never have guessed... obviously.  I didn’t get it for the better part of twenty years, and only then when I was hit in the face with it so to speak.  I’m not sure I get the appeal; after all, you know me better than anyone in the world... or you did then.  I’m not sure why you’d want to be with someone like me.”

“You’re kidding, right?” almost a flat statement.

“Um... no?”

Brianna snorted and shook her head.  “Remind me some day, and we’ll sit down and I’ll explain it to you, all right?” watching Charisma nod slowly, trying to find understanding in Brianna’s words.  When Charisma’s brow crinkled, Brianna continued.  “Trust me, Charisma – it’s a story best left to another day.  When you have a chance to sit down and think about all this, you’re going to have questions.  And frankly I’d rather not have to go through this over and over and over again as you think of new things to ask me.”

“I do have one question I think I need to have answered now,” Charisma said, deliberately moving to sit on the couch and patting the seat beside her.

Brianna sighed, having a very good idea what was coming.  Still she took a seat next to Charisma – not too close but within reach.  Charisma gave her a withering look and tugged her closer.  “You’re the one letting this change us, Brianna Brianna, and I won’t let you do that unless it makes you uncomfortable that I know the truth.”

”But you still want to know if I still love you, don’t you?  Even if I’m uncomfortable.”

Charisma’s eyes widened as her brows slid upwards.  “Um... while I would actually like to know that to tell you the honest truth - it wasn’t the question I was going to ask.”

“Oh... um....”

“Brianna – it’s just you and me here.  And like you said, we’re going to have to figure out a time and a place to talk about all this.  There’s a lot that I need to understand and a lot you probably need to share.  I’d like to know what the family thinks and what Mama said to you and of course, we still have twenty years of life and memories to catch up on.  That being said - what I’d really need to know is why you ran away... why you were running away from me again.”

Brianna took a deep breath.  Nothing like starting with the tough stuff, she thought wryly.  Then she looked at Charisma squarely, figuring brutal honesty was her best bet.  Charisma would appreciate the truthful part, if not the manner in which it was delivered.

“I knew the first time... when I figured out that what I felt for you went beyond friendship... I knew that if I put you in the position of having to choose, I wouldn’t be the one to get chosen.  You couldn’t have chosen me then even if you’d felt as I did.  Too much of your career depends on your image and I knew in no uncertain terms that you didn’t love me the way I loved you.  You told me as much point blank.”  She held up her hands when Charisma opened her mouth.  “Please, Charisma – let me finish.  This is hard enough for me.”

“Okay.”

“I also knew I couldn’t stay.  I couldn’t be around you – not knowing that what I felt for you would never be returned.  I was unwilling to become a martyr... for my sake as well as yours.  Unrequited love is one thing; twisting a knife in it day after day wasn’t something I was prepared to live with.  And by leaving, I could pretend that we were still best friends – that my falling in love with you hadn’t changed things between us.”

When the silence dragged on, Charisma spoke.  “So you were running away this time because....”

“I really wasn’t sure how you were going to react.  And while I didn’t expect violence, I thought you might need some time and space to process,” waving her hand around, “all this.”

“I’m sure I will need some time and space to process all this as you put it.  But I’d rather you didn’t run away from me again ever.  We’ll get through this, Brianna Brianna.  I have faith.”

Brianna nodded.  “I hope so because I’ve missed having you in my life.”  She reached forward and closed her album, pulling it into her lap and folding her hands on top of it.  “However, I’m going to go now and give you a chance to think about all this and the differences it will make in your life and your way of thinking.  I know we still have to finish going through our albums, and we have a lot of other things to talk about besides.  But first I think you could probably use a little time to ponder things.  I’ll still be around if and when you’re ready to talk, and you know where to find me.”  Brianna rose from her seat and Charisma did the same.

“Are you sure?” biting her lip.

“Aren’t you?” smiling wistfully when Charisma’s head bobbed her acknowledgement slowly.  “All right, then – let me go grab my stuff from upstairs, and I’ll get out of your hair.”

“I really liked having you here, Bri – it was like old times.”

“Yes, it was.  I enjoyed being here.  Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that a lot,” Charisma replied before she could censor her words.  Brianna disappeared upstairs before Charisma could become embarrassed and slipped back downstairs almost immediately.  “That was quick.”

“Practice.”  She paused a moment, then resumed her speech.  “Listen, there’s one more thing you should know right now – it’s going to be the only way you’ll be able to figure things out completely.”  Brianna put her hand on the doorknob, praying Jas had been nearby when she called and she wouldn’t have too wait too long for her arrival.  “I do love you, Charisma – I think I always will.  But I’m not a home wrecker.  So if you decide that we can make this friendship work again, I’ll need to talk to Kent.  I won’t give him a reason to misunderstand our friendship because of my love for you.”

Charisma would have answered if she could have gotten words past her suddenly closed throat.  And if she’d had any idea what sort of response to make to Brianna’s declaration. Or if Brianna hadn’t escaped from her home as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

Charisma stood stunned for a few moments, hand at her throat as though trying to ease the pressure enough to draw a deep breath.  When she realized Brianna was no longer in the room, Charisma shook her head and yanked the door open....

... only to see taillights at the end of her driveway as Jas readied to pull the car onto the road.  Another moment and they were gone.  Charisma took a deep breath and closed the door.  Maybe it was time to talk to Mama.

************

“So did she call Okasa?” Esmeralda asked Indi some time later.  They were all scattered around the living room though Indigo and Opal had been holding court for quite a bit as she recounted their afternoon watching Charisma and Brianna.

“No... at least not in the remaining time that I was with her.  When Brianna left with Jas, Charisma stayed leaned up against the door for a few minutes muttering to herself.  When she finally straightened she walked back into the study and resumed her place on the couch, glaring at the album like it had caused the situation.  Honestly, Es... I would have laughed if things weren’t as serious as they are.”  She shrugged.  “As it is, she was making me a little seasick.”

Esmeralda frowned.  “How so?”

“I have a question first,” waiting for Esmeralda to signal her to go ahead.  “Is Charisma a paranoid schizophrenic or multiple personality?”

Esmeralda blinked so rapidly Indi expected her to take flight.  A glance at Opal showed she was plainly shocked by the question by the way her jaw swung unhinged.  Esmeralda shook her head.  “No, Indi... not at all.  Why do you ask?”

“Because,” Indi sighed deeply, “her actions this afternoon were beyond what I’d consider reasonable.”

“Okay.  What did she do that you consider unreasonable?”

“She was like a mad woman, Es.  First she cried a little and then she smiled and hugged the album to her like it was a precious child.  Then she cried some more and then she got angry – not the good kind of angry either.  Then she cried some more and looked through her pictures with that odd little sentimental smile on her face.  You know the kind I’m talking about.  Then she got mad again, and this time instead of muttering invectives, she paced and ranted and clenched her fists.  Then she sat down and cried and this time the crying was a deluge.”

“And after that?” Opal finally asked when the silence had gone on too long for her comfort.  She looked around and saw everyone staring at her as though she’d lost her marbles... everyone except for Esmeralda.  She nodded her approval of Opal’s question, and relieved, Opal turned back to Indi, waiting for an answer.  Indi gave her a half-smile.

“How did you know?”

“Because I know Charisma.  She may rant and rave and act like a lunatic by herself for a little while in the privacy of her own home.  Let’s face it... we all have to vent from time to time.  But she is far too much of a control freak to let anyone or anything wrest that control from her for very long.  If she had a good, long cry, she got the release she needed.  Even if the situation hasn’t been dealt with, she’s under control again and things can move forward.”

Esmeralda nodded her approval of Opal’s summation.  “I agree.  A lot of the outcome will depend on how true her words to Brianna were.  Because let’s face it – Brianna was correct when she told Charisma that the knowledge would change how Charisma thought of Brianna as a person and how she perceived their relationship... even one of friendship.”

“Yeah, but I really admire Brianna’s tenacity.  She didn’t back down and she didn’t take the easy road out by glossing over things or leaving things unsaid.  She laid it all on the line.”

“I don’t think Charisma expected that,” Opal replied to Indi’s observation though she was looking at Esmeralda when she said it.  Esmeralda cocked her head in a listening attitude and waited for Opal to continue.  “I got the impression she figured she’d get an answer to her first question – when she asked Brianna if she left all those years ago because she loved her.  Brianna promised to tell her the truth if and when she ever actually asked the right question, and as far as I can tell except for saying goodbye, Brianna has never broken a promise to Charisma.  But she seemed completely overwhelmed by the thoroughness of Brianna’s response.”

“Could she have done the same?”  The question caused all eyes to swing in Saphira’s direction.  Saphira shrugged.  “What??” looking around the room.  “It seems like a fair question.”

“It is a fair question.  I don’t think she could,” Esmeralda stated quietly.  “Given what we know of her history and behavior, probably not even now.”

“So she’ll prove Brianna right?”

“I didn’t say that,” Esmeralda replied to the anguish in Saphira’s voice as much as her words.  “Charisma has grown and changed in the years they’ve been apart just like Brianna has.  The difference is she has only half-lived – a large part of herself missing and hidden away because she refuses to see what she knows is true.”

“I dunno, Boss – you didn’t see bewildered look on Charisma’s face when Brianna confirmed that she loved her,” Indi offered hesitantly.

“But was it because of WHAT she said or the fact that she SAID IT at all?”  Esmeralda glanced at all the confused expressions looking back at her and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in an effort to relieve the tension headache she could feel building behind her eyes.  Without a word Saphira moved from her spot next to the fireplace and padded over to stand behind Esmeralda.  Saphira rested her hands on narrow shoulders and felt Esmeralda relax beneath her touch.

For a few minutes this went on until Esmeralda reached up and covered Saphira’s hands with her own.  Saphira stopped her kneading, but didn’t remove her hands from Esmeralda’s body.  She smiled when Esmeralda leaned back into her, and when she tilted her head back to meet Saphira’s eyes with her own the world ceased to exist outside of the two of them for a long moment.

Then Ruby cleared her throat and brought their attention back to the women in the room with them, trying valiantly to look anywhere but at the two of them.  Esmeralda colored delicately; Saphira merely raised an impertinent eyebrow.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds,” she said with a sarcastic smirk, “but we’re obviously missing something that you’re seeing, Es.  Can you share with the rest of us? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels like an idiot at the moment,” getting nods of agreement from around the room.

Esmeralda cleared her throat and nodded, then looked first at Opal, then at Indi.  “I want you two to concentrate for just a minute.  I want you to think about what you saw when Brianna made her initial confession... when Charisma asked if that was why she walked away.  I want you to focus on the expression on Charisma’s face – did you both see it?”

“I did.”

“Me too.”

“All right... now think.  Was she really surprised by the answer Brianna gave?  Was she surprised to hear Brianna loved her?  Or was she more surprised that Brianna GAVE her an honest answer?”

Opal and Indi let their sight turn inward as they replayed the incident in their mind’s eye.  Then they looked at one another, and Opal motioned for Indi to speak first.

“I think she was surprised to hear that Brianna left her because she loved her because she’s refused to see that for twenty years.  But I think the flabbergasted look on her face was probably because she actually got an answer... much more of an answer than she ever expected to hear.”

“Opal?”

“I think Indi’s right.  She got caught flatfooted by Brianna’s confession of love, but I got the feeling she was more surprised that Brianna admitted to it.”  She paused and bit her lip; Esmeralda simply waited.  “I think she knew – in the depths of her mind or the recesses of her heart or whatever – she knew why Brianna said goodbye.  But she was totally sucker punched by the fact that Brianna just put it out there for her to see... even if it was twenty years too late.”

“You think it was too late?” Turq asked.

“I think we wouldn’t all be here now if it was.  But that doesn’t mean we won’t get our happy ending; it just means we have to work at it a little harder.”

Esmeralda waited until she was sure Opal was done, then she turned to Jas.  “How was Brianna in all of this?  How was the drive home?”

“Stiff,” she replied succinctly, running a hand through her hair.  “She called me while she was upstairs packing her bag.  I was close, like you told me so when she stepped outside, I was waiting with the door open ready for her.”

“Wait... how’d you get in the locked gates?”

“Kent left and I drove in.  I was waiting at the bottom of the drive.”

“Very clever,” Saphira said approvingly.  Jas blushed.

“Well, we’re supposed to keep the Angel stuff to a minimum when we’re in mortal form.  I’m trying to play by the rules.”

“You did good, Jas... real good.  But how was Brianna stiff?  Like she was trying not to cry or she was angry or...?”

“More like she was trying to hold herself together.  I don’t think she was trying not to cry, but she was shaking like a leaf... like there was a sudden release of tension in her body and she wasn’t really sure how to live without it.”

“That’s probably exactly what it was.  Remember, she’s lived with this secret for half her life.”

“So she’s relieved...?”

“And terrified and happy and any one of a hundred other things.  It’ll be interesting to hear Coral’s take on her in the morning.”

“I’ve gotta tell you, Es – except for the fact that you actually look better and more rested because of this time off, I am hating this break thing,” Opal confessed.  “It was easier to keep an eye on them and things as they happened when we were with them in an office setting.  There was consistency there that I could appreciate instead of winging it like we are now.”

“Oh Opal... we’ve always been winging it,” Esmeralda offered with a smile.  “And you’re all doing a great job juggling things around for this holiday.  I suspect you and the rest will be going back to work before I will.”  She held up a hand to stop the concerned mutters around the room.  “Not because of my health, guys.  Think a minute.  Even while they’ve been out of session most of the House and Senate have been working, right?” seeing everyone nod slowly.  “So I figure you’ll be going back sooner than expected so that when they ‘officially’ resume business, they’ll be caught up and ready to go.”

“I hope it’s soon then,” Opal muttered.  “This is driving me nuts.”

“Short trip,” Ruby snarked, laughing at Opal’s look of indignation.  Still it was enough to break the tension in the room, and they headed to their rooms to settle in for the night in a much better frame of mind than they’d been in a while.  It was a good feeling.


Chapter LXX

“So she knows now?  You told her the truth?”

“She knows why I left her all those years ago – she knows that I love her,” Brianna answered.

“And what was her reaction?”

“She was pretty calm and rational about it all really, Mama O.  Acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal....”

“But...?”  Okasa hesitated, waiting to see if Brianna would continue her thought on her own.  When she didn’t, Okasa prodded a little bit.  “C’mon, Little Bri... remember who you’re talking to.  She really acted like you didn’t just change the very foundation of her world?”

Brianna bit her lip and shook her head, then realized Okasa couldn’t see her through the phone line.  “No.  I left before it really sank in, I guess.  Charisma deserved the chance to think about what I said and how it would change things for her.  Because despite everything, we both know that it will.”  She paused.  “On the other hand, she did seem a little shocked that I actually told her the truth.”

“Did you think she was surprised that you love her?”

“Maybe a little that I still do, but mostly I got the feeling she was more astounded by the fact that I actually admitted it.”

“And how are you?  How do you feel about all this?”

“Honestly, Mama?  I think I’m more relieved than anything else.  It’s like... I don’t feel like a different person, but I do feel like a whole one.”

Okasa nodded.  “So now what?”

“I don’t know,” Brianna admitted with the shrug apparent in her voice.  “I think that’s up to Charisma at this point.  There’s not a whole lot else I can do until she decides what she wants to do with this information.”  She sighed.  “I did tell her if she chose to go forward with our friendship, I would talk to Kent and tell him the truth about me.  I won’t come between them, Mama.  I won’t become a home wrecker, especially not hers.  And I’m not going to give him a reason to misunderstand what our friendship is – I’m not going to lie and sneak around about it.”

“And if he forbids it?  If he feels too threatened by you?”

“We’ll deal with it when the time comes.”

“Fair enough,” Okasa agreed.  “What about the letters?” she asked after a brief delay.

Brianna shook her head so vehemently Okasa could hear the motion through the phone.  “No.  I’m out far enough on this limb without exposing myself completely.  If the fact that I have loved her for twenty years despite everything doesn’t drive her away and if when she gets through with her soul searching she and I are still able to remain friends, then perhaps I will share them with her.  But until then?  No... I don’t think so.”

“But they’re hers!”

“Technically, they’re mine.  You gave them back to me before she ever saw them.  She doesn’t even know they exist.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” Okasa admitted slowly, bracing herself for the blowup she knew was coming when her words computed in Brianna’s mind.  It only took a second.

“Excuse me?” the words cold and deadly.

Okasa flinched but soldiered on, knowing she had to prepare Brianna for what was most likely headed her way sooner or later.  “She called me last night, ostensibly to check on Adam, but I could tell something had happened.  Her voice was rough... like she’d been crying and she seemed....  I’m not sure how to describe it – confused, but resolute.  She wouldn’t share anything with me; said there was nothing for me to concern myself over.”

“Um hmm... so how does that translate into her knowing about the letters, Okasa?”

“I’m getting to that,” Okasa replied plaintively, knowing she was in the wrong but hoping for absolution anyway.  “She had mentioned that you two were going to go to that party together, so I naturally asked how it had gone.”

“And?”

“I’m getting there.”  Okasa sighed.  “She said that you two had been catching up.”  She sighed again and fell silent, hoping Brianna would connect the dots and spare her the need to spell it out.

“Okasa, I think I’ve been pretty patient here, but you’re pushing my limits.”

“I’m sorry, Brianna... I really am,” Okasa rushed ahead.  “I thought when Charisma mentioned catching up, she meant from the beginning... from when you left.  I assumed that you let her read... I asked what she thought of them.  That’s all I said.”

“Until she asked what ‘them’ you were talking about.”

“Yes.  I thought....”  Brianna pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger and blew out a deep breath, cutting Okasa off mid-stream.  “I’m really sorry, Brianna.  I would’ve never....”

“I know, Okasa.  Nothing I can do about it now except deal with the fallout.”

“Bri....”

“I’ve got to go, Okasa.  I’ll call you later.”  Without another word Brianna hung up the phone and turned it off.  Then she moved over to the window where she could just make out the lights of several different memorials.  It was amazing how quickly a hand basket went to hell once it started down the slippery, steep slope.

At least it would all be over with quickly.  Despite Charisma’s assurances Brianna didn’t expect to come out of this unscathed.  It was just a matter of time.

************

When Charisma had first called Brianna – the Monday morning after Brianna’s confession - she’d already gone to her office and was up to her eyeballs in paperwork. And since she never turned her cell phone back on, she never realized Charisma had called until much later in the day.  When Brianna had returned the call, Charisma had already left DC to return to Okasa’s to check on Adam and meet with more of her supporters in several different districts.  So Brianna left a message and she and Charisma began a game of phone tag.

Charisma tried to reach Brianna again only to reach Brianna’s answering service, discovering that Brianna had left Washington and was meeting with the Governor, and from there had meetings with constituents in a few of her districts.

Back and forth they went for the better part of a week.  Trying to reach each other but only making the most minimal effort possible.  It was easy to blame it on work – they were busy.  But both knew that what needed to be said between them needed to be said face-to-face so it was easy to make their phone calls brief and impersonal and still keep in touch.

As Esmeralda had predicted, both Charisma and Brianna called their office staff back to work briefly though much of their work was done more informally than was considered normal.  Since they still technically had three more weeks of holiday before the new session resumed, it was mostly going through the mail that had accumulated.  Still it took several days to catch up, and so it was more than a week later before they actually found one another sharing personal space again.

It could have been awkward, those first few minutes together again.  It would have been had it not been for the fact that they were both too exhausted to make a big deal of things.  Instead they settled in like the old friends they were – at least to begin with.

************

“Rough week?” Charisma asked as they literally ran into one another in the hall outside their offices.  They’d bounced off each other and landed on opposite sides against the walls, and her question made Brianna snort.  That in turn made Charisma chuckle.  Then Brianna laughed, and soon the two of them couldn’t stop.  Every time they thought they had it under control, one would look at the other and it would start all over again.

The sound brought their respective staffs to the doorways of their offices, and they exchanged looks before turning around and heading back to their work.  That just made Charisma and Brianna laugh harder.  After a few minutes, however, and a bit of effort, they finally managed to bring themselves under some semblance of control, and Brianna took a deep breath.

“I needed that,” she wheezed.

Charisma snorted, but managed not to start laughing again.  “So did I evidently,” she said as she blew out a breath.  “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine.  You?”

“I’m good.  Sorry about running you over, though.  I didn’t even see you....”

Brianna narrowed her eyes.  “I know you weren’t about to make a short joke.”

“I can’t,” Charisma deadpanned.  “I’m pretty sure you didn’t see me either, and I’m not short,” sticking out her tongue just slightly.  Brianna glared.

“I know where you live and you have to sleep sometime.”

Charisma burst into laughter again, only this time it wasn’t the out-of-control giggles she’d had before.  “You’re priceless, Brianna Brianna.  Don’t you ever go changing on me.”

Brianna tilted her head, the conversation suddenly taking an unexpectedly serious turn.  “You really mean that?”

Charisma sighed roughly.  “I do.”  She hesitated.  “At least I think I do... I mean I’d like to.  But I’d like to know more about you... about who you are and how you got to be the woman you are today.  And I’d like to share the same with you – let you know who I am now and what’s happened in my life to make me the Charisma Tagherty that is standing in front of you.”

“Are you really so different, Charisma?  Are you that different from the woman I knew?”

“I think I am, Brianna.  A lot has happened in the last twenty years... for better and for worse.  And for better or worse, it’s changed me.”

“Maybe in some things, Charisma.  I know I’ve changed... obviously.  Otherwise I wouldn’t be here now doing this job in this place.  But fundamentally I am still the same woman you knew in school just a little less idealistic.  And that’s not necessarily a bad thing – it’s just part of growing up.”

“I suppose,” Charisma agreed thoughtfully.  “I never thought growing up would be what it was.”

“I don’t think any of us did,” Brianna shrugged.  “But it is what it is.  You do what you can with what you’re given and make the best of it.  That’s just life.”

“And if things are taken away instead?”

“You deal with that too.”

“I want to read those letters you wrote,” Charisma announced abruptly.  “I know I probably shouldn’t have a right to them after all this time, but the truth is I would really like to know what they say... especially since they are addressed to me.”

“And if I refuse?” Brianna asked wearily.  Charisma cocked her head thoughtfully.

“I don’t think you will.  You wrote them for a reason, Brianna, and you sent them to Mama for safekeeping.  Some part of you wants me to read them... maybe even needs me to.  I don’t know.  But I do know you wouldn’t have kept them if they weren’t important to you and to me.”

“I’d like to talk first,” Brianna said frankly.  “Privately.  I’ve put myself out there, Charisma.  I’d like to know where we stand before....”

“All right,” Charisma agreed without hesitation.  “Come for dinner....” trailing off when Brianna shook her head.

“No, you come to my place this time.  I’ll cook.”

“Tonight?”

“Six-thirty.”

“I’ll bring the wine?”

“Bring bottled water.  I want to be sober for this.” 

Charisma nodded.  “Okay.  I’ll see you in a little while, Bri.”

Brianna smiled but didn’t answer.  She merely disappeared into her office once more.

************

“So things are going to change between us regardless, aren’t they?” Charisma asked as Brianna ushered her into the small apartment.  Brianna took Charisma’s coat and motioned her to the sofa.

“Yes,” Brianna confirmed.  “It doesn’t mean they’ll be bad changes though.  But we need to be on more even footing than we are right now.  I know you’re probably still processing... still trying to figure out what all of this means to you and for you and about you.  But I’ve been left kind of hanging - blowing in the breeze as it were.  And I know you’ve been busy and I’ve been busy and this really isn’t something we want to discuss over the phone in between meetings and strategy sessions and office work. But....”  Brianna finally looked up and noticed an amused spark in Charisma’s eye and she frowned.  “What?”

“I haven’t seen this side of you in twenty years, Bri.  It’s... refreshing.  It makes me feel young again.”

“Charisma, you are young,” the words muffled as she hung Charisma’s coat in the closet.

“Not THAT young,” she muttered, but she was smiling.  “It’s been a long time since we met in that dorm room and you swept Daddy off his feet.  Truth be told....”  Charisma broke off brusquely.

“Truth be told what, Charisma?” Brianna demanded when the silence continued to be met with a shake of Charisma’s dark head and eyes that studiously avoided hers.  Brianna crossed to the couch and curled her fingers under Charisma’s chin, lifting it and nudging gently until blue eyes rose to meet green.  “Truth be told what, Charisma?” she asked again, her voice soft and filled with understanding.

“Don’t make me,” Charisma whispered.  “Please don’t make me.”

“Charisma, I promised to tell you the truth when you asked the right question.  I think I deserve the same consideration.”  Silence.  “If you can’t be honest with me, can you at least be honest with yourself about this?”

“Please don’t make me.”

Brianna sighed.  Here then was the biggest reason she had left – the reason she’d never shared the truth with Charisma.  As difficult as it was for Charisma to acknowledge the fact the Brianna loved her, she would never be able to accept the truth of the reverse... that she was in love with Brianna and had been forever.

Brianna leaned down and brushed a kiss of benediction over Charisma’s forehead, not surprised to feel the stiffening and slight flinch under her lips.  She felt the tears gather in her eyes, but bit them back knowing Charisma had no right to her pain anymore.  She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.

“It’s all right, Charisma – I won’t make you.  No one will.”

Brianna released her grasp on Charisma’s chin and moved to step away from the couch and towards the kitchen.  At least dinner preparations would give her... would give them both... a chance to compose themselves.  She figured Charisma would try to maintain the status quo they had already established pretending they were still friends.  It would take some effort on her part, but Brianna figured she could manage to pretend friendship for another year and a half or so.  Then it wouldn’t matter.  She would be away from Washington and Charisma and it would be simple enough to disappear from the public eye.  And she felt confident that like before, Charisma would be content in allowing Brianna to walk out of her life because it was easier that way.  All this passed through Brianna’s mind in the mere seconds it took her to drop her hand from Charisma’s face and take her first step away from Charisma.  Then a touch on her hand caused Brianna to freeze.

“Don’t go,” the words a bare whisper.

Brianna kept her eyes on the kitchen.  “I have to, Charisma.  I can’t stay.”

“I can’t lose you, Bri... not again.”

Brianna smiled sadly.  “You can’t lose what you never had, Charisma... what you never wanted to have,” the harsh words tempered only by the pain she felt.  “And we’ll always be friends, right?” seeing Charisma shrug uncertainly and knowing she felt exactly the same at the moment.  “But right now I’m only going to the kitchen.  Dinner, remember?  I need to get it started if we’re going to eat before it gets too late.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Charisma confessed, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Would you like to leave then?”

Charisma shook her head.  “I thought I had this all figured out.  I thought we could be friends again - go back to the way things were before... before you left.  When we were best friends and had the world at our feet and our whole lives in front of us.  It wouldn’t matter that you loved me because friends love each other, right?  Especially best friends.  And we could work around the fact that loving someone and being in love with them are two different things because it would mean we had our friendship back again.  But that’s not going to happen, is it?”

Brianna kept her eyes on the far wall, unwilling to let Charisma see the tears and pain in them.  She shook her head slowly, the slump of her shoulders conveying her sadness and defeat.  “No, Charisma – it isn’t.  I’ve been as honest with you as I know how to be.  But if you can’t be honest with yourself, you’ll never be honest with me.  And without honesty between us, we’ll never really be friends again – not like we were before.  Oh, we’ll be able to keep in touch... exchange gossip and Christmas cards and recipes now and then.  But it will never be like it was.”  Brianna paused and glanced down at the bowed dark head.  “One thing we always had between us was honesty, Charisma, right until the very end.  That lack of honesty is what brought us here.”

“Your lack of honesty,” the words practically spit out in frustration.

“My lack of honesty with you – your lack of honesty with yourself,” was the sharp retort.

“And you think that would have mattered??” Charisma asked with venom, jerking her head up to meet Brianna’s eyes with angry blue ones.  “You think it would have mattered if I had...??” breaking off her words and biting her lip until it bled.

“If you had what, Charisma?”  Silence... again.  “If you had what??

“I can’t,” her voice once again so low that Brianna could barely make out the words.

“Can’t?  Or won’t?”

“Everything changes if I say it.”

“Everything has already changed, Ri... and it will change again.  It’s up to you how it happens.  Time to decide whether you live by your rules or everyone else’s.”


Chapter LXXI

Charisma drew herself up tall though she remained sitting on the couch.  “You haven’t been in this business very long, Brianna, so I don’t expect you to understand.  In your business it’s all about truth – your job is to pursue the truth to the best of your ability and ensure that the truth works for you to put the bad guys away and make the world a safer place to live.  But here we’re all bad guys, and the truth doesn’t matter.  It’s all about perception; even a lie is okay as long as it’s presented in a way that people find acceptable.”

“Image is all that matters.”

“Essentially, yes.”

“And you’d rather live....”

“I accepted that my reality had to conform to society’s standard a long time ago, Brianna.”

Brianna held Charisma’s eyes for a long moment, then blew out a breath while shaking her head in disgust.  “I’m glad I don’t have to live like that then.”  She picked up her cell phone and hit her speed dial, gratified when Jas picked it up on the first ring.

“Yes, Senator?”

“Jas, can you please come pick up Senator Tagherty from my apartment and take her home?”  Brianna felt Charisma’s head snap in her direction, but she refused to acknowledge her.  Instead she kept her attention on her phone conversation.

“Absolutely, Senator.  I can be there in five minutes.”

“Thanks, Jas.  Senator Tagherty will be downstairs waiting.  And she’ll have a good-sized box with her as well – you’ll need to put it in the trunk and help her get it inside when you arrive at her home.”

“Understood, Senator.”

“Thank you, Jas.  I owe you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Senator.”  Brianna thumbed off the phone and crossed over to the closet, removing Charisma’s coat and turning to find Charisma still sitting on the couch unmoving.  She placed Charisma’s coat over the back of the sofa and picked up the analog phone, dialing a single digit.  It was answered immediately.

“Sergeant Orwin?  Could you send someone up to my apartment, please?  Senator Tagherty is leaving and she’s got some stuff to take with her.”

“Yes ma’am, Senator.  Someone will be right there.”

“Thank you, Sergeant.”  When Brianna hung up the phone she turned to find Charisma glaring at her.

“You’re throwing me out??”

“You could look at it that way I suppose.  You stated that you weren’t hungry, and I’m now completely clear on where I stand with you.  As I see it that means our business is finished.  So you’re free to take the letters and be on your way with them.  Because you were right of course - I wrote them to you for a reason, and I sent them to Mama for safekeeping.  Some part of me obviously does want you to read them... otherwise I would have destroyed them myself when Okasa returned them to me.”

A knock on the door halted their conversation, and Brianna walked over to answer it.  “Senator Walker?  It’s Corporal North. Sergeant Orwin sent me – said Senator Tagherty needed help getting some things downstairs.”  Brianna checked the peephole, then waited for the young woman to hold up her ID badge.  Satisfied Brianna nodded and opened the door, then motioned to the box she’d tucked under the table behind the couch.

“Thank you, Corporal,” Brianna offered as the woman hefted the box.

“Of course, Senator.  Anything else?”

“No... that’s it.  Senator Tagherty will be right down.”

“Yes ma’am,” waiting for Brianna to open the door, then leaving without looking back.  Brianna shut the door and turned back to Charisma who was slowly belting her coat.

“So that’s it then?” Charisma asked as she moved to stand beside Brianna at the door.  Brianna forced herself not to stiffen as Charisma approached, but Charisma picked up on Brianna’s trepidation and lingered just out of touching distance.

“That’s it.  They’re yours now, Charisma – you can do what you want with them.  Read them, put them away somewhere safe... hell, make a bonfire out of them for all I care.  It doesn’t matter to me.”

“I... thank you, Brianna.  You do understand there’s nothing personal about this, right?”

Brianna snorted.  “Of course there’s nothing personal.  There never has been,” ignoring Charisma’s sharp inhalation.

“So, I’ll see you at Mama’s for Christmas Eve, right?” trying to get the conversation back to something that they would both be comfortable talking about.  She was glad there was still over a week before the holiday rolled around.  Maybe she and Brianna would be back on a more even keel by then.

“No, Charisma.  You won’t see me at Mama’s for Christmas Eve.  I’ll call and make my regrets.”

Charisma searched the green gaze, but there was nothing to read in Brianna’s eyes.  “If you really feel that way,” she started to say slowly, only to find herself cut off by Brianna’s determined voice.

“I do.  I’ll make sure Mama understands that it is solely my decision.”

“You’re running away again??”

“No.  This time I’m saying goodbye.” Brianna opened the door and Charisma crossed the threshold, feeling a finality about things when Brianna softly shut the door between them.  Charisma drew a deep breath and headed towards the elevator, refusing to look back. 

************

“So that’s it then?  We’re done?” Saphira asked when Indi stopped speaking.  As soon as Charisma had climbed into the limousine, Indi had taken off to let Esmeralda and the rest know what had happened during the confrontation in Brianna’s apartment.  Even without knowing what had caused Indigo to ask, Jas had given her the go-ahead with a nod, agreeing to keep an eye on Charisma until Indi could get back to watch over her until time for Amber’s shift.

Esmeralda motioned her thanks and indicated for Indi to head back before she turned to Saphira.  “Not yet,” smiling sympathetically when Saphira slumped marginally.  “He will decide when it’s over and we’ll be called home then... or at least the rest will.  Ruby will have to make a report and everyone else will corroborate her story by filling in their bits.”

“And what about your part, Es?  You’re still in charge of this....  I’m not sure what to call what this has become.”

“All in a day’s work, Phira,” Esmeralda replied.  “As for my part, He’ll let me know when He’s ready for my report on the mission.”

“That’s messed up.”

“A little maybe but that’s the way things work... or not, in this case.”

“So how long does it take to get the call?”  Esmeralda frowned, not understanding Saphira’s question.  “Once He is satisfied with the results... or once the results are deemed final,” waiting for Esmeralda to nod her comprehension, “how quickly does the call come?”

“It’s almost immediate... at least for the team leader.  The others follow pretty quickly though.”

“So we’re not done yet.”

“Evidently not.  I’d like to be a fly on the wall when Brianna calls Okasa though.  I think Okasa is going to see the District Attorney side of Brianna Walker, and there isn’t gonna be room for a plea bargain.”

“Do you think Charisma will read those letters tonight?”

“No,” said firmly and without hesitation.  “I think she’ll wait, accepting the time as some sort of penance for having them in the first place.  I wouldn’t be surprised if somehow in her rationalization about all this, Charisma sees not reading the letters as a form of punishment for Brianna as well.”

“That’s warped.”

“Yeah, but everything else is at this point, so why not her thinking as well?  Remember what she told Brianna – it’s all about image and perception.  She believes that Brianna needs her to read these letters so if she delays reading them, then she does penance and Brianna is punished.”

“For what?”

“Excuse me?”

“For what?  Why does Brianna need to be punished?”

“I dunno – you asked if I thought Charisma would read the letters immediately.  I was just thinking aloud from there.  Given how things have gone so far....”

“My head hurts now.”

“Honestly so does mine.  But my heart hurts too.  These two seem determined to be miserable apart.  Granted, it’s more Charisma than Brianna at this point.  Denial’s not just a river, ya know. Brianna’s mostly given up, I think.”  Esmeralda shook her head.  “It’s still a lot of speculation on my part of course.  Opal and Indi will be able to give us more facts when they get home.”

“Meantime, let’s go fix a little dinner.  I’m not sure Ruby will eat at the diner like we do.”

Esmeralda nodded.  “And you can tell me how you got the night off while Ruby is working.”

************

“Okasa, this is Brianna.”

Okasa frowned.  There was something in Brianna’s voice... something she hadn’t heard since that day long ago when Brianna had come to say goodbye.  She shivered in reaction, feeling the tendrils of anxiety begin to curl in her belly.  Still she forced a note of cheerfulness into her voice, hoping beyond hope that her premonition about what was coming was completely off base.

“Hello, Little Bri.  How are you this evening?”

“I’ve been better, Okasa,” diligently taking pains not to refer to Okasa more familiarly.  What she was doing was going to break the older woman’s heart and she had no desire to twist the knife any more than was necessary to break the ties that bound them together.

“Is everything all right, Brianna?” her tone of concern genuine and caring.  Brianna swallowed hard and steeled herself for what was coming.

“It will be.  Listen, Okasa,” rushing ahead before she changed her mind, “I wanted to let you know that I won’t be there for Christmas.”

Okasa sucked in a breath.  Despite its awkward moments, Thanksgiving had been such a wonderful holiday for Okasa.  Having the whole family together again after being fractured for so long had soothed her heart.  And she’d thought everyone felt the same.  Obviously she had missed something.  “So we should plan to see you...?”

“You shouldn’t.  Don’t make separate arrangements for me – I won’t be celebrating with your family anymore.”

“Brianna?”

“I’m sorry, Okasa.  I should have stuck to my guns and done this twenty years ago.  Then we wouldn’t be in this mess and this wouldn’t....”  She trailed off without finishing the thought, then took a deep breath and steeled her fortitude once more.  “Anyway just... give the boys a kiss for me and tell them I love them, will you? I’m glad you were all a part of my life - I really do love all of you.”

“Then why are you doing this, Brianna?”

“Because it needs to be done.”

“But....”

“Goodbye, Okasa,” Brianna said, then clicked off the phone and tossed it to the table.  She knew it would ring again in a few minutes, but she didn’t particularly care.  She didn’t have to answer it.  Besides, she had other things to take care of, and the first thing involved going downstairs to talk to Sergeant Orwin.  Then she’d call Indi and go from there.

************

“And you’re sure you want her removed from your list, Senator Walker?”

“I’m sure, Sergeant.  Is it going to be a problem?”

“No ma’am.  A little unusual, but not a problem.  Is Mrs. Tagherty the only visitor you need removed?”

Brianna bit her lip thoughtfully.  “Actually, I need all the Taghertys taken off my list.  It will make things easier.”

Sergeant Orwin cocked his head, wondering what had happened in the hour that Senator Tagherty had been upstairs that Senator Walker was ensuring that Charisma no longer had access to her in her residence.  However it wasn’t his job to be a busybody – it was his job to make the tenants of this building comfortable and secure.  And if Senator Walker wanted their entrance blocked, then he would make sure it happened for her.  He thought it a shame though – Senator Tagherty had always been nice to him, and she seemed to be one of the few friends Senator Walker had here.  Then again it wasn’t his business so he simply nodded his head.

“It’ll be taken care of, Senator.  Is there anything else I can do?”

“Not tonight, Sergeant.  Thank you for your help.”

“I’m glad to do it Senator Walker.  Have a nice night.”

“You too, Sergeant,” Brianna offered as she entered the elevator and headed back to her apartment.  She had a couple more calls to make.

************

When Indi showed up the second time out of the blue, Esmeralda and Saphira just waited for her to explain.  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Esmeralda and Saphira exchanged glances, then Saphira nodded and disappeared.  Indi sighed and dialed Brianna’s number on her cell phone, then put it on speaker so Esmeralda could hear the conversation as well.  It was answered on the first ring.

“Senator Walker?  This is Indi.  I’m sorry I missed your call, but....”

“It’s all right, Indi.  You are supposed to be on holiday.  I just need your help for a few minutes, and then you can go back to whatever it was that I interrupted.”

“What can I do for you, Senator?”

“I’ve decided I’d like to go out of town for the holidays.”  Indi and Esmeralda looked at one another with wide eyes, and Esmeralda gestured towards the phone with her head before the silence drew out too long.

“Yes ma’am,” she replied.  “And you need me to make the arrangements for you?”

“If you could, please.  I’m not sure I remember the last time I did something like that.  I’m not even sure where to start to tell you the truth.”

“It’s all right, Senator.  That’s what I’m here for,” booting up her computer.  “Where would you like to go?”

Brianna snorted, brought up short by Indi’s question.  “You know something?  I’m not really sure.  I’m being spontaneous so I haven’t actually gotten that far in my thinking.”

“Okay – how about I ask you some questions and we’ll figure it out together?”  Brianna agreed, and a few minutes later the arrangements were made.  Brianna thanked Indi for her help and the call ended.  Then Indi sank back into the chair she was sitting in and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Es – I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You did the right thing, Indi.  At least we’ll know where she is.  And Opal and Coral should be able to go back and forth to cover her until she returns.”

“Es, do you think that’s necessary?”

Esmeralda sighed.  “I don’t think we can afford to think otherwise.  We can’t let our guard down now.”

“You think we’re close to the end?”

Esmeralda snorted.  “I’ve thought that several times already and every time I’ve been wrong,” garnering a sympathetic smile from Indi.  “However, I refuse to be lax at this stage.  I won’t fail them as long as I have the opportunity to make a difference for them.”

“This one hit close to home, huh?”

“Yeah – I just wish....”

“Es, you’ve done all you can.”

“I know.  It doesn’t make me wish any less.”  She sighed.  “How was Charisma?”

“Broody.  She kept glaring at that box of letters like it had stolen her favorite dolly and was dismembering it in front of her.”

Esmeralda’s eyebrows shot into her hairline.  “That’s quite a visual.”

“Yeah, well... so was the look on her face.” 

Esmeralda snorted.  “So I take it she hadn’t opened the box yet?”

“She hasn’t actually touched it. Jas brought it in the house for her and put it on the coffee table in her study.  That’s where it was when I left – still unopened.  And Charisma was sitting at her desk just glaring at it.”

“So I was at least partially correct.”

“Es?”

Esmeralda shook her head.  “Later.  C’mon.  Amber and Coral will be leaving in just a few and when Opal and Saphira and Ruby get here we can see where we’re at.”

“We’re behind the eight ball, Es,” Amber offered with a smile as she walked by the living room.  “Just like always.”  Esmeralda just smirked and shook her head, waving goodbye to Amber and Coral before they disappeared from sight.


Chapter LXXII

Charisma had glared at the box for a while longer before she headed up to her bedroom.  She deliberately ignored the photo album that once again rested on her bedside table and went straight into the bathroom to run a hot bath.  When it was full and fragrant she stepped into the water with a sigh, closing her eyes and letting the sounds of Mozart lull her into a place of serenity.

But eventually the water cooled and Charisma bathed quickly and wrapped herself in a bath sheet when her feet were firmly on the mat.  Then she looked up and caught sight of herself in the mirror, and she walked closer to get a better look.

She dropped the towel and eyed herself critically, noting with a bit of pride that she was still in good shape for a middle-aged woman, especially after having given birth.  Not a lot of sagging and still pretty firm where it counted.  Then again, Charisma acknowledged to herself wryly, she’d paid good money to that trainer and spent hours upon hours regaining her figure after Adam had been born.

A chill chased over her skin and she watched the goosebumps rise in its path.  She reached down for the towel, rewrapping herself then leaning forward to look at her face.  There were slight lines around her eyes and mouth that could be attributed to laughter or, in the case of the ones near her lips be considered dimples if one didn’t look too closely.

Her lips were full; her eyes wide; her nose straight.  There were no gray hairs – regular trips to her hairdresser ensured that her highlights remained natural looking and her grays remained hidden.  She tilted her head and stared harder at herself, straining to see whatever it was that had caused Brianna to fall in love with her.  Charisma wondered if after the discussion they’d had if Brianna still saw it, and if she would ever share with Charisma what it was.

Charisma sighed – she’d come up here to get away from Brianna and all thoughts of Brianna, and yet they followed her like a spectre.  The box of letters sat unopened on the coffee table in her study and even from this distance she could hear them mocking her.

She scrubbed her hands over her eyes, hoping to clear her mind.  She grabbed her robe from the back of the door and pushed her arms into it, belting it closed before stepping foot into her bedroom.  Charisma growled when she spotted the album on the nightstand and hastened back out of the bedroom and down the stairs.  She was headed to the bar in her study but abruptly walked into the kitchen instead.  She’d told Brianna the truth... just not the whole truth.  It was all about image and perception but behind that was control.  And Charisma wasn’t going to relinquish her control to anyone – certainly not to alcohol.

She took the milk from the refrigerator and pulled out the smallest saucepan she could find.  Then she warmed some milk and added a taste of vanilla and a hint of sugar.  When it was ready, she took the mug upstairs and settled into bed.

Charisma deliberately reached over the album, sneering at it before grabbing for the latest thriller that she’d purchased on the recent trip she’d made to Mama’s.  She didn’t get to read for pleasure very often so she generally stuck with tried and true.  This book, however – there was something about the cover that caught her eyes, and the description on the back had clinched it.  And for the first time in a very long time, Charisma had been pleasantly surprised by something new.  Now she found her place and relaxed into the pillows as she sipped her milk and immersed herself in the imagination of H.A. Fontana.

It wasn’t until sometime later when her milk was finished and she was snuggled down ready to turn off the light that Charisma realized she hadn’t heard from Okasa.  She knew if Brianna had made good her threat to call Okasa and cancel her holiday plans with the family, Okasa would have called her immediately to do something to rectify the situation.  Charisma idly wondered if perhaps Brianna had reconsidered giving up Christmas with the family; after all, Thanksgiving had been wonderful.  Surely Brianna wasn’t willing to miss personal family time with the boys... and everyone else... because of business.

Satisfied that Brianna had come to her senses and would be at Mama’s when Christmas Eve rolled around, Charisma clicked off the light and slowly slipped into sleep.

************

It was the smell of coffee that brought Charisma out of a dead sleep.  She frowned and blinked her eyes open slowly, trying to remember if she’d set the coffeemaker the night before.  A glance at the clock made her sit up sharply, knowing there was no way in the blue blazes of hell itself that she’d set anything for five o’clock in the morning.  Even when Congress was in session she didn’t get up this early.  She certainly didn’t when they were in recess... especially when Adam wasn’t home.

Charisma got up soundlessly and crept to the closet, opening the safe and pulling out the handgun she kept locked inside.  Though she seriously doubted an assailant would stop to make coffee, the fact remained that someone was in her house who hadn’t been there the night before when she’d gone to bed.  So she eased down the stairs silently, glad for the time she’d spent training on the range and the black belt she could fall back on if necessary.  Charisma took a deep breath and raised the gun.  Then she eased around the kitchen doorframe and nearly dropped the gun on the floor in surprise when she realized who her unexpected visitor was.

“Mama?!  What are you doing sneaking into my house at five o’clock in the morning?”  She latched the safety and put the gun on the counter out of sight before moving closer to Okasa’s side.

Okasa gave Charisma a sardonic look.  “I snuck into your house at midnight because you were already in bed asleep I might add.  I am making coffee at five a.m. because I couldn’t sleep.”

Charisma frowned.  “Is everything okay?”  She held up a hand before Okasa could make a smart retort.  “Obviously everything isn’t okay if you’re here and sneaking into my house at some ungodly hour of the night without calling first.  Is it Adam?” her voice becoming more frantic.  “Mama, what’s wrong??  Where’s my son??”

“It’s not Adam,” Okasa reassured Charisma immediately, smiling as she watched the tension flow out of Charisma’s body  “He’s at home with Paddy and Ame where he’s supposed to be.  But something is definitely wrong.  Has anything happened between you and Brianna recently?”

“How do you mean?” Charisma hedged, moving to the cabinet and reaching for a cup so she could keep her back to Okasa.  Okasa grabbed her by the shoulder and forced Charisma to turn around and face her.

“Don’t play games with me, Charisma Tagherty.  You may be a big shot in Washington, D.C., but you’re still my daughter and I won’t tolerate disrespect from you.”

“Mama, I wouldn’t....”

“You just did.  I’m not stupid.  Please don’t act like I am.  Now,” taking a deep breath and continuing only a little less severely, “what happened between you and Brianna?”

“May I ask why you’re asking first?”

Okasa sighed.  “She called me earlier this evening... or rather last evening.  Told me she couldn’t make it for Christmas, and basically stated that we weren’t going to be a family... her family... anymore.”  Okasa felt more than saw Charisma’s swift intake of breath, but she ignored it and resumed speaking.  “I know things were good at Thanksgiving; I know you two worked some things out.  So what happened?  What made Brianna call and remove herself from our family, Charisma?”

“Why are you asking me?  Why do you assume it’s my fault?”

The look Okasa shot Charisma was telling.  “Now you’re being deliberately stupid, Charisma, and it doesn’t suit you.”

“Excuse me?” the anger making her face flush a deep, dark red.  Okasa held blue eyes without flinching.

“No excuse.  But don’t worry....”  She pointed a finger at Charisma.  “I’m not going to burst that bubble you’re living in just yet.  First I want to know what happened between you and Brianna that got me locked out of the Senate apartment building.”

“Excuse me?” Charisma repeated.  “What?”

Okasa blew out an impatient breath and picked up her mug.  “C’mon... this is going to take a while obviously and I am too tired and too sore to stand around the kitchen at this time of the morning.”  They went into the family room and Charisma realized immediately that Okasa had tried sleeping on the couch.  While comfortable enough for short naps, it wasn’t made for long term sleeping and she turned to her mother in consternation.

“You were trying to sleep down here??  Why didn’t you go upstairs to one of the guest rooms?”

“You came downstairs with a gun this morning when you smelled coffee brewing,” Okasa replied wryly.  “Do you really think I would chance sneaking around up there last night when the only thing that would have been announcing my presence was sound??  I like living, Charisma.  I still have a number of things left to do on my bucket list before I die.  I’d rather not get shot by my daughter because I was creeping around unexpectedly in her home at midnight.”

“Well when you put it that way....” Charisma said drolly.  Okasa gave her a tight smile.  “Mama, why didn’t you just call me?”

“Have a seat,” motioning Charisma to one of the recliners while she reseated herself on the couch.  “I’ll start at the beginning of my part of this saga.  Then maybe you’ll fill in the beginning of yours.”

************

“So by the time I was finished talking to the young man on duty and he roused his sergeant to explain to me what Brianna had done and why he couldn’t countermand her directive and so forth and so on, it was close to midnight.  I did call your cell phone, but when I got no answer I figured you were out at some party or other.  It was only once I got here and saw that the house was dark that I realized you were probably in bed asleep.  So I let myself in.”

“She really had you banned from the building?”

“Not from the building per se – simply from her visitor’s list.  I couldn’t even get the young man to call and find out if there had been a mistake.  When the sergeant came in, he assured me that Brianna had spoken to him personally shortly after you’d left.  And a short time after that she’d left for the remainder of the holiday for parts unknown.”

“I thought she understood,” Charisma muttered.

“Understood what?”

“It doesn’t matter; evidently I was incorrect in my supposition.”

Okasa glared.  “Charisma, what did you and Brianna argue about?”

“We didn’t argue, Mama,” keeping her gaze steady when Okasa snorted her disbelief.  “We didn’t,” Charisma insisted.  “We talked about a number of different things including the nature of the business that is politics in this town, but we didn’t argue.  She gave me the letters you told me about and then I left.”

“And have you read them?  The letters, Charisma – have you read them?”

“Mama, I just brought the box home last night.  I haven’t had time....”

“Have you even opened the box yet, Charisma?”

Charisma huffed.  “No, Mama... I haven’t.  I do have other things in my life that take precedence over some old letters that were written twenty years ago,” her expression defiant.  Okasa glared at Charisma with more than a hint of disgust and aggravation on her countenance and Charisma shrugged her shoulders diffidently.  “What??”

“You’re a coward, Charisma Tagherty, and we raised you better than that.  However,” she went on, ignoring Charisma’s sputtered attempts at outrage, “except as it concerns Brianna’s withdrawal from our family, it’s not really my business, is it?”  Okasa paused.  “That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it? “ A beat.  “Charisma, if the letters weren’t that important to you, why did you push to get them?”

“Who says I did?”

“Charisma, I know what Brianna’s reaction was when she found out you knew about the letters.  I’m the one who had to tell her you knew!”

“That doesn’t mean I demanded she give them to me!”

“She wouldn’t have given them to you if you hadn’t asked her for them.  They were hers to give or not and I know for a fact she had no intention of sharing them with you right now.  She TOLD me so.  But then she’s never really been able to deny you very much, Daughter.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is – they’re just some old letters that are addressed to me.  Wouldn’t you be the least bit curious if it was you, Mama?”

“Yes, probably,” Okasa admitted without hesitation.  “But then I never treated anyone in my life the way you have Brianna.”

“She’s the one who walked away, Mama!”

“And you’re the one who let her go.”  Okasa snorted, her mien tainted with more than a hint of sadness.  “You’d like to think no one can see past the façade you’ve built around yourself. But the truth of the matter is you’re the only one who can’t... or won’t... see past it.”  She sighed soundlessly and rose from the couch.  “Go read your letters, Charisma – or don’t.  It’s up to you.  I’m going to go take a shower and then I’m going home.”

“But....”

“You said you had things to do.  So do I, and believe it or not they don’t involve staying here.  The only reason I came down here in the first place is because Brianna refused to answer the phone after she said goodbye.”

“Wait – she said goodbye to you?”

“Yes.  And this time I think she intends for it to stick.”

“How dare she...!!  After all this family has done for her!!  I’ll....”

“You’ll what, Charisma??” Okasa asked kindly.  “She’s done as much for this family as any other member of it without any real obligation except the one in her heart.  And no expectation of it lasting beyond the moment though I blame her parents for that outlook as much as I blame....”

“As much as you blame me?” Charisma asked bitterly, shocking Okasa with her tone.

“I was going to say as much as I blame anything else in her life, Charisma.  Why would you think I’d blame you for that?”

“You seem to be blaming me for everything else,” her attitude almost petulant.  “Why not this?”  Charisma sighed and closed her eyes, willing herself to find the calm center she’d developed for dealing with crises many years prior.  When she felt it slip into place, she opened her eyes and looked at Okasa.  “I’m sorry, Mama.  That was uncalled for.”

Okasa wanted to cry.  She felt like she’d been making headway even if it had been inch by battering, bloody inch.  And now Charisma’s walls were back in place.  She nodded and turned her back to Charisma so she could start stripping the couch of the bedding she had used. “No harm, no foul, right?”

Charisma chuckled, though it sounded strained and awkward.  “You’ve been hanging around with the boys too much, Mama, if you’re using sports idioms.”

“They’re the ones I see for dinner every week, Charisma.  And there is always sports talk after dinner if not during.”  She finished folding the blanket and placed it on one end of the couch.  “Even the girls get involved in a lot of it.”

“That must make for some interesting meals.”

“It makes for some interesting dialogue at any rate.”  Her smile held a hint of embarrassment.  “I’ve already had to put a couple topics off-limits.  They came perilously close to starting food fights.”

“I’m sorry I missed that,” Charisma offered quietly.

Okasa nodded, offering absolution.  “We understand, Charisma.  We always have.  It’s why we welcomed Brianna into our home and into our family all those years ago.  And why we’ll let her walk away from us now.”

“Mama?”

“You needed us to make her part of the family.  She needs us to let her go.”

“I don’t want to,” Charisma whispered, her distress evident.

Okasa smiled sadly.  “Neither do I... none of us do.  But it’s probably for the best.”  She turned and faced Charisma, then lifted a hand and cupped Charisma’s cheek and tenderly wiped away the tear that spilled from blue eyes.

“How can you say that, Mama?”

“Call it mother’s intuition, Charisma.  Brianna’s lived with this knowledge for a very long time.  Maybe with some space from all of us, she’ll be able to find some peace for herself.”

“So I get a couple weeks to assimilate this whole thought-altering concept that by your own admission she’s had years to deal with and she gets to go off to find peace??  How’s that’s supposed to be fair?!?” Charisma’s outrage was overriding her anguish at the way her life was falling apart around her.  Okasa shook her head and pulled Charisma’s face towards her until she could brush a kiss over her forehead.  Charisma squeezed her eyes shut tighter, recalling Brianna performing the same act of forgiveness the night before.

“Oh, Sweetheart – I never said anything about it being fair.  Life generally isn’t.  Besides, it wasn’t really that thought-altering for you, was it??  The only alteration to your thinking is that now you have confirmation of what you’ve always known in your heart.   It’s just at the forefront of your mind instead of something you can dismiss as your imagination or wishful thinking.”

Charisma’s jaw dropped, but she was unable to formulate a response before Okasa kissed her again, then turned and left the room.  The shower was running in the guest bath before she pulled herself together and started picking up the things in the family room.  By the time Okasa returned, dressed and ready to leave, Charisma had pulled herself together and rejected Okasa’s words as frivolous.

“Are you sure you need to rush off, Mama?  I could take some time....”

“I’m sure.  I know you have things to take care of.  I expect you home in a few days,” waiting for Charisma to nod.  “And you think about what I said,” deflating slightly when she saw Charisma had already dismissed her statements as inconsequential.

“Drive home safely, Mama,” Charisma offered, giving Okasa a hug and walking her to the door.

“Goodbye, Daughter.  See you soon.  I love you.”

“I know, Mama.  I love you too.”  She waited for Okasa to get into her car and roll towards the gate.  Then she shut the door and headed upstairs to get ready for her day, painstakingly avoiding even a glance at the study.  She would deal with that later.

Part 13