Chapter VII

You’re a coward, Miranda Valiant.  You didn’t even give her a chance to say anything!  I can’t take the chance.  I can’t risk that what I remember is only a dream.  She knows where to find me when she’s ready to talk.  She WAS ready to talk!  She grabbed her head in her hands, hoping to still the argument she was losing with herself.

The pilot who had been summoned didn’t say a word, but merely waited while his passenger collected her belongings from the hotel room and rejoined him.  He did silently wonder what caused the tears that slid down her face, but even as he wondered, he saw her wipe them away.  He looked away, respecting her privacy.  The next time he looked back to announce their landing, her face was a stoic mask.  Randi went into the house only briefly to take care of her armor and equipment.  It was a habit so ingrained, she didn’t even think about it.  But when she was finished and the house was silent, a heavy depression settled on her shoulders.

“Why’d you run away, Warrior Babe?”  The love goddess sounded almost disappointed.  “You didn’t even give her a chance.”

Randi became immediately defensive.  “I’m giving her a chance now, Aphrodite.  She’s all over the place.  Doesn’t know what she wants.  I’m giving her some space to put things in perspective.”

“No, you’re hiding... running away from her feelings and yours.”

“NO!   She has no feelings for me anymore, remember?  We’re ‘just friends’.”  The pain in Randi’s voice resonated through the sarcasm.

“Did you hear a thing I said to you yesterday??  Were you listening at all?”  Randi tilted up her head, looking at Aphrodite through confused, grief-filled eyes.  It was then that the goddess noticed the scarring still on Randi’s face.  “What happened to you?”  She touched the rough skin, pulling back instantly when Randi flinched at her gentle touch.

“It’s nothing,” Randi mumbled.  “Please, Dite.  Just leave me in peace for a while.  Please.”

Aphrodite stood looking at her for a long moment before lightly touching the bowed head.  She frowned in thought and with a soft kiss to the scar she disappeared.  Randi fell almost immediately into a deep, troubled sleep.

************

“What happened, Little Girl?  I thought ya’ll were gonna work things out.”  This from Jill.  Geoff was still in the regen unit and was once again sleeping.  The doctor was cautiously optimistic now about his regaining use of his entire upper body. His responses had all been normal, and they were waiting for him to wake up to give him a more thorough testing.

“We were, Mama.  We are.  She just... I dunno.  Maybe she needs a little space.”  Her eyes went distant, and her hand impulsively grasped the chain around her neck.  “I remember....”  A sharp pain lanced through her head and drew a gasp from deep in her chest.  Jill immediately took her arm and ushered her to a chair. 

“You all right, Gwen?”

“Yes, Mother.  Thank you.  I just get this pain in my head sometimes.”

Jill looked at her daughter strangely.  “Really?  When did this start?”

“I’m not sure.  Fairly recently?”  A pause.  “I dunno.  It just bothers me when I try to remember sometimes.”

“That’s odd.  Maybe we should get you seen for that also.”  It was then that her eyes were drawn to Gwen’s naked fingers, and she wondered where her ring was.  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask, but she stopped, knowing a better opportunity would present itself later.  “What were you gonna say you remembered, Dear?”

“I remember she’s gone away and come back before and needed some space.  If what she went through before was anything like what I saw....”  Gwen shuddered involuntarily in reaction.  “Mama, it was so horrible.  And she was so cold, so....  It didn’t matter to her that he was a human being.”  She swallowed.  “I think she feels she loses her humanity when she goes out on these trips.  Not that I can disagree right now, but maybe she needs the space to recover it.  So she’s comfortable in her own skin again.”

“Do you really think so, Daughter?  Or are you trying to justify staying away from her now?  You remember what your father told you last night.”

“Yes, Mama, I do.  There were times she’d go away before... Mama, I remember the first time she disappeared for weeks when I first worked at Midas.  We were just becoming friends....”

It became still in the room, save for the quiet sounds of machinery running in the background while Gwen got lost in her memories of the past.  Jill noted that once again Gwen’s hand reached for her chain and stayed there until Jill put a hand on her daughter’s knee.  “Gwen?”

“Hmm?  Oh, I was telling you about Randi.  She was gone; no word, no warning, no explanation.  For three weeks, she simply up and disappeared.  When she came home, she avoided me for a while.  She avoided everybody.  It took her a long time to open up again.  I think she would probably like a bit of privacy to regroup from... this.”  Gwen put her hand back to her chest, and her head fell forward.  Her voice became the merest whisper, and Jill saw two tears hit the shiny floor before she heard a word spoken.  “I think I need a bit of privacy to regroup as well.”

Jill understood both the spoken and unspoken words, and with a comforting squeeze to Gwen’s shoulder she rose and moved back to her husband’s side.  Gwen sat until her vision cleared, then without another word, left the chamber in search of some fresh air and solitude.

************

Tommy was thrilled to hear the shuttle set down and take off again almost immediately.  That meant Randi was home and that only meant good news.  He was quite certain she’d been telling the truth about not coming back without Gwen and until he heard the shuttle, that had, quite frankly, scared him.  He had no desire to lose her again.  And he knew without Gwen that was a real possibility.  So he picked up his son, kissed his wife goodbye and headed across the island to see his best friend.  His happy steps slowed when he saw her sitting at the deck table, staring out at nothing, alone.  She held a bottle of whiskey loosely in her hands, and he stood in silence for a moment simply watching her.  He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw tracks of tears on her face, but it was nearly impossible to be sure.

“WUV!”  Randall’s voice rang out to disturb the quiet, and he watched as she surreptitiously brushed a hand across her eyes before waving them over.

“Hey there, Boy!”  Randall leapt into her arms, and she hugged him tight til he squirmed.  She sat down with him, keeping her attention focused on him for the moment.  He wouldn’t ask probing questions or so she thought.

The child played with her hair and patted her cheeks, chattering at her a mile a minute.  Randi tried hard not to flinch when he hit the scar and mostly succeeded.  She nodded and answered him back as best she could.  After a few minutes though, he took her face in his small hands and looked her squarely in the eye.  She found the intenseness of his focus a bit daunting coming from one so young, but she met him stare for stare.  “Wuv, where’s Wen?  Want tory.”

That almost broke her.  She took a deep breath, keeping her gaze on Randall though she was intently aware of Tommy’s scrutiny.  She took a deep breath and finally looked at Tommy.  “Her daddy got hurt really badly, and she needed to stay with her folks for a few days.”

“Is he gonna be okay?”  Concern radiated from Tommy.

“They don’t know,” on a shaky breath.  “It doesn’t look good for his being able to walk again.”

“So what are you doing here?  Why aren’t you there with her supporting them?”  A bit of accusation in his tone.

“It’s long and drawn out, Tommy.  Let’s just say this is the best place for me to be right now and leave it at that.”

“Why don’t you draw it out for me?”

“Because it’s none of your goddamn business!!  Now let it alone!”

He got up and stormed off, leaving Randall in her arms.  He knew she would take care of the boy, and he sensed instinctively she needed that connection right now.  He just had to get some space.   He walked a little, out of her sight but not out of hearing.  Something terrible had happened this time out, and he’d bet his last credit it had everything to do with Gwen.  He sent up a prayer for them.  It was time they got a little peace together.  He was just making his way back when he heard the whispered conversation between his son and Randi.

“Wuv?”

“Hmm?”

“Miss Wen.  Wuv her.”

“I know, Buddy.”  She hugged the toddler tightly.  “Me too.”

He watched as she got up and moved the two of them to the hammock.  Randall wiggled around for a few moments until Tommy heard a low hum coming from the Sabre.  The boy lay his head down on her chest, sighing in contentment.  The sound of her voice and the sway of the swing lulled him to sleep, and it wasn’t long before his comforting presence beckoned Randi to join him.  Tommy waited until he was sure she was asleep before he took up a sentinel’s post at the table to keep watch over them.  He wondered, as he watched his two special people sleep, what had happened to make Randi cry.  And he speculated why Randi was not with Gwen.  None of the conclusions he reached were good.  He would contact Jill later.  He was fairly sure he could get to the truth.  Maybe there would be something he could do to help.

************

Gwen found a small gate at the back of the garden that led to a tiny stream.  The light danced across the ripples of water, creating sparkles in the reflected sunlight.   She took a seat near the edge, entranced by the sight and sounds the surrounded her.  She let her mind drift, finding comfort in not having to focus or think or feel.  For right now, in this moment, she was content to simply be.  There would be time later to think and feel and analyze.  She felt her battered soul being soothed and closed her eyes in contentment.  She found her mind wandering to the meditation techniques Randi had taught her, and she concentrated on letting herself float away in them.

Unbidden, a picture of Randi standing naked before her flashed in front of her and the green eyes opened abruptly.  What the hell??  Where did that come from??  She concentrated on slowing her suddenly rapid heartbeat, the tightening in her groin making her shift uncomfortably.  What is wrong with me?  This is Randi... my best friend.  But she couldn’t stop the image from reoccurring nor the flood of warmth it caused.

Gwen was so intent on trying to banish the disturbing thoughts that she didn’t hear the footsteps approach her from behind.  She squealed and jumped when a large hand came down gently on her shoulder.  Her eyes opened, and Tiny looked back at her in concern.  Gwen’s face flushed in embarrassment.  She knew the big man couldn’t see her thoughts, but nevertheless....  He arched an eyebrow at her quizzically, wondering what he’d missed.  Something was going on, that much was certain.  Randi had stopped by very briefly on her way out and asked him to keep an eye on her.  He’d been happy to agree though more than a little intrigued on why it would be necessary.  The two of them hadn’t been apart for more than a few minutes at a time since Randi’s return from the dead up until the kidnapping.  What could have changed between them in those few short days that they are now so far apart by choice?  “You okay, Gwen?

She swallowed and took a deep breath, thankful to have something else to focus on.  “Yes, Tiny, thanks for asking.  How’s Reed?”

He smiled.  “Better.  Better than we had a right to expect at this point actually.  If her progress continues steadily, we will be home before the weekend.  We’ll be there when Ditto has her puppies.”

“Oh, that’s right!” slapping her forehead.  “I’d forgotten all about that.”

“Well, things have been kinda hectic for you lately.  How’s your dad?”

“He was sleeping the last time I saw him, but I got to speak to him earlier.  His recovery is going to be slow.  He does have the use of most of his upper body, and they are saying he will fully recover his range of motion.  The rest though,” she shook her head sadly.  “That will be up to him, but they’re not holding out much hope.”

Tiny clasped his hands around one upraised knee and looked thoughtfully across the water.  “The mind is a powerful tool, Gwen.  I’ve seen people do things they shouldn’t be able to do because they made up their minds to do so.  Don’t discount the human will.  If Geoff wants it badly enough, there’s no telling what he can accomplish.”

It was quiet for a while then as Gwen digested his words and tried to find a tactful way to ask a question that had been haunting her.  Finally she decided blunt was best.  “Tiny, have you ever killed anyone?”

The large Sabre looked directly in her eyes, and she flinched involuntarily at the pain she found gazing back at her.  So this is the problem, eh?  Well, let me see if I can help make this better.  I owe Randi that much at least.  He cleared his throat.  “Yes, I have.  Many times.”  He swallowed and returned his gaze to the water.  “And it never gets easier.”  He paused and Gwen waited, sensing he had more to say.  “Even when it’s justified; even when it’s the right thing to do - it’s a very difficult thing to live with; a terrible burden to bear.”

“Then why do it?  Isn’t everyone entitled to live?”

“Oh, if only it were that simple, my friend.”  He hesitated and looked at her briefly.  He saw her honest confusion and tried to answer the unspoken question.  “Do you remember a talk we had a few months ago, about what the Sabres are?”

Blonde brows furrowed, and she concentrated.  “I think so.”  She rubbed her forehead.  “I’m not sure.  You want to refresh my memory?”

He looked at her curiously, then patiently explained again about the Sabres, their purpose and their mission.  She sat listening to him thoughtfully, trying to put together the pieces.  “It’s not a life any of us would have chosen, Gwen, given the choice, but it is a duty we do our best to fulfill with honor.  As ugly as the job is, the world needs us to keep the peace.  To keep millions of innocents safe from the thousands who would do them harm.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Parts of it, yes,” he answered honestly.  “But most of it, no.  It is very trying.  Even more so for Randi, I think.”

Gwen cocked her head inquisitively.  “Why do you say that?”

“I have Reed, and even though we can’t always discuss the details of our missions with one another, we understand what it’s like.  We know what the other is going through.  Randi, well, she never had anyone to share that side of herself with.  And she’s always been the best, Gwen.  She’s always gotten stuck with the hard jobs.”

“So why does she go away from people?  Why doesn’t she share that with someone?  Let someone help her bear that burden?”  Gwen was starting to see things in a little different light.

“It’s not who she is, Gwen.  You know that.  She would never consciously ask someone, anyone, to take on the weight of her life as a Sabre.”  He looked the woman squarely in the eyes.  “You will have to offer to share the load, and coax her until she is willing and able to share with you.  But you will have to be the one to take the first step.  She would never ask you to bear what she considers to be an unforgivable past.”  He rose then, turning back toward the building.  He stopped when he reached the gate.  “Think about it, Gwen.  She needs you and your faith in her, but you have to be willing to share her darkness as well as her light.”

Oh, my friend.  I hope that helped.  I don’t understand everything that is going on here, but I know you need to get through this together.  He thought about his lover who had cried stinging tears just before she’d sent him to look for Gwen.  “Go to her, Tiny.  There’s something not right between them, and it needs to be fixed.”  He could only hope his words would be enough.

Gwen sat for a few more minutes, thinking over his words.  The truth in them hurt her, especially for Randi’s sake.  So much pain, my friend.  So much for you to bear.  Will you share with me if I ask you to?  Can I accept the darkness?  Would you be willing to let me help you?  It was a while before her mind stopped whirling with questions, and she got up to go talk to her father.

Geoff was glad to be awake.  He felt as though he had slept for days.  The doctor was pleased with his progress so far, at least as far as his upper body was concerned.  He was able to sit on his own, and the fact that he could hug his wife completely was a blessing he was thrilled to experience again.  They sat cuddled together quietly, having emerged from the regen chamber for a while.  Though they all knew he would have to go back in, the doctor was glad to give him a break, knowing he needed a bit of quality time with his family.

“How do you feel, love?”  Jill stroked her hands through his short-cropped hair. 

“Like I got hit in the back with a mace,” he quipped lightly.  She looked at him seriously.  “I’ve been better, Sweetheart, but I’ve also been worse.”  He hugged her to him tightly.  “We’ll get through this.”

She sighed and squeezed him back.  “Yeah, we will.  I just hope Gwen and Randi will.”

He pushed her back away from him slightly, so he could look into her eyes.  “Why?  What happened?”

“Do you know...?  Wait.  Let me start from the beginning.  I don’t want to confuse the issue any more than it already is.  You know Ben was the kidnapper, correct?”  He nodded.  “And I guess you know the story behind it.”

“Um hmm.  At least I think so.”

She sighed.  “Long story short... apparently he is tied in to someone who died when Randi did, and he blamed Randi for this person’s death.  He took Gwen in retaliation.  What you don’t know is that he somehow managed to make Gwen forget about her love for Randi.  As far as she is concerned, they are simply best friends.”

“Damnation!  Not again.”

“Uh huh.  Aphrodite told Randi to keep the faith, but she’s struggling with it right now.”  A beat.  “Gwen watched her gut Ben.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.  And she’s gone back home and left Gwen here.  I don’t know if it was self defense or a desire to give Gwen some space.”  She paused.  “I think maybe it was a little bit of both.  But we’ve got to do something, Geoff.  Those two kids belong together.”

“Let’s play it by ear, Hon.  We’ll do what we can.  For now though,” he motioned toward the door where their daughter stood hesitating, not wanting to intrude.  “Let’s see what’s on her mind.”  He waved Gwen in.

“I’ll tell you what... I’m going to give the two of you a little privacy to talk in.  I need to go back to the hotel to shower and change.  I’m betting she’ll open up to you better if it’s just the two of you alone.”

He smiled at her as Gwen approached the bed.  “I love you, Mrs. Goldman.  Don’t take too long.”

“I love you, Mr. Goldman.  I’ll be back shortly.”  She kissed her husband soundly, squealing when he pinched her firmly on the behind.  She turned to her daughter.  “Thanks for keeping an eye on your old man for me, Little Girl.  I never know what kind of trouble he will get into when my back is turned.”  She gave Gwen a peck and walked out the door.

Geoff patted the bed, thankful again for the time away from the regen chamber.  “What’s up, Gwen?” going right for the heart of the matter.  “You look disturbed.”

She looked at him a long time before she looked away, realizing that he too must share the service bond that Randi, Reed and Tiny did.  “Daddy, have you ever killed someone?”

Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn’t been this.  This came from out of nowhere and blindsided him.  Of all the discussions in the world, this was one of the few he had never thought he’d ever have to have with her.  While these thoughts were running through his head, he realized he was going to have to share a lot of this with Jill as well.  It was time she understood what he had been... what Randi was.  His answer was clearly written on his face before he spoke, and Gwen turned away a bit at the knowledge.  “Does it change the way you feel about me, Gwen?” he asked sadly.  “I am still the same person I’ve always been.”

“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you, I don’t think, but it does change my view of you.  It’s probably not very fair of me, but there it is.  It’s the truth.”

He reached for her hand, pleased when she didn’t pull away from him.  “Let me tell you something, Gwen.  This is something I’ve found to be true throughout the entire Sabre unit.  No one... NO ONE would have chosen this duty as a way of life.  But there always has to be someone who stands between the innocent and those who would defile them.  The Sabres are the first line of defense, and not one of us would hesitate to kill to protect our loved ones and our way of life.  Now Ben did some horrible things.  I don’t know the whole story of why he turned, but I do know he was a threat and had caused hundreds, maybe even thousands, to die.  Now Randi’s reasons for gutting him were as much personal as they were military.  But you can bet your last credit that any member of this team would have done the same thing.”

“Even you?”

“Especially me.  He had to be eliminated.  The fact that he took you and threatened you simply gave Randi first shot.  He had no hope of coming out of there alive, and he knew it.”

“But why, Daddy?  What do you all, does she, get out of killing?”  Tears welled up in her eyes and clung to her lashes.  He smiled sadly in sympathy with the confusion he saw shining so brightly through the pain.

“Oh, Baby Girl.  She has lived with guilt and grief and self-loathing since becoming a trained killer.  She has learned to hide away parts of her for fear she can’t be loved.  The only thing she gets from killing is a heavier burden to bear.  Do not judge her too harshly, Daughter.  She is hard enough on herself.”

“I don’t want to judge her, Daddy.  I want to understand, but every time I close my eyes and see her running that blade into him....”

He nodded.  “Would you be willing to talk to the doctor here, Gwen?  Dr. Litzer is a Sabre; has talked to most of us; understands not only what we do, but also how we feel.  Perhaps he could help you.  He’ll be glad to listen, and if you want he can even try to explain.”  She hesitated, and he continued.  “I know it sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but it may help.”  He paused again.  “It certainly can’t hurt.”  She nodded slowly in agreement then, and he squeezed her hands.  “Good girl.  Let’s get him in here.”

************

When Jill returned from her outing Jerry was sitting with Geoff, and Gwen was nowhere to be seen.  She raised an eyebrow in question and her husband simply lifted a hand, inviting her to join him on the bed.  “Jerry was kind enough to come keep me company while Gwen talked to the doctor.  He was bringing me up to speed on everything.”

The Commandant rose from his place.  “I don’t want to intrude so I’ll leave you two alone.  You get to work on walking, my friend.  I expect to see you up and about soon.”

“Is that an order, sir?” with a slight twinkle in his eyes.

“It can be, sailor... just remember that,” said with a smile.  “Now I need to get back to work, but I’ll be back to check on you.”

“Thanks, Jerry.”  Jill sat quietly, marveling at Geoff’s capacity for forgiveness.

“No, thank you, Geoff.  This mission was so costly... so... needless....”  He trailed off, unsure of what to say.  “So thank you, my friend.”  And he walked out slowly, mindful of his newly healed leg.

The Goldmans sat for a long moment, both staring at the empty doorway where Jerry had made good his exit.  Then simultaneously they turned and looked at one another.  “Well, that was... interesting,” Jill commented.

Geoff looked thoughtful.  “C’mere.”  Jill slid obligingly into his waiting embrace, sighing in contentment when his strong arms closed around her.  He let the surrounding peace permeate his senses until his soul became saturated with the warmth of it.  “You haven’t asked any questions about all this... about the things you have seen and heard here.”

“No.”

“Why?  Don’t you want to know?”

She sat up a little at this, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes.  “Geoff, from the little bit I have learned in the two days I have been here, it is obvious this was, at some point, a part of your life.  A part that I have never been privy to.  If you want to share with me, I would be honored.  And if you can’t, well... I have learned there are some things I can live with without ever understanding.  I have you back in my arms again and that is more than enough for me right now.”

He pulled her back into his embrace, kissing her hard and long.  When they drew back slightly breathless, he gazed into her eyes.  “I love you, Jill.  Let me tell you the story of the Black Sabres.”

************

Randi didn’t doze very long.  The weight in her arms was wrong, and it brought her out of the light haze she had fallen into.  She smiled a little crooked grin at the boy she cradled, picking up a fist that curled reflexively around her own.  She listened and heard Tommy nearby.  She let the child fall into a deeper sleep, then carefully stood and put him in his father’s arms.  “Go home, Tommy.  I’ve got things to do.”

He hesitated, but the look in her eyes was serious.  He nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek.  “Just remember we all love you, okay?  Take care of yourself.”  He walked off without a backwards glance, knowing what he would hear.  He hadn’t crossed into the treed area between the two properties before he heard the sound of the motorcycle engine.  Always before when she was disturbed, she’d taken the bike out and let the sound run full throttle.  He’d suspected this time would be no different, and he grimaced in self-knowledge.  He turned and watched as she sped off recklessly toward the bridge.  Tommy shook his head.  He needed to find out what was really going on.

************

Gwen walked in to the doctor’s office, looking around at the various hologrids he had hanging there.  He had an entire wall full of old-fashioned, paper-filled books and these were what caught her attention and held her imagination.  She didn’t understand the titles to most of them, but there were a couple rows that seemed to be nothing but fictional tales and biographies.  The rest of the space was quite comfortable, tending more toward the technical functionality of the present.  She chose a chair, only then noting that the doctor sat comfortably at his desk, his eyes following her with twinkling amusement.  “Oh!”

“They capture everyone’s attention.  It is one of the reasons I have them.  Nobody can resist a look, even those of us who still use paper and maintain handwriting as a skill.”

“Where did you get so many?  Are they all real?”

“Oh, yes.  They are quite real.  I am quite a collector though a lot of these were in the family and survived the war.”

“Do you read them?  They look to be well read but also well cared for.”

“I have indeed read quite a few of them.  It is more soothing when the words aren’t moving for you, for some reason.”

“I know.  Randi has shared some of her books with me.  I find it much slower going of course, but it is more relaxing.”  Gwen grew quiet at the mention of her friend, and the doctor patiently waited.  He hadn’t been told what the problem was or why she needed to talk, but for now he was content to wait Gwen out and listen. Then he would see what he could do for her.  “Dr. Litzer, are you really a Black Sabre?  Have you really had to do what it seems all these others have done?”

“I really am a Black Sabre, yes, but I’m not sure I understand what you are asking, Ms. Goldman.  What is it you would like to know?”

She swallowed and closed her eyes, once again faced with the image of Randi’s dagger sliding so easily into Ben’s torso.  “The killing, Doctor.  Have you had to kill as well?”  The sadness in his eyes was its own answer, and she closed her eyes again in acknowledgement.  “Why?  How do you all bear it so easily?”

“I never said it was easy, Gwen.  It is the most difficult thing any of us live with.  But it is also a necessary evil.”  He paused.  “I want you to think about something, and I want you to be honest with yourself.  You don’t have to reach a decision today, but I will ask you about it again soon, all right?”  She looked at him warily, then decided he was being up front with her.  Besides it wasn’t like she had to come back if she didn’t like his question.  She nodded her agreement.  “Close your eyes.  I want you to picture in your mind someone who means a lot to you - parent, best friend, significant other - the most special person in your life.”  An image of Randi smiling at her made her smile unconsciously, and the doctor wondered who the lucky bastard was that brought that expression to her lovely visage.  He cleared his throat and continued.  “Do you have them firmly in your mind?”

She nodded.  “Yes.”

“All right then, Gwen.  I want you to think, to seriously consider and then to decide what you would be willing to endure for that person.  Don’t answer now.  I want you to honestly and openly think about it.  And when you find your answer, you come back and we’ll talk some more.”

Slowly the green eyes opened and refocused.  “Thank you, Doctor.  You’ve given me quite a lot to consider.”  She got up and left, deciding to head back to the hotel.  She hadn’t done anything but think all day and though it was just sunset,, she was exhausted.  Some dinner and a good night’s sleep seemed to be in order.

She stopped by her father’s room on the way out and kissed him goodnight.  He was due back in the regen chamber shortly and then Jill would be joining her at the hotel.  She left the two of them wrapped up in the serenity they found in being together, and Gwen cast a wishful thought heavenward to find that for herself one day.  Then she was arriving at the hotel and her only thought was of a warm bath and dinner.


Chapter VIII

Randi rode for a long while with no particular destination in mind.  The sound of the engine drowned out everything else, including her thoughts.  By unintentional design, she found herself speeding down the road that she and Gwen regularly took on their Saturday morning rides.  The scent of barbeque wafting in the clear air made her stomach rumble, and she realized how long it had been since she had eaten.  Rosie came out to greet her, looking around deliberately when she saw Gwen was nowhere to be found.  Her questioning eyes came back to meet Randi’s.

“Her father was terribly injured.  She’s helping her mom out a bit while they try to get him back on his feet.”

“I see.  And you’re not with her because....”

“It’s a family matter.  There really isn’t a place for me there.  And I had stuff here that had to be taken care of.”  She bit her lip.  She couldn’t say any more for fear of either bursting into tears or flying into a rage.  Rosie’s sharp eyes missed little though, and she accepted the Sabre’s words without questioning.  It wasn’t her place at this point and time anyway.

“Well, c’mon in.  You can share dinner with an old woman.”  Randi made to protest and then thought better of it.  Why not?  She’s a lonely woman who wants a bit of company.  It won’t kill me.  Besides, she’s always been kind to Gwen and me.  It won’t hurt to repay the kindness.   She took a deep breath and followed Rosie inside.  Their talk was light and general.  Rosie kept the conversation rolling, telling Randi about her family and the latest exploits of her grandchild.  Randi listened politely, even adding occasional commentary.  The hour passed pleasantly, and it was only when Randi stood to go that the old woman asked the question that had been bothering her.  “What happened to your face, Hon?”

Randi turned away reflexively, becoming more self-conscious about the scarring with every inquiry.  In a society where deformity was unheard of, it was difficult to suddenly be in the possession of one.  “Cut,” she answered briefly.

“And you haven’t been to regen....?”

“Yes, I have.  It won’t,” briskly.  “Look, I appreciate lunch.  But I gotta go.”  She was on the bike and gone before Rosie had processed all her words.  She stood looking after Randi for a long time. Then tapping her fingers on her lips in thought, she turned and headed back into her cottage.  “Oh, Athena,” she prayed aloud, “Let me be wrong about this, please.”

************

“Honey, are you sure you don’t mind?”  Jill and Gwen were having breakfast together.  Gwen’s long soak the night before had become a very short bath, and she had fallen into bed without the benefit of dinner first.  Her exhaustion had taken precedence, but now her hunger was coming to the fore.  Jill just watched in amazement as her daughter continued to devour her breakfast.  “Were you starving, Dear?”

Gwen nodded and swallowed.  “Pretty much.  And no, Mother, I don’t mind.”  She took a sip of juice and cleared her throat.  “You go find a place for you and Daddy.  I’ll go home and pack up your stuff.”

The doctor had come in before Jill had left Geoff’s side the previous evening, and they had spent a bit of time going over treatment possibilities.  The one that looked most promising was quite drawn out and would require at least a temporary move to the capital city.  So now Jill was going to find a place for them to live.  Gwen had offered to travel back up north to retrieve enough of their things to make them comfortable during their stay.

“I’d really appreciate it, Dear.  I’ll tell you what.  I’ll make you a list of what I need and where it is.  You should be able to get it done and be back here in a day or two.”

Gwen nodded her agreement again and swallowed her last morsel of food.  “While you’re doing that, I’m going to go say goodbye to Reed and Tiny.  They should be headed back home before I get back here.”

“All right.  I’ll meet you there then.”

Gwen got up and kissed her mother absently then went to the medifac.  It was quiet when she stepped inside the small building.  The few staff members seemed to be elsewhere at the moment, and a peek at her father showed him back in the regen chamber soundly asleep.  She looked around for Tiny and Reed, hoping she hadn’t missed them.  Chance took her out to the garden, and she saw them sitting contentedly wrapped up in one another’s arms.  It sparked a longing within her, but she pushed it aside.  “Hey, guys!  How ya doing?”

Two heads turned in her direction at the sound of her voice and both smiled a welcome.  Tiny wondered at the flinch he felt tremble through his partner’s body as Gwen neared them.  He looked down in concern, but she didn’t say a word.  He knew it would be up for discussion later.  “Better,” he answered for both of them.  “We’re waiting for the doctor to give us the go ahead and then we are out of here.”  He smiled.  “We’ve gotta get home before those puppies arrive.”

Gwen smiled back.  “I had forgotten all about that,” he words causing Tiny’s brow to furrow.  “Is it still okay for me to come out for the birth?”

Reed nodded.  “Of course.  Ditto would never forgive any of us if you weren’t there.”

Gwen looked squarely at Reed now.  She could see the newly healed tissue in and around her eyes.  “How are your eyes, Reed?”

She shrugged.  “Sensitive but much better.  They still have some healing to do, but they’re going to be fine.”

“I’m glad.”  Gwen sighed.  “I am so sorry you....”

“Enough.  I was glad we could be there for you and for Randi.  And they will heal fine.  How is your dad?”

“Better.  Taking it one day at a time.  They’re going to try a new treatment therapy on him.  It is still going to be a difficult road to travel, but he’s willing to try it to regain the use of his legs.”

“Well given his incentive, I don’t see anything stopping him from walking again.”

Gwen’s brows creased in puzzlement, but then she agreed.  “I’m going to go back home and pack up some stuff for them to have here since they’re gonna have to live here for at least a while.  But I wanted to come say goodbye to you both and wish you luck.  You’ll be gone before I get back.”

“Yep, but you’ll be coming out for the weekend.  Still I’m glad you stopped by to let us know the news.”  Tiny noticed she never mentioned Randi.  “You travel safe, and we’ll see you in a few days, all right?”

“You too.”  She stood and patted Reed’s hand.  “I’m glad you’re gonna be okay, my friend.”

“Thanks, Gwen.”  They watched until she walked out of sight.  Reed looked up sadly at Tiny.  “It’s gone, love.  Their bond is gone.”

************

Randi returned to the beach house very late.  She had long since turned the rumble of the motor off, losing herself in the night sounds of crickets and wind and waves.  She parked the motorcycle, taking care to wipe it down meticulously and tarp it before entering the dark structure.  Almost immediately, the familiar aromas assaulted her and for a very long moment, she feared becoming physically ill.  Knowing there was no where she could go to escape them, she shed her clothes and crawled into the big bed she and Gwen had shared so happily only a few days before.  The sheets still held the bard’s scent, and the warrior was helpless to do anything, aside from curling herself around Gwen’s pillow and crying herself quietly to sleep.

When the sun rose the next morning, Randi woke from a fitful doze.  The first few hazy moments, she lost herself in the familiar scent that surrounded her, and she smiled with pleasure.  But awareness came to her abruptly, and she found she craved the gentle fingers tracing her features in discovery.  She got up and made a haphazard toilet before taking off down the beach for a run.  She needed to make a few decisions and running would give her the clear head she needed.  It didn’t take long, relatively speaking.  By her second lap around the island, she had come to a decision and formulated a plan of attack.  Well Love, if you don’t remember, I’ll just have to remind you.  And this time, I’ll court you like you deserve to be courted.

Aphrodite smiled at her sister when they heard these words.  “You go, Girl,” she whispered the image in her scrying bowl.  “This might work out better than we hoped.”

Artemis smiled.  “I’m glad she finally figured it out.  She had me on pins and needles for a while there.”

“You and me both, Sister.  You and me both.”

Athena walked into the room, a worried frown on her face.  “We may have a more serious problem here than we thought.”

“What’s wrong, The?  Randi has finally figured out what she needs to do, and Gwen is actually trying to understand what happened from the Sabre’s point of view.  Things are slowly coming back together.”  Dite smiled, quite pleased with the turn of events.  The goddess of wisdom chewed her bottom lip, her nervousness causing her sisters grave concern.  “Athena?”  The smile turned to a frown.

“I just spoke to one of my priestess.  You remember Rosie?”  Twin heads nodded simultaneously.  “She comes from a line of shamanesses well practiced in the art of healing.”  She hesitated and the pause grew so lengthy that Artemis felt the need to nudge her along.

“The?  Is there a point here somewhere, or are we supposed to guess?”

“Hmm?  Oh, sorry.  Randi went out riding today and stopped by to see Rosie.  And the shamaness noticed a scar on Randi’s face.”

“I know about that.  I saw it the other day.”

Athena whirled on Aphrodite then.  “Did it occur to you that it might be a problem?”

The blonde goddess looked thoughtful.  “I did wonder about it.  She flinched when I touched it, and it didn’t heal for me.”  Now she frowned.  “What is up with that?”  She looked at her sister.  “Did you want to leave her scarred?”

Athena sighed.  “I had nothing to do with it.  I didn’t stop it from healing.  I didn’t even know it was there until Rosie called it to my attention.”

Artemis held up her hands.  “This is all very interesting, but could we get to the point here?  I’m beginning to get a little confused.”

“Rosie called on me shortly after Randi left.  She noticed the scar and wondered what had happened to cause it and its continued lack of healing.  Assuming that I hadn’t decided to punish Randi for something, she started doing some research.”  The goddess heaved a sigh.  “We know that this Ben person used some ancient practices to hide Gwen’s heart from her.  I suspect he’s done something to Randi as well.  You will remember after Ares lost the warrior to you and the bard, he had his priests brand his warriors to ensure their loyalty to him.  I could never prove it, but I am almost certain many of them were coerced by drugging.”

Both goddesses sucked in a breath.  “How long before we know?”

“I’m thinking it will be extremely slow acting to hide any trace of itself as a gradual change.”

“How do we counteract it?”

Athena simply shook her head.  “I don’t know that we can.  We never had an antidote for it because I could never find anything to work with.”

“Then how can you be sure that’s what happened?”

“I’m not.  I’m just telling you it’s a real possibility.  We’ll have to do some investigation, see what we can find out about it.  Because if Miranda Valiant has become one of Ares chosen, branded warriors even against her will, there is no telling what kind of effect this will have on the world.”  

“Um, why hasn’t he tried this before now?”

The goddess of wisdom sighed again.  “I don’t know.  Rosie is doing some research.  We need to keep an eye on Randi.  I’m thinking Gwen may be the key to all this.  This has been the first time Randi has been truly vulnerable.”

Dite’s head dropped into her hands.  “Just when you think things couldn’t get any more complicated....”

************

Gwen stepped into her parent’s home with a sense of pleasure.  Even all grown up, she found comfort in the sights, sounds and smells of her childhood home.  It was mid-afternoon, and she’d decided just to stay overnight so she wouldn’t have to rush.  She went to the kitchen, fixing a pot of coffee before she moved to the den.  She collected the email there for her folks, knowing her mother hadn’t taken the time to do it in the past few days.  While it downloaded, a file with her name on it caught her eye, and she sat down to look at it.  Her eyes grew big as she read the most recent one, and she stared at it for a long moment before going to the beginning of the folder.

    Midas is one of the most fascinating places I’ve ever worked.  The people here are kind and pretty friendly.  I could really learn to like it here.  I made a new friend today in fact.  Her name is Miranda Valiant, and she’s a retired Marine gunnery sergeant.  She’s very decorated and quiet.  A private individual, but she strikes me as exceedingly complex.  I think I’m going to like getting to know her better.  More later.

    The more I talk to her, the more I have to wonder about what makes her tick.  Randi is such an interesting person.  Extremely intelligent and knowledgeable on any number of subjects.  We have a lot of common interests.  I stayed the night with Randi last night.  Tommy had a party at his place, and Randi asked me to stay over.  We talked until the sun came up about everything and nothing at all.  I don’t think I have ever had so much fun.  She asked me to help her decorate the spare bedroom at her beach house.

    Well, I’m not *helping* her decorate... I’m doing it for her!  She said, since I’m going to be the one using it, I should pick out what I like. She seems very lonely... worse than me, I think.  I’m glad she let me be her friend.  I think she needs me as much as I need her.  

    I wish I knew what I could do to help her.  She’s so lost, so alone, and she won’t talk to me.  She won’t talk to anyone.  She’s closed off, and I don’t know how to help her.  It hurts to see her like this.

    I hate this.  I finally have a best friend, and now I have to be gone for the next eighteen months.  On the plus side, she’s promised to keep in touch with me faithfully, and she’s never broken a promise to me.  But, God, I am going to miss her.

    I don’t know if I laughed or cried more this Festival.  It was so wonderful to see everyone even via vid comm., but damn, it made me miss everybody so much more.  Already I am counting the days until I get to go home.  Funny, it is the first place I’ve been I ever looked at as home.

    Oh, God!  That was the best week of my life.  I haven’t had that much fun in years.  But it was so hard to leave again.  I will be so glad to settle here.  This military tour scares me a little bit.  But then I think of Randi, and I know that her service career was tough.  Maybe it would have been easier if she’d had some kind of diversion like this.  I have to hold on to the thought that this might help someone even just a little.

    I’ve been out in the heat too long.  I could have sworn I saw Randi here this afternoon.

    This is really bad.  I miss my best friend so much that I am seeing her in places she can’t possibly be.  I’m so glad this will be over soon.  I want to go home.

    My heart hurts.  She wasn’t here to meet me when I got home, and she’s been avoiding me since she got back from... wherever she disappears to when she leaves.  It’s time for a showdown.  We can’t keep on like this.

    My God!  She sings... and dances!  Why has she been hiding this talent?  She could be part of the Artists’ Guild, if she wanted to be.

    What an awesome birthday!  She sang to me.  And the song she chose... so beautiful.  One of my very favorites.  But she’s gone again.  Why does she leave like that??  Is she running from something??

    Oh, um... God!  Randi is so beautiful.  I’ve known that I suppose, but seeing her naked today....  It makes my skin tingle and my mouth dry just to think about it again.  I wonder if there is something wrong with me.  Best friends don’t react that way to each other, do they?  But I can’t help it.  My body is responding to her ways I never thought I’d feel towards anyone.  I can’t think about this anymore.  It’s making me crazy.

    Can you believe her?  Thinking I would choose Scott over her!  Even if he wasn’t engaged to be married, God, I would still choose her.  She’s my best friend and the things she makes me feel.... Can I let go and just let myself feel?  I don’t know.  I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.  Because if she doesn’t feel the same way....  Maybe I’ll just play it by ear.

    Be still my beating heart!!  She sang...  she sang for me last night!  The urge to just... I wanted to kiss her, so badly.  But....  The party was so much fun, and I’m exhausted.  We’re going to an awards ceremony tonight, and she’s promised to dance with me.  I am so excited.  I’m going to run with this feeling.  I can’t stand not to any more.

Gwen sat stunned looking at the screen for a long time.  She couldn’t fathom why she had sent these snippets of her diary to her mother.  She certainly didn’t remember having written with this particular slant.  She rubbed at her suddenly aching head.  She would have to go back into her diaries and investigate this further.  For now though, she had things to do for her mother so she got up and went upstairs.  It didn’t take long really, though it was good dark before she finished.  Her mother had been quite thorough and accurate in her lists, and Gwen breathed a sigh of relief when she got done.  Who knew two people needed so much stuff to live?  Then her thoughts turned briefly to the massive amount of stuff she and Randi had moved from the penthouse apartment to the beach house.  On the other hand....  She smiled as she went down to the kitchen.

She scowled at her first sip of coffee.  Having sat for most of the afternoon, it was now strong enough to make her hair curl.  “Ugh,” she groaned, pouring it out and looking in the fridge for some water.  She fixed herself a bite of supper, cleaning up after herself neatly.  Then she made a sweep of the entire house, making sure it was set to be closed for a while.  Satisfied she turned off the lights and headed upstairs to her own room.

Gwen paused at the threshold, sensing something unfamiliar in well-known room.  It was a scent, a presence that hadn’t been there before.  Her mind tried to place it and failed, but she found it comforting.  With a shrug she changed for bed and crawled beneath the sheets.  As she dozed off her body gave way to her heart’s desire, and she traced a familiar pattern on the pillow she cradled.

She slept past dawn, her dreams making her smile.   When the green eyes finally opened, the dreams faded, but the feeling of contentment they gave her remained.  She stretched and crawled from the bed, heading for the shower.  She was anxious to get back and see how her folks were faring.

Midday found her back at the hotel she and her mother had been staying at.  Jill was nowhere to be found so Gwen left the things she had brought with her and made her way over to the small medifac where her father was.  Geoff was in the small exercise room, working his upper body under the watchful eye of his therapist.  He smiled when Gwen walked through the door.  “Hi, Little Girl.”

“Hey, Daddy.  How you doing?”

“Better, I think.  I’m glad to be out of the chamber for a while though this is not the first way I would have chosen to spend my time.”  He glared at the therapist who merely shrugged and smiled.  “On the other hand, I’m gonna have to work to walk again, so....”

“Do you regret having gone... having done this?”

Gray eyes met and held earnest green ones.  “Gwen, if you never believe anything else believe this.  I would do it again in a heartbeat even knowing what the outcome was going to be.  There are some things in this world that are always worth the price even when the price is high.”  He paused.  “So don’t let it concern you any more, Little Girl.  No one on this team would have stayed behind even knowing how it would end.”

Gwen thought on that for a moment, then looked her father in the eye.  “Sabres are a breed apart, aren’t they?”

Geoff chuckled.  “Pretty much, Little Girl.  Pretty much.  Now,” looking to the patiently waiting therapist, ”let me get back to work.  I’d like to be able to leave here nights and stay with your mother again as soon as possible.”

Gwen gave her father a hug and walked out of the room.  She went back to the hotel at something of a loss.  She didn’t quite know what to do with herself.  She didn’t want to sightsee alone, and she had nothing else to do here.  She felt as though she were marking time, in limbo, waiting for something momentous to happen.  Finally she took herself out to the pool area.  She thought about writing, but couldn’t seem to get motivated.  She fell asleep.  Jill returned, a fond smile lighting her face at the innocent expression on her daughter’s face. She sent up a brief prayer to Artemis to help Gwen remember.

“Hey,” lightly shaking the pink shoulder.  “You’re getting quite a bit of color out here.”

Green eyes opened, surprised at how far the sun had dropped.  “Um, oh.  I didn’t mean to fall asleep.  Must have been the heat.  Hi, Mama.”  Gwen sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Hello, Daughter.  I think we better get you in out of the sun.”  Jill smiled indulgently.  “I know you and Randi stay out in the sun a lot, but you’ve still got quite a bit of pink going on here.”

“Hmm, yeah.  Besides,” her stomach rumbling loudly, “I’m hungry.”

Jill chuckled.  “Nice to see some things never change.  C’mon.”

They were sitting at an early dinner, Gwen digging in happily to her pre-dinner salad.  If it hadn’t been considered bad manners, Jill felt fairly certain that she would be humming happily.  “How did your house hunting go?” Gwen asked as she took a sip of water.

“Quite well, I think actually.  I’ve found three that have possibilities.  I’d like you to come out with me tomorrow and give me your opinions on them.”  Gwen nodded her agreement.  “How’d the packing go?  Did you have any problems?”

“No.  Everything was just where you said it would be.”  Her eyes took on a far off look, and she grew quiet.  Jill let it continue until she realized her daughter was in another world completely.

“Gwen?  You okay?”

“Hmm?  Oh yeah.  Sorry.  Just thinking.”

“About?”

Gwen dropped her head, studying the plate of food that had just been placed in front of her.  “Mama, when I downloaded your mail, I found a file with my name on it.”  She took a deep breath.  “I read it.”  Now she looked up and found her mother’s eyes trained on her.  Jill waited patiently, knowing there was more.  It didn’t take long for that patience to be rewarded.  “I’m not sure I understand it.  I don’t know why I’d send things so private to you, and I....” She trailed off.  “Some of the things I wrote just don’t make sense to me.”

Jill took a deep breath.  Here then was her first chance to help her daughter remember.  She whispered a prayer for wisdom and spoke.  “Gwen, first... if it makes you feel any better, the things in that file are things you put there.  Your father and I have never read them.”  Gwen gave a silent sigh of relief, and Jill had to smile slightly to herself.  “As for what you wrote, I know you started keeping an actual written diary after Randi taught you how to write.  Perhaps the answers to your questions are in that part of your journal.  It might be a good idea to go back and read them in their entirety.”  A beat.  “It might help you understand.”

Gwen nodded her head slowly.  “It probably would.  I guess I’ll have some reading to do when I get home.”

Jill smiled.  It was only a tiny first step, but it was a step in the right direction.

The following day was spent going from house to house looking, studying and discussing possibilities.  As it happened, they didn’t choose one of the three Jill had mentioned.  The house they settled on they found quite by accident.  It was a small cottage set on a bit of land in a quiet neighborhood only a couple miles from the medical facility where Geoff would be continuing his therapy.  It was small enough to make it easy to take care of, but large enough for them to be comfortable.  Jill was very pleased by the find, and her enthusiasm carried over into her visit with her husband that evening.  “We’ll be comfortable there, Geoff, until you can walk again and we can go home.”

He squeezed her tight in his arms, smiling at her optimism.  “That may not happen you know, Sweetheart.”

“Geoff, you are going to walk your daughter down the aisle and give her away to the woman she loves.  I know that in my heart of hearts.”

“You have that much faith then?  In them and in me?”

“No doubts, Love.  This will happen.”  She turned to face him and kissed him passionately.  “Now you concentrate on getting well.  I’m going to have Gwen help me get the house set up tomorrow and then I’m sending her home.  She has some discoveries of her own to make.”

Geoff’s eyebrow rose.  “You know something.”  A statement of fact.

“I know something.”  She grinned at him impishly.

“Would you like to share?” he drawled.

“Gwen found the folder she sent us.  Apparently it had some pretty thought provoking items in it.  So I want to get her home so she can do some more reading.”  He continued to look at her.  “I know it’s not much but it’s a start, and I have faith.  They are meant to be together.  Gwen will see that again.”

He kissed her again.  “I love you, Jill.”

She smiled.  “I love you, too.”

The morning found the two women moving the boxes Gwen had brought back with her into the cottage.  “This is going to be nice, Mother.”

“Yeah, I think it is.  Even given the circumstances I think your daddy and I will be happy here.  Thank you for your help, Dear.  I don’t think I could have managed without you.”

“I was glad to help, Mama.  After all, you wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.”

“You know, I don’t think that’s true.  Your father has been headed for a decline for a long time.  There have been some mornings... well, I think, in a perverse way, he’s glad it happened the way it did.”

Gwen looked at her mother askance.  “There is a mentality here I am missing completely.”

“Hmm, well, I’ll admit I don’t understand it either, but there you have it.  Now let’s go get your father so you can go home.”

It was quiet when they entered the medifac.  Geoff was still in the regen chamber, and Jill excused herself to speak to the therapist.  Gwen headed out through the small garden to the tiny stream.  She found peace here and sat soaking it in.  She heard the gate click shut and sighed.  So much for peace and quiet.  She started to get up.

“You don’t need to leave, Gwen.  I heard you were going home shortly and thought we could finish our talk before you left if you’d like.”  Dr. Litzer stood casually by the gate, hands in his pockets waiting for her to grant him permission to approach.  She found she appreciated that - the fact that he didn’t just force his presence into her solitude.  Besides, there was a part of her that wanted to finish their conversation so she nodded for him to join her.  They sat quietly together for a while, simply listening to the melody of the rippling water.  H e finally glanced at her before looking out at the vista again. “Did you think about what I asked you?”

Her brows knit together in a thoughtful frown.  “Yes, I did.”  She paused.  “I spent a good deal of time thinking about it actually.”

He nodded, understanding both the spoken and unspoken words.  “Did you come to any conclusions?”  He didn’t ask until it became clear Gwen wasn’t going to continue.  He turned to her again, this time keeping his eyes focused on her expression.  He watched, fascinated, as a myriad of expressions crossed her face.  It took another little while before she returned his gaze unflinchingly.

“Anything.  I would endure anything.”

“Then remember this.  A Sabre has taken a vow to endure anything, both to protect the ones they love and those who cannot protect themselves.  It is a heavy burden to bear, but one we shoulder gladly to keep the peace safe from those who would destroy it.  Think about it when you think of the killing.  It’s not nice, but it is necessary.”

He left her then, and she sat a while longer thinking on his words.  Her mind pictured Ben dying again, only this time, she stood in Randi’s place.  And she realized with a sudden intake of breath that she could very easily have killed him if their situations had been reversed.  It wasn’t a pleasant discovery of self, she noted, but one of truth nonetheless.  Gwen swallowed hard and got up.  She had some business to take care of, then it was time to go home.


Chapter IX

“Randi?  Randi, I’m home.”  Gwen was calling out before the door was completely open.  She was surprised when only silence met her.  She looked carefully around the beach house.  Everything was tidy and in its place.  There was no sign of occupation at all.  “Randi?” knowing it was a futile gesture.

She sat down on the sofa, facing the portrait of the two of them that Sal had taken years prior.  There was something between them... she could almost see it.  Her mind struggled to put a name to it and failed.  Sighing, she got up, stepping out the French doors and heading to the boathouse.  The utter stillness, the silence was oppressive.  She paced to the end of the dock, noticing that even Pilot and Peanut seemed to have abandoned her. 

“WEN!”

She smiled when the childish voice reached her ears, and she walked back up the dock to meet the approaching pair.  Ella held Randall in her arms, and he leaped for Gwen when they got close.  It was only Gwen’s fast reflexes that kept the boy from taking a header into the water.

“This child is gonna be the death of me,” Ella half-joked. Her pale face belied the teasing of her words.

“Wen!  Wuv miss Wen.  Miss Wuv.”  She kissed the boy’s smooth cheek, accepting his rather sloppy affection before she turned to look at his mother.

“Where is Wuv?” smiling at her own use of Randi’s nickname.

Ella looked at her in puzzlement.  “Don’t you know?  She’s gone to Reed’s place.  Ditto is due to have those puppies this weekend.  I figured you’d be there as a matter of fact.”

“Damn! I keep forgetting about that, but... that’s still a couple days away.  Why isn’t she here now?  It’s not but an hour trip by shuttle.”

“She took the bike.  I guess she felt the need for some space.”  Ella didn’t mention the restless energy that seemed to pulse through the woman when she’d stopped by the day before to say goodbye.  “How’s your dad, by the way?”

They walked back up to the house with Randall humming contentedly in her arms.  Before she could answer Ella’s question, Randall demanded her attention.  “Wen!  Tory, pwease?”

Gwen thought for a moment before looking him in the eyes.  “This is the story of a brave knight who risked everything she had for love.”

Ella’s eyes grew big as she listened to Gwen spin her first tale since Randi’s disappearance more than fifteen months ago.  It was a simple tale and nothing like her normal storytelling, but it was a first step.  Ella wondered what had happened that brought her muse back to Gwen.  As she listened further, she realized Gwen was telling a story of Randi’s heroism.  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what had happened, but she checked herself.  The first rule she had learned about the Artist’s Guild was to never interrupt the creative process.  Upon further study, she figured out Gwen was not even aware of the transition.  So she sat quietly until the tale was finished.  “Lovely story, Gwen.  Is it new?”

“Um, yeah,” Gwen rubbed her forehead.  “I’m not sure... hmm.  I....”  The soft voice trailed off in confusion.

“So you were gonna tell me about your dad,” Ella reminded her kindly.  Gwen smiled, grateful for the diversion.

“He’s doing better than they expected him to at this point actually.  Mother says his motivation is strong enough to make it possible for him to beat the odds, but she won’t tell me what his motivation is.”  She looked at Ella.  “Do you ever feel like you’re the only one missing out on the joke that everybody else is getting?”  The curly head nodded solemnly though there was a distinct twinkle in her eye.  “That’s the way I feel, but I’m not pushing the issue.  As long as he gets better, I don’t need to know.”

“What are their immediate plans?”

“Well, Mother found them a house.  They’ll be staying in the capital city for a while to try a new recovery treatment therapy.  As I said, things look very promising for him right now.  It’s just going to take a lot of time and effort on his part.”

Ella patted Gwen’s knee and reached for her sleeping offspring.  “I’m glad things look so good for him.  I like your folks.  They’re real people.”  She grunted a little as she hefted her son up.  “You gonna head out to the ranch?”

Gwen thought, then nodded.  “Yeah.  In the morning.  Ditto would never forgive me if I missed this.”

“True.  I gotta admit... Randall and I have missed having her around the past couple weeks.”  She sighed.  “I’d better get home.  I have a ton of stuff still to do today.  Lemme know how things go with the puppies, all right?

And ya’ll let us know when you get back.  You have no idea how we worry.”

“That’s sweet, Ella.  I’ll make sure to keep you posted... about both.”  She looked at the still sleeping boy.  “You want me to give you a ride home?”

“Would you mind?  He’s getting so big.  It won’t be long before I can’t carry him at all.”  She smiled sadly.

“Let me get the transport.”

************

Gwen had conveniently forgotten how quiet the beach house was without Randi’s presence.  She couldn’t figure it out really.  It wasn’t like Randi was a loud individual, nor was she particularly messy.  In fact, Gwen grinned to herself, they had had a discussion once about Randi’s meticulous neatness.  So it bothered her when she returned from having dropped off Ella and Randall to the sterile quiet of an empty house.  She moped around for a few minutes, not really sure what to do with herself.  What is up with you today, Gwen Goldman?  What has put you so out of sorts?  Finally she went up to her room, rooting around in her closet until she came up with a good-sized polymer box.  She sat on the edge of the bed, fingering the cover for some length of time.  She remembered the day she’d asked Tony to craft this for her, wanting a special place to store her journals.  She’d never realized how much more personal her thoughts became by actually writing them down, but she was so thankful Randi had taken the time to teach her the almost forgotten art of handwriting.

With a sigh and not a little trepidation, she lifted the cover and took in the scent of ink and paper.  She smiled now and lifted out the first book.  Gwen frowned after a moment’s reading, realizing that she had not started writing on paper until after she and Randi had known each other for just over two years.  Disgusted with herself and her faulty, selective memory, she set the box to one side of the bed and trudged downstairs to the large computer system.

Hours later, she was rubbing her eyes.  The holo program had been reading entry after entry, and she was only just a few months into their friendship.  The temptation to skip this was almost overwhelming, but something held her back.  It was a fascinating to watch the ever–so-slowly changing dynamic of their relationship.  Already she had heard them go from being mere strangers to very good friends.  She had smiled a lot; even laughed a couple times.  But the most startling difference was the way she was able to view the separations the Sabres had forced upon them time and again.

It broke her heart to realize that every time the warrior had left her it was to kill... to keep her and the rest of the world safe for another day.  The hurt was compounded by the knowledge that Randi shut out everyone when she returned, bearing a burden no one should ever have had to bear.  She wondered what other secrets her own words would reveal to her, but her eyes were heavy and she yawned.

She would continue her research when they got back from the breeding ranch, but for now....  She turned off the holo emitters and set up the security system.  Then she trudged upstairs and fell asleep still fully clothed.  Her dreams were a mishmash of confusing images, and she frowned before she slipped into a deeper, dreamless state.

************

“What happened, Morph?”  Aphrodite tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she stood in Morpheus’ realm observing the bard’s sleep.

“I’m not sure, Cuz.  I think it may just be a sensory overload on her part.  I’ll keep an eye on her though.”

“I know you will, and I totally appreciate it.  I swear, these two are enough to make a goddess pull her hair out sometimes, ya know?” crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.  He just chuckled at her expression.

************

Gwen slept much longer then she intended to the next morning.  She got up and immediately put in a vid call to Reed.  She was surprised when the breeder chuckled at her in greeting.

“Just got up, huh, and haven’t looked in the mirror?”  Reed chuckled when Gwen frowned grumpily at her words.  “I’m sorry, Gwen, I shouldn’t laugh.  But you look so cute, and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see that.”  She went on without giving the blonde a chance to answer.  “What can I do for ya?”

“Well, I was wondering if Randi was there yet?”

“No, not yet, but I wasn’t expecting ya’ll til tomorrow.  Looks like the puppies will be right on time.”

“Um, okay.  I’ll probably come in sometime tomorrow morning.  She’s riding the bike over.”  She said this with studied casualness.

Reed’s eyes nearly popped from her head at this pronouncement.  It was quite a long trip to be making on the bike.  Randi must have had some issues to work out, and not knowing if or when Gwen would be able to make it out....  She tucked the thought away for further study.  “That’s fine, Gwen.  You’re welcome whenever you want to come over.”

“Thanks, Reed.  I’ll see you in the morning then.”  The Sabre pilot just chuckled again and waved goodbye.  Gwen cut the connection and wandered over to the mirror, stopping in horror as she stared at the reflection of herself.  Then she burst out laughing.  “Reed, you are a woman of amazing self-control.”  With another wry chuckle, she went in to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

“Well, since I’m not going until tomorrow, let’s see where I left off.”  She had gotten comfortable after her shower, and was happily ensconced in a pair of running shorts and a sports bra.  She found her place in her holo-diary easily and let it run while she went to fix herself something to eat.

************

Randi had left for the ranch at daybreak.  She craved the peace and solitude traveling on the bike gave her.  She had several things she wanted to work through in her mind - among them what she would say to Gwen when they sat down to talk.  It would have helped, of course, if she knew what the bard was going to say to her first. But she didn’t so she spent most of the first day’s travel running through different scenarios, trying to imagine all the possibilities.  A couple of times, she’d actually had to stop the bike.  Some of the things she envisioned literally hurt her very soul, and she was forced to stop and simply breathe until the pain passed.  When night came, exhaustion forced her to stop and seek shelter.  She grimaced wryly to herself.  Never had a Sabre mission been as wearisome as dealing with all this emotionalism was. 

The inn she stopped at was quiet and quaint, and she was glad of the chance to rest.  She stripped down to her underwear and crawled into bed, too tired to eat and sound asleep before her head hit the pillow.  Morpheus took pity on her and sent her immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The following morning, fueled by a good, hearty breakfast, she mounted the bike and headed out again.  And when Gwen arrived home, she was almost halfway to her destination.  Her thoughts on this day were much more pleasant. She passed the hours thinking of different things she could do to court Gwen properly.  Her mind reviewed many of the things they had done together when they were still just friends... long before they realized and admitted their love for one another.  Aphrodite had accused her of unconsciously courting Gwen then.  She could use some of those ideas and make a conscious effort to woo her girl.

She was smiling when she stopped for the evening.  There were a lot of things she could do to show Gwen her true feelings without being overbearing or invasive.  The only thing gnawing at her in the back of her mind was that little talk they still needed to have.  Randi consciously put it aside, knowing she could do nothing until she and Gwen had the privacy to talk.  It occurred to her when she sat down to eat that she didn’t know if Gwen was going to be at Reed’s for the birth or not.  This wasn’t something she wanted to do in their home or with an audience.  Randi shook her head.  She’d cross that bridge when she came to it.  Worrying in advance was going to get her nothing but an ulcer if she wasn’t careful.

Her last day on the road was one spent in thoughtful meditation.  She was deeply attuned to everything going on around her, but her mind was on another plane of awareness.  And just about dusk, she pulled into the long driveway that led to Tiny and Reed’s home.

Tiny was almost ready to put supper on the table, and Reed was setting their places. The odd disturbance of air outside drew both their attentions, and together they stepped out onto the front porch.  Tiny’s face broke into a delighted grin.  “Guess Gwen was right,” and headed down the steps to meet his friend.  The seer hung back a moment longer, scanning Randi’s aura before approaching her.  Satisfied with what she found, she joined the duo and welcomed Randi into their home.

Reed took Randi up to her room, so Tiny could finish up in the kitchen.  “You look better, my friend.  How are you doing?”  Randi looked at Reed, puzzled.  Reed had been unconscious or in regen for most of the time they had been together during the last week.  How could she know?  Reed smiled.  “You remember we talked about your aura?”  Randi nodded.  “Even unconscious, I could see it, feel it.  For a while there, I was afraid.”  She reached a hand toward Randi’s face who drew back reflexively from the pain she knew a touch would cause.  Reed stopped.  “It’s still not right but it is better.  You’ve found a focus, a center, yes?”

“Yes,” smiling and looking away bashfully.  “This time, she’s gonna get the treatment she deserves.”

“Then I wish you much happiness and joy, Randi.  You are sure to win her heart.”

Earnest blue eyes met the seer’s fathomless ones.  “Do you really think so?”

“My friend, I know it in my heart.  You won her last time unknowingly, didn’t you?  How will she be able to resist a deliberate attempt to win her love?”  Randi set her small bag down and crossed to the bathroom to wash her hands. “Have faith, Randi,” Reed continued when Randi stepped out of the enclosure.  “This time I think you may have help.

Ditto howled in delight when Randi stepped into the kennel after supper.  Randi instantly went to her knees, allowing the shepherd to give her a good face wash.  She returned the attention by scratching the dog behind the ears for long minutes.  Ditto fairly purred in delight and rubbed up against her like a cat.

“How’s she doing, Reed?”

“Very well.  Everything is on schedule, and Phil has been strutting around here like he was king of the mountain for the past two days.  I’m thinking these pups should arrive right on time.”

“Good.  These guys already have places to go.”

“Yep, I have your list right here,” waiting for Tiny to hand her the vid chip she needed.  She slipped it into her comm link and watched the list come up.  “Hmm, one for the sound technician, Liz.”  Randi nodded. 

“She’s always taken care of my girl well and when her dog passed away recently, it seemed like the right thing to do.”  

“Okay.  Then I have one for Lacey, one for Scott and Tory and one for Tommy.  That covers all the puppies I’ve counted in my examinations.  I think they are gonna be big pups though; they are sure taking up the room.”

Randi looked down at Ditto and had to agree.  She gave the dog a good last scratch, then stood up and stretched.  “I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m beat.  Would you consider me rude if I excused myself and went on up to bed?”

“Not at all,” Tiny instantly responded.  “Truth is we’re still turning in early ourselves.  Reed’s eyes are still recovering and rest is the best thing for them at this point.”

Randi took Reed’s hands in her own and looked deep into her eyes again, knowing how close the other woman had come to losing them.  “Are you sure you’re all right?  I know how....”  She paused when Reed squeezed her hands hard.

“We’ve already discussed this, Randi.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  Even if I lose my physical sight, that doesn’t affect my gift.  I’m fine.  I’ll be even better soon.  So please let the guilt go and move on.  We have more important things to focus on.”

Randi looked into Reed’s newly healed eyes for a long moment, assuring herself of the truth and rightness of the words.  Then with a nod of acceptance and a return squeeze to Reed’s hands, Randi slipped out of the kennel and into the house.  She was asleep so quickly she didn’t hear the couple come upstairs a short while later.

At breakfast the following morning, Randi was pouring the waffles while Reed fried up the bacon.  “Why is it,” Randi mused aloud, “that in this day and age of technology, we get such simple pleasure from something like cooking?” 

Tiny looked up from where he was grinding the coffee.  “I think it has something to do with the satisfaction we feel providing for ourselves.  I know the food we prepare is always much better than anything we get at those instant places.  In fact,” putting the pot on to boil, “when we go out, either they cook or we don’t go there.”

“I think that is probably one of the reasons Ella’s place is so popular.”  They sat down to a hot meal.  “Her stuff is prepared right there fresh.  And it’s set up that you can actually watch Ricky and the chefs cook.”

“Sounds like a fascinating experience.  We’ll have to come down and try it.”  The conversation drifted to other places of similar quality they had each had the opportunity to experience.  Reed never mentioned to Randi that Gwen was expected to arrive that morning.  It completely slipped her mind.

Mid-morning found Randi in the kennel, stroking Ditto’s soft head.  Things were right on schedule, and the pups were due to arrive very shortly.  She looked up when the door opened, then looked back down again when a familiar blonde head poked in and green eyes caught hers.  She had been so caught up in the excitement that had started before breakfast was over that she’d temporarily forgotten that Gwen would probably be showing up today.  Time to bite the bullet, Valiant.  “Hi, Gwen,” she murmured, keeping her focus on the dog beneath her hands.

Gwen didn’t utter a sound as she crossed from the door to Randi’s side.  Neither she nor Randi noticed Ditto’s lack of reaction to Gwen save an anxious whine.  She placed two fingers under Randi’s chin and urged her face upwards til their eyes met and she smiled.  “Hello, Randi.  We have a lot to talk about... later.”  Randi focused on what she could see in the soul held in those eyes and felt some of the burden slip away.  Gwen was here and ready to give her a second opportunity to talk and for now, that promise was enough.  She nodded her agreement and looked back down at Ditto.  “How’s she doing?” 

“She’s doing very well,” Reed commented from the doorway.  She and Tiny had been hidden in the shadows of the building, watching the reunion with interest.  Reed winced at the raw energy and the off kilter factor it contained.  This was almost worse than the strength of their bond. 

“She’s right on schedule,” Tiny said. 

“Is it normal for the stud to be present?”  Gwen pointed to the corner where Phil stood soundlessly, watching the proceedings with interest.  He didn’t interfere or get in the way of things, but his silent presence was strongly felt in the room.

“For him, yes.  He takes quite the proprietary interest in each batch of puppies he fathers.  He has stood sentinel at each birth.”

“I think that’s adorable,” Gwen whispered in Randi’s direction.  Quite without her knowledge, her small hand grasped Randi’s larger one as one by one they watched the puppies enter the world.  Randi smiled to herself in quiet satisfaction.

“Two boys and two girls,” Reed said sometime later.  “Whatcha gonna call them?”

Blue eyes went big and round.  “Isn’t naming them, um, your job?”

“Nope, not this time.”

“I don’t suppose Dog One, Two, Three, and Four would be acceptable,” Randi muttered.  The three adult humans around her burst into laughter.

“Randi!” Gwen admonished.  “I know.  How about Mim and Rox for the females and Carbon and Copy for the males?” 

Reed chuckled, and her eyes lit up in delighted laughter.  “Oh that is priceless,” understanding the hidden joke.  “Absolutely perfect.  This little guy,” holding up the solid black runt, “will naturally be Carbon.”

“Naturally,” Randi replied drolly.

The remainder of the day was spent with Ditto and her babies.  Phil remained in the room, circling occasionally, making sure everything was fine.  It was a peaceful day right up until it was time to go to bed.  When it came time for bed though, things got a little awkward.

“Um, Reed, which room should I take?”  They had been too busy to worry about room arrangements before and now Gwen wasn’t sure where she was supposed to be.

“Randi’s right here,” Reed answered without thinking.

“Um, yeah, but where do you want me to sleep?” Gwen was a little confused over Reed’s answer but figured the stress of the day had made her misunderstand the question.

“Oh!”  Damn, Reed!  Pay attention here please!  “Sorry.  You can take the adjoining room.”

“Thanks.”  Gwen reached around and gave her friend a hug.  “Thanks for letting us come and witness a miracle.”  She opened the door.  “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Gwen.”  Reed waited until the door was closed before she muttered.  “If we’re very lucky, we will see another miracle again very soon.”

************

“You sure you have to go home so soon?” Tiny asked his Sabre comrade early the next day.  “Seems like a hell of a long way to come to stay over for just two nights.”

“Yeah, but I will have been gone for the better part of a month all told by the time I get home again.  I’ve got work I need to do.  Next time I won’t bring the bike.  Or better yet... next time, you come see me.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.  Besides, we have a date to come out that way already, remember?”

“I remember.  And no one is looking forward to it more than I am.”

“I hear you, my friend.  Safe journey.”

“Thanks, Tiny.”  She turned to Gwen who had just stepped off the front porch.  “You sure you wanna go home this way?  Shuttle would be faster and more comfortable.”  She really wanted Gwen with her but was trying to take the best care of her that she could.  Gwen read the longing in her eyes though, very easily.

“Would you rather I go that way?”

“No, not at all,” hastening to reassure her.  “I was merely thinking of your comfort.”

“I have always been most comfortable wherever you are so if you don’t mind, I would like to go home with you.”

“I would like that best too,” said shyly.

“Well then,” taking up her helmet and dropping in her bag.  “What are we waiting for?  The road awaits.”  And with a final round of hugs and a wave they were off.

The day was beautiful, and Randi sighed in contentment as they eased down the road.  In all honesty, they were taking it a little slower than she had coming out.  It felt so wonderful to have Gwen’s arms wrapped around her even loosely, and she had a good feeling about their coming talk.  So they moseyed through the countryside, enjoying the breeze that their riding stirred.

Lunch was a brief stop under some shade trees sharing the food Reed had so thoughtfully provided them with before they’d left.  They didn’t talk much, simply enjoying the peace of the day and the happiness of being together again.  Gwen found it odd how much contentment she felt just being with Randi despite everything.  There was a place in her that felt complete.  Part of her wanted to have their talk now, for better or worse.  Another part of her needed to get back to her diaries to do some more reading.  Still a third part wanted to curl up in Randi’s arms and just be.  It was this part that was causing her so much confusion.  So lunch passed quietly with each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Dusk found them pulling into a little town that seemed unusually busy for its size.  And when they went looking for a place to sleep, they began to see the problem.  Randi shook her head grimly as she came out of the town’s second and only other hotel establishment. 

“No luck?” Gwen questioned sympathetically.  The first place they’d stopped had been full up.  There was some sort of reunion going on, and the proprietress wasn’t too hopeful about them finding anything.  But she gamely gave them directions and wished them good fortune.

“Well, sorta.”  Randi was kicking herself for stopping here, but it hadn’t been a problem three days ago.  The tiny town had been almost deserted it had been so quiet.  Now however....  “We have a room, but....”  She scratched the back of her neck.  “We only have a room.  There was only one room left.”  She breathed.  “I’m sorry, Gwen.  The town wasn’t like this three days ago, honest.  I didn’t realized there was gonna be an Amazon family reunion here.”

Gwen stepped off the bike and lifted up her small duffle.  “Randi, it’s okay.  We share living space at home.”  She paused in though a moment.  “I was a little surprised at Reed last night, but maybe it was a natural assumption.  I mean no one knows we have separate beds in separate rooms, I guess huh?  It’s not like it’s anyone’s business.”  Randi couldn’t find a comment to make right then to save her life so she simply grabbed her bag and headed for the lift.  The room was nice enough though one look made Randi put her head in her hands and close her eyes.  She had to wonder if the gods were conspiring for her or against her.  Gwen eased by her, stepping into the room and looking around with approval.  “This is nice,” she nodded.  “Not bad.”  She set her stuff down on the small table and turned to face Randi.  “Shall we go get something to eat?”

Randi entered the room and shut the door behind her.  “Do you trust me?”

“Huh?”  Gwen wondered what that had to do with getting dinner.

“Do you trust me?”

Green eyes gazed into startlingly blue.   “I always have.”

“Then we can go get dinner.  Just stay with me, please and go along with what I say?”

“All right.”

It only took them a few minutes to clean up, and they stepped back out into the melee.  It didn’t take long for them to find a place to sit and order some food, and they sat back to people watch.  What Randi had said earlier finally sunk into Gwen’s brain.  “Amazon family reunion?”

“Yep. They get different parts of the nation together during the course of the year.  I think their big reunion is in the fall...  a couple months from now.”

Their food arrived and the next few minutes were filled with silence as they each concentrated on the fare in front of them.  As they began to fill up, they noticed more and more women coming out and headed toward a big bonfire area to their left.  Gwen watched intrigued as several musicians took their places and began warming up.  Another group of what looked to be dancers was off apart from the crowd, doing some stretching exercises.  She watched the activity quietly, then looked to her companion.  “Would you mind... can we go watch for a little while?”

Randi sighed inwardly.  She had been afraid of this, but it was what Gwen wanted so....  “Okay, just follow my lead and you’ll be fine.”  She took Gwen’s hand, pleased when hers was grasped firmly in return.  They found a place to one side beneath a tree that offered them a decent view of all the activities, yet kept them far enough away so that they could speak without yelling.  Rand sat, stopping the bard when Gwen made a move to sit beside her.  “Sit here,” patting the ground between her legs.

Gwen looked at her dubiously, but complied, knowing there was a legitimate reason.  The tingles that traveled up and down her spine caused by the strong arms now wrapped around her middle made her look back at Randi with a question in her eyes.  It wasn’t that she minded; on the contrary, it was quite the pleasant sensation.  But there were still so many holes; things she didn’t remember.  And there was still the issue of Ben’s execution between them yet.

“I’m sorry, Gwen.  I don’t mean to take liberties, but look around.”  Green eyes traveled the area and noticed a pattern.  She met the patiently waiting blue eyes.  “Couples sit this way.  It’s so the other women know to leave each partner of the pair alone.  Only the single women sit side by side.  It is their way of stating their availability.  Unless you’d rather be single.”  Long arms pulled back from the slim waist.  Gwen merely reached back and pulled the hands to her front again, leaning back slightly into the body behind her.  Randi sighed in relief.  The first hurdle had been crossed.

The rhythm of the music was sensual, hypnotic.  They watched the dancers in contented silence for a while before Gwen decided to open up the conversation.  “Randi, how do you feel about killing?”

The Sabre sucked in a breath.  Well, nothing like getting right to the heart of the matter.  “Can we walk?  I’d like to go somewhere with a little more privacy.”

Gwen looked around, noticing more and more women were getting up to join the dancers.  She felt a fleeting wish pass through her and then stood, dusting off her pants.  She smiled and reached a hand down to her companion.  Randi reached up hesitantly and took it, laughing a little when Gwen neatly pulled her to her feet.

“Been working out some there, hmm?”

Gwen blushed.  “Guess those staff workouts have helped more then I realized.”

Randi smiled gently.  “Guess so.  C’mon,” holding out her hand.  “Let’s get out of here.”

They hadn’t moved more than two steps when they were stopped by a huge hulk of a woman.  “No one leaves without dancing first.”

“Excuse me?”

The big woman looked at her patiently.  “You are a card carrying Amazon, right?”  She waited for Randi’s nod.  “Then you know that everyone is committed to at least one dance to give thanks to Artemis for her protection of our Nation.”  Randi’s head dropped.  She didn’t need this right now; they didn’t need it.  She looked up when the small hand still clasped in hers squeezed gently.

“C’mon, Randi.   We can do this and then we’ll go talk.  We don’t want to offend Artemis now, do we?”  Green eyes twinkled and Randi had to smile. 

“You sure you don’t mind?”

“No.”  A pause.  “Honestly I wanted to try it, but I thought we should talk first.”

“See, you’ve got a good woman here.  Now go give thanks and enjoy.”  The large woman slipped back to her perimeter post before Randi could make a reply.  Not that she had a clue of what kind of response she could make.  She felt a tugging on her hand.

“C’mon, Gunny.”  The dance was slow and sensual and the press of bodies kept them close together.  Gwen wrapped her arms around Randi’s waist, laying her ear over the strong heartbeat.  Randi closed her eyes in tortured enjoyment; praying for the moment to be over and hoping it would never end.  The music wound down, and she pulled back slightly, smiling when Gwen grinned up at her.  “That was nice.  Can we do it again?”

“Let’s talk.  We’ll see how you feel then.”  Randi reached her hand out, and Gwen took it without hesitation.  And they moved off into the cool darkness of the night.


Chapter X

There was a rise just outside the town proper, and Randi led them up onto it.  It gave a clear view of the activities without making one a part of them.  She seated Gwen on the smooth, conveniently placed rock before turning her back and looking down at the activity below.  Gwen sat silently, letting Randi choose her time and manner to speak.

“All my growing up years, I was just a normal kid and Tommy was my best friend.  I excelled in my studies, and I had quite a few outside interests.  When it was time to do my service, I chose the Corps.  I didn’t want to do the Navy thing.  The thought of all that time at sea....”  She shuddered.  “Anyway, I ended up being put into the Sabre program, and I was good at it.  Hell, I was better than good.  I was the best.  And for a while, it was enough.  The rightness of the cause; the justice in it.”  She sighed and her shoulders slumped.  “But it wore on me; it wears on me still.  The killing - it eats at your soul, sapping your humanity drop by precious drop.  But the alternative... to let the peace, our very way of life be ruined; to see those you love and care about be destroyed.  I couldn’t do that either.  So I accepted the responsibility Fate handed me.  So no Gwen, I don’t like the killing.  I don’t like the fact that I am exceptionally good at it either.  But it is very much a part of who I am.  I would not hesitate to kill to protect you.”

It was silent again for a very long time.  Randi kept her face turned away so Gwen could not gauge her feelings on anything except her words and the flatness of her tone of voice.  Gwen came to a decision finally and slid off the rock.  She circled around to stand in front of Randi, coming to rest between her and the view of the town below.  She waited until blue eyes met her own and drew in a quick breath at the pain and tears she found lingering there.  She reached down and grasped the clenched hands, drawing them to her and pulling gently forward, leading Randi to the rock.  She eased her down, then lifted a hand and softly wiped at the tear that had rolled down a chiseled cheek.  Gwen reached down for the hand she had dropped.   Now it was her turn to look down and examine the ground beneath her feet.  When she started to speak, Randi had to strain to hear the whispered voice.

“When you... killed... him... I felt so many things.  Fear, anger, confusion, disbelief... I was overwhelmed.  The stress was more than my mind could handle apparently because Mama said I went into shock.”  She looked up to catch the dark head nod even though Randi’s eyes appeared to be closed.  It was hard to tell with the face turned away from her.  “Mama and I had an interesting talk when I woke up, and she asked me something that got me to thinking... something that made me start asking questions of my own.”

The silence dragged on for what seemed like ever before Randi cleared her throat and asked, “What did she say to you?”

Gwen smiled slightly.  “She asked me why in the state of shock that I was in caused by my reaction to what had happened... what you had done... why you were the only person I would let near me.  I told her it was a matter of trust.  She reminded me then that trust was unconditional and if I trusted you, I needed to have faith; not to judge but to talk it out with you.”  She paused and swallowed, composing her thoughts.  “While you were sleeping, I went and talked to Daddy, and he made me think a little more and realize that there was a lot I didn’t understand.  And when you left, I decided to see if I could understand a little bit more.  So I talked to Tiny and Daddy and Dr. Litzer.  And they all made the same point you did - about it not being something they would have chosen, but a duty they were honored to perform.”  She sighed and looked at Randi, reaching a hand up and turning the warrior’s face toward her.  “Dr. Litzer, though... he brought things home to me in a very real, very honest way.  He put me in your place and asked me what I would have done.”  Blue eyes dropped.  Gwen knelt until she was looking up at Randi who closed her eyes at the unexpected scrutiny.

“Randi, look at me.”  Fingers touched Randi’s chin softly, careful to stay away from the cut.  “Randi, please.”  Sorrowful blue met vibrant green.  “I learned something about myself, Randi.  Put in your place, I would most certainly have done what you did.  I would kill to protect you as well.”  Tears welled in two sets of eyes.  “Not something I ever expected to learn about myself, but it is the truth nonetheless.”  A pause.  “Does it change the way I view myself, you, Daddy and Tiny and Reed?  Yes, it can’t help but.  Does it change the way I feel?  Only in that I have grown to respect you, your inner strength so much more.  I don’t know how you have managed to live with this weight for as long as you have.  You are still my best friend, and I still love and trust you.  I still have some problems with it.  I probably will for a while.  It has changed the way I look at a lot of things. However, I want you to know I would like to share the burden if you’ll let me.  We can get through this together.”

For a very long moment, the stillness was palpable.  Then without a word, Randi reached down and pulled Gwen into her arms, hanging on for dear life.  The bard returned the embrace, glad she’d made the right choice for both of them.  They stayed wrapped up together like this for a while until finally Gwen pulled slightly away.  She tipped her head back to look Randi in the eye.  “C’mon, Gunny.  I’m exhausted, and I hear a nice, big, comfortable bed calling my name.”  Without a word Randi held out her hand and Gwen grasped it, leading the way back down the slope and into town.

The Sabre instinctively took the lead as they approached the hotel.  She keyed in the code and opened the door, keeping Gwen shielded as a matter of course.  Gwen smiled in reaction.  She always does that... always looks out for me.  It only took a moment for these thoughts to pass through her mind, and by that time they were in the room with the door closed.  Randi looked around, embarrassed.  Though they had worked out a major problem, she didn’t want to assume anything.  Gwen still regarded her as only a friend, and her comments earlier made Randi realize that a lot had changed when Ben had stolen her lover’s memories.  So she was caught by surprise when Gwen kept hold of her hand and led her to the bed. 

“C’mon, Gunny.  It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.”

“I’ll make a pallet on the couch, Gwen....”

Gwen eyed the tiny loveseat dubiously.  “I don’t think so.  The bed is big, and we’re both adults.  It’s not like we haven’t shared before.”

Randi nodded.  “As long as you’re comfortable.”  Gwen grabbed her bag and moved to the bathroom area.

“I won’t be but a minute.”

Randi turned to her own bag and pulled out her pajamas.  She was changed, had brushed her hair and teeth, and was comfortably ensconced on one side of the big bed before Gwen emerged from the bathroom.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so long.  Do you...?” motioning toward the toilet area.  When Randi shook her head, she turned off the light, pausing to let her eyes adjust before moving to the bed.  “Geez, I didn’t expect it to be so dark.”  Randi chuckled silently.  “Hush, you,” reaching over and giving the other woman a light smack on the ribs.  They were quiet for a time after that, falling into a pleasantly lethargic haze.  They listened to the muted sounds of the ongoing party outside.  “That was interesting,” Gwen murmured.

“What was?”  Randi asked.  She’d been almost asleep when Gwen spoke, and she had no clue what Gwen was referring to now.

“That Amazon party.  I’d like to do that again sometime.  And what’s a card carrying Amazon anyway?”

Randi rolled over onto her side.  “Yes, it was; yes, we can; and we’ll talk about it later.”

Gwen yawned and nodded.  “’Kay.  Night, Randi.”  She tucked a hand under her cheek and promptly fell asleep.  Randi lay there looking at her in the darkness for a few minutes before she replied.

“Goodnight, Love.”

************

Gwen was the first to awaken the next morning.  She had vague recollections of this happening before but never in quite this position.  They had started out innocently enough on opposite sides of the bed.  As the night wore on however, the space between them diminished.  From facing one another, they had migrated to end up wrapped in each other’s arms.  So when Gwen opened her eyes, her head was pillowed on Randi’s shoulder with an arm thrown across her middle.  She smiled wistfully at how natural it felt to be cradled by those strong arms, then sighed.  She got up, surprised at how cold it was out of that embrace.  She pushed her pillow into Randi’s arms that had started searching for her the moment she moved.  She smiled again as Randi wrapped herself around it and fell back into a deeper sleep.  Then she moved off to take a shower.

************

“Thanks, Morph.  I appreciate all the help.”

“No prob, cuz.  You’ve always been good to me.  I’m glad to repay a favor or two.”

************

The two women got back on the road shortly after breakfast.  The whole town was quiet, having spent a majority of the night partying.  Only a very few people were out and about in the early morning sunshine.  “Wow, this place is a lot different during the day, huh?”

“No, this is how it is most of the time.  This is how it was when I came through the other night.  It’s the family reunion thing that changes it and then the change is only temporary.  Two or three days of celebration and then the place goes back to normal.”

They were making good time until shortly after lunch it started to rain.  Randi slowed down, but kept going, hoping to make the distance she needed to get them home the following day.  When she felt Gwen start to shiver however, she began to look for a place to stop.  The inn she found was nice, and Randi got them two rooms.  She really didn’t want to, but she respected Gwen’s need for a bit of space.  Gwen wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.  She was at once both somewhat relieved and oddly disappointed, and that just put her in a state of confusion she wasn’t really comfortable with.  Goldman, just suck it up. What the hell is up with you, anyway?   She moved into the bathroom, settling into the very warm water for a nice long soak.

Because they had stopped early, it put them behind schedule in getting home.  It was just coming on noon of the fourth day when they crossed onto the island.  Randi’s behavior was baffling Gwen.  She was polite but distant, catering to Gwen’s every need but not forcing anything upon her.  Gwen decided to call heron it shortly.  For now though, a rustling noise from the tree line made them both look in that direction.  It didn’t take a moment before Randall toddled out, headed toward them as fast as he could manage.  He squealed in delight on spotting them.

“Wuv!  Wen!”  Gwen knelt down and opened her arms, and he rushed headlong into them.  “Wen!  Tory... pwease?”

Gwen smiled and ruffled his hair.  She picked him up and walked to the patio table, settling down and talking quietly to him.  Ella had followed her offspring more slowly, and she went to the shed where Randi was carefully stowing the motorcycle.  “Good to see ya’ll back,” she welcomed.  Tommy had cautioned her that something wasn’t right, and Randi had in fact called the night before and given them a brief synopsis of what had happened. So she was trying to keep from intruding, knowing so many subjects were taboo now, but still wanting to get things back to as normal as possible.  “We expected ya’ll in last night.”

“Yeah, the weather delayed us.  We got caught in an awful shower coming home.”

“Um, we saw that.  I figured that was the hold-up.  How’s Ditto?”

“Fine.  She gave birth to four beautiful puppies, and they all have homes already.  There is one, all black with yellow eyes... Reed swears he is a throwback to some ancient wolf forefather.”  She smiled when Ella’s brows shot up into her hairline.  “Yeah, I know, but she’s convinced.  Says she can trace the lineage.”  She paused.    “He does look a little like a wolf, come to think of it.”  Randi laughed lightly.  “They’re a cute little bunch, though.”

Randi picked up the bags and headed out toward the house.  Gwen and Randall were playing chase on the shoreline.  The boy stopped, bending over slightly with his hands on his knees.  He pointed, and Gwen ambled over to take a closer look.  “Sand spider,” she answered as the other two women approached.  “Let’s leave him alone and play over here.”

“Wuv!”  The child lost interest in his surroundings as his other playmate came into view again.  He ran to her, latching onto her legs, intent on pulling himself up.  She lifted him up, blowing raspberries on his belly, which made him scream with laughter.  Ella watched Gwen watching them and realized the bond between the two women was altered, reverted back to what it had been in the time previous to Randi’s death.  She found herself wondering what had happened in the days they had been gone that could have changed the dynamic between them so drastically.  They spent a nice afternoon together, watching Randall play at the edge of the water.  Several times he walked back to one or the other of them, bringing an offering of sand or shells.  Talk among them was light and varied, and they were surprised to note the sun was setting as they heard Tommy’s transport stop at the front.

Randall ran to him as he came around the corner.  “Pa!” waiting to be hoisted up and flown like a shuttle.  Tommy gamely complied even though the child was very wet and sandy.  He brought Randall in for a landing and leaned into his wife for a kiss.  “Hello, ladies.  Nice to see you back with us again.  How was your trip?  And how is Ditto?”  He took a seat, and Randall was quite content to sit on his lap quietly and rest for a few minutes.  Gwen answered his questions and gave him an update on her father.  “Well, I hope he gets better pretty quick.  He and I have a project to finish.  But for now,” he continued before they could ask, “I’d like to take the three special women in my life out to dinner.  How ‘bout it?”

“That’s fine with me,” Ella answered.  “As long as we get to go home and clean up first.  Somebody here needs a serious bath.”

“Randi?” he questioned expecting her to take the lead.

She glanced to Gwen.  “It’s up to Gwen.  It’s fine with me though.”

Gwen looked hard at her, trying to figure out what was going on with her.  Randi returned the stare with an impassive one of her own.   Gwen gave up trying to fathom the thoughts running behind the mask, determined to ferret them out at the earliest opportunity.  She faced Tommy squarely and nodded.  “Thanks, T.  We’d love to.”

“Wonderful!  We’ll be back in an hour to pick you up.”

Randi walked the trio around to the front of the house.  Ella had refused to take the child through the house, citing his disheveled appearance.  Gwen said her goodbyes, cleaned up the deck area and went inside.  She stood waiting for Randi to enter from the front, facing the door with her arms crossed on her chest.  Randi’s face showed her surprise when she saw Gwen standing there.

“Gwen, aren’t you gonna get ready?  I thought you wanted to do this.”

“Randi, we need to talk.”

“Um, okay,” not sure what had happened to bring this about.  “But can we do it later?  We need to get ready.”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“Do you really want to do this?”  A confused frown crossed Randi’s features.  “I’m not sure what is going on with you... with us, Randi, but I’m getting all kinds of mixed signals from you.  Now do you want to do this?”

“Yes, I just didn’t want you to fell pressured or obligated.”

“Pres.... Obli....  You’re right... we do need longer than we have right now to talk this out.”  She poked a finger into the firm chest.  “But we are gonna talk about this.  Soon.”

“Agreed,” Randi said, wondering what kind of mess she’d just managed to land in so firmly with both feet.

Dinner passed quickly and pleasantly between the four friends.  Randall’s antics kept them in stitches, and it was fairly easy to avoid any uncomfortable subjects.  It was very late when the Steeles dropped them at the front door.

“That was nice.  We don’t do that nearly often enough.”

“I know.”  Gwen yawned.  “I really wanted to stay up and talk to you tonight, but I’m beat.  And since we need to go to work tomorrow....  Can we talk later?”

“Yeah,” Randi answered, grateful for the reprieve.  “I’m always around and you know where I live,” she lightly joked.

“Smart ass!” Gwen replied, lightly smacking her in the stomach.  “I’m headed up to bed.  See you in the morning.  Night, Randi.”

Randi waved a hand in response and watched Gwen walk up the stairs to her room.  “Goodnight, Love,” she whispered when the door closed behind her.

For the third night in a row, Gwen tossed and turned in the big, empty bed.  She fluffed the pillows... twice. Got up and got a drink of water.  Pushed all the cover off, then pulled them all up over her head.  Nothing helped.  Even though she was exhausted, sleep eluded her.   Gently she traced her fingers over the pillow in a now well-known pattern.  She wracked her brain, trying desperately to figure out what was so familiar about the outline.  Her hand continued to move quite without her conscious permission until the hypnotic rhythm lulled her to sleep just before dawn.

Gwen was quite grumpy when the alarm went of a couple hours later, but she grudgingly got out of bed and got on with her mornings ablutions.  She tromped down the stairs, and Randi looked up wide-eyed at her when she caught the expression on her face.  “Good morning, Gwen,” she said quietly.  “Problem?”

“Yes,” came the short answer.  “I don’t know what is going on with you, but I want it to stop.  I want things to go back to what they were before.  I know something happened while I was with... Ben.  There are things I can’t remember; other things that don’t make sense right now.  But I’m going to figure them out.  In the meantime, I want my best friend back.  Stop treating me like... like... whatever it is you’re treating me like!  I don’t like it!”  She rubbed a hand across her forehead.  “And good morning, by the way, although it really isn’t.”  She sighed.  “I have got the worst headache.”

“Turn around.”

Gwen complied with the low spoken command and immediately felt a sense of relief as the large hands dug firmly into the knots in her neck and shoulders.  “Ooooh,” she moaned, “you have absolutely no idea how wonderful that feels.  I haven’t slept the last three nights, and I think it’s starting to get to me.  Sorry about the outburst, by the way.  I wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t want to come off sounding like a harpy.”

Randi smiled.  “I’m glad you said something.  I wasn’t sure what was going on with you, and I wanted to give you plenty of space to figure it out.  I know he messed with your mind somehow.  He told me as much.”

“Yeah, and I’m going to figure everything out.  I’d just prefer we be normal.  I need you close, not far away.”

Blue eyes widened at the comment.  “Good, because I’ve missed having my best friend around.”  A beat.  “Now why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I dunno, but it’s starting to get to me in a very big way.  C’mon, we need to get to work.  Maybe we can try to figure it out this afternoon.”

Randi just nodded her agreement.

************

Things had stacked up for both of them while they’d been gone though Gwen’s class had continued on in her absence.  The pile of things Randi had waiting for her however, caused her to call down to the stable and have Excalibur saddled for her.  “If I need to tour the place, I might as well enjoy it.”  The stallion was happy to see her mostly, and after a nip in scolding of her prolonged absence, was patient to stand by while she mounted.  The ride was peaceful, and Randi was happy to see that things had been maintained so well while she’d been gone.  It was coming on to lunchtime, and she decided to take Gwen at her word.  She angled the horse’s steps in the direction of the classroom, arriving just as mess call was announced.  She watched as the classroom of eager beginners emptied out, leaving the teacher alone in the doorway.

“Hello there, Stranger.”  Gwen shaded her eyes against the bright sunlight.  “What are you doing in this neck of the woods?”

“I was out taking a look at things and thought I’d mosey by and see if you wanted a lift over to the mess hall.”  She grinned rakishly and waggled her eyebrows.  Gwen laughed, stepping out to meet her.

“Sure,” raising her arm to be pulled up behind.  She grinned at the comfortable familiarity the sensation gave her, then held on for dear life when Randi sent the stallion into a gallop.  It was quite a ride.  Randi took the long, circular route to get back to the barn, and they spent the few minutes wiping down the horse catching their own breaths.  “That was fun,” Gwen commented with a laugh.  “We should do that more often.”

“Um... I don’t know that he’d be quite as anxious to run so hard if we did that everyday.”  The animal seemingly took affront to the comment and stamped his hoof in protest.  “Then again,” Randi chuckled, “I could be entirely wrong about that.”  She set down the brush and reached a hand toward Gwen.  “C’mon.  I’m starving, and I smelled roast beef cooking this morning.”

“Oh yum!  My favorite.”  She took the larger hand and started pulling the tall woman with her.  “Let’s go.”

Their table was empty, and Tommy smiled when they walked in hand in hand.  Maybe things are getting back to normal between them.  Their interaction had been off at dinner the other evening, and he now observed them idly while he recalled an unrelated conversation he and Ella had had after they’d gotten home.

“I don’t know what to make of it, Hon.” They had put Randall to bed and were sitting on the patio enjoying the peace of a nightcap together.  The night was warm and the sky full of stars.  The ocean breeze was salty, and they were glad of the opportunity for a bit of quiet time together.

“What to make of what, Babe?”  Tommy had been letting his mind wander and had no actual clue what his wife was referring to.

“Gwen and Randi.  I mean something has obviously changed between them.  It’s like it was before... before Randi came home.”  He nodded, but didn’t speak.  “But even stranger... Gwen has started telling stories again.”  Now his head whipped in her direction.

“Excuse me?  Come again, please?”

It was her turn to nod solemnly.  “It’s true.  Not much; not like it was before, but I’ve heard her tell two very simple stories in the past few days.  I’m curious to know what happened.  It was peculiar to see.”

“Hmm, yeah, I guess it would be.  Well, we’ll keep an eye on them.  We seem to have gotten pretty good at that over the years.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “we have.  But for right now,” taking his glass from his hand and standing, “I want to concentrate on *us*.”  She reached her hand down and he took it in his own, rising and following her inside.

He came back to the present with a start and resumed his covert observation of the two women.  Their interaction was much as it had been before they became committed lovers though he sensed a new element in their relationship.  It’s almost as if... as if Randi is making a conscious effort to court her bard this time.   He wasn’t sure what exactly gave him that impression, but he’d be willing to bet the company on it.  He smiled.  He’d never known Randi to decide she wanted something without getting it.  He sat back, grinning like a Cheshire cat and crossed his arms over his chest.  This is gonna be sweet to watch.

“Now I wonder what he is up to?”  Randi posed the question to her companion as they ate.  She’d caught the expression on Tommy’s face.  It made her senses tingle.

“Who?  The boss?  Why does he have to be up to something?” 

“He has the oddest look on his face.  That usually means he’s up to something.”

“Oh, I dunno... I’ve been accused having some pretty funny faces when I’ve been working on a story myself.”  She smiled impishly at the warrior, crinkling up her nose adorably.  It was all Randi could do not to just lean over and....

“I dunno,” she responded in kind.  “I think you’re just too cute.”  She chuckled at the blush that crept up Gwen’s face.  “Maybe you’ll tell me a story later?”

“I’d like that.  Seems like it’s been a long time since I told a story.”  She rubbed her head.  “But then....” she trailed off and rubbed the back of her neck with one hand.  Randi covered the other one and squeezed it gently in concern.

“Gwen?”

“I’m sorry,” Gwen replied. “So much of my memory seems... almost hazy.  It hurts to think about it.”

“I’ll tell ya what.  You stop thinking in that direction for a while and when we get home, I’ll give you a rubdown.  How’s that sound?”

“Like heaven.  I think I’ll keep you.”

“Oh you do, huh?” with a saucily raised brow.  That had sounded a lot like her lover and not just her best friend.

“Yep.  Besides, that may help me get some sleep tonight.  Now c’mon... we’ve both got work to finish, and I’ve got reading to do at home.”

Randi’s second eyebrow joined the first, wondering what on earth was so pressing at home.  Then she shrugged mentally.  No doubt Gwen would share when she was ready.  Randi rose, picking up their trays and extending her elbow.  “Shall we walk?”

Gwen linked her arm through Randi’s.  “Yes, let’s.”

It wasn’t afternoon, but early evening before Randi finally left for home.   She had work she needed to finish so Gwen took the transport home when her class was over in the early part of the afternoon.  Her reading had reached the end of her first tenure with Midas and finally found the answer to one question that had been plaguing her.

    I am going to send duplicates of these files and all the ones following to Mother for safekeeping.  I will feel better about having them in one central location.  I know the odds of anything happening to them are slim, but I’d rather be sure. 

Well, that helps explain a thing or two, Gwen sighed to herself.  I must have kept the habit, right up until....  She turned her mind away from unpleasant thoughts and dove back into her diaries with determination.

When Randi called, indicating her soon-to-be-readiness to be picked up, Gwen was surprised to realize that the entire afternoon had passed with her reading.  Even stranger was the relative lack of entries during the time she had been away from Randi.  Then it occurred to her that she had been given her first written journal during that time and realized it was time to pull the diaries from the box and begin reading in them.  Not right now though.  First, she needed to pick up Randi.  She owed Gwen a serious back massage.

“Go soak for a little while,” Randi instructed Gwen when they re-entered the house.  It was full dark, and they had the house open to catch the lovely breeze that was now blowing.  The scent of the ocean was nice and the sounds were soothing.  “I’ll be up in about half an hour.”

“Okay,” Gwen answered, already halfway up the stairs.  She was glad.  Something had been bugging her since she’d made the discovery about those files, and she needed to see if she could find a quick answer.  She set the temperature and fill level on the tub and walked back into the bedroom.  She pulled out the books and looked through their dates, noting that they were in reverse order.  “Figures,” she muttered to herself, then opened the one on the bottom of the stack.  She flipped through the pages quickly, skimming the entries til she found what she was looking for.  “Ah ha!”

About midway through the first journal, she had made a note to herself.  It was even highlighted, so she couldn’t miss it.

    I find I get great joy from actually writing down my thoughts and feelings, and re-recording them for the file just isn’t the same.  I will record the highlights and send them to Mother.  The rest of it will stay here in written form.  With the highlights, I should be able to fill in the blanks if I ever lose these.  But I feel comfortable with this.  It seems a natural thing to me.

Gwen reflected on that summation for a bit before she made a move for the bathroom.  It was true, she understood, on a multitude of levels.  Then she stripped and stepped into the tub, sighing in blissful contentment as the warm water enfolded her.  She closed her eyes.

A full thirty minutes passed before she heard a light knocking on the outer door.  “Shit!” she muttered, then spoke in a louder voice.  “C’mon in, Randi.  It’s open.  I won’t be but a minute.”  Quickly she bathed and rinsed, stepping out of the tub and wrapping herself in a big fluffy towel.  Randi had her back to the bathroom door when Gwen stepped out.  She turned to face Gwen, then whipped back around to give the blonde a little privacy to dress.  “’Kay, Randi.  I’m ready,” Gwen mumbled from the bed.

The sight before her made blue eyes widen and her heartbeat to race.  Randi swallowed hard, remembering the many times in the weeks she had been back that she’d been allowed to take the vision before her to passionate, carnal heights.  And the many times the pleasure had been returned to her.  She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to assume a clinical attitude.  Even then she had to admire the strength of the muscular back, all the way down to the dimples just above Gwen’s thin waist and shapely behind.  Randi drew a deep breath and oiled her hands.


Chapter XI

“So how did you spend your afternoon?” Randi asked as she started gently probing Gwen’s tight back.

“I was reading.”  She didn’t add anything else, and Randi was about to question her further when something caught her attention.  She moved her hands over different key spots across the landscape of muscle and skin, touching lightly, noting the oddity of several key pressure point locations.  She cursed to herself.  That son of a bitch!  “Randi?  What are you doing?  That tickles.”  Randi pulled her hands away and wiped them on the towel she’d brought with her.  Gwen started to roll over to face Randi before realizing she had nothing on covering herself save the towel that was pushed down around her hips.  Instead she rose a little and turned her head.  “Randi?” noticing the grimness around her mouth.  “Is there a problem?”

Randi’s head dropped, and she contemplated the comforter’s intriguing pattern for a long moment before she lifted her head and let blue eyes meet green.  “Yeah, Gwen, there is.”  She sighed and scratched the back of her neck.  “Ben did something to you while you were gone.”  She got up to pace.  “It’s what is causing your headaches and most likely, your memory problem.”

“Well, if you found the problem, you can fix it, right?”

The absolute faith that question conveyed made Randi smile just the slightest little bit.  “I think so, but it’s gonna take a bit of time.”

Gwen took advantage of the fact that Randi had her back turned to rewrap the towel and scoot to sit on the edge of the bed.  One arm across her stomach, she propped the other on it and covered her eyes with her hand.  “This means no massage tonight, huh?”  Randi dropped to her knees in front of the bard, instantly realizing her mistake as Gwen’s own unique scent wafted up to her.  She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, opening them at the gentle touch on her cheek.  “Randi?”  Concern radiated from verdant green eyes.

“Gwen, there are pressure points in your body that can be influenced and depending on the manipulation, they give control of your mind and/or body to the person who moved them.”

“Ben has control of my mind???  But Randi, he’s dead!!!”

“Yes, I know and not exactly.  He had some control.  He set things up to remove your memories and then effectively locked everyone out... himself included.  Now,” her head dropped and then she looked up again.  “There is a key to unlocking it, but I’m gonna have to figure it out completely before we try it.  I don’t want you getting hurt....” Here her eyes lowered again and this time they stayed down.  “... or worse.  I couldn’t live with that,” she finished in a whisper.

Two small hands gently cupped her face and forced her eyes up until they met Gwen’s.  “Randi, I told you this before, and I meant it.  I trust you.  And apparently I always have.”  Gwen let her hands drop now, and her eyes followed.   Randi moved from the floor to sit beside her.  She took the smaller hands in her own large ones, chafing them softly.  She bent her head to catch Gwen’s eyes.

“What do you mean, Gwen?” confusion clearly written in her eyes.

Gwen lifted her eyes and sighed.  “I’ve been studying my diaries; re-reading my journals in the hopes that something in them would jog my memory.”  Another sigh as she looked back to the ground.  “It hasn’t helped me to remember anything yet, but it is fascinating.”

“In what way?”  Randi found this little exchange extremely spellbinding.  Gwen had never actually talked about her journals before, and Randi respected her need for privacy and hadn’t asked.  Now that Gwen had brought it up, though....  Well, she’d learned as a Sabre never to pass up a golden opportunity, and this certainly was one handed to her on a silver platter.  Still she would let Gwen lead the conversation, not wanting to pry but curious nonetheless.

“Well,” standing and moving to the closet, “you remember our meeting?”  She grabbed her pajamas and Randi nodded.  “And you remember the things we’ve done together?”  She slipped her shorts on and turned her back as she dropped her towel.  Randi couldn’t help but steal a peek, smiling bittersweetly at the memories this scene provoked.  “Well,” Gwen continued as she stepped from the closet buttoning the last two buttons.  “A lot of things I remember; some things I don’t.  But the things I do remember... they don’t make much sense.  And the feelings and emotions that I’ve written about don’t exist in the memories.  It’s a very confused hodge-podge for me.  Is this making any sense at all?”

“Uh huh.”  Randi was telling the truth though she did hope the younger woman would continue to explain.  She was getting a headache from it.  So she could only imagine how Gwen was feeling about now.

“Okay, well,” Gwen put her folded hands to her lips and started to pace the room.  She went back and forth for several minutes, muttering to herself.  Randi sat quietly, having seen this process many times before when the bard was in a creative mode.  Finally she came to a stop and put her hands on her hips.  “When I started my diaries here, I was very thorough.  I recorded events, thoughts and emotions.  And I’ve been listening to them... wait....” waving her hands.  “You have to know that I decided to do this after I went to Mother and Daddy’s the other day to pack up some stuff for them.  I found a hard file copy of snippets of my diary that made me decide to see if listening to the holos, reading the actual written journals would help anything.”

“Okay.”

“Okay so I’ve been reliving things... watching our friendship grow and change.”

“And is that a good thing?”

“So far it’s been a very good thing.  It’s been a very enlightening experience.  Do you know that we are the most unlikely of friends?  We are so different.  But you know,” hastening on at the hurt she could see blooming in the blue eyes.  “I think that is why we’re are such good best friends.”  She sat down next to Randi and leaned against her comfortably.

“Ya think?” smiling a little.

“Yeah, I do.  We compliment each other, complete one another.”

Randi rubbed the back of her fingers along the bard’s smooth cheek.  “Yeah, we do.”  She cleared her throat.  “And you know if you ever want to talk about things you find in your diaries, I’ll be glad to listen or answer any questions.  But I don’t want you to think I’m prying.  You don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know and I appreciate it... on both counts.  Now,” taking her hand and pulling them both to their feet, “let’s go rummage for dinner.  I didn’t fix anything I got so caught up in my reading.”

“That’s okay.  What do you say to eggs and bacon?”

“With biscuits and jelly?”

“With biscuits and jelly... and peanut butter too if you like.”

“I like... let’s go.”

************

Again sleep was difficult for Gwen.  The only thing that helped was the mysterious tracing.  She determined to finds its origin at the first opportunity.  That was her last coherent thought as her hand stilled and her mind raced ahead.

The following day was Friday, and Gwen only had half a day scheduled.  Her students had their first performances slated for the evening so she had the afternoon free.  Randi got stuck with several afternoon meetings so at lunch she said casually, “Would you mind taking the transport out to Rosie’s place and picking us up some barbeque?  I know we normally ride out there on Saturdays, but I thought we’d shuttle out to Reed’s to see the puppies again.”  She blushed slightly but maintained eye contact.  “If you want to, that is,” she added belatedly.

Gwen smiled.  “I like that idea... both of them.  Are you coming tonight?”

“Yep.  It’ll be tight, but I’ll be there.  I’ve never missed when I was in town to see it.”

“Cool.  I’ll go and get back.  We can have a late supper?”

“Yep.  We need to check on your folks too, Little One.”

“I know.  I spoke to Mother briefly when we got home from Reed’s but I need to call her again.”

“Tell ya what...why don’t we go up there tonight and then head out to Reed’s tomorrow afternoon?”

“I’m liking this idea better and better, Stud.  I’ll pack your bag if you want to make the arrangements.”

“Actually I keep a couple bags packed for emergencies.  Just grab the one that says summer.  And bring them with you to the theatre.  I’ll make sure we leave straight from here.  We should get there before it gets too late.  I even have a place for us to stay,” thinking of the bungalows reserved as temporary quarters for use by Sabres only.  She was sure Jerry would waive that little rule.  He owed them that much.

Gwen smiled as she stepped out of the transport.  Rosie stuck her head out, doing a double take at her familiar customer.  “Well, now... I didn’t expect to be seeing you today.  Come in!  Come in!  Where your girl?  And where’s that lovely bike you two usually ride in on?”  Gwen shook her head, chuckling silently.  She realized that Rosie was referring to Randi as ‘her girl’ and wondered where she’d gotten that idea.  It occurred to her briefly that the proprietress was not the first to refer to them together that way, but she put it aside til later, hoping her diaries would lend some insight.  Meantime Rosie was ushering her in to the inner sanctum, chattering at her the entire time.  “Now, what brings you out here on a weekday, hmm?”

“Oh, I just wanted to pick up some dinner.  We’re going to be out of town this weekend again, and I’ve been missing your wonderful cooking.  So Randi suggested I come get something for supper.”

Rosie watched Gwen carefully, looking past her words and listening to the tones and intonations behind them.  Oh, Little One... the feelings are still there, aren’t they?  It is just a matter of you finding the truth in your heart again.  Well, we’ll make sure you find it.  The world is gonna need the strength of your love for her to survive the coming tribulations.  Aloud she answered Gwen cheerfully.  “Well then.  I guess we’d better take care of you straightaway, hmm?”  And she started moving about in the kitchen, getting their supper together.  “So tell old Rosie what you’ve been up to.  I’ve missed seeing ya’ll around for the last few weeks.”

“Um, this and that,” Gwen answered vaguely.  There was so much that had happened that was so personal she didn’t feel comfortable sharing.  “My dad hurt his back and is having to go through some rather serious rehabilitation.  We’re going up to see them tonight.  Oh, and Ditto had her puppies!”  She grinned largely at the thought.  “And they are soooo cute.”

“I’m sorry to be hearing about your father.  How is your mother coping?”

“Very well.  She’s a very strong woman. And she’s really come through as his support through all this.  If he’s able to walk again, it will be in large part due to her.”

“Ah, I had no idea it was so serious for them.  I’ll make sure to send up a special prayer for them.”

“Thanks, Rosie.  Every little bit helps.”

“Now tell me about those pups,” hoping to get a smile from the sadly thoughtful face.

It worked.  Gwen put her concerns aside and told the woman about Ditto, Phil and the four puppies that made up their little family.  Almost half an hour passed in pleasant chatter before Gwen caught sight of the time.  “Damn... I’ve got to get going.  My students have their first public performances tonight, and I have to stop by the beach house first.  Thanks Rosie,” holding up their dinner.

“Anytime, Child.  Come back and see me again when you can stay and visit for a while, okay?”

“Will do,” Gwen answered, climbing into the transport.  She waved to the watching woman and headed back down the road toward home.  Rosie’s eyes followed her progress until she was out of sight.  The old woman didn’t even flinch in surprise when another figure suddenly appeared beside her.

“It’s bad?”

“Everything points in that direction, yes.”

“Shit,” the deity cursed, and the shamaness simply looked at the goddess.  “What can we do?”

“Wait and pray??  There are too many factors in flux for me to be able to give you the pat answer you want, Athena.”

“I know.”  The goddess hung her head.  “I’m sorry, Rosie.  You know what the consequences are here.”  She sighed.  “Just keep an eye on things, will you?  I will be watching too.”

“You know I will, goddess.”

“Thank you, my friend.” And the wisdom goddess simply disappeared in the mist.

************

“I was beginning to wonder if we were gonna get a chance to eat before the performance,” Randi teased as they entered the security office with full hands.  “You certainly believe in cutting it close, don’t you?”

“Be nice to me, Gunny, or I’ll be forced to take drastic measures!”

“Oh yeah?” Randi scoffed.  “What could a bitty thing like you do to me?” standing to her full height and gesturing to her neatly muscular body.

“You wait... I’ll get you and when you least expect it too.”  Randi chuckled soundlessly and dug into her meal with relish.  She wasn’t surprised to see Gwen moaning over her fried apple pie about halfway through the meal.

“Couldn’t wait, hmm?” with a grin.  “I hope you got one for me.”

“Well, I had, but I don’t think I’m going to give it to you now.  I’ll keep it for myself.”

Outraged blue eyes captured twinkling green.  “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Well,” removing the treat from its wrapping, “You wanted to know what I could do to you, didn’t you?”  The blue eyes went round as the bard broke off a small piece and sucked it off her fingers into her mouth.  The movement was as much erotic as it was teasing, and Randi swallowed the moan she felt rising in response.  Gwen took a second bite; this time allowing her own little moan to escape.  Randi reached across the small table.

“Give me that!”

Gwen jumped back out of her reach, laughing a little.  “I don’t think so.”

Randi rose and so did Gwen, and they had a short chase around the room.  Randi’s obvious height and reach advantages came into play, and she captured Gwen rather quickly.  She pinned the small body between her own and the wall, intent on taking the pie away from the blonde.  Her body turned traitor though, and she felt herself mesmerized by the feel of Gwen in her arms.

Gwen felt the change, and the electricity running between them caused her darkened green eyes to meet their deep blue twins.  They stood still for a moment, breathing each other’s air before Randi pulled away a bit and stole the last half of the treat.  “Thanks, Gwen!” with a smile on her face while her body screamed in outrage and her soul cried in anguish at being separated from its mirror twin.  She popped half the pie in her mouth and held out the last bite to Gwen.  “Here.”

“Thanks, Randi,” placing the sweet in her mouth absently while still processing the tingling reaction she could feel throughout her body to the possessive touch.  It made her very glad to have packed her first written journal.  She knew the answers she was searching for were there if she kept looking.

The recital went off quite well, and Gwen and Randi managed to make their escape rather quickly when it was over.  Gwen yawned for the third time in as many minutes once they were comfortably ensconced on either end of the soft couch in the private shuttle.  “You know, I’ve noticed we always have a private shuttle when we go anywhere.  Why is that?  Damn, I’m tired.”

“Still not sleeping?”  Gwen shook her head, and Randi thought about it for all of two seconds before she patted her lap.  “C’mere.”  Willingly Gwen put her head on Randi’s strong legs, closing her eyes as a peaceful warmth pervaded her senses.  “This is one reason I travel privately when I can.  I like the personal space.”  She smiled down at the blonde whose eyes were tightly shut.  “Besides,” she continued, shifting a little, “it’s a great way to catch a few zzz’s.”

She watched in fascination for a minute as Gwen began her absent tracing.  “Um hmm,” Randi heard Gwen agree.  “It sure is.”  The next sound Randi heard was a soft almost snoring sound. 

“Goodnight, Love.”

Gwen didn’t stir when the shuttle landed except to coo slightly and cuddle closer when Randi carried her to the waiting transport.  During their short trip to the bungalow, she stayed nestled in Randi’s lap whose face was the picture of bemusement.  She was quite comfortable but more than a touch confused.  What is going on with you, Gwen?  You sleep with me, but not away from me?  And what is with the tracing?  Is your mind trying to remember?

The transport stopped, and Randi opened the door by key code and password information that controlled the security system.  The driver brought the duffels in and exited as silently as she had entered.  Randi, meanwhile, carried Gwen into a bedroom and after removing her shoes, tucked her into bed.  Gwen emitted a slight whimper of protest when Randi released her, and Randi wrapped Gwen’s arms around a second pillow.  She noted again the fingers moving unconsciously.  Then she left the room and went to her own.  Yawning, she entered the dark room and stripped down to her underwear.  She walked into the dark bathroom and brushed her teeth and then slid into the cool, clean sheets.  She was asleep within minutes.

It didn’t take very long once Randi had left the bard alone for Gwen to wake up.  She sat up and looked around, disoriented and confused.  What the....?  She scrubbed her face and ran her hands through her hair. Oh, I must have fallen asleep on the shuttle, and now we’re in the capital city.  Well since I’m awake....  She got up and went to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and putting on her pajamas.  She walked towards the bed, then hesitated.  Maybe I’d better check just to be sure.  She felt a little foolish, but her feet continued out the bedroom door and toward the only other inner door in the small cottage.  The door was cracked, and she eased it open.  The moonlight provided an interesting backlight, and the hallway nightlight gave enough foreshadowing that Randi’s face was perfectly outlined. She stopped, staring at the profile in startlement.   There was something curiously familiar about it.

A hand came up to cover Gwen’s mouth, and she reached out with the other.  Finally Gwen’s mind commanded her feet to move forward; to confirm what her eyes were telling her was true.  Slowly, step by eternal step, she made her was to Randi’s bedside.  She sank to the floor, hand still extended, and gently touched the soft skin of Randi’s face, confirming her suspicions.

Randi froze at the first tentative touch, hardly daring to breathe.  She’d felt Gwen come in the room, heard her soft gasp and lain there drowsily wondering what was going on.  At the  first touch, she felt the tears gather in her eyes. Oh God, how I’ve missed this.  It was the sobbing that brought her own tears flowing and caused her to sit up on an elbow.

“It’s you.  Oh my God, it’s you.”  Gwen repeated the mantra several times, tears flowing, before Randi grasped Gwen under the arms and literally hefted her into the bed.  She lay down flat on her back and cuddled Gwen up next to her, placing Gwen’s head over her own strong heartbeat.  Gwen lay there peacefully for a few minutes as her crying diminished.  Then she propped up on an elbow and looked down at the tear filled blue eyes gazing back at her.  She raised a hand, still slightly shaking, to Randi’s face.  Their eyes closed in tandem as sensations now deeply engrained as the ritual itself washed over them.  Finally Gwen placed her head back on Randi’s chest and whispered, “Night, Love,” snoring before the words registered in Randi’s ears.

“Goodnight, Love.”  And thank you, Dite.  It’s only a start, I know, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.  And without another thought, she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Randi resisted opening her eyes when morning’s light began to stream in through the window.  If I can just keep them shut a little longer.... In her mind’s eye, she could picture Gwen curled up next to her, gently tracing her features in the early light.  Randi smiled in her sleep, then frowned when her imagination produced the very real sensation of warm, wet tears falling onto her chest.  Slowly she let her eyes open and focused on the small hand lightly touching her face and the blonde head tucked neatly under her chin.  In reflex she hugged Gwen’s body closer to her and whispered, “Good morning.”

Gwen sat up slightly then... enough so her tear-filled green eyes met the deep blue of her companion’s.  She lifted a shaking hand to wipe the tears and smiled down tremulously.  Randi caught the hand and impulsively brought it to her lips.  Then she placed Gwen’s hand on her own chest over her heartbeat, and wiped the tears away with her own, larger hand.  Randi smiled when Gwen closed her eyes and leaned into her touch.

“It was you,” Gwen whispered again as though still trying to make herself believe the truth now so obviously in front of her.  She traced the fine facial features once again.  “I still don’t remember, still don’t understand.  He took this from me, from us.  He took so much.”

“Yes, he did,” Randi replied quietly.  “But it is nothing we can’t regain if that’s what you want.”

“I want.”

“Well, c’mon then.  We need to get ready and go see your folks and then, well, we’ll just have to see.”

Impulsively Gwen turned and gave Randi a tight hug.  “I love you, you know.  I’m so glad you’re a part of my life.”

Randi returned the embrace as fiercely as she dared.  “Ditto, my friend.  I love you too.”

They heard Geoff cursing all the way down the short hallway as they stepped inside the medifac.  He had therapy six days a week, working different muscle groups alternately.   And he hadn’t been allowed to stay in the cottage with Jill yet.  So he was tired and cranky and frustrated.  Jill plunged headlong out of his room and crashed straight into the pair approaching.  Only Randi’s quick reflexes saved them all from falling butt first to the floor.

“Jill?”
“Mama?”

The older woman hesitated, then wrapped her arms around both necks.  “Oh girls!  It is so nice to see you both here.  You have no idea.”

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

Jill sighed.  “Nothing, really.  Your father is just a little aggravated with himself and the world today.  Nothing a little time and improvement won’t solve.”  She gave a shaky smile.  “It’s just been one of those days.  But I’m glad to see you both.  What a nice surprise.”  She took a long look at them, noting their close proximity to one another and smiled a little more strongly.  Things weren’t back to normal yet, but they were much improved over what they had been even just a week prior.

“Gwen, why don’t you take your mom and go get some coffee and maybe catch her up a bit?  I’ll go talk to Geoff.”

“I’m not sure you want to do that right now, Randi.  He’s in quite a mood.”

“It’s okay, Jill.  I can handle anything he can dish out.  I have dealt with far worse than his attitude.  You let me take care of him and let Gwen take care of you for a little bit, all right?”

Jill looked up into blue eyes filled with caring and determination and sighed.  “I’d like that honestly.  It’s been a rough couple of days.  Thanks.”

“No problem, Mama.  C’mon.  I brought some wonderful blueberry muffins,” green eyes twinkled at Randi.  “They’re still warm.  Bet we can find some butter to go with them.  Maybe go share them out in the garden?”

“Oh, that sounds like heaven,” Jill answered, then turned to Randi.  “You sure you’ll be okay with him?”

“Trust me, Jill.  We’ll both be fine.”  She looked to Gwen.  “Try to save me a muffin, will ya?”

Randi watched the two Goldman women walk off toward the small mess area before turning and heading for Geoff’s room.  She heard the muttering and cursing more clearly as she approached the doorway, not at all surprised to hear the guttural yell that followed.  He caught sight of her and roared his disgust.  “YOU?!  This is all YOUR fault!  How dare you show your face here!  Do you have any idea what this feels like???  Goddamn you!”

Randi stood still as a statue, knowing the words came from his pain and frustration.  It didn’t make them hurt less, but it did make her understand their source better.  She was calm as she pushed off the doorframe and walked to his side.  “I will accept the responsibility for your injury though you made the choice to go on this mission yourself.  I was the commander, and therefore everything that happened ultimately lies on my shoulders.  But I will NOT accept responsibility for your piss-poor attitude.  Yes, I DO know what it feel like as a matter of fact.  I KNOW what it feels like to have to push and work and hurt and cry to regain the use of a body I once took for granted.  I know what it feels like to have given up everything, to have lost everything.  So don’t you DARE presume to lie there and take out your bad mood on me or anyone else.  You got me, mister?”

Geoff, shocked, simply nodded his head mutely.  He snapped his mouth shut and swallowed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the pillows propped behind him.  “I was being an ass, huh?”

“Uh huh.  Not that it’s not understandable; it is.  Especially from my point of view.  But Jill doesn’t deserve the shit.”

“No, you’re right.” He sighed.  “She doesn’t.  She has been very supportive and exceptionally understanding about the whole Sabre situation.  It’s just hard.”

Randi gestured to the bed and took a seat when Geoff nodded affirmatively.  She squeezed his shoulder firmly.  “I know, my friend.  I really do understand how you feel right now.”

He looked deep into her eyes and realized the truth of her words.  “You really do, don’t you?  Was it very terrible, Randi?  There are times the pain is overwhelming even with the treatments, and it seems my progress is non-existent.  It’s very disheartening.”

“Oh I know all too well what you’re feeling, Geoff.  You’ve actually made remarkable progress.  The fact that you already have almost full use of your upper body is amazing.  It took me a full year to recover, and Geoff, I was very lucky.  I was so determined to come home to Gwen. I really wasn’t completely healed.  I had horrible scars and a very bad limp.  I was still in quite a bit of pain.”

“But what happened?  I mean....” gesturing to the obviously fit body.

“A gift from Aphrodite.  Because of Gwen’s faith and mine.  My willingness to be less than perfect and to let her choose, no matter the cost to myself.

He thought about what she was saying and what she wasn’t and nodded.  “I’m sorry,” he finally said quietly.  “This was no one’s fault, and I have no right to blame you for what happened.  As I recall, you weren’t given an option on taking a team or who the team members were.  You didn’t deserve my anger.  It’s not your fault.”

“No, it’s not, but I bet you feel better for having gotten the rant and the apology out of your system, huh?”

“Yeah,” he grinned slightly.  “I do.  Thank you.  Now how are things with you and Gwen?  Jill filled me in on what happened, and I’ll tell you Randi... Gwen asked some hard questions.”

“I know.  We’ve talked quite a bit.  Things are not where they were, but I have faith.  She wants them to be and they will.  It’s just gonna take a little time and effort on my part... time and effort well spent.  This time, I’m gonna court my girl properly.”

“Oh?  Do tell.”

“Well, I’m still working on the details.  But if I can win her by unconsciously courting her, imagine what I could do if I TRY.”  She grinned broadly and Geoff couldn’t help but smile in return. 

“She’ll lose her heart to you all over again.”

“I hope so, Geoff.”

“I know so, Randi.”

************

The air was warm but not stifling like it had been.  The bumblebees buzzed lazily past, and there was a slight breeze.  Gwen led the way through the garden and out the gate to the small stream.  Jill looked at her surroundings approvingly before sitting and helping herself to a muffin.  Silence save for the outdoor summer sounds that encompassed them reigned for a time while they dug in heartily to the warm muffins and coffee.  When they were satisfied, Gwen leaned back and closed her eyes against the bright sunshine.   “How are you doing, Mother?”  She tilted her head in Jill’s direction and waited for the older woman to answer her.

“I’m fine, Sweetheart.  I just get tired and frustrated.  I’m glad you girls are here even just for a little while.  I think your daddy will be encouraged.  He loves both of you so much.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Well, he has good days and bad days.  Today didn’t start very well, and he is under the impression he should just be able to decide he is fine and everything will work again like it should.  It’s one thing to understand it is going to be a slow road of recovery.  It’s another to accept it as truth.  But we are both doing pretty good all things considered.” She smiled at her daughter.  “How are things with you and Randi?”  Gwen had been looking at her mother as she talked about Geoff, but that question made her flush pink and look away.  She reached a hand up for the chain the hung around her neck and grasped the ring.  “Gwen?  Honey?”

She sighed, looking down at the ring she held.  “Mama, I’m not really sure how to answer that question.  It’s like... I know I am missing some pretty big pieces, and I’m working on getting them back, but Mama... it’s like I’m drawn to her.  We’re a part of each other.”  She looked at Jill then.  “Is any of this making any sense?”

“More than you know, Daughter.  Go on.”

“I feel connected to her on levels I didn’t know I felt.  She completes me.”  She looked down at her ring again, then looked at her mother.  “And there is a story behind this, I’m almost sure of it.  I’ve seen the one Randi wears, Mama.  It’s a perfect match.”

“Have you asked her about it?”

“No.  I... I want to find what I lost first.  I don’t want to force her into a position she might not want to be in.  That would be embarrassing for both of us, and I need her friendship in my life.”

“So you think you know what it symbolizes?”

“I think so, yes.  I remember the stories that Gramma told me as a child.”

“Well, you take your time.  I’m sure Randi won’t begrudge you the opportunity to work out things for yourself.  And I would imagine she’ll answer any questions you ask.  But remember, Gwen, she cares about you.  Be good to her and be fair.”

Gwen looked puzzled at the statement, then nodded agreeably.  “I will, Mama.  Friends stick by one another, you know, and I think that is what Randi is doing... sticking by and letting me relearn at my own pace.  She could very easily have told me anything... everything... but she didn’t.  And I’m not losing her over something stupid like a little memory problem!”  Jill had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing aloud.  “Now let’s take her the last of these muffins before I forget how to share,” said with a grin.  “Besides, I want to talk to Daddy.”  And the two women rose and moved as one back toward the small building.


Chapter XII

The two women stopped in the doorway and stared at the spectacle that greeted them.  Randi and Geoff were in the middle of what looked to be a serious arm wrestling match.  Neither of them even noticed the women’s approach.  “Just what is going on here exactly?”  Jill put her hands on her hips when she spoke.  The contestants looked up sharply in surprise, and Randi’s attention was caught by the most intriguing look on Gwen’s face. Geoff took advantage of her distraction to slam her hand down onto the table.

“Ha ha!  The winnah!” he proclaimed, clasping his hands above his head in victory.  Randi looked at him dourly. 

“<Ahem>  One out of how many?”

His arms came down and he scratched at his clean-shaven face.  “Well now that is beside the point.  I won.”

Her eyebrow rose.  “You wanna go again, Old Man?”

Jill and Gwen looked at each other and burst into laughter.  “You two are impossibly cute.”  Twin scowls met this statement, and their laughter became slightly hysterical.  It was catching, and before long the entire room had dissolved into chuckles.  It was a great tension breaker and when Randi rose from Geoff’s bedside, Jill was quick to take her place.  The Goldmans talked quietly in low tones, and Randi went to stand beside Gwen.

“Did you save me any?” looking pointedly at the basket Gwen still carried.  She sniffed suspiciously.

Gwen had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing aloud.  “Yes, you big baby.  Didn’t I promise?”

“Yeah... gimme!!”  Randi reached out with her left hand and found it caught and held by Gwen’s surprisingly strong but gentle grip.  She looked up to meet green eyes suddenly gone serious.  Gwen swallowed hard.

“One day soon I’m going to ask you about these,” she whispered, holding the ringed hand up and clasping the one around her neck.

“Whenever you’re ready Gwen,” reaching out her other hand and cupping Gwen’s cheek, stroking lightly.  “You know that.  I’m in this for the long haul.”

“I know, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it.  I value you and your friendship.”

“Ditto.”

The conversation stopped then as Jill chose that moment to interrupt.  “Girls, we have a couple hours to kill.  Would you like to go visit one of the museums with me for a while?”  The confused looks prompted Geoff to speak up.

“I have a couple hours of therapy and massage.  It’s better for everyone if I do it without an audience.”

Comprehension dawned on two faces simultaneously.  “Gotcha.”  “Sure, Mom.”  The answers came at the same time and caused smiles to break out again.  “Would you like to fortify with a couple muffins first?” Randi asked, holding up the basket.  “We’ll bring back lunch.”

“Ill share with you, Randi, ‘cause I’m betting these two already filled up on them.”  Twin flushes acknowledged the truth of that statement.  Randi opened the basket and offered it to Geoff who took a couple muffins out and smiled.  “Thank you.  Now you all go have a good time together.  I’ll be here when you get back.”

The tech that had been patiently waiting in the doorway entered the room now and started the process for moving Geoff to the regen chamber for his next series of treatments.  The women took their cue and left.  Randi happily munched her muffins, humming delightedly.  Gwen and Jill smiled fondly at her and one another at her obvious childish delight in her breakfast.  And they headed out at a brisk walk toward the nearby science and history museums.

Geoff was glad to hear their cheerful voices coming down the corridor some hours later.  He chuckled silently at the bit of conversation he could make out between them.  “I don’t think my hair is ever gonna lay flat again.  That was mean, Miranda Valiant.”  Gwen’s voice was a little exasperated, but Geoff could clearly hear the good humor in her tone as well.

“Oh, I don’t know, Gwen.  I think you look kind of cute with that retro ‘spike’ look.”

“Mother, you’re supposed to be on my side here.  And you, don’t you look at me with those big blue puppy dog eyes.  It’s not going to work.  Now stop that.  Randi....  Augh!  All right!  All right!  I forgive you for the electrical shock.  The train ride and the ice cream were a nice apology, but the puppy dog eyes saved you from retaliation.   Where’d you learn about that old fashioned stuff anyway?”

The trio was standing in his doorway now, and Geoff had to cover his mouth to muffle his laughter.  Randi didn’t see the grateful look Jill gave her, but Gwen did.  She put it aside to ask her mother about later.  But for now....

“I’m sorry, Gwen, but the last time your hair stood up like that....”

“Daddy, don’t you dare!”

Randi couldn’t resist.  “Please, Geoff... continue.”  She thought a moment, then held up her hand.  “Wait.  Hold that thought.  Let’s get you in a hover chair and get you outside in the fresh air and sunshine.  You’ve been cooped up in here long enough.”

Jill’s eyes widened when after an almost imperceptible pause her husband nodded his agreement.  “I think I’d like that, Randi.”  His eyes twinkled.  “Then do I have some stories to tell you!”

Gwen and Jill hung back together and watched in awe as Randi helped Geoff move into the hover chair as though he weighed no more than a feather.  “She is amazing,” Jill whispered.  “I am so glad you girls came up.  I haven’t seen him laugh this much since... well, not for the past week anyway.  And her getting him outside is nothing short of miraculous.”

Well, guess that answered that question, Gwen thought.  Aloud she said, “Let’s grab the stuff we brought back.  We can have a picnic.”

“The staff has been after me to get out here.  I told them not until I get to go home with my wife.”  But Geoff took a deep breath of the fresh air and closed his eyes.  “God, it is so nice to get outside for a while.  Thank you for not giving me a choice.”  Randi raised her brow, and he answered.  “I think I needed this.  So thank you.”

“You are most welcome.”

Mother and daughter laid out the blanket they had snitched from Geoff’s bed and set the food out on top of it. Then they sat and watched Randi step out into the warmth of the day, easing the chair out in front of her. They paused to speak to each other quietly before they resumed their approach toward the two seated women.

“Our girls are very beautiful, aren’t they, Marine?”

Randi looked up and caught Gwen staring at her.  She smiled rakishly at Gwen who flushed but didn’t look away. “They sure are, Navy.  We are very lucky.”

“.... so in walks four year old Gwen, dried glue making her hair stand straight up all over her head.  I believe that was the last time we sent her to public school.” 

Said bard in question had her head with its now relaxed hair, hidden behind her hand.  Her ears glowed a bright red.  “Daddy, I am going to have to kill you for this.”  The rest of the group was merrily chortling.

“Oh.”  Randi had swallowed a bit of the fragrant iced tea and nearly snorted it out her nose.  Now she tried to speak in a normal voice.  “That is priceless.  Do you have holos?”

A small hand smacked her arm.  “No!  Please.”  Green eyes turned beseeching.  “You really don’t need to see that.”

Randi felt herself fall into those eyes, and her heart melted.  The Goldmans, watching the tableau, felt the heat between them and wondered that the two women were not seared by it.  Randi reached out a hand to stroke Gwen’s face.  “It means so much to you then?”  Gwen simply nodded.  “All right.”  They stayed that way for a timeless moment, totally forgetting their surroundings.  The spell was broken when Geoff spoke up.

“Thank you for this, Randi.  I can’t tell you the difference it has made.”

“I can,” Jill responded instantly.  “And thank you, Randi... from the bottom of my heart.  We needed this.”

The sun was just hitting the edge of the horizon when they took off for Reed and Tiny’s place. They felt much better about the Goldmans, and the parents were in a much better mood.  Not only had the day relaxed a lot of the tenseness brought on by Geoff’s injuries, but their minds had been set at ease about both their daughters.

“They’re gonna be okay, I think.”

“Yep, I think they are.”

“Thanks, Randi.  That was a lot of fun, and I think the folks needed it.  I know they appreciated it.  And the picnic was a great idea.”

Randi smiled shyly and even blushed slightly.  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.  Maybe we could do it again... just the two of us?”

“I think I’d like that.”  Gwen reached over and took Randi’s larger hand in her own.  And they remained that way for the relatively short trip to the ranch.

************

“Well, this is an unexpected but pleasant surprise,” Tiny commented as the shuttle settled silently on the pristine pad nearby.  He reached out a hand to Randi who gave him a brief clasp and turned to offer a hand up to Gwen.  It was fully dark, and the pad had no lights for obvious reasons.  “We were just sitting down to eat.  Reed will be glad we waited.  Hello, Gwen.”  He smiled.

“I’m sorry for the unannounced visit.  I did try to call, but no one answered.  And since you told me we could drop in at any time, I thought we’d take you up on the invite and check on Ditto and those puppies.”

“I’m glad you did.  You are both welcome here anytime... you know that.  I guess we should have checked the messages today, huh?”

“And yesterday.  And the day before.”

He rubbed his ear and blushed.  “I was away on business for a couple days.  We, um... spent the day... well, <ahem> we didn’t go near the phone.”

“You know, Randi,” regarding Tiny with twinkling green eyes. “He’s kinda cute when he blushes.”  This only made him blush harder of course, causing him to almost glow in the night air.  He cleared his throat but said nothing.  He held the door open and motioned them to enter ahead of him, flushing yet again when Gwen kissed his cheek and chuckled.

“How do you...?”

“I don’t.  I just go with the flow where she is concerned.”

Ditto was glad to see them, but her reaction was a little off.  She regarded Randi warily for a long moment before allowing her near.  Gwen she circled several times before accepting her presence.  “What is up with her?”  Tiny sat with Gwen and introduced her to the puppies while Randi and Reed stood back.  Actually Reed had held her friend back when it looked as though the shepherd was not going to accept Gwen.

“Dogs are very sensitive creatures.  If you remember, Ditto didn’t even greet her last week.  Now that she has babies, well, she’s more protective than ever.  It helps that things are looking better between you.  The aura’s not right yet, but it is getting there.  Am I right?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” dropping her head and flushing a little.  “And it’s so damned nice.  I just wish....”

“Be patient, my friend.  It will happen.  I am so very happy for you both.”

“Me too, Reed.  Thanks.”

Randi moved to reacquaint herself with the pups, not realizing the same thought that was crossing through her mind was crossing through Reed’s as well.  Why had Ditto reacted so strangely toward her?

It was quite late when the four finally decided to turn in.  Reed inadvertently stepped in it all over again when she led them to their rooms.  “I put you in the same rooms you had last week.”  One look at Gwen’s crestfallen face made her realize more had changed than she realized.  “Is that a problem, Gwen?” she asked gently.  She wasn’t trying to be nosey though her curiosity was piqued.  She was doing her level best to understand without causing anyone grief or embarrassment.  A task she’d apparently failed, she recognized, when Gwen’s eyes dropped and her face turned red.

Randi came to the rescue by stating quite bluntly.  “Gwen has discovered the only way she can sleep peacefully is by sleeping with me.  Think of me as a big security blanket.  Ow!” rubbing her side where Gwen had poked her.  But she smiled at the slight flush and tiny smile that still covered Gwen’s fair features.

Reed’s gray eyes widened in comprehension, and now it was her turn to blush.  She was torn between sheer embarrassment and true joy at their progress.  Embarrassment won momentarily.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize and after last week....  Damn!  And I know better than to assume too.”

Reed stopped speaking when the small hand touched her arm.  “Please don’t.  Our sleeping arrangements are really no one’s business but ours, and you were simply going by what you knew.  I appreciate your trying to make us comfortable.”

“Next time I’ll ask.”

“Next time you’ll know.  I don’t expect it to change again.”  Gwen’s voice lowered and she spoke to someone whom she knew would understand her next statement.  “No matter what I’ve lost, I know in my heart that she is home for me and always will be.”  Gwen squeezed the strong arm under her hand stepped away from Reed.  “Thank you for caring and for understanding.  Goodnight.”  Then she took Randi’s hand and led her into the room they would share.

“Goodnight, guys,” seeing the sheen of their combined auras beginning to meld and rebond.  Randi’s blinding smile was almost painful but so worth it.  Only when the door closed and she had started to walk away did Reed answer her.  “Oh Gwen, yes I do understand.  And you have no idea how wonderful that feeling is right now.”  She smiled to herself with a glance toward the closed door as she reached her own.  “But you will.”

“Carbon seems to have taken a real liking to the two of you,” Reed commented to Gwen the next day as they sat petting the puppies.  Randi and Tiny had gone into the exercise room before breakfast, and the two women had decided to delay the meal to go check on the pups.  They were pleasantly surprised to find them awake and nursing and had stayed around to play with them a little afterwards.

“Hmm, yeah, but what is up with Ditto?  She is pricklier than a cat in heat whose fur’s being stroked the wrong way.”

Gray eyes twinkled merrily at the colorful description.  “Being a bard gives you an interesting way of putting things, doesn’t it, Gwen?  Actually I think she senses that things are not all right, and it makes her wary.  Animals are very sensitive to change.  And you are different from the person who brought her here.”

“I’m working on that,” Gwen muttered half angrily.  “It’s not my fault.”

“I know that Hon, but you just can’t explain that to a dog.  Give it some time.  She’ll come around... and so will you.”  She clasped Gwen’s shoulders and gave her a brief hug.  “C’mon.  I think they owe us breakfast this time.”

************

“That was an amazing weekend.  Thank you so much for suggesting it.”  The two women were comfortably sprawled on the couch.  A bottle of merlot sat on the table, and they had the French doors open letting in the night breeze coming off the water.  “This is so nice.”

“Hmm, yeah, it is.  And yeah it was.”  Randi leaned back and stretched.  “I’m beat though.”

Gwen yawned.  “Me too.”  She set her empty glass on the table.  “The wine is making me sleepy.  I think I’m going to get ready for bed.”  She stood and reclaimed her glass, picking up the wine.  “You want some more?”

“No thanks,” Randi replied, then yawned.  “I think I’ll lock up and head to bed myself.”

Gwen reached down and took the glass from Randi’s hand.  She had the things put away and was up the stairs before Randi moved off the couch.  Hmm, maybe she’s comfortable enough sleeping alone because we’re home again, Randi thought to herself as she shut the doors and set the security.  That doesn’t make sense though.  We were here before, and she wasn’t sleeping.  She shrugged her shoulders.  The most obvious reason didn’t occur to her.

Randi finished her evening’s absolutions, threw on her pajamas and crawled into the big bed.  She stretched again, stopping in mid-motion when she heard a small sound at the door.  Relaxing, she turned her head to see Gwen standing hesitantly in the doorway.  Without a word, she lifted the covers in silent invitation.  She saw the relief flow through the bard’s body, and she felt it a moment later when Gwen practically collapsed on top of her.  “I wasn’t sure you wanted me here,” Gwen whispered.

“Oh, my bard.  You belong here.  You always have.  I wondered when you went upstairs, but I figured you’d do what made you comfortable.”  A breath.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”  Gentle fingers started an almost absent tracing, and twin sighs accompanied the touch.  “I just figured we couldn’t both get in the bathroom at the same time, ya know?  So I used the one upstairs.”  She paused and her hand stilled.  Randi reached up and took the small hand in her own.

“What is it, Gwen?”

“I... would you mind... I mean....  Look, I know that this is your room and all, but... wouldyoumindterriblyifImovedin?”  The words came out in a rush as though she was afraid of the answer.  Now Randi sat up, bringing the sprawled bard up with her.  With her free hand she cupped Gwen’s chin until green eyes met her own.

“Gwen,” softly, tenderly. “Take a good look around you.  This is our room and has been for a while.  Light.”  They both blinked at the sudden brightness, and Randi waited while Gwen hesitantly looked around.  Gwen took the time to really study the room and saw the truth in Randi’s words.  “The only things not here are the things you took upstairs after we got back after....”

“So, this is where I’m supposed to be?”  She paused and Randi nodded.  “Good.  Light.”  The room fell into darkness and Randi eased the two of them back at Gwen’s gentle urging.  “Because this has become home to me.”  Her hand resumed its feather-light motions, and she felt Randi smile.  “Goodnight, Gunny.”

When Randi didn’t respond, she figured she was already asleep and was quick to close her eyes.  Only when Randi felt her deep even breathing did she answer.  “Goodnight, Love.”

Morning came much too early, but the pair got up and did their morning sparring before getting ready for work. Gwen still wasn’t entirely comfortable with sharing bathroom space, but she was perfectly content with Randi’s acceptance of the progress she’d made so far.  She herself was fairly anxious to get back to her diaries and see if what she suspected was true.  It was a very odd feeling.  Half hoping, curious, and completely unsure.  It caused her belly to ache in anticipation, her palms to sweat and her head to buzz slightly.  Quite disconcerting actually, and it caused her to stumble as she came down the steps.

Randi had seen her misstep and had rushed to catch her before she hurt herself too much.  So Gwen landed happily in a pair of strong Marine arms.  “You all right?” came the low voice very close to her ear.  The sound sent tingles traveling up her spine and cascading down again.  “Gwen?  Did you hit your head?  Are you hurt?”  Randi was sure she’d managed to stop the fall before it became painful, but Gwen’s lack of a verbal response was causing her some serious alarm.  Before Gwen could answer or protest, Randi swung her up into her arms and moved them to the bedroom.  She tucked Gwen back into the big bed, happy she was without shoes and sat down next to her, riffling her bangs out of her face.  Gwen closed her eyes, savoring the touch.  “Maybe you’d better stay home today.  I think the events of the last couple weeks are finally catching up and taking their toll.”

Green eyes reluctantly opened and peered up into concerned blue.  There was nothing she wanted more in this moment than to snuggle down and take Randi up on her offer.  But she knew there was nothing really wrong with her so she sat up protesting... only to be hit by a wave of dizziness so severe her entire world buzzed and went black.  She fell into Randi’s chest unknowingly, and Randi caught her easily.  She laid Gwen back on the bed, stripping the covers away to elevate her feet.  Randi pulled the sheet back over her and grabbed a wet rag from the bathroom.  When Gwen finally opened her eyes, she put a hand on Randi’s arm.  Randi immediately stopped wiping the pale face and looked down.

“You all right?”

“What happened?”

Spoken simultaneously.  Randi motioned for Gwen to speak, keeping a slight pressure on her shoulder to make sure she remained still.  Gwen wasn’t in a rush to move however, and lay back comfortably.  She patted the arm Randi was holding her down with, and Randi started to move it.  She was surprised when Gwen simply held on to it.

“I’m okay, I think.  Just a little weak.  That was weird.  What happened?”  She reached a hand up to her head.

“You blacked out... completely.  I think it may have something to due with those pressure points.  I’m gonna call a medical friend of mine.  See if she can come help me figure this out.  And I need to call Tommy and let him know we won’t be in today.”

“Randi, you don’t need to do that.  I’ll be fine.”

“Gwen, you are NOT going into work today... or did you mean you don’t want me to stay with you?”

“Randi, I know you’ve got several important meetings today.  You can’t just miss them because I had a little dizzy spell no matter how much I’d like that.  We’ve missed so much time there recently.  It’s not fair to everyone at Midas.”

“The hell with them!  My primary concern, my only concern right now is you.”

The intensity in the blue eyes was mesmerizing, and Gwen felt herself falling into them easily.  Unconsciously, her hand stroked the thick, dark hair away from Randi face, coming to rest at the back of her head.  Of their own volition, Gwen’s fingers began a gentle scratching, grinning outright when Randi closed her eyes and purred like a kitten.  Gwen looked at the sleek form in front of her and revised her assessment.  Hmm, more like a panther.  She kept it up for a few minutes until she felt Randi relax.  “Randi, I’d much rather you be here.  You told Reed the truth, you know.  You really are like a security blanket for me.  I always feel safe, protected... home... when we’re together.”

“Then....”

“Wait... I would rather you be here, but you have other responsibilities as well.  Your friend won’t get here til this afternoon at earliest, right?”  Gwen waited for the nod.  “Well, I’ll be honest.  I may read a bit, but I am just as likely to sleep a bit more.  So what if you do half a day and come home around lunchtime?”

Randi gazed into Gwen’s eyes for very long moment.  Then she nodded.  “That is an acceptable compromise... IF....”

“If?”

“If you promise to stay here in this bed until I get home.”  Gwen opened her mouth to speak.  “I will move your diaries or get you some juice or whatever you want before I leave.”  A large hand caressed a pale cheek.  “I’m really.... I worry about you.”

“I’ll be good.”

“And I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

The vid call to Lacey was made on the way in to Midas.  The Sabre promised to move her appointments around, and be at Randi’s before dark.  When she reached the Guild, Randi went straight to Tommy’s office.  Beth didn’t even try to slow her down the look on her face was so fierce.

“Good mor...”  He stuttered to a halt at the look on her face.  “Randi?”  He stood up and opened his arms.  With a little cry, she fell into them.  He stood holding her tightly, rocking them both gently back and forth.  They stayed that way for a time before he felt her draw a long, shuddering breath and pull away from him slightly.  “You all right there, Short Stuff?”

She stepped back further, and he allowed her some space, letting her regroup her defenses.  “Yeah; thanks, T.  I just needed a hug.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about really.  It’s just... God, this is so hard.”

“Randi, you don’t have to share... you know that.  But I can’t help if I don’t understand.”

She smiled tremulously at him.  “You can’t help with this anyway, T.  But... it’s just hard, all this stuff with Gwen. Sometimes I just want to tell her, but....”

“But it’s better if she learns the truth of her own heart in her own time.”

“Yeah, exactly.  There is something else too.”  His brow rose in question.  “Ben manipulated some pressure points, which are a big part of her memory problem, and they’re the reason she’s having headaches and dizzy spells lately.” She took a deep breath.  “I have a medical friend coming later today to help me see if we can figure out how to unlock them.  Until then she’s at home in bed.”

He nodded in acceptance.  “Is she gonna be all right?”

“I’m gonna do my best to make sure she is.”

“Then she has nothing to worry about.  She is in the best of hands.”

Randi smiled, genuinely this time.  “Thank you, Tommy.  Let me go and get to work.  I’ve got a couple things to clear before I get back home to her.”

He took her in his arms, and they exchanged another hug.  “You’ve got it bad, huh?”

“She owns me, T... body, heart, and soul... even if she doesn’t know it yet.”  He stood stunned, never having expected such a frank admission from the proud warrior.  “Close you’re mouth, Brother.  You’re gonna catch flies.”  His jaw snapped shut with an audible sound, and Randi had to stifle a giggle.  “Thanks, Tommy.”

He shook his head to clear the fog.  “Anytime, Short Stuff.  You know that.  Glad I could help.”

For a while, the roiling in her gut kept her in the bathroom.  When she finally went to work, she was courteous, though brisk, and it was clear to everyone that her mind was not really on her work.  Her eyes kept straying to the clock, willing the time to pass faster.

Gwen sat up, gasping.  The images that remained from her dream were haunting in the extreme.  Randi killing Ben morphed into Randi killing her... her killing Ben... her killing Randi.  It was so confusing, so terrifying.  She wasn’t sure what to make of the things she saw.  Her mind understood it was her subconscious helping her cope, but she wondered why or how this was going to help.  It certainly wasn’t helping her emotionally.  I thought I had accepted this... put it all behind me.  Why am I dreaming these things now?  She lay back down, curling herself around the warrior’s pillow.  She found comfort in the scent, and she closed her eyes, trying to think of more pleasant things.  She didn’t plan to fall asleep and never even realized when she drifted off in slumber.

Gwen was surprised when she opened her eyes again and found it to be well into mid-morning.  She felt much better, and she stretched and yawned.  Maybe I really did need some sleep.  Wow!  She scooted up to the head of the bed and slid into a sitting position.  She reached over and picked up the thermal cup, swallowing the cold juice gratefully.

“Mmm,” she hummed to herself.  “That hits the spot.”

Gwen replaced the cup on the nightstand and picked up the diary she had asked Randi to retrieve for her before she had left for Midas.  She looked at the cover for a long moment before she opened the book, found her place and began reading.  Soon she was engrossed in her own words, reliving and reviving memories that had been stolen.  She never even heard Randi come home.

Part 3