Disclaimers: None.  If you’re still reading my stuff at this point, you pretty well know what you’re getting into.  If you don’t have an open mind, why exactly are you still reading this far into the series? However, if you do read it and you find something you think needs disclaiming, you are still more than welcome to let me know.  It won’t change anything, but it may make you feel better.   Ugliness will earn you a smack to the back of your head.

Thanks: To Phil for sticking around to beta read for me.  She’s picked up all kinds of dropped letters because Pink and Fluffy tend to leave a trail of them.  All errors belong strictly to me.

Special Thanks: To the many of you that have taken the time to send your kind words about the Valiant Series thus far.  I greatly appreciate your feedback and your patience in waiting for this installment.  I was actually writing this and Brave New World concurrently, and I appreciate both your patience and your indulgence.

Author’s Note: The Storyteller’s Cardinal Rule has been suspended for the telling of this tale!!!  That’s right – the ending of this story is not a happy every after... yet.  So if you want the happy ever after ending, please wait to read this.  It will happen in the next story - A Valiant Option – which is the final story in the Valiant series.  For now though, consider yourself forewarned.  This does pick up exactly where A Valiant Mind left off.


                                                                    A Valiant Nightmare
                                                                                                            By D


Prologue

Gwen sat on the bed and looked around the room she had come to despise.  She had never liked it here, but now she truly hated it.  It was gaudy and pretentious and so many other things she didn’t want to be or be associated with.  She looked down at the ring that she wore and let her mind travel back to their wedding day when Randi had slipped it on her finger with promises of forever.

“I’m not good with words.  We all know who the bard in this relationship is,” with a smile at Gwen who smiled back through her tears.  “However.”  She drew the ceremonial blade carefully from its sheath across the front of her body then knelt before the bard.  With sabre drawn, she saluted, then extended it hilt first to Gwen.  “All that I am, all that I have is yours.  And I promise you in life and in death I will be with you and love you and take care of you.  You are my life and my soulmate, and I treasure and cherish you above all things.  I will remind you daily of the special place you hold in my heart, my life and my soul.  I love you, Gwenevere Goldman.  Forever.”

Gwen looked around again, knowing the time had finally come for her to leave.  Knowing is was coming hadn’t prepared her for the rending she felt in her very soul, but the path Randi was on didn’t offer them the option of forever... not together, anyway.  Randi needed to be reminded it was her choice.  Gwen rose from the bed and motioned to Tiny who stood patiently waiting with her bag in his hand.  “I need to see Randi before I go,” she said quietly.  He nodded his acceptance.

“I’ll load your bag onto the shuttle and notify Reed of your coming, My Lady.” 

“Tiny, please don’t,” Gwen pleaded.  “I hate that title and this place so much.”

He took a breath, finally understanding a little the scope of her feelings.  “I’m sorry, Gwen, so sorry... sorry it’s come to this.  You both deserve so much better.  “

Gwen shrugged, trying to hide the anguish in her soul with a casual nonchalance.  “We knew it was going to happen, Tiny.  Not that the knowing makes it any easier,” she added, blowing out a tremulous breath. 

“I’ll... I’m going to stay here and, um... look after her.  Make sure Sky can get to her as soon as he arrives.”

Gwen patted his arm.  “Thank you, Tiny.  You have been such a good friend on a very ugly road and....”

He put his larger hand over hers and squeezed gently.  “Shh,” he commanded softly.  “You don’t need to say anything.  I’m glad I could be here for both of you.  Not that I won’t be glad when it is all over,” he added, scratching through his short hair with his free hand.  “Reed’s going to have to give me a hair treatment to hide all the gray I’ve got now,” he said with an attempt at humor.

Gwen smiled faintly, appreciating the effort.  “If it’s any comfort,” noting the white wings clearly visible in his hair above his ears.  “You look very distinguished.”

“Good thing,” he smiled.  “I might have to go bald otherwise.”  They chuckled weakly, knowing they could no longer put off the inevitable.  “I’ll wait for you by the shuttle,” Tiny said.

She nodded her head and waited for him to close the door behind him before she crossed the room and opened the door into their living area.

Randi sat in front of the fireplace, her eyes glued to the flames.  She didn’t look up when the door opened, knowing it could only be one person coming from the direction of the bedchambers.  She was a bit surprised when Gwen came around to stand in front of her with an air of resigned determination clear on her face.  It was so different from the anger she'd seen the day before when the priest had presented them to the people or the love she had seen mere hours ago.  Now she waited patiently, watching with horrified eyes as Gwen lifted both hands and began removing the ring she had worn in so many lifetimes but for such a short time in this one.

“I never thought I would do this Randi,” she said, slipping the platinum band from her finger.  “What we had together.... It doesn’t seem to mean anything to you anymore.”  She held up her hand when Randi opened her lips to speak.  “Let me finish.  I know what this means to me... what it symbolizes for me, for us.  However, I don’t want to hold you to a promise you are no longer capable of keeping.”  She took Randi’s hand in her own and placed the ring in the center of her palm, closing it gently and watching as the fist clenched reflexively around it.  “You decide what it means to you, if anything, and you let me know.”  Gwen kissed the balled fist then slipped from the room without another word.  The door shut with a distinct snick as it closed, and Gwen stood beside it for a long moment regaining her composure.  Dead silence was the only sound she heard.  She squared her shoulders and walked out to the waiting shuttle, tears sliding easily down her face.  She had done her part.  Now it was time to see what path Randi would take.


Chapter I

A rasp of air and the click of a lock in place were the only sounds the door made as it shut then stillness was all that was left in the room, save the occasionally popping from the fireplace.  A flick of a wrist and even that comforting sound disappeared, leaving the tense figure alone in the abrupt silence.  For long moments Randi stood ramrod straight, clenched hands at her side the only testament to the frustration running through her body.  Without warning she brought both fists down on the low table in front of her, watching dispassionately as it splintered.  Then her body sagged in defeat, and she slumped into a chair and stared blindly at the silent flames as the coldness in her soul became unbearable.

When the torment grew to be too much, she brought her clenched fist up into her lap and slowly opened her hand, revealing a ring she’d never expected to hold like this again in this lifetime.  The Soulmate’s Ring. 

The sound of a shuttle preparing for take off interrupted her reverie, and Randi closed her hand protectively over the ring she still held.  Then she rose and turned off the fire completely, moving out the door without a backward glance.  The door closed with definite purpose and the room was left in cold, dark silence.  Randi made her way to the bedroom they had shared together for such a brief time here, finally understanding instinctively that there was no happiness in this house... not then and certainly not now.  Blue eyes stared out the window, tracking Gwen’s progress towards the shuttle.  The grief was almost overwhelming now, and she couldn’t stop the lone tear that slowly, silently rolled down her planed cheek.  She leaned her head against the cold glass, wondering what had gone so wrong that they’d come to this place. The shuttle rose, and she felt her heart break.  Randi couldn’t see the corresponding tears slip from green eyes as Gwen left her behind, and headed for home... alone.  Randi watched the craft fade out of sight and still stood staring absently into the void into which it had disappeared.

“You promised me forever, Gwen,” she muttered fiercely, pounding her fists on the windowpane.  “What happened to forever?”  But there was no answer save the rain as it fell from the heavens and lashed at the window Randi gazed out of sightlessly.  Randi turned from the window to view the room she stood in – alone. She felt her chest begin to crush under the weight of the revelation of what she had held... then lost... forever.

She deliberately turned her back on the room and all it represented.   Still clasping Gwen’s ring in her hand, Randi gave an inarticulate cry, and she ran to the door and yanked it open, not even drawing the attention of guards and staff who had quickly grown used to her late-night rants and rages.  She moved swiftly through the massive, ornate hallways until she reached the door that led to the outside.  The door opened seemingly of its own volition and the sound of the storm increased dramatically.  Randi stepped outside the fortress into the driving rain, hoping it would purge the pain she felt. Wishing she could go back home where the sound of the rain would be accompanied by the crash of waves on the beach. 

She hated it here, she suddenly realized.  Hated who she was and what she had so obviously become.  And she hated the fact that more than anyone who had been enslaved against their will, she was a prisoner incarcerated by her own choices.  “GWEN!!” she screamed into the darkness, knowing there would be no answer, but falling to her knees anyway when silence was the only reply she received.  Randi dropped her chin to her chest, too tired and drained to cry.

Randi looked up as lightning struck close enough to make her hair stand on end and wondered just how long she had been sitting in the rain getting thoroughly soaked.  The rain continued to fall in her face and it forced her eyes closed again.

A hand on her shoulder caused her eyes to open, and she looked up into Tiny’s grim face.  Randi understood for the first time just what this had cost not only her and Gwen but everyone.  The two Sabres looked at one another for a long moment before Tiny extended his hand.  “C’mon, Empress.  You need to get back inside before you catch your death.”

Randi shuddered at the title and gazed at him with sad blue eyes.  “Please don’t call me that,” she whispered before accepting his hand and letting him help her rise to her feet.  “I hate that worse than Gwen hates ‘Consort’.  She paused and looked at the ring still clenched in her fist then asked seriously but just as quietly, “You don’t think me dying would be the best for all concerned, Tiny?  It would solve a lot of problems.”

“Oh no,” he answered unequivocally.  “You’re not quitting,” he said though there appeared to be more he wanted to say.  Instead he bit his lips and continued to escort Randi back into the fortress she now called home.

“Say it,” Randi commanded in a low, fierce tone.  “C’mon, Tiny.  You’ve never held back before.  Why start now?” with just a hint of a sneer in her voice, hoping to goad him in doing... something.  At least he’d stand a chance of holding his own against her if they went head to head, and right now she needed the release that fighting would allow her.

He gazed at her sadly, knowing her aim and refusing to be baited.  Her shoulders sagged in defeat.  She knew the words he wouldn’t give voice to, and she knew he was completely correct in his silent assessment.  She wouldn’t give up; she wouldn’t quit; and one way or another she would find a way to make things right again.  Or at least as right as she could.  Randi turned her eyes in the direction Gwen’s shuttle had taken.  Some things just couldn’t be undone.

They entered the fortress and dripped a trail all the way to the cavernous bedroom.  Without discussion, Randi went right into the bathroom to get out of her wet things, and Tiny picked up a towel and began to dry himself off as best he could.  Randi emerged from the bathroom clad in a robe and toweling out her hair.  “Here,” she said briskly, shoving another robe in his direction.  “It’ll be a little snug, but at least it’s dry.”  He nodded his thanks and moved rapidly towards the bathroom, stripping out of his wet things and into the dry fleece with a sense of relief.  Then he hung up his clothes next to Randi’s and made his way back to her room.  She was standing before a now active fireplace, a glass of merlot in her hand as she stared unseeing into the flames.  She motioned to the open bottle and the empty glass.  “Help yourself.”  Tiny did so, though with much less wine than Randi had.  He sipped it slowly, appreciating the warmth it put in his belly but unwilling to lose his sensibilities.  Not now – when they were this close to finishing everything.  Randi continued to watch the fire though she was aware of every movement in the otherwise silent room.  Finally she cleared her throat and asked, “Where’s Reed?” realizing she hadn’t seen her in quite some time.

Tiny stared at her back for a long moment before moving over to the window to look out at the expanse of darkness.  He could feel and hear the ferocity of the storm as though it was an entity reaching out to him, but he was only allowed to glimpse the lashing rain on the window when the infrequent flash of lightning permitted it.  “She went home,” he replied into the silence, careful to omit exactly which home she’d returned to and when she’d left.  They’d cast everything on this one last gamble and if they lost....  He shook his head and took another swallow of wine.  They wouldn’t.  Too much depended on their success.  As long as they could keep Ares out of the loop....  Tiny shuddered.  As a warrior, he disdained the war god to the point of loathing.  But he only had to maintain the charade of tolerance a little while longer.  He felt Randi’s gaze on the back of his neck and he turned to meet her eyes.  They were filled with sorrow, pain and strangely enough, determination.  He smiled wanly at her.  “She couldn’t stay.  The energy – the rift – was killing her.” Not to mention Gwen needed her to guide her spirit quest, he thought but didn’t say aloud.  Randi would understand things soon enough.

“They why...?”  She motioned around them.  He got the hint.

“Because my duty lies here, Empress,” he said bowing his head slightly and her head dropped.  Despite everything, Tiny had remained a faithful, loyal friend and confidante.

“Are you sure she doesn’t need you?” remembering the grounding Tiny had always provided for the seer and for the first time in a while, putting someone else’s needs and desires above her own.

“Not like you do, Empress.”

There was no real answer Randi could give to that statement without admitting to something she was unwilling to yet.  The silence fell thick between them, and she clenched her hands again.  “GODDAMN YOU, GWEN!!!  YOU PROMISED ME!!!”  Randi flung her nearly full glass of wine into the fire, watching dispassionately as the flames flared, greedily consuming the alcohol they’d been offered.  “You promised me,” Randi whispered as she sank to her knees.  Tiny moved up behind her and reached out, only to stop short when he felt the growl coming from deep in her chest.  “Don’t.”  He let his hands drop, but didn’t leave Randi, knowing sooner or later he was going to be needed.  Tiny doubted she would ask for help though so he just stepped out of her sensory perception and waited.  “You promised me,” so softly it broke Tiny’s heart to hear it.

Her shoulders dropped and Randi covered her face with her hands.  This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.  The war was over and they had won.  So why did it feel like she’d lost everything that had mattered?  Tiny remained silent.  He really wasn’t sure what to say to her at this point.  She’d done what she thought was right and it had backfired.  He wondered if she realized why yet.

As if reading his thoughts, she turned to look at him and he met her stare though the depth of pain made his heart clench.  “Why, Tiny?  Why did Gwen leave?  What did I do that was so wrong?”  She turned back to the flames, studying them intently as if they had the answers she sought.  “I brought peace to the world,” she muttered.  “The rebel groups who opposed it are gone.”  She stood with a muffled groan and moved closer to the fire, drawn to both its warmth and light.  “I laid the world at her feet, and she left me.”  Torn between hurt and anger, Randi stiffened at the dark tingle that flushed her skin and rose to her feet.  She sneered when the god of war became a visible entity in the room.  Tiny froze, knowing that what happened next was up to Randi.

“Whine, whine, whine,” Ares complained, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“What do you want?” Randi asked coldly, her eyes devoid of life.

“A little respect would be a good start.”  Blue eyes held brown with a look of loathing and contempt.  “No, huh?” he said with an audible sigh.

“What. Do. You. Want?” Even Tiny felt the temperature drop from the chill in her voice and he shivered in reflex.

“I have come to claim what is mine.”

Nothing could have prepared Randi for Ares' claim, especially given the memories she had been reliving.  "I beg your pardon?"  Tiny hadn't believed the temperature in the room could drop any farther, but he swore he saw frost form on Ares' facial hair at Randi's disbelieving, whispered words.  "I don't know what fucking planet you just dropped in from, but nothing and NO ONE here belongs to you."  The coldness in her voice was countered by the fire in her eyes.

Ares smirked, probably not the best choices of expressions he could have chosen given the circumstances, but this was his final gamble, and he had to project an air of confidence he no longer felt.  If he lost now there would be hell to pay from any number of directions... not that he expected to lose.  Even though things had not turned out like he'd hoped... planned, he still had to believe he had every possible factor working in his favor.  "Oh, you don't have to beg, my dear.  You need only ask."  The war god smiled and took a sip of the merlot he had filled the glass with and then spitting it out.  "How do you drink this shit?" he asked with disdain as he wiped his mouth.  "No, never mind," he continued, waving his hand.  "It doesn't matter.  After tonight, you won't have to suffer with it any longer."  Ares crossed his arms over his chest and gave Randi his most confident smile.  "I said, I have come to claim what is mine."

"GET. OUT."

Ares looked amused, going so far as to chuckle lightly.  “Excuse me?”

Randi clenched her jaw so tightly the muscles in her face stood out in sharp relief and she stepped right into his personal space.  “Are you deaf as well as stupid?  Get the fuck out.”

Tiny’s eyes rounded comically as he watched the fearless interplay between Randi and the god of war.  He had never thought to see such a display in person, and he remained silent and still now as the drama unfolded before him, not wanting to disturb or influence the scene as it played out until or unless it became necessary for Randi’s safety.

Ares lost his amused expression; his eyes hardened and flamed, then widened when the warrior neither flinched nor retreated.  He walked around her slowly, or tried to, but Randi turned with him, watching his every step, every breath.  “You’ve got some big brass ones on you, don’t you there?  I never thought I see you grow them like this again, and any other time they’d be welcome.”  Ares shook his head.  “But not now.  I think you need to learn a little respect.”

He reached for her, but Randi caught his hand.  “Respect is something you earn, and I don’t want you in my personal space.”  She shoved him back slightly.

He let her, knowing she had to come to him willingly.  “I’ll go for now.  You’ll call for me soon enough.  But let me leave you with a parting gift.”

Faster than she could stop him, Ares touched her temple.  There was no immediate reaction on her part and he stood there perplexed, only coming out of his reverie when she knocked his arm away.  “I am telling you one last time,” she hissed. “LEAVE, or we’ll find out if there are more ways to kill a god than the legends tell us about.”

He continued to look at her another long moment.  “I’ll be here when you need me, but until then....” He touched her cheek and laughed wickedly.  Then he vanished without a trace in a shower of blue fire.

Quiet reigned for while as Randi pondered Ares’ words and actions.  “Tiny,” asked softly, finally breaking the silence.  “Do you remember what happened to Russ... with the Sabres?  I think that may have been when things started to come apart for me – with Gwen, I mean.”

He met her eyes carefully, not wanting to show his surprise.  Up to this point, she had had no cognitive memories of anything she had done in regards to taking control of the unit or destroying the rebels.  Even now, knowing that the rebels were gone and that she was the one responsible because of her status as Empress, there was no trace of the memories of what she had done or how she had accomplished it.  According to Reed, they didn’t exist... at least not in a place that could be accessed in a mind walk.  Randi had to be willing to walk into her darkest place – one so carefully hidden that no one else save Gwen could find it.

“What do you remember, Empress?”

She shook her head, though he wasn’t sure if it was at her title or some other reason.  “Nothing.”  She slammed her fist against the table. “Nothing!  Except a few rumors that reached my ears.  And the obvious results I can see in front of me.”  She looked at him with tears in her eyes – a mixture of fear, sadness and hopelessness etched onto her expressive features.  Then she looked back into the fire again as if searching for answers.  Tiny chanced a glance at his watch.  If he could manage to hold on for just a few more minutes, Sky should be here to help him.  “Why can’t I remember, Tiny?  Why?”

“Randi, do you trust me?”

Her dark head popped up at his use of her name.  He had not used her name since they’d come to this place, and it caught her attention now.  Tiny extended a hand towards her and waited.  She had to meet him on this.  It wasn’t something he could force.  Randi gazed at the large hand, palm up and let those memories she had of this man wash over her.  Times he had watched her back or eased her pain or wiped her tears or caressed her body.  So much water under the bridge between them and yet they had always, always had trust and respect between them.  She placed her hand in his without further hesitation, knowing this one thing in her life was still right.  “Yes,” came the solid, unequivocal answer.

“Then be patient just a few more minutes and then we can figure everything out together.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.  I promise.  And I will stay right here beside you every step of the way.”

Randi nodded her head and let it drop disconsolately.  “I don’t think I don’t deserve a friend like you anymore, Tiny.”  Tiny patted her hand and held on, but he didn’t say a word.  Randi’s eyes grew cold and distant.  Without warning she pulled her hand from his and began to pace, unable to bear the thought of company any longer.  “Tiny, leave me.”

“Empress?”  He hoped he had misunderstood.  They were so close to ending this... so close to winning.  He hated to chance leaving her alone to do something rash.  She turned burning blue eyes in his direction, and he flinched at the pain and anger that smoldered in their depths.

“What did you not understand?”

“Empress... Randi, please.  I thought you trusted me.”

“This has nothing to do with trust, Tiny, and everything to do with responsibility.”  Randi’s shoulders slumped in defeat.  “It’s time I took responsibility for what has happened because obviously I did something.  Gwen wouldn’t have left otherwise.  I have to believe that.”  She sighed.  “Please, Tiny.  You’ve done all you can and been a better friend than I have ever deserved, especially lately.  Now, leave me and let me finish this.  Go to Reed – get married, have a baby.  You can enjoy the peace now... at least one of us should.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?” her tone sharpening.

“No.  I will not leave you alone.  Not now.”

The noise she made would have been considered a sob had she not been a Sabre warrior and Empress of the World.  Then she slipped on the mask that had served her well for the better part of her life and she shrugged.  “Suit yourself,” she said.  “Funny,” she added sardonically though Tiny could hear the pain behind the words.  “Gwen couldn’t wait to leave.”

“That’s not true,” Tiny stated firmly.  “And you know it.”

She stiffened at his words and snarled.  “I know what I remember.”  She let her mind drift back to the moment an hour earlier when her world had shattered.  The memory faded once more and Randi became aware of Tiny’s scrutiny.  Then she squared her shoulders.  “Let’s end this now,” she said with purpose and before he could speak, she did, calling the one name Tiny never wanted to hear her utter.  “Ares....”

The world trembled in anticipation of things to come.

************

Lacey exited the transport and surveyed the area around the cabin before she turned and nodded, extending her hand to Gwen as she emerged.  Gwen took a deep breath and closed her eyes against the memories of that last time she’d been to this place – trying to forget they were supposed to have come back to experience summer together.  Then she stepped down and squared her shoulders and moved deliberately towards the door.  She raised her hand to the pad, waiting for it to recognize her imprint.  She spared a thought of gratitude for the time they had taken from their honeymoon to make this place accessible to her as well, then pushed the door open....

... only to stand frozen at the door as familiar sights and scents assaulted her senses.  Gwen couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped or the lone tear that rolled down her cheek.  She covered her mouth to keep any other sounds from escaping and slowly stepped into the room. 

Lacey stood at the door, not wanting to intrude on this moment, knowing it was intensely private and very painful.  At the periphery of her hearing, she heard the transport turn into the lane leading to the cottage.  She had already seen movement from several bodies in the trees and grasses surrounding the cabin, but they had indicated their peaceful intentions and she was content to let them be.  She suspected they were here for a purpose much as she herself was.  Lacey turned her attention back to the solitary figure that now sat forlornly on the bed.  The slump of Gwen’s shoulders made Lacey’s heart ache, and she could only hope they had done the right thing in coming here.

Reed and Rosie stepped from the transport before it was completely shut down.  “How is she?” addressing her question to Lacey who remained in the open doorway.  The Sabre doctor only shook her head and gestured towards the bed.  Gwen had removed a pillow from the bed and was now wrapped around it.   From the distance, they couldn’t tell anything else though.  They quickly emptied the transport of the necessary supplies, then Reed motioned for the watchers to approach.  Lacey could track them only because she knew where to look.  Their stealth was impressive, almost equal to the Sabres own.  When they reached the trio standing in the doorway, Reed nodded her head in approval. 

“Excellent,” she commented with a smile.  “I am so glad to see you all.  Now you know what to do.  Make the perimeter as tight as you can around the cabin.  We need to form a barrier capable of keeping a god out.”

“It will be done,” an older man replied somberly.  “We owe Ravenhawk our best effort.  And the god who caused this and the death of our friend needs to be defeated.”

“Amen to that brother,” Lacey muttered under her breath.  “I hear ya.”  The watchers heard her comment as well apparently, as smiles flashed across their dark faces, causing a brief reflection of moonlight.  Then they began to scatter around the small cabin and Rosie, Reed and Lacey made their way inside.

Gwen didn’t notice.  She was currently curled around Randi’s pillow, letting the familiar scent engulf her mind and transport her to a different time and place.  If someone, anyone, had suggested to her on their wedding day that she would have returned to this place alone less than six months after sharing it with Randi on such a glorious honeymoon, she would have laughed them out of the room and possibly off the planet.  Instead she lay still and let happier memories immerse her, hoping they would help shield her for the ordeal she knew lay ahead.

Reed walked over to her, reaching forward and brushing the blonde hair back away from Gwen’s face.  She was unprepared for the visible flinch that coursed through Gwen’s slight frame.  The seer figured the reaction was purely involuntary and anyone who approached Gwen would have received the same response.  Still it was a little unnerving.  Reed made to remove her hand, then some instinct not understood caused her to drop it to delicately rest on Gwen’s shoulder.  She was immediately gratified when Gwen lightly covered it with her own for a brief moment before dropping her hand back down to curl around the pillow once more.  “How are you holding up?” Reed asked softly.  Not that she was trying to hide anything from her compatriots, but the tone seemed to fit the situation.

Gwen smiled weakly.  “Well, I have to admit this hasn’t been one of my better days.”

Reed gave a wry chuckle.  “Yeah, I could see how you’d feel that way.”  She looked over her shoulder.  “Rosie and Lacey are nearly set up and then we just have to wait for a signal from Tiny and Sky.”

Gwen nodded absently against the pillow and let the scent of her warrior surround her senses for a long moment.  Then she turned slightly to face Reed and sat up just a bit.  “Reed, do you honestly think this will work?”

Gray eyes faced her squarely.  “Do you honestly believe you are soulmates?”  Reed found the answer burning in Gwen’s eyes before her head moved.  “Then yes,” she stated firmly.  “I honestly believe this will work.  But you’ve gotta believe it too, my friend.  Now is not the time for a crisis of faith.”

Gwen smiled – the first genuine smile she’d worn in what felt like forever.  “Thanks, Reed.  I know this has been nearly impossible for you, and I appreciate you sticking around... more than you’ll ever know.”

Reed shrugged deprecatingly.  “That’s what friends do, right?  Can I tell you a little secret, Gwen?” getting an interested nod in response.  “Even if I wasn’t... involved... in this situation, I’d have still stuck around for you because you were the first person, and have been one of the few outside the Sabre circle, who accepted me for what I am and treated me as a normal human being.  I’m just glad I get to be a part of what I know will be an incredible story.”  Her watch vibrated and she looked down to see a signal from Tiny coming in.  “Excuse me a minute, Gwen.  It’s Tiny so that means it’s about time to get started.”

Gwen nodded and watched her move into a secluded area.  Then she slid back into a reclined position and closed her eyes.  Already she was completely drained and the hard part hadn’t even started yet.  She missed the look of consternation that crossed Reed’s face or the urgency that suddenly became apparent in the three women’s motions.  Gwen’s sole focus was on relaxing enough to reach out into Randi’s dreamscape when the time came.

She was never even aware that a crisis had arisen.


Chapter II

“What?” Rosie whispered to Reed after one glance at her tight face.  She clasped Reed’s arm and drew her over to where she and Lacey had unpacked the few supplies they had brought with them and had been waiting quietly for Reed’s signal to begin.  The shamaness had noticed Reed’s olive skin drain of color and knew immediately something unwelcome had occurred.  The haste with which Reed had summarily joined them only confirmed that suspicion.

Reed swallowed hard and blew out a breath.  “I got word from Tiny.”

“Excellent.  Let’s get started then. The sooner....  What?”  Rosie broke off when Reed grabbed her arm and shook her head emphatically.

“No,” Reed forced herself to calmness.  “No, it’s not that easy.”

“Of course not,” Lacey muttered.  “Randi and Gwen are involved.”

The other two women smiled wryly at each other acknowledging the truth of that statement.  Then the seriousness returned to Reed’s face.  “Randi has summoned Ares.”

Blank shock dropped two sets of jaws.  Rosie and Lacey exchanged looks before turning their attention back to Reed.  Rosie closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.  “We have no time to waste then.  Let’s get to work.”

Reed blinked, then realized Rosie was right.  They were only defeated if they allowed themselves to be.  She nodded, her determination obvious in her face and her now very deliberate actions.  “Let’s do it.”

************

“Well now,” the god of war growled.  “This was rather unexpected.”  He rubbed his beard thoughtfully.  “I mean after that nasty little dismissal a while ago, I didn’t expect to hear from you quite so soon.”

Randi kicked a chair in his direction and pushed him backwards. “Siddown,” she invited before dropping into her own chair.  Ares stumbled a step before catching himself.  Then he threw a glare in Randi’s direction and sat.

Minutes passed in silence as they looked at one another.  Tiny watched it all from his post near the door.  He was outwardly dispassionate while mentally he mustered his intestinal fortitude for the final battle.  He’d been notified of Sky’s arrival and knew it would be soon.  Finally Ares began to grin diabolically and then chuckled to himself.  Randi’s expression never changed.  When his chuckles wound down to nothing, Ares spoke.  “You know, you really had me going there for a while... sending me away like that.  No wonder I chose you.  You’re perfect, just like she was.”  Ares grinned at the memory of Randi’s long-lost ancestor and stretched luxuriously.  “No one would have guessed it was all for show.  Only one other has ever had the gonads to stand up to me like that.  To tell you the truth I’ve missed it - the fire, the passion, the backbone – it’s so... so....”  He noticed the bored expression on her face.  “What?” a little discombobulated by her lack of enthusiasm.

“Do you ever shut up or do you get off listening to yourself?”

He lost his humor. “Excuse me?”  He rose from his seat and glared down at her.  “Look, I don’t know who you think you are or who you think you’re dealing with, but you are nothing, NOTHING without me.  You got that?  I am the GOD of WAR and I made you.  You belong to me!”  The fire that blazed from her blue eyes should have rendered him ash and cinder, and Ares actually had to resist the urge to check himself for burn marks.  He raised his hands for immediate retaliation, then lowered them again when she didn’t even flinch.  “What?” he said again, this time with a slightly plaintive tone.

“Sit. Down.”  Randi’s comment was a cold as ice.

He held her gaze for a moment longer before slowly sinking back into his seat, intrigued and not a little turned on by the intense personality across from him.  He recognized that she was a force that needed to be reckoned with.  She wasn’t afraid of him... or dying... at all, and he wanted to know why.  Ares sat regarding her intently and Randi met his gaze look for look.  He was the first to look away, glancing around the room with a smirk.  “Nice place.  A little too bright for my tastes, but we can fix that.  First things first.”

“What do you want?” with no trace of emotion.

Ares stood and turned in a full circle with his arms outspread. “I want everything.  And I am finally,” pounding a fist into his hand, “FINALLY going to have it all.”  He looked at Randi and the most diabolical smile creased his face.  “After millennia of waiting and careful planning and manipulation,” approaching her slowly and clenching his fist closed.  “YOU belong to ME.  Body, heart and soul are mine as it should have been from the beginning and I am ready to claim my due.”

Ares reached for her, expecting... well, certainly not what he got and it was for that reason alone he was caught unawares by what happened.  He fully expected Randi to be excited by the prospect of joining with him; to allow him to lay claim to the treasure he found her to be.  That was why she summoned him after all, right?   Instead he felt the very real and unfortunate pain of her boot connecting with his family jewels.  He gasped in agony, trying to process the fact that this woman had the ability to hurt him even as he covered himself and slumped to the ground hoping to catch his breath.

Tiny observed the action from the doorway and winced in automatic sympathy, unconsciously crossing his legs.  He saw rapid movement headed his direction and allowed Sky’s approach to take his mind off the agony he knew Ares was experiencing.  The situation needed to be explained as quickly and thoroughly as possible so they could form a plan of action.

Meanwhile Ares was now far less turned on by her attitude and he raised his hand.  The fireball brushed by her head so closely that she felt her skin singe.  Yet Randi never even flinched.  She was simply beyond caring, and he recognized that at her lack of reaction.  He couldn’t do worse to her than had already been done.  Ares wheezed and stood up, though not completely straight and slid his body back into his chair.  “Please,” he said when he managed to get his voice into its normal octave.  “Tell me you are not going to let that little nothing of a bard take away everything we have worked so hard for.”

She considered him carefully, then answered him with more passion than he had heard from her to date.  “WE did not work for anything and this....” gesturing around them.  “I’d give it all up in a heartbeat, everything, to know what I did that caused Gwen to leave.   Maybe then I’d have a chance to fix it and get her back.”

“Perhaps I can help?” Sky spoke quietly, but it was enough to carry his words to Randi’s ears.

“Stay out of this, Old Man!” Ares snarled, using a look to throw the chieftain back against the wall of the hallway and slamming the door shut with a flick of his wrist when Tiny scrambled out after Sky.

Randi glared. “Can’t handle the competition, Ares?” daring him to do his worst.  When he failed to react, Randi stood and went to stand in front of the fire, deliberately keeping her back to him. “Now,” with her voice and intonation cold and dead once more, “I’m going to ask you one more time.  What do you want from me?  Why are you here?”

“I am here because you called for me,” he replied in an equally cold voice.  “And you know what I want from you.  I explained that already.  Even your little blonde friend is bright enough to have gotten it already.  Or she would have if she’d stuck around for explanations,” he dug.  “But she didn’t, did she?  She LEFT!!!”  He walked closer, reaching out but not quite touching and calming his voice to a soothing sound.  “She’s gone, Randi.  It’s time for you to reclaim your destiny.  And with you at my side, we will be unstoppable!”

Randi turned, her face an impassive mask.  Only her eyes showed any trace of emotion, but as focused as Ares was on his victory he completely misread them.  “You just don’t get it, do you?” asked with derision in her tone.  “She OWNS me – body, heart and soul.  You can’t claim something from me that I don’t have to give.”

Confusion flitted across Ares’ face before it hardened into anger.  “You summoned me.  You WILL be mine!”  In his fury, he didn’t hear the bedroom door open or Tiny and Sky cross the threshold into the living room.  “Let me show you why!”  This time when he reached for her, he struck first - forcefully projecting every dark, hidden memory she was missing since her return from the dead.  They were nothing more than flashes of images in her mind, but it was disturbing enough for Randi to push Ares away from her with serious intent.  “Now what do you think, hmm?” he snarled.  “I. OWN. YOU.  Not HER.  ME.” Randi slumped to her knees cradling her head in her hands.  Ares looked at her in disgust, waiting impatiently for her to figure it out.  Then he dropped into the chair and drummed his fingers on the arm.

Nothing was clear – everything was a flash, a feeling.  But Randi didn’t like the feelings those images produced in her and she continued to kneel on the floor as she pushed away the pain receiving Ares’ visuals had caused to lance through her head.

Tiny moved to go to her but was held back by Sky’s hand on his arm.  He looked at the chieftain and cocked an eyebrow in question.  Sky shook his head.  “She knows we are here, Tiny.  She will call us when she is ready.”

When the pain reached a tolerable level, Randi dropped her arms to her sides and stood, stoic mask firmly in place.  Then she turned to Ares with a smirk.  “Leave.”

His jaw fell in disbelief and he blinked at her.  “What?”

“God, you really are stupid, aren’t you?  Leave.  Go away.  Get outta here.”

“You can’t....”

“Oh, but I can.  You see, I figured something out,” resisting the urge to hold her head as another blinding ache pierced her awareness.  “You can’t stay here without an invitation.  I have to give myself to you freely – you can’t take.   Otherwise you would have staked your claim already; taken me for whatever purpose you wanted.  I have to want you here for you to win.  Well, guess what, War God... I don’t want you here.  I had you come here so I could get some answers, and I got what I needed from you.  Now LEAVE.”

Ares sat studying her for a very long moment, scratching his beard thoughtfully.  “All right.  You need some time to um... digest those memories.  I’ve waited this long - a little longer won’t hurt.  You’ll call for me again soon enough, and it will just make my victory all the sweeter.  However, I am a god so allow me to give you something to remember me by.”  He tossed a bolt her way and she read his intention clearly.  But in her effort to evade it, she twisted the wrong way and wound up directly in its path.  It caught her squarely in the chest and Randi collapsed to the floor twitching.  “Think about it,” he muttered before deliberately stepping over her and disappearing out of sight.

Tiny didn’t even wait for the sparkle to hit the floor before he was crossing the room and kneeling by her side.  Randi’s breathing was fast and shallow and he gently lifted her into his arms and walked swiftly into the bedroom.  Sky had anticipated his actions and had turned the bed down.  Now Tiny placed her carefully on the mattress and moved the robe aside to see a large, ugly burn mark running the length of Randi’s torso.  “Stay with her,” he instructed Sky brusquely, then he padded rapidly to the bathroom to obtain the first aid kit and the regen unit.  They needed her conscious before they could start the spirit walk because she had to make the choice to take that step.  He dropped the load in his arms onto the bed then looked as Sky.  “Can you set up the regen unit, or you wanna take care of that burn?”

Sky cocked his head a moment.  He’d thought the regen unit was for the burn and wondered why Tiny felt the need to medicate something that could be handled without creams and bandages.  Then his eyes widened in understanding.  The medicine was to speed the process as they were working in a very limited time frame.  He would have hit himself for his shortsightedness, but Tiny was getting impatient waiting for an answer.  “I’ll start on the burn.  I have a feeling you are much more familiar with the regen unit than I am.  Then you need to contact Reed and find out where they are... in the process, I mean.  With any luck we can still coordinate this together to make it easier for Gwen.”

Tiny had started setting up the regen unit before Sky finished speaking.  He checked Randi’s vitals, pleased to know that her responses where still intact even if her conscious mind didn’t appear to be available at the moment.  Tiny watched for a moment as Sky cleaned the wound and began smearing analgesic cream on Randi’s upper body before he heeded Sky’s advice and put in a call to Reed.  Tiny didn’t waste time with Sabre encryptions and codes though the line he used was secure enough.  He figured time was important and putting it on the screen where Sky could see and hear as well would help speed matters immensely.

Sky was in the process of applying the syn skin when Lacey answered the portable vid phone she’d brought along for their use.  They had no way to utilize the one in the caverns and it wasn’t practical for their current situation regardless.

“Lace, it’s Tiny.  Let me talk to Reed.”

“Can’t do it, Tiny.  Things are a little hairy here right now.  What’s up?”

Tiny’s face immediately grew concerned.  “What’s happened?  What’s wrong?”

Lacey shook her head.  “We don’t know that anything is wrong yet.  When we got your message earlier, we went right to work to get everything set.  We didn’t even notice that Gwen fell asleep on her own.  Reed and Rosie are setting up a safe place in Gwen’s mind so that Reed can go in and lead Gwen there until they can start their walk together.”

“Why didn’t they just wake her up?”

“We tried.  She didn’t respond so we decided to work from where she was.  She’s riding an edge right now, Tiny, and we’re trying to keep from pushing her over.”  Lacey saw the shadow that crossed his features and it immediately set the hair on the back of her neck standing upright.  She shivered in response.  “What?”

“Randi is unconscious,” he answered plainly, holding up a hand to keep her from interrupting.  “When she called for Ares, she goaded him to the point that he did something; sent a jolt of power through her body and knocked her unconscious.”

“When did this happen?”

Tiny looked at his watch.  “About ten minutes ago, maybe.  We got the regen unit set up and I called you right after.  Sky is just finishing up with the syn skin so it hasn’t been very long at all.”

“If I understood Reed correctly though, that is more than long enough for them to reach out to each other.  God,” she cursed softly.  “Let me go see if I can interrupt or at least get this information to them without doing any damage.  Keep the channel open, and I’ll face the screen so you can see what is going on here.  I’ll crank the volume up for you as well.”

Tiny nodded and turned to look at Sky with bleak eyes as Lacey moved away from the monitor.  “What do we do now?”

“Now we wait.  Anything else jeopardizes their soul.”

************

Randi looked around conspicuously.  She knew this place all too well, but this time something was different.  Actually everything was different, and she examined that idea carefully.  This was her hideaway and yet it wasn’t.  The feel was completely wrong.  Was it what Ares had done to her or...?  She paused and listened carefully.  Only one other had ever been able to find this place; only one could stand her darkness and survive it.  Or better yet, help her to survive the darkness Ares had tried to force into her mind.

Randi held her breath, diligently scanning for the sounds of other inhabitants in the darkness.  Slowly she heard another set of breathing in complete synchronicity with her own.  She wished for a light but nothing happened – not immediately anyway.  When the light finally came, it came from an unexpected person in an unexpected place.

In the far distance, from the same direction she had detected the breathing, a small light shone as though a candle lit at the end of a very long tunnel.  Not seeing any other appropriate recourse, Randi focused her energies on reaching the light that beckoned her.  She walked slowly in deference to the ache in her chest.  That in itself was odd as she couldn’t remember feeling physical pain in this place before.  Emotional or psychological pain was something else again, but that was not what this felt like.  This felt real, as though some serious damage had been done to her person.  Still she made progress as the light never wavered and she grew closer to it.  When she reached the light she hesitated and looked around.  It was as she had imagined - a candle.  The flame never flickered even when she picked it up from the slab it rested on.  Prudently she examined the area around her with a judicious eye.

It was her space – the place in her mind where all her dark memories were stored.  But she’d never been forced to walk here before; never had to search for light if she wanted it, though she rarely did.  Stranger, it was neat and clean.  Not just orderly as her mind tended to be anyway, but squeaky clean like someone had been housekeeping.

“I have been,” came a voice from behind her.  Randi whirled - only to find she was looking at... herself.  She stared for a moment, slack-jawed, before allowing her knees to give way.  Her butt met the hard marble slab and she was happy to take a seat.

“Who... what... how...?” the Empress Randi fumbled with her words as the former Sabre watched with amusement.

“I know there is a whole question in there somewhere just dying to get out.  Slide over,” she said nudging her counterpart.  “I think it’s time we had a talk.”

The Empress clutched her chest and nodded her head dumbly.  Randi smiled and took a seat beside, but not touching herself.  This was weird enough without physical contact between them.

“What do you know?” Randi asked.

“In relation to...?” the Empress returned impatiently.  “I know that this has got to be the single most surreal experience of my life.  I know this place although it is nothing like it is supposed to be.  And I know Ares has got a hell of a wicked right hook.  Other than that, I am pretty much flying blind here.”

Randi nodded in complete sympathy.  “It took me a while to figure it out.  Let me give you the cliff’s notes version of what I know and you can fill in any blanks, all right?  Then maybe between us we can figure out a way to fix this mess.”

Unpredictably tears formed in the Empress’ eyes.  She had done more crying in the past hour than she had since her wedding day.  It was disturbing and disconcerting and completely wonderful.  It was as though she could feel again... with her whole heart.  “Whatever it takes.  If it gets me Gwen back I’m willing to do anything.”

“Anything?” spoke a third voice from the darkness. 

Both Sabre and Empress turned instinctively towards it – one smiling in genuine warmth; the other more tremulously.  But both clearly showed the love they felt for the woman who stepped into the circle of light.  “Gwen?” spoken simultaneously.

“Anything, Randi?” not batting an eye over the fact that there were in fact two distinct Randi’s sitting in front her.  Time for that explanation later.  First she wanted a commitment from her... them... whatever.  Warrior to bard - Gwen wanted a promise.

Randi turned to face herself, feeling the oddness of the sensation tingle through her body down to her toes.  Whatever Ares had done to her, it was going to be up to her, both parts of her, to work together to defeat him.  And with Gwen beside them, there was no way they could lose.  They had too much at stake.  “Anything,” they answered simultaneously.

“Good,” Gwen nodded in satisfaction.  “Then clasp hands.  It is time to make you whole once more.”

“I can’t be whole without you, Gwen, and you left me.  Why did you leave me, Gwen?”

The anguish in the Empress’ voice brought tears to Gwen’s eyes though she refused to let them fall.  Now was not the time or place.  If... when they survived their spirit walk together - that would be the time to fall apart because then they could do it jointly.  Gwen stepped forward and reached out a hand to cup the Empress’ face.  She was suddenly struck by the uniqueness of their appearances.  While both were sleek and well-defined the Empress tended towards sharp lines and hard planes.  The ex-Sabre had a smoother, softer look.  Startled by the revelation, she blinked in rapid succession, then smiled tremulously at both of them.

“I left because it was time – time for you to find your own truth and make up your own mind.  But I never really went away.  I promised you I would always be here when you needed me, and here I am.”

“I hurt.”

“I know, Love.  We all do.  The question is do you want to fix it?”

“Yes,” came the stark reply.

“Then the first step is to bring you back together again.  The woman who loves and feels guilt and pain and sadness is part of the warrior, and the warrior is a part of her.  They cannot continue to exist and function separately.”

“Wait – you think I need her??” the Empress snarled, clutching her chest.  “She’s weak.  That’s why she’s here!”

Randi sat quietly, knowing the truth and knowing Gwen would defend both it and her.

“You’re wrong, Randi.  The part of you that loves, that feels things so deeply – that is the part that makes you strong.  That is why Ares poisoned you... to separate the part he couldn’t control from the part he could manipulate.  He could only try to lay claim to the warrior part of you.  The rest belongs to me unequivocally.”

“You love her more!” the Empress said petulantly.

“Randi,” taking the Empress’ face in both hands and making those eyes the sole focus of her world for the moment.  “You are the same, and I love all of you – the warrior and the lover, the darkness and the light – everything.  It is all, ALL part and parcel of the woman who holds my heart and owns my soul.  Don’t discount your worth to me – not any part of it!”

The Empress gazed into Gwen’s eyes and read the truth there - the truth of her words; the truth of her needs; and the truth behind her leaving. She leaned forward and brushed their lips together.  “Forgive me my lack of faith, Beloved.  I know better than to underestimate your capacity for love and understanding.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself there either, Stud.”

The Empress saw faith and love reflected back to her from those green eyes, and she nodded and turned to face her other self.  “All right.  Let’s do this,” reaching for her counterpart’s hand.

“Wait,” Randi said to herself.  “The parts of me that are here – we’re separated in my mind but not in a literal physical way.  Lay down.”  The Empress looked at her askance.  “We can share the same physical space – we have to.  We’re the same person. C’mon.”

Randi lay down on the slab and waited.  The Empress hesitated, then stepped onto the platform and lay down as well.  She felt herself sinking into and merging with the rest of her being and felt a moment’s unreasoning panic.  Gwen took her hand and held it to her lips, and suddenly everything was all right.

Randi laid still, eyes closed, absorbing the sensation of being whole again.  It was so different than what she’d grown accustomed to feeling over the last few months that she could hardly stand the phenomenon of completeness within herself.  She’d learned a new appreciation for the facets of her being and the balance of her life, and she hoped to never experience such a rending again.  Only being separated from Gwen had been worse, and she had a feeling that might change when she knew the truth of everything she’d seen and done in the last few months.  She was overjoyed that Gwen was here and would be here to share it.

She felt Gwen’s grip on her hand and the touch of her lips, and Randi pulled their intertwined hands to her own lips for a kiss.  She opened her eyes and smiled at Gwen.  “I love you,” she whispered... words spoken for the first time in far too long.

Now Gwen’s tears fell, but this time they were tears of joy.  “I love you too, Stud, so very much.  Welcome back.”  And they took a brief respite to savor the moment together, knowing the worst was yet to come.

************

“WHAT?!?” Artemis whispered furiously as she clutched at Athena’s arm.  The wisdom goddess flinched at the force of the huntress’ hold on her and glared at her.

“Artemis, do you mind?” prying the fingers loose.  “That hurts and you’re not a mortal.  You can leave marks.”

Artemis released Athena’s arm only to grip her fingers.  “The, they can’t do that!  Do you know what this means??”

“Artie, they already have, and yes, I do.  It means that we have to adapt and overcome.  Come on; if mortals can and have been doing this for thousands of years, surely we can manage it just this once.”

Artemis shook her head.  “One Hades of a time to decide to try.”

Athena gave her a wry smile.  “Yes, well, it’s not like we have a choice.”

“I don’t think I like this whole human experience.  And what are we going to tell Dite?”

“The truth.  This isn’t a time to hold anything back.  She needs to know and we need to figure out what we’re going to do.”

“I need to know what, babe?” Dite questioned as her eyes slowly opened and focused on her sisters.  “Guys, Randi and Gwen have apparently already found one another in the dreamscape without either Reed or Sky to guide them on their spirit quest.  Their bond is still strong, but it’s... weird.  Totally, bizarrely, off-the-scale weird.”

Two sets of godly brows hiked into equally godly hairlines and they glanced at each other in confusion.  “Um, Dite,” Artemis said after delicately clearing her throat.  “I think we get the whole ‘weird’ concept you’ve got going on here, but do you think you could, uh... be a little more specific on what brought you to that conclusion?”

Athena handed the love goddess a cup of ambrosia, which in her case was hot chocolate with miniature marshmallows.  Dite smiled and received Athena’s offering with grateful thanks.  It looked easy – monitoring the soulmates’ bond, but this was draining in a way that could only be felt in the depths of her own being.  As thankful as she was for her sisters’ love and support even they didn’t understand the stress and strain this put her under.

Dite sipped her beverage, feeling it warm and strengthen her from the inside out.  Its added strength allowed her to keep an eye on Randi and Gwen while focusing on sharing her knowledge with Athena and Artemis.  She motioned for them to have a seat, and Artemis set down a tray of Dite’s favorite snacks before sitting.  Then they gazed at her expectantly.  With any luck this would be the final piece in their puzzle to understanding everything.


Chapter III

Dite stretched out, wishing for a massage but settling for the tray of tidbits instead.  She picked one up and took a bite, then chewed and swallowed thoughtfully.  Another sip of chocolate and she was ready to speak – a good thing since her sisters were twitching in impatience.

“We’ve been watching them regularly since we figured out that Ares was trying to totally manipulate Randi, and I started monitoring them constantly when Gwen went off on Randi for calling her a consort.  It was so obvious to me from her reaction to that gnarly term that their separation was radically near.”  She held up her hand to keep Artemis from interrupting.  “I know you know this, Artie.  Just let me tell this.”  She chewed another sandwich.  “I noticed something right away – something we had no way of knowing from our visual observations.  I understand now how Ares managed to gain some bogus control; how he’s tried to maintain that awesome power.  But I also learned that Randi didn’t make this decision like, voluntarily and has been so at war with herself over it.”  Dite glanced between her two sisters, verifying that she had their complete attention. 

Athena looked at Dite with a furrowed brow and a distinct look of confusion.  “Aphrodite, we already knew Randi didn’t make the decision on her own.  Ares had her poisoned.  That’s why Artemis has been so hard at work finding an antidote to reverse its effects and allow Randi to exercise her free will once more.  That’s why she has to make the decision to accept it.”  Dite shook her head vehemently and set her sandwich down with some force.

“No, The... that’s what I’m totally trying to tell you.  Yes, she was poisoned, and that allowed Ares way greater success in trying to, you know, manipulate her.  But the reason the poisoning gave Ares that possibility of power is because it caused Randi’s radical personality to distinctly split.  It gave him major influence over the warrior part of her.  The rest of Randi’s gnarly character has been locked away in her own mind.”

Both goddesses goggled at Dite like fish out of water.  The implications of what she had just said were overwhelming.

“One wonders why he hasn’t made more widespread use of this method if it is so successful.”

“I don’t think it is – that successful, I mean,” Dite said honestly.  “Not given what I’ve witnessed.”

Athena pursed her lips.  “What have you seen exactly?  How did you come to this conclusion?”

“Not a sight... more of a feeling.” Dite sighed.  “When I started monitoring them like, constantly, I could feel two distinct individualities struggling for dominance in Randi’s being.  Two separate personas that are both part of Randi’s singular personality.”

“Do we have a way to confirm this?”

Dite shrugged.  “As if.  Look, I’m still working on it.  I do know that Gwen and Randi seemed to have entered that radical dreamscape together.  Something totally changed - I felt....”  She bit her lips in thought.  “It was weird.  It was like Randi, you know, merged with herself or something because she became a single entity again.  Then she and Gwen connected and....”  Dite trailed off.

“And??” Artemis prompted impatiently.  The love goddess closed her eyes in concentration.

“And that’s all so far.  They’re together, but things are still way off.”  Dite rubbed her eyes and rolled her neck.  “I told you - all I can do is sense their bonding and keep it strong.  The rest... the rest I felt because the emotions were so majorly intense.”

Athena refilled Dite’s cup with hot chocolate and added extra marshmallows.  “You did good, Little Sister.  What can we do to help?”

“Pray?” Dite replied jokingly.  “I dunno.  Just be here and help me keep that bodacious link between them strong.  Even without Reed and Sky to guide them, I have to believe they will be all right together as long as they have that.”

“So do we need to tell Reed and Sky to back off and let Randi and Gwen handle it themselves?”

“I don’t think so, Artie.  I think having the seers in place is in everyone’s best interest.  They may not be needed,” Athena responded, “but it’s better to have them there in any case.  They can provide support for Randi and Gwen even if they don’t guide their quest together.”

Artemis nodded.  “I’ll let them know then.”  She sniffed subtly.  “Any chance I could get a little of that nectar, Dite?  It smells divine, and you’re the only god with hot chocolate for nectar.  And I have got to be honest with you – vegetable juice just isn’t the same.”

Dite laughed and even Athena had to chuckle at Artemis’ plaintive plea.  But it was true.  Each god had his or her own flavor for nectar tailored to the dominion over which they reigned.  Dite had definitely gotten the best result from that rule.  Fortunately she wasn’t averse to sharing – most days, anyway.  “Go ahead, Artie.  I can use all the fabulous love vibrations we can muster.”

“I can do fabulous,” she said, pouring herself a cup of chocolate and gently inhaling the scent.

“I can second that,” Athena concurred, adding extra marshmallows for herself.  “Though I should be thankful to have gotten new wine and not olive oil.  I believe Zeus was entertaining that as a possibility at one point because of the abundance of olives available.”

All three goddesses scrunched up their faces at that idea.  Then Artemis moved to notify the seers and Athena prepared to resume her support of Dite.  The love goddess re-centered herself and closed her eyes once more, intently focusing on the bond that connected Randi and Gwen soul to soul.

************

“How is she?” Geoff asked as he came into the room.  “I got here as fast as I could.”  His hover chair brought him right to the bed and Sky and Tiny moved aside to let him through.  Geoff slipped from the chair and stood on unsteady legs before edging his body onto the bed beside Randi.  He pulled her robe apart just slightly to see that the syn skin went from her collarbone to her naval.  “What the hell happened?  And where’s Gwen?”

Tiny hadn’t given Geoff any details.  He’d just called and told Geoff that Randi was down and that they had issues. Geoff had kissed Jill goodbye and left the school where they had been observing the progress of the rebel students with satisfaction.  He rushed back over to the palatial mansion Randi and Gwen had moved into when Randi had shifted from Commandant to Empress.  Randi had tried to convince them to move in with her and Gwen, but he hated the place. Even if Randi and Gwen hadn’t been newlyweds, he wouldn’t have chosen to live there.  It had been hard enough to come stay briefly at Gwen’s request.  It was apparent to him that Gwen hated it as well and he wondered why Randi couldn’t seem to appreciate that.

“I told you we had issues, and it’s complicated.”

“Of course it is,” Geoff said wryly.  “When has it not been with the two of them?  Will she be all right if we leave her alone for a bit?”  Sky checked her pulse and nodded.  Geoff pushed himself off the bed and stood for a moment balancing on both legs and the staff that he now carried with him everywhere.  Not only did it help his balance, but it gave him a much-needed feeling of self-power as he had become quite proficient with it in the chair and had been able to start doing the bare basics very slowly while standing on his own two feet.  He walked slowly and carefully to the chair Randi had occupied not so long before.  He motioned for Sky and Tiny to join him, and they did so with Tiny taking the other chair and Sky standing in front of the fireplace where he could keep an eye on the still figure on the bed.  “All right,” Geoff said firmly.  “Start at the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”

************

“Ow!  Goddamn it... that hurts!”  Randi lay back down on the slab, clutching her chest and focusing her thoughts on breathing.  Gwen eased her back down and gestured to her torso.

“Do you mind?”

Randi looked at her with hurt clearly showing from eyes that had darkened to grey in the candlelight.  “You have to ask?  After all we’ve been through together you have to ask?” pulling away slightly.

Gwen reached for her, stopping her motion before Randi could completely turn away.  “After all we’ve been through, this is why I asked.  You’ve been withdrawing from me for months, Love.  I understand why now... at least a little, but I learned to stay out of your personal space.  You made it clear I wasn’t welcome.”

Randi moved so quickly she had to seize her chest and grasp the side of the slab as bolts of agony ripped through her body.  Gwen didn’t hesitate this time but curled her body around Randi’s, lending her strength and balance.  Randi lay there for long moments, absorbing the love and warmth she felt from Gwen and reconciling that with the pain she felt physically in her chest and emotionally in her heart.  Gwen’s words had sent a cold chill down her spine and she was grateful that Gwen’s warmth seemed to be chasing that chill away.

For her part, Gwen simply relished the feeling of being close to her soulmate once more after what felt like a lifetime of distance.  In some ways it had been worse than when Randi had died because this time she had been right there and yet... untouchable.  Gwen gently stroked the dark hair and whispered words of comfort in Randi’s ear and gradually she felt the stiff body relax beneath her.  But when Randi reached for her hand and tangled their fingers together, Gwen knew without a doubt that they would be all right.

How long they lay like that was irrelevant, much as time itself was in this place.  But it felt good and it felt right and for the time being that was enough.  Eventually Randi turned in Gwen’s arms, releasing her hand so she could reach up and stroke her face tenderly.  “Gwen, did I... did I... hurt... you?”

Gwen returned the facial clasp, keeping her eyes pinned to blue so Randi could see the truth in them.  “No, Love... not physically.  My pain came from not understanding....” nudging Randi’s chin when her eyes closed.  “Hey,” she coaxed kindly.  “Randi, look at me.  Yes, it hurt and it made me angry, and I’m not going to lie to you about that.  I promised you I would never lie to you as long as it was in my power to tell you the truth.  But now I understand better, and it hurts a lot less.”

“I’m sorry, Gwen.  I never meant....”

“It’s all right, Love.”

The dark head shook.  “No.  It was me who sent you away.  I didn’t want you to be hurt so I sent you away.  And you got hurt anyway.”

Gwen smiled wryly.  “My protector.  Sometimes we just can’t control things like we want to, huh?” pushing dark bangs off of Randi’s forehead.  “C’mon, can you sit up?”  Randi pushed up slowly, glad the pain she’d experienced before had settled into a dull ache.  “You all right so far?”  Randi nodded and began unbuttoning the shirt she wore.  Gwen moved the candle closer, gasping sharply when she glimpsed the damage down the centerline of Randi’s torso.  She covered her mouth and just stopped herself from reaching out.  “Oh God, Love!  Are you... what happened??”

Randi caught her hand and placed it carefully on an undamaged bit of skin. Gwen made slow teasing circles almost unconsciously and Randi smiled at how quickly the pain receded under that touch.  “Ares,” she finally answered succinctly, pulling herself from the haze that Gwen’s contact had caused throughout her body.  Blonde brows hiked into a blonde hairline.

“I guess we really do have a lot to talk about.”

************

“Are you sure about this, Reed?  I mean, if Gwen has already joined Randi in her dreamscape, what makes you think you can reach Gwen through her own?  And even if you do find Gwen, you can’t go poking around in Randi’s mind for a multitude of reasons.”  Lacey grabbed Reed by the arm.  “Reed, are you listening to me?”

Reed caught Lacey’s hands in her own and focused her gray eyes and considerable personality on the doctor.  Where she wanted to be frustrated she couldn’t because Lacey only showed her genuine caring and confusion over the current situation.  Lacey felt Reed’s sigh of resignation and moved them slightly away from the preparation area that Rosie was busy staking out around Gwen.  The shamaness had to set things up to channel the energy Reed would need to draw on from the seers now surrounding the cottage.  She wasn’t about to get involved with the current discussion running between the two Sabres.

Reed and Lacey moved into the small kitchen area still clutching hands, and each could feel the tension rolling off the other.  This was by far the riskiest, most dangerous mission they had ever undertaken, and after the fighting and destroying they had done in the last few months, that was saying an awful lot.  Neither of them wanted to have come this far just to lose.  Reed nodded at Lacey and sighed a second time.  “Yes, I was listening.  What do you see as our obstacles?”  Lacey blinked at her astounded.  Reed smiled at her wryly, despite the seriousness of their situation.  “I need to know – perhaps it is something we already have a solution to or can work around.”

Lacey nodded.  “Right.  First concern is Randi’s mind.  If you couldn’t find your way to her hiding place when she gave you permission to look around, do you really think you have a chance against what she will view as a threat?  Especially since we all have our own safeguards in place to protect ourselves from giving up secrets willingly?  What truly concerns me is the fact that she seems to be existing there... at least part of her is, and that could be particularly dangerous to you both.”

Reed nodded thoughtfully.  “Go on.”

“My other concern is obviously how you intend to reach Gwen.  If she and Randi are in Randi’s mind, in her dreamscape, how do you intend to find her and show her the way to the safe place in her own?  There are so many risks and variables to this, Reed.”

“I know, but we have to work to give Gwen a safe place.  It is my firm belief that if... when... she and Randi make it through the darkness together, Gwen is still going to want to bring Randi into her own world for a while.  They need to have a place prepared where they can recover and Gwen knows this.”

“And they can’t do that in just any nice dreamscape they can conjure up?”

Reed shook her head.  “Not this time.  They’re going to need support.”

“So any ideas how to find them?”

“Well,” Reed answered honestly, “I think we need to go ahead and set up the support system like we discussed.  Gwen is fully aware of what the plan was.  With any amount of luck, she will retain that knowledge and will come looking for us.  Then we won’t have to go looking, and we won’t have to go into Randi’s mind without invitation.”

Lacey nodded.  “If you think it’s for the best I’ll keep an eye on both your vitals.  Wouldn’t do to have something happen to either of you during this little exercise.”  She cleared her throat.  “Sorry about before.”

“No worries – I expect you to bring up points of concern like that.  It’s what makes you so damn good at your job.  But we’ve got to do this.”

Lacey nodded.  “All right.  Let’s get started.”

************

Gwen was pacing silently – four paces up... four paces back.  She hadn’t wanted to give up her spot next to Randi, but her words made Gwen so antsy she decided to pace.  So to continue the tactile contact she craved, Gwen ran her hands lightly up Randi’s prone body as she walked back and forth.  For her part, Randi felt the touch fill a hole in her soul she hadn’t realized was there until she was whole once again, and she savored the healing it provided her.

Finally Gwen stopped moving and perched on the slab next to Randi’s hips, then she caught the long fingers in her own and lifted them to her lips.  She sighed and reached hesitantly towards Randi’s injured body.  Randi read her intent and ignoring her own pain, pulled Gwen into her embrace.  She draped Gwen over her body into their preferred position.  Gwen felt Randi’s body shift and tense then release a big sigh.

“Sweetheart, are you all right?”  She made a move to ease off Randi and felt the strong arms close around her more tightly.

“Stay, please.  I’ve... I’ve missed having you here.  It’s worth a little pain to feel you back where you belong.”

Gwen smiled and gently placed her head back on Randi’s shoulder, snuggling into her spot with a feeling of decadent pleasure.  “I’ve missed this too.”  There was silence for a time after that as both women simply absorbed the feeling of love and contentment that coursed through them.  But it couldn’t last and they knew it and eventually Gwen leaned up on an elbow so green eyes could meet blue.  “So let me see if I’ve got this straight.  This whole thing - my kidnapping by Ben; your poisoning; your subsequent memory losses – all of this was so Ares could try to gain control of the warrior part of you?  Thinking... hoping... that it would give him control of all of you?”

“Best as I can figure out, yeah,” Randi confirmed.  “It took me a while to put it all together once he managed to completely separate me from myself.  It was like... I really was two different people and one didn’t know what the other was doing.  And I’m still not clear on what happened.  Apparently the Empress part of me knew she couldn’t hide her memories here so she created her own hiding place.  We’ll have to go find them.”

“Okay, so what happened that caused this?” motioning to Randi’s still wounded chest.  “How did you piss him off?”

Randi smiled.  “I denied him his victory.  I figured out that I had to come to him willingly and offer him parts of me that weren’t mine to give.  He can’t simply take from me.  I have to want him in my life, and I don’t.”  Green eyes were an interesting phenomenon, Randi mused, especially when they were backlit with the fires of jealousy.  But it created a solid warmth in her belly to feel Gwen’s possessiveness surround her once more.

“Excuse me....” Gwen’s voice was low and surprisingly deep.  “That lousy son of a bitch has plagued our lives for the past year, put us through hell and damnation itself because he wants to take my place in your heart and in your bed??  I’ll kill the bastard myself.”  Her nostrils flared as she tried to get her temper under some semblance of control.

Randi chuckled and winced in pain, grabbing her chest as she continued to laugh.  “Oh, Gwen,” she said, cupping her face with her free hand.  “Do you have any idea just how fabulous that makes me feel... especially after everything we have been through together since this started?”

Gwen smiled and blushed adorably.  “That was presumptuously possessive of me, wasn’t it?  Sor....”

Her apology was cut off mid-word as Randi’s fingertips covered her lips.  “Don’t you dare be sorry.  I want you to always feel that presumptuously possessive.  God knows I do.”

Gwen’s blush deepened, but she maintained eye contact.  “So that’s why he tried to turn you into a crispy critter... because you told him no?”

“Actually, I told him to go away.  Then he proceeded to give me a whopper of a headache and try to fry my insides.”

“Um, not that I’m not thrilled about this little fact, but um... does he know he failed or...?”

“Oh yeah... he wasn’t trying to kill me.  He’s still convinced I’ll call for him and join him.  Even if I wanted to, which I don’t,” she added firmly, “I couldn’t give him what he wants, and he just doesn’t get that.  You own me – body, heart and soul – and I can’t give away what’s not mine.”

“Well, he’s damn sure not going to get it from me,” Gwen muttered through gritted teeth.  Then she looked up at Randi with concerned eyes.  “But that means he’s going to come back for you again.”

“Yes, it does,” Randi agreed seriously.  “But we’ll be together this time, and he will be defeated once and for all.”

“Peace at last?”

“Peace at last,” Randi affirmed.  “Figures we have to walk through the fires of hell itself first.”

Gwen sighed though there was a trace of a smile in her voice.  “It’s never easy with us, is it?”

Randi shuddered and Gwen realized almost immediately that she was shaking in silent laughter as gently as she could manage.  She smiled in sympathy.  “My mother used to say the same thing to my father though they never had issues like we do.”

Now Gwen laughed.  “I like that.  Ares is an issue.”

“Well, that’s not all he is, but that description will suffice for now.”  Randi shifted and struggled to sit up with a groan.  Gwen read her intention and scooted around to help her, watching her with worried green eyes.

“You all right, Love?  I didn’t think you could feel physical pain here.”

Randi shook her head.  “I’ve never been able to before thankfully.  I wonder if it’s because a god did this directly.”  She took a deep breath and gingerly slid from the slab to the floor.  “However, we’re on a mission.  We need to find those memories and work through them.”  She clutched her head as another agonizing pain lance through her skull.  “And somehow,” she mumbled as Gwen took her arm and picked up the candle.  “I don’t think this is gonna be a moonlight and roses kinda picnic.”

“That’s okay,” Gwen reassured as she wrapped her arm firmly around Randi’s waist.  “I’ll bring the candle, and we’ll have a candlelit dinner instead.”

Randi smile was so big it nearly lit up the darkness itself.  “You’re something else, you know that?”

Gwen returned her look and her smile turned wry.  “I know.  The real question is what am I exactly.”

“Wife, lover, best friend, confidante, companion, soulmate,” giving Gwen back her own words.  “And that’s just what you are to me.  Doesn’t take into account any of the things you are to yourself or others, you know... like Queen, bard, teacher, warrior, taste tester,” the last added with another grin.  It earned Randi a slap on the butt.  “Oof!  Well, you are.  Ella’s not nearly as enthusiastic about allowing the rest of us to try new stuff until you give it a thumbs up.”

Gwen pretended to be miffed and stuck her nose into the air.  “Some of us are more culinarily inclined than others.”

“Culinarily inclined... is that even a real word?  Heh... some of you just enjoy eating more... Oof!” as she got lightly popped on the ass once more. “Hey, watch the merchandise.  I bruise easily, ya know,” rubbing the afflicted spot.

“Be nice to me,” Gwen growled, relishing the teasing in a way she hadn’t expected.  It had been a long time since they had indulged in such play and she hadn’t realized how much she had missed it until its return just now.  She looked around in the darkness, unable to see anything beyond the small circle of light the candle cast.  “Where are we going anyway?”

Randi looked around slowly.  “I’m not completely sure honestly.  I’m looking for those hidden memories, but I’m going mostly on instinct.  I don’t actually know where they are, but I’m hoping something will occur to me as familiar soon.”

Gwen gestured forward with the candle.  “Lay on, MacDuff.”

Randi’s arm tightened around Gwen’s shoulders, and she smiled when Gwen’s arm tensed reflexively around her waist.  She tilted her head down and brushed a kiss over the fair hair beneath her chin.  “Uh uh,” she replied.  “I’m not leading and you’re not following.  This we do together walking side by side.”

This time Gwen squeezed hard and it was the most painfully, wonderful experience Randi could recall in the months since things had started falling apart. She grunted softly and returned the embrace in full measure.  Abruptly Gwen pulled away.  “Sorry, Love,” she apologized hastily.  “I forgot abo....”  She stopped speaking when Randi tugged her closer again.  Then she cleared her throat.  “I like the sound of that, you know.  Walking side by side with you is where I always want to be.”  Randi smiled at the sentiment, then suddenly grasped her head in her hands and fell to her knees.  Gwen followed rapidly and held on, rocking them gently and kneading the back of Randi’s neck with expert hands.  The knots she found there were unnerving, but she continued her ministrations until she felt Randi’s body slowly relax against her.  “Sweetheart?  What happened?  Are you all right now?”

Randi didn’t speak for several long moments after dropping to her knees.  One reason was that being held against Gwen’s body was such a good feeling she didn’t want to give it up.  But the flip side of that reality was that the ache in her head was truly excruciating and the flashes of images that flitted through her consciousness only added to her pain and confusion.  When she was relatively sure her head wouldn’t roll off her shoulders if she moved it, Randi nodded gently, then drew a deep breath to speak.  “I think we’re near the source of the hidden memories, or at least I hope we are.  I really don’t want to know if there are other things here that could cause me this kind of agony.”  She raised her head slowly and peered into the darkness.  “Can you hold the candle up, Love?  Can you see anything?”

Gwen picked the candle up from when she had hastily dropped it when Randi crumpled.  She moved it around in every direction, but there was nothing to be seen beyond the small circle of light save more shadows and obscurity.  “I don’t see anything, Stud, except more darkness.  You want me to search around a little...?”

“NO!” Randi cut in fiercely, then blushed so hard Gwen felt it against her skin in the gloom.  She cleared her throat.  “Side by side, remember?”

Gwen nodded and kissed the dark head snuggled into her neck.  “I remember.  Are you able to stand up?”

Randi nodded and blew out a breath.  “I think so, as long as we go slowly.”

Not only did they go slowly but Gwen did her best to help, and in short order they were standing on shaky legs again.  Randi took the candle from Gwen and moved it slowly in a circle, hoping for more than its meager illumination to give her some clue as to where they needed to go.  Finally she sighed and moved in the direction that felt right, and gradually they found a second marble slab.

Gwen released a held breath and patted Randi’s side.  “Good instincts there, Warrior.  Now what?”

Randi eased her body down onto the slab in a sitting position and patted the spot beside her.  Gwen slid into place and rested her head on Randi’s shoulder, gratified when the dark head rested on hers and their arms went around one another instinctively.  “Now I learn how bad the last few months have been, and we figure out where to go from here.”

“I’ll be honest with you, Randi.  What you’re gonna see is not good – I mean....”  Gwen tightened her grip when Randi stiffened.  “What you accomplished is nothing short of amazing.  How you did it however....”

“Is that why you left me?  Because of the horrible things I did?”

“No, Randi.  I explained this to you.  I left because it was time... because you needed to make a decision about who you are and who you want to be.  We’re here together because you chose us over Ares, and with that decision comes the consequence of having to accept responsibility for your actions.  I won’t leave you again unless YOU decide we will no longer be together.  I promised you forever, and I meant it.”

Randi threaded her hands into Gwen’s short, blonde head and gently enticed her closer until their lips were a breath’s whisper apart.  “Ares has no chance where I am concerned because I won’t give us up,” she said with a small smile before capturing the full lips with her own.  Then they spent long moments reaffirming their bond together.  Gwen could actually feel Randi’s strength and confidence returning.

“Feel better?” she asked as they separated for air.  “’Cause I sure do.”

Randi chuckled and hugged Gwen close.  “That always makes me feel better and so does this.”

Gwen patted her sides as she returned the hug.  “Good, because we need to get to work.  The sooner we do this, the sooner we can move on.”

“I’m all for that.  I have a lifetime to spend with you, and amazingly, ruling the world doesn’t fit into those plans.”  She slid off the slab and moved over to what appeared to be a series of file cabinets.  “Do you know when I should start looking... how far back I should go?”

“Do you know when exactly you were infected?  Or can you determine where the gaps are in your memory?”

Randi gently stroked her face.  “There are no gaps.  My mind just strings things together to cover the time that is missing.  What Reed called editing – she can see them because she is watching them from an observer’s point of view.”  She scratched her face again, then looked at Gwen.  “Your kidnapping – I’ll bet this goes back to your kidnapping.  Something Ben said - things will never be the same between you ever again – I thought at the time he was referring to the fact that he had stolen your memories, but now....  I wonder if... I think he did something that helped give Ares the control he needed to allow me to separate myself to do what I did.”  Randi blinked her eyes.  “Does that make sense?”

Gwen nodded.  “Far more than you know.”  She looked around at the drawers and creased her forehead.  “And I think you’re right.  Start with my kidnapping.  Knowing you, everything is filed chronologically and it should be easy to follow once we start.”

Randi agreed and quickly searched through each memory date until she found her starting place.  Then she stiffened her back and steeled herself to open the first book.


Chapter IV

“How’s she doing, Rosie?” Lacey asked as she continued to monitor Reed’s and Gwen’s vital signs.  Everything looked good on her end so far, but she knew the shamaness had a literal feel for what Reed was experiencing.  Even Lacey could feel the power that ran between them and she had a fleeting desire to wonder how that felt.  Then remembering the one mind walk Reed had done on her, decided she really didn’t need to know.

Rosie turned towards the doctor and Lacey gasped in surprise.  She’d expected to see warm brown eyes facing her and instead found glowing golden orbs in their place.  Rosie couldn’t stop the smile that formed.  “She’s good. Her aura is very strong as is Gwen’s and the support her tribe is providing is amazing.”

“I...um, see... that.”  Lacey blinked and leaned in for a closer look.  “Does that... hurt?”

Rosie blinked.  “No.  It’s... well, it’s hard to describe.  I can feel Reed’s strength and the power of her tribe, and I can sense distinct auras.  Reed’s and Gwen’s the most strongly of course but also yours, mine, the tribe, and in a very distant way, Randi’s.  This is a reflection of all of that.”

“So things are all right?  I mean, on that level?  Even Randi?”

“Even Randi,” Reed answered as she slowly opened eyes that glowed a weird silver color.  “The vague uneasiness I sense from her has to do with what she is going to be facing because I also sense a renewed joy and peace in her that has been missing for quite a while.”  Reed leaned up out of Rosie’s embrace and Lacey placed her hands over Gwen’s wrists and moved them from Reed’s.  Then both seer and shamaness eased away from Gwen in what seemed a choreographed dance with Rosie never losing tactile contact with Reed until they had slipped completely from the bed.

Lacey turned and adjusted two of the transmitters on Reed’s body, nodding her head when their readings changed and fell into more acceptable parameters.  Then she gave a cursory look at the readings she continued to receive from Gwen.  Seeing they were perfectly normal, she rose and stretched, glad for the excuse to do so.  “So now what?”

“Well, everything is in place and the safe room is set up, and right now Randi and Gwen seem to be relaxed together somewhere in Randi’s mind.  So I’m going to take a pee break and grab a quick bite because when it comes I imagine the fallout to Randi’s self-discovery could take quite a while, and we’ll be stuck then.”

“Is there anything else I can be doing?” Lacey asked.  “I mean... I’m just sitting here.”

Reed walked into the bathroom, but kept the door slightly open as she continued to talk.  “That is so critically important, Lacey.  They have to survive this, together and intact for us to succeed.  It is the only way for Ares to be truly defeated once and for all.”

She sighed in relief and flushed, chuckling when Lacey nearly knocked her out of the way in her haste to get in.  “Note to self: no more coffee.”  Reed’s chuckling became full-fledged laughter.

Rosie had remained to keep and eye on Gwen, and as soon as Lacey exited the bathroom she took her turn.  The Sabre medic returned to her post by Gwen’s bedside, looking over the monitors and checking to make sure Gwen was comfortable.  She noticed a glitch in the readings and frowned, making a notation in the chart and continuing to check Gwen’s vitals.  She felt Gwen shiver and her eyes began to move rapidly behind her eyelids.

“Reed?”

“Mmph... yeth?” trying to chew, swallow and answer at the same time.

“Reed, you better come look.  I think there is something more going on now than just relaxing together.”

Immediately Reed and Rosie were both at Gwen’s bedside.  They took in her rapid breathing and her pale complexion and immediately resumed their places as seer and support.  Lacey put Gwen’s hands on top of Reed’s as soon as Rosie had hers underneath and the trio settled in for a long wait.

************

“You’re kidding me.  She actually blew Ares off to his face??  Not once but twice, and lived to tell about it??”  Geoff swiped a hand across his eyes.  “He must want her really badly.”

Tiny sighed.  “Yeah, but he wasn’t above hurting her pretty badly too,” turning his attention towards the bed where Randi still rested.  Sky had long since gone back to her side to keep vigil over her.  Aside from the activity in her mind that he could just sense on the edge of his awareness, something bothered him about the way her chest was healing – or to be more precise, the way it was not healing.

He’d expected the syn skin to take like it normally did... adhering to and becoming part of Randi’s own skin to aid and speed the healing process.  Instead it remained a separate entity – covering but not blending into Randi’s own skin.  And worse, the regen unit seemed incapable of repairing the damage Ares’ bolt had caused, at least with any sort of momentum.  So he sat and watched, monitoring her as well as he could without being inside her mind guiding her spirit walk.

Without warning, her breathing changed, becoming shallow and much faster, her pulse point fluttering and her eyes moving rapidly.  Her body didn’t move, but she tensed, and Sky could feel the anguish that suddenly permeated the air around her.

“Tiny!” Sky called softly, but with some urgency.

The big Sabre moved far more swiftly that someone of his size should have been able to manage, especially considering the stealth with which he accomplished it.  Geoff was still trying to get out of the chair by the time Tiny was sliding his body behind Randi’s on the bed.  He ran his arms underneath Randi’s, supporting them, then he extended her hands, palms up, for Sky to link to.  He had been well- schooled in the difference hand placement made to the task.

“What are you doing?” Geoff asked as he hobbled over towards the odd tableau unfolding before him.  He hadn’t been a Sabre long enough to do a mind walk before he was critically injured, and had no cognitive memory of one being done on him.  And he had believed the mere idea to be simple folklore.  Now he wondered.

Sky took a deep breath and laid his hands on Randi’s, gently clasping her wrists.  “Not what you’re thinking, my friend.  Since I cannot guide her spirit quest, my purpose for being here is to give Randi strength and support to face her demons.”

“You can do that?”

Sky smiled.  “I can do that.”

“Can I help?”

Sky eyes Geoff carefully, seeing that core of inner strength he’d needed to be able to walk again.  The shaman nodded.  “Yes,” he said finally.  “Place your hands on top of mine and I will channel all of our strength to Randi.”

It was a curious sensation, Geoff decided, though not an unpleasant one.  He could feel the power coming from Sky and Tiny and he perceived it being melded into one solid strength with his own as Sky directed it into Randi’s essence.  He had a vague notion to wonder how Randi felt on the receiving end, then concentrated his efforts on staying strong... for all of them.

************

For a very long moment, Randi held the book in her hand – afraid to move forward and afraid to move back.  There were no good choices any more, just different degrees of bad.  She started when Gwen came up behind her and placed a hand on her back.  Randi still hadn’t gotten adjusted to the fact that not only could Gwen be here in such a private place, but that she was so much a part of it all that she could catch Randi unawares.

For her part, Gwen kept her hand on Randi’s back, rubbing in light circles until she felt Randi begin to relax against her touch.  Then she eased the book from Randi’s reluctant hands.  The cover was non-descript... black leather with a date tooled into it.  The pages appeared to be old parchment, but there was a lock that prevented Gwen from opening it.  Instead she led Randi back to the slab and they sat side-by-side touching along their length.  Gwen turned the book over in her hands several times before returning her gaze to Randi.  “So how do you open it?”

Randi took the book into her hands and laid it gently in her lap, then she blew out a deep, frustrated breath.  This was harder than she’d imagined it would be.  And that was saying a lot because she had imagined it pretty difficult.  She chanced a look into Gwen’s eyes and saw nothing but love, understanding and support.  She closed her eyes and offered up a brief prayer to Aphrodite, hoping those same emotions would be reflected back to her still when this was all over.

Randi reached a hand down and traced the lock carefully, focusing her considerable will on it.  She’d never done this before – never felt the need to go back and revisit the memories she’d hidden away in these secret places.  There was a slight snick, and the locking flap fell away from the rest of the book, giving them both the ability to open and read.

Gwen restrained herself from reaching up and taking the book from Randi.  This was Randi’s quest, and as much as Gwen wanted to take it for her, Gwen could only provide whatever measure of support and comfort Randi would allow.

“I have to want it open,” Randi finally said aloud, startling them both in the silence.  The book remained closed, and Randi’s eyes remained glued to it.

Gwen chuckled a little nervously.  “Wow!  That’s a pretty good lock.”

Randi nodded, her dark hair covering her face, but Gwen could hear the nervous smile in her voice.  “Yeah, it is.  This is the first time I’ve ever come in here to unlock anything.  Always before it’s been to put things away.”  She lifted a hand to push the hair away from her face and noticed it was trembling.  Gwen caught it in her own before Randi could hide it.

Blue eyes met green for a timeless moment.  “Always, Randi.  I promised you that.”

“Even if...?”

“Even if.  You forget... I know what’s in some of those pages.  I lived through part of it, remember?  The rest we’ll deal with it as it comes.”

Randi gazed into those eyes a moment longer then nodded.  “Together?”

Gwen nodded.  “Together,” and slid the book across until it lay between them equally.  She still held Randi’s hand, and when she made a move to let go of it Randi held on tighter.  Gwen offered Randi a smile then and reached for the cover, opening the tome while Randi kept it from sliding away from them.  Gwen blinked twice.  “This is...  you wrote.  You came and sat here and hand wrote these memories out?”

Randi nodded and chewed her lip slightly.  “That’s how I exorcise them.  By writing everything out, I put in every single detail, and it transfers from my mind to the page.  When I’m done, I lock it away forever.”

“Until now.” 

Randi nodded. “Until now,” she agreed softly.  She took a deep breath, and began reading. 

    I was retuning from the infirmary.  The pain in my face was agonizing, but when I saw Jerry, our supposed leader trolling along, I got angry, and things got very personal.  I decided he needed to suffer some too, and I was just the person to make him pay.
    It was too easy.  I slid into the shadows behind him and he never saw me until he felt the knife pierce his gut. Jerry started to walk through clearly marked gang territory and he allowed himself to become distracted.  The lack of attention cost him dearly, and he found himself pinned to the nearest polymer wall with a twelve-inch blade through his middle.
    He closed his eyes, trying to center himself, then reopened them and tried to focus.  There was nothing but a black-clad form in front of him, and blearily he realized this was his attacker though he never knew who I was.  When I spoke to him in a whisper, he shuddered at the sound.
    “You owe me, Jerry, and the time has come for you to pay up.”  Swiftly he saw the light reflected off his own blade before it cut off his head in one fell swoop.  Then I picked up the head, and with a single thrust pushed the sword through his forehead and into the wall.  “The scavengers can have what’s left now.”
    It took a moment to strip off the outfit that covered me from head to toe and another to dump it into the nearest incinerator.  Then I stumbled into the park and collapsed.

The book slid away from them as Randi crumpled onto the slab.  Gwen started to reach for it until she realized Randi was falling as well.  Then the book dropped to the floor and she held on to her keening soulmate.  Randi wasn’t sure whether to hold Gwen tighter to her or push her away from what she saw herself as.  Gwen took the choice from her when she simply wrapped her body around Randi’s and held on for dear life.

They lay there together holding on tightly to one another as they processed what they had both just learned.  For Gwen, the events Randi had read about weren’t really that shocking – not given what she had lived through and seen with her own eyes.  Gwen had seen many facets of her warrior’s personality since they had become part of one another, and she knew far too well just what depths Randi was capable of reaching... in love, in intelligence, in discipline and in violence. 

Randi, on the other hand, was struggling with the knowledge that she had killed, had murdered, the former Sabre Commandant.  That was beyond the code.  Totally unacceptable behavior for a Sabre, no matter the reason.  In the midst of this argument with herself, Randi felt herself infused with warmth... not just from Gwen but from outside as though it was being channeled to her from another source.  Gwen lifted her head from Randi’s back and looked down into a face filled with pain and confusion.  She lifted a hand up to tenderly wipe the trace of tears from Randi’s cheeks, gratified when she leaned into Gwen’s touch.

“Randi?  I know this is hard.  I’d like to tell you it’s going to get easier, but it isn’t.  But, Sweetheart, I need you to understand and remember something for me.  Everything that you read about is in the past.  It’s already happened and there is nothing you can do to change it or make it better.  We have to accept it and move on.”

Randi sat up rapidly and brought Gwen with her.  Then she grabbed the bard by the arms and turned to face her.  “Accept it?!?  Gwen, I can’t accept this!  It was cold-blooded murder!  I committed the cold-blooded murder of a man I had sworn to obey.”

“Randi, let go.  You’re hurting me.”  Randi pulled away so swiftly and forcefully one would have thought her hands were on fire.  Only Gwen’s quick grab of Randi’s hands kept them both from tumbling backwards.  “Don’t you pull away from me, Miranda Valiant.  We promised together and you’re not backing out just because it starts out hard.” 

“I hurt you.”

Gwen smiled.  “Nothing that won’t heal, Love.  Now listen, yes, you did those things, but I want you to think about something.”  She waited a long moment for the dark head to nod.  “Good, now listen.  As a warrior, isn’t it part of the code to vanquish all those who oppose or hinder the greater good?  To destroy those who try to destroy those you have sworn to protect and defend?”

“Yes, but....”

“Randi, regardless of the fact that he helped you rescue me from Ben, he contributed, no matter how unwittingly, to my being in that situation in the first place.  Just like he was a huge factor in the whole Ghost Rider thing.  I mean, he caused it - created Ghost Rider and then let it continue for how long?  His inability to take care of problems that were his responsibility hindered the greater good, didn’t it?  Allowed the destruction of those you’d sworn to protect and defend??”  It was completely silent as Randi processed Gwen’s words.  Then her head slowly bobbed up and down in agreement.  She opened her mouth, but Gwen’s fingers covered her lips before she could speak.  “Even though it wasn’t done on a combat mission, wasn’t his execution similar to others who were guilty of the same crimes?”  Another bob.  “Now I want you to think about one more thing, all right?  Randi, remember the warrior part of you was in complete control – no mercy, no compassion, only justice. Jerry’s death was very personal to you because he had caused you so much personal grief.  Yet you behaved exactly as a warrior would with an enemy out in the field.  His death was quick and clean.  If you had been in complete control and you’d been given an order to do the same out in the field, the result would have been the same.”

“Are you saying you think it was right?”

“I’m saying you behaved exactly as the warrior you are has been trained to, and you eliminated a threat.  Right or wrong, Love, you did follow that code of honor to which you and your fellow Sabres hold so dearly.  It’s not my call to make; it never has been.  But it is your choice to accept and believe it.  Just know that I have never stopped believing in you.”

Randi didn’t say a word, but wrapped Gwen in her arms and nuzzled into her neck.  Gwen bit her lips to keep from chuckling until butterfly kisses were added to the sensatory barrage of warm breath and nibbling lips.  Then her chuckles became laughter and Randi squeezed tighter in sheer joy.  She’d never expected to retain Gwen’s belief in her... not after what she’d obviously done to bring Gwen to the point of leaving her.  For now though, Gwen was here and in her arms, and that more than anything soothed her soul and gave her back a measure of peace she’d been missing for far too long.  Eventually they turned and stretched out on the slab, emotionally drained.  They never realized when they fell into a light doze and went in search of the warmth they felt sustaining them from outside their shared bond.

************

“Gwen?”

“Reed?  What are you doing here?”  Gwen looked around carefully. “Um... where is here, anyway?”

“This is a place in your mind that I’ve sealed off as a safe place for you and Randi to come.”  Gwen’s brow furrowed.  “Do you remember how we discussed that when you started on your spirit walk, we would create a safe haven for you to escape to and rest as you needed to?  Well, this is it.”

“But we’re not on our spirit walk yet.  You and Sky are supposed to guide us.”

“Well, that was the plan, yes,” Reed corroborated wryly.  “But it seems you and Randi had other ideas, and it’s not safe for you or us to enter once you’ve started.”

“So you mean us going through her recent past together...?”

“That’s your spirit walk, yes.  It will either cement your bond or destroy it, but my money is on you and Randi,” Reed hastened to confirm at Gwen’s raised eyebrow and glowering gaze.

“Then how did you do this?  And how are we able to meet here?

Reed sat down on the green grass, leaning her back against the tree and dangling her feet in the cool, clear water of the stream that burbled by.  She tugged on Gwen’s hand, and the bard dropped down beside her.  ”I was able to do this because we talked about it, and you were agreeable to the idea.  On a subconscious level you knew I was going to come in and prepare this place and you let me.”

“I let you?  Does that mean I could have stopped you?”

Reed shrugged.  “Well, you could have made it very clear that I was not welcome.  That would have pretty much put an end to it.”

Gwen looked around.  “I’m glad I didn’t. I like it here.”  And indeed the safe place that Reed has created for them resembled their private glade in amazingly accurate detail.  “But that still doesn’t explain how we are able to meet in this place,” turning back to the conversation at hand.

Reed smiled.  “You came looking for me, actually.”  Gwen’s brow creased again as she stared in confusion.  Reed patted her hand.  “You felt warmth and strength emanating from outside your bond with Randi, yes?  And you went looking for it.” Gwen nodded.  “Rosie and I are channeling that strength to you, and when you reached this place I was here waiting for you, knowing you had questions... and answers for that matter.”

“Answers?”

“Sure.  How are ya’ll doing?”

Gwen smiled.  “Oh... those kinds of answers.”  She chewed her lip as she thought about it a minute, wanting to be as honest as possible.  “It’s hard,” she finally said simply.  “There’s a lot there that we’re going to have to work through, but at least we’re doing it together.  That makes all the difference,” she finished with a smile.  “It’s gonna take longer than we expected though because some of this goes back further than I realized.”  Reed cocked an eyebrow in question, but Gwen let it pass unanswered.  They sat in silence for a little while, absorbing the warmth of what appeared to be the sun and enjoying the slight breeze that blew over them.  The Gwen turned to Reed with her own question.  “Why isn’t Randi here with us?”

“Because you didn’t bring her.”

“Excuse me?”

“Gwen, this safe place is in your mind.  She doesn’t know about it.  What were you doing when you found yourself here?

“Um... we had been talking about what she read, and then we just kind of... fell asleep?  I went searching for the warmth I could feel coming from outside myself. And when I opened my eyes again, I was here and so were you.  But no Randi.”

“Tell you what... next time you go searching for warmth, bring her with you.  Let her know where you’re going and what you’re doing and bring her with you.  If she knows where you’re going, she’ll follow.”

“You think?”

“Yeah.  Now close your eyes and go back to her.  There is a lot more work to do before we can all be done and go home.”

Gwen nodded and complied, closing her eyes and letting her heart guide her back to Randi.  “Home,” she murmured as she drifted off.  “I sure do like the sound of that.”

The sounds of the trickling stream and the feel of the breeze that caressed her skin drifted away as she opened her eyes in the darkness once more, but the warmth remained steady and constant.  Gwen lay still for long moments absorbing the sensations of having Randi wrapped around her.  She’d missed this so much.  She just squeezed and held on tighter.

“I love you, too,” came the whispered words in her ear.  “Easy though, Love.  My chest is still pretty sore.”

Gwen gasped and would have pulled away had it not been for the strong arms that held her tightly in place.  “Sorry,” mumbled into Randi’s neck.  “I forgot.”

Randi smiled and kissed the blonde head.  “Don’t apologize.  It’s worth any amount of pain to have you here again.  I think it’s actually helping.”

Gwen raised her head slightly and met Randi’s eyes.  “Helping?  What do you mean?”

Randi shrugged.  “I can’t explain it, but having you here makes it feel better.   Dunno if it’s healing or whatever, but it doesn’t hurt as much.”

“Except when I squeeze too hard.”

“Except when Ares tries to roast me like a marshmallow.  You’re not big enough to squeeze too hard otherwise,” Randi teased with a smile, knowing it would get a rise out of Gwen and pull her out of the doldrums she seemed to be settling into.

Green eyes narrowed dangerously and Gwen leaned up on an elbow to catch a smirking expression cross Randi’s face.  “Was that a short joke, hmm?” she purred.  “Or maybe you think I’m a creampuff.  I got muscles, you know,” flexing an arm and watching the bicep obligingly bulge.  “See that??  That’s functional; it’s not just there for looks.”

Randi took Gwen’s words for an invitation and slowly tracked up their entwined bodies, lingering on each muscle group as her eyes touched them. A slow smile crept across her face as she watched the blush follow behind her gaze.  “I dunno,” she commented lazily.  “I kinda like what I’m seeing here.  It looks really good.”

Gwen glared at Randi, but the frank adoration she saw back of the gentle teasing melted any aggravation she felt and she snuggled back down into Randi’s arms, mindful of the damaged chest.  “That’s not fair.”

Randi closed her eyes and relished the feeling of wellbeing. “What’s not, Love?” she murmured in contentment.

“Taking away a really good mad like that.  Picking on me because I’m a short creampuff and then turning those beautiful eyes on me and... YIKES!”

Gwen felt herself lifted into the air above Randi’s torso then gently lowered onto her chest despite the burns still highly evident there.  “My eyes are beautiful because they’re looking at you, Gwen.  They reflect you.  Now you’re not short; you’re just the right height, see?  You fit perfectly right where you belong.  As for the creampuff comment, I never said you were a creampuff.  I simply said I liked the way you looked.”

“Good thing, that.  Would you like me if I was ugly?”

Randi wondered where the sudden bout of insecurity about her looks was coming from, but hastened to assure Gwen of a fundamental truth.  “Sweetheart, you would never, ever be ugly to me.  Because I know what’s in your heart and your soul is a part of mine.  Those things make you beautiful to me above and beyond your outer good looks though you are certainly no slouch in that department either.”

“Hey who’s the poet in this relationship?” the bard asked teasingly.  “You keep this up, I’m going to have to go do something radical. Like become a bona fide Amazon or something.”

“You’re an awesome Amazon, Love.  You’re already kickass with the staff.”

“You’re just trying to humor me.”

Now Randi’s voice grew serious.  “Not about this, Love.  That is a hard earned skill, and one that could save your life.”

“You really think so?  You think I’m that good?  Good enough to be an Amazon?”

“I know you are and so do you.  You tried to kick my butt, remember?  Besides... you in leather?  Please.  Like I’m gonna try to dissuade you from letting me have that visual in the flesh?!  I am many things, but stupid is not tattooed on my forehead.”

Gwen chuckled, feeling better about herself than she had since they’d moved to the capital city.  “I love you.”

“I love you too, my bard.  I guess we need to get up and go to the next book, hmm?”

Gwen nodded underneath Randi’s chin.  “Yes.  I think I know what it’s going to be about.”

“Oh?” after a moments silence.  “You wanna share?”

“I think it will be about what happened on our honeymoon.  I remember you losing consciousness then, and I think that has something to do with the times you close yourself off in here to purge your memories.  Let’s look and then we can go to the safe room that Reed has prepared for us in my mind.  I think we could both use a little time in the light.”

“Can we do that?  I mean, can I cross into your mind like that?”

“Sure, why not?  I’m here in yours and I found the way alone. You just have to walk with me.”

Randi smiled, and though unseen Gwen felt it clearly in her voice.  “I’d like that.  I’ll walk with you anywhere, anytime.”  She gently urged Gwen up and followed her carefully until they were both sitting upright once more.  “Let me get the next volume, and we’ll see if you guessed right.”

She stepped down cautiously, mindful of the fact that the first book had fallen off her lap earlier.  Randi looked around thoroughly, finally spotting it face down on the floor, half-hidden in the darkness near the file cabinets.  She picked it up and flipped it over, intent on closing and locking it back to put away for safekeeping.  Then she froze.  The book no longer had a lock.  It no longer had writing.  Even as she held it in her hands, it lost its form and simply disintegrated, leaving not even a trail of ash in its wake to mark its passage.  Randi stood staring at her empty hands in disbelief until Gwen caught them in her own.  She looked up to find green eyes sparkling at her in sheer joy.

“This is wonderful, Randi.  You’ve faced it and come out on the other side.  You don’t need the book to hold and hide the memory for you any longer.  It’s yours now.”

Randi nodded slowly, realizing that what Gwen said was absolutely true.  She had claimed the memory back and it was now part and parcel of who she was.  She couldn’t give it back if she wanted to.  She could chose not to think about it, but it was still part of her psyche.  Hard as it had been to read about and accept her actions and the responsibility for them, it was oddly liberating, and she felt a lightening of a burden she hadn’t recognized that she carried until now.  Randi squeezed Gwen’s hand in affection, then released them and turned back to the cabinet, ready to retrieve the next volume for them to share together.


Chapter V

Randi grabbed the book and sat back down on the slab, absently wishing for a cushion of some type and then smiling affectionately down at Gwen when she snuggled up into her like she was Gwen’s own personal pillow.  “Comfortable?” she asked fondly.

“Yes, thank you,” shifting her butt on the hard marble.  “I tell you what - we need to do something about the amenities in this place because they are sorely lacking.  Although,” she added as she rubbed her sore behind, “I don’t think we will ever have to come back to this place once we finish this walk together.  There won’t be anything here to come back for.”

“That would be so amazing and very strange.  Now,” she continued before Gwen could voice her question.  “Let’s see if you guessed right.”

She concentrated a moment and the clasp unlocked with ease since her apprehension level had dropped a bit when Gwen’s conjecture about what this volume held.  This instance, if Gwen was proven correct, would not be as bad for two reasons.  They both already knew at least part of what had occurred and it had been done for honorable reasons without question.  The tome fell open, and Randi began to read.

    I went to the barn.  What Sky said... what he had so obviously seen scared me quite frankly, and I needed to get a grip on the turmoil that fear stirred in my gut.  Finally I realized how unfair it had been to Gwen for me to just walk away with no explanation and I decided to brave the cold back to the restaurant.  But that lovely sixth sense – the Sabre sense that has kept me alive through impossible odds – caused me to stop at the door.  The eerie silence caused a prickling to run up my spine and my hair stood on end.  There was no sound... none.  Even the natural sounds were gone save the slight whistle of the wind.  I was peripherally aware of the scar burning even as the red wash of rage coursed through my veins.  I felt the physical change from loving, tender soulmate of Gwen Goldman to deadly Sabre Miranda Valiant. It was easy... too easy. I slipped into the role I had played countless times before and without a whisper of sound blended into my surroundings and disappeared from sight.
    I stood in the shadows and listened as the sound of multiple transports reached my sensitive ears.  I heard all hell broke loose.  The few people who were wandering the street were immediately slaughtered before the small force began to spread out to lock up the town.
    The first rebel walked by me unaware.  I let the woman slip past me, then I silently stepped up behind her and casually snapped her neck.  The woman slid from my grasp to the ground, and I promptly relieved her body of the tools I needed.  Then I merged into the shadows, searching intently for my next victim.
    I counted a dozen, less the one already dead.  Child’s play for me even if it wasn’t personal, and this was personal.  Just their being here in this time and place made it personal for me.  I briefly wondered about their objective and how much was focused on me because of my Sabre status.  Then I decided it really didn’t matter as I slipped a knife between the ribs of the young man I had crept up on.  He fell with very little sound, and I moved him deeper into the building where he wouldn’t be found easily.  No sense in giving them any advanced warning as to what was coming.
    The next soldier actually gurgled at the end as the knife sliced neatly across his neck... a very wet sound.  Two more met their demise almost simultaneously.  The twin shuriken sliced deep into the right eye of one and the left eye of the other.  I have never really adjusted to that particular sucking sound as I pulled them out again, but a good warrior never leaves behind a weapon that can be reused against them.  And I wasn’t taking any chances since I was fighting alone.
    With almost half the rebel force now decimated, my attention turned as a commotion broke out at the restaurant.  The entire rest of the town was being herded into street.  I have to admit to feeling a bit smug when I saw the lines of worry that crossed the apparent leader’s face.  He motioned two of his remaining team to circle around the perimeter and locate the missing team members.  It was quite entertaining, actually, until I caught the feeling of Gwen’s fear.
    The man was an arrogant ass, making demands as though he was due something, and I kept an eye on him even as I raised the blowgun to my lips and shot the first dart at the woman fast approaching my position.  The rebel reached for the stinging spot on her neck even as she dropped dead in her tracks.  I wondered what sort of poison the rebels were using.  Nothing should be that deadly if they were only here for me.  They had come prepared for slaughter, which didn’t ring true with the leader’s recent words.  Something much worse was going on, but what?  I blew a second dart at the other woman still some distance away, then I jumped silently from my hiding place before she hit the ground.
    My rage grew exponentially as I watched Nanny fall to the ground, and the burning in my face was almost unbearable.  The older woman had been the first to welcome me into the community; been a surrogate family member to me and had always had a pleasant word anytime I had come into town.  She welcomed Gwen with the same open friendliness and it made me angry that she was taken away from us before they really had a chance to know one another.  When that man reached out towards Gwen and Chief Screaming Sky however, he crossed a line with consequences that not even God himself could have saved him from. I felt the change happen and I became a bona fide killing machine.
    The first two of the remaining five died when swift kicks to the neck crushed their windpipes.  It made the most satisfying crunch.  The next never saw the blow that sent a bone from his nose up into his brain, and the spray of blood was glorious – it made me one step closer to Gwen and one step closer to annihilating them.  The pressure points I hit on the eleventh rebel caused him to fall over gasping for air and I had to wonder at the poor planning involved in this little raid.  The blonde leader had no idea his little force now laid dead around the perimeter of townsfolk.  I couldn’t wait to watch his face when he died at my hand.
    He grabbed Sky by the scruff of the neck and yanked him forward, then he closed his hand around Sky’s neck and slowly began to squeeze the life from his lungs.  He never noticed that during his speech a ripple in the crowd had caused the people to edge away from him, and he and Sky were left standing basically alone.  I edged my way into the congregation, and they allowed me to pass through their midst easily.  Simultaneously they eased back, understanding that I was far more dangerous than the man who stood before them demanding my head.  They wouldn’t understand the deadly damage I had already perpetrated until much, much later, but they were witness to the last.
    Gwen gasped when I stepped into the inner circle... an involuntary reaction to the transformation she could clearly see written on my visage. I can only imagine the picture I made standing before her blood spattered and wild because I know how I felt at that moment.  She clasped her hands to her lips to contain the sound, but it was too late because his attention focused on her at the first noise.
    He dropped Sky, and the old man lay on the ground gasping for air, but I couldn’t stop for that yet.  Gwen was in serious, imminent danger.  I didn’t even slow down but reached the rebel just as he touched Gwen.  He didn’t even have time to process the thought that he was going to die before the blade entered his stomach. I wish I could have made it last longer... made him suffer, but I needed him dead worse than I needed to torture him.  I needed to be sure Gwen was safe. He looked into my cold dead eyes, and I saw the questions there.  Apparently this hadn’t ended like he’d expected it to – guess it sucked to be him.  Then I jerked the knife upwards, and he scrambled to catch the innards that were suddenly spilling onto the dirt around him.  He fell to his knees, dead before he hit the ground.
    I watched him fall before turning around to meet Gwen’s eyes, half-afraid of what I’d see there.  What I found was love and understanding and a fear for me – not *of* me, but *for* me.  I understood that as she reached for me and then blinding pain and darkness.
    A postscript to this memory - the most peculiar thing happened as I put this away the first time, and I actually had to come back in to add this.  Gwen followed me here.  She followed me into the darkness and found me here in this hiding place.  I never would have imagined such a thing happening.  Even a seer as powerful as Reed cannot find this place.  Even if she could, she couldn’t get past the traps and barriers I have set up.  Yet Gwen breezed through and came in as if it were her right to be here.
    And I’m so very glad she did.

“I’m glad I did too,” Gwen said quietly into the stillness.  She wrapped a hand around Randi’s arm and rubbed her cheek against Randi’s shoulder.  “I wouldn’t want you to go through this alone.  It’s scary.”

Randi pulled back slightly until she could look into Gwen’s eyes, knowing she couldn’t lie to her this close.  “Are you afraid of me Gwen?  Is what I’ve done so horrible?  Is that why you left?”

“No, Baby, no.  That’s not what I meant at all,” taking Randi’s face in her hands and cradling it gently.  She gazed into blue eyes until she felt the subtle relaxation of the tension in Randi’s body.  She took the book from Randi’s grip and set it aside, then brought her attention back to Gwen, holding tightly to her hands.  “Knowing you already had to face these things alone... that’s what’s scary to me, Love.  It’s scary knowing you faced this alone with no support.  Your strength allowed you to do what was necessary and then set it aside to be able to live without losing your sanity.  It’s scary knowing I could have lost you if you hadn’t been strong enough, fast enough, smart enough.  I’m glad I can be with you now to at least provide you with whatever strength and support you’ll let me share with you.”

“So, I was that horrible,” Randi said when Gwen stopped speaking.  “So bad that you can’t even answer or tell me why you left?”  She would have moved away except for the ironclad hold Gwen retained on her.  She could have pulled away, but not without considerable damage to Gwen and substantial pain for herself.  And Gwen was holding on for dear life.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” Gwen hissed.  “Don’t even start that with me, Randi.  God, how many times I have to say it?  I don’t know everything – I don’t know most things... especially not what you were thinking and feeling or what the motivation was behind your actions. We’re here to go through this together, and I’m not going to cloud that with my thoughts.  It’s not my place to judge one way or another.  That’s not how it works.”

“Then tell me why you left, please?  I need to know.” 

“I told you, Sweetheart... it was time.”

Randi held up a hand in frustration.  “I understand that.  But why?  Why was it time?  Do you know what it felt like when you left?  Do you??”  Her voice was heated... a mixture of irritation and anger.

“Yeah, Randi, I do,” green eyes sparking with their own ire.  “I know what it felt like when you shut me out of your heart; out of your life; out of your bed.  But if you want to know what the final straw was it was being introduced as your consort when you know how I felt about that title; being displayed like I was some sort of damned prize and then being discarded like yesterday’s garbage when all was said and done.  It was obvious to me right then I no longer had a place with you.  It was time to go.”

“Then why are you here now??  Apparently I have totally fucked things up and completely driven you from my life.  So why did you come back??  You don’t belong here... especially here,” towering over Gwen in the hopes that she would be intimidated and... and what, Randi??  Leave??  Do you really want her to leave you alone here?  The inner dialogue would have gone one longer if not for Gwen’s timely and forceful interruption.

“We’ve already been over this, but if I have to keep repeating it, I will until you believe me.  I belong here just as much as you do, Randi,” Gwen said while she poked her finger into Randi’s chest.  “Your soul called to mine and I promised you... I promised you... I’d be here when you needed me.  Now,” with one last poke, “You’re going to have to put aside the fact that I left; you’ll understand it the further along we go in your memories.  If you’re still angry after you see the things that happened, and you still want me to leave, I will.  And you will never hear from me again.”  She couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes, but she did keep them from spilling over.  Gwen turned her back to Randi wondering how they had fallen into such a nasty argument so quickly. Her body instantly relaxed when strong arms wrapped around her from behind and held on tightly.

“No, Beloved, no!  Don’t you get it?  That’s the problem – you did leave.  I still don’t know why, but you left and I’m afraid when you see what else is hidden here, you might not want to come back. I don’t like the person who writes these memories, but she is an integral part of who I am.  And if I don’t like her, how can I expect you to?”

Gwen turned in Randi’s arms and grasped her face firmly before deliberately teasing Randi’s lips with her tongue.  Randi endured the pleasant torture long enough to forget her anguish and respond, capturing the muscle tormenting her and returning the favor until Gwen pulled away breathless.  “Now do you understand, Love?  I love ALL of you and nothing... NOTHING is going to change that.  Remember, Sweetheart, I gave you the choice.  You get to decide when you’re ready to be an us again.”

“Sorry. I don’t know where all this insecurity is coming from.”

“I do.  What you’re doing – facing your past like this - is hard.  Sharing it is even harder.  But I’ll keep reassuring you,” with another kiss, “for as long as you need me to.”

Randi smiled.  “If this is the kind of reassurance I get, I’m never gonna be secure just so you’ll keep on reassuring.”

Gwen returned the smile wickedly.  “Uh uh... the sooner you feel secure, the sooner we get to move to more advanced things.”

Randi’s eyes grew wide.  “Advanced?”

“Yep.”

“I’m secure,” Randi said so earnestly it drew a laugh from Gwen.  Randi grinned.  She hadn’t heard that sound in such a long time.  “I want you to know one thing - despite everything, I have always, ALWAYS wanted there to be an ‘us’.  That never changed no matter how stupid I got.”

“Then there always will be,” said with firm, quiet confidence.  “Now are you ready to get back to work?  We’re still a ways out from where we are now in the timeline.”

“Yes,” Randi replied decisively.  “I’m over this already.  I want to get done and get home to you.  The world can just take care of itself for a while.”  She turned caught the look on Gwen’s face.  “If I go stupid again just smack me, will ya?  We don’t have time for any more stupid insecurities.”

“Honey, they’re not stupid; they’re perfectly normal.  But no... no smacking.  You might bite your tongue, and I prefer that to be in good working order.  I’ll lick your nose instead.”

“Well, EW.  That’ll stop stupid in its tracks,” Randi said, scrunching up her face in reaction.

“Good,” Gwen added with a light chuckle.  “C’mon then.  Let’s do it to it and see what happens next.  Then maybe we can take a break and go see Reed?  I think you’ll like the safe room she created for us.  It reminds me very much of our glade.”

“I miss that.”

“Hmm... so do I.  Someday soon though, all right?”

Randi nodded and grabbed the next manuscript from its place in the file.  She slipped back onto the slab, surprised to find a soft cushion beneath her behind.  “Where’d this come from?” she asked Gwen in confusion.

Gwen shrugged.  “Dunno.  I was tired of sitting hard and I wished for something a little more comfortable.  Next thing you know....”

“Thanks,” Randi said sincerely as she tried to slip the lock from the book.  “My butt was getting kinda sore.”  They were both a little surprised when nothing happened and looked at one another curiously.  Randi turned the tome around, assuring herself she had the next volume in chronological order. “That’s weird.  It’s the right book.”  Gwen took the book from her and looked it over carefully, hoping something would pop out at her.  She jumped when Randi started upright and stated, “Ah!  I’ll just bet you....”  Randi picked up the previous volume, watching as it disintegrated into nothing but air.  Then she took the next book back from Gwen, and the lock opened easily.  “I have to accept one before I can move on to the next.”

Gwen smiled and snuggled up close to her.  “You are very clever.” Then they opened the next book together, anxious to see what new memories awaited them.

    It was weird.  I scouted carefully around a second warehouse area Tiny’s intelligence reports hadn’t indicated were a possible location for the targets I was looking for.  This was one Tiny and the Sabres apparently had no knowledge of, and I didn’t understand that.  They weren’t that hard to find.
    The first locale I visited had held a very few members of the Skinhead Faction, and I had done nothing but scout the location just like I promised Tiny.  It was obviously set up as some sort of decoy they expected to be destroyed without thought in the event someone came looking for it.  They didn’t think anyone would take the time to scout it out and look around so getting around the security in the small building and its systems had been child’s play.
    God, it felt so good to be doing this again.  As much as I love Gwen and our life together, there has been a part of me that has missed being a Sabre, especially this part of it – the thrill of the chase.  Of course this chase was terribly simple.  In mere minutes I struck pay dirt. I found proof that Gwen and I were being personally targeted by the group as a whole.  That pissed me off, and it went from fun and interesting game to deadly, personal challenge. I found other positions around the globe that housed individual factions that functioned as regional headquarters and knew I would share that information with the Sabres eventually but not right now.  I wondered why such vital information was in such an insecure spot, but then realized I really didn’t care.  This had become personal, and the Skinheads were stupid enough to put information into my hands.  I was going to give them the satisfaction of making sure it was put to good use.
    So I went to the area’s second address – one that if the Skinheads’ own information was correct held at least one member of their upper echelon.  There was no physical security outside the building; that would have drawn unwanted attention.  But there was plenty of surveillance and security equipment even if it wasn’t quite state-of-the-art.  I felt my blood begin to burn.
    I blended into the shadows, taking my time to break the code that held the door shut. I didn’t see a reason to announce myself.  I planned to enjoy this little exercise for as long as it lasted.  The man standing to one side never had the chance to realize he was dead before I wiped my knife free of his blood and let him slip to the floor.
    The next two looked at one another in startlement for the split second it took them to see the shuriken embed itself in the other’s forehead.  I stopped to retrieve them, gritting my teeth as the blade slid along bone and shivering at the sound and feel it made. The look on their dead faces was a study in amusement for me because they were taken completely by surprise.  I wonder what the Sabres have been up to that these rebels didn’t expect some sort of attack being as close to the capital as they were.  Something stinks here and it smells of conspiracy. 
    Four more fell to crossbow bolts before I reached a second set of doors.  These were monitored visually and sonically, and I took a moment to catch her breath and clean my tools while I considered my next move.  That they would all die was never in question – their making it personal assured that.  My concern now was how to best accomplish this without doing damage to myself.  As angry as Gwen would be for my involvement in this, being hurt because of my actions here would be unforgivable.
    With a little effort, visual security met an abrupt end, then I put the plugs into my ears, knowing that an investigation would follow.  I figured they would remember their own damned security measure, but on the off chance that they didn’t, I wanted to be prepared.  Rebels weren’t particularly known for their brilliance... only their innate ability to follow orders.
    The noise they set off when they stepped through the doors was excruciating, and two of them fell to the floor clutching their heads and keening in agony for a long minute before succumbing to the pain.  The other two looked down in disgust and shook their heads. I wanted to laugh.  It was like watching a bad comedy.  Then they drew their lasers and I knew it was time to get down to business.  They weren’t taking any chances now that their force had been cut in half; they knew it would be several minutes before reinforcements would arrive.  I was disappointed though.  I’d never cared for fighting with lasers.  It takes all the skill and challenge out of victory.  However, I also knew I was still outnumbered and I was just ready to be done with it.  If they wanted to die by laser, then so be it. 
    The two men moved slowly and carefully, not knowing what to expect, but wary of whatever had managed to find them here and breach their defenses.  It was interesting to watch, especially knowing they had no chance of surviving no matter how slow and careful they were.  I casually stepped out into the hallway and dropped them where they stood.  Then I made my way to the door where the two unconscious men lay across the threshold holding the door ajar while the sonic alarm continued to pulse and wail.  I aimed my laser at one and then the other, pulling the trigger and watching them die.  Then I crossed the threshold to see what else I could find.
    The next six I came upon fell to a flash grenade before they even had an opportunity to draw their weapons.  Pathetic really – I expected with all the noise and confusion for them to be prepared for an all-out assault.  No matter though. It just made killing them easier.
    Things became a blur after that as I went among them, killing them singly and in pairs.  I varied my methods – the twist of a neck; the slash of my knife; a blade to the chest; a shuriken to the forehead; the occasional crossbow bolt to the eye.  I took perverse pleasure taken in that particular method because of the hours of training I’d spent perfecting the technique. The sucking sound the bolt’s removal made was a little more graphic than I liked.  But it did was it was supposed to do and by the time I reached the one who was considered the leader of this faction, nearly one hundred members of the skinheads lay decimated in the warehouse that had previously been their safe haven.
    I was covered in blood and bits of gore as I approached him.  It was not a feeling I liked, but it did serve to make an impression.  He never saw me; he never heard me – until it was too late.  He felt my touch upon his throat and gasped for air, his eyes going wide at the specter I made standing in front of him.  I felt the shiver go through him as he wet himself, and I knew he knew he was going to die.
    Then he said something that made no sense to me.  He said he was following orders in sending those notes – that warning me wasn’t his idea, but someone higher up.  I don’t understand why.  It makes no sense for them to target me and then warn me about their activities.  They have to know that I will destroy them myself before I let them hurt Gwen or destroy what we have together.  Apparently I needed to make an example here and send a message to the remainder of the rebels.  I squeezed harder until he fell over convulsing, and I watched until his body stilled.  Then I set about making an accident. 
    The fire burned hot and furious and I knew the rebels would understand the message.  I just wondered if they would heed it.

The silence that fell when Randi reached the end was deafening.  Gwen didn’t move away, but Randi could feel the tension running through the slim body curled up next to her.  Randi took a deep breath and blew it out.  “Gwen, I....”

“Do you really?  Miss it, I mean?”  She shifted so she could look into Randi’s eyes and was gratified that the warrior met hers honestly before dropping to the book in her lap.  She chewed her lip thoughtfully before returning her eyes to Gwen’s.

“Yes,” she said candidly.  “Parts of it I do, and I probably always will.  Not the killing or the gore. But the danger and the chase and the strategy involved – the flush of success when I win.  Those things, yeah, I do miss them, and it’s very hard to replace that with anything.  Not that I would change one thing if it meant I’d lose you because you’re far more important to me than any of that.  It’s just that it was such a big part of my life for so long....”

Unexpectedly Randi discovered the green eyes were full of compassionate understanding.  “I never meant for you to lose a part of yourself, Love.  I just wanted to protect you from the darkness.  That was all I ever saw in your involvement with the Sabres, and I saw how that darkness haunted you.”  A pause.  “Is that why you found those extreme holos?  For that thrill of danger and excitement?”

Randi shrugged.  “That’s why I went looking for them, yeah.  After you created that holo-program with the coasters, it got me to thinking. I knew from my reading that there had to be other things like that.  So I did some digging, thinking these would be things we could do together.  You remember how much fun sky-diving together was?”

Gwen blushed.  “I remember a lot of things about sky-diving, but I especially remember the overwhelming desire I had to jump your bones when we touched the ground.  The whole experience was a rush, but that was out of control,” said with a saucy grin.

Randi smiled in sympathy.  “Exactly.  And your body can get used to it... crave it, in fact.”

“And being a Sabre satisfies that urge?”

Randi thought about that a moment, wanting to be as open and honest in her answer as she could.  “In some ways, yes, but it got to the point it wasn’t worth what it was costing me.”

“So why did you go back to it?”

“I didn’t at first.  It was manipulated back to me.  Ares knew two crucial things about me that he took advantage of.  One was that need for dangerous excitement and adventure.  The other was the fact that I would do anything to keep you safe from harm even if it meant walking back into the darkness.  I didn’t do it knowingly in the beginning, but I have to believe at some point I became aware of what was happening at some level and still went forward into the darkness.” 

“So if you were aware, why did you go forward?  And why can’t you remember?”

Randi shrugged.  “I can’t answer that yet because I don’t know what motivation I had.  I’d like to think that somehow there was a greater good mixed up in it somewhere, but I know from what we just read that there is also a personal vendetta involved for me as well.  I owed the rebels for trying to destroy us, and the warrior part of me would have been very happy to extract that payment from them.  Justice without mercy.”

“And your memory?  I understand the part about your having two selves. I saw them separately with my own eyes, and I know the bard acts independently of the rest of me when I get lost in a creative mode and am working on a story while doing other things.  Personally I know there are far more than two facets to your personality, but I have to believe that the warrior and the woman represent your strongest parts.  But since you merged back into a single being, shouldn’t you know what each self knows?  Share the memories and the feelings?”

“I do.  I remember what it felt like when you left.  I remember the speech you gave me about being called consort.  I remember our honeymoon and you going back to work and any other number of things.  But the things that I brought here were purged and the only way to remember them is to take them back by reading through them.”

All right, then.  Let’s move on.  What comes next?”

“I dunno.  I have to accept this first.”

Unexpectedly Gwen wrapped her hand around Randi’s larger one.  “Let me share the burden, Love.  You have carried it on your own long enough.  I believe, with all my heart, that what you did was done with the greater good in mind.  Even though it became personal for you, I think... no, I know that it was necessary to achieving the peace we have today.  I may not agree with or understand the methods, but no one can argue with the results.”

“So many died by my hand.”

Gwen nodded.  “And so many more would have died at theirs, and those would have been innocents.”

Randi looked into Gwen’s eyes, searching for the answer to an unspoken question.  What she found there satisfied her and she nodded hard.  “I believe,” she confirmed in a whisper, never breaking eye contact with Gwen.  The book became less than ash, leaving only a trail of smoke in its wake.

Randi started to get up from her place when a hand on her leg made her pause.  “Let me,” Gwen said softly.  “If things are falling into place like I think they are, this should be the memory that Reed was searching for – the one with the Amazons.”

Randi scratched the back of her neck and nodded.  “I remember that... parts of it anyway.  I wonder what I would have put away in here.”

Gwen slid from the slab and padded over to the files.  “Dunno, but I’m willing to bet the next memory will fill in those holes Reed told us about.  Just remember, Love... they targeted us that time.  They deliberately came after us.  That much I remember.”

Randi smiled grimly.  “So do I,” absently rubbing her leg.  “Which is why I always wondered why they didn’t finish me.  They had an advantage.”

Gwen picked up the novel.  “Well, let’s take a look.  This should give us the answers we’re looking for.”

“I hope so,” hoping Gwen was right about what incident was covered in this memory.  At least she had some partial memories of the Amazon attack, and felt reasonably justified for whatever actions she had taken then.  Randi took the tome from Gwen’s hands and focused until the lock clicked open.  Then they settled back and readied themselves for more discoveries, hoping they would bring them both one step closer to finishing their quest.

************

“How’re you holding up, Geoff?”  Tiny’s quiet words penetrated Sky’s awareness and he let his eyes flutter open.  They met Geoff’s with concern before turning to Tiny.

“I’m fine,” Geoff replied.  “I just didn’t realize how draining this would be.”  He would have said more when they were interrupted by a surprising, though not unwelcome voice.

“Geoffrey Mackenzie Goldman!!”  All three men flinched at the censure in Jill’s tone, looking anywhere but at her as she stepped into the room.  “Sweetheart, I understand your need to be a part of whatever is going, but don’t you think you could have called and eased my mind a little?  I have been going stir crazy since you left!”

“I’m sorry, Honey.  I was going to and then we started channeling strength to Randi, and it kind of slipped my mind.”

Jill looked at each of them carefully before setting her things down and joining them at the bed.  “Will someone please share with me what is going on?  And can I help?” she asked without preamble.  The men smiled and nodded before arranging themselves and Jill accordingly.  Then in low tones, Sky brought her up to date on the situation even as they once more channeled their strength to Randi.

************

“Everything all right, you two?” Lacey questioned even as she checked the monitors she had connected to all three women.  Reed’s eyes opened slowly at her words as did Rosie’s and then focused on one another in unspoken understanding before turning to Lacey simultaneously and nodding.

“Everything seems to be going better than expected.  I made contact with Gwen and with a little luck she’ll bring Randi with her the next time she enters the safe room.  She said it’s hard, but that’s to be expected, but together they seem to be meeting the challenge head-on.”

Rosie nodded.  “I can feel the darkness they are experiencing on the periphery of my awareness, but mostly I feel the love and strength between them and the strength Sky is sharing.  It is more than I expected from him, but it’s good.  Randi needs the support even if she doesn’t know where it is coming from.  She should feel it as comforting warmth; that’s what it feels like to me.”

“Agreed,” Reed concurred.  “We know Tiny is helping him, and I wouldn’t be surprised to know that Tiny brought in reinforcements.  Every Sabre alive would sacrifice themselves to help Randi through this.  Aside from the fact that they know what is at stake, Randi has saved this planet twice now at great personal expense.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Ares had to fight off the whole damn military before this is all said and done.”


Chapter VI

    It was a beautiful day and the ride was more than a little stimulating as Gwen’s hands wandered up and down my torso and thighs. Periodically they would lovingly rub over my ass and I was forced to focus harder on maintaining the bike and driving than I normally would have been.  It was nearly impossible to extend my senses around me in search of danger... not when they were fully engaged in contemplating possible paybacks for what was happening now.  We were a little more than halfway home, and I was caught completely off guard by what happened next.
    The road was well shaded with old oaks, something I had always appreciated for their beauty and majesty and in the summer for their shade.  They always made me realize what an amazing thing life is – to have survived so much for so long and still stand proudly unbowed. Unfortunately for me, they also made a perfect cover for a covert Fringe Amazon operation.  I never saw them, but I felt them mere moments before their assault, and I wasn’t quick enough to avoid their attack.  Worse, I had no weapons to combat them while on the bike – not with Gwen to protect, anyway.   Without warning, arrows began raining down on us from the trees.  I did her best to avoid them, swerving the bike dangerously in the road.  One stuck in my thigh and I grimaced.  Damn thing hurt like a son of a bitch and pulling it out later was gonna be a real pain in the ass.  Gwen tightened her grip on me suddenly and released a muffled cry just before I felt the arrow pierce through her right shoulder and into mine.  Gwen’s grip started to slacken. 
    I wanted to panic and for the first time since becoming a Sabre nearly let the terror of the moment overtake me, knowing they had hurt Gwen. Instead I let the rage build and those same Sabre instincts came screaming to the fore. The arrow shower stopped as quickly as it began, and I heard the Amazons coming after us.  I needed to find a place I could defend and protect Gwen at the same time.  I knew I couldn’t let my assailants dictate the terms of our fight so I turned the bike off the road and into the field.  There were trees there, but they were sparse and spread out.  I chose one to defend and decided to make them come to me.
    I slipped into Sabre mode and stopped the bike by the large, lone tree in the middle of the pasture.  I hissed in pain as I separated myself from Gwen.  Pulling the arrow out of my shoulder made that horrid sucking sound I hated so much and I turned to catch Gwen as she slumped forward with a whimper.  I knew she was in tremendous pain, but I also knew we had to get undercover and into a defendable position before I tried to anything about either of us.
    She was so brave, and I went to work as quickly as I could to make things better for her.
    I slid off the bike, then started digging through the saddlebags.  I was so glad that some Sabre habits were so ingrained in my psyche that I didn’t even think about them anymore.  One of those habits was that I always carried a first aid kit with me.  Another was that I never traveled without accessible weapons even if I didn’t wear them on my person.  I gave thanks for hard lessons well learned even as I searched my bags for the items I needed.
    I found what I was looking for and took a minute to arm myself.  The short staff was hooked on a belt loop; the flash grenades stuffed in the oversized pockets of my pants.  The throwing stars I left in their pouch and tied it off to another belt loop.  I would have been happier with a crossbow or even a laser at this point, just to speed things along.  But I figured with a little luck, I could relieve a dead Amazon or two of anything else I would need.  There was no time for savoring this chase.  Gwen needed me and taking care of her was paramount to any sort of enjoyment I might have gotten out of this little experience especially when I knew we were short on time.
    I took my jacket off and reached down to my thigh.  I hated this part of fighting Amazons.  Damn arrows hurt and having to do this with no medic just sucked.   I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before breaking off the arrow that jutted out from deep in my leg, leaving only enough shaft to grasp later when I had time to treat it.  I groaned and bit my lip as the world spun in vivid color.  Then I fashioned a tourniquet from the bit of bandage wrap I carried in the kit and tied it around my leg.  I hoped it would be enough til I could take care of it properly since there was always the possibility of poisoning.  There was nothing I could do about the wound in my shoulder, and I could feel the blood trickling down my back in tickling rivulets.
    Gwen had slumped in my arms, and I knew that what was coming was gonna hurt her a lot.  She was only vaguely aware, but she shuddered in anticipation of the pain she knew was coming when I explained to her what I needed to do.  I broke off the head, catching Gwen when she passed out.  I was glad for that; the less pain I caused my bard the better.  I never realized how different... how much harder... it was to have to do these things to someone you loved.  Not that I hadn’t care about my fellow Sabres – I did – but not only was I not in love with any of them, they knew the risks, knew the price and the pain involved in being who we were.  Gwen was an innocent, and it nearly killed me to have to hurt her.
    I heard the Amazons approaching. it didn’t seem like they were taking great pains to be quiet as if I was already dead.  That sort of attitude was the kind that would get them killed, though that was a given anyway, and I took great joy in the knowledge that I could and would make them suffer for what they had done... to Gwen and to me.  I pushed the arrow through Gwen’s shoulder and slapped on two pressure bandages.  I felt certain they would stop the bleeding long enough for me to destroy the threat.  Then I put Gwen over my shoulder, glad she couldn’t hear my groan at the added pressure her weight put on my wounds.  Then I set out to find a good hiding place in the tree, knowing Gwen would be out of harm’s way there. 
    It was a struggle, and I slipped once, but I finally found a place that had several branches tangled together, and I gently deposited Gwen into the center.  I slid my belt off and looped it around my bard to secure her to the tree.  Gwen actually opened her eyes briefly and looked her question at me.  I explained the situation and she nodded her understanding.  I kissed her, then slid out of the tree silently.  It was time to become the hunter.
    The Amazons arrived and formed a visible perimeter, but they acted utterly clueless, as though once here they had no idea what to do next.  I found that so strange.  Always before the enemy had a plan, no matter how badly conceived, and they stuck with it til the bitter end.  I watched as it dawned on them that there were fifteen of them and only one of me, and they began to advance as a group through the tall grasses.  I guess it never occurred to them that those kinds of odds weren’t going to work in their favor, especially not with the weaponry they were working with.  Their most customary weapon was the crossbow, and they had already wasted the surprise element that made them effective weapons.  Even with the chobos, a few swords and a spear I saw among the gathered group, they didn’t stand a chance.
    I knew I didn’t have time to enjoy the combat, so I worked swiftly to eliminate the threat now facing me.  I wasn’t going to let a bunch of pansy-assed rebels keep me from getting the help I needed for Gwen. 
    I slid through the grass like a snake, and the first four Amazons fell before anyone was aware I wasn’t where they expected me to be.  I crept up behind them and broke their necks with rapid precision and a very satisfying snap.  Then I disappeared again before they even saw me.  A cry went up when the bodies were discovered, which happened accidentally when one woman turned to give a whispered instruction to the woman behind her. I chuckled because the look on her face was priceless.
    It made the Amazons to cluster together, and I just shook her head at the utter lack of sense before I tossed a flash grenade into the middle of the group and it was like shooting fish in a puddle.  They didn’t even have time to notice before it exploded, killing another five and injuring three.  That left only three standing, and for that, I unleashed my staff.  There was a burning rage inside that needed to shed blood and a simple twist turned the staff into a flange. I ran towards the remaining Amazons with a fierce roar.
    The look of fear on their faces was glorious, and I longed for a moment to enjoy it.  But the first raised her bow before I could savor the feeling so I sent her head bouncing across the grass several times.  Before her body actually crumbled, the next, who held a sword, came running towards me from behind.  I buried the other blade in her belly, feeling it slide along her spine.  I didn’t even turn; I just yanked it back out and threw it like a javelin at the final Amazon who had turned to run.  It buried itself in her back, and the Amazon turned to look at me as she sank to her knees.  The look on her face was a mixture of pain, disbelief and fear, and I relished it.  Blood spilled out of her mouth and I could tell she saw in me the spectre of death itself.  It made me smile.
    I walked the few steps to the Amazon, removing my flange from her body and dragging her back to the crater where the flash grenade had exploded.  The three injured Amazons were making various degrees of effort to escape.  I couldn’t allow that, so I calmly walked to each one and ended their torment with the single thrust of a blade. Then one by one I dumped the bodies into the hole and carefully set the remaining grenades for a delayed incineration blast, their actual intended purpose. 
    I wiped the blood off the flange, then returned it to its short staff form before heading back to the tree to retrieve Gwen.  I felt the silent explosion that sent a wave of heat blasting over her and knew that in short order the only evidence of anything amiss in this field would be the large hole in the ground.  I wasn’t worried about the transports; no one was going to come looking for them, and if they were found, it really didn’t matter.  I hadn’t touched them.
    I put my weapons away carefully as I always had, and I turned my attention to my thigh.  Damn thing still hurt and it was still bleeding sluggishly. I braced myself and gritted my teeth, then grabbed the end of the shaft and yanked hard.  I heard myself scream and the world went black for a very long moment.  When my senses returned, I loosened the tourniquet and blood flowed more rapidly.  I cursed myself for being caught without water and wrapped a length of bandage around it tightly, then moved to climb the tree.
    It took longer than I expected; the wound on my shoulder was starting to ache intensely.  Gwen was still passed out, and it was a mixed blessing.  I knew she couldn’t feel any pain as long as she was out, but I knew I was gonna need her to hold on to get us both home safely.  I grabbed an ammonia capsule and let the scent waft under Gwen’s nose.
    Her reaction was almost immediate, and she sat up with a hiss.  Her eyes watered from the smell and her good hand reached for her injured shoulder.  Gwen stretched a shaking hand towards my bandaged leg.  I caught it and held it tightly for a moment before turning my head and explaining to her the need to move and the need I had for her help.  Gwen looked around, disoriented.  She asked about the odd smell in the air, wondering if it was the burning in her nose and the scent of blood and sweat coming from both of us.  I glanced in the direction Gwen was gazing and shrugged my shoulders. Already the fire had burned down to cinders with the wind carrying most of the scent away from us.    
    It was slow going as we eased down from one branch to the next.  When we reached the bottom branch, I jumped unthinkingly, and my leg buckled when I hit the ground too hard.  I couldn’t believe I was that stupid.  I heard Gwen scramble after me. She fell to her knees when she landed and crawling to kneel by my side.  I heard her breathing hard with the pain and could have kicked myself for adding to her misery.
    I looked up at her, breathing rhythmically to try and stabilize with a few deep breaths the dizziness I felt.  Gwen leaned back against the tree and I felt her watching me.  I consciously pushed the pain out of my awareness and stood to my feet.  I extended my uninjured hand down to my bard who accepted it and gradually made her way upright.  I could see the effort it was costing her and wished I could manage to do more for her.  Instead we leaned against one another for a long moment, then I looked into Gwen’s eyes, needing to know if she could hang on to make it home.
    Gwen nodded, and I could see her self-doubt about making it home before she passed out again. I thought about insisting she ride up front, but I wasn’t sure I could balance everything since I was losing the feeling in my arm.
    I grimaced as I lifted the helmet to Gwen’s head and pulled it on. I felt vaguely uneasy as I donned my own headgear, but I couldn’t pin down what was tickling my senses.  Gwen had already straddled the bike so I eased herself in front of her and started the engine, thankful for its quiet mode.  My head was beginning to throb on top of everything else, and the light purr of the motorcycle was soothing.
    The bike ride was never-ending; my hackles were standing straight up in anticipation of another attack. I pressed forward hard, willing us home faster.  I didn’t sense any immediate danger but I was unwilling to let my guard down even a fraction of an inch.  There was too much at stake.  My nerve endings ached from overextension and I couldn’t find any trace of the Amazons.  So my focus was now on getting us home as quickly and safely as possible.  I felt Gwen clutch at my shirt with one hand and lean into me.  I accepted the weight and let the need I felt flowing from Gwen motivate me.  Gwen slumped against me just as we crossed the bridge and my focus was on maintaining our balance. It’s amazing how focused that kind of motivation can make a person.
    We made it home with no further incident and I pulled under the portico and slid off the bike.  I turned to catch Gwen as she started to tumble over, wincing when her head hit my bad shoulder.  I steeled myself for what came next, and with a groan rose on unsteady feet, glad the door was only two paces from where I stood.  I honestly didn’t think I could make it given the way I felt, and I wondered what those arrows had been tipped in to have drained me so badly.  I had to lean against the doorframe as I keyed in the code, then I stumbled in the door when it unlocked.
    I was sweating profusely from exertion by the time I made it to the bathroom, and my throat was so dry I had to call out the water temperature twice before it activated.  Gwen came to almost as soon as the water started spraying, and she reached for my hands and looked at me with miserable eyes.
    I tried to be tender, but I could tell it still hurt.  Hurting her hurts me in ways I can’t explain even to myself.  I was so glad to fall into bed together, but for the first time since the return of Gwen’s memories, we didn’t curl up together.  I knew our injuries would make it a painful prospect, but the lack of intimacy between us hurt in a far worse way deep in my soul.  Only when Gwen reached for my hand was I finally able to drift off into welcome oblivion.

“Wow,” Gwen finally managed in a husky voice.  “I never knew, and why do I get the feeling you downplayed what it was costing you to do all that?  You make it sound so easy,” she absently rubbed Randi’s right shoulder.  “But I remember how much that hurt, and you got it in the leg and still managed to keep the Amazons away from us.”

“I killed them, Gwen.  And I enjoyed it.”

Gwen nodded slowly.  “I understand that, Love.  And I think if our positions had been reversed, I would have done the same thing... especially this time.”  She paused and gathered her thoughts.  “Randi, they came after us, deliberately targeting us hoping to kill you... to kill us.  I know it’s selfish, but I’m glad you were able to stop them.  I am sorry they had to die, but Sweetheart, it didn’t stop with them.  And they would have kept trying until the succeeded.  Do I get the enjoyment part?  No... I never have.  But I believe that is the part of you that lets you be the warrior you are.  You don’t need my acceptance or approval of that, Randi, although you’ve got my unqualified support of you.  You’ve always had my love and support.  But you’re the one that has to accept that facet of your personality – for better or worse.”

Randi sat quietly, considering Gwen’s words.  She recognized it for the truth.  Gwen had always accepted her regardless.  She was the one who was having trouble, and she couldn’t explain why.  Perhaps it was because she had been so separated from herself, or maybe it was just the not knowing what to expect from herself anymore.  Randi was honest enough to admit that it bothered her a lot that Gwen had been exposed to the warrior side of her, especially untempered.  She knew what she was capable of when she was whole.  What had happened when she had been the warrior alone?

“It bothers me,” she finally said honestly.  “It bothers me for you to see this... for you to know these things about me.  Especially things I haven’t discovered myself yet.  I feel... naked, um... too exposed.”

Gwen wanted to be hurt by that comment and then she really thought about it.  Given what Randi was and had been for all of her adult life, that feeling made perfect sense.  She nodded her recognition of that fact.  “I understand, Randi, but I want there to only be honesty between us.  If you’d like, I will go back and wait for you to finish this alone in private.”

“NO!” vehemently.  “I’d rather you be here... even with all the awkwardness.  You belong here.”  Randi offered a hesitant smile.

Gwen returned it wholeheartedly.  “Then perhaps when we’re done here, you would like to take a walk with me in my mind.  There are a few things I need to be honest about with you, and some things I’d like you to see as well.  Nothing too bad, but it is only fair for you to be able to see everything about me since you’re doing the same.”  She smiled impishly.  “Besides, I’d like you to see yourself the way I see you.”

A dark brow rose.  “Should I be scared?”

Gwen smacked her arm lightly and laughed.  “Depends on how you feel about color, I guess.  Now let’s move on.  The next one was the hardest for me.”

“You know what happens next?”

“Oh yeah... I was there.”  Gwen gritted her teeth to keep from shuddering in memory.  “It was horrible to watch, but I eventually understood why.  And you were right in what you did.”

Randi looked down at the book.  This one was easier to accept.  For Gwen she would have done much worse, and as it had been visited upon them directly even the woman in her had little difficulty in justifying the deaths of so many.  The warrior had no compunction whatsoever. No justification was necessary.  She had done what had to be done to eliminate a direct threat... period.

The book vanished, much in the same manner as the two before it had done, and Randi moved back to the files to retrieve the next volume.  She was glad to note there were only four more tomes, but their thickness filled Randi with dismay.  Apparently her alter ego had been busy doing all sorts of things that had to be tucked away in the darkness.  Randi closed her eyes, wishing she could have it in a story form – at least then it would be written in the third person and not quite so exclusive to simply being her thoughts.

As though reading her mind, Gwen rose and took the memories from her, placing them delicately on the slab before taking Randi’s hands in her own.  “I have an idea,” she commented casually.  “Do you trust me?”

“Absolutely,” Randi replied without a second’s hesitation.

Gwen smiled.  “Good.  Close your eyes and come with me. I think I know a way to make it a little easier read; something that won’t be quite as personal as your memories.”  Randi squeezed the hands holding hers and closed her eyes, glad to follow where Gwen led.  She felt it becoming lighter, then a breeze blew across her face.  “Open your eyes, Love,” Gwen said with a smile in her voice.  Randi did so slowly, feeling the shock of familiarity run through her frame as she saw their glade surrounding them.  She released Gwen’s hands and did a slow pirouette before she looked her question in Gwen’s direction.  “This was... is... our safe place.  This is the spot in my mind Reed set up for our use during our spirit walk.  She drew on my memories and came up with this.  I’ll have to remember to ask her how and why she managed to choose this place and recreate it so exactly.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” came an amused voice from the far side of the space.  Reed sauntered over to greet the two of them, pleased with the aura she could see surrounding them both.  Not only had they healed the fractures in the bond between them, but she could feel it strengthening almost as a visible thing as they stood together even though they were not physically touching.  “I let you pick,” Reed said to Gwen, thankful for the strength of the shielding that allowed her to be with them in this place together.  “Subconsciously, this is the place you feel the safest... um, that I felt comfortable recreating, anyway,” with a slight blush.  Randi’s response was a rakish grin while Gwen sported a matching blush.  <Ahem>  “So I chose this place.  It had everything you needed for a safe haven, and the best part was it was fairly simple to isolate.  Now,” turning suddenly serious, “how are things going for the two of you?  Honestly – because I can see that it is draining you both in at least some respects,” noting the exhaustion they both wore as a cloak around them and the dark circles under both sets of eyes.

Gwen slid into place at Randi’s heart, wrapping one arm firmly around her waist and feeling Randi’s arm drape possessively over her shoulders.  They tangled their fingers together almost absently, and Reed could feel the bond running through them as its own entity, stronger than it had ever been.  And with that action her question was answered.  But Gwen opened her mouth to speak and Reed was curious to hear her thoughts – to know what she could now see so plainly between them seemed like to them.

“It is, Reed.  But it’s a good thing too.  We are learning things about each other that we would never know otherwise.”  Randi didn’t speak but wrapped Gwen tighter in her embrace and Reed shuddered at the depth of emotion she felt rolling off them in waves.

“Just don’t lose your essence.  What you’re doing has never been done before and with no guide....”

Gwen brow furrowed.  “What do you mean this has never been done before?  I thought spirit walks were common among the people.”

Reed nodded.  “Oh, they are.  But everyone’s journey is usually as individual as the person taking it; no one has ever had a spirit walk like yours - not even remotely similar.  And never have we had anyone go through together as a couple on the same trek like you and Randi are now... especially with no guides.  That is my concern.  If you need help or have questions, come here.  I am monitoring this room and will know.”

“Do you know why I feel like I’m... uh, it’s like... there’s warmth, you know... from outside... something more than just Gwen and I together.  Is it you?”

Reed looked at Randi, understanding her confusion if not her tongue tied-ness.  “Does it feel like you’re being cocooned?” waiting for Randi’s nod.  “It’s Sky and Tiny.  They are doing for you what Rosie and I are doing for Gwen... lending strength and support.  It’s the best we can manage under the circumstances.”  She blew out an exasperated breath.  “Honestly, if I had known you two were just going to take off on your own like that, I would have made a few different arrangements.”

“Sorry,” Randi mumbled.  “I think I screwed up any number of things here lately.”

Reed blinked at her.  “Don’t prejudge, Randi.  Go into every event you witness with an open mind.  It’s not going to be anything like you imagined it to be.”

“Isn’t it?” bitterly.  She would have moved away but Gwen’s hold on her was too strong.  Randi was at once startled and grateful, and it showed in the look she gave Gwen who looked back at her with a fierce possessiveness.  Reed waited for them to finish their silent communication, knowing immediately when Randi surrendered to her soul’s other half.  “All right,” Randi capitulated, rubbing her eyes with their joined hands.  Then she turned to look at Reed again.  “But when this is all over....”

“When this is all over there are going to be some tough decisions that you’re going to have to make.  And there is going to be some hard discussion as well.  But until then this is a place where you can both come to have a bit of a respite from... well, everything.  I will only come if you call for me.  Now I should go and let you have a bit of peace to enjoy together.  I know this is hard.  But I want you to know that we are all pulling for you both.”

“All?”

Reed nodded though she didn’t elaborate except to say, “You have far more friends on your side that you can possibly imagine.”  She started to walk away.

“Reed wait,” Gwen called, reassuring Randi with her eyes before releasing her grip and moving over to the seer.  Randi took the opportunity to walk down to the water’s edge, noting that even its temperatures was correct to her memory with warmth swirling between the cool currents.  She smiled when she felt Gwen’s touch on her back.  “I’m going to go retrieve my diaries for us to share together.  Would you like to walk with me or stay here?”

“You keep your memories locked away?” Randi asked with a frown.  “Why?  I would’ve thought....”

Gwen laced her hands through Randi’s dark hair gently caressing her face in the process.  “Shh,” she instructed.  “It’s not what you’re thinking at all.  When Reed realized what our spirit walk was going to entail, she made sure my diaries of recent events were made available for us to share together on our walk.  Even though I do remember what happened, my diaries are filled with much richer detail than I could consciously recall, and I want you to know everything... even the things I am not really proud of.”

Randi’s frowned deepened.  What could Gwen have done that she could be ashamed of?  Especially compared to my actions??  Aloud she said, “So you knew we would have to do this... walk through our memories together?”

Gwen shook her head.  “No, I didn’t.  But Reed knew you would have to face your darkness.  And she knows me well enough to know that I would want to share that with you, and sharing means my side as well as yours.  So she and Rosie made it happen.”

Randi considered this for a long moment, then nodded.  “So where do we need to go?”

Gwen cringed just a little.  “Not far... we have to get into the creative side.  And we have to be fairly quick. Reed said it’s not safe for us to be roaming around out there with no guide.”

“She’s really hung up about the fact that we are doing this without her, isn’t she?” Randi asked.  They walked slowly in deference to Randi’s still injured body.

“I think it is more concern than anything else with it being such a unique situation.  I mean, most people don’t go wandering around into other people’s minds and memories.  We don’t want to screw anything up,” not mentioning Reed’s frantic concern about them wandering out into Gwen’s mind alone.  Gwen was determined that Randi be able to see herself the way that Gwen saw her.

“Good point,” Randi conceded.  “Sorry to be flippant about it.  To be real honest, this whole situation is right on up there on my freak meter.”

Gwen chuckled lightly.  “Normal human reaction there, Love.  I think we’re all a little freaked at this point.  But you know something, weird as it is... hard as it is... I’m glad for the chance to do this together.  We’ve never had an opportunity like this before.  Now c’mon.  Reed said we just had to head this way and....”  Gwen stopped speaking when Randi jerked to a halt.  They had crossed from the safe room into a swirl of color and light that was nearly blinding, and Randi’s immediate reaction was to come to a halt to assess the situation.  She looked around in wonder, then turned her attention back to Gwen whose face reflected her delight.  The space was immaculate, but it sang with energy and creativity.  The color was ever changing and Randi swore she could hear snippets of music.  There was texture that she could feel though she wasn’t actually touching anything, and Randi closed her eyes and grasped her chest as her senses started to overload.  Gwen’s expression turned to one of concern.  “Sweetheart?”

“Gwen, can we move a little faster?” shaking her head and trying to clear it.  “I’m... uh....”  She went to her knees and Gwen followed suit.

“Randi, focus on me.  Listen to my voice and slowly open your eyes.  C’mon, let me see those baby blues.  Look at me, Sweetheart.  C’mon.  Take my hand and open your eyes. That’s it.”

Randi let Gwen’s voice lull her into a place of comfort and slowly opened her eyes, letting those green orbs become her whole world.  She followed where Gwen led, never dropping her gaze or losing the soothing sound of her voice until they were back in the safe room.  Randi took a deep breath and let the breeze and the tinkling sound of flowing water wash over her and slow her rapid heartbeat.  Finally she blinked, feeling Gwen’s hands easing her discomfort.

“Sorry,” she said roughly.  “I don’t know where that came from.”

Gwen leaned forward and kissed her forehead.  “My fault,” she said softly.  “Reed told me it was probably a bad idea... warned me it could be dangerous, but I wanted so badly to show you what I saw when I looked at you.”

“Waitaminute... we went out there when you knew it was a bad idea?  Gwen, this is serious.  Do you know what kind of damage we could have done to you or had done to us?  This isn’t a game.”

“No, it isn’t.  It’s deadly serious.  We’ve staked everything that we are and hope to be on the outcome of this little venture.  The truth is I expected it to affect me more than you since it’s my mind we’re wandering around in.  But I felt it was worth the risk for you to see what I see when I look at you.”

“Oh, Love... please don’t take that kind of risk again.  If it’s that important to you, we’ll figure something out but don’t put yourself in jeopardy like that again.  I need you with me.”

“As I need you, Stud.  So let me go retrieve those diaries and then we’ll go back to your cubby since I get the distinct impression that that’s the place you have to be to face the darkness.”

Randi nodded.  “Just be quick, please?  And be careful.”

Gwen noted the paleness of Randi’s features and placed a light kiss on her forehead.  “Quick as I can, Love,” she agreed.  Then she moved back out of the safe room to reclaim her written memories of the events of their recent past.

************

“Oh Great Spirit,” Sky mumbled as he slumped forward.  Only the number of hands supporting him kept him from toppling over completely and falling into Randi’s not-so-healing body.  Tiny quickly assessed the situation, noting Randi’s rapid pulse and shallow breathing and realized instantly something had happened within the dreamscape that had cause such an intense reaction.

“Sky?  Sky, stay with me all right?  I’m going to try to do a bit of creative rearranging here to see if we can channel a little more strength.  All right?”

Sky nodded, never releasing his hold on Randi and tried to focus his breathing.  He kept his eyes closed and felt the movement around him, suddenly aware of being completely surrounded by raw brute strength.  He felt his heart rate begin to calm and his breathing slow as renewed energy began to flow through his veins.  At the same time he opened his eyes and saw Randi’s own physical response to whatever trauma she had encountered settle and become normal again.

“Sky, what happened?” Jill asked from her place between Geoff and Randi.  Their moving around had left her and Geoff to brace Randi’s torso while channeling their joint strength.  Tiny had moved around to help Sky maintain his connection to Randi’s essence in the dreamscape knowing his strength would be best suited to that assignment.

Sky shook his head, grateful for Tiny’s support.  He was infinitely glad Tiny had so much experience with seers and the issues that came with doing things like this.  His familiarity with both the seer’s side and this particular situation made him perfect for this.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly.  “It felt like sensory overload.”  He shook his head again.  “We might be able to ask Reed eventually.  It was very odd.”

Tiny nodded, not surprised.  It seemed like everything the two of them touched was as unique and different from everyone else as they could make it.

“Figures,” Geoff muttered with a chuckle.  “If there’s a hard way to do something, those two will find it and do it that way.”

“Yes!” the other three in the room agreed with wry laughter, breaking the tension that had held them in its grasp.  Then they turned once more to their vigil.

************

“Can we do that?”

“Do what exactly?” Artemis asked with some asperity.  She had been so attentive to what was happening and supporting Dite that she had absolutely no clue what Athena was referring to.

“Can we let Randi see herself as Gwen sees her?”

“Yes,” Dite answered with some authority as she recovered her breathing.  That little incident had been scarier than she wanted to admit, physically affecting her like it had Randi.  “If... when they make it through this spirit quest together, we can do that with little danger to either of them.  Gwen took a seriously major risk trying to introduce Randi to her mind like that.  That could have killed them both.”

Athena nodded.  “Agreed.  I’ll go have a bit of a talk with Rosie and see if they can somehow convey that little fact to Gwen.  She shouldn’t be taking chances like that!”

“No,” Artemis said.  “But she didn’t become an Amazon Queen by waiting for things to happen to her either.  It bites that they started this walk without guidance.  It makes the whole thing a dubious prospect at best.”

“Well, I’ll make sure they explain it to her, and the fact that Gwen will get her wish about showing Randi what she sees.”  Athena turned to Dite.  “Do you know what this vision Gwen has looks like at all?”

“Oh yeah,” the love goddess practically growled.  “And all I can say is I so love the way that rocking bard thinks!”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the other two goddesses smiled in sympathy with Dite’s enthusiasm.  How could they fail with that kind of passion on their side?

Part 2