Olivia sat back in her chair observing Alex and her male companion as they exited the house and took a place in line behind Trevor.  He spoke to them when he realized who was behind him and Olivia watched Alex introduce Trevor to the man she suspected was the erstwhile fiancé, Robert.  Trevor motioned in her direction and she found herself pinned in place by Alex's piercing blue eyes before she turned back to him with a shake of her blonde head.  They stood talking for a few minutes longer as their food was prepared.  Trevor said something that drew laughter from both his companions and Alex grabbed his arm, shaking him lightly – an action that only drew more laughter from the two men.  Alex shook her head and walked to the bar to collect another beer.  Olivia let her gaze follow without turning her head, appreciating blue jeans in a way she'd never bothered to before.  When she realized what she was doing and where her thoughts were headed, Liv closed her eyes and rubbed them carefully, not wanting to disturb the work Freddie and Mel had done.  While she was still meditating, the scent of grilled hamburger wafted up to her and she opened her eyes to find Trevor smiling back at her.

"You're a lifesaver, Trevor.  God this smells great!"

"Yeah, I have to admit this was a really good idea.  Thanks for inviting me."

"I'm glad you came."  They watched Jo, Blair and Abbie exit the house and Olivia raised a hand to wave them over.  With a word Abbie split from Jo and Blair who continued on to Olivia's and Trevor's table while Abbie headed to the buffet. 

Trevor stood and waited for Olivia to introduce them, then he gestured to the empty chairs.  Blair and Jo exchanged glances then took a seat.  "Are you enjoying yourself, Mr. Langan?"

"Trevor, please... and yes I am.  Olivia has been a lot of fun and I've met some interesting people.  I'm glad I came even though this wasn't originally what I had in mind when I told Olivia that dinner together would be the price of defending her."  Jo arched an eyebrow in Liv's direction and she nodded.  Trevor caught the motion and smiled.  "I know we will never be more than friends, Detective," he assured Jo.  "Olivia was right up front with me about that.  It doesn't stop me from enjoying her company or appreciating my time with her.  Besides, she did me a favor by inviting me tonight.  I made a number of contacts with people I might otherwise have never met.  So thank you for allowing me to join you."

"We're glad you could come," Blair said graciously.  "It's always nice to make new friends and anyone who can make Olivia smile like you have this evening is certainly one of those.  However," she continued as she rose from her seat, "we still need to mix and mingle to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.  Will we see you later?"

"I'd like that," he replied as he stood, shaking hands with them both before seating himself again.  He turned to Olivia.  "I like them.  They seem like good people."

"They are," Liv agreed as she swallowed her last bite.  "I've known them since Jo was a rookie cop.  I was her training officer."  Trevor's eyes widened.

"That was a little while ago."

"It was a lifetime or two ago," Liv agreed.  Trevor tilted his head at the tone in her voice.  He took a swig of his beer and pushed his plate away before leaning back to study her.

"How are you doing, Olivia?  Really... no bullshit."

"Not bad actually.  I'm enjoying the chance to rediscover the parts of myself that aren't immersed in police work.  I don't... I don't miss it like I thought I might.  My job has always been my life and I'm not planning to give it up anytime soon; I'm just not sure it will be as important to me anymore."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," she stated firmly as her eyes roamed over the people casually seated around Blair's backyard.  Her eyes lit on Alex currently sitting alone and studying the beer in her hands.  "I reached a total burnout this time, Trevor.  I could walk away with no regrets.  But I love what I do and being able to make a difference – I'd like to keep doing it for a few more years.  But this time off has shown me that I need more than just the job."

Trevor smiled.  "I'm glad.  Just remember you've got friends who'll be glad to be part of that new non-job time."

Liv chuckled.  "Thanks, Trevor.  I'll try to keep it in mind.  Now c'mon.  I need to find Abbie and get another beer.  And I'm pretty sure you've got a few more people to meet."  Together they rose and headed to the bar before they split up and crossed the yard in search of their perspective goals.  The night was still young.

************

"Hey, Beautiful... why are you sitting here by yourself?" Abbie asked Alex as she dropped her plate on the table and turned a chair around to take a seat.  Alex let her eyes track to Abbie briefly before they returned to the beer bottle she was currently peeling the label from.  She shrugged.

"Robert got a phone call and moved off to take it."

"Does he know...?" motioning towards Olivia.

"That she was the ultimate reason behind our breakup? Yeah – he thinks I have great taste," she added with a smirk, swiping a fry off Abbie's plate and earning a glare from her.  "I think he'd like to meet her."

"Probably – or he wants to see what sort of fireworks the two of you would create together," Abbie said as she waggled her eyebrows in Alex's direction.  Alex just rolled her eyes.  Abbie chuckled and concentrated on her food for a moment before refocusing her attention on Alex.  "So are you going to talk to her at some point or just watch her out of the corner of your eye all night?"

"I'm going to go with option number two for a thousand, Alex."

Abbie blinked until she caught the reference to Jeopardy.  Then she shook her head.  "I can't believe you watch that show."

"I don't... not anymore.  I did while I was in Witness Protection though.  It was a big deal in Wisconsin... at least in my neighborhood."  She stopped when Abbie covered her mouth with two fingers, then licked them... sniggering when Abbie jerked them away with a look of disgust.

"Ew... that was totally unnecessary, Cabot.  You were babbling.  Does she scare you that much?"  Alex didn't speak, but her eyes answered for her.  Abbie pushed her plate away and rose from her chair, wrapping her arms around Alex from behind and holding on for a long moment before brushing a kiss over the top of the blonde head.  "All right, Alex... I won't push.  But you've got to know it's not going to get any better until you talk to her."

"Maybe... but not here.  I wouldn't do that to Blair and Jo; besides, I prefer to be shot down in private."

"I think you're assuming an awful lot, but I understand your desire for privacy.  I'll see if I can do anything in that regard," she said, slipping away from Alex before she was able to turn around and protest.  Immediately Robert took the seat Abbie had been occupying.

"Are you all right, Alex?  You appear to be a little shell-shocked."

"I'm fine, Robert," rubbing her forehead in exasperation.  "You get your phone call taken care of?"

"Yes, but I need to get back to the City.  Would you like a ride back to your place?"

"No... thanks though."

"All right.  I need to go say goodbye to Blair."  He stood up.  "You going to be all right?"  She nodded and he tilted her chin up until their eyes met.  "Maybe you should remember who you really are, Alexandra.  Maybe she's just waiting to see you."

Alex's mouth fell open, but Robert turned and walked away before she could force herself to respond.  Alex watched him go, then stood up.  She'd felt sorry for herself long enough.

************

"Hey, Sexy... you look hot," Abbie said to Olivia, leering at her and waggling her eyebrows.  Olivia leaned against the side of the tree Abbie was currently perched next to.  "What's up?"

"Does something need to be?" Liv asked, keeping her eyes on the yard and its occupants.  She watched Alex rise from the table she'd been sitting at and go into the house, eyes focused on the tight blue jeans she wore.  Then she looked back at Abbie.  Abbie smirked at her, brown eyes twinkling and right brow arched in amused question.

"With you... about this - yeah.  I've seen you watch her, Sweetheart.  You're going to have to talk to her sometime."

"No, I'm not.  I don't need to talk to Alex Cabot, Carmichael.  We have nothing to talk about."

Abbie rolled until she was facing Olivia, right up into her personal space until they were just touching along their lengths.  She reached out and turned Liv to face her.  "You're either lying to me or to yourself, Liv.  Tell me... are you happy living in the land of denial?"

"That's not fair, Abbie.  You don't know...."

"You're right I don't; so why don’t you tell me?  Or better yet... why don’t you tell her?"  Olivia's head dropped but she didn't move away.  Abbie took it as a good sign.  "Liv... what have you got to lose by just listening to her?"  Olivia didn't answer and Abbie sighed.  Then she straightened and took Liv by the hand.  "C'mon, darlin'.  Show me your room.  We can talk there."

"Abbie, why are you doing this?  Why do you care?"

Abbie gave Olivia a genuine smile and tilted her head thoughtfully.  "Because you're my friends... both of you.  And if you can be happy together instead of miserable apart – why shouldn't you try?"

"And if it fails?  Abbie...."  Liv broke off, aware of the people around them.  Abbie recognized the reason for her hesitation and tugged on their linked hands. 

"C'mon, Liv," ushering them towards the house.  Olivia followed her willingly.  At the door Abbie stopped, surprised to see a determined Alex Cabot blocking their path.  She waited, wondering what had happened in the short interim since she had spoken to Alex.  Alex looked like she was going to court to do battle and when their eyes met, Abbie found a resoluteness that hadn't been there in a long, long time.  Alex turned to look at Olivia who met her gaze defiantly, then took a deep breath and spoke quietly but with firmness in her tone.

"Olivia, I need to talk to you, but not here and not now.  Could you give me some time later this week?"  Liv nodded almost without an awareness of doing so and Alex relaxed the rigid tension in her body.  "Thank you, Liv.  I appreciate it.  I'll call you."  Then she slipped out the doorway and into the backyard, resolved to find her hostesses before departing.  Alex had accomplished more than she had planned and needed to return to the silence of the lodge to mull over the events of the evening and decide what she wanted to do next.

Abbie and Olivia watched her disappear into the melee of the backyard before turning to glance at one another.  "What just happened here?" Liv said.

Abbie just shook her head and pulled Liv behind her into the house.  "C'mon, Benson.  I'll explain it to you, then you can talk to me.  We'll figure it out.  And then I'm going to talk to Cabot.”  And with that thought they went into Liv's room and closed the door.

************

Alex was sitting at the dining room table eating ice cream when Abbie strolled in the door a couple hours later.  She was wrapped in a terrycloth robe and smelled of jasmine, indicating her recent departure from an extra-long soak in the bathtub.  Abbie scooped the carton of ice cream away from Alex, taking the spoon from her fingers and digging in with a moan.  Alex just glared at her.  After a moment, Abbie dropped the carton back on the table and pulled out a chair.  She snagged a second spoon and passed it to Alex, pushing the carton until it was evenly between them.  "That was a pretty ballsy move tonight, Cabot.  What changed?"

Alex shrugged.  "I thought about what you said and then Robert said something that really hit home."  Abbie arched a brow in question.  Alex sighed.  "He reminded me it was time to stop pretending – time to be who I really am again.  Told me that might be what she was waiting for, but that I wouldn't know until I tried."  She shrugged again.  "He's right."

"Isn't that what I've been saying?" Abbie asked, slightly aggrieved.

"Yes, Carmichael – it's what you've been saying," Alex replied drolly.  "And you're right.  I think that it just took hearing it from my male ex-fiancé to make it sink in."

Abbie snickered.  "That's twisted, Cabot… you know that?"

"Yeah – that's why you love me," she smirked.  She took another spoonful of ice cream.  "So how did things go with Liv?"  Abbie shook her head, not willing to betray Olivia's confidence.  "I don't want details, Abbie.  I just want to know if she listened to you."

"How do you know I talked to her... about you, I mean?"

Now it was Alex's turn to cock an eyebrow, only hers was one of disbelief.  "Carmichael, how long have we been friends?  How long have you two been friends?"

"All right... dumb question.  Let's just say, it was nice for both of us to see Old Alex finally make a reappearance.  Are you really going to call her?"

"Yes, I am... but not tonight.  Tonight I am going to eat ice cream with my best friend and we're going to talk about what's going on with her.  Tomorrow we'll sit by the pool and soak up the last of the summer rays and catch up on everything we've been missing in one another's lives.  After you leave and Blair and Jo head back to the city, then I'll talk to Olivia."

"You've got it all planned out, hmm?"

"I've had a little while to think about it.  C'mon," standing up and pulling Abbie up with her.  They cleaned off the table and traipsed through the house until they reached the upstairs bedrooms.  Alex shoved Abbie gently in the direction of her room.  "Go get comfortable then come to my room.  We can talk there."

"Bossy bitch," Abbie griped with a smile.

"That's ICE bitch to you, Carmichael.  Now move."  Abbie stuck out her tongue.  "Don't do it unless you plan to use it."  Abbie's brows shot to her forehead.

"Feeling frisky there, Cabot?"

"Feeling like Alex Cabot again for the first time in forever.  Now go get changed.  I want to hear about when you're moving back to Manhattan."

"Cabot...."

"Go, Carmichael.  You can come back and growl at me after you're in your pajamas."

"When did I end up being so pussy-whipped?" Abbie mumbled under her breath as she crossed the hall.  Alex snickered and opened the door to her room, flipping on the light before closing the door behind her.  Then she grabbed her favorite silk shorts and tank top, donning them with a sigh of relief.  She would be comfortable tonight at least.

A knock brought her out of her musing and Alex called out, "C'mon in."

"I hope you remember not to do that when you get back to the City."

Alex rolled her eyes.  "I'd have to buzz you up before I could invite you in, Carmichael.  I think I'd be safe enough.  Besides, if I get my way, you'll be back there soon enough.  You can keep an eye on me if it makes you feel better.  Now c'mon...." pulling down one side of the bed and patting the mattress.  "Sit down and take a load off," walking around to the other side of the bed and sliding in.  "So," she asked, pulling the sheet up over her legs and turning on her side, "when are you coming home?"

Abbie sighed and slid down until she was laying flat, hands clasped across her belly and eyes focused on the ceiling.  "I'm not sure Manhattan is home for me anymore, Alex."  She turned her head to look at Alex directly, to find her intense blue gaze filled with love and concern.  "Don't get me wrong – I love the City and you and Liv.  And I look forward to my visits every month."

"But...?"

"But I do like my job in Washington.  I do good work there, Alex.  And I've certainly met my share of interesting people.  I've got a nice place to live and a few friends...."

"And yet you keep coming home," Alex commented, brushing Abbie's hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

"Turning up like a bad penny, I know," Abbie agreed softly.

"Nah... never a penny... more like a dollar – inflation you know."  She grinned.

Abbie snorted.  "I noticed you left the bad part in."

"You're from Texas, Sweetie... of course I did."

"Brat," Abbie snarled, but her laughter negated the effect.  Alex smiled with relief.

"Does this have anything to do with your earlier phone call from Casey?"

Abbie sighed.  "I don't know what's going on with her."  She blew out a breath.  "Actually, I do – that's part of the problem.  She called to talk to me about her date with Lake and Serena."

Alex's brows went into her hairline.  "Casey went on a date with Lake and Serena?!?"

Abbie slapped Alex on the hip, turning and tucking her arm under her pillow.  "Smartass!  She had the date with the detective last night and a date with Serena tonight.  She's enjoying herself, and that's a good thing – she's still young and beautiful."

"So are you, Abbie."

"Maybe, but Casey and I are in two different places in our lives right now.  And I'm not going to push her to do something that will make her miserable."

"You think you'd make her miserable?"

"I think commitment would.  And God knows SVU will suck the life right out of you if you let it; it's hard to commit to anything else in that job."

"I remember," Alex said softly.  She bit her bottom lip.  "All right... the thing with Casey aside – would you return to Manhattan if there was a good reason to?"

"Such as?"

"District Attorney... or what about the head of the US District Attorney's office here?"

Abbie became thoughtful for a long moment.  "Maybe."

"Well then," Alex cut in before Abbie could say anything else.  "We'll just have to work on that."

"And Casey?"

"We'll have to work on that too."

************

Olivia stood in the living room of the cabin, looking out over the now empty back yard.  The party had wrapped up early and the caterers had been swift in their removal of equipment and supplies.  So now she focused on the solitude she had come to appreciate.

Blair came out of the kitchen and noticed her standing alone and hesitated.  Olivia's pensive expression caused her to cross over to the opposite side of the glass doors.  "Olivia... are you all right?  Is there something I can do to help?"

Liv took a deep breath and turned to Blair with a crooked smile.  "I'm good, thanks – and you've already done so much.  It was nice to meet the neighbors and I loved the spa day."  Her smile grew exponentially.  "I could get used to that actually."  Blair laughed.

"I know... so could I."  She smiled fondly at Olivia's stunned expression.  "It's something Jo and I agreed only to do once in a while since it's my treat when we do."

"You really love her, don't you?  I mean...." holding up her hands before Blair could protest the question.  "I know you love her and that she loves you.  I was there, remember?  What I mean is you love her enough to give up the perks and privileges of being an heiress."  A beat.  "Was it hard?"

Blair's brow furrowed thoughtfully, realizing that Olivia was asking about more than her and Jo.  "No, it wasn't," Blair replied honestly.  "Olivia, if I had to choose between the Warner money and having Jo in my life, I would be a pauper by choice."  Blair looked at Olivia before turning to look out over the moonlit backyard.  "But she never made me choose, Olivia.  We don't use my inheritance often because it makes Jo uncomfortable and I won't ask her to live that way."

"And I wouldn't ask Blair to give it up, Liv," Jo spoke as she emerged from the darkness.  "It's part of who she is.  Besides," she added, walking up behind Blair, wrapping her arms around her belly and leaning her chin on Blair's shoulders.  "I like spa days too." 

Liv chuckled.  "Better than the bike?"

"No," Blair answered briskly.  "We like the bike for different reasons."  Olivia covered her eyes.

"TMI, guys... thanks for the visual there."

Blair blushed a most becoming shade of red and Jo laughed out loud.  "You went there all by yourself, Liv.  We had nothing to do with that.  Or did that have something to do with whatever Alex Cabot said to you earlier?  I saw the two of you talking with Abbie Carmichael and you looked a little shell-shocked.  You all right?"

Blair slipped from Jo's grip and walked over to the wet bar.  Liv turned back to her observation of the backyard and Jo moved to stand next to her until they were shoulder to shoulder.  "I agreed to talk to her... or at least listen to what she has to say."

"Are you sure?"  Jo felt Liv turn to look at her but she kept her gaze on the vista beyond the glass doors.  Olivia didn't speak, just stared until Jo felt compelled to continue.  "C'mon, Liv... you were so angry with her.  Are you sure you're ready to hear what she has to say?"

"I think I need to hear it if only so I can move on."

"Do you really want to... move on, I mean?"  When Olivia gave no answer, Jo continued more softly.  "Are you sure you are ready to really listen to her, Liv?"

"What else am I supposed to do, Jo?  Yes, I'm ready to listen.  I've been angry about this for a long time.  I'm tired of being angry.  Seems like it's all I know anymore and if listening to Alex Cabot will help me get past it, then I'll do it."

"You know we're here if you need us," was all Jo said.

"I know... and I'm grateful."  She smiled.  "One of the best things about my suspension is I've had time to count my blessings and my friends are at the top of my list."

"Suspension has made you a sap, huh?  Oof!  Hey!" Jo grumbled, glaring first at Olivia and then at Blair.  One hand rubbed her belly and the other rubbed her ass.  "Isn't that assault on a police officer?"

"No!" Liv and Blair exclaimed simultaneously as Blair handed them each a bottle of water. 

"I'm being ganged up on!" Jo pouted.

"C'mon, you big baby," Liv said laughingly, pulling Jo towards the couch.  "Now you can give me all the dish on the neighbors.  I have faces to put with names."

"What makes you think we have dirt?"  Olivia cocked an eyebrow at Blair.

"You are a well-placed lawyer and a police detective.  How could you not?"

Jo and Blair exchanged glances.  "She's got a good point," Jo muttered.

"So spill," Olivia directed.  And the three of them curled up to have a gossip fest.

************

A knock on the door brought Olivia out of the brown study she had fallen into.  Jo and Blair had left after a late brunch, citing a need to get back to the City early.  They had offered Abbie a ride back to catch her flight back to Washington and she'd been happy to accept. So Liv had a chance to say goodbye before they'd all left her alone to her solitude once more.

The knock sounded again and Olivia frowned trying to figure out who was stopping by to visit.  Despite the party, she didn't know anyone nearby except Alex well enough for them to simply drop by without a phone call.  And Alex had promised to call first; she wouldn't not call before coming over.

Liv crossed to the door and looked out, her eyebrows going into her hairline before she opened the door.  "Casey?"  Casey smiled but Olivia could see the confusion lurking in the back of her green eyes.  She stepped back and opened the door wider.  "Come in."

"Thanks," Casey said as she crossed the threshold.  She looked around the cabin with undisguised curiosity.  "Wow... great place," she commented, walking over to the glass doors and looking out across the expanse of backyard.  "So quiet... so clean.  A person could get used to this.  You sure you want to come back to the noise, crime and pollution of Manhattan?"

"Some days?"  Olivia paused then plowed forward.  "Some days it would be so easy to stay here for the rest of my life and just let the art dictate the pace."

"And others?"

"I'm an SVU detective, Casey.  My job defines who I am, not just what I do.  Who would look after the victims if we weren't there to do it?  It's not like cops are breaking down the doors of the precinct to work in the Special Victims Unit."  She sighed.  "The time will come... maybe sooner, maybe later... and eventually, someone else will need to do the job."

"But not right now?" Casey asked honestly, remembering the talk she and Olivia had shared before her hearing and punishment.

"I don't think so," Liv said, moving to sit on the couch.  "Not yet anyway.  Of course, that could change tomorrow, but I'm learning not to worry about tomorrow.  I'm trying to focus on today and make every day count.  Tomorrow can worry about itself."

Casey turned and leaned against the glass, idly noting the sketchpad and pencil in Liv's hands without really registering it.  "That’s what I did," she said, biting her lip briefly in thought.  "I figured out my life was being consumed by my job – I don't want to look back in ten years and wonder where the time's gone or why there's no one in my life."

"Like me, you mean?"

"That's not what I said, Olivia."

"No, but it's the truth.  You want something to drink?"

"Sure," Casey said, turning her back to the wide expanse outside the glass doors.  She crossed to the couch and took a seat in one corner, accepting the class from Olivia before she curled up in the other corner.  Casey took a sip from the glass and raised her eyebrows.  "Mimosas?"

"Last bit from brunch," Liv countered with a smile.  "Figured I shouldn't let it go to waste and you looked like you could use it." She took a swallow of her drink and propped her head on her hand against the back of the couch.  "So what's up?"

"Why does something need to be up?  Couldn't I have just come out here to visit?"

Liv tilted her head.  "You could have... if you had come Friday night or yesterday.  Or even last night for the party I know you were invited to."

"Are you angry I didn't come?"

Liv covered Casey's hand.  "Not at all, Case.  You're a big girl and you've got to do what's best for you.  I of all people can't blame you for wanting a life outside of SVU.  And God knows if you don't grab it with both hands now, it might not be there when you decide that it's a good time."

"Personal experience?"

"Something like that," dismissing questions with her tone.  "So talk to me, Casey."

Casey sighed.  "I'm not sure where to start."  She hesitated, and Olivia waited.  "I... tell me about Abbie Carmichael."

Liv's eyes shot into her hairline.  "What would you like to know?"

Casey shrugged.  "Everything.  She... I....  When I was in college, I didn't date much.  I was too concerned with making the grades; it used to make Jessica nuts.  She was my roommate," Casey confided.  "Anyway, once in a while she'd convince me to go out, but I never got into it.  I never found anyone interesting enough to change my focus away from my studies."  Liv nodded but she didn't interrupt.  Casey took a draught of her mimosa and swallowed slowly, enjoying the burn of the alcohol as it went down.  "When I came to the DA's office here, I was intent on making a good impression.  I worked my ass off in white collar hoping to get noticed for an opening in homicide."

"And you got SVU instead."

"Yeah, and you know how I've worked since I came to the one-six because you work the same way."  Olivia nodded again.  "When Jess came to see me, she made me realize I was letting life pass me by, allowing my work to consume me so I started dating.  So far, it's been people I've known for a while; most of them I've worked with at some point or another."

"Okay, and...?  I know Abbie being a woman is not the issue here.  You've been out with several in the last few weeks."

"You're right.  Being bi-sexual has made dating easier... and more interesting," she added with a smile.  "I've decided I like the experiences I find on both sides of the fence."

Olivia smiled.  "Been there... done that.  So what's the problem?  Why the sudden interest in Abbie?"

"I find her... intriguing – what little I know of her.  But I don't know that much and she doesn't seem willing to share a lot with me."  Liv frowned.  She knew for a fact that Abbie Carmichael was more than a little interested in Casey Novak.  So what was up with the complete lack of communication?

"Have you tried talking to her?  Asking her directly?"

"Sort of.  I've tried to get to know her... sharing things with her and trying to get her to share things in return.  But I'm getting mixed signals from her.  I think she's interested and yet...."  Casey shrugged and gulped the last of her drink.  "Maybe I'm just wishfully thinking."

"Would you like her to be interested?  Are you?"

"I am," Casey stated with conviction.  "Even with the distance involved, I'd like to try to get to know her... see if there is anything there – even friendship."

Olivia scrubbed her hands through her hair before leaning forward and clasping her hands between her knees.  "Then maybe you should show her."  She held up a hand when Casey opened her mouth.  "Case, she's not going to take you seriously... not as a possible friend and certainly not as a prospective suitor as long as she doesn't think she has a chance to achieve either of those things.  You're enjoying dating around, right?  Having fun with a lot of new people?"

"Well, sure.  That’s what this is about for me right now... having fun; I’m not looking for commitment.  Hell, I’m not even looking for sex necessarily.  I’m just looking for good companionship.  I've got dates with Trevor Langan and Kathy Stabler's brother next weekend, and Warner's sister and Huang's brother-in-law the weekend after that."

Olivia's eyes widened.  "You must be exhausted.  All this after dates with Lake and Serena this weekend and somebody else the weekend before that and someone else the weekend before that."

"Yeeaaaaah... and?"

"And why would Abbie make an effort?  She's still in Washington, Casey, and you're enjoying being young and free and single.  She'd never begrudge you that.  But it doesn't make it any easier to develop a friendship... much less anything else.  And right now you don't have the time or the inclination to invest in it to make it meaningful."

Casey stood up to pace.  "So you're saying I have to give up dating if I want to be friends with Abbie?"

"No, Case.  I'm saying you need to decide what you want to invest in and how much.  Why would she think you're interested?  You're always busy when she's here."  She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead Liv clamped her lips shut.

Casey pinched her lip pensively.  "What?"  Olivia shook her head.  "Please, Liv... I need to know."

"I understand wanting to grab all you can out of life with both hands.  But I wonder if maybe you're trying too hard... making up for lost time or something."  She shrugged.  "I'm afraid you're going to burn yourself out... maybe miss out on something you really want."

She met Casey's eyes and held them.  "Thank you," Casey said sincerely.  "It means so much to me that you care."

"You know I do, Casey.  You're one of my very best friends.  I want you to be happy."

"You think Abbie might make me happy, Liv?"

"I think you deserve the chance to find out."  She paused.  "Would you like some ice cream?"

"I'd love some ice cream.  And maybe a little dishing."

Olivia grinned rakishly and stood, extending her hand and pulling Casey along with her to the kitchen.  "Maybe," she agreed.

************

“Benson.”

“Geez, Liv... you’re not on duty.  A simple hello....”

“Hey, Elliot,” she cut in, rolling her eyes at his teasing.  “What’s up?”

“Why does anything have to be up?”

“Stabler, how long have we been partners?”  He didn’t answer but she didn’t need him to; she’d made her point.  “So what’s up?”

“Whaddya do to Casey?”

“Um... nothing?  She came out for a visit yesterday.  We talked, ate ice cream, sat in the sun for a little while and then she headed back to the city.  Why?”

“She’s a little unfocused today.”

“And this is my fault how?”

“You were her last date.”

“Does she know that?”

“Know what?”

“That it was a date... because I sure didn’t.”  Olivia sighed.  “El, she’s one of my closest friends; we just talked.  Other than that, I can’t help you.  It’s Casey’s business.”

“All right, Liv... I get it.  We’re just concerned.  By the way, Simon’s been sniffing around... looking to contact you.  We didn’t give him anything.  Figured if you’d wanted him to find you, you’d have told him where you were... or you’d have taken his calls.”

Olivia sighed.  “Did he say what it was about... why he was looking for me?”

“No, and I didn’t ask,” making clear his feeling on the subject.  Olivia rolled her eyes again.  She didn’t expect Elliot to ever come to terms with the fact that she had a half brother.  Though in fairness, there had been days she regretted having found him – hence the reason she hadn’t given Simon a way to reach her here.  She was using this time to decide her future, and his place in her life was part of that decision.  Elliot’s voice in her ear brought her back to the present.  “I don’t think it was an emergency though; he didn’t act like it was urgent.”

“All right.  Thanks El.”

She heard his smile through the phone.  “No problem.  It was time to harass you anyway.  You ready to come back yet or you enjoying your enforced vacation too much?”

“I’m actually... I’m good, El.  I think I needed this.  But how are things at the one-six?  I miss you guys.”

“Same shit, different day,” Elliot commented wryly.  “You know how it goes.”

“Yeah, I do,” Liv agreed.  “How’s Kathy?”

“Counting the days,” he answered with a chuckle.  “But not as fast as I am.”

Liv laughed sympathetically, a bit of wistfulness in her voice.  “Not too much longer there, Dad.  Did you ever find out the sex?”

“Nah, Kathy doesn’t wanna know and I don’t mind waiting.  I’m gonna love this kid no matter what.”

“Your kids are real lucky, El.”

“So am I, Liv.  You know, you could....” hearing the melancholy in her voice, but she cut him off before he could finish.

“No, El... I couldn’t.  Not right now at any rate.  Now,” she continued before he could start the next round of that particular argument, “when are you guys gonna come out here and visit?”

“When are we invited?” he countered.

“How about this weekend?  Come out early Saturday.  It should still be nice enough to use the pool; we can grill out.”

“Sounds good.”  Liv heard Cragen holler for Elliot and she knew what was coming.  “I gotta go, but I’ll call later and we’ll work out the details, all right?”

“Go,” she stated, “and be careful.”

“Aren’t I always?” he asked before hanging up on her snorting response. She looked at the phone and shook her head before hanging it up.  But before she could move away, it rang again and she frowned before she picked it up.

“Benson,” wondering when she’d cut hello out of her phone etiquette. 

There was the soft sound of someone nervously clearing their throat, then Liv heard Alex Cabot’s husky voice speaking to her.  “Hello, Olivia,” setting the tone with her greeting – personable without being presumptive.

“Hi,” Liv replied, unsure how to address the woman who seemed to be her own personal Devil.  It didn’t faze Alex – she was a woman on a mission.

“I was wondering if you might have some time for me this afternoon.”

“Um... sure,” not surprised by the swiftness of Alex’s action once she’d decided on a course of action.  It was one of the things she and Alex had in common.

“Good – would you like to come for lunch?  Gerry’s prepared a beef pot pie.”

Olivia’s stomach growled at the thought.  “Sure... sounds good.  What time?”

“I’ll send Jason over with the car in thirty minutes if that’s agreeable.”

“I’d prefer to drive myself,” Liv stated decisively, not wanting to be stuck when things turned ugly between them.  And she firmly believed that it was only a matter of time; they were too volatile together for it not to.

“All right,” Alex agreed immediately, having expected to make the concession.  “Can you be here in an hour then?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how to get here?”

“I think so, but just in case....”  Alex gave her directions and Olivia realized it wouldn’t be that difficult to get there.  “All right, I’ll see you in an hour.”

“Thank you, Olivia.”

“Bye.”  The dial tone told Liv she could hang up, but she stared at the handset with fascination for another moment before she placed it back in the charger.  Then she went to her room to figure out what to wear, hoping it would help ease the discomfort suddenly present in the pit of her stomach.  It was shaping up to be a long day.

************

“Hello, Ms Benson,” the man greeted as Olivia exited her car and closed the door.  He rose from the flowerbed, removing a glove and extending his hand.  “I’m Jason Bernard, caretaker of the Cabot Lodge.”  Liv took his hand and shook it briefly before he released her grip and turned towards the house.  “C’mon in and let me take you back to the kitchen,” he said, leading the way up the steps and opening the front door for her.  “Gerry and Alexandra are putting the final touches on luncheon.”

She nodded and followed him silently, trying to process his words and look around her at the same time.  The Cabot place was much larger than Blair’s home and she wondered if it was for show or because Alex’s extended family was larger.  Then she was being ushered into the kitchen by Jason and all thoughts of houses and space flew out of her mind.

Alex had her back to the door and was wearing those blue jeans again, although Olivia was starting to suspect that every pair of blue jeans Alex owned was exactly the same.  The denim clung to her ass, showcasing shapely curves, slim legs and a flat belly.  Before she could remove her eyes, Jason cleared his throat and Alex turned around, a welcoming smile on her face.  If she noticed Olivia’s blush, she was kind enough to refrain from drawing attention to it.  Instead she dusted her hands off and extended a hand to Olivia.  Liv took it and they held on for just a moment longer than propriety dictated, then Alex let go and motioned to Jason.  “Welcome, Olivia.  I see you’ve met Jason, and this is his wife, Geraldine.  They live here year round and put up with the rest of us visiting from time to time.”

Liv held out her hand to Gerry.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, the pleasure is all ours, dear.  Alexandra gets here so rarely anymore, and it’s simply wonderful that she’s having friends over this time... makes it easier to cook when there are actually people in the house, you know.  Come in and have a seat,” motioning to the small table that held two place settings.

“Won’t you be joining us?” Liv asked.  “Surely you didn’t go to all this trouble for just Alex and me.”

Alex nodded her head emphatically.  “Thank you, Liv!” not noticing her slip.  “That’s just what I’ve been trying to tell her for the last hour.  There’s plenty here for everyone.”

“And I’ll bet you’ve been sharing your meals with Alex since she arrived, haven’t you?  Please don’t stop on my account.”

Geraldine looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering if they realized they had slipped into what was obviously an old and familiar pattern with them.  She speculated that the opposite side of that liaison must be quite volatile and decided she and Jason would do well to be far away when it started.  Jason just watched the byplay with bemusement.  It was entertaining in a way he hadn’t seen in this house in a very long time... since the days when all the sons came with their wives for holidays.

He joined the two younger women in looking at Geraldine beseechingly and chuckled when she threw up her hands in surrender.  “Fine, fine,” she muttered.  “It’s obvious to me there is a conspiracy going on around here and I’ll have no part of it.”  Olivia’s eyes widened at her choice of words and she looked at Alex with a touch of feigned panic.  But before she could voice it, Geraldine continued speaking... this time to Jason directly.  “And you... stop trying to suck that stomach in.  I have lived with you for too many years, Old Man.  I know better.”

Liv and Alex both snickered, but when their eyes met they stopped and the moment became awkward.  Geraldine rushed in before it went on too long, directing Alex to add two more place settings and seating Olivia.  Jason knew what to do without Gerry’s input, and he carefully brought the casserole to the table.  Geraldine snagged the salad and Alex brought the pitcher of water and soon they were all comfortably seated and digging into the tantalizing food.  Long minutes were spent simply relishing the good food, but after a bit, the quartet slowed down enough to have conversation again.

“This is wonderful,” Liv commented, wiping her mouth.  “I can’t remember the last time I had something homemade.”

“You don’t cook, then?”  Liv shook her head. 

“Not much.  Like you said – it’s hard to cook for one.  And I hate for food to go to waste.”

“Then we expect you to eat hearty at the table then,” Jason cut in before Gerry could continue as he helped himself to another plateful and offered Liv the spoon.  “No excuses,” he said firmly.  Then he looked at Geraldine.  “You outdid yourself this time, Mother.  Best you’ve ever made.”

She blushed and smiled at him.  “You say that every time, you charmer.”

“I didn’t get to be this old by being stupid,” he commented to Liv, knowing Geraldine would hear him.  “So you don’t have someone to cook for... or someone to cook for you?” causing Gerry to cover her eyes and shake her head at his brashness.  Liv noticed Alex continued to eat, but considerably slower as though not to miss any part of the conversation.  She shrugged – not like this part of her life was any big secret... especially not to the woman she was sitting across from at the moment.

“No, and there hasn’t been for quite a while.”

“But you’re a beautiful woman,” he protested, “and by all accounts, a genuine, caring individual.”

“And my line of work makes it almost impossible.  People are either creeped out by what I do, or have a little too much fascination for the sordid details.  Either way, it’s not an ideal situation for finding someone to date... much less have a meaningful relationship.”

People, she said, Alex thought with a smile.  Not men... I may still have a chance.  Then her attention was brought back to the current conversation.  “Probably when you least expect it then,” Jason intoned sagely.  “That’s what happened with me and the missus here.”

Gerry snorted.  “It did not.  You suckered Papa into bringing you home for lunch.”

“One taste of her cooking and I was hooked.  Beef pot pie has been my favorite since that day.”

“Let’s not forget the dozen sugar cookies you scarfed down as well.”

Jason grimaced in memory, then smiled.  “They were good going down, but simply awful coming back up.”  His expression caused everyone at the table to wince in sympathy.  “Still, it got me a date with the cook who just happened to be the prettiest girl in town.”

“That was a lot of years ago, Old Man.”

“Yeah, but they’ve been good years, Mother.”  He turned to Olivia.  “Sometimes, you’ve just got to grab on with both hands and not let go.  There’ll be bad, sure... but the good makes it worth it.”  He rose before Liv could comment.  “Come along, Mother.  Let’s let these two youngsters talk.  We can clean up the kitchen directly.”

Gerry took his hand and let him lead her from the kitchen without protest, leaving Olivia and Alex alone in the silence.  Alex cleared her throat.  “Um... we have dough ready to make warm sugar cookies for dessert if you’d like some.”

Olivia grimaced.  “Not right now, thanks.  I don’t want to be doing a repeat of Jason’s experience.”

Alex nodded solemnly.  “Neither would I, in point of fact.”  She stood and motioned to the French doors.  “Would you like to sit by the pool for a bit?  I promise it will be private.”

“What about...?” gesturing to the table.  Alex shook her head.

“Trust me... Gerry is waiting right outside the door to come back in here and clean up.  She’s pretty particular about her kitchen.”

“I am not!” Geraldine denied vehemently before they heard her clap a hand over her mouth.  They chuckled and headed outside, the tension between them broken for the moment.  Of course, they hadn’t actually talked about anything yet.

“So,” Olivia jumped in once they were seated before the silence became too awkward.  “Whaddya wanna talk about?”  Her tone was casual, almost blithe and would have fooled anyone who had not spent hours and days with this woman for several years.  Alex knew she was out of touch and probably very rusty reading the signs where Olivia Benson was concerned, but some things just didn’t change with time.  The focused stare on the pool, the clenched jaw and the slightly wavering tone were all dead giveaways of the detective’s discomfort level.  And judging by her posture, Olivia would have rather been almost anywhere else than with Alex Cabot despite the good manners she had shown inside only moments earlier.

Alex cleared her throat nervously.  “I um... I thought we should clear the air between us.  There’s....”  But Olivia cut in before Alex could continue.

“There’s nothing between us, Counselor.”  Liv stood up impatiently and stepped away from Alex, only to return with fire sparking out of her brown eyes.  “How dare you....  You made that fact more than abundantly clear when you returned from Witness Protection permanently and made sure we were no longer a part of your life.  You don’t like it now? Not my problem.  I guess it just sucks to be you.”  She moved to go back into the house to leave when Alex grasped her forearm firmly.

“Let go of me, Counselor.”

“Not a chance, Detective.  Not until you hear me out.”

“I’ll charge you with assault on a police officer. You looking to go to jail again?”

“No... I’m looking for a way to talk to you like a rational adult human being.  When did you become so hard and judgmental that you won’t even allow me to have a chance to explain??”

“You’re not a victim, Alex!  And what is there to explain?  You came home and we weren’t good enough for you anymore.  Seems pretty clear cut to me.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you, Olivia?  But I assure you it isn’t nearly that cut and dry.  If it had been that easy, we wouldn’t be here now.”  She paused when Liv looked at her disdainfully and blew out an awkward breath.  “Will you at least hear me out?  Give me a chance to tell you the story from my perspective? I promise if you still want to leave when I’m done, I won’t stop you and I won’t bother you again.”  A beat.  “Liv, we were friends once, and I was a victim for a while.  So were you.  Don’t we deserve that much closure?”

Olivia stood motionless considering Alex’s words.  There was a reason Alex had been such a good advocate for the victims she represented in SVU.  She, like Casey now, had a flair for speech and a knowledge of just what buttons to push and when and how hard to push to achieve the desired result.

“When you’re done, I can walk out that door and I won’t hear from you again?”

“If that is what you want, Olivia,” deliberately bypassing her title so Liv understood this was personal for Alex.  “I’d like you to try and hear me out with an open mind.”

Liv nodded gruffly. “Fine, but when you’re done....”

“You’ll be free to go, Liv.  You have my word.”

Olivia nodded briskly again and resumed her place on the chaise lounge.  Alex remained standing, pacing back and forth in front of the pool as she gathered her thoughts together.  Olivia just watched, reminded of the numerous times she had watched this same woman do the same thing as she prepared for court.  So she settled in to wait.  Despite her gruff attitude, she was more interested in what Alex had to say than she wanted to admit.  Maybe it was time they both had some closure.  Then at least they could move on with their lives.

************

Geraldine watched the tableau taking place outside her kitchen window with bated breath.  Though Alex had not shared much, Gerry knew this discussion with this particular detective was of utmost importance to Alexandra’s well-being.  She wondered if Alex had figured out just exactly why Olivia Benson was so important to her or just that she was.  She shook her head and started wiping down her workspace.

“What are you shaking your head at, Old Woman?” Jason asked as he stepped into the kitchen.

“The folly of youth,” Gerry replied without hesitation.  He peeked over her shoulder and wondered what he had missed as Olivia and Alex were currently seated on chaise lounges facing the pool.  He looked back at his wife who was rubbing a small area of the countertop with fierce concentration.

“Well, they seem to have worked out whatever upset you, Mother.  They’re just sitting there talking now.”  He glanced out the window gain before wrapping his arms around Geraldine’s middle.  “Do you think they know?”

Gerry snorted in a completely unladylike fashion.  “I think they know... and are going to fight it with everything they’ve got.  Kids today don’t realize....” breaking off when she felt Jason chuckling behind her.  She turned to look at him with a glare.  He stopped laughing though he couldn’t wipe the smile from his countenance.

“Mother, I’m thinking those two grown women out there might resent being called kids.”  Gerry snorted again. 

“Then maybe they need to grow up and act like adults.”

“I thought they were,” scratching his head in confusion.  “They’re just sitting there talking,” motioning to the activity taking place just outside the window.  She shook her head.

“Hopefully, it will move beyond that stage soon.  Now I’ve got sugar cookies to bake.  You want some?”

“Have you ever known me to turn them down?  And that doesn’t count,” he added, knowing she was thinking of the time shortly after he’d gotten so sick from his own overindulgence.  “I had to recover from my own youthful folly first.”

“All right... go back to your pottering in the gardens and flower beds.  I’ll call you when they’re ready.”

Jason leaned over and gave Gerry a kiss on the cheek.  “Thanks, Old Woman,” patting her behind.  She swatted at him.

“Get outta here before I forget why I love you,” though the twinkle in her eyes belied the mock-seriousness of her tone.  He waggled his eyebrows.

“I’ll remind you later,” he said with a rakish smile, scooting out the door before she could think to throw a towel in his direction.  She grinned and shook her head at him, then moved to make cookies, standing where she had a good view of the drama - or lack thereof - taking place just beyond her hearing.

************

“Witness Protection changed everything for me.  Suddenly my life wasn’t mine anymore.”  Alex paused, letting her gaze go inward as she remembered a time in her life best left forgotten.  “I had to become someone and something I wasn’t and pretend it was real.”  She sighed.  “Pretending was my best chance for survival - and until a few months ago, it became my way of life.”

“It was easy after a while and soon it was all I knew.  And I made the mistake of keeping up the charade when I came back to New York because I had forgotten how to be Alex Cabot.  I had forgotten who she was.”  She paused.  “When I came home, the first thing I wanted to do was visit the one-six.  I tried actually.”

“What happened?” Liv asked despite herself when the silence dragged on interminably.

“I went - I actually made it in the door, and it was foreign to me... nothing was like I remembered it.  I stood in the doorway and saw detectives I didn’t recognize, and the ones I knew I realized I really didn’t know anymore.  You were there - longer hair and harder eyes.  You were talking to Casey and it was obvious to me from the way you were arguing that she had taken my place.”

“Of course she had, Alex - it’s her job!  She’s supposed to fight with her detectives over evidence and procedure and warrants.”  Liv missed the look of pain that crossed Alex’s face before she glanced at her briefly before looking away again.  “Why didn’t you come in?”

“It wasn’t my place anymore, and Arthur told me it never would be again.  So I figured I needed to make my own place.”

“And that included cutting all of us out of your new life?”

Alex nodded slowly.  “For all the pretending I had done and all I’ve done since I came home, I knew there was no way I could keep all of you in my life and create a new place for myself.  And I had to make a new life.  My old one was gone despite my desire to have it back again.”

“So what happened?” Olivia asked with a hint of resigned exhaustion in her tone.  “Why break the silence?”

Alex stood up to pace again, fingertips at her lips as she considered the best way to explain.  “I couldn’t keep pretending,” she finally replied simply.

“You suddenly couldn’t keep pretending anymore so what does that mean now? What now, Alex?  What exactly do you expect from me?” Liv asked wearily. 

“I’d like for us to be friends again... to see if we can get back to what we once had.”

“I see.  And then?” remembering clearly what they had been moving toward before Velez’s bullets had changed their lives.  Alex shrugged nonchalantly, but she couldn’t hide the hope in her eyes.

“I don’t know.  I’d like to think that would be up to us.”

“I see,” Liv said noncommittally once more before rising to her feet.  “Thank you for lunch, Alex, but I can’t do this again.  It took years for me to put you and what you meant to me behind me.  I’m not gonna open myself up to all that again just to have it come crashing down on me when you decide that’s not what you want either.  You don’t know what it was like finding out second and third hand that you were home again; that you had a male fiancé while you were screwing your male co-worker; that the Devil we knew felt we were less than gum stuck to the bottom of her Jimmy Choo’s.”  Olivia closed her eyes for a moment before focusing her considerable personality on Alex.  “If you’ll excuse me....”

“No.”

“No??  Whaddya mean no?? We had a deal, Alex, and I listened to everything you had to say.  Now it’s time for me to go.”

Alex stepped in front of Olivia but didn’t reach out to stop her.  “Please, Olivia.”

“I’m sorry, Alex...,” stepping around her and not stopping until she reached the door.  “I can’t do this again... I won’t.”  She reached for the door handle but was stopped by Alex’s voice just as her fingers brushed against cold metal.

“Then maybe you should consider why you’re still alone, Liv.  You’re a beautiful woman, and I know there had to have been a number of offers out there over the years.  So why is there no one special in your life?  And don’t blame it on the job; we both know better.”  Alex kept her back to Olivia during her entire speech and she didn’t turn when she heard Liv step up behind her.

“That’s not fair,” she replied, her voice shaking in... something though whether it was anger or fear or something else, Alex wasn’t sure.  It didn’t matter - she’d spoken her piece.

“You’ll find that life generally isn’t.  Have a nice afternoon, Detective.  Gerry will see you out.”  She walked off the patio and towards the stables, not daring to turn around though she felt the weight of Olivia’s stare on her ass.  She’d done what she could.  The ball was in Olivia’s court now.

************

Geraldine had watched the interaction between the two and was ready when Olivia crossed the threshold back into the kitchen.  She offered the detective a brown paper bag before gesturing her towards the front door.  “They’re still a little warm,” she commented as Liv took the bag with a question in her eyes, “but they should be sufficiently cooled by the time you return home.”

“Thank you.”  Gerry opened the front door but halted Olivia’s exit with an outstretched palm.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Detective.  She’s trying to repair the damage that was done both to her and by her.  She’s being hard enough on herself.”

Olivia stepped out of the house before turning to face Geraldine.  “Please don’t take offense, but what is or is not between Alex and me is frankly none of your business.  She should have considered the consequences of her actions before she screwed everything up.”  Liv turned her back and walked down the stairs only to be stopped by Gerry’s words.

“What’s it like to be perfect, Detective?  How is it to live a life with absolutely no regrets?”  Olivia turned and looked back at Geraldine but there was no malice, no accusation in her expression... only open curiosity.  She shook her head and continued to her car, starting it up and leaving without a backwards glance.  Gerry watched until the vehicle was out of sight, then returned to the kitchen.  “That could have gone better,” hoping Jason would be in soon so he would know to keep an eye on Alexandra.

************

Olivia considered driving back to the city, but vetoed that idea before it hardly had a chance to form in her consciousness.  The phone would work just fine for conversation and with Geraldine’s accusations still ringing in her ears, she wasn’t sure she was up to facing anyone just yet.  It figured that the Devil had her very own demons to defend her actions no matter what.

Alex’s words chased round and round in her mind with Geraldine’s and Liv wanted nothing more than to drown them out with a good binge.  Instead she called Abbie and Casey, leaving messages on both voicemails when she couldn’t reach them, then turned her attention to her art.  If nothing else, she could concentrate hard enough to drown out the voices.  Or so she thought... until Alex Cabot became the art.  Of its own volition, Olivia’s hand began drawing images from her mind’s eye.  Things she remembered; memories she treasured that hadn’t seen the light of day since the Devil’s disappearance from her life after the Connor’s trial.  When she realized what she was doing, it made her angry, but before she could act on impulse, the phone rang.

“Benson,” she bit off.

“Um... is now a bad time, Olivia?  I just got your message, but I can call back.”

“Casey?  No, now’s fine.  Sorry... just a little out of it when the phone rang.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Mostly... just a rough morning.  Hey,” before Casey could ask, “how are you?  Elliot accused me of making you lose your focus.”

Casey snorted.  “Not just you.  I am having killer cramps today and these hose are killing me and to top it off, I was in court all day with Petrovsky and Langan.  Insult and injury if you asked me.”  She paused.  “I have been thinking about what you said though.”

“And...?”

“I’m still thinking.  I’d like to get to know Abbie better... see what’s really there, but I’m not sure I’m ready to settle down yet.  Hell, Olivia... I just started playing the field, and I’m enjoying it.  It’s nice to have a life outside of this office.”

“Why do you think we never dated?” Liv blurted out, then cringed as the words echoed in her ears.  She hadn’t meant to sound accusatory, but she was curious what Casey thought.  Casey chuckled.

“Because playing second fiddle professionally was hard enough.  I wasn’t about to accept that position in my personal life,” Casey replied with a hint of laughter in her voice.

“What??  Casey, you’re not second fiddle.  You’re a damned fine ADA and SVU is lucky you came to us.”

“Maybe, but you certainly didn’t feel that way when I was first assigned there.  All you could see was that I wasn’t Alex Cabot.  And that’s the same reason we never dated.”  She hesitated and then plowed on without making Liv ask the question.  “Alex Cabot was all you could see.”

Olivia frowned.  “No she wasn’t.  I’ve dated some since she left.”

“After the Connor’s trial, not before.  And we both know how those <ahem> dates have gone.  Has anyone made it past a first date with you?  Besides, we became real friends and that’s very precious to me.  I never wanted to jeopardize that for a romance that would never have lasted.”

“Why do you think that?  Some of the greatest romances – ones that have lasted forever - are those where the people involved were friends first.”

“Yes, but there wasn’t someone else in that place in their hearts either.  Liv, I love you – you’re one of my very best friends.  But you know and I know that’s all we’ll ever be.  I’m not in love with you and you’re not in love with me.  You just have to be honest with yourself... and her.”

“And if I don’t want that?”

“Then you’ll be alone for the rest of your life – or you’ll settle for second best to keep from being alone.  Is that what you want?”  Silence was the only answer Casey got and she sighed.  “Look, I’m going to go home and get out of these clothes before they cut off the flow of blood to my brain.  If you still want to talk, you know where to find me.”

“You suck, you know that?”

“I know, but you’ll thank me for it one day.”

Liv snorted.  She probably would, but she damn sure wasn’t going to admit it now.  “Hot tea and a heating pad will help with those cramps, especially if you soak in a hot tub first.  Try to relax and get some rest.”

“Will do, Dr. Olivia.  Talk to you later?”

“Absolutely.  Night, Case.”

“Night, Liv.”  Olivia set the phone down and went and poured herself a drink.  Casey had given her even more to think about, dammit.  Like she needed even more words rolling around in her mind.  She sucked down the alcohol, hoping the burn would make her forget... just for a little while, and understanding with sudden clarity why her mother had fallen victim to this sort of relief.

Olivia poured a second drink and walked away from the bar, sipping this one and turning her attention back to her art.  She set the tumbler on the table beside her and picked up the pencil, letting her mind free to wander and her hand to draw.  Maybe that was the best way to exorcise the demons the Devil named Alex Cabot caused in her.

************

“Cabot, it’s Carmichael... pick up.” Silence. “All right, give me a call, will ya?  I know you talked to Liv today and I’m concerned.”  Abbie sighed.  “Call me, please?”

“Alex, it’s Abbie.  C’mon, Honey... I need to hear from you.”

“Alexandra Cabot, if you don’t pick up, the next call I make will be to Geraldine.  Pick up the damn phone!!”

“Geez, Abbie... did you have to sic Gerry on me?  I was out riding and I didn’t have the phone with me.”

“I was concerned, Cabot - sue me!”

Alex chuckled.  “Nah... I appreciate the concern, Abbie - more than you know.  It was just a little disconcerting to have Gerry come track me down.  Actually she and Jason came out together; it was kinda sweet,” her tone a little wistful.

“You all right, Alex?”

“I take it you’ve spoken to Olivia?”

“Not directly... not yet.  She called and told me you’d talked; that’s all she said, but I could tell she was upset.”

“She was furious,” Alex replied matter-of-factly, though Abbie could hear the defeat in Alex’s voice.  “In fact she probably wants to vent.  Maybe you should....”

“Her venting will wait for a few more minutes, Alex.  How are you?” her voice serious and caring.

Alex took a deep breath.  “I’ll be all right, Abbie.  It’s no more than I expected.  There’s a lot of history between us that we’ll probably never be able to get around.  But at least now I can say I tried - too little, too late, I’m sure but....”

“You don’t think she’ll come around?”

“No, Abbie... I really don’t.  You didn’t see her expression of disgust; hear the disdain in her voice.  However,” Alex said, clearing the tears from her voice as she wiped them from her face, “it’s not up to me now.  Whatever happens now is Olivia’s choice. I’ve done my best.”

“Oh the hell you have,” Abbie snorted.  “Where’s the fire and the fight and the possessiveness??  Where’s the Alex Cabot who knew what she wanted and took it?  Since when do you let someone else determine your actions??”

“Since it’s Olivia, Abbie!!  Given our history, don’t you think she deserves to have a say in her future??”

“Don’t you think you do?”  Alex heard the slap and wondered what had borne the brunt of Abbie’s frustration.  Then Abbie sighed.  “Alex, don’t give up, all right?  Give her some time and space to consider your words.  Just promise me that you won’t give up on her.”

“You know something?” Alex asked hopefully.

“I suspect something,” Abbie corrected gently.  “But remember that there hasn’t been anyone special in her life in a long, long time - not since you left.  Don’t let her shut you out.”

“You want me to stalk one of New York’s finest?”

“Not... stalk,” Abbie replied hesitantly.  “Just don’t let her forget you’re out there waiting for her.”

“Great, Abbie - now I’ve become a bad eighties music video,” Alex protested wryly.  Abbie snorted in laughter.

“Sorry.”

“That’s all right,” Alex said, chuckling.  “I needed that.  Hey, are you coming up this weekend?”

“No, I’ve got some catching up to do after the last couple weeks.  You could come see me, though.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, Cabot... open invitation.”

Alex smiled.  “I may take you up on that.”

“Do that.  I’ll even put clean sheets on the bed for you.”

“Oooh... I’m feeling the love there, Carmichael.”

“Only the best for you, Cabot.  Let me know.”

“I will, Abbie... thanks.  And thanks for caring enough to call.  It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.”

“Only the best for my best girl.  Stay in touch.”

“You too.”  Alex hung up the phone in better spirits, thinking ahead to a trip to Washington.

************

“Liv?  It’s Abbie - pick up.”

“Hey, Abbie.  What’s up?”

“You tell me - you called me first.”

Olivia sighed.  She regretted her impulse to call anyone after her discussion with Alex.  Casey’s words were already going round with Alex’s and Geraldine’s until Liv could hardly focus.  She wasn’t sure she wanted to add Abbie’s Texas forthrightness to the whirligig currently in residence in her mind.  However, she had called so....  “Yeah - about that... how about we just forget it?  It really wasn’t that important.”  Olivia heard Abbie’s eyebrow arch and covered the smirk she felt form.

“I don’t think so, Benson.  Talk to me.”

“I don’t wanna, Abbie,” Liv whined.  “You’re gonna take her side.”

“Her... Alex?  No, Liv.  I’m not on anyone’s side here.  I want you both to be happy, all right?  Now spill.”  She waited but was met with silence.  “Liv, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“Abbie, I don’t think you can help me with this anyway,” Olivia sighed.

“Then why’d you call me?” Abbie asked quietly.  “C’mon, Olivia... we’ve been friends for years.  Who else are you going to talk to about this?  And you obviously need to talk or you wouldn’t have called me to start with.”

“I hate you,” Liv retorted with a strangled sob.

“I know, but that’s okay, because I hate you too so it’s all good.”  Liv laughed and Abbie smiled in response.  Then she waited.

“She makes me so angry, Abbie!  She acts like... I dunno... like the past can just be erased and we can pick up where we were five years ago!  What the hell is wrong with her?  How could she...?”  Olivia broke off in frustration, running a hand through her hair.

“What exactly did she say to you, Liv?”

“Huh?  I dunno - something about pretending to be someone else for years and not being able to keep pretending anymore.  What difference does it make, Abbie?”

“Seems like it would make a lot of difference, Liv.  Did she actually ask you to forget everything and just move on from where you were five years ago?  Or did she try to explain what life had been like and ask if you could start over - be friends again?”  Silence was its own answer and Abbie sighed, making a mental note to get an appointment with her hairdresser.  She was going to need it to cover all the gray these two were inflicting on her.  “Olivia... what are you afraid of?”

“Nothing!  Everything... I don’t know. I can’t open myself up like that again, Abbie.  I won’t live through that kind of pain again.  It’s not worth it.”

“Liv, from what you just said, she’s not asking for the two of you to move in together and start a family.  It sounds like all she’s asking for at the moment is your friendship.  Are you telling me you have so many friends that you can afford not to have another?  Olivia, who is it you don’t trust here - her or you and your reactions to her?”

“I need to go.”

“Think about it, Liv - who are you really afraid of here?”

“Goodbye, Abbie,” slamming the phone down before she could throw it across the room.

“Well,” Abbie said, looking at her receiver before replacing it in the cradle.  “That went well.”  Then she moved off to prepare her guest room for company.  She had a feeling Alex might show up sooner rather than later and she wanted to be prepared.  It would be nice have someone visit her for a change.

************

“Are you sure about this, Alexandra?  Are you sure you’re not just running away again?”

Alex sighed and turned away from her suitcase.”  “Yes, Gerry... I’m sure. I am going to visit Abbie at her invitation.  My going or staying will make no difference to what happens between me and Olivia.  And on the off chance she actually deigns to speak to me, you can tell her where to find me.  But don’t hold your breath on that, all right?” Alex requested, flinging an arm around Geraldine’s shoulders.  “I like having you around and I’m pretty sure Jason couldn’t manage without you.”

Gerry swatted Alex on the ass and turned to help her pack.  “Get along with you then and go have some fun.  Send me a postcard.  Have you called for the car or would you like me to have Jason drive you to the airstrip?”

“I am gonna drive her, Mother,” Jason said, peeking into Alex’s room.  “The car is out front whenever you’re ready to go, Alexandra.  Just let me know and I’ll take your luggage down.”  He disappeared before either woman could speak and they exchanged glances.

“That was interesting,” Gerry muttered.  “I don’t remember the last time he came up here.”

“Probably because I asked him to let me know when he was ready,” Alex said, hefting her suitcase and purse.  Geraldine looked at her questioningly.

“Is that all you’re taking with you?”

Alex laughed.  “I’m only going to be there for a long weekend, Gerry - I’m not moving.”  She linked their arms together.  “C’mon... you can walk me to the door and kiss your husband goodbye before he takes me to the airstrip.  Then the two of you can have a nice, quiet weekend without having to worry about me.”

Gerry chuckled as she led them out of Alex’s room.  “Oh, Sweetheart - we do that anyway.  It’s just our nature.”

Alex smiled and nodded in acknowledgement of that particular truth.  “All right... well, at least go see a movie on me, please?  It would make me feel better.”

Gerry sighed.  “All right... as long as you promise to have some fun too.  You’ve gotten much too sober lately - even for you.”

“Deal,” Alex agreed as they reached the foyer.  “Now let me go so I can get my fun started.  I should be back sometime Monday unless something comes up.  Don’t wait up though - just in case I’m late.”  She climbed into the car, and with a wave they were off.

The flight was short and uneventful and Alex blessed the fact that she had the connections she needed to get to Abbie’s in relative comfort and ease.  It was still early when she arrived, but she found the key right where Abbie had told her it would be.  The apartment was nice; spacious without seeming cavernous and elegant without being ostentatious.  There were hints of Abbie’s Texas roots as well as bits from her New York life.  Alex smiled - not that Abbie would ever confess to having any sort of New York influence in her life.  Texans were funny that way.

There was a note addressed to her propped up on the small dining room table and Alex set her bag down and tore it open.

     Alex, (it read)

     Come on in and take your shoes off and make yourself at home.  The guest room is all ready for you - clean sheets and everything.  There is beer and chicken salad in the fridge so help yourself.  I should be home around six-thirty and we can figure out what to do about supper then.
      I’m glad you came down, Alex.  It’s good to have you here.  If you need me, just call.  The phone is never far from my ear in this town.

       Abbie

Alex smiled and stowed her stuff in the guest room.  Then she headed for the Mall.  It had been a long time since her last visit to Washington, D.C., and she was anxious to visit the museums.  When Abbie returned home several hours later, Alex was stretched out on her couch sound asleep.  A light touch on her shoulder brought her sitting straight up with a confused look on her face, causing Abbie’s brow to scrunch in concern.   “Hey... you all right?  I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Alex blinked and shook her head, running her hands through blonde locks to give it some kind of order and only succeeding in making it stand up more.  “I’m all right, Abbie, thanks.  Just a weird dream or something.  Give me a minute to kick start my brain.  I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”  She scrubbed her hand over her face.  “What time is it anyway?”

“Quarter of seven.  You okay to go out tonight or do you want to stay in?”

“I actually prepared lasagna earlier,” Alex commented, smiling when Abbie’s head popped up and she visibly sniffed the air.  “I figured it was only fair; I’m not the one that has to get up and go to work in the morning.”

“I had the stuff for lasagna in my kitchen?”

“Not all of it, no, but it was no problem to stop at the store on my way back from the art gallery.”

Abbie smirked.  “I should have known you’d go there first considering how often you went to the Met.  Do you still go?”

“As often as I can manage.  I find it restful.”

“I always did too,” Abbie confessed.  “Do I have time to change?”  Alex glanced at the clock.

“Just about.  It needs to come out of the oven and rest for a few minutes before service and I should probably do something with my hair.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything....” Abbie said with a laugh.  Alex snarled at her.

“Be nice to me, or no dessert for you.”  Abbie’s ears pricked up. 

“Dessert??”  She stuck her lip out in a pout.  “What kind of dessert?  Not Death by Chocolate cake?” seeing Alex’s evil grin.  “But I love Death by Chocolate cake,” she whined.

“I know.  Help me up,” Alex commanded, extending a hand that Abbie immediately took.  “Go get comfortable while I pull the lasagna out of the oven.  Once I brush my hair, we can worry about the rest of dinner and you can tell me about your day.”

“How domestic sounding,” Abbie said with a smile.  Alex snorted.

“No one would believe it out of either one of us.”

“You mean you’re not really Betty Crocker in disguise??  I’m crushed,” Abbie complained, clutching her chest dramatically as Alex removed the lasagna from the oven.

“Smartass!” Alex smirked, setting the pan down gently and shooing Abbie out of the kitchen in front of her.

“Better than a dumb ass, I always say.”

“You must say it a lot then,” Alex sniped with a grin, running to her room with a squeal before Abbie could think to catch her.

“Sonofa....  I know where you live, Cabot, and when you least expect it....”

“Promise, promises,” Alex mocked.  “Now go get changed.  Death by Chocolate cake won’t wait forever you know.”

Abbie glowered at the closed door and muttered under her breath before heading down the hall to her own room.  But she couldn’t stop the grin that crossed her face as she shut the door behind her.  She hadn’t had this much fun in what seemed like a long time.  Suddenly the weekend had possibilities.

************

“Oh my God,” Abbie groaned some time later as she put down her fork.  “If I eat another bite, I’m going to explode.”

“Please don’t,” Alex asked plaintively.  “I don’t think I could move enough to clean up the mess you’d make.”

Abbie chuckled.  “At least you don’t expect me to do it.”

“It would be interesting to see you try, but I think that would only make more work for me in the end.  So no, skip the exploding option and go straight to the stretching out on the couch option.  I promise I didn’t leave cooties.”

“Can girls leave cooties?  I thought only boys had them.”

“I guess that depends on what side of the coin you fall on.  All the boys I knew thought girls had cooties too.”

“Shows you what boys know,” Abbie snarked, groaning as she rose from her seat and shuffled gingerly to the couch.  She eased down with a sigh and tilted her head back at Alex as she came into the room a few minutes later.  “What took you so long?”

“I had to put things away.”  Alex propped her feet on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. “I tried twitching my nose, but it just doesn’t work for me like it did for Elizabeth Montgomery.”

“Now who’s being the smartass?”  Alex giggled and Abbie smiled.  “So what are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.  I haven’t been here in so long - maybe the natural history or the American cultural museums?”

Abbie nodded.  “Just make it early.  We have a date at the Australian Embassy tomorrow night.”

“We do?” blonde brows hiking into Alex’s hairline.

“Um hmm... I just found out about it this afternoon.  Apparently there is some shindig there that requires the boss’s presence.  He volunteered me so I naturally volunteered you.”

“Naturally,” Alex agreed drolly.  “I guess I’ll be going shopping first.”

“Sorry, Hon.  If I’d known he was going to spring this on me, I would have warned you.”

“And he doesn’t have a problem with you bringing another woman as a date?”

“I told him you were visiting and if you couldn’t come, neither could I.  I expected him to let me out of this, but he wants to meet you.  He’s heard a lot about Alex Cabot.”

Blue eyes widened perceptibly.  “Is that a good thing?”

Abbie shrugged.  “He finds your story intriguing.  Not many come home from Witness Protection.  And his wife thinks it’s romantic.”  Alex’s look was clearly one of disbelief.  “I know, Hon... but she doesn’t know the truth of what life has been like for you.  I imagine we’ll turn a lot of heads for sure, showing up together.”

“Want to make bets on how long it takes for us to get propositioned as a couple?”

“Hell, no.  I figure if we make it passed the first ten minutes without an offer we’ll be doing good.”

“Or bad, depending on your point of view,” Alex teased.  “But I will be happy with either description if it keeps the sleazes away from us.”  The phone rang, interrupting their conversation.  Abbie groaned and rolled from the couch to answer it.

“Hello? ....  Casey?”  Alex stood and motioned to Abbie, who nodded her head in understanding - only to reach out and clutch Alex’s arm before she could get out of the room.  “Hold on, Casey.  I’m going to put you on speakerphone so Alex can hear too.”

“Alex is there with you?”  She swallowed the irrational jealousy she felt.  “Well, that will make it easier for me.  I won’t have to hunt for her.”

“Why would you need to, Casey?  What’s wrong?”

Casey sighed.  “Have either of you talked to Olivia since Monday?  I’ve tried calling both the house and her cell and she’s not answering either.  I’m getting a little concerned.  She wasn’t really happy with me when we got off the phone Monday night.”

“I think it’d be safe to say she wasn’t happy with any of us,” Abbie commented with a look at Alex who just shook her head.  “Casey, have you talked to Elliot or to Jo and Blair?  She might have contacted them since she’s upset with all of us.”

“I talked to Elliot today.  He asked me if I’d heard from her recently.  Apparently they’re supposed to get together Saturday, but she hasn’t called him to finalize the details.”

“Let me call Blair, Casey,” Alex said softly.  “And if she hasn’t heard from Liv I’ll call and send Gerry over to check on her personally.  Either way, we’ll call you back and let you know what’s going on.”

“Thanks, guys... I appreciate it.  I know it’s probably nothing, but I’m just worried, you know?  She’s my friend.”

“We know, Casey - ours too.  Thanks for being concerned enough to call.  Let us get back to you in a few.”  Abbie clicked off the speakerphone and looked at Alex.

“You all right?”

“Yeah.  If she’s done something stupid, I’m going to kick her ass.”

Abbie laughed.  “I’d pay good money to see that.  Now make your calls.  I want to know what the hell Benson was thinking going AWOL on us.”

************

“Detective Benson??”  Gerry had knocked on the door and rung the bell several times to no avail.  She recovered the key from its hiding place as Blair had instructed Alex and unlocked the door, poking her head in cautiously.  “Detective?”

Gerry crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her silently.  She placed the key on the table and moved into the living room... only to be stopped by the sight that greeted her.

Olivia stood in front of an easel, her face a study in intense concentration.  Geraldine couldn’t see what was on the canvas as it faced the glass doors that in the daytime flooded the room with natural light.  She stepped further into the room, clearing her throat before she spoke again.  “Detective Benson?”

Her reaction was slow, as though she was having to bring her mind back for a very long distance.  When her brown eyes met Gerry’s, the older woman bit her lip to keep from gasping at the intensity of the stare that burned through her when Olivia met her gaze.  It took several long moments before Liv’s expression cleared and then her face creased into a frown as she realized she was no longer alone and exactly who was standing in the middle of her darkened living room.  “Gerry?” her tone laced with a hint of accusation.

“Don’t take that tone with me, Detective.  If you would answer the phone when it rings, I wouldn’t be here disturbing you now.”

“Excuse me?”  Olivia’s eyebrow arched in question.  “What do my phone skills have to do with you barging in here uninvited in the middle of the night?”

Geraldine crossed her arms over her chest.  “Just to clarify things for you, Detective Benson, it’s not the middle of the night.  It is eight o’clock in the evening and I am here at the behest of several of your concerned friends.  A number of different people have tried to reach you since we saw you at luncheon on Monday.  When no one could get in touch with you, your friend Casey called Abbie Carmichael looking for Alexandra to ask her to come check on you.”

“So why are you here instead?” Liv asked peevishly.  Alex Cabot had been haunting her every thought, and to find that despite everything she’d said she didn’t care enough to come check on her personally....

“Because it was quicker for me to come down the road than it was for Alexandra to return from Washington.”

“Oh.”  A single word, but so telling in its inflection.  Gerry almost smiled.

“Yes... oh.  Despite everything, her first concern was getting someone here to make sure you were all right.  Now... are you all right, Detective?  Can I call and reassure Alexandra that she doesn’t need to rush home?”

Liv nodded her head.  “I’m sorry you had to come all the way over here to check on me; I’m fine.”

“Very well, Detective.  Turn your phone on; or at least let those who care about you know you’re going to be unavailable before you disappear again.”  She turned towards the foyer, then looked back at Olivia who had yet to move from behind her easel.  “Oh... Alexandra asked me to remind you to call Elliot.”

Liv’s eyes widened perceptibly.  “Shit,” she muttered, causing Gerry to smile just the tiniest bit.  “I forgot.”

“I know; that’s why she asked me to remind you.  Have a good evening, Detective.”  Gerry was out the door before Olivia could give it a second thought.  She glanced down at the painting that had taken over her every waking thought, then scooted around it to jog to the front door.  Gerry was just getting into her vehicle; when Olivia opened the front door, she hesitated.  “Detective?”

“Thank you for coming to check on me, Gerry.  I know you did it for Alex, but I appreciate it anyway.”

“You’re welcome, Detective Benson.”

“Olivia.”

“Olivia,” Gerry conceded.  “Now go make your phone calls before you forget.  I’ll call Alexandra and let her know you’re all right.  Despite what has - or hasn’t - happened between you, she deserves to know.”  Olivia nodded but otherwise didn’t respond.  Gerry climbed into her car and drove away without another word.  Liv went back inside to call Elliot.

************

“Thanks Gerry.  I appreciate it.  See you on Monday.”  Alex hung up the phone and looked at Abbie.  “She was painting.”

“Excuse me?”

Alex nodded.  “You heard me.  She was painting.  Apparently she wanted peace to paint in so she turned off all the phones.”

“What the hell was she painting??  The Mona Lisa??”

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugged.  “Gerry didn’t say.”  Then she frowned.  “She didn’t actually say much; just that she had spoken to Olivia and that she was painting.  Oh... and that she had passed along the message for her to call Elliot.”

“Good - can you call Casey and let her know?”

“You sure you don’t want....”

“No.”  Alex waited but Abbie didn’t say another word.

“All right.  Let me go make the call.  There’s no reason for Casey to worry any longer than necessary.”  Abbie nodded and went into the kitchen.  Alex picked up the phone and found Casey’s number, then hit speed dial and waited for Casey to pick up.

“Abbie?”

“No, Casey - it’s Alex.”  Alex heard the disappointed sigh and her smile was melancholy.  She knew exactly how Casey felt.  “Sorry... I just wanted to let you know that Gerry found Olivia and she’s all right.  Apparently she got caught up painting and just blocked out everything else.”

“Thanks, Alex.  I appreciate it.  I’m glad she’s all right.  I guess she’s still mad at me, though.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s me she’s mad at.”

Casey chuckled.  “Well, you may be the root of her anger, but I can safely say that she wasn’t real happy with my take on things either.”

Alex snorted.  “Abbie said the same thing,” thinking about their talk over dinner.  “I’m sorry the two of you ended up in the middle of this... disaster.”

“I’m not,” Casey replied immediately.  “Oh, I mean... I wish it wasn’t a disaster.  I’d like to see a fairy tale ending for you guys.  But I’m glad we could be there when you needed us.”

“We should do lunch sometime,” Alex blurted.  “I mean... when I get back to Manhattan, you and I should go to lunch.  Do a little bonding.”

“Alex, don’t take this the wrong way, but why?  And why now?”

“I’m sorry... nevermind.  Forget I said anything.  Look....”

“Alex, I’d love to.  I just want to know why and why now.  We’ve worked in the same office for almost three years and hardly spoken to one another.  What changed?”

“I did.  I’ve let a lot of opportunities slip by me since I came home and I’m trying to rectify that.  Besides, to be completely honest, Abbie and Olivia are both important to me and you’re important to both of them.  I think it would be in our own best interests to become friends.”

Casey was silent for a long moment.  “I’d like that, Alex.  Let me know when you get back to town.  We’ll get together and do girl talk.”

“Thanks, Casey.  Goodnight.”

“Night, Alex.” 

“That was clever, Cabot,” Abbie said as she pushed off the doorjamb.  Alex hung up the phone and turned to Abbie with an arched brow.  “Making nice with Casey?”

“It has nothing to do with being clever, Carmichael.  It has to do with opening my eyes and taking advantage of the opportunities for friendships around me.”

Abbie held up her hands in defense.  “All right, all right, Cabot.  I believe you, Jesus!  I’m glad.  I think it’ll be good for both of you.  Now c’mon,” extending her hand.  “It’s early and I need a walk after that meal.  Let’s go look at the monuments.”

They grabbed their jackets and headed out the door.

************

“Hey, El.”

“Liv, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Just got caught up in something.”

“That something blonde with the initials AC?”

“NO.  Leave it alone, Stabler.” 

“Aw, c’mon, Liv....”

“Elliot, I said leave it alone.  It doesn’t matter... got it?”

A frown crossed Stabler’s face at her tone.  “Yeah, I got it,” he conceded.  “Are we still on for the weekend or you gonna be tied up?”

“No, no... the weekend’s good.  Who all’s coming?”

“Everybody so buy plenty of burgers.  We’ll bring the beer and desserts.”

“All right - tell everyone to come early and plan to stay late.  We may as well enjoy the good weather while it lasts.”

“You sure your friends are okay with all of us just dropping in?”

“It was their suggestion so I’m thinking yeah,” Olivia replied with a smirk.  “Blair has wanted to meet you guys for a while now and this was a perfect excuse as far as she was concerned.”

Elliot chuckled.  “I hope they’re ready for the one-six.”

“I hope they’re ready for John Munch.”  This time Elliot gave a full-fledged laugh.

“No one is ready for Munch.” Liv joined his laughter.  After a moment, the sound wound down and Liv sighed.

“Thanks, El.  I needed that.”

“Glad to help, Liv.  We’ll see you in a couple days. Hang in there, all right?”

“Stay safe, El.”

“Night, Liv.”

************

“Hey, Olivia.”

“Casey? Hey... what’s up?”

Casey looked at the phone in confusion, then put it back to her ear.  Apparently, Olivia was going to ignore their last conversation and for now Casey was glad to let it slide. They could always come back to it later, especially if things worked out the way Casey was hoping they would.  “Nothing much, really.  I was just wondering if I was invited to the get together with the guys tomorrow.”

“Sure... why not?”

“Well, the way we left off....”

“You were honest with me, Casey; I can’t fault you for that.”

“So we’re good?”

“Yeah... we’re good.”

“Great - can I bring a date to this thing?  I’m supposed to have a date with Kathy’s brother.”

“Two birds with one stone?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Sure... as long as you don’t mind the teasing the guys will give you.”

Casey groaned.  “Oh God... I am so screwed.”

“Nah - they’ll save the serious stuff for when you and Abbie finally become a couple.”  Olivia heard Casey’s head hit the desk and winced in reflex. 

“I’m going to go now,” came the mumbled words.  Liv grinned.

“Have a good day, Case.  See you tomorrow.”

************

“I’m going to kill my boss,” Abbie groaned, kicking off her shoes as they stepped into her apartment in the wee hours Saturday morning.  “What a clusterfuck that was.”

“Aw, c’mon, Abbie.  It wasn’t that bad.”  Disbelieving brown eyes cut in Alex’s direction and she held up her hands in a gesture of surrender.  “All right... it was that bad.  But it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been.”

Abbie snorted.  “I’ll remind you of that much later today when you find our picture on the front pages of the gossip and entertainment section of the newspaper.  Personally,” she added dryly, “I’m looking forward to reading the caption.”

“‘Hot Female Attorneys Make an Entrance Together - Cause Riot at the Australian Embassy.’  Film at eleven,” Alex replied drolly, stepping out of her own heels with a sigh of relief.  “God... now I remember why I hate these kinds of functions.  The shoes may look great, but they are a bitch on the feet.”

Abbie’s laugh was wry, but it was a laugh.  “We’re just lucky there wasn’t film.”  She paused.  “Although,” she drawled thoughtfully, “it might be worth the grief to have that on film.  We’d have blackmail material on any number of jackasses for years.”

Alex smirked.  “We already do.  We make the headlines, we’ll have pictures to go with the stories.”

“You do realize that if we make the news here, we’re going to hear about it the next time we are in Manhattan together?”

Alex laughed.  “You do realize that at this point in my life, I’ve decided I’m not willing to let things like that get to me anymore?  If we make the paper I’ll ask if we can each have a copy of the picture.”

Finally Abbie smiled.  “It would certainly make for a memorable keepsake.  But make sure you ask for three.”  Alex cocked a brow but didn’t ask.  Abbie chuckled.  “If I don’t send my mama a copy of that I’ll never be able to go back to Texas again.  And I don’t want to be disowned especially since she’d embarrass me publicly to do it.”  

“I’d like to meet your mother,” Alex commented softly.  “She sounds a lot like my mother was.”

“I think we could probably arrange that; in fact I think we might have to.  She’s going to want to meet you once she sees that picture.  She’s going to want to know what we did to cause such a stir at an Embassy party.

“Aside from walking in together?  I haven’t had that many illicit propositions in my life.  Some of those suggestions I’m going to have to go google,” Alex added, shaking her head.

Abbie snorted.  “I liked your recommendation that they go try some of them with each other.  First time I’ve ever actually been witness to you starting a riot.”

Alex rolled her eyes and slapped Abbie.  “Like you didn’t contribute.”

“At least it was entertaining.  C’mon,” she added with a yawn.  “It’s past my bedtime.”

Alex stood and extended a hand to Abbie.  “Mine too - at least we can sleep in.”

“Yeah... I don’t think the headlines are going to go anywhere for a few hours.”  She lifted the receiver from the cradle and turned the ringer off.  “I’m not getting up early to listen to my boss rant when it hits.”

Alex pulled them down the hall.  “We’ll worry about it later.  After all, it was his idea.”

“Good point.  Night, Alex.”

“Night, Abbie.”

************

“Oh my,” Blair commented as she opened the entertainment section of the Times.  There on page two, in living color, was a full eight by ten picture in the middle of a half page spread article.  The caption that ran underneath the picture said, “City’s Legal Eagles Create Disturbance in Nation’s Capital.”  Then in smaller letters beneath the headline - “Bureau Chief Alexandra Cabot Instigates Riot at Australian Embassy Aided and Abetted by US ADA Abbie Carmichael.”

“What?” Jo asked, looking up from the front page.  For answer Blair passed over the section of the paper she had been reading.  Jo read through the article, chuckling at the description of the party that had quickly escalated into a free-for-all.  “Well,” she said when she had recovered her composure, “at least it’s a good picture.”

“Wonder what kind of damage this will do to them professionally.”

Jo shook her head.  “None if their bosses are smart.  According to the article, those in attendance felt it appropriate to make disparaging sexual comments and suggestions to both Alex and Abbie.  And they resented her suggestion that they try those ideas out with each other. Pretty clever comeback if you ask me.”

“Their bosses probably won’t think so.”

“Maybe,” Jo said as she rose to refill their coffee cups.  “But I don’t think they would chance being seen not backing two high-profile female employees who were witnessed by the press being sexually harassed.  Even if it wasn’t an election year, that’s a very tricky stand to take.”

“At least Alex didn’t take the first swing this time.”

Jo’s brow went into her hairline.  “Has she before?”

Blair raised her coffee to her lips and took a sip before replying.  “It wasn’t a swing, exactly.  It was more of a kick.”  She paused thoughtfully.  “That boy didn’t walk right for three full days after that.”

Jo winced in sympathy.  “Glad she’s on our side.  Hey... you think Liv’s seen this?” tapping the picture still in front of her.

“I’d say yes except we don’t get delivery of the paper out there.  So unless she’s been out this morning, probably not.”

“Then we may want to head over sooner rather than later just to give her a little head’s up on it.  I don’t think her squad would rag her about it, but she may not want the majority of them to see her reaction if she gets blindsided by it either.  She’s pretty private.”

“All right... I packed our day bag last night so I just need to change and then we can go.”

Jo nodded.  “Be quick, Princess.  I know she told them to come early so I’m thinking they’ll be there by ten.  If we can leave in the next ten minutes, we should be there by nine-thirty at the latest.”  Blair didn’t answer, having already moved upstairs.  Even princesses understood the need for speed occasionally.

************

“Well,” Olivia said, clearing her throat, “at least it’s a good picture.”

“Yeah - they make a striking couple....”

“... though not like me and Jo,” Blair added impishly, causing Liv to chuckle in spite of herself.  “I wonder what caused Alex to go off like that though.  She’s been going to those kinds of functions all her life.  She knows to take everything with a grain or six of salt.”

Liv raised a brow.  “Are we talking about the same Alex Cabot?  The same Alex Cabot that got thrown in jail for contempt... that Alex Cabot??  The Alex Cabot I knew didn’t take shit from anyone.”

“The prosecutor Alex Cabot didn’t; the politician Alex Cabot knows how to play the political and diplomatic game.  She grew up learning how to play it.”

“Well, I know it wouldn’t have taken much for Abbie Carmichael to have gone Texas on their asses.  She’s New York class all the way, but she’s got a Texas woman’s sensibilities when it comes to dealing with idiots.  She’ll only tolerate just so much stupid before she lets the cowgirl loose.  I used to love going out with her just to watch it happen,” Liv confessed.

“No wonder she left the DA’s office,” Blair commented sotto voce, drawing laughter from both Liv and Jo. 

“So you’re okay with this?” Jo asked Olivia point blank when their laughter died down.  Liv shrugged.

“Why wouldn’t I be?  I don’t have a claim on either of them,” she said diffidently though she didn’t meet Jo’s eyes.  Jo crouched down until green eyes met brown, forcing Liv to look at her.

“Maybe not, but one of them has a claim on you, doesn’t she?  C’mon Liv... if you can’t be honest with me, you need to at least be honest with yourself.  Isn’t that the first thing you taught me?”  Olivia didn’t answer verbally but then Jo didn’t really need her to.  She knew and so did Liv.  A knock on the door broke their stare and Blair moved off to answer it before either of them could move to do so.  “We’ll talk later?”  Liv shrugged again.  Jo wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a light kiss to her hair.  “Only if you want to, Liv.  I’d never force that kind of confidence.  Now c’mon - smile.  This is a party.”

Whatever response she might have made was lost in the melee that were Elliot’s brood coming in, and their thoughts turned to the fun of a Saturday pool party with friends.

************

The sound of laughter carried across the yard and Olivia couldn’t help but smile in reaction.  Elliot’s two youngest kids were uninhibited and coaxing the rest of the group into the pool by turn.  They, more than anyone, had ensured the success of the party though everyone was making an effort.  Conversation flowed and laughter rang out and from the grill; Olivia nodded her head in contentment.  This had been a good idea.

“This was a good idea,” Elliot commented as he came up to stand beside her.  “I like your friends.”

Liv looked around at Jo who was currently engaged in an animated discussion with Kathy Stabler and John Munch, causing them both to giggle over something.  Blair and Fin were... Olivia tilted her head slightly.  It looked like they were doing some sort of dance step together though she’d never seen anything quite like it.  It was quite interesting to watch.  “They’re good people,” Liv agreed.  “I’m glad Blair suggested it... glad all of you were able to take the time off.”

“Cap made sure of it,” nodding to Cragen who was sitting by the edge of the pool dangling his feet in the water watching the kids.  “We’ve missed you.”

Olivia kept her eyes on the grill.  “I’ve missed you guys, too.”

“But...?”

“But I’m not gonna lie and tell you this has been a hardship.”  She took a deep breath.  “I think I needed this, El.  This has been... renewing for me.”

He turned to her, waiting until she met his eyes.  “You coming back?” straight and to the point.

She held his gaze for a long moment.  “I think so, yeah.”  A beat, then she sighed.  “As much as I have enjoyed this... as much as I will treasure the time I’ve had to concentrate on my art... I need to be out there doing what we do.  We make a difference and that’s important.”

“Yeah, we do,” Elliot said with a brief smile.  “By the way, Si-mon,” drawing the name out disdainfully, “called looking for you again.”  Liv sighed and looked back down at the grill, carefully turning the burgers.

“Sorry.”

“Liv, you gotta deal with all this sometime.”

“I know. I just... I’m not sure what to do with him.  My life was a lot less complicated before I found him.”

“Are you sorry you did?”

“Sometimes?  Yeah,” she said honestly.  She shrugged.  “There just seems to be a lot more... it was easier when it was just me.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

“Nothing for now.  Maybe he’ll take the hint and back off for a while.”

“And Cabot?”  Her head popped up so quickly, Elliot expected to see it go flying.

“Leave. It. Alone. El.”  He held up his hands in surrender.

“All right.  You know where to find me when you’re ready to talk about it.”   Her shoulders slumped and his hands landed on them, gently kneading out the tension.  “It’ll work out, Liv.  It always does.”  He looked across the yard.  “I better go rescue Lake,“ forcing a chuckle from Liv when she saw the situation he’d managed to get into with Elliot’s kids.

“Go on... burgers will be ready in a few.”  He headed off and Casey took that moment to come over.  “Hey, Case.”

“Hey, Liv.”  She took a deep breath.  “Smells good.”  She looked around.  “It’s nice here... thanks for inviting us out.”

“It was Blair’s idea,” motioning to the blonde who was now talking to Casey’s erstwhile date.  “But I’m glad everyone was able to come.  This has been fun.  How’s the date going?”

“Eh....” Casey shrugged.  “He’s a nice guy, probably a lot of fun....”  She broke off and looked out across the expanse of yard like she was searching for answers.

“But...?”

“But... I don’t know.”  She paused a minute and Liv remained quiet, shifting burgers from the grill to a platter in preparation for eating.  Finally Casey turned back to Olivia.  “Did you see the paper this morning?”

“Yep.”

Casey waited, but Liv didn’t say anything else.  She huffed.  “Doesn’t it bother you?  C’mon, Liv....”

“Casey, what do you want me to say?” not denying it, but refusing to acknowledge it aloud as well.  “They’re beautiful women; they make a gorgeous couple.  No wonder they attracted attention and suggestive comments.  Doesn’t make it right, but it does make it understandable.  Does it bother you?”

“Yes... no... I’m not sure.”  She blew out an impatient breath.  “I think it’s making me jealous... and I don’t even have a right to be jealous.”

”Maybe you should figure out why that is, Case.”  She picked up the platter and headed to the picnic table that was loaded with an array of food.  “C’mon... let’s call everyone over.  We can worry about the rest later... or not.”

“That means you too, right?”  Liv leveled Casey a long look before turning and beckoning her eagerly awaiting friends to lunch.  Casey just swallowed and shook her head.  “All righty, then,” she muttered before picking up a plate and helping herself.

************

“Well that was surprising,” Abbie commented to Alex as they left the restaurant.  Abbie’s boss had indeed called though he had waited until a reasonable hour, then invited them out to an early Sunday brunch.  They had gone; Abbie had decided he wouldn’t make a scene in public.

To the contrary, he had been apologetic to both Abbie and Alex.  “You have to understand that I never expected that sort of reaction.  Personally, I don’t blame you for the comment,” Ronald added, looking directly at Alex.  “Given some of the things I’ve been informed were said I applaud your restraint.”

“Yes,” his wife Leigh Anne added drolly.  “I would have taken the first swing, myself.”  She glanced at her husband with a smirk.  “This is what happens when you get a room full of drunk, ex-jock lawyers together.”

Abbie snorted.  “Happens a lot then, huh?”

“It would if you and Alex attended functions like this together more often.  Fortunately for us and for the diplomatic corps, you’re several hundred miles apart.  We’re just lucky the Australian ambassador has a sense of humor.”

“And a sense of propriety. I think she was as offended as we were.”  A beat.  “At least it was an equal opportunity embarrassment for everyone.”

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about any diplomatic lawyerly type functions any time in the near future.”

“Thank God for that,” Leigh Anne commented.  “Now how about we talk about something interesting?  Alex, would you be willing to share about your experience in the Witness Protection Program?  So few actually end like yours did with the individual able to return to the life they had before.  It would be nice to hear a success story for a change.”

“Well, I’m not sure how successful I’d consider it, but I’m certainly willing to tell you what I can.  What would you like to know?”

Leigh Anne and Ronald exchanged glances at her wording, then turned back to Alex.  “Whatever you would like to share, my dear.”  Ronald motioned the waiter to their table.  “But first I think we should order our drinks and get some food.  I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m starving.”  They grinned and nodded their assent, then placed their orders.  Conversation was nice and varied through the rest of the meal and they all left in a satisfied state of mind.

“It was pleasant,” Alex agreed as they walked towards the Mall area.  “Your boss and his wife seem like nice people.”

“Yeah, they are,” Abbie agreed with a shrug.  “You all right?  I know you don’t like to talk about that whole witness protection thing.”

“Eh... I’m all right.  It’s not my favorite subject, but it is part of who I am... for better or worse.  Now c’mon.  Let’s go play tourist.  There are still museums I haven’t visited in years, and I’ll bet you haven’t visited them at all.  Time to broaden your horizons, Carmichael and give you some culture.”

“Awww, Caaaabbbbbooottt,” Abbie whined.  “My horizons are broad enough.  Can’t we go to Kings Dominion?”

Alex stuck her hand into the pocket of Abbie’s leather jacket and snagged her keys.  “Only if I get to drive,” chuckling as she skipped out of Abbie’s reach.

“Not my new Boxter.”  Alex kept walking away, devilish smile on her face.  “Cabot....”

Alex held up her hand and jingled the keys.  “C’mon, Carmichael,” backing up towards the car.

“Cabot,” Abbie growled, then huffed when big blue eyes blinked up at her appealingly.  “Dammit!” she cursed, crawling into the passenger side and crossing her arms over her chest.  “Not a scratch, Cabot.”

“Not a scratch, Carmichael.  I only want to drive a little while.  It’s not like I do it that often.”

Abbie’s eyes widened in alarm as the car started moving forward.  “Wait, do you even have a license?”  When there was no immediate answer forthcoming, she clutched the dashboard.  “Alex!  ALEX!!!”

************

“That was a lot of fun,” Alex commented as Abbie drove them back towards Washington.  “Who knew you could squeal like a girl??”

Abbie took her eyes off the road briefly to glare at Alex, only to stick out her tongue at the impish grin she got in return.  “The human body is not supposed to contort like that.  It was either squeal or hurl.”

Alex grimaced.  “Thank you for squealing then.  Puking wouldn’t have added anything to our day.”

“Did you really have fun?”

“I had a blast!  Thank you for insisting.  Though I should have known you were a season passholder.  A lot of those kids knew you by name.”

“It’s a nice way to blow off a little steam and unwind when I’m not in Manhattan for the weekend.”

“Hmm... maybe we should coax Liv and Casey down here one weekend.  Make a party of it.”

“It’ll have to wait til spring.”

“Why?”

“Because there aren’t but a couple weekends left in the season and I’d prefer if we were all at least able to be civil together before we try something so ambitious.”

“Fair enough,” Alex said after a moment’s thought.

“So are you headed back tomorrow?” Abbie asked after the silence lengthened.  “You know you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

“I know, and I appreciate it.  But I need to get back and take care of a few things before I have to head back to work next week.”

“You looking forward to it?” Abbie asked as she smoothly moved the Boxter around a slower moving vehicle.  When Alex didn’t answer immediately, she turned her head slightly to catch a glimpse of Alex biting her bottom lip thoughtfully.  “Alex?”

“Sorry... I was just thinking.”  She grew quiet and Abbie waited.  “You know... I’m not sure I am - looking forward to it I mean.  I’m not sure I want to do this anymore.”

Abbie blinked but didn’t take her eyes from the road.  “This,” she spoke carefully.  “Do you mean the law?  The DA’s office?  What?”

“Both, some days,” Alex said honestly.  “But mostly the DA’s office.  I’m not crazy about being a Bureau Chief and every day lessens the allure it once had for me a little more.”

“What bothers you about it?” Abbie finally asked after several long moments.  “I thought it was a serious stepping stone to realizing your political ambitions.”

“It is,” Alex agreed, “or it would be if I still had those same ambitions.  I’m just not sure that’s what I really want out of life anymore.”

“You don’t want to be the DA anymore?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say no if it dropped into my lap,” Alex noted drolly.  “But it’s not something I’m actively pursuing anymore either.”

“So what do you want to do?”  She continued when she felt Alex hesitate beside her.  “C’mon Alex... if you could do anything... anything in the world - what would make you happy?”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever actually thought about it - not in that context anyway.  I thought about it a lot while I was in witness protection.  I thought coming back to Manhattan and resuming my life as Alex Cabot would be all I needed to be happy.”

“But...?”

“But it didn’t.  Wait... it did.  I was thrilled to be able to come home again - to be me and not some made up printout conceived by some really bad hack writer.  But everything had changed.  I had changed and I never took the time to decide what I wanted to do.  I just took the life I was offered and started living it without even considering if it was all I wanted it to be.  And what a fucked up mess I seem to have made of that.”

“Then maybe you need to take the next week and figure out what Alex Cabot wants to do with the rest of her life.  You were given a second chance, Alex - don’t squander it.”

“Well, I know the first thing I want to do at the moment,” pointing to a sign on the road.  “We need ice cream.”

Ever obliging, Abbie put on her blinker and gave Alex a rakish smile.  “Never let it be said that Abbie Carmichael doesn’t know how to cater to a woman’s needs.”

“I’ll make sure Casey knows that.”

Abbie glared again.  “You can walk home, you know.”

Alex wrapped her hands around Abbie’s bicep.  “Nah... you love me too much.”

It was the last thing she would remember for a while.

************

“All right! All right!!  I’m coming!  Give it a rest, will ya??”  Olivia jerked the door open and glared at the intruder until she realized it was Elliot standing in front of her with a very sober expression on his face.  “El?” she asked, pushing her hair back away from her face with a suddenly nervous hand and opening the door wider so he could cross into the house.

“Elliot, what’s going on?” Liv asked after a moment of tense silence.  “Why are you here?”

He sighed and looked at her steadily.  “I’m on my way to pick up Alex’s housekeeper.”  He scratched an eyebrow.  “Alex and Abbie were the victims of a violent crime tonight.”  He looked at his watch.  “Last night, I guess it is now.  The hospital called Blair who was Alex’s point of contact; when she arrived in DC she had Jo call me and ask me to pick up Geraldine Bernard and get her on a flight to Washington.  Apparently it’s bad enough that they’re gonna need help for a little while once they’re released.  I thought you might want to be aware.”

“Why?”

He put his hands on her shoulders.  “Don’t, Liv.  Don’t be stupid about this and don’t try to lie to me and pretend that you don’t care.”

She jerked out of his grip though he wasn’t holding her tightly and turned her back to him.  “I can’t, Elliot.  I can’t afford to care like that again!  I won’t do it!”  Her stance was so rigid Elliot hurt just looking at her and he waited, wondering how long it would take her to break.  She kept her face to the living room.  “What happened?  How are they?” she asked in a whispered voice.

He shrugged, even though she couldn’t see him.  “I don’t know, Liv.  Blair didn’t have any details.  Only that they were assaulted and in the hospital.  Look, I need to go.  You gonna be all right?”

She lifted a hand to her face, pushing her hair out of her eyes again before she turned to face him again.  “I’ll be fine.  You be careful, all right?” she added as she opened the door.  He nodded and looked like he wanted to say more before finally opting to leave without another word.  Olivia waited until he was in the car and pulling away before she closed the door.  She went back into the living room and stood in front of her artwork for a long time.  Then she sighed and packed an overnight bag, snatching up her jacket and heading for her car.  “I must be out of my fucking mind,” she muttered as she headed south, not realizing until she was miles down the road that she didn’t even know where she was going.

“Polniaczek.”

“Where’m I going, Jo?”

“Liv?” like she hadn’t been sitting there waiting for the call Blair had assured her would come sooner rather than later.

“C’mon, Jo.  I’m halfway to DC already.  Where am I going?”

“Langley Air Force Base.  It was the closest facility.  I’ll have Blair call the front gate so they will pass you through.  Come up to the third floor waiting room.  We’ll be here.”

“Wait... you’re in DC?  With Blair?” not asking the question that was burning on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah, Liv.  She got the phone call from the hospital and we left as soon as we could get to the airport.  I told the Cap it was a family emergency... which is technically true on several levels.  So yeah... we’ll be here when you get here or I’ll call and let you know where we’ll be otherwise, all right?”

“Thanks, Jo.”

“Notta problem, Liv.  They’re both stabilized and the doc doesn’t expect that to change - said they were both very lucky.  So you take your time and drive safely, all right?”  Olivia nodded her head and bit her lip before remembering that Jo couldn’t see her.

“Yeah... okay.”  She cleared the hoarseness from her throat.  “Jo, what happened?”

Jo shrugged and the action was obvious in her tone.  “All evidence indicates a hate crime.”

“What?!?  What the hell kind of a hate crime...?!?”

“Gay bashing,” her words succinct and to the point.  “A Marine saw what was going on and pulled the kids off them.  His girlfriend called 911 and then started first responder protocol while he and a buddy took care of the children.  They managed to collar a couple of them before the police and emergency services arrived.”

“Have you talked to them?”

“The Marines or the kids?” Jo asked then continued without waiting for a reply.  “The Marines left word on how they could be contacted; asked if they could be notified on Abbie’s and Alex’s condition in the morning - or later today as the case may be.  The detectives here have promised me professional courtesy as far as the kids go.  They’re in lock-up tonight and with two decorated Marines as witnesses.  The police don’t expect them to be released on bail since they’re acknowledged gang members.”

“I wanna talk to them,” Liv said in a steady voice.

“You focus on getting here.  We’ll worry about the rest later, okay?”  Silence.  “C’mon, Liv... promise me you’re not gonna be stupid about this.”

“I’ll be careful, Jo, and I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

“Liv,” growling into the phone.  Olivia sighed.  She should have known Jo wouldn’t let her get away with less than a promise.  She was the best - Liv had taught her well.

“All right, Jo... I promise - nothing stupid.”

“Good girl.  See you shortly.”

“Thanks, Jo.”  The rest of the ride was made in the solemn silence of the early morning night.

************

It was still dark when Olivia pulled up to the gate at Langley Air Force Base though there was the barest hint of lightening in the eastern sky.  She stopped at the upraised hand of the airman standing duty and passed him her ID case and shield.  He studied it for a moment, then leaned down to her window.

“Where are you headed, ma’am?”

“The hospital - two friends were brought in by ambulance earlier.  Blair Warner was supposed to call down and leave my name...?”

The airman stood back up and consulted a clipboard, comparing her ID to the names on his list.  After a moment, he nodded his head.  “Yes ma’am.  Do you know where the hospital is?”  When she shook her head, the airman took a copy of the base map that was kept in the guard shack for just such occasions and gave her explicit directions.  When he was done, he passed her the map and her ID and shield, then raised the gate for her to pass through.  She looked around with vague curiosity, noting the number of formations out running already.  Then she arrived at the hospital and everything else was put aside in her need to find Jo.

In the end it wasn’t hard.  Jo was standing outside the waiting room when Olivia stepped from the elevator.  Without a word, she took Liv’s hand and led her into the care unit where Alex and Abbie were currently resting.  Jo stopped at the door, nodding at the nurse and motioning to Olivia to go ahead.  Then she crossed her arms over her chest and stood back to wait.

Liv crossed to Abbie’s bed first as it was the closest to the door, wincing when she saw the damage that had been done.  Black eyes, split lip, arm in a cast - Olivia pushed a lock of brown hair out of Abbie’s face gently, wondering if the cut at her hairline would leave a scar.  She leaned forward and brushed her lips over Abbie’s forehead, whispering something in a language Jo couldn’t decipher.  After a moment, Liv stood upright again and took a deep breath before taking the steps necessary to bring her to Alex’s side.

Liv bit her lip.  Alex looked much like Abbie did - black eyes, split lip, cut on the cheek - but instead of her arm in a cast, her head was swathed in gauze.  Liv wondered if her blonde hair had been completely shorn or if it had been tucked up inside the bandage somehow.  She stood still just looking, reaching out, but stopping short before she allowed herself to touch Alex in any way.  She let her hand fall to her side and dropped her head.  She didn’t even jump when Jo came up beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“They’re gonna be all right, Liv.  In fact, they’re gonna be moved to Georgetown tomorrow.”

“What?” Olivia asked, turning to face Jo.  “Why?  They’re still unconscious!”

“Yeah, but they’re stable.  This is a military hospital so since they’re no longer in imminent danger, they need to be moved to a civilian hospital.”  Jo took Liv’s hand and led her back towards the waiting room.  “I figure Blair and Alex’s housekeeper can go with them while you and I stay here for a day or two and keep an eye on what happens with those kids.”

Liv looked around when they reached the waiting room.  “Where is Blair?”

“She picked Geraldine up at the airport and took her back to a hotel after a quick stop here.  We thought they should be rested to transport Alex and Abbie to Georgetown.”

“So what now?”

“Now you and I are gonna go catch a few z’s before we head over to the police department later.  Those kids have an arraignment in a little while and then we’re gonna have a word.”  Olivia nodded.  Jo looked at her closely, noting the pallor beneath the naturally dark skin.  “Hey,” laying a concerned hand on Liv’s arm.  “You okay?”

“Yeah... can you give me a minute?”

“Sure, Liv.  You want me to wait here or...?”

“Yeah... I’ll be right back.”  Then Olivia crossed back into the room where Abbie and Alex still lay unconscious.

She walked directly to Alex’s bed this time - no hesitation.  She took Alex’s hand gently in her own, stroking the smooth skin over her knuckles and marveling at the softness.  Olivia had always admired Alex’s hands - soft, unblemished skin; long, tapered fingers; a delicacy belying the strength behind them.  She was glad that the years had been kind to Alex in that regard.

“I’m sorry, Alex.  Despite everything, I wouldn’t have had this happen to either one of you.  We’ll get justice for you both... I promise.”

Olivia leaned down, kissing Alex briefly on the cheek and lingering for a moment to breathe in a scent that was at once familiar and foreign to her.  After a long moment, she lifted her head, letting her gaze roam over Alex’s profile for another minute.  She lightly squeezed the hand she held, then released it and left the room without a backward glance.  She never saw the tear that tracked down Alex’s face.

************

“You ready to talk now, punk?”

“Fuck you, asshole.  I ain’t telling you nothing.”

Liv and Jo stood in the box watching the interrogation of one of the kids the Marines had caught.  So far though, it had been less than productive.  Liv looked at the lieutenant watching with them.  “Give me a shot.”

“Detective Benson....”

“Lieutenant, please.  I can get what you need.”

“Detective, you’re too close to this.  You can’t be objective.”

“Screw objective!”

“Liv!”

“Detective!”

Olivia scrubbed a hand through her hair.  “Look,” she said in a more subdued tone, “I know I’m too close to this, but this is about justice.  We’ve got these two dead to rights, but what about the rest of them?  Do they get to go free?”

“No, Detective... we’ll get what we need.  It may just take a little longer than we want.  We know who many of the gang members are.  It’s simply a matter of finding them and putting them in the right place at the right time.”

“I still think I could get the information we need.”

“I’m sure you could, Detective.  However, since you are already on suspension I don’t think it’s a good idea.  Don’t glare at your friend,” the lieutenant admonished.  “I checked on both of you as soon as Detective Polniaczek asked for professional courtesy to be extended.  Impressive records, I must say.  BUT,” he added without pausing, “I don’t think letting you get involved here would be good for you or this case.  We don’t want to lose what we already have because of your involvement.”

Liv sighed, knowing he was right.  “Fine,” she grumbled.  “But I’d like to be kept in the loop,” handing him her card.

“Absolutely, Detective,” handing her his in return.  “As soon as we know anything new.”

“Thanks,” she said before she turned on her heel and left the room.  Jo and the lieutenant exchanged a long look before Jo nodded her agreement to their unspoken conversation. 

“I’ll be back as soon as....”

“Yeah - I’ll still be here somewhere.  Just ask for me.”

“Thanks, LT,” then she followed Liv out of the station.  “Hey,” she called out as she caught up with Olivia just outside.  “You all right?”

“Peachy,” rubbing a hand over her face.  “Look, can you get a ride back to the hotel?”

“Yeah, sure... why?”

“I’m going home.”

“What??  Liv, why?”

“I don’t belong here... not now.”

“What about Alex?  And Abbie?”

“They have you and Blair and Geraldine.  They’ll be fine.”

Jo shook her head.  “I don’t believe it.  Olivia Benson has turned into a chicken shit.  I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Leave it alone, Jo.”

“Go home, Liv.  You’re useless here.  Maybe you deserve the mess you’re in.  You’ve lost your nerve.”  Before Olivia could respond, Jo turned and went back inside.  Olivia watched with unseeing eyes, her mind replaying the words of accusation that had flowed from Jo’s lips.  Then she climbed in her car and headed north, never looking back.  Then hurt gave way to anger and she pulled into the next rest area she came to.  There was more than one way to skin a cat and Olivia Benson was fixing to call in a few markers to do just that.

************

Liv pulled into the Bureau parking lot and turned off her car.  Jo’s words still rankled her, but she was honest enough with herself to acknowledge the kernel of truth behind them.  However, she’d made a promise to Alex that she intended to keep.  She signed in at the desk and was met by Dana Lewis.  “Detective Benson... this is unexpected,” extending a hand.  “To what do I owe this visit?”

“I need a favor.”

“Come into my office and let’s talk.”

They walked down the short hallway and Dana motioned Liv in ahead of her before closing the door behind them both.  “What sort of favor?”  So Olivia explained what was going on - about Alex’s and Abbie’s assault; about the Marines who had stepped in and stopped it; about the gang members that had been apprehended and those still on the loose.  “So what exactly do you want the FBI to do, Detective?  It sounds like everything is under control.  And this isn’t actually within our jurisdiction.”  Liv got up to pace.

“I dunno... keep an eye on things.  Help them out.  I don’t want these thugs to get away!”

“Why do you think they will?  If they already have two of them in custody....”

“I don’t know,” Olivia said more forcefully, raking her hands through her hair.  “I just... I need to be part of this and I can’t be.  At least if you and the Bureau were keeping an eye on this I’d feel better.”

“Detective....”

“You know what?  Nevermind.  I’ll take care of this myself.  I’m sorry I bothered you,” flinging the door open and stomping down the hall.”

“Detective!  Olivia, wait!”

At the sound of her name, Liv turned and looked back at the FBI agent.  “Look, Dana... I’m sorry I tried to get you involved in this, all right?  There’s nothing you can do.  I get it!”

“Olivia, I’ll make some phone calls... see what we can do.” A beat.  “Can I ask why this is so personal for you?”

“Alex and Abbie are... friends.”

“Is that all?”  Olivia returned Dana’s look with one of her own.  “Come on, Olivia.  There must be more to it than that.  Otherwise, you’d have either forced your way into the on-going investigation despite your suspension, or you’d have completely left it alone.”  Silence and Liv’s gaze remained unwavering... unflinching.  Dana sighed.  “All right - I’ll do what I can.  But you stay out of this.  I mean it, Detective.  You stay out of this or I’ll come after you myself.  You got it?”

“I got it.  Thanks, Dana.”

“Uh huh.  Just make sure I get an invitation when things get settled.”

A frown crossed Olivia’s features.  “An invitation?  An invitation to what?”

Dana chuckled.  “You’ll know when you figure it out.  Just don’t forget you owe me.”

A confused look washed over Liv’s face before she shook her head.  “I’ll remember.”

“You do that.”  Dana gestured them back towards the door.  “Where can I reach you?”

Liv passed her a card.  “Call the cell.  It’s always on.”

Dana accepted the card.  “I’ll be in touch.”  Then Olivia was outside and heading towards Georgetown University Hospital.

************

“Novak.”

“Hey, Casey.  It’s Olivia.”

“Hey, Olivia - what’s up?  Have you recovered after having a houseful of guests Saturday?  I have to tell you that Trevor was a little miffed he didn’t get invited.”

“He’ll get over it.  Have you talked to Elliot today?”

“No, I think he called out sick today. Why?”

“Um... I’m guessing you haven’t heard then yet.”

“Heard what?”  The slightest pause before Casey continued to speak.  “C’mon, Olivia.  Obviously something happened or you wouldn’t have felt the need to call.  What’s going on?”

Liv blew out a breath.  “Alex and Abbie were attacked last night.  They’re okay,” she continued before Casey could ask, “or they will be.  They’re being transferred to Georgetown today.  Alex’s housekeeper has already come down to keep an eye on them once they’re released.”

“What happened?  Why were they attacked?  What’s being done to catch the perps?”

So Liv told Casey everything she knew, leaving out her confrontation with Jo and her visit to Quantico.  Those were on a need to know basis and as far as Olivia was concerned, no one needed to know.

“Maybe I should take some time off... come down there.”

“And do what?  I don’t think that’s a good idea... at least not right now.  They weren’t even conscious when I was there earlier.  Maybe once they’re home and recovering.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  Are you sure they’re going to be all right?”

“Yeah... the doctor was confident they would be awake in a day or two.  They want them to rest to help their ribs to heal.”

Casey sighed.  “All right.  I’ll wait until I hear from you, but keep me in the loop, please?”

“You know I will.”

“Thanks, Olivia.”  A knock on her door came through the phone.  “I need to go.  Talk to you later?”

“Yep.”

************

“Mr. Moss?  This is Detective Olivia Benson.”

“Olivia... how lovely to hear from you.  And please - it’s Kurt, remember?”

Liv rolled her eyes but nodded.  “Kurt, of course,” she agreed reluctantly.  They’d met at a charity event and shared some interesting conversation and a few dates.  Then Olivia had found out who Kurt Moss really was and what he did for a living.  It hadn’t taken but a moment’s thought to realize what a bad idea that was for her.

“So what can I do for you?” he asked with a smile in his voice.  “Tell me my charming personality has finally worn you down and you’re ready to consider a more serious relationship with me.”

“Um... no.”  She sighed.  “Actually I need a favor.”

“I see.  And if I do this favor for you, what’s in it for me exactly?”

“Kurt, do you understand nothing can come of us together?  You’re a nice enough guy, but you’re also an editor for the New York Ledger and I swore I would never be involved with a journalist again.”

“At least give me one more chance to change your mind. Not all journalists are bad people, you know.”

“I’m sure, but you know the old adage - ‘once bitten, twice shy’.”  When her words were met with silence, Olivia sighed.  “Fine... one more date.”

“Wonderful,” he crowed.  “When?”

Liv reached up and clutched her hair in frustration.  “I don’t know.  I’m not in town at the moment.”   She paused thoughtfully.  “How about this weekend?  I’ll come back to Manhattan Friday evening; we can do it then.”

“Anxious, hmm?  I’ll get reservations somewhere nice and let you know.  Now what can I do for you, Olivia?” affecting a serious tone as his mind turned from flirtatious to business.

“I need to talk to the reporter who wrote the article and posted the picture about the Australian Embassy debacle that involved Abbie Carmichael and Alex Cabot and I can’t do it in an official capacity as a police officer.  I was hoping you could get me an introduction.”

“Absolutely.  Let me make a few phone calls and I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you, Mr.... Kurt.”

“Anything for you, Olivia.”  Then the line went dead.

“God - the things I do...” letting the thought trail off.  “I just hope the guys don’t find out.  Otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it.  Elliot finds out I’m dating another newspaper man and it’s all over.”  She took a deep breath and looked around the Georgetown University Hospital parking lot.  “Now for Jo.”  Without giving herself time to back out of it, Liv opened the door of her car and stepped out, heading into the hospital with marked determination in her stride.

************

“Come in, Ms Novak.  What can I do for you?” gesturing Casey to a seat across the desk.  Casey seated herself and folded her hands in her lap.  Liz tilted her head in concern.  “Casey?”

Casey cleared her throat.  “I’m going to be taking some time off.  I haven’t talked to Arthur yet, but as soon as it can be arranged, I’m headed down to DC.”

Liz’s eyebrows rose into her hairline.  “Would you like to start at the beginning and tell me the whole story?”

Casey got up and wandered over to the window, staring sightlessly at the vista below.  Liz’s eyes followed her, but she remained silent, waiting for Casey to speak.  Casey sighed.  “Did you see the picture in the Times yesterday... the one of Alex Cabot and Abbie Carmichael?”

Liz snorted.  “Yes... made me wonder what on earth Cabot said to cause a riot.  Not that I was particularly surprised.  Like you, neither she nor Abbie were ever able to suffer fools lightly,” she added with a chuckle.  Casey smiled wanly.

“If you didn’t read the article, if you only looked at the picture... they looked like a couple - a gorgeous, lesbian couple,” she continued before Liz could make the obvious snark.  She turned and looked Liz squarely in the eyes.  “They were victims of a gay bashing last night.”

“WHAT?!?”  Liz waved her hands before Casey could repeat herself.  “I heard you - I even understood you.  I’m just not sure I understand... why??  What happened?”

Casey repeated what Olivia had shared with her including the Marines’ involvement, the police investigation and Alex’s and Abbie’s medical conditions.  “Olivia promised to keep me in the loop, but I’d feel better if I was there... if I could just check on them myself.”

“Personally involved, Ms Novak?”

“Not yet... but I’d like to be,” she confessed shyly.  “I just... I need to be there.”

Liz smiled, remembering what it was like to be young and in the discovery of new love.  She slapped her hands on her desk, causing Casey to jump, then stood and straightened her skirt.  “All right... let’s go talk to Arthur and see if we can get you out of here in the next day or two.”

************

“You wanna run that by me again?” Branch asked when Casey had finished explaining what had happened once more.  “Carmichael and Cabot were victims of a gay bashing because of the picture that ran in the Times yesterday??”

“That’s what the police in Virginia believe,” Casey replied.  “The two kids they caught were acknowledged gang members.  I haven’t heard anything else from Olivia so I don’t know if it was an initiation or a random act of wrong place, wrong time or if they were targeted and hunted because of the picture.  I just don’t know.  But I do know I need to be there.”

Branch sighed and rubbed his forehead.  He was getting a massive headache - and all because the Alex Cabot that had been once known around the precinct and Hogan Place as the Ice Princess had finally returned with a vengeance.  He wondered offhandedly if she would return to the DA’s office when her suspension was up and then realized that probably wasn’t an option now for at least a few more weeks - not if she was as injured as he was being led to believe.  He sighed loudly.  “I need you to wrap up the Bristol case.  We have worked too long and hard to catch the bastard to let him go on a technicality and you’re the only one familiar enough with the case to bring him to justice.  Where are you at with it?”

“One more witness from the defense tomorrow morning and then closing arguments,” Liz answered when Casey looked at her with a question in her eyes.  “I expect the jury deliberation to be short if there is even half a brain among them.”

Arthur snorted and shook his head.  “We all know what that means.  All right, Casey - as soon as you have a verdict, you can go.  But I expect you to stay in touch and keep us informed of what’s happening.  I’ll assign a couple of the interns from Cabot’s department to work on whatever is outstanding with SVU.  Make sure you brief them well in case they have to go to trial while you’re gone.”

Casey nodded.  “Thanks, Arthur.”

“Just remember what I said,” he responded gruffly.  “Now go on - you’ve got a lot to do, and you want to be able to leave as soon as the verdict is in.”

She nodded again and walked out with a brief glance at Liz who simply waved her dismissal.  When the door was closed, Branch turned to Donnelly.

“What the hell is happening here?  I feel like I’m suddenly in an out of control chariot speeding towards hell and damnation itself.”

“I think it’s called life, Arthur.  Unfortunately the ugly side we deal with everyday just hit home a little more personally this time.”

He huffed.  “I’m going to make a few phone calls - see if I can get any more information about all this.  You’ll keep an eye on Casey?”

“Yes, but she’ll be fine.  She’s a professional.  She won’t let her personal life interfere here.  What happens when she’s in Washington, however....”

“I have a friend or two that will be able to keep an eye on all of them there.  We don’t want a repeat of this incident and we already know Detective Benson is something of a loose cannon.  I’d hate to have anything else happen because of her propensity to go off half-cocked.  Besides, I’m fairly certain IAB wouldn’t look too kindly on her actions if she did.”

“Make your calls.  I’ve got a few of my own to make.  You’ll keep me informed?”

“Yes... and you’ll do the same.”

“You got it,” Liz agreed as she closed the door firmly behind her.

************

“Where are they, Jo?”  Olivia called as she reached the hospital doors realizing she had no way of finding them and no shield to flash to aid her quest.

“Well, if it isn’t Detective Chickenshit,” Jo snarked.  “I’m not sure I should tell you.  I mean you really don’t need to know, do you?  Not like you can see them in New York.”

She took a deep breath, swallowing both her anger and her pride.  “I’m not in New York, Jo.  I’m at the hospital in Georgetown.  I’m standing outside the front doors.  I just need to know where to go.”

“Wait there.  I’ll be right down.”  A click signaled the end of the call and Liv snapped her phone closed and stuck her hands in her pockets.  A rumble of thunder caught her attention and she was staring up at the late afternoon sky when Jo stepped through the hospital doors.  Jo came right up behind her and craned her neck.

“Looks like rain’s rolling in.”  Olivia turned and met intense green eyes.

“Kinda fits the way things seem to be going today,” Liv shrugged.

“What are you doing here, Liv?  I thought you were going home.”  Without further warning, water began to pour from the sky even though both women could still see sunshine.  Jo sighed and tugged Olivia by the arm until they were sitting on one of the main lobby’s couches.  “Now spill,” Jo commanded sternly.

Olivia sighed.  “You’re right.  My suspension’s a situation of my own making, and though what happened here isn’t my fault directly, I still have a responsibility even if it is only one of friendship.  Abbie was there for me when I needed her; the least I can do is return the favor.  I made a few phone calls... contacted some people to see if we can get this case wrapped up quickly.”

“Liv....” Jo growled warningly.

“No one is gonna overstep the local authorities.  I just... I had to do something.”

Jo sighed.  “All right,” she finally said after a moment’s silence, not really surprised.  “Whaddya wanna do now?  Liv, Alex’s condition is as serious as Abbie’s.  I’m not sure your presence here is gonna be the best thing for her, especially if you haven’t settled things between you.”

“We did... settle things, I mean.  She knows there’s nothing between us and never can be.”

Jo looked at Olivia in disbelief.  “I hope she believes that more than you do, Liv, ‘cause you’re a terrible liar.  However,” holding up a hand before Olivia could refute her words, “unless either of them object to your presence, I don’t see a reason for you not to be here.  C’mon,” she added, standing and waiting for Olivia to do the same, “let’s go upstairs.  They were still sleeping when I came down.  I think the doc is trying to keep them that way for a couple more days.  They want the broken ribs to heal a little more before they let them start moving around much.”

“What about the head injuries?”

Jo shook her head.  “I dunno.  I don’t think they’re serious, but then I haven’t been around for all the reports either.  Most of my day was spent at the station,” she stated as they exited the elevator.  “Blair would know though.  She’s been here since they were moved.”

“Blair would know what, Sweetheart?  Hi, Olivia,” wrapping her arms around Jo’s waist and laying her head on her shoulder.   Jo subtly kneaded the knots from Blair’s neck, smiling when Blair slumped into her a little more.  “God, that feels wonderful.  You still have magic hands, Joey.”

Jo brushed a kiss over blonde hair.  “You all right?”

“Just a little tired... been a long twenty-four hours.  Now,” pulling back just slightly so she could look between Jo and Liv, “what would I know?”

“What’s the status on their head injuries?”

“The doctors seem to think they are minor... relatively speaking, but we won’t know for sure until they are brought out of their comas.”

“And that will be...?”

“The next day or two at the latest.  The idea is to give the ribs a chance to set.”

“Where is Geraldine?” Liv asked abruptly.

“She spent the morning here so I sent her back to the hotel to rest.  Do you need her?”

Liv shook her head.  “No... I was just curious.  What do the police know?” turning to Jo.

“Not much more than we did earlier.  They know what gang was involved so it’s a matter of finding those involved.”

“Do they have a reason?  Was it a gay bashing?”

“Sort of - it was a crime of both opportunity and hatred.  Alex and Abbie weren’t specific targets.  They were just gonna heist the car at first, but once those kids recognized them, it became a definite hate crime.  Now who did you talk to and what is going on?”

“I just talked to a contact I have at the FBI... asked them to look into things.”

“Liv....”

“I had to do something, Jo!  That was the best I could manage under the circumstances, especially if I wanna keep being a cop.  I also called a newspaper acquaintance to see if I could get an intro to the reporter who wrote the story in the first place.”

“Because...?”

“Because... because I don’t know.  I just need to talk to them... find out what the hell they were thinking running a story like that here.  It’s already had consequences, and that’s without even considering the political implications.”

“Abbie’s boss has already taken care of that,” Blair commented, passing the day’s newspaper to Olivia.  Liv read through the article and nodded her head.

“Will you excuse me for a minute?  I need to make a phone call.”

“We’ll be in Alex’s and Abbie’s room - five twenty-one.  Come find us when you’re done.”  Olivia nodded again and headed back downstairs.  Blair and Jo exchanged glances before walking in the opposite direction.

“Still in denial, huh?”

“It ain’t just a river in Egypt, Princess.”

************

Her phone rang before she could make her call.  “Benson.”

“Ah... Olivia.  Kurt Moss here.  I just wanted to let you know that you have an appointment with the reporter that ran that story at two tomorrow afternoon.  She will meet you at the Paradise Cafe near the newspaper office.  And you and I have a reservation at The Four Seasons at eight o’clock Friday night.”

“Wonderful,” her voice unmistakably flat.

“I’m sensing a distinct lack of enthusiasm, Olivia.”

“Mr. Moss, don’t take this the wrong way, but you really shouldn’t have gone to such expense.  I’m going out with you Friday because it was a condition of you contacting the reporter for me.  I’ve already told you nothing is going to come of this.”

“You’re not even willing to give it a chance?”

Olivia thought of the blonde woman who was currently unconscious in room five twenty-one.  “Mr. Moss... Kurt, even if you weren’t a reporter, there wouldn’t be a chance,” tacitly admitting something to him that she had yet to acknowledge to anyone but herself in the darkest hours of the night.

He blew out a surprised breath.  “I’d still like a chance to change your mind about journalists.”

“We had a deal.  I’ll meet you in front of The Four Seasons just before eight Friday night.”

“Thank you, Olivia.  I’m looking forward to it.”

“See you Friday.”  She hung up the phone without another word and blew her bangs from her face in frustration.  Then she headed down to room five twenty-one.

Jo and Blair were standing outside the room and Olivia cocked her head as she joined them.  “What’s up?”

“Doc’s in the room checking them out,” Jo said even as the doctor stepped from the room.  She turned to him.  “What’s the word?”  He looked at Olivia pointedly and Jo introduced them.  “Doctor Yasmin, meet Detective Olivia Benson, NYPD SVU.”

“Are you here in an official capacity, Detective or a personal one?”

“Personal,” she replied and left it at that.  He eyeballed her for a long minute and then nodded his head in approval.

“All right.  I’m pretty pleased with how things look.  Their vital signs have remained stable and if it continues, Wednesday morning I’m going to remove the drugs keeping them out and allow them to wake up.  They will be in quite a bit of pain, but I am confident they will recover with no lingering side effects.”

“Other than the mental ones,” Liv muttered.  Yasmin looked directly at her.

“We’ll do our best to repair that damage as well, but we can’t do anything else until their bodies are a little more healed.  For now I’d suggest that you all go back to your hotel rooms and get some rest.  There isn’t anything else you can do here.”

“I’d like to stay,” Olivia cut in.  “I’d feel better not leaving them alone.”  Jo and Blair exchanged knowing glances.  The doctor just shrugged.

“It can’t hurt anything.  Talk to them; read to them; let them know someone who cares about their wellbeing is with them.  Not constantly but often.  That should help speed their healing.”

Liv nodded.  “I can do that.”

“Good.”  He extended his hand to her.  “Nice to meet you, Detective.”  He did the same with Jo and Blair.  “I’ll see you ladies in the morning.”  Then he pivoted and headed towards the nurse’s station.  Jo and Blair turned and fixed their gazes on Olivia who bore them stoically.

“What?” she asked after an awkward silence, knowing full well what.  Blair laid her hand on Jo’s arm and without another word left them alone.  Liv arched an eyebrow.  “What was that all about?”

“Are you sure about this, Liv?  You don’t have to stay here.”

“Yeah, I do.  I can’t do anything else, but I can do this.”

“You’re gonna have to face her eventually.”

“Been there, done that,” Olivia muttered.

“Maybe,” Jo conceded.  “But sooner or later you’re gonna have to be honest about it - with yourself and her.  Do you have what you need to stay overnight?” continuing before Olivia could argue either point.  “Or do I need to bring you some stuff back from the hotel?”

“I’ve got what I need for now,” hefting her backpack.  “I need to call Casey and let her know what’s going on.”

“All right.  You know how to reach us if anything comes up.”  Liv nodded and Jo headed down the hall towards the waiting area where Blair was.  Olivia watched her disappear around the corner before entering Alex’s and Abbie’s room. 

“She going to be all right?” Blair asked Jo as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.

“Yeah.  I think she will.”  Then they headed out of the hospital and back to their hotel.

************

The room was dim, but Olivia could clearly see both Alex’s and Abbie’s still forms on the beds.  The machines they were hooked up to monitored them quietly with beeps and hums and made an interesting counterpoint to the otherwise silent room.  She looked at them for a long moment, then pulled her cell phone from her pocket.  She knew she should go downstairs, but now that she was here....  She dialed a familiar number and waited for Casey to answer.

“Novak.”

“Benson.”

“Hey, Olivia.  What’s the word?”  Liv relayed the doctor’s report word for word and heard Casey sigh in relief.  “That sounds promising anyway.  I’m waiting on a verdict from the Bristol case and then I’ll be down.  The jury starts deliberations tomorrow; I’m hoping they’ll be quick.  My mom already has my room ready for me.”

Olivia grinned.  “You ready for that?”

“Probably not, but I’ll live with it.  How are you?”

“Doing all right.  I have to head back to Manhattan Friday to take care of some business, but I’ll be here until then.”

“Good... keep your fingers crossed I’ll be there sooner instead of later.”

Liv chuckled.  “You’ve got it bad, Novak.”

“And you don’t?  Gotta run.  I’ve got a few more things to wrap up before I can leave regardless of when the jury comes back.  Thanks for the call though.”

“Night Casey.

“Later, Olivia.”

Olivia turned her attention back to the two women in the room, forcing Casey’s question from her mind.  Some things just didn’t bear thinking about.  She talked to them a while - together as well as separately, confident Alex would never remember her presence there.  Then she decided to draw a bit, explaining what she was working on while she drew as if they could comment.  She got up and paced and talked some more - always about impersonal things or things she could share with both of them.  And so the night went - bouts of silence in between conversations.  As the sun peeked over the horizon, Liv stood looking out the window.  The night nurse came in to check their vitals one more time before shift change.  She exchanged smiles with Olivia. 

“You did a good thing here, Detective.  It’ll make a difference - you’ll see.”

“You think so?”

“It already has.  Their vital signs are stronger.”  She adjusted IV’s and kept speaking.  “When are your other friends due in?”

“Not this early - probably another couple hours.”  The nurse nodded.

“Will we see you tonight?”

“Yeah, I think so.  Can’t hurt anything, right?”

“Exactly,” the nurse said with a smile.  “So I’ll see you tonight.  Have a good day, Detective.”

“You too.”  Then Liv was left alone until Blair arrived two hours later. 

“Go get some sleep, Olivia,” Blair instructed.  “Geraldine is waiting at the hotel to make sure you get some breakfast and Jo is already at the police station.  She promised to let you know if anything develops.”

“Maybe I should....”

“Maybe you should just go get some sleep,” with a look that would have melted steel.  Liv held her look for a moment before shrugging, implicitly acknowledging her need for rest.

“Jo doesn’t get away with much with you, does she?”  Blair just grinned.

************

Olivia dropped her backpack just inside the door of her room and stepped towards the bed.  A knock on her door reminded her of Blair’s words and she opened it to find Geraldine standing on the other side with a tray in her hands.  She arched an eyebrow in Olivia’s direction and Liv smiled shyly as she opened the door wider to allow Geraldine to cross into her room.

“Ms Warner asked me to make sure you got something to eat... and to make sure you actually ate it.”

“She didn’t trust me?”

“I believe she was concerned you would be too tired to eat.”  She watched Olivia surreptitiously rub her eyes.  “I think she was right to be worried.  Come... sit down and eat while it’s hot.”

“Why are you doing this? I mean, I know Blair asked you to, but you don’t owe her or me anything,” Liv said as she slumped into a chair and took the coffee cup Gerry offered her.  She inhaled the aroma greedily before take a large sip.  “God, that’s wonderful,” she commented, garnering a big smile from Geraldine.

“Thank you,” Gerry said.  “I had to push a few people out of the way to make that.  Glad that it’s appreciated.”

Liv took a little larger swallow.  “You don’t know how much.”  Then they fell silent while Olivia methodically decimated the food Geraldine had prepared.  Gerry refilled Liv’s cup and poured one for herself and sat back.  When Olivia’s eating slowed significantly, she cleared her throat.

“May I ask you a question, Olivia?”  She waited for the nod, noting the wary expression that glanced out at her from dark eyes.  “Why are you here?”  Liv blinked, not having expected such forthrightness.  Geraldine watched the myriad of emotions play over Olivia’s face and she patted the arm the held the coffee frozen halfway to her lips.  “You don’t need to answer me, Detective.  But I won’t have you playing with Alexandra’s affections.  So if you’re not here because you’ve decided to acknowledge what you truly feel for her, then you need leave before she wakes up.”

“You think I would hurt her?”

“I think you already have, Olivia.  Perhaps not maliciously,” giving the detective the benefit of the doubt, “but you did hurt her with your rejection nevertheless.”

“What was I supposed to do??” leaning forward and capturing Geraldine’s eyes with the intensity in her own.  “She all but destroyed me when she left - not once... not twice... but three times.  Do you know what it feels like to have someone who was becoming vital to you despite everything yanked out of your life?  Alive but unattainable?  To have them come back and tell you they’ve moved on?  To have her come home to stay and completely ignore your existence??  Like your friendship was meaningless???”

Geraldine gaped at Olivia, having never heard such passion from the detective before.  Suddenly she understood so much more and in many ways she couldn’t fault Olivia for her attitude.  She had obviously suffered a great deal in silence and Gerry had to wonder what other hidden depths remained untouched because Detective Olivia Benson refused to allow anyone access to the deepest parts of herself.

“You love her,” she stated with conviction in her tone.  “Despite everything you still love her.”  She watched the mask come down and settle firmly over Liv’s expressive features, shutting out everything but the exhaustion she couldn’t manage to hide.  Gerry reached out and covered Liv’s hand, feeling the flinch but refusing to remove the touch.  “I’m sorry, Olivia – it’s really not my place.  I just didn’t realize....”  She cleared her throat.  “Come,” rising and beckoning Olivia to do the same.  “You go get ready for bed and I’ll pull down the covers.”

“You planning to tuck me in?” Liv asked, all the fire drained out of her.

“I think you could probably do with a bit of pampering.  Now go on.  I’ll be here when you get back.”  And strangely that thought comforted Olivia and she headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

“I haven’t had someone tuck me into bed since I was a very small girl,” Liv commented drowsily as Geraldine pulled the covers up to her chin.

“I’m glad I could do it then,” Gerry commented as she brushed a lock of hair from Liv’s face.  “Now get some rest, Olivia.  I’ll wake you in time to make your appointment.”

But Olivia didn’t hear her.  She was already sound asleep.

************

“Liv... hey, Liv... wake up!”

Olivia’s eyes snapped awake and she stared at Jo completely disoriented for a long moment before sitting up and trying to blink her eyes awake.  “Jo?  What is it?  Has something happened...?” not sure the best way to finish her question.  A glance at the clock showed she had been asleep for a little more than four hours and she yawned widely, trying to get her bearings.

“Yeah, but not the way you think,” Jo added quickly seeing the panic well up in Liv’s eyes before she could get a handle on it.  “We caught the gang members who assaulted Alex and Abbie.  Seems the sheriff’s department got an anonymous tip on where to find them - apparently they’ve been on both the DEA’s and the ATF’s radar for a while now.  I thought you might like to be in the box when they get questioned.”

“You know damn well I would.  Give me five minutes to take a shower to wake up and another five to get dressed.”

“Do what you need to.  The Lieutenant said he’d wait for us.  I told him you sat with them last night.”

Liv was already in the bathroom with the water running.  The day was definitely starting out with a bang.

************

“So why’d ya do it?” Jo asked the perp sitting across the table from her.  She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the tattooed punk glaring at her.  She leaned down into his personal space.  “Don’t even bother, asswipe.  I have worse than you for breakfast.”

He leered at her and grabbed at his crotch.  “I gots ya breakfast right here, Baby.”  In the box, Liv and the lieutenant flinched at the crack his head made when his face hit the table.

“Do that again and I’ll remove ‘em and serve ‘em to ya raw.  You got me?”  The perp nodded and Jo released his ear.  “Now I’m gonna ask you again - why’d ya do it?”

“Why not??  Damned dykes don’t need that kinda ride.  Hell, they don’t needs ta be breathin’.”  He saw the fury flare in her eyes again and sat back away from her as far as he could get.  “Look... we jus’ wanted de car.”

“Yeah, but ya didn’t stop there, didja?”

“Couldn’t let them abominations keep walkin’ around decent peoples now, could we?  We done a civic service.  Damn Marines kept us from finishing the job.  Them dykes needed to learn their place.”

“Your civic service is gonna cost you some serious jail time.  You really should learn how to read.  The article that went with the picture?  It woulda told you that the two women you attacked are respected members of the bar - one with the US Attorney’s office here in DC and one with the DA’s office in Manhattan.”  Jo grinned maliciously as she watched the blood drain from the punk’s face.  “Sucks to be you, huh?”

The lieutenant turned to Olivia.  “She always this intense?”

Liv smirked.  “Pretty much, yeah.  And this is personal.”

“Glad you’re on our side,” he commented to Jo as she entered the box.

“He’s writing out a statement now.  I think we can make them all turn on each other.”  Liv looked at her watch.

“I’ve got an appointment.  Keep me informed?”

“You need a ride?” reminding Liv that they’d ridden in together.

“Shit,” Olivia muttered.  “Yeah... you mind?”

“Go on,” the lieutenant nodded them out of the box.  “We’ve got this, and I’ll keep you advised of any progress we make, though after that interrogation, I’m thinking it won’t be too difficult to get confessions out of the rest of them.”

“Thanks Eli.”  Jo and Liv exchanged a glance, then headed out of the station house.  It was time to meet the press.

************

Sam McPherson sat at an outdoor table at the Paradise Cafe.  It was a popular spot with her colleagues, though she’d never taken the time to eat there.  As an intern and lowest man on the totem pole at the Times, she rarely had the luxury of time and money together.  The only reason she was here now was because she’d been directed by her boss and given a company credit card.  Apparently her story had pissed off some fairly high level people and now it was up to her to smooth ruffled feathers.  Damn, I wish Brooke was here, thinking of her law school girlfriend.  She’d laugh at me for getting myself into this mess, but she’d make sure....  Her thinking was brought to a sudden halt as two striking dark-haired women stopped at the hostess stand before being directed her way.

Sam rose from her chair and waited for them to approach her.  “Sam McPherson?” the green-eyed detective asked, offering her hand.

“Yes... Detective Benson?”

“No.  I’m Detective Jo Polniaczek.  This is Detective Olivia Benson.”  Sam shook hands with both of them and offered them a seat.

“What can I do for you, Detectives?  All I was told was that I was to meet a Detective Benson for lunch because of the Embassy story I wrote.”

Jo and Liv exchanged glances that clearly showed their disdain for bureaucracy.  Then Liv focused her attention on Sam.  “How did a kid like you manage to cause a mess like this?”  Sam’s eyes grew stormy in anger, but she held her tongue, not eager to argue with this woman before she had the whole story.  She didn’t think her editor would appreciate a public argument with a police detective about this no matter their jurisdiction.  And despite the words Olivia’s tone was not condescending, merely exhausted.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Detective.  I’m just a lowly intern; I got stuck with the Embassy gig because no one else wanted it.”

“Who took the picture?”

The waitress chose that moment to come over and take their order.  “It was Emily Masters,” Sam replied after the woman left.  “She’s fairly new at the Times as well.  Look,” she continued impatiently, “can I ask what this is all about?  All I did was my job.”

“Your job got a couple of prominent female attorneys assaulted pretty good.  Some punk gang saw that picture of them together and decided to rid the world of a couple worthless dykes.”  Olivia didn’t raise her voice, but the fierceness of her eyes drove the point home thoroughly.  Sam’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t... I had no idea.  Are they... will they be all right?”

“They’re recovering,” Jo broke in calmly.  Sam nodded, her mind working feverishly.

“Let me talk to my editor.  I can’t fix what happened, but I should be able to turn this into something positive.”

“Your editor issued a statement.”

Sam blinked, then shook her head.  “That’s not what I meant.”  Her gaze went inward for a moment.  “Let me think about this and talk to my editor.  I can’t do anything about what happened but I might be able to make it count for something.”  She looked up as their waitress returned with their drinks and was surprised by the animosity shining out of Olivia’s dark eyes.  “Detective?”

“Whose benefit...?” She sat back when Jo called her name softly, then scrubbed her hand through her hair.  “Sorry,” she muttered, taking a long moment before meeting Sam’s eyes.  “Journalists don’t set well with me.”

“Someone screwed you or a case by using you as an illicit source?” Sam asked intuitively.  “Detective Benson, let me assure you that I would never betray the trust put in me by a member of the bar or law enforcement.  Even if my personal integrity would allow it, my Harvard Law School girlfriend would never speak to me again if I did.  When she hears that this story caused two well-known female prosecuting attorneys to become victims of a hate crime, the first thing she’s going to want to know is what I’m doing to rectify the situation.”

“Sounds like a tough girlfriend,” Jo commented with a smile.

“Sounds like several women we know actually,” Olivia said with a small smirk.  Jo laughed.

“True.”  She looked at Sam.  “Let us know if you need any help.  We’ve got the gang bangers who did it in custody and the doc is supposed to wake Alex and Abbie up tomorrow.”

“I appreciate it.”  The waitress set their food in front of them and for a few minutes they were quiet as they ate.  When the first pangs of hunger were settled, Sam wiped her mouth.  “I’ll make sure you get a copy of the story before my editor does.  Fair enough?”

“Fair enough,” Liv nodded.

“So can I ask some questions?  Everything stays between us until or unless you release the information and I won’t name either of you.”  Jo and Liv traded stares then tacitly agreed.  Sam whipped out her ever present notebook and they started to work.

************

Liv was glad the doctor was keeping Alex and Abbie unconscious when she got to the hospital later that evening.  Her time with Sam McPherson had been reassuring in a way she hadn’t expected it to be.  Despite Sam’s status as a reporter, Olivia had a good feeling about her - more than she ever had about Kurt Moss or Nick Ganzer even before she’d found out they were reporters.  She was looking forward to meeting the law school girlfriend.  She had the distinct feeling that despite their obvious youth Sam and Brooke would make good friends.  And she knew Jo felt the same.  Now she walked into the hospital room, greeting Jo and Blair quietly.  “How are they?” she asked.

“Better,” Blair replied.  “The doctor believes they will definitely be ready to wake up in the morning, despite the pain they will be in.  If things go well, we should be able to take them home for the weekend... Monday at the latest.”

Olivia nodded.  “I talked to Casey earlier.  The jury is still in deliberations, but she’s hoping that they come back with a verdict tomorrow.  She said as soon as they do, she’ll be down.  She’s gonna be staying with her parents.”

“What about you, Liv?  You still have another week’s suspension.”

“Yeah, but I have to be in Manhattan Friday.  So I’m gonna take off out of here Thursday morning.”

“Can I get a ride?” Jo asked.  “Blair can stay a little longer, but I need to get back to work.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah... we’re not happy about being separated, but it’s necessary.  I have to be in Manhattan to do my job while Blair can bring hers with her if need be.”

“Besides, I’m only going to stay long enough to see them safely settled at Abbie’s with Geraldine.  We can come back on the weekends.  But I don’t think that hovering is going to help them recover and too many of us here will seem that way.”

“Sure,” Liv agreed.  “That’s probably a good idea, actually.  Then I can get a short nap before I need to drive.”

“All right... you got everything you need before we leave?”

Olivia hefted her backpack.  “Yep.”  Jo and Blair nodded and headed out.

The night passed slowly with Olivia reading and talking to them in turn.  She spent a little time drawing, but not as much as she had the night before... not now that she understood the significance of her interaction with them.  When morning came the night nurse came in and brought Liv a cup of real coffee that she accepted with something akin to relief.  “How’d you know?” she asked as she took her first satisfying sip.  The nurse smiled.

“We’ve all been there, Honey.  Most patients don’t have someone that is willing to do this for them and we try to take care of those that do.  Will you be in tonight as well?”

Olivia nodded.  “Yes, then I have to head back to Manhattan.  Duty calls,” not willing to go into what duty that was.

“Shame that, but I know your being here has made a difference to them.  I hope things work out.  I’ll make sure Jeannie knows about you when she comes on tonight.  I’m off for the next few days.”

“Thanks for your help,” Liv said graciously.  “And for the coffee.”

The nurse nodded.  “Anytime, Honey.  Good luck.”

The nurse departed and Olivia was left alone until Blair arrived some time later.  “Good morning, Olivia.  How was your night?”

“Productive, I think,” Liv replied.  “The nurses believe it helped.”  She shrugged.  “Guess we’ll see.”

“I think it did too,” Blair said, patting her arm.  “Now Geraldine is waiting for you.  Do you want me to call you when the doctor wakes them... let you know how they’re doing?”  Olivia hesitated long enough for Blair to notice.  “Nevermind... you need the rest,” noting the exhaustion in Liv’s eyes.  “I’ll let Jo know and she can give you a report when you wake up.”

“Where’s Jo?” Liv asked as she picked up her backpack.  Blair rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile.

“At the police station.  She wants to make sure everything is wrapped up nicely before she heads back to the City.  Apparently the lieutenant is very understanding,” growling the last.

Liv wisely kept her mouth shut and shouldered her pack.  “I’m gonna go get some sleep.  Call me if....”

“You know I will.  Go on - Geraldine is waiting.  We’ll be here when you get up, and with any luck, Alex and Abbie will be awake too.”

Olivia didn’t answer.  She simply slipped out the door and headed to the hotel.

************

The doctors eased Alex and Abbie from their comas and almost immediately they fell into a deep, healing natural sleep. 

“It’s not surprising,” Dr. Yasmin assured Blair.  “They still have a bit of healing to do and it’s going to take a lot of their body’s effort to do it.  They’re going to need sleep.”

“Will they be awake at all?”

“Oh yes - for longer and longer periods as the days go by.  But they will sleep most of the next few days.  That is one reason I said it might be Monday before we release them.  I want them to be awake and be assured that they are healing well and aware of things before I let them go home to recover.  Even with someone to look out for them, it’s not the same thing as having trained medical personnel on call if they are needed.”

“So now we wait?”

“Now we wait. But I’ll be honest - I think having all of you here has made quite a difference for them.”

Blair smiled.  “I’m glad.  They’re both good people.”

“Oh... that reminds me.  Your Marine friends called and asked if they could visit once Ms Carmichael and Ms Cabot were awake.  The nurse has their number at the desk.  And a Sam McPherson called and asked if she could speak to them as well.  She said she had spoken to the detectives...?” trailing his words off into a question.  Blair nodded.

“She did.  I’ll take care of things.  Thank you, Dr. Yasmin.”

“It’s been my pleasure, Ms Warner... considering the circumstances.  I’ll be around to check on things throughout the day and the nurses have instructions to notify me as soon as they are awake.  So I will be seeing you later.”

“I hope so,” Blair replied.  Then the doctor left and Blair turned her attention to her friends.

************

“So they’ve each woken up briefly on their own a couple times already,” Blair explained to Olivia when she arrived for her night shift duties.  “But it hasn’t lasted very long and the doctor expects them to sleep most of the next couple days as well.  The nurses will be in to wake them up every few hours.”  She rolled her eyes in Liv’s direction, watching the wry smile flit over Liv’s face.  “You know how it is.”

“Unfortunately yes,” thinking of the few times she’d been stuck in a hospital bed overnight.

“Just keep doing whatever it is you’ve been doing.  The doctor seems pleased with their progress and is contributing at least part of it to us.”

“Casey’s headed down.  She called about half an hour ago.  She got her guilty verdict and left straight from the courthouse.  If she comes here, I’m just gonna direct her to the hotel tonight.  You can figure everything else out tomorrow.”

“Yeah... send her on.  One of us will let her into your room.  Hey, you want me to wait at the hotel for you or hitch a ride with Blair in the morning?” Jo asked, speaking for the first time.

“Wait - I’d like a shower.  And Geraldine makes a kick ass breakfast.”

“True.  At least we can head back knowing the gang bangers are all in jail now.”

“Hope they stay there.”

“They will.  Too many mucky mucks are interested in this case now.  Have a good night, Liv.”

“Night guys.”

Olivia set her stuff down, then crossed to Abbie’s bed first, noting thankfully that she was asleep.  “Damn, Carmichael,” she whispered.  “Didn’t anyone teach you how to duck and cover?”  She pushed a lock of dark hair off Abbie’s forehead.  “They caught the little punks that did this to you and I’ve heard your boss will be sitting second chair to the Richmond DA to ensure the jury knows just how serious this case is.  I didn’t get to kick any ass this time, but Jo knocked a few heads together.  Oh... and make sure you give Sam a chance when she comes to talk to you, all right?  She seems like a good kid and she’d got a Harvard law school girlfriend.”

“Do wha’ I c’n,” Abbie murmured as her eyes briefly flittered open.  “Damn I hurt.”

Liv leaned forward and kissed her forehead, the motion forcing Abbie’s eyes closed instinctively.  “I bet.  You took quite a beating.  Go back to sleep, Carmichael.  I’ll be keeping watch all night.”

“Feel bett’r aw-ready,” the last word dropping off as her breathing deepened in sleep.

Olivia watched her for a moment longer and she cupped Abbie’s face tenderly before pulling the cover up over her more securely and moving away from the bed.  She looked at Alex and sighed, then crossed to sit on the edge of her bed.

For long moments Liv sat there, looking at Alex Cabot, reliving the feelings she’d once felt on a New York City sidewalk as she’d tried to keep Alex from bleeding out in front of her.  She took a deep shuddering breath, looking down at her hands and seeing them covered in blood once more.  A tentative touch made her look up into clear blue eyes and she squeezed her brown eyes closed for a moment before forcing herself to meet Alex’s gaze.

“You came,” Alex said with wonderment.

“I wouldn’t for all the world have had something like this happen to you, Alex... not to either of you.  I’m sorry.”

“I’m not; you came.  Despite everything you said, despite everything I did... you came.”

“Alex....” shaking her dark head warningly, not wanting Alex to read more into the gesture than Olivia was able to give.

Blue eyes fluttered as exhaustion and discomfort caught up with Alex once more.  The clarity she’d been granted from the adrenaline rush of finding Olivia sitting beside her faded and she closed her eyes against her own volition.  The hand that still covered Olivia’s clasped hands twitched slightly.  “Stay,” she whispered even as her breathing evened out and deepened in sleep once more.

Liv closed her eyes in resignation and held on until she heard a light tapping at the door.  Then she eased her hand from Alex’s grip and went to find Casey standing in the hallway.  She beckoned her in, only then realizing how long she’d been sitting with Alex, holding her hand.

“How are they?” Casey asked quietly, looking closely but not approaching either bed.

“Better.  They’ve both woken up on their own a few times and the nurse is due in shortly to do that whole check-up routine they are famous for when you’re trying to sleep in a hospital.  Blair said for me to send you to the hotel tonight so you can get some rest.  It’s close.  Tomorrow you guys can figure out what’s going on.  Jo and I are headed back to Manhattan in the morning and I think Blair is going to return as soon as she can get them and Geraldine settled in Abbie’s place for now.”

“Makes sense.  I’ve got leave for as long as I need it, but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“That’s what Blair figured - said they’d come down on weekends although I don’t think that’ll last long either.”

“You don’t think they’ll keep it up?”

“I don’t think Abbie will let them.  She doesn’t do invalid very well.”

“I can’t imagine Alex does either,” noting the look of despair that passed through Olivia’s eyes.  “So tell me where I’m headed so I can get out of your hair.  That way I can come back in the morning and see them when they’re awake.”

Liv gave Casey the directions she needed, then watched as Casey casually crossed to the beds and dusted a kiss across each woman’s cheek before taking her leave.  Then the nurse came in to wake them and Olivia stepped from the room until she was done.

************

By the time Blair and Casey arrived the following morning, Liv was exhausted and glad for the excuse to leave.  The other two women watched her flee before turning to one another. 

“She’s got it bad,” Blair commented sotto voce so only Casey could hear her words.

“Oh yeah... I just hope she figures it out soon.”

“Oh Honey... she knows.  Denial ain’t just a river.”

“I know.  But what a cluster this could wind up being before all is said and done if she doesn’t move out of Egypt soon.”

Blair chuckled, causing Casey to join her.  “I can see we’re going to be friends, Casey Novak.”

“I’d like that, Blair.  Now should we go sit with our other friends?  See if we can encourage them to get out of this place sooner rather than later.”

“Definitely an idea I can get behind,” Blair agreed and they headed into the hospital room side by side.

************

The guys cheered when Liv walked into the precinct and she took a bow before Cragen stepped out of his office and waved them all back to work.  He beckoned Olivia into his office and she clapped Elliot on the shoulder before she followed the captain into his office and closed the door.  He motioned her to a seat.

“What brings you to the one-six, Detective?  You still have another week’s suspension.”

“I’m just back from Virginia - thought the guys might be interested in a report on Alex and Abbie.”

“Besides, you’ve missed being here,” Cragen stated without inflection.  Liv ducked her head and shrugged, peering up at him from beneath dark lashes.  “So how are the illustrious counselors?” he asked.

“Better... I spoke to them both briefly last night.  And the doctor is hoping to release them from the hospital by Monday at the latest.”

Cragen nodded.  “Go share your news, but don’t keep them too long.  Technically, you’re not even supposed to be here.”

“Thanks, Cap.”

************

“So you left Alex and Abbie in the hospital to come back to Manhattan for a date with a newspaper guy?” Elliot asked around his bite of hotdog.  Liv had shared her news, then Stabler had invited her to lunch.  Now they stood on a street corner chowing down on dirty water dogs and soda.  His words made Liv choke, and he grinned before slapping her on the back.

“What makes you say that?” she asked when she’d recovered enough breath to speak.

Elliot rolled his eyes at her before shaking his head.  “Hello... earth to Benson.  Detective here, remember?  You think you’ve been fooling any of us?  You met Kurt Moss at a charity event some months ago and went on several dates before he told you he was an editor for the New York Ledger.  You broke things off with him, but still keep in touch for whatever insane reason although the recent IAB investigation really curtailed that after he refused to name his source.  You have a date with him somewhere nice tomorrow night.  How’m I doing so far?”

“You suck,” she grumbled.  Then she looked at him from the corner of her eye.  “How’d you know?”

Stabler laughed.  “It wasn’t hard - Kath and I were at the same charity event, remember?  I had his name and number the next day.”

“And the rest?”

“De-tec-tive,” he enunciated slowly with a grin.  “Why would I tell you?  I’ve got an edge here, Partner.  What’s it worth to ya?”

Now Olivia glared at him.  “I hate you so much.”

Elliot laughed again and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  “That’s okay... we love you anyway.”  She yawned and leaned her head against his shoulder briefly.  “Rough night?” he asked when she straightened.

She shrugged.  “Rough week.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“Elllllllll....”

“Liiiiiiiiiiiv...  C’mon, Liv, whaddya got to lose?  You know how she feels; she told you.”

“And I turned her down, Elliot... hard.  I can’t just change my mind because she got hurt.  That’s just too romance novel cheesy.”

“Who said anything about changing your mind, Liv?  Just be honest with her - she’ll understand.  The two of you always understood even when you were fighting.”  He snorted.  “Especially when you were fighting.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shook his head.  She was being deliberately obtuse and when Olivia Benson got stubborn about something there was simply no talking to her.  “Hey,” he said, changing the subject.  “Are you staying in town after this date or you going back to that lovely cabin retreat?”

“I’ve gotta go back to pick up the rest of my stuff, but I don’t have to stay there.  Why?”

He frowned.  “Kathy’s been having some Braxton-Hicks contractions the last couple days.  I was wondering if you’d mind keeping an eye on her.  I’d feel better....”

“Sure,” Liv agreed.  “Does she know?”

“About the contractions?” ducking her swipe at his head.  “Actually she’s the one who brought it up.  She thinks it may be for real sooner rather than later, and after four kids I trust her instincts about this stuff.  We’d both feel better if you were close by and since you could get to her on a moment’s notice faster than I could this next week....”

“I can do that,” Olivia agreed, yawning again.  “No problem.  But first I need a nap.  She has my numbers, right?”

“Yeah... thanks, Liv.”

“Just remember you owe me, Partner,” she said with a smile and a wave as she turned her steps towards home.

************

“Novak.”

“Benson.”

“Hey, Olivia... what’s up?  Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I took a nap; I can sleep tonight.  How’re things there?”

Casey exchanged a look with Blair whose brow went up in question.  She smiled and shook her head, holding up her hand.  “Things are fine.  Abbie and Alex have both been awake for several hours and they actually ate... well, I wouldn’t call it real food, but it was more than IV fluid at least.”

“Good.”  Silence.

“Anything else?”

“What?  Oh... no.  I guess not.  I just wanted to see how things were.  Any word on when they’ll be able to leave the hospital?”

“Well, the doctor’s pleased, but a lot depends on how they’re feeling tomorrow.”

“I wanna go home,” Abbie whined in the background.  “Benson, come back and spring me.”

Liv chuckled and Casey laughed in sympathy.  “You want to talk to... anyone?

“No, I’m good.  I need to go - things to do.  I just wanted to check on... everyone.”

“We’re fine.”

“Good, good.  All right; let me go so I can take care of a few things.  Kathy’s been having false labor and El’s asked me to keep an eye on her in case they become the real thing.  Call me if anything changes... or... anything.”

“I can do that.  And keep me posted on Kathy.”

“Will do.  Bye, Casey.”

Casey closed up her phone and Blair looked at her expectantly.  Casey just shrugged and Blair sighed.  They looked at Alex whose eyes remained closed and wondered how much she’d heard.  Surely something had to give between the two of them soon.

************

“You look lovely, my dear,” Kurt Moss said in greeting as Olivia approached him.  She held out her hand and he accepted it, attempting to pull her closer until she clenched her hand tight enough to make him wince in reaction.  “Well then,” he continued after recovering his aching hand.  “Shall we go in?”  The door opened magically and Olivia preceded him into the restaurant.  The maîtres’ d escorted them to one of the back tables - not the worst in the restaurant but certainly not the best either.  Moss waited until Olivia was seated, then pulled out his own chair and sat down.  “This is nice,” he commented, placing his napkin in his lap.  Olivia looked around casually and nodded.  “So was the discussion with the reporter helpful?”

“Yeah, it was... thanks.”

She didn’t add any more and Kurt felt compelled to break the silence once again.  “John Taggert is an old college buddy.  He’s the reason I was able to get you a chance to talk to the McPherson girl.”

“Please convey my thanks to him then.  She’s a lovely young woman... very bright.”  Silence fell again as they perused their menus.  The waiter approached and they ordered, Moss including a very expensive wine without consulting Liv’s taste.  When the waiter left, it was quiet again and Moss cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“This is a little awkward,” he said as the silence lengthened.  “I expected some sort of conversation... some participation on your part.  I didn’t think I was going to have to carry the entire evening on my own.”

“All right.  What would you like to talk about?” Liv asked with a tilt of her head.  He looked at her askance and she sighed.  “Kurt... I warned you when you set this up that it was strictly business for me now - a payback for your help in getting me a chance to talk to Sam McPherson.”

“What happened to us, Olivia?  When we met it was so different.  I thought we were at the start of something wonderful.  Does my being a newspaper man bother you that much?”

“Frankly, yes,” Liv replied immediately.  “You’re the enemy.  I’ve been burned by your kind before.”

“But....”

“Let me finish, please,” waiting for him to nod his head.  “You didn’t tell IAB I wasn’t your source until you were pushed into it.  I could have lost my job over it, Kurt.  Do you understand what that would’ve done to me??”  She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and her fraying temper.  “Even if we could manage to build a friendship around the fact that I’m a police detective and you’re a journalist, the fact remains that’s all there could ever be between us.  But you kept pushing for more.”  She glared at him.  “I don’t like to be pushed by anyone.”

“There’s someone else,” he said flatly.  She gazed at him a long moment before nodding, her eyes never leaving his.  “Even then?”  She nodded again.  “Then why...?” motioning between them.

The waiter interrupted, placing their first course in front of them and pouring the wine for Moss to approve.  When he did so, he filled their glasses and moved away discretely.

“Honestly, I thought there was no chance for me and....”  She trailed off and sighed.  “Besides, you were interesting, and I appreciated having someone see me as something more than an SVU detective.   For the first time in a long time I was just a woman.”

“The man in your life doesn’t see you as a woman?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Apparently,” he said with a snort.  “Look, Olivia... I’d like for us to be friends.  I’m just not sure I could settle for that.  I like you.  I’d like to like you a little more personally.  And obviously this guy you have a thing for doesn’t appreciate you.  I would love the opportunity to appreciate you.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Liv said with finality as she rose.  He scrambled to his feet.  “I can’t give you what you want.  Thank you for dinner, but I think I should go.”

“He really means that much to you.”

“There’s never been anyone else.  Goodbye, Kurt.”

He watched Olivia thread her way through the tables to the door.  Only then did he resume his seat and take a gulp of his wine.  He debated pursuing her, then shrugged.  She was a beautiful woman, kind and caring, but there was definitely something off-putting about her and had been since the moment he’d met her.  Maybe it was time for Kurt Moss to look into other options.

************

“Benson.”

“Olivia, this is Geraldine Bernard.”  Liv pulled her phone from her ear and looked at it askance before replacing it to catch the tail end of Gerry’s words.  “... number from Ms Novak.  Lovely young woman, by the way,” she added in a gossipy tone.  “I think she and Ms Carmichael are an interesting pair.”

“They’re something all right,” Liv agreed in a dry tone.  “What can I do for you, Gerry?”

“Well, I was wondering,” she paused, her embarrassment clear even through the phone.  “I wouldn’t normally do this - I’ve never done anything like this before.  I mean, it’s not my place, and I know my place, Olivia.  I would never presume... if it wasn’t for Alexandra, I mean.  I mean, I would never....”

“Gerry,” Liv broke in exasperatedly.  “Whatever it is, just say it.”

“Oh... well... see the thing is, Ms Carmichael’s mother arrived today.  A lovely woman and any other time and under any other circumstances I think it could prove great fun, you know.  But the fact is, her presence here is making things awkward for everyone... especially Alexandra.”

Olivia’s brow furrowed.  “In what way?  Emma Carmichael is a formidable woman, but she was charming and hospitable to a fault.  At least when I met her - I can’t imagine she’d changed that drastically.”

“Well, let me put it this way.  At the moment, she is blaming Alexandra for the situation she and Ms Carmichael are in and she believes that Alex is toying with Ms Carmichael’s affections.  Not that she has said any of this to Ms Carmichael as of yet, but she did make it clear to Alexandra that she feels Alexandra is solely to blame.”

Liv pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes.  “What did Alex do?”

“Did you know you can yell at someone without raising your voice above a whisper?” Gerry asked.  “I believe the terminology is - she ripped her a new one,” studiously ignoring the snort that followed her declaration.  “Now you can see why we are in a quandary here however.  I cannot allow Alexandra to remain in such a hostile environment.  She doesn’t need the stress of dealing with all this while she is trying to recover.”

“So whaddya want me to do?”

Geraldine cleared her throat awkwardly.  “Do you think you could ask your friend Ms Warner for the use of her private jet to transport us back to the lodge?  I can’t reach Judge Harriman and I believe it’s imperative that we leave here as soon as possible.”

“Let me call her.  I’ll call you right back.” 

“All right.”

“Where are you?”

“We’re still at the hospital.  The doctor is coming in after lunch to release them both.  I’d like to have a way home by then.”

“Give me a few,” Liv said and cut the connection.  A quick call to Blair got her what she needed, including Blair’s assurance that she would be on the plane to ensure things were taken care of quickly.  We take care of our own she promised Liv and Olivia let it go, not sure which ‘own’ Blair was referring to.  Then she decided it didn’t really matter as long as things were taken care of.  Another quick call to Geraldine and everything was set to bring Alex Cabot back from Virginia.

With a sigh, Olivia closed her eyes and leaned back against the window ledge she was sitting on, listening to the sounds of the City around her.  It was so different from what the Warner lodge had been, but in its own way, it was peaceful and soothing.  It was home.

Part 3